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Hello and welcome to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things self-love, spirituality, and personal growth. I'm your host, Kim Peretz. I'm a three-time author, content creator, avid traveler, entrepreneur, and matcha enthusiast. You are at the right place if you're ready to rediscover the love within, align with your purpose, and unleash your highest potential. It's time to claim your power.
Hello, my friends, and welcome back. Today, we are talking about how to have some self-respect because I know you need to hear this. The person who clicked on this needs to hear this. So we are going in for a full ride, how to have some self-respect, how to command respect from other people in your life, because I truly believe that when you have self-respect, you
everything around you changes. Some of you guys out there are settling for breadcrumbs, you're settling for the bare minimum, you're settling for people in your life who don't even respect you enough to communicate with you, to clap for you when you succeed, to want to see you thriving. So I want to start off by saying that I truly believe and
This is coming from an ex-people pleaser. I used to be the biggest people pleaser. Ask my mom. She knew this. All throughout my childhood, I was the biggest people pleaser. I constantly wanted people to like me. I was begging for validation, begging for people to see me. And so I was basically a doormat.
I let people walk all over me. I didn't value myself. I didn't respect myself. And that led me to be miserable, to be really insecure, and to not have people around me that truly lift me up. I have learned that being nice doesn't get you anywhere in life. And let me explain. There's a very big difference between being nice and being kind. Being kind is treating other people with respect. It
It's showing up from the heart to people who deserve your kindness, to people who are treating you with kindness and respect back. On the other hand, being nice has nothing to do with kindness.
I don't want to be called nice. That's not a compliment to me. I don't want to be the nice girl. I want to be the kind girl that has respect for herself and other people around her respect her too. Because being nice, people who are nice, who always want to be perceived as nice, are people that will put up everyone
in front of them, everyone above them except themselves. They are people that will honestly never be honest with you. This is another thing that I've learned. Nice people will never be true friends to you because they are so caught up in people pleasing and they are so caught up in getting other people to validate them that they will never be the truest friend to you. They won't be honest with you. They are people that
are easily manipulated because they're not loyal. Nice people are not loyal people. That's something that I've learned and that is why I have learned throughout my life to really respect people who kind of have a cold edge to them. Not people that are rude, not people that are bitchy, but people that open up slowly and surely. I really, really respect those types of people and I've become that type of person because I've realized that being nice gets you walked all over. Now, I'm always kind and
I always treat people with kindness and respect no matter the situation. But I don't need everyone else to like me. I don't need every single person in my life to think that I'm the nicest person ever because frankly, if you are someone in my life who did me wrong, who betrayed me, who broke my trust, then I'm not going to be nice to you. I'm going to be respectful to you because I treat everyone with respect. But I'm not going to go out of my way and be nice to you.
so that's really the big difference that all of you guys need to understand is if you want more people in your life to start respecting you and valuing you you have to realize the goal is not to be nice the goal is for you to be authentic the goal is to be true to yourself the goal is to have standards for yourself and the people around you because that attracts like-minded people a lot of people always ask me if i believe in second chances
And I'll say this, I believe in second chances. I don't believe in third chances. Some of you guys are out there are giving people time and time again, the opportunity to treat you like shit, to disrespect you, to disempower you. And let me tell you something, I believe in second chances. I believe that anyone who wants to change has the ability to change because I see everyone's potential.
But at the same time, I don't put other people's potentials on a pedestal. I don't live in La La Land because not everyone chooses consciously that they want to evolve in their life. And when somebody else disrespects you, doesn't treat you with kindness and value and respect, and you give them the opportunity time and time again to keep doing that,
The responsibility is on you. It's one thing when someone disrespects you or treats you unkindly once. That's not your fault. But if you are letting a person in your life time and time again have access to you to disrespect you after they've already done it, the responsibility is on you because you need to start having better boundaries and better self-love and respect for yourself to know that you deserve people around you that don't treat you like shit.
I feel like some of you guys really need to hear this. Like some of you guys don't value yourself enough that you think that the people around you that are treating you the way that they're treating you is all that you deserve. And let me tell you something, you deserve only the highest of the highest. You deserve people who love you, who respect you, who see your value, who uplift you. That is what you deserve.
You don't deserve breadcrumbs. But some of you guys really need to start reminding yourself what you are worthy of. And this applies to your romantic relationships, to your friendships, and anyone else in your life. You need to start realizing that everyone in your life...
has an honor to be part of your life and you're not doing it from the ego because I'm teaching every one of you guys to have this mindset, not just one person. You're not above other people, but you know your energy, you know your value, and you know that when someone comes into your life, you have so much to give. Therefore, they have to abide by your energy. They have to have the same values and morals and standards as you and that's just a non-negotiable because otherwise they will
come into your life and they will suck your energy dry and they will take away your light. If you are someone that has a big heart and such a kind spirit, you need to start learning how to protect it because people will take advantage of you. This is just how life works on this earth. Earth is a planet of duality. There is good and there is bad and the light always wins but only if people know how to protect their
light. So the way that you start protecting your light is you start respecting yourself and you start looking in the mirror and seeing the magnificent person that's standing in front of it. And that is you. You see all the amazing traits that you have. You see your beauty, your radiance, you see your soul, your spirit, and you recognize that you have to start recognizing your own value and you have to start respecting yourself first. If you want other people in your life to also do the same to you, because every single person in your life is you pushed out.
So if you respect yourself, if you value yourself, you're also not going to no longer put yourself in positions and environments around people and energies that don't match that. You're just not going to. So if there's a part of you that keeps going back to old people, to old toxic environments, you have to ask yourself, what part of me doesn't respect and love myself enough that I keep going back to this place and doing this to myself over and over and over again?
Because subconsciously, your mind, the subconscious mind, does not care about making you happy. It cares about keeping you safe. That's its number one priority. So there is a part of you subconsciously that thinks that staying in that old environment or around that old person will be protecting you from something. Now, you have to start asking yourself, what am I trying to subconsciously protect myself from that I keep putting myself in environments where I'm disrespected?
Are you protecting yourself because you think you might lose certain people if you start respecting yourself? Are you protecting yourself because you think that if you start respecting yourself, then you won't be the same person that you used to be and subconsciously our minds do not like change. It scares us. It's out of our comfort zone. You have to start asking yourself, what am I protecting myself from? And how can I step into a new energy where I respect myself
where I value myself because all of you guys need to have more self-respect. Like starting it right now after you're listening to this, after you're watching this video, you all need to start having more self-respect and I promise you that if you start walking around in the world knowing who the fuck you are, loving yourself and respecting yourself and knowing that your energy and your time and your spirit is of value, then
then the people that are going to be coming into your life are going to be people unlike you've never met before. People that are on your level, people who value you, who treat you with so much love, who see your light, people who lift you up.
You will no longer be an energetic match to toxic people, to energy vampires, to narcissists because your energy won't be in that place. And if you come face to face with those types of people or those types of energy, you know how to confront it. You know how to recognize that because feeling intuitively, you know, I'm not feeling safe right now.
I'm not feeling respected right now. So therefore, I'm going to walk away and put my energy into a better place. This is really all it is. Life is a game of where you put your energy because where attention goes, energy flows. What you give your energy to and where you invest your time and attention is where you expand.
Are you investing your time and attention in places and habits and environments where your self-respect goes up, where you feel good, where you feel confident? Or are you spending your time and energy in places that are bringing you down, that are keeping you low? Because let me tell you something, people will either rise with you or they will fall off. But if you're someone that's not committed to your own path, then people will either rise with you or they will bring you down to their level. And you have to have enough self-respect to recognize that, that
No one, no one can bring you down to their level. So here are three things you can start doing right now to have more self-respect for yourself.
The first one is you have to start learning how to say no. Now, I'm not saying say no to everything, but say no when you genuinely don't want to say yes. If it is not a full body yes, then start practicing saying no. Start practicing honoring what you need in that moment and not thinking about what everyone else needs in that moment. Now, you're not doing it because you're conceited.
I'm all for being kind and compassionate and seeing that there's other people involved. But at the same time, make sure that you're not always saying yes to everything and everyone and then you're always saying no to yourself. There needs to be a balance. And in order to do that, you need to start practicing saying no when you genuinely don't feel like it.
because you're allowed to not feel like it in certain moments and you're allowed to say no and the right people in your life will respect that because they also have those boundaries and they also say no when necessary because they aren't nice. They are kind. That's the difference. Number two, and some of you guys won't like this one, but I stand by it, is you have to stop with the self-deprecating joke.
I don't care if you think it's funny or if this is how you express your humor. When you say self-deprecating jokes in front of other people, you are literally giving them the green light to disrespect you and do the same. Because they look at you and they say, oh, this is how she talks to herself. She disrespects herself constantly. She always talks herself down. So that means I can do that too. Because the way you treat yourself and the way you speak about yourself is the way you teach others to treat you as well. So stop with the self-deprecating jokes.
You don't have to love yourself in every single moment of your life, but your words are your wand. So be careful about how you speak about yourself in front of the mirror and in front of other people. Do not do the self-deprecating jokes anymore. Cut it out. It's not serving you. It's not lifting you up and it's holding you back in every single area of your life. And number three is you have to reawaken your drive and start setting some goals for yourself.
When you have goals for yourself, for your growth, for your habits, for where you want to go in life, then you have drive. You're heading somewhere. Even though you don't exactly know which direction you're heading or what's down your path, you have a goal. You have a value. You have somewhere that you're heading. And that is really important. Let me tell you why this connects to self-respect. Because when you are someone that's driven and has goals for themselves, you also are very committed to yourself and your growth.
And when you're committed to yourself and your growth, even if you don't feel amazing when you're starting off, you will start to respect yourself throughout the process because you start seeing, wow, I am growing. I'm evolving. I'm leveling up. I'm learning. I'm integrating. And that allows you to start coming back to the energy of you, to start valuing yourself because you see yourself doing so much for yourself, for committing to yourself. And when you commit to yourself, you start respecting yourself.
Beautiful souls, thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. As always, I will talk to you next week. Bye.