manifesting LOVE, dating, anxious attachment & quantum leaping ft. Alesha Soul
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Hello and welcome to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things self-love, spirituality, and personal growth. I'm your host, Kim Peretz. I'm a three-time author, content creator, avid traveler, entrepreneur, and macho enthusiast. You are at the right place if you're ready to rediscover the love within, align with your purpose, and unleash your highest potential. It's time to claim your power.

Hello guys and welcome back to Claim Your Power podcast. I am very excited for today's episode because I've got a special guest on with me today. Maybe some of you guys have seen her content on TikTok, but I have Alicia at Alicia Soul on with me today. She is a manifestation coach and

And we're here to talk all about quantum leaping, manifesting love, anxious attachment, and so much more. So thank you so much, Alicia, for coming on today. I'm so excited. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. So I want us to start off by you having to tell a little bit about yourself to my listeners, to anyone who doesn't know you.

I've always been really fascinated with energy before I even knew what energy was. I remember when I was younger and I would enter a room and I would feel like weird vibes, like it was like awkward or I felt like I didn't belong versus other rooms where it felt good and inviting. And then I

I remember when I would be dating and I would feel like this intuitive feeling that there's something wrong in this relationship. Like he's doing something that is not okay. I always notice these feelings within my body, which now I know is energy. It's this spiritual gift that we all have to be able to feel what is good for us, what is right for us.

And it's really the superpower. But before I knew about it, I felt very lost. And I felt like I was feeling too many feelings. And I ended up struggling and suffering with a really intense eating disorder for about five or six years. It was bulimia and diabetes.

Back then, I felt all I wanted was to feel love, but I didn't realize that at the time. I thought that changing my body would make me desirable. It would make me be worthy of my dream life, my dream love, my dreams of traveling. And as I hit this rock bottom where I

I remember I spent an entire summer, it was my first time ever living alone. And I spent the entire summer in this, I call it the dungeon. It was this apartment with only one window. And I just was a complete rat that whole summer, just like hiding out.

in this apartment by myself, so depressed, so low, just turning to food to comfort me and then feeling so guilty afterwards. And I remember I would scroll on social media and I would see all these people traveling and so happy and they would all be beautiful and shining. And I thought that will never be me. And I feel really grateful for that rock bottom moment because something moved through me

And it began to guide me and push me. And I slowly but surely found personal development and spirituality and inner healing. And as I began to move through all of these different personal development tools, I began to grow confidence in who I am, as in who I really am. Not my body, not the way I look, but my character, my heart, my personality.

And that allowed me to begin to heal these things that I was struggling with in my life. And then as I was healing, I thought I have to teach this to other people. So I wanted to teach self-love to other people. And as I began coaching people on self-love, it was so wild. Their lives began to change. They would...

get rid of these toxic friendships that they had been tying themselves to for so long. They would just naturally release them with ease. One client manifested her, um,

her soulmate, they're married now. Another client had this dream job fall into her lap. And I wasn't teaching manifestation. I was teaching self-love. I was teaching how to feel whole from within. And at the same time, when this was happening with clients, one of my best friends sent me Abraham Hicks. And I began to learn about manifestation. And I was like, holy shit, this is what we've been doing. We've been manifesting by changing our inner world. Our outer world is changing.

So since then, that was about five or six years ago, I deep dove into law of attraction, quantum physics, energy healing, manifestation, all of it. And I've studied and practiced and applied all of these different tools, which have allowed me to really create my dream life where now I

I travel full time. I'm currently in Bali and I have, I'm surrounded by the most incredible friends. I have a great relationships with my family, which I didn't in the past. I have my dream job and everything is really in flow. But I would say my favorite manifestation of all is feeling peace and joy within myself because without that, everything else is just this

that we're trying to fill ourselves with. So that's a little bit about me. And I'm just super passionate about teaching and coaching others to experience their dreams as well. I love that. I love when you were talking about how you started developing love for yourself because of your character and your heart. And this is something that I always say on my podcast. I always say,

Work on things that people can't take away from you because your character and your heart and the way that you perceive yourself from within, that's yours. No one can take that away from you. So I love that. And I love how you reaffirm that to my listeners because it's such a powerful concept.

And you were talking about how you were on your self-development journey and you were discovering a lot of things. So I am curious to know what's one tool or modality that you find really, really powerful that you would want to share? Yeah, well, there's many that work really well. But after being a full-on nerd about it, reading all the books, practicing all the things, I've really found that

It's actually quite simple. Like the most simple tools are what work really, really well. So one tool that I use to this day, every single day is breathwork. Breathwork allows us to calm our body down.

soften our nervous system, shift from anxious to peaceful, from worried to centered, from feeling lonely to feeling full of love, even if no one's around us.

And there's a lot of different kinds of breath work. Like there's transformational breath work, which is one that I teach where you lay down for 20, 30 minutes and you breathe. I don't do that every day. I do that every once in a while if I feel like there's an emotion to clear. I really like every day to take a deep breath and bring my awareness from my mind, which can be overthinking and worrying and wondering, right?

And I breathe down into my heart. And I actually have a lot of these little short meditations on TikTok, where I have people imagine that there's an elevator and they bring their awareness from their mind down into their heart and they just breathe into that place for a little bit. And that one shift alone is so powerful because it allows us to have a perspective shift. We can be

Maybe we're being really critical of ourselves and we breathe into our heart and we suddenly have compassion for ourselves. Maybe we're freaking out and wondering about what the guy we're dating is doing, but we soften and we bring ourselves into our center and we realize, oh, okay, I was getting a little bit carried away there. This is actually what I need. And, you know, that can kind of lead me to the second tool that I would love to teach your listeners, which is

After you bring your awareness down into your heart, you can even place one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly. I like to ask myself, what do you need right now and how can I love you more? And I'll even close my eyes and I teach this to my clients and we just take a deep breath. If you're listening and you're not driving, you can do this. Just breathe in and you feel your body and you ask your body, what do you need right now and how can I love you more?

And that question alone, it guides us to exactly what we need at any moment. Maybe we need rest. Maybe we need a deep breath. Maybe we need love and connection. Maybe we need to move our bodies. Maybe we need to vent or to eat or to sleep. Our body is always telling us what we really need. And when we listen to it, it solves a lot of our day-to-day problems.

I have to share two different points. So first of all, I love that. I just did that with you. I love that. So powerful. Also, really random, but this is like a funny synchronicity that the other day I was Googling quantum leap meditations because I wanted to do one.

And then I clicked on one and I'm like listening to it. And I'm like, why do I recognize this voice? And I'm like, wait, this is, and I go and I'm like, this is Alicia's meditation. And I literally did it a few days ago before we met. And I was like, this can't be real. Like, I did not know that that was your meditation. And it was very random that I clicked just on yours. But first of all, I loved it.

And second of all, it was just such a big confirmation that you were meant to come on the podcast. But another thing that I was just thinking of that I wanted to share as you were talking about like connecting back to yourself and like the elevator meditation is just another thing that has really worked for me, especially with.

struggling with anxious attachment and I feel like this is a great tip for a lot of other women is cord cutting. So what I like to do is I like to visualize the highest version of me. Like when I do meditations, I have this version of me that I see that's like wearing this white flowy dress and she's like in a field and she's just her highest self. And I have this version of me in my head. And so what I do is,

when I feel like I'm getting anxiously attached to any situation or like even a specific person, we form a cord with that person. And what I like to do is in that moment, I close my eyes and I imagine myself

taking the cord and connecting it back to my higher self. Because I noticed that a lot of people actually struggle with cutting the cord. Like even with me, sometimes it's hard for me to visualize myself just cutting a cord and having it be like unattached to anyone. So this is just something that really works for me is instead of cutting the cord, you take the cord and you see yourself attaching it back to like your higher self and

I just had to share that because as you were talking, it came up for me, but I want to know what you think about this. I love that. It's so powerful. And, you know, with anxious attachment, what tends to happen is, so most people with anxious attachment also have this pattern called the merging pattern. So when we were very young as babies and as little kids growing,

We are our physical bodies and nervous system had to figure out ways to flow emotion and energy that came into our bodies or else. Let's say we're crying as a baby. If the baby didn't learn how to flow the energy in some sort of direction, the baby could die because it's just so overwhelming to the nervous system. So.

There are five different ways that we can flow that energy. And when we're little, we test out these different ways. One is called the leaving pattern. So it's like leaving and disassociating from the body. Another is called the merging pattern. And what tends to happen is if we develop that merging pattern as a kid, we're

And we haven't learned how to fully heal that pattern or the trauma that caused it. We grow up into adults and it shapes our entire personality. But what's really cool is these patterns

These patterns are not like our horoscopes or our human design that says this is a template of who you are. The pattern is actually to create, when you learn about it, it's to create awareness around yourself and around others. And then to notice when you're in pattern and to recenter yourself and come back into a place of presence where you're living from authenticity, not from your pattern. So what I hear you saying is you notice you're in an anxious attachment,

And what happens in the merging pattern is actually energy flowing out, like reaching towards others, which is that cord. And what's so wild is the people that we're anxiously attaching to,

they can be so unconscious of it, but they feel that cord. They feel us like hooking into them. It's true. And especially men, I have to say, no, no, no. Like women are very highly intuitive, but so are men. And men can feel when someone is in chasing desperate energy. They can just feel it. Even if you don't say anything, even if you don't act on it, it's just energy. So it's so true what you're saying.

Yeah. Even if you don't take any action, you don't text them nothing. They can feel it. So I love that you just shared that tool about noticing the cord, cutting it and bringing it to your higher self. That's amazing for me personally. What I would do is just bring the energy back into my body and like ground. Yeah. But it really just depends what works for you. And what's really cool is when I've,

become anxiously attached to men that I'm dating and I practice this, it's so wild. Like I'll get a text like 10 minutes later. I'm like, oh my God, he felt it. That's so crazy. But what's cool is because I brought my energy back into my body. Yeah, of course I'm still interested in him, but it's from this place of empowerment. Like I'm good. And he texted me amazing. Now we can create a connection from this

place of wholeness rather than a trauma response. Yes. And I also think that's our natural state of being. Like, if you're someone who's had anxious attachment for so long, that's what gets comfortable because that's what we're used to. That's how we were brought up.

But once you learn how to shift it, and I also think it's really important to have compassion for yourself because it's kind of like an autopilot. So it's not like you're just going to listen to this podcast and then tomorrow never, ever feel anxiously attached. It's more about being aware to that and choosing to respond differently. And so I think once you start taking that inspired action of knowing like, no, this is a shift that I want to make with myself.

then you also start to feel like a different version of yourself. You feel safer with yourself. You feel more whole. You feel better in your body. And it's true that just, you know, everyone is you pushed out. So of course, if you make those internal shifts, then is there a cat behind you?

Or am I imagining? It's a dog. Oh, it's like a nice thing. Thanks. Everyone is you pushed out. So when you make that internal shifts, then people will just start responding to you differently. Like two years ago, I really, really had deep anxious attachment. I had just gone through a really hard breakup and

And the men that I was attracting into my life and the woman that I was is completely different. I sometimes even look back and I'm like, that was not me. Like you look back at an old version of you and you don't even recognize them. And now I'm just a completely different version of myself where I love myself. I feel whole. I love feeling pursued. Like I can go on the street. Like people think that men no longer pursue that. It's only dating apps and stuff.

That's not true. I was just walking on the street the other day and a man comes up to me and is telling me very beautiful and radiant and asked for my number. So this is just proof that there are men like this out there still many of them. And when you shift your energy, you just start calling those types of men and because you're a vibrational match to them.

100% and I feel that in you. You're like glowing and that radiant energy as you walk down the street and that radiant energy and you have the intention of I want to be pursued today or this week. I mean, it just happens but you have to be open to it and I love that you shared how as you do this work on yourself, the reflection of

the kind of people you attract into your life changes. I really like to get curious. And I always ask myself, like I am dating as almost a measurement of the kind of woman that I am. I remember when I started doing this work more and more, yeah, I was still a bit attracted to the fuck boy who kind of like,

You know, he was like better. Yeah, he was better than my past where I was in a

I was very anxiously attached to one guy in college for three years. He slept with probably 50 other women. I knew about it. And I just, it was so attached to him. So this, this guy, he was an improvement. Yeah. I was like, why, why am I attracting this? And why am I attracted to it? Yeah. And then I would do some more healing work.

And then it's like each one gets better and better and better. And now the men that I date, that I attract and that I'm attracted to, I'm like, whoa, I didn't even know men like this exist. It's amazing. It's so true because if you – the people that you are attracted to is also a reflection of yourself. And I think the more inner work that you do as a woman from within –

The more you realize that men who aren't consistent, men who don't make you feel like a queen, who you don't feel safe around...

They give you the ick. Like I used to get the ick from consistency. I used to get the ick from men pursuing me. And now when a guy doesn't make me feel like a queen and obviously like it goes both ways. We can't just expect a guy to worship the ground that we're on and we don't, you know, give him the same energy of feeling heard and all those things. But I think it's so interesting because now like those types of men just, I don't even look at them. I'm like, I already know what this is.

I know the dusty crusty and I'm not getting me. Like, I'm like, this is attractive. Yeah. It's like, I see the red flag and there's no part of me. I may be, I may think, wow, he's really hot. He's really sexy.

but there is no part of me that would entertain it at all. Yes. It's really interesting. Yes. Like I think you can still think that the person is handsome or physically attractive, but because you've done so much inner work, you know that that's not enough for you. Like that's not something that you would want to entertain or pursue. So I think it's so interesting that you mentioned that. And I'm curious about,

For you, like I want to know from your own work, how do you see feminine energy intersect with attachment styles and anxious attachment? We all have masculine and feminine energies within us. So the masculine is the part that's either leaning in and taking action. So let's say as a woman, like the masculine energy in me will take action in my work.

The masculine is also the part that holds standards and boundaries and protects me. So I have to cultivate my, yeah, I have to cultivate my inner masculine energy to be

my standards of what I'm available for, to set boundaries, to be financially responsible, to stick to commitments I make for myself. It's really that like protector and provider energy. And as an entrepreneur, it's important to embody that. There's a lot of women who want to be fully in their feminine energy while in business and being an entrepreneur. And that's,

you need that like protector and provider energy in order to grow your impact and your income if you are an entrepreneur. So I speak to that to kind of share the polarity. The feminine energy to me is this part of us that

It's receptive, leaned back. It's the part of us that can go lay in the sun and just receive the sun or receive the breeze on our skin. It's the part of us that loves to flow and feel emotion and dance. It doesn't have to be dancing, but you know, when you dance, you just feel like energy moving through you, joy moving through you. That's very feminine. So yeah,

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tends to happen is people can get either caught in the masculine energy, afraid to feel, afraid to be in their feminine, or they get caught in the feminine and they're over feeling. They're over leaning into only receiving. So how this can kind of connect with anxious attachment is if we start dating someone or we're in a relationship with someone and we begin to feel

anxiously attached to them. So let's say you go on a few dates, you're like, oh my gosh, this person is incredible. I can already see our future. I can already see us getting married, having babies. And I want to spend all the time with him. I want to go where he wants to eat. I want to do what he wants to do. I want to just be around him all the time. What can tend to happen is we're so leaned back

And we're so attached that we lose ourselves. We lose our boundaries. We lose our standards. We lose who we are in the other person. And it can be really unconscious, like months or even years can go by. And then when shit starts to hit the fan, you realize, whoa, I've been really codependent on this other person. And I've actually...

lost myself. I haven't been engaging in my hobbies or feeling fulfilled on my own. So to me,

like if I'm moving through feeling anxiously attached to someone, it's actually my masculine energy that comes in and is like, whoa, this is like kind of an alarm system. Like you're going through a trauma response right now. Let me remind you of your worth. Let me remind you of what you're available for. And let's filter and see, is this guy actually

creating you right is he actually uh deserving of you and your energy or do we need to cut him out and you're just having a trauma response you're attached to him but he's not actually worthy of you and if there's an anxious attachment to someone who is amazing and is worthy of your energy then we want to use our feminine energy to actually come into our body to feel ourselves to um

sometimes i'll even do like a self pleasure practice and i'll circulate my breath through my body it's called the microcosmic orbit you just breathe up your spine and down the front of you and what it does is it starts to um almost like fill you up with life force energy and from that place you feel who you are you feel oh right i'm alicia i'm not becoming this person who i'm attracted to

And I enjoy doing X, Y, Z. So I'm going to live my best life and simultaneously date this person and grow this relationship and keep coming back to myself and my center.

I love that. And I think it's so, so powerful, everything that you're saying. And I always say this, you need to create a life for yourself that you genuinely love and you're genuinely proud of and no one can take away from you. Like,

pour energy into your hobbies, into your habits, into what fills you up because I also think that makes you more powerful and radiant as a woman. So for instance, if there's a guy that's texting you last minute, asking to go on a last minute date, but you've got plans with your friend for coffee or you were planning on going to the gym, then those are like opportunities for you to see, am I going to completely collapse all my boundaries

and all my routine and my standards for this one guy. So I think it's really important. And I noticed that the more that you value your time and your energy and your life and what you radiate out into the world, the more that the people in front of you will also start to value your time and also start to see you for that amazing, worthy person that

that you are. So I think it's just such a powerful thing that you mentioned, like pour energy into you first. And when you feel the anxious attachment, that's an amazing time to like come back into your body and

fill up your cup again for anyone that's going through a breakup right now or just ended some relationship ask yourself are you filling up your own cup first and once your cup is filled that's when you can go out and start getting to know other people and forming connections because if you're not doing it from that place the type of people you'll also attract will be people that

are either avoidant or people that will leverage and take advantage of your softness or your vulnerability. And that's really where, again, the masculine energy comes in where there needs to be a balance. There can't be, I think it's really important for women to realize like there's a bunch of like creators and people talking about feminine energy, but it's not coming at the expense of your boundaries or your standards.

or voicing your opinions. There's not one way to be in your feminine energy. You don't have to speak a certain way or dress a certain way to be feminine. It's an energy that you radiate. Yes. I am just clapping. I want to drop a mic. It's so true. There's not one way to be feminine. And

You know, I'm certain that your listeners, like if someone's listening to this kind of a podcast, I'm fairly confident that they want a deeply fulfilling, beautiful relationship. And the kind of man, woman, whatever kind of partner you're attracting, you're going

they, I'm certain they think it's so sexy that if you have a full life, if you have hobbies, if you are busy, if you've got, it doesn't have to be a full schedule, but like you've got things on the calendar and you're living your best life. And what happens when we do this is

At least for me and some of my clients, maybe you can let me know if you feel the same way. When I'm living my best life, I have my girlfriends, I have my hobbies.

And I'm wanting to date. It's from this place of detachment. It's like, yeah, it would be so great to have like the right person with me to share this life with. But I don't need it to happen right now. I don't need to sit and cry and feel lonely because I'm manifesting from this place of abundance. Like genuinely, it's like...

we feel more whole. And from that wholeness, like you said, you go out on the street, people ask you out. You're extremely magnetic. Men would never, ever ditch their friends or not go to the gym

for just a girl that they just met a day ago. So if you're doing that for a guy that you just met that you don't know, then you need to realize that you have to bring your energy back into your body because men are so great at this. They're so great at this. Like obviously not all men, but I grew up with a lot of men in my life. Men,

have an amazing, they build amazing lives for themselves, especially in their 20s. They're just like working and they're striving and they're going after their goals. And so they would never ditch their boys and

for a date. And so you shouldn't either, like you shouldn't ditch your friends or not go and go to that yoga class or that retreat or go on that walk with your dog, like whatever it is, like if you have those plans, you have to be loyal to yourself because if you expect other people to be loyal, if you want to trust other people, then you have to develop trust with yourself first. And I find that a lot of women and a past version of myself,

was always breaking her own promises. And that's also why I kept attracting men and friends into my life that were inconsistent, that broke their promises to me, because I didn't trust myself fully. And I didn't even trust myself. Are you thumbing me up? I'm seeing your thumbs up. But are you thumbing me up? No. Oh, my God. I don't know what it is then. Yeah.

Maybe it's spirit. Oh my God. As I was talking, I just kept seeing like a reaction, like a thumbs up. It's doing it right now.

What the heck? Oh, you're not doing that? I'm not doing anything. No. Okay, I think it's the universe just confirming this message. I was sure you're doing it. God, I'm shocked. I'm like, my hands are on my lap. What are you talking about? Oh, I was so... No, I kept seeing, like, the thumbs-up reaction go up on my... Oh, my God, that's weird. Okay, it's definitely the universe confirming this message. Okay.

But yeah, like it's so important to keep your own promises. I feel like that's one of the things that I always tell women. Stop breaking your own promises because then when you have trust with yourself, you also will be able to recognize people who don't treat you that way and you just won't put your energy in that place. Kim, I just want to say...

You know manifestation so well. Just from that little sentence or paragraph or whatever, I feel like we need to double click into that. And I'm just going to re-share what you shared. Because you just said something huge, which is the men or people we attract into our life are reflecting not only who we are, but our relationship to ourself.

So it's so easy to date someone and be like, gosh, like, you know, he's kind of like a self loathing, like, or he, I just feel like I can't trust him or he breaks commitment. Well,

Ask yourself. Do you self-loathe? Do you break commitments with yourself? Do you trust yourself? It's everything and when I was in that three-year relationship Where he kept cheating on me. I was blaming him. I was like, this is all him But now I stayed in it because I was letting him The reason that I was attracted to him and I didn't get the if which I would now is because

He was matching the level of love that I was giving myself. I wasn't loving myself. I wasn't being kind to myself. I wasn't respecting myself. I wasn't valuing myself. So of course he wasn't either. It was just about vibrational match. Wow.

So powerful. I love that. Thank you also for sharing your story about that because I feel like that really helps other women to know that maybe someone else has gone through a similar story and then this is where they are now because I feel like

especially with manifestation is when you see someone else that has and is living the life that you want and you know that what they've been through and you know where they used to be, it's such a big source of inspiration and it's mere proof that you can do it too. So I love that. Thank you for sharing. And I want to transition now to quantum leaping. So I saw you made a video on TikTok about collapsing time.

So I would love for you to expand on that. How do you collapse time? How do you manifest more quickly and with more ease? Yeah, so this is another topic I love to nerd out about because it just, the concept of time and collapsing time. So what collapsing time means if someone's listening that doesn't know, it means, let's say you're manifesting a certain amount of money,

or a certain love in your life, whatever you're manifesting. And you are imagining, okay, that feels realistic in one year. The collapsing time is shortening the amount of time between now and one year from now. So we can use certain energetic tools to make that happen in six months or three months or one month. Now, whenever I teach about quantum leaping,

on a deeper level than on my TikTok, I really want to share that it's really cool, but it also can add this pressure to people of like, okay, I'm doing my quantum meditation. It hasn't manifested yet. What am I doing wrong?

And whenever you ask yourself that question, just know that you're in a place of lack. You're in a place of worry. You're disconnected from that feeling of it being here. So you're no longer a vibrational match. So your job in that moment is to come back to feeling the feelings of it being here. Now, how we collapse time is I feel like we first need to understand that.

as much as our minds can that the past, the present, and the future are actually existing now. So when we do certain meditations such as my quantum leap meditation, what I like to do is envision the highest, most authentic, aligned, abundant version of myself.

that actually already exist. And what happens in those meditations is you begin to see images or feel feelings and often they'll kind of surprise you. Like for me, when I did this last summer calling in like the next level version of me, I began to see that I wasn't sharing on social media in the same way. And I was living like in a certain kind of home in a certain kind of nature setting.

And as we do that kind of meditation, what happens is we're not only seeing this clear vision of the future that's really aligned with our soul. It's actually this future version of us that is already there. And what we can do in meditation is speak to that version of us. And we can ask that version of us. Let's say when I was doing this meditation, I was in a room.

The version of me was like 40, 50 years old. And I said, okay, sweet. I'm like wealthy. I'm in love. I'm super peaceful. I'm like this off the grid healer. So future version of me, tell me about life. What does it feel like? What does it look like? And please fill my body with those feelings. Fill me with guidance. Fill me with inspired action so that I can start showing up as that version of me now.

So since then, this was last summer, I kept practicing that and I began to take inspired action and things have manifested really quickly that are very aligned with that version of me that I saw. And it's only been maybe nine months since then. So something that I saw that I'm experiencing 30 years from now

I've been able to create in less than a year, more and more each day. So we can really bend time and space by aligning our energy, our thoughts, our feelings, and our emotions with the version of us

that we think is our 50 year old self, we can begin to embody those feelings, take action from that place. And then time begins to collapse and shorten between where you are and where your manifestation is. Everything that you were saying was just reminding me of the quote, visualize your higher self and then show up as her or become her. And I think that's really powerful because again,

everything exists in the quantum field like all possibilities all versions of us exist and when we shift our energy we shift our life and it all comes down to our choices I really think

everything comes down to a choice. And I was actually working with a mentor a couple years ago, and she shared with me this really powerful identity shift of whenever you feel stuck in life or you feel like you don't want to do something, she just reminded me that you always have a choice. Even if there's consequences to your choices, you still have a choice. You can decide, oh my God, I have to go to work.

I have to see my coworkers, la la la. Or I am choosing right now this morning to go to work. I'm choosing to get in my car and go to work

Because the truth is, you do have a choice. You can decide you don't go to work. There's going to be consequences. Maybe you get fired. But you always have a choice in life. And I think when you start making that shift with yourself, you manifest more quickly because you step out of victimhood. And so I'm not telling people to make choices that are going to completely shift their life in a negative way. But I think whenever you find resistance in your life towards something or even something

a version of yourself because you can't hate your life and create a new one. You can't hate yourself into a new version of yourself. You can only create changes through love and through support and acceptance for yourself. And so I hope that kind of connected to what you were saying. Yeah, it definitely connects. And, you know, when you said we always have choices, like we're choosing to go to work, we're choosing to do this. One of my favorite things,

So another tool that is so simple that I'm genuinely obsessed with is gratitude. Really not just saying what I'm grateful for, but feeling it in my body and, um,

I learned this from a life coach many years ago to say, instead of like, oh, I have to cook or I have to work out. It's I get to write. I get to is such a blessing. I get to. And just that one word shift is so major.

I love that. So I want to ask you one last question. So how do you manifest love? Because I know so many people listening to this want to manifest a relationship. Even myself, I'm in a place in my life where I'm starting to call it in. So I would love to know all your tips and everything that you want to share on that. Yes.

So I love that we've already spoken to the anxious attachment so much because when you start dating, those tools will be really important. But so my favorite thing to do when manifesting love and to teach others, I learned this from a breathwork healer that I learned from called David Elliott. What you do is grab your journal and write out your dream partner. So list out your,

what is their personality like? What do they like to do? What are their hobbies? And most importantly, how do they make you feel? Okay. So you'll list that out. And actually, do you want to do this with me? Like, do you want to share some things that you're manifesting in a partner? Yeah. So I feel like I don't talk too much like about my dating life online, but I'm definitely like in the past two months, I've really, like,

look deep in the mirror myself and I'm like, I'm ready to call it in. I am calling in someone who's very driven, passionate, wise, someone that when I'm around him, I feel like it's a breath of fresh air, very safe, that I can be a woman around, you know, that I can let my guard down and just feel, be, have fun. Someone who likes to wake up early, who, you know,

is an entrepreneur who has big dreams, an amazing family that I get along with that's really important to me, someone that comes from my culture, gentle, generous. I have so many...

traits in my head those are just kind of like the big ones that are like non-negotiable important for me but I really think it's the feeling like how I would feel in the relationship which is safe protected fun intuitive creative like my highest self amazing I love that I was like I was feeling it with you it feels really good to imagine those qualities so after you finish that journaling

Your next job is to become that person. So become those qualities, make yourself feel that way, develop those hobbies yourself. A lot of times I feel like you're embodied in a lot of those qualities already, but there may be some people who journal it out and they realize, whoa, I actually, I want this, everything that I wrote, but I'm not a match to it. So when you list out

the kind of partner you want, your next job is to become it because you'll receive a match, right? You'll receive your reflection and then you'll be enjoying yourself so much. You'll be feeling so good in yourself that you'll be open and you're going to start meeting people who are a match. I did this once. He wasn't the love of my life, but I wasn't calling in the love of my life. I just wanted...

to date someone like that. And it was wild. Within like a couple of weeks, I met him and he was like exactly what I wrote on the lips, but I had been embodying it myself. And yeah, it blew my mind. You know, if we're calling in love,

What can tend to happen is we kind of will like either be out in the world looking for it or we'll be like swiping on dating apps, like looking for it. That's fine. But what I really recommend is to ask yourself, how can I experience more love today? So if you want to attract more love,

Have fun with your friends. Connect with your family. Amplify love in your body. Do things that you love. You're going to literally flow love through your body and you're going to become magnetic. Anytime I want to start dating again, I do this and it's like everywhere I go, it's like it's crazy. It feels like a book or a movie where it's like I'm asked out left and right and left and right.

And then I turn it off and I kind of just like closed that door because I can't walk through that all the time. But that's like a little hack for quantum leaping. Like if you really want to start dating and attracting love very quickly, do those two things and watch like magical things are going to start to happen. It's so true. And I think,

I think back about like every significant guy in my life and how he came into my life. And it really was like that, like me creating the version of them in my head and me being open to them and just allowing. And I think also something that I've realized that I think is so important to share is that

The universe always has a bigger plan for us. So sometimes we could have all these traits and we could be doing all the inner work and embodying all these things. But sometimes, especially with love, it's two people. So it's two completely separate lives, paths, energies coming together. And so I think sometimes there's just some things that happen in divine timing. And this is something that I always tell myself that...

everyone and every single thing and every single experience comes into my life in the most divine timing. And that's kind of what has helped me at least be in this loving, open energy, regardless of a partner. And I think that's why I have been attracting these amazing mass divine masculine men, maybe they aren't like the partner for me, but I have been in that, you know, vibration. And I think it's so important for women to remember that like,

let life surprise you like what you were saying about the dating apps and scrolling like sometimes the fun is just to like not know and just to let the universe conspire in your favor because something that i truly believe is you know love heals love is the highest energy so the universe wants you to meet the love of your life because when you meet someone and you create a loving connection that raises the collective consciousness and the frequency and so

I do believe that the universe conspires for people to meet, conspires for you to meet your right partner. And, um,

in divine timing. And when it's with the right person, the universe is not going to just, you know, open one heart. It's going to open both hearts. So I think it's just an important reminder for everyone listening that trust like the timing of your life because everything you don't know, maybe you're open and healing, but the love of your life right now is going through a massive shift or a massive breakup. And if you met him right now or met them right now, it wouldn't click. You wouldn't be in the same frequency. Yeah.

I love that you brought that up. It reminded me of the third tool I wanted to share. Our energy fields are so connected right now. It's cool. When you set an intention, it's like planting a seed in a garden. You only need to plant it once. So if you are wondering or worrying, like, where is it? Where is it? You don't need to keep reminding God or the universe. Like they know.

It's the field of self-organizing and self-correcting. And you're right. Like the other person may be in a long-term relationship right now that they need to exit or they're like on some mission in some other part of the world. Who knows? And one of my favorite tools in the world that I use when manifesting anything that feels a bit...

um long term or bigger and I don't want to necessarily be like okay let's manifest it today I I after I've set the intention once my rule is I will not ask for it again I say thank you I say thank you God universe for bringing this person into my life thank you

for growing this kind of business for me. Thank you. It's always thank you in advance. And that's this little hack that feels so good, right? No, I do this all the time. So I'm Jewish. So on Shabbat, I don't know if you know much about Judaism. There's a concept called Shabbat, which is Fridays. It's like the holy day. It's a day for rest,

and reconnecting to yourself and the universe or God or whatever term you like to use. But women light two candles for Shabbat. And something that I do on Shabbat is like, I will pray and think in advance for the universe, sending me my future man and my future friends and all the future blessings. And it feels so good. You're so right. Like it feels so good to think in advance and

And even pray, because I really think prayer and manifestation are just so interconnected. It's just like the way you go about it. But just setting that intention out there already and having gratitude is so powerful. And I have to share this other manifestation tip that I feel like you're really going to love. Maybe you've done it before, but

I love to make contracts with the universe. Now, I will say that this is not something that you do with everything. This is not something that you do for like manifesting a parking spot or like something small. And it's something that you have to do when like you're in a really high energy. So I recommend meditating before anything.

spending some time alone, not letting other people's energy be in your field when you do this and even doing it out in nature, like by an ocean or on the grass or something. But anything that you want to manifest is

You can make a contract on it with the universe because you are a co-creator. So something that I've done in the past is like, I'll take a piece of paper and I'll write down to the universe gratitude. Like, thank you so much for sending me this, or thank you so much for helping me create this business or something. So I'll give an example.

Let's say you want to manifest love. So you can say, dear universe, thank you so much in advance for sending me my dream man, the person that I've wanted. And you list all the traits and all the qualities and you write like all the parts of the contract and everything that you want and all the tweaks on that piece of paper. And then you write an in exchange statement.

I will. And then you commit energetically to doing something in that same energy back. So it's not like in exchange, like I'll give you money or something. So in exchange, I'm committed to continuing to spread love now in exchange, I'm committed to continuing to help other women love themselves and feel amazing and creating and just really putting that energy of what am I going to do now?

in the present with where I am now that can align with that energy that I'm already calling in. And so you kind of do an exchange of like, I want this. And in exchange, I'm going to do more good of this and I'm going to spread more energy for this. And then you sign it and then you make like a little cosine, like, and then you write universe and then you fold it up and you put it in a safe or something. It's so, so powerful. Like this is probably one of the most powerful manifestation techniques I've ever done because

But I had to share it. I've never heard of that. And I love it. And now I'm going to play with it and see what happens. I mean, you could do this for anything. But I do suggest doing this for really like big, like you said, long term big things like financial freedom, friendships, health, like everything.

like if you're struggling with your health, this is something that I did when I was very sick a couple of years ago. I also had an eating disorder and then ovarian cysts and I was spending like weekends in the ER and I was just very, very, very ill. And this is like a contract that I made with the universe that I'm committed for my health. Wow, it's 1111 on my clock. But for my health, I'm committed to

taking responsibility back for my life. And in exchange, I'm going to be healthy again. And so I love that I had to share it. And I wanted to ask you now, if there's anything else you want to share with my listeners, any last piece of advice or tips, anything that just is coming up for you right now? I know it can feel really overwhelming, hard, challenging, confusing. And

And I encourage you to tune into that version of you that's going to be telling the story in hindsight because you're going to move through it and you're going to be stronger from it. And I know it's really hard to realize that in the moment, but I've been through hell and back, I feel, and it's only made me stronger.

so much more happy and peaceful and wise and yeah, and you can genuinely manifest whatever it is that you want. I really encourage you to focus on

of wholeness and joy and peace and love because from that place, a lot of what we want actually falls away. And we just get into this flow of like, let me dance with life. Let me see where life wants to take me. I feel so good that I'm actually detached from needing a lot of things and I'm going to flow with life, which is this really fun place to be in. So I'm excited for you.

And I'd love to connect on socials if you want to come say hello at Alicia. That's all.

Well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast and for sharing your beautiful wisdom. And you guys, if you want to work with Alicia, connect with her, I will link all her links and all her socials and the episode notes. But again, thank you so, so much. I had so much fun talking to you. You are such a radiant person and woman, and I'm excited for you. Beautiful souls. Thank you so much for joining me in today's episode.

As always, I will talk to you next week. Bye.