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Hello, my beautiful friends, and welcome back to the Claim Your Power podcast.
podcast. I don't know why I made that intro super dramatic and extravagant, but we're here for it. I've done this episode topic before all about self love, but that was over a year ago, right when I started the podcast.
So I decided I have my journal next to me right now and I made a list of my five top self-love tips that have helped me in my own self-love journey that I really believe in, that I've seen results in, that have empowered me in so many transformational ways. So today's topic, today's episode, we're going to be talking about my top five self-love tips. So the first tip I have written down in my journal is take yourself regularly out on dates.
And these dates don't have to be like extreme or extravagant where you're going to a fancy restaurant and eating lobster. They can be something as small and mundane as like you going out for a coffee date for 20 minutes to journal and get yourself some matcha or you going on a walk. But just...
Start making it a ritual and a habit at least every two weeks. I say once a week if you can do that to take yourself out on some self-love dates. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship of your life and
And if you are someone who is like, I'm open, I'm ready to attract a partner into my life, you have to pour all the energy that you would pour into that partner into yourself first. And you have to tend to your own vibration first. So think about it this way. All the dates that you envision yourself, that you imagine yourself going out on dates with your partner when you're in a relationship, start showing up and doing those dates on your own. So if you are someone who loves to go watch basketball games,
take yourself out to a basketball game there's literally no shame in going out by yourself and anybody who tells you like that it's weird is just insecure and is projecting their own inability to spend time with themselves and you need to show up with yourself and those people that are limiting you with compassion and love because they don't know any better but i'm here to tell you that taking yourself out on a date on a self-love date going to a meal by yourself going on a walk by yourself
Taking yourself out mini golfing, like whatever it is that you like to do by yourself. There's no shame in that. Zero shame. If anything, I have admiration. Like have admiration for yourself and for people who do that. Someone who's able to like go and travel by themselves confidently or go out on dinner dates and fancy restaurants and sit on their own and keep themselves entertained and occupied and feeling good. Like that is something to admire because that is someone who is confident in their own skin, in their own person, in their own authenticity.
and that is something that is showing you that that person is embodied in their self-love. I started making it a weekly ritual to take myself out on self-love dates. Even if I only have like 20 minutes to spare, I will go and just get a coffee and listen to a podcast or journal. But I am telling you that that
little practice, this tiny habit that I've started implementing into building my own relationship and my own self love has changed my entire life. It has allowed me to feel so much more confident in my own person. It has taught me that being by myself or having a sense of independence is not daunting. It's actually powerful. And
And at first, I'm not going to lie, I felt kind of awkward, like sitting by myself at a meal felt weird. And I felt like people were staring at me or judging me or looking at me weird. But the truth is, nobody's doing that. It's all in your head. And you going out and being able to spend time by yourself is preparing you to be of service to others and to show others that love. So all the love that you have within yourself, you will then be able to reflect and project to other people in your life.
So if you're able to show up with yourself every single day, take yourself out, invest in yourself, doing things for yourself is so powerful because you are tapping into the vibration of love and then you will be able to attract more people, more partners, more friendships that reflect that energy back to you. Moving on to my second tip and this is probably the most important tip that I have realized in my self-love journey and
And I have it written in my notes and it's strive for acceptance, not perfection. When it comes to self-love, a lot of people have a flawed viewpoint about it because they think that in order to love yourself, you have to love every single aspect of you, every single insecurity. And I honestly think that you're putting yourself, when you believe that and when I believe
that I was putting myself on an unattainable pedestal because there's just no way no matter what you do no matter how many affirmations you listen to you're gonna have certain insecurities or certain things about yourself that you're not as fond of and if like if I met someone who was like I have zero insecurities like I am a hundred percent perfect I like love myself to every single part of myself emotionally physically mentally spiritually I would be like okay you're a narcissist
Because there's just no way, like no matter how much inner work you do, like I would say that I'm someone who has a really good relationship with myself. I deeply love and accept myself. I love the person I am becoming. I'm authentic. I show up in my truth every single day.
But I would be lying if I said that I don't have moments where I'm feeling insecure or I don't have moments where I like don't like a certain part of myself or like emotionally I feel like there's things I need to work on because that is part of the self-love journey is accepting yourself as imperfect but loving yourself anyways. When you take away that unattainable limitation that says I have to love every single part of me in order for somebody else to love me or in order to be embodied in self-love, I have to accept
every single little insecurity that I have, then you will free yourself. Part of self-love, of truly being embodied in self-love, is understanding that the journey to self-love is not linear. You're going to have some days where you feel super in love with yourself, you feel super embodied, you feel super confident, and you're gonna have other days that you feel like shit. Like especially if you're a woman listening to this and you have a regular cycle, monthly cycle,
days before your period, like those are days that I feel less confident, less embodied, I feel more intuitive, I want to be more in my own space. When I'm ovulating, like you best know, I am the most confident, egotistical bitch out
there and I say that and like are confident not like in a mean way just like I have so much confidence I'm so inspired I'm so creative because that is just like how our hormones work our estrogen levels fluctuate and that affects our emotional relationships and how we feel about ourselves too so when you realize that that
the self-love journey is not linear, just like healing is not linear, and it's okay that you have some off days or some days where you're feeling super confident, you will free yourself of all these limitations or all these unattainable expectations. Strive for acceptance, not perfection. Accept yourself despite the days that you don't feel good, the days that you feel super insecure or unaligned, or
Work on awareness and acceptance rather than perfection and telling yourself, oh, I have to feel good this day because it's okay to have off days where you don't feel embodied fully in your self-love. And those are the days where you just need to be filling your own cup, tending to your own vibration and cultivating more awareness and acceptance for yourself. All right, on to tip number three. And this is more of like a physicality tip, like an actual habit that you can start implementing into your life.
but that is affirmations and EFT tapping each morning and each night. I'll explain why
what my personal ritual is. And then if this resonates with you, you can start implementing into your life. You can change it up. You don't have to do it at all if it doesn't resonate with you. But something that I do is I do EFT tapping every morning and every night for 10 minutes. If you don't know what EFT tapping is, I'm going to make a whole other episode just on this practice. But EFT stands for emotional freedom technique. It's
It's a subconscious practice that combines acupressure and affirmations that allows you to rewire your brain and create subconscious breakthroughs. The reason I like to do EFT specifically and not just affirmations is because EFT allows you to tap your body's energetic meridian points. And it has been one of the most powerful manifestation and up-leveling tools I've ever done in my entire life.
I still listen to affirmations every morning, like positive self-love affirmations. I really like Jason Stevenson on YouTube. I think he has a lot of different amazing audios for affirmations, but
Practicing EFT and like really taking your affirmations tangibly and then applying it through tapping and acupressure, you're creating this mind-body-spirit connection that is unlike no other. If you don't feel ready to start EFT tapping, and again, I'm going to make an entire other episode on this just like explaining in depth how to do EFT tapping, the guide, how the science works behind it. But just doing affirmations and listening to affirmations every morning is just as powerful to be honest as
I love to listen every morning right when you're awake because that is when your subconscious mind is most accessible. Your brainwaves are changing and it allows you to create a subconscious breakthrough. So listening to affirmations right when you wake up, first thing you do, maybe turning it on,
on your phone, listening with earbuds or on an Alexa or on your laptop, just listening to it as you go about your day doing mundane tasks. So like brushing your teeth, doing your skincare, making tea, making breakfast, doing the laundry allows your mind to like, you're doing this like conscious state of like you're doing an action, but in the mind version of it, you're listening to affirmations and that literally reprograms your subconscious
conscious mind to start affirming and identifying with those belief systems. There is so much, so much powerful research behind the power of affirmations. And by the way, I feel like I never mentioned this, but I do have an affirmations book. It's called Miracle Mantras. You can get it on Amazon worldwide. And it's a list of 111 affirmations. There's a ton of different topics like success, self-love, healing.
healing, guidance, like all these different topics that I love to work with. Like I'll just pull up my affirmations book and I'll just like turn to a page and I'll repeat the affirmation. Sometimes I'll write them down. Sometimes I'll just say them out loud. Sometimes I'll write them and stick them on my mirror. But just working with these different affirmations because the word I am is the most powerful sentence in the English language. It allows you to identify with that belief system
and literally rewire your entire brain. And it's crazy how powerful it is. Like if you started listening to affirmations 21 days in a row, I can tell you that your entire mind will change, your entire brain elasticity will change, your beliefs will change, your life will
up level. And if you're looking to do EFT tapping with affirmations, I really recommend Brad Yates or Melanie Moore on YouTube. They have a ton of different videos on EFT, not just for self-love. They are amazing mentors and have really helped me in my own journey. And I love to do their videos and their tapping. Number four.
Tip number four. I don't know why I just like burst out into songs. Sometimes I do that, guys. I feel like my personality has been coming out more and more on the podcast because a lot of the topics that we talk about are like serious, deep, spiritual topics. But I do have a very silly side to me that is very authentic that I'm trying to bring out more through my creative work.
So I hope it's been coming out for you guys. Okay, but tip number four for reals this time self-care Sundays and this is something that I swear by this is something that I started doing around two years ago that changed my life fun little story the way that I started doing this is I was actually walking around on the street and there was a crystal shop and outside the crystal store of
was a tarot reader and usually I don't go to like random tarot readers because I don't like to give my power away to random people to relay messages for me I just that's a whole other topic about like tarot readers and who you should trust and like psychics and stuff I'll definitely do an episode on that but
I was walking around and I liked that woman's energy and I was feeling called to ask her to pull a card for me. So I remember her pulling out the card and it was a card all about like, I'm out of balance and I need to rest and rejuvenate. And I was like, that is very interesting because at that time in my life, I was very much experiencing burnout. I was working a job that I hated. I was still in school. So I remember asking her, do you have any advice for me? Do you have any messages for me about that?
this current disalignment in my life. And she was saying, you might just need some self-care. She told me how she has this weekly ritual called self-care Sundays, where every Sunday for at least an hour, she takes an hour for herself, maybe sometimes more, to do self-care, whatever that means for her. So sometimes you'll go out, take a bath,
Maybe you'll do some skincare. Maybe you'll get your nails done. Maybe you'll invest in a massage. Maybe you'll journal and read. Maybe you'll watch like a warming TV show on Netflix like Gilmore Girls. I don't know. Whatever self-care means to you. But she was telling me, do self-care Sundays. And at the time, my burnt out, confused, unaligned self was looking at her and I was like,
she's genius. Like this woman is genius. Because how did I not think about like this concept of self care Sundays, I was always burnt out. And I wasn't dedicating any of my time to myself. I was constantly giving out energy and not receiving any back. And I think self care is directly correlated to self love. Because when you take time for yourself,
to take care of yourself, you are showing up for yourself with love and grace and you are gifting yourself the gift of love and time and ease and rest. And that is a beautiful thing that you can do for yourself, love. So I invite you to join me. I still do this to this day every Sunday. I invite you to join me every single Sunday. Dedicate
Minimum one hour to yourself to do something for you. Make it a ritual. Make it something exciting. Make it something that you look forward to every single week. You look forward to tending to your own vibration and filling up your own cup. I can guarantee you that this one simple habit, this one hour a week will change your life. Okay, rule number five.
Fun fact, guys, I used to take singing lessons. It didn't really go anywhere, as you can tell, because I'm awful. But rule number five, last rule of the day is stop with the negative self-talk. But for reals, okay? If you're listening to this episode right now, this is the biggest takeaway that you need to take.
No negative self-talk. I don't care how much you feel insecure or not confident or how unaligned or uninspired you feel. You do not ever tell yourself something negative about yourself and then utilize the words I am. I never want to hear anything come out of your mouth that's I am ugly. I am not worthy. I am not valid.
None of these words can come out of your mouth again. And do you want to know why? It's because I said this before and I'll say it again. I am is the most powerful phrase. Like when you say I am, you are directly telling your brain to associate that belief system with yourself and identify that with your personality and with your own self.
I know I sound like a mom right now, but under no circumstance can you continue negative self-talking yourself. That is a low vibrational thing and that is just tearing you apart. It's hindering your healing. It's delaying your growth and it's not allowing you to step into your higher self. Think about your highest self. How would they talk to themselves? How would they empower themselves and start showing up as her and
And the reason this tip, I mentioned this tip because it's super important, is because no negative self-talk doesn't mean that you necessarily have to like right away start believing that you're the most powerful magnetic human. Because I know, again, like I said, self-love is a journey and it takes baby steps. But negative self-talk is hindering your growth.
So if you can stop with the negative self-talk and reach a point of neutrality so you don't have to right away completely love yourself, 100% accept yourself, but you are also not willing to entertain any negative talk about yourself, you will not take yourself down, you will not bring your own vibration down. And if you can commit yourself
to telling yourself, okay, no matter how shitty I feel today, no matter how imperfect, no matter how unworthy I feel today, I will not say it out loud. I will not reaffirm that because I am not my thoughts. I am simply the one observing and experiencing them. So when you realize that your experiences...
and your thoughts, they are not you. You are a soul having a human experience. You are light. You are whole and complete on your own. And when you realize that all these negative self-talk and negative thoughts don't define you and they're not actually you, then you will stop identifying with them and giving them power. So this is the biggest takeaway that you can take. If you are just starting out your self-love journey, if you want to start learning how to embody yourself and your authenticity, stop with the negative self-talk.
Like under no circumstances, every time you hear yourself bringing yourself down, like if you're in front of the mirror and you're saying, oh my God, I look so ugly right now. I look so unworthy right now. I don't deserve this. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If you are saying that to yourself in front of the mirror or just in general, and you are aware to that and conscious of that, I invite you that every single time that that happens in order to reprogram your brain, like,
When that happens, you have to tell yourself three good things about yourself. So if you're telling yourself, I am ugly, then for three more times, you have to tell yourself, I'm beautiful, I'm gorgeous, I'm worthy. And you have to reaffirm that. And I don't care if you don't feel that way at first. I don't care if you don't mean it when you say it. You have to fake it till you make it. That is my biggest tip for self-love is you start with baby steps and you fake it till you make it. If you don't feel worthy or you don't feel beautiful or you don't feel confident, you
You start telling yourself that and you start showing up as your confident self until you actually embody that. Because the truth is, self-love is an ever-evolving journey. It's not something that happens overnight. But if you can have accountability and persistence for yourself, you will eventually get to a place where you feel whole and complete on your own. But it's going to have to take accountability. You have to be your biggest supporter.
You have to be your cheerleader. You have to be the one telling yourself these amazing things and empowering yourself, even if nobody around you is. Because you, this is your story, this is your life, and you are all you got. No matter how many people are in your life, no matter how many friends, you are the only permanent thing in your life. When you go to sleep every night, it's you with yourself.
It's you have to sleep with yourself every night. You have to deal with your thoughts. You have to deal with the person you are becoming. So you are the one who needs to be empowering you. You have to believe in yourself before somebody else believes in you. Beautiful souls, thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. As always, feel free to DM me on Instagram if you have any topic suggestions for future episodes or if you would like to apply to be a guest on the show. I hope you feel inspired to claim your power today. Bye.
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