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Hello and welcome to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things self-love, spirituality, and personal growth. I'm your host, Kim Peretz. I'm a three-time author, content creator, avid traveler, entrepreneur, and macho enthusiast. You are at the right place if you're ready to rediscover the love within, align with your purpose, and unleash your highest potential. It's time to claim your power.
Hello my friends and welcome back to the podcast. Today's episode is such an important one and I truly can't wait to get into it because I genuinely believe that so many of you guys are going to relate to what I'm going to talk about today.
And I just want to remind you that whether you're new to the show or you've been listening to the episodes for a while, I would love and be so grateful for you to support the show by leaving a review, by rating it, by sharing about the show on your stories and tagging me. It always makes me so happy to see and repost them. And it really motivates me to continue showing up and record these episodes every single week.
Also, if you don't already know, I have a free email list which you can join. I will leave it in the episode notes. Basically, if you want to hear more from me once a week, I don't spam you. I just send you a weekly email with an oracle deck reading, inspiration, wellness tips, anything that I've been going through that I want to share with you guys. It's a really fun way to connect with you guys and also just like to receive, you know, a fun email in your inbox once a week.
So if you want to join it, it's completely free. It's an amazing resource. I'll leave it in the episode notes and all you have to do is fill out your name and then you're going to start getting emails automatically for me. So without further ado, let's dive into today's episode. So today I want to talk about the whole idea of triggers and why triggers are actually opportunities for growth.
And the reason that I wanted to film this episode is I've actually found myself in the past couple of weeks getting really, really triggered by things that I thought I've already let go, I've already moved forward from, and I find them coming back around on a deeper perspective and
And I also got a lot of messages from you guys on Instagram saying like how the full moon has really triggered you and has really affected you and you're feeling drained and tired and maybe you just feel like a lot of things are piling up emotionally for you. So today I want to offer another perspective when it comes to triggers and offer you a lot of love and support throughout these times because I find that usually in the winter, you
that is when you find yourself doing a lot of inner work. And if you think about it from a nature perspective, nothing in nature blooms all year round, right? Like even there's flowers in winter that don't bloom and then spring comes around and they have their roots and they're able to flourish again.
And we are all part of nature. We are cyclical beings. So we also have phases and periods of our lives where we are going more inward, when we're getting more triggered, when we're doing more inner work so that we can assimilate and integrate that and we can thrive at a later point. So let me start off by saying that if you're feeling triggered recently in your life, you
It is completely normal. We are on the cusp, on the peak of winter, okay? All the animals are hibernating right now. It's cold. It's chilly. We are feeling like we want to go inward a lot and be more introspective and that is completely normal. So first off, let me just put that out there. It is normal to feel triggered. It is normal to feel pain and all of these parts of you are necessary to your growth and to your evolution, okay?
And today I want to offer a different perspective that says that triggers are actually your opportunity for immense growth. I think so many of us, when we get triggered, we start seeing it as like a black or white, all or nothing mentality. Like if someone triggers us from something on the past that we thought we healed from and then we don't respond in the highest way or the highest form, we start having a lot of self-shame and self-criticism and saying, okay, maybe we didn't move on from this. Maybe we are stuck in the past.
And I'm here to tell you that your triggers are coming up because they are showing you the small tweaks of yourself that still need healing, that still need love. They're not coming up to shame you, to show you how far you haven't come. They're coming up to show you how far you did come, how far you have gone on your path. They're showing you an opportunity to even get to know yourself on a deeper level.
our human experience is not linear. It's more like an inward spiral where we're constantly going and diving deeper and like an onion, unpeeling the layers of ourselves. It is completely normal to get triggered even from things that you thought you healed from. That is just showing you where you might have some more love and some more work to do on yourself.
Do not run away from your triggers. Do not shame yourself for getting triggered. Love yourself and bless your triggers. I actually saw another creator talking about this concept on TikTok. I wish I remembered her name. She was on my For You page, but she was basically talking about like the cycle of healing and how healing is 90% awareness and 10% triggers.
Meaning that 90% we have healed through something when we become aware to it. When we have awareness to something, it no longer controls us. It no longer has power over us because we have become aware to it. That's 90%.
But the 10% is actually the triggers coming up and giving us an opportunity to see that pattern, to see that belief, to see that trigger in front of our eyes and to respond differently. And so we can't truly heal something unless it scratches the surface again, unless it triggers us again, makes us feel the same way, and then we choose to respond differently. When we change our response, the things around us and the people around us change.
And this is why I say bless your triggers because when your trigger is coming up, that's also the universe sending you an opportunity to heal and to level up and to respond differently.
And another lens that I also like to look at it is when you are actually changing as a person, when you are evolving, when you are growing and stepping into a higher version of yourself, there's going to be that old version of you. Okay, it's 111 on the clock. So this is confirmed. This is an important message to say to you guys.
But there is an older version of you, the past version of you, that's going to try really hard to hold on to your old ways, to your old thoughts, to your old patterns. There's going to be that ego or that old version of you that's actually going to come out and get triggered in order to protect you, in order to hold on. And that's when you need to realize is when you get triggered, you are on the cusp of so much transformation and so much healing.
Because if you weren't about to level up and change into a higher version of yourself, then the old you, your ego, wouldn't constantly be trying to hold on. Wouldn't be constantly trying to hold on to the past, to hold on to what happened, to what they did to you, to who hurt you, to how you felt, da-da-da.
your ego wouldn't be doing that if it didn't feel as if it's losing its power over you. And you have to recognize that, that sometimes your old self, there are infinite versions of you. Meaning there's the version of you that was a baby. There's the version of you that was three years old. The version of you that was 10. That was 11. That was 15. That was 18. That was 20. That was 25. Whatever, how old you are. There are
infinite versions of you. And so all of these versions of you have different perspectives, have different triggers, have different patterns, belief, and different point of views on your life and your reality.
And so when you start to disconnect from an old version of yourself and enter a higher version of yourself, you're going to start seeing that old version of yourself triggering the shit out of you because it's trying so hard to hold on to the past, to the old you. It's kind of
like that one family member that one friend who's like really stuck on the old you and will always bring up oh you used to be like this this is what you used to do you know that one person in your life that constantly does that as a way to bring you down that's basically what happens in that moment when you get triggered and your old self comes out to play when that happens to you you have to congratulate yourself and
Because you wouldn't be getting triggered if you've got that 90% of the way down already. The trigger wouldn't be coming up. The trigger is coming up for you so that you can actually recognize where there's still a part of you that's holding on, where there's still a part of you that is giving away your power, that's responding not in the way that you want to, and it's giving you an opportunity to shift that.
So I want to give you an example of a trigger in my life that I noticed because I want to show you that you're not alone and it's okay to have these triggers. We all are having them. It's part of the human experience.
But basically I won't get too much into it because it is like my life and my experience but I did find myself in a situation in the past where I fell for a narcissist and that Caused so many triggers so much trauma emotionally for me. I really lacked self-worth. I lacked boundaries I was a people pleaser. I
I had this deep fear of being vulnerable because I felt that when I showcased love to this person, when I showcased my appreciation for this person, then they would actually take that for granted. They would shut me out. They would shame me. They would push me away. They would treat me very poorly. And so I had developed this old limiting belief that if I show a man love,
if I show a man support and admiration, that's actually going to end up pushing them away. That's going to end up me being perceived as weak and vulnerable and unworthy. And so it led me to believe that if I show any signs of vulnerability or affection with a man, then I'm going to get pushed away. I'm going to get walked all over. I'm going to get treated like shit.
And so I went from being the girl who was very vulnerable, who was very open, who was very naive to the other side of the extreme, to the girl who was very passive, who was very cold, who was this fear of vulnerability and this fear of getting hurt again. And so I went through like a very big healing journey with that trigger, with that pattern, reminding myself that I can show vulnerability without that fear of getting hurt again because I will never,
be in that situation again. I will never experience that relationship again because I have the awareness. I know what narcissists are now. I know how to recognize them. I know my worth enough. I see my value enough to the point where if I would ever find myself in a situation like that with a man, I wouldn't
be afraid to walk away. And so I went through this deep healing journey of reminding myself like, no, Kim, I got you. Even if someone treated you like that, I am not the old Kim anymore who is vulnerable, who is naive, who puts herself in those positions. I'm the type of Kim that even if I get rejected, even if someone pushes me away, even if someone treats me poorly, I know this has nothing to do with my value and I can protect myself. I can take care of myself. Like
I take care of that old version of me who didn't have any support, who felt stuck and vulnerable and trapped. And I feel like 95% I have healed this wound. I feel like this wound doesn't control my day-to-day life. It doesn't control my thoughts, how I feel about myself anymore. That is an old version of me and that is an old experience. It was a karmic experience that I had to go through and that I had also taught me so much about myself and that awakened a big strength within me.
But the other day I had found a moment where I found myself getting triggered and feeling the exact same way that that old version of me felt like. I had felt a sense of shame and guilt and fear of vulnerability in that moment and I
the people who triggered that emotion for me, it has nothing to do with them. They just came into my life to trigger that. And I recognized that, that it was a reflection of me and a mirror of me. And I felt like the universe sent me that experience to show me, okay, Kim, here's maybe a different angle and a part of you that maybe you haven't fully looked at and you haven't fully healed. And here's your opportunity to heal it so that you no longer carry it anymore.
And so what did I do? I felt the trigger. I felt the emotion. I let myself be in that space.
And then I started to form a dialogue with my old self and I started to tell myself, okay, old self, old Kim, what are you trying to show me right now? Why did you come back? What are you trying to tell me? What is something that I may be missing that I may be still holding onto and how can I release it? And then I journaled about it. I journaled about my feelings and I also journaled about how I want to respond to this trigger from now on. Because the thing is, there's always going to be like
subconsciously parts of us that are lingering around because that's part of our human experience. We have infinite versions of ourselves. But just because those versions of ourselves exist in the quantum field doesn't mean that we have to give those versions of ourselves our power or energy anymore. And so I really came back to my body, to my space, to my emotions and my heart. And I re-reminded myself, Kim,
you are so worthy. You are so amazing. You don't have to hold on to this fear anymore. Thank you fear for coming up and trying to protect me, but you don't have to hold on to this fear anymore. You can let your guard down and know that you are strong enough. You are capable enough. You love yourself enough to not experience that situation again. You are strong enough to know that the right people in your life will reciprocate your loving energy. You don't need to be cold. You don't need to be passive all the time in order to protect
yourself, you can open your heart to all people, to love, to friendships, to everyone, regardless of the way other people treated you, regardless of the way other people hurt you, because your life is worthy of all those amazing things and you should not let the past or the way other people treated you actually deprive you of experiencing the amazing love and amazing friendships and amazing experiences that you are truly worthy of.
And that's something that I had to tell myself and re-remind myself of like, I don't need to hold onto this fear. I don't need to hold onto this trigger because these triggers come up also as a protective mechanism. They're coming up as a coping mechanism to protect you from getting hurt again, to protect you from feeling the same way that you felt again. And what you have to do in those moments is remind yourself
You are not the past version of yourself anymore. You are not them anymore. You are wiser. You are stronger. And you know yourself better now to the point where you can pick yourself up. You can support yourself even if that old version of yourself was trapped and didn't have that support. You show up for that old version of yourself now and give her that hug and give her that support. And so this is something that I really invite you to start doing in your own life.
When you find a trigger coming up, don't run away from it. See it as a blessing. See it as a gift. Because if you weren't such a high soul, if you weren't such a soul that was open and receptive to learning and growing, then these triggers wouldn't be coming up. You would just be a miserable person all around.
but these triggers are coming up to show you tweaks and parts of yourself that still need more love and support. And so instead of running away from them and avoiding them, I encourage you to bless them and I encourage you to embrace them because if you don't look at your trigger in the eye and you avoid it and you ignore it, then it's gonna keep coming up
time and time again until you make peace with it. Our triggers come up to reflect our pain, to reflect our limiting beliefs, to reflect past subconscious memories. And so I want to share with you like some common triggers that a lot of people go through that I've had, that some of my friends had, that I'm sure you will relate to some of these and what those triggers actually might be pointing to what you might need to heal from. And so I encourage you to
see the trigger and if you relate to one of these triggers to journal about it later to really go deeper into it because that trigger is coming up for you so that you can release it and fully heal it. So if you find yourself getting triggered by someone leaving your life or not seeing your value then you might have
a trigger around abandonment and rejection. That's something, for instance, that I had that I had to work through. So I encourage you to focus on that whole topic and really dive deep into that when it comes to yourself. If you often get triggered when it comes to money and finances, then the parts of yourself that you need to work on is like the scarcity mindset and the whole money mindset. That's a part of yourself.
if you often get triggered by not feeling worthy enough or good enough then maybe you had a part of yourself that felt like they had to perform or earn love and so that's where you want to pose put your energy on and work on that if you get triggered by like a lot of like loud
noises or like get overwhelmed and anxious maybe you had periods in your life where you grew up in chaotic environments and so that is something that triggers you and you want to work on so these are just like a few examples because these are just some things that like have come to mind for me but
But there are tons of other things that we get triggered by and our triggers are actually showing us a part of like a bigger picture and a bigger wound that we have that we can work on. And again, 90% of the work is the awareness. The fact that you are willing to look at yourself and look at your triggers is more than enough. Even if that healing journey doesn't happen overnight, even if you still respond in a
that's still okay because the fact that you have awareness to it and the fact that you want to change it and work on it is more than enough. And so when it comes to triggers, I really encourage you to have more self-compassion, to be gentle with yourself because the harshness and the criticism, the universe doesn't look at you like that.
You look at yourself like that. The universe sees you as its golden child. It sees you as beautiful and worthy in every single phase of your life. And that is how you have to start viewing yourself in those moments too. So even if you're someone who does the inner work, you're still human. So you will still have moments that sometimes you will act in ways that maybe you're not so proud of. Or sometimes you will have moments where you will withdraw or become reactives when you get your feelings hurt. Or sometimes you will have moments where you feel triggered for reasons that
aren't really logical to you or you forget to use your coping skills and your energy skills or you might say something hurtful to somebody else or you have a hard time opening up or you struggle to set that boundary with that person. I mean there are so many things and that's part of being human so don't be so hard on yourself.
Be super super gentle with yourself in a sense that like you're not you know Delusional in the sense that you don't do any inner work and you think you're perfect But be gentle with yourself in the way that you know This is all a human experience and you're learning and growing as you go and that's valid So here are some things that I encourage you I want to end this episode by giving you like a little toolkit of things you can do when you get triggered This is something that i've been implementing into my life that I think will also help you guys
And so when you find yourself getting triggered about a certain person or a situation or a thought in your life,
I invite you to take a couple of deep breaths. Our breath is our life force and allows us to soothe our nervous system in that moment. And in that moment, notice your sensation. Notice how you feel. Notice that feeling and get really present with that feeling. So let's say you're feeling angry or you're feeling rejected. Then that moment, don't try to be like, oh, I shouldn't feel this way. Tell yourself, I feel rejected right now. I feel angry right now. And that is okay because I deeply love and accept myself anyway.
And remind yourself that you are not the past. You are not the future. You are here in that moment. And right now, you are experiencing that feeling and you're not going to judge yourself for it. You're not going to judge yourself for feeling that emotion, for feeling that triggered. You're just going to ask yourself, how can I support myself right now?
If I'm feeling like this, imagine it's like your baby, your child. If they were feeling angry, if they were feeling rejected, then you wouldn't now be shaming them for how they feel. You wouldn't be ignoring them. You would probably give them a hug and ask them how you can support them and be there for them in that moment.
That is what you need to do for yourself in those moments when you get triggered. You need to reparent yourself. You need to show up for yourself in the way that your most comfort person would show up for you in that moment. That is how you show up for yourself. So I'll end this episode by sharing a quote that I found on Pinterest about triggers.
Feeling triggered is a gift from your subconscious and from your inner self. It is telling you that there is something left that isn't healed. And your first step is to identify this trigger, then heal, accept, and release it with love. Beautiful souls, thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. As always, I will talk to you next week. Bye!