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Hello. Hello. Welcome. Why is this song not called Hat Chat? I'm sorry the song's not called Hat Chat, Rav. There's so many. Who is our special guest for this episode. Welcome to the Hat Chat podcast. I'm Chris Trott. I'm Ross Holmby. I'm Ravs. Just Ravs. Just Ravs. And I'm Alex Smith. Thanks to Dream State Empire for that song. Thank you. Is that a new song every week?

Yeah, we get a new Fingal every week. That's true. A Fingal. They're quite often based around the Hatton films theme. I think you guys told me this last time. You've been here before. Yeah, I think you told me this last time. It's been a while. He has been here before. I've got no memory of this place. It's a long time ago, to be fair. But we've changed our format a little bit. We used to have hypotheticals.

Okay. Now we just chat shit. Now we just chat shit. I like that. Which is kind of what we did before. We did do that before. Sometimes we talk about what's in the weird news. Okay. Yeah, like, you know, it's like weird things. Sometimes Ross says some weird things. Yeah, sometimes. Obviously there's a lot of horrible things in the news. Oh, yeah. Especially right now, like the bombing of civilians and stuff. Well, don't bring it down. Yeah, well, we really look at stuff like, guy gets stuck in clay pot. Did you see that guy get stuck in that pot? His knees were... Hell!

me and his knees are too far in yeah I think I saw that it was at like a party and he was lying down and he'd stuck himself in a ceramic pot and people were kind of like are you okay it looked like a bit it did it was just like he was taking the piss but he was genuinely stuck which is hilarious a joke at the beginning uh

Are they going to have to? I don't know. It's still in there. I've not figured out if they're going to crack it yet. Kind of like the extreme Buddhist monks that used to... Yeah, encase themselves. Is it one of those priceless clay pots? Is that why they're having the conundrum? Is this man's wave warfare? This is a Ming vase. I don't know if we should break it. Oh, not a Ming vase. It's like how they say that they should put the nuclear codes in the body of a living person so that when the president makes a decision to nuke someone, he has to kill someone to know what it feels like.

in order to get the codes out. I feel like if you were a president or whatever, would you not just be like, listen, Secret Service, get me a random homeless man? Your initial thought is to go and kidnap someone off the street. Give me a prisoner that's on death row.

Well, yeah, that's probably more suitable. A homeless person. A little dehumanising, but a person who's done something absolutely fucking terrible. You've chosen someone who has nothing but tragedies. I changed the prisoner. I changed the prisoner. A prisoner and a hammer. So that we can build a little house together. A nice little commune. I don't know if that sounds like slavery. No, togetherness. If they do a good job, then they'll be free.

Right, well that sounds like that's exactly what it is. Yeah, wow. Oh my god. The wife that they know as a prisoner and they'll be free to be a new man. Jesus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a savage person. Yeah, but I think that's a good idea. Which part? Some of it. Some of what he said was a good idea. Find someone that's done something awful and be homeless. And then. That is a tragedy. Hold on hard times. Make it even harder. Not like that.

By making nuclear codes, slicing a little slice in the side of a pineapple, pushing the code into that slice, then pushing the pineapple up the arse of the person. Oh, yeah. It was in Little Nicky.

I always remember the bit where he's supposed to be a part of it. Surely the president needs to kill like a family member, someone dear to them. Yeah, that's the point. Rather than like a secret agent or whatever because it's just like, that's just easy. Yeah. Because they don't know them necessarily. Isn't a pineapple like got tons of little pines in it? No, that's exactly what it is. It makes you hurt and stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean the spiky parts? The little spiky parts. No, no, no, not the fruit bit. Like the bit that you eat is like got all these tiny little needles. No. It might. It might.

Have you eaten enough pineapple your mouth starts hurting? That's because it's got an acid in it that breaks down. But are you going to shove that up your arse? Yeah, but you're not going to peel it. But also just the outside of a pineapple would be awful to try and get up your arse. That's the main issue. I'm not worried about... I'm talking about the enters. It doesn't matter how big it is. It's still going to be spiky.

You know, that's going to be traumatising, but also what's that acid going to do to the innards of your anal lining? Really, not a lot of good. Not a lot of good. That's why you can tenderise meat with pineapple juice. That's why if you leave meat in pineapple juice for a couple of hours before you cook it, it'll be a lot more tender. Is it a good chemical peel as well? It probably is. I mean, I wouldn't say good. It's not good.

I think the acid in it breaks down like proteins or something. It breaks down like your mouth lining, breaks down meats. I think that's correct. And we're going to put that as scientific fact and move along. Okay. All right, let's talk about something else. What else is going on? What's been going on in your life, Rav? Yeah, Rav, you tell us.

Not a lot really. Be as broad as you can. What's going on in your life? Just like you know doing some therapy that's fun and I'm also like recording some YouTube videos that I'm streaming and I was trying to do dry January but we fucked that for a friend's birthday. Oh no. Yeah so it's now damp January. Damp. Drizzle January yeah. So when you broke did you just keep drinking or did you just keep it to that one night?

It was like a three day affair because they were over from Dublin so you know. Making the most of it. Yeah, had a couple of drinkles but now I'm like no more drinking. You can name drop him.

It's Paul Fogg. Paul Choi. It's Paul Choi. He's a bad influence. He's a bad influence on everyone. He's been in all Vegas vlogs. You saw him in the vlogs. Oh, yeah. He's in it very little, but... Those vlogs. Yeah, he made an impact. He's a fun guy. He's a fun guy to hang out with. Yeah. Makes you want to do fun things. Mm-hmm. Like drink. Well, Quetcon this year, Rotterdam. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was announced. You guys going to get naughty in the rotty? I feel like you just made that up now.

I've not heard that term before naughty in the rotty I even tweeted it getting grotty in rotty getting grotty in rotty getting grotty in rotty getting grotty in rotty rather than I guess naughty in rotty it's like June 29th 30th or something like that that would be nice in summary yeah

Yeah, they emailed us about it recently, the Twitch con. It is also Twitch con, though. Yeah, well, we can just go for one day. This time, we don't buy the whole weekend. We buy a single day ticket. I think that's what we did for Vegas, though, right? I think we bought all three. We went there for like an hour or two. We went there for an hour and a half. Oh, we did buy the whole weekend. Oh, we did buy the whole weekend. I don't know why, but we did. I think that should be a message to anyone who's thinking of going. It is shit.

it's like it's the con is kind of the worst part it's the worst part of it's the fun part is like everything else it's nice to do the meet up part you know to meet people and like have a quick peek around the floor but after that it's just like all right let's go get fucked up yeah let's go have a party it's also a perspective thing right like we are streamers and creators whereas there's people that want to meet up in the community and

Of course, it's good for that. The con itself, the physical makeup of the con is like any other convention. If you don't like conventions, you're probably not going to like TwitchCon. It's all the same stuff, basically. I get it. It's to meet up with people that you wouldn't usually see. Exactly right. Like Amaranth.

Like Amaranth. Nice piccy. You did get to see Amaranth. I wasn't standing next to her. Somebody thought she was a mannequin. From the video they thought she was just a mannequin. They thought she was like a waxwork. It was very strange to see her. Is there any streamers in Madame Toussaint's wax thing yet? There's got to be. You think? There's got to be. There's got to be like a ninja in there. Zoella was in one. I think there is. Really? Yeah. Oh shit, okay. I'm pretty sure. I don't know if they kept that up for all

all the streamers and stuff I don't know I just think it's oh there's got to be a Mr. Beast there's got to be a ninja hasn't there there's got to be a probably a PewDiePie I reckon he was done years ago yeah

Probably. Probably, yeah. Yeah. You'd think so. He's been pretty big for some time. Yeah. Yeah, before he saw. Yeah, anyway. I think it'd be fun, though, like convention, just like all hanging out, having a good time. I really enjoyed them back in the day when we used to go to the insomnia ones, the really early insomnia ones that like stayed up, stayed open until like, we played board games at one point. Yeah. Like 3 a.m. in the morning.

And like they had like food places open really, really late. And I managed to, I remember get like a crumble. I remember going to one of these little trucks that had this really nice apple crumble and custard at like 3 a.m. playing these board games. And I was like, this is awesome. This is, I would go to this. This is like spending three days hanging out with your mates,

doing the stuff you do in the evenings on your computer basically but in person and that was really cool and then since then it's just got worse and worse where it's not really about staying up and hanging around with people all the evening it's like come in do the stands buy the stuff see the thing get out you know and also with Twitch

most recently I noticed that I saw more people with partner badges than just regular people coming to see partners and you realise you're probably they charge us for tickets now you don't even get a partner discount anymore no we used to get like £80 off and now it's just like you pay regular price

And bear in mind, they already take, you know, 30% at least of your revenue every month. So, like, you're making them a fair bit of money and they don't feel like they're fit to... And you're the draw for the Twitch con as well. And then you're the draw for people. And then you look around and realise, like, no, no, you're the one, you're the ticket buyer. You've essentially been duped into buying a ticket now because... I guess you could argue...

the people that buy units and stands there, they also have to pay to be there. So it's not like it's much different. I guess we're not selling it. True, but advertising makes a lot of cost. So it's more like a trade show then, really, isn't it? In a way. Than a convention. It does go that way, doesn't it? Connecting creators who use the tech to the companies that, like...

if somebody said to us hey we're gonna start a con a bit like ces but smaller and targeted at content creators where we'll have a bunch of the kind of camera providers you use a bunch of the hardware providers you use software people you can come talk to them build relationships start brand deals that sounds great but essentially we're in this weird halfway house of a twitchcon

like doesn't know what it is and it was like a couple of cool stands there i will say like road was there yeah and they had some really cool tech and like twitch focus but it's down to the individual brands right to like make a cool yeah cool stand there i'm one we should we should make a con con yeah should we make our own con con it's called con con right where everything is a con so you're being conned as you as you step into the door they take you they shake your hand take your watch welcome to the con and then they always say with a wry smile

Welcome to the con. Is it the con? Oh, not the convention. Gotcha. Come on in, asshole. But going back to Rostam and the fun things, obviously it's an interesting city. I've never been there. It looks nice. It's more the fact that they move around, and I think that's cool. Amsterdam was awesome. I enjoyed Amsterdam. And the Netherlands is so flat. Just walking around is so easy. You just wander around the town. Yeah, it's good. It's good. They cycle everywhere. Yeah.

Not like Bristol, when you've got to psych yourself up for Park Street, you get to the top, you've got to change your clothes. Yeah, fuck that. When I was moving here, I was like, I'm not living at the top of Park Street, there's no way. I will not do it. It's a great place on the triangle. No, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Yeah.

It's a hazard with the icy conditions right now as well. Oh, sure is, Christopher. It's a hazard out there. You can say it with a Minnesotan accent. I can't do those. I can't do that either. I've been watching Fargo recently. I love Fargo. Good fucking show. Yeah, yeah. I've not seen the latest season. I've watched that one at the moment. It's really good.

Yeah. No, they're both great shows. Very similar, actually. Is there a new one? Because I've not seen the... Is it the Crash Rock season? Oh, that's the new, new one, I think. I'm watching the Jon Hamm one. Oh, yeah. Jon Hamm one's good. And the woman that is in Ted Lasso, who plays...

She owns a brand agency. She plays the girlfriend of Jamie Tarr or whatever. She's British? Yeah. Keely's in Fargo. What? She's like the main protagonist. I fucking hate to turn Ted Lasso. Juno Temple. She's really good in there. Grating, I guess. No one's that bubbly. That's the character. So they played it well. Although, looking at her...

Other stuff outside of acting She is that character as well In a way She's very outgoing and bubbly And yeah A lot of people stan her for that reason Slay queen Slay queen Slay bestie Serve cunt That's what they say now right They say serve cunt, serving cunt That's a thing yeah it's like a slay term

Is it for your serving a look? That look is like, don't fuck with me because I'm a cunt. No, no, it's like you're serving, I guess, I don't know if that's what the meaning behind it is. It's like you're serving cunt on a platter. I think it is. I don't know. I've seen it in a bunch of Instagram comments. It's quite promiscuous. So, you know. Jesus Christ. I'm hoping it's not like, you know, some fucking Instagram comment or like Bob's in Virginia, like serve cunt or something. I hope I'm not misinterpreting.

You may have done. But yeah, before I start using that term colloquially, all the time I'm going to... Apparently it stands for charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent. Oh, okay. It is like a power. Okay, I like that. It's like powerful. But it doesn't sound like that. It doesn't. You need to know the code to understand it. That's very exclusionary.

Everyone should have to say it to their mothers first. Yeah, yeah. Before they say it in public. We'll see what happens. Wow, Mum, you're really serving cunt today. I was like, whoa. Which means charisma, uniqueness. Just so you know. Oh, before you get mad, and I know you're going to go fucking nuts. It's a great acronym, actually. You just don't know, you stupid cunt. And I don't mean the acronym this time.

Yeah, it seems really useful, that one. You're so welcome. Therapy. He's just serving cup. Therapies is a big deal. Yeah, it is. Therapy is an important thing to do, and I think film should do couples therapy. I think that'd be interesting. Like a throuple therapy. Do you think you could convince a therapist to do a video of you guys doing a couples therapy, like a group thing? I think that would probably demean the idea. It might do. Although there is a show, isn't there? It's kind of a private thing. It's literally a couples therapy show.

on is it BBC 3 somewhere or something like that where it's very yeah very stern and very solemn that reeks of shit they're like tell them to make this up for the TV it's gotta be a good show I think it's dramatised it's gotta be and prodded by the I don't know because yeah it's for sure I think it's just called Couples Therapy oh maybe yeah is it real

It was meant to be real. As in, like, is it real? It seems real, but it could just be, yeah. Couples therapy. Is it a documentary series following couples as they seek help of psychoanalyst Dr. Orna? Is it Squid Game-esque? So, like, the losing couple. Dies. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know.

you didn't therapy hard enough how deep do they go on camera do you know what I mean yeah true enough well I mean just saying that you know Big Brother and stuff people are more than willing to yeah but all that stuff does still still stage doesn't it yeah because it feels like any reality show now is just what's the real reason they're going they're not going to Love Island to find love yeah they're not really not

They're just not. They know that it's going to boost their Instagram profile. Yeah, they want some Instagram brand deals. They want to sell like a fucking toothbrush or some shit. You know what I mean? Maybe it's those kind of people. Those kind of people looking for a profile and to boost their...

but also looking for love. I don't think there's any love in there. Well, they're looking for like-minded people who are willing to go to an island and be on TV. That's a very specific niche that you can't find on an app. If they find love, good for them. But I reckon most of them are not really bothered about that part. They're all about the social media element. It's cynical, but I think it's also just... But it's all the producers that are doing it. I feel like they're all going to end up a fair play later in their lives. True. They probably will need it. They probably should definitely get in. Yeah.

I think it's worth doing though. I didn't know what to expect. I went cause I like, you know, I felt like I had a lot of burnout way around. It seemed like for the past two years in September, I feel burnt out as hell. Have you noticed the YouTuber burnout? The, the, the, I'm leaving. Yeah. Except I'm not really leaving. Here's my second channel.

you know what I mean I've seen that on a lot of people Tom Scott's got a second channel hasn't he I thought he was just going to leave I think he does a second channel as well doesn't he I could be right it's over but not really over he's just not it's soft retiring to get the views on the I'm quitting oh okay we've gone for that I don't think they need to because all of them will get millions of views anyway

So I don't think that's like... But also they are also in like insanely unhealthy work cycles. Yeah. Tom Scott, I'm going to make a video every day like that. It's insane. I think that was Tom Scott's thing. He's like, he's released a video every week. Yeah. His stuff is like really well done. Yeah. Like takes a lot of research and time to make that. But it does create burnout. You're right. It does. And you've actually taken that step, which a lot of us haven't. Yeah. Well, I was just like, my God.

usually I can just like, I'll be better in a bit. I'll just go through this. But this time I was like, oh, this is like really bad. This is like, I don't want to get out of my bed bad. And I was just like, all right. Someone in chat was like, try therapy. And I was like, okay. Thanks. Thanks. Thank you, chat. Shout out to Ted. There you go. I just, his message. I was like,

Yeah, he's right. He's right, I should. And I just went and it's been pretty good. You've got to have the right kind of therapy as well. Like I had CBT back in the day. Cock and ball torture. Cock and ball torture, which raps immediately. Like I said this to Raps earlier off and he was immediately like, oh, cock and ball torture. Yeah. I'm going to get where my brain goes through with that. Cognitive behaviour therapy, no, no, no. Cock and ball torture. Ideally, you're looking for the same thing. But yeah, that's quite a... It wasn't really fixing my issue. I went in with like...

an idea of like hopefully having like a talking therapy kind of thing and just having a generalized let's just figure this out but instead it's like no let's focus on a specific category of a thing that you want to get better at

And then it's kind of like steps to making that better by exposing yourself to the thing. Kind of like getting over a phobia, right? It's like you've got to start with a tiny little spider in a different room or a picture of a spider and it will work up to an actual spider. Because I didn't know what it is. I just always assumed that you sit in a chair and there's like a million flashing lights and you're healed. It's not orange. You're healed. Your eyes would be forced open. If only it was that simple. You'd be screaming in a chair. Ah!

Yeah, CBT is really good if you know you have a very specific thing that is impenetrable for you alone to get past. Like a lot of people get it for social anxiety. It's like I'm in a crowd of people. I just want to run away from people. So you go to CBT to like specifically work on that. But I think there's also the issue of those things can come out of other underlying issues as well.

that probably needs more talkie therapy to figure out. A lot of things are all linked together, aren't they? Yeah, I go in every week. I don't know what I'm going to talk about. Even on my first session, I was like, I don't know what the hell I'm going to say to this person. And I guess they're trained to get shit out of you because that's like 10 minutes in and I'm like... Just saying all this shit, you know? Why are you speaking gibberish? Do you ever just try and freeze them out? Just wait.

Oh, no, because I'm usually quite... The thing is, obviously streamers are kind of trained to just keep talking regardless. I think that... You just do it. Yeah, exactly. So you fill the air. Maybe that's like a streamery type thing. Maybe that's not a good thing. I don't know. I think there must be some sort of science to that because I feel uncomfortable when we stop talking and they're just like, yeah. And I'm like...

I think that... I've got a tiny penis. Let's get into that. Let's talk about that further. Let's talk about that. Let's get... It's really small. Oh, shit. I really didn't want to get into this. That's all I've got on my mind. Oh, shit. I fucking just came up. There's definitely a technique to it. I think it's what Louis Theroux uses as well. He uses a lot of silence to...

the other person to keep going and not that it's like insidious in any way but I think it's just effective and also you can cut people off easily in terms of I just did it then you can cut people off and stop the information from flowing from someone because that's what we learned doing documentaries at uni let them tell the story yeah and they have to fucking edit it with like hours and hours of footage afterwards

It's a nightmare. But yeah, it's just nice talking about it. I walk away from it. They don't really give advice. They just kind of help you explain or say why this is a thing or help you understand your core values and stuff like that. I just walk away like, I got to chat shit for an hour and they can never repeat it to another human being. And that's cool. It feels nice. Even if you did a crime? I think there is. If you do a crime where you're going to put yourself in harm, they can. They have to. Yeah, they hit the big red button. Yeah.

And then the police are knocking on the window constantly whilst we're in there, just waiting to come in. She told me it was confidential. And then she hits the red button and the window's open. It's overwhelmed by police dogs. Got another pervert, guys. He's got it over him. Release the hound. Catching criminals and pervs.

I've seen Sopranos so I pretty much know therapy that's what I thought it was going to be like they even asked do you want to lie down on like the did they yeah yeah they actually asked that there was like the long the long trope the chaise longue yeah the chaise longue was there you can lie down if you want or you can sit and I was like I can go sit I feel like it's just I didn't want to be in the stereotype it's too disarming lying down yeah they might go for you the dogs might jump over and also yeah

You want to be ready with the hands. That chaise longue just keeps you up the second you say anything wrong. Is this a hinged or sprung chaise longue? Nice try, bitch.

You'll never catch me alive, John. Okay, sit down, Mr. Ravs. Nice try, bitch. She knows too much. Wow, you are extremely hostile. We're going to need more sessions. Let's start with your extreme paranoia. Yeah, that'll be the beginning. How many knives do you have on you? 17. Technically, they're all legal.

It's all taped together. Yeah. I recommend it. It's fun. It's fun and nice. I'm going to take you up on that recommendation, Raps. Thank you. You're very welcome. You're like that person in chat that's pushed you and now I'm going to go as well. I'm glad. Maybe.

Maybe people are going to think I'm starting a cult if I'm getting people to go though. I don't think therapy is a cult. No, it's not. It's a very good thing for you. I think it is a good thing. If you can afford it, it's expensive. It is expensive. You can either wait on the NHS for years and you may not end up with the person that you want and you're worried about losing your place in the queue so switching up people might not be

a good thing but pay to win pay to win i got very lucky on my first one battle pass yeah yeah level 14 in my battle pass a couple more sessions i get peter griffin skin your therapy's been gamified yeah i'd say they really do know you i said i need a battle pass like first things first my dick's very good i need a battle pass i need a little gold star every time i come in yeah

yeah give me goals milestones and XP actually my next P and maybe some features can we just turn on this fake camera for red light just to make me feel like I'm making content you know just could you just type in my chat give me a little response you just end up saying oh you're talking to me no no could you type in this chat please you're so inspirational king yeah

Thank you. You're really serving cunt. I'm going to give you 50 quid. If you could every now and then give me five quid and say thank you for the sub. You're so dysfunctional. You're so dysfunctional. You are. I think we need to talk about this. This construct you've created for yourself. Sorry, Donald Wald. Donald Wald. Donald Wald. Oh, shit.

I don't know any of this lingo, this Twitch lingo. I presume it's funny though. Yeah. And I laugh because I get where you're coming from. Yeah. But I don't know what DonoWald is. DonoWald is like ignoring a donation or... DonoWald. Or ignoring chat and waiting for a donation to come in to see the message. Oh, right. I guess we always read them. So maybe we aren't walling. Chat will know better than I because even I'm not super sure. But it's one of those two.

Ignoring messages that aren't donations. That's the one. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. So you may as well be talking to a brick wall. Oh, well, not talking to chat then, basically. Yeah, so just ignore your therapist. What's the next level of that where you're like sips and you just ignore everything? Yeah. That's just sips. That's the iron curtain. Yeah. The iron curtain. The sips wall. Lul.

Well, we kind of do a little bit of gameplay and then we read out a big old fucking bunch. I don't know if it's good for chat or not.

True, I don't know. Spend like a good 10 minutes just like catching up on everything. Yeah, but I think that like I find it – I don't watch many streamers. But when you see people doing something and concentrating on it and they cut off and they go, hey, thanks for the 10. It's just I find that more jarring. True. Than if you just took time to just do it in gaps and breaks. And also we record our videos so we literally don't want to do that. We'd be pissing over our content with just – well, that's the thing. That was the contentious issue of like moving to streaming more often.

was that people on YouTube actually hate that kind of shit and they don't go into streamers for that reason. And so we've made a kind of a compromise. I think it's about some time actually. Yeah. Like you've gone the other way. You started streaming and now you've got a YouTube channel. Yep. Yep. It's been a bit of a nightmare trying to get anything recorded over like Jingle Jam and Winter and

trying to get people to do content and stuff. Trying to get people in to do stuff and they're busy as well so it's a bit of a nightmare. It's the age old. Group contests are so hard to address. The trick is to have three on the channel to begin with. Exactly, that's a huge move. Less money though. It's going pretty good. Less money for you individually. Including clothing. Yeah, oh God. And deodorant. I thought I saw Ross wearing that. We swap around. He said he'd wash it after. I told him not to.

It's an interesting time to get into YouTube. Everyone's like, I'm quitting. I'm out. Don't start YouTube. It's shit. And I'm just like, but Twitch is dying. You know, I'm like, oh, yeah. Well, didn't they lay off like 400 people? Yeah, yeah. Like 33% of the company or something. They didn't make a profit. Yeah. They're taking 50% off of all the streamers. We've always spread wide, though. Like, we've always... I know. We are widespreaders. Oh, you know. We were wide boy before wide raps. Yeah, yeah, you were. But yeah, we've always like...

utilized like patreon and things like that and now youtube memberships justin tv justin tv i i used to do something tv yeah yeah back in the day watch the streamer on there once nice nice this will never work now look at you that's my fucking job yeah yeah youtube we it took a while for our audience to get on board with the idea that like now we're going to record

and then read subs and stuff afterwards. I remember there was a bit of rubbing the wrong way early on. But I think, you know, people adapt to it and people quite like it now, I think.

Yeah. Or at least the ones that stuck around still like it. Yeah. Exactly. Our viewership's like 10 times less. Well, you guys did the absolute right thing with your memberships and stuff. So it's like, we're going to not fucking censor anything. Fuck this. Just become a member. It's more like fucking YouTube algorithm and chasing that dragon. It's just a great way to push people off the platforms.

in general and push users away from why they liked you in the first place because you were changing so much trying to your guys video tonight I've also done a little Vegas vlog and it was like you know fucking doing the gun stuff don't have fully automatic you were telling me don't have it because that will just kill your video I put that on there but I think I also put it on it was fine but even things like that you guys are like fuck it YouTube members here's us shooting a bazooka nice

As long as it doesn't literally delete our channel with strikes, we're more than willing to be way more open and not be like, oh, we shouldn't swear in the first blah, blah. I think a lot of the really big... A person told us about the automatic guns thing because a couple of the other guys were at the shooting range with it. And I think they're worried about that kind of thing a lot because...

they're often in a really great position and they don't want to topple off of that stack of perfect right now. I think they know as soon as they fall out of that algorithmic preference, they're like, fuck, so how do I stay within it? Whilst with us, I think we've been on the floor for some time. Yeah, yeah. It's the only way it's up, baby. Rather, we are not successful anymore, I think,

because of an algorithmic way. We're successful because people keep coming back to watch it. And I'm not saying that they're not successful. They have a huge chunk of their audience as well that love them for them. But equally, when you're riding high, I think a lot of people pay a huge amount of attention to what's going on on the platform because they're so terrified of it fucking them over because it can so easily. They wouldn't be making videos about one man, one jar. Yeah, exactly. That's a good point. You should have put water in it.

You know, give it more, more whatever. We were discussing liquids. Honey. Oh, are you packing what liquid you'd put in the jar? Well, potentially, yeah. What would be the best? This is the one man, one child. We did a video recently about it. Yeah, so if you were to insert a jar into your asshole and it were to smash, what liquid would be best to like,

contain the shells. Is pseudo cream a liquid? Yeah, I guess so. Maybe some pseudo cream. Yeah, I was just trying to think of something that grabs the chunks. You don't want to use expanding foam because we knew a guy, did we tell you about that time? No. There was a guy that put expanding foam down his pee hole. Oh,

Oh, no. For his sexual high. Okay. But it got stuck and expanded so much that he now has to piss through a hole under his gooch. Because he ruined his bladder. He ruined his bladder and his erectile, like, musculature. How fucking horny do you have to be? This is what I said. You know what I mean? I don't think it's horny. It's just stupidity. Just squeeze your fucking hog, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they thought, I want to sound so hard, I'm going to deal with expanding foam. Jesus Christ, I've never got something. Would you do like a tester blob on like, okay, how much does it expand? You'd think you'd put it on a little tiny, like, maybe put a straw first. You get the straw on like you do with a people pump. You lick that bad boy, stick it straight down the hole and just hold, hold till you can't pee anymore. Oh,

Oh, yeah. God damn that horny brain. Some people would call him a pioneer. But how... He went... Was he a pioneer? An astronaut? He went somewhere you've never been before and no one else is going to go there again. Was he expected to come out like an elephant's toothpaste? I don't really know what he expected. Because once it's in, how are you getting out? Like a bottle rocket. Yeah, like a bottle rocket. Builds up pressure and then...

Fucking hell. Unbelievable. Rupture destroyed his bladder from probably when he tried to piss. And then obviously he couldn't. I wonder how much time he spent in absolute agony, but also embarrassment for like, at what point do I go to A&E? I imagine there were probably several months of agony.

Yeah. Did you think one man, one jar showed the video? Before they were like, this is bad. Oh, no, no. They would have gone immediate. I imagine they would have gone the same day. I reckon there was like a good hour of like, fuck, this is so bad. He can't piss. It really depends. You'd be at A&E within the first hour you could. I don't know. I'd be thinking I could get adrenaline down there.

I think there'll be some time spent trying to solve it yourself. Yeah. Because you've got to do yourself a sticky situation. There's got to be a way. You're going to try and rationalise it being like, well, hey, I can deal with this. Oh, it's hurting a bit more than I should. Oh, God. And then eventually you just submit and go, I've got to fucking go to the doctor. There were people that were also putting a bike pump...

Down there as well And like Doing some inflation Doing some inflation Just gonna inflate your bladder Inflating Yeah it's fucking dumb It's just gonna It's so dumb Oh Making their foreskin That doesn't sound as bad though Although that's pretty cute Yeah It's kind of cute right But you'd be fucking A little balloon foreskin A little mushroom more like A little mushroom A little forest mushroom wouldn't it Yeah exactly A little bulbous head And a nice

Nice stalk, little button on the end of a stalk. Yeah. I'd come along and I'd gather that one, chop it up, chuck it in a soup.

Sonic Boom. Make a little dog out of it. Yeah. There you go. Cannibal's wet dream. Yeah, it truly is. Yeah. So, oh, speaking of which, do you know what a Nully is? No. Do you guys know what a Nully is? No, I do not know what a Nully is. A Nully or a Nullo?

A nullo. It's a nullo. It's a person that's had extreme body modification to nullify their sexuality. There was two guys in the UK last week that have been sentenced to years in prison for enabling a guy to have his cock and balls cut off by hand, live on video. By hand? Live on video. So this guy, who was called the eunuch maker...

You know what? I've heard... Have you heard about this? Were you telling me this the other night? So not their sexuality, their sexual organs. There was a news story about it not long ago. So he had a surgeon, a nurse. Yeah, I think I told you about this the other night. Yeah, I think so. He cut his nipples off. And then he had this other guy who was strapped down to a table and anaesthetised. And then they just cut his balls and dick off with a knife. Wow. And then they streamed it to paying customers. Wow.

In the UK. On the dark web, I'd assume. Oh, well, I haven't found it yet. Justin.tv. Justin.tv. That's really fucked up. Yeah. And it was like consenting and it's all like, you know, an extreme kink ultimately, like an extreme, well, it may not even be an extreme kink.

Unic maker. Let's call it. I don't want to call it a kink because it might be something more complicated. Yeah, in the UK, yeah. The Unic maker. You definitely said the Unic maker. That's what he dubbed himself. Why that though? Because Unics are people without balls. No, no, no. Why go that route? What? As a participant or? If you're to remove your sexual organs, you want to remove them, right? Yeah, you're a nullo. There's a way to do it.

through like a proper system what's the system but i guess it's expensive which system a bunch of rubber bands yeah sorry if you just said i want to i just want to come off and there needs to be like a well yeah you go through a process through a long process it will definitely not be you'd have to pay for it this guy said he paid 500 quid

Well, it might not be deemed a medically necessary surgery. I'm not sure what the laws are. I'm not sure. They may say that you have the right to have your body modified to whatever fits your gender. I don't know. But they'd have to argue it from a gender perspective. I have no idea. I think that's not the case with it. I think we were talking about if a unit gets its balls cut off, can their dick still get hard?

You know, that's what we were talking about and this is when you told me about the eunuch maker. If they're balls, yeah, I think if they're balls, it's like with dogs, if they cut their balls off, they'll still probably get hard. Yeah. It's not a case of that, it's just a fact. That's the point at that point though, you know? Well, no, because actually you can still ejaculate when your balls have been cut off. Okay.

Can you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just removes the little squiggly squirts. So there are actually two places. There are two places where the ejaculate comes from in a human, in a male. Like, so there's the sperm and then there's like the carrier fluid. Okay. And so the sperm are kept in the balls and I think the carrier fluid is actually produced by glands above your penis. You just get the carrier fluid instead. Yeah. And that's why vasectomies work and still produce. But you'd be annoyed if you didn't have a load. Is that what you mean? No, no.

me annoyed. I just thought nothing would happen. You know what I mean? Now you get all the stuff. Okay. Just little squirmy boys. Little squirmy boys looking for an animal. No, it just screams. It just goes, ahhh! Oh, weird. I knew there would be side effects. Just so you know, because nothing's coming out, it will still make the sound. But without the liquid, it sounds really strange. It sounds like a small screaming creature. Usually your dick sounds like, right?

It's like an old man clearing his throat. I've got vocal cords. That's what Tanrik him sing. That means it's like a sad cartoon car that's out of steam. Just dust comes out. For science, it's apparently the fluid, the carrying fluid comes from the prostate. Oh, okay, right. Oh, okay.

So that's where you get your wad from. And then it gets mixed together like a nice cocktail. Frosty balls. Good old Frosty. What cocktail would you compare it to? Like a pina colada maybe? Pina colada, but that's like crushed ice. But it's milky and it's sort of... It's a bit milky, yeah. But a little bit pineapple-y as well. That's true. If you eat the right things, it could be pina colada-y, yeah. I was thinking more like a Coke cocktail.

Why? Because you mix it with like carbonated water. Yeah, that's true. Have you got a sword of shame? Can you Fezzy come?

I've got a soda stream. Take the fame, don't you? Any liquid, I'm sure. Mate, once you start putting fizzy milk in your porridge, you do not go back to fizzy milk. Really? It's not good. You go, this is a mistake. What have I done? This shouldn't be like this. Fizzy milk. Fizzy milk. Apparently there were nine people who were part of this castration group. They got to nine. Yeah, they made around 200 grand from the people...

That's not bad. I can see that there is a set of people that are willing to watch this kind of thing. I don't think it was... Yeah. I can see that because, you know, like you've seen Squid Game and stuff, people are willing to watch heinous shit for money. And arguably the person is consenting.

Yeah, I mean, there's that sexual cannibal in Germany, right, that convinced a guy and he got off and cut his dick off and eating it. Yeah, yeah. Consensually. Yeah. One of the guys who was doing it, apparently he appeared on the dock using a wheelchair, he had his own leg, penis, and nipple removed. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they put his leg in dry ice until it fell off. What the fuck? Consented to it. Oh, my God. Wild, huh? I mean, you could say, and you can, and you do argue that consent is...

based on you know a person being of sound mind and you may be able to argue that this person is not of sound mind i'm gonna stick my leg in the fucking dry ice yeah but yeah it's the eunuch maker uh qualified to determine the mental oh he's an expert he didn't get the title he's too busy counting the cash uh at the time but no he got pissed off so this is the whole thing the guy said he was gonna pay him 500 quid to cut his dick off ended up just giving him 50 quid

And he got pissed off about that. And that's part of the reason they got caught. They got caught. Because they got into a huge argument about this. Oh, my God. Was he expecting a thicker cut of meat and he actually just got a little... I think he was one of the full 500. Based on the ounce. There was a video that jurors were showed of the act happening. Oh, my God.

Oh, I had to be in on that. The worst jury duty possible. Imagine being called to jury for that. Oh, mum, I've got jury duty. Oh, brilliant. You catch those criminals. Mum, I saw some horrible things today. Oh, it's awful. Yeah, yeah. 18 plus. Yeah, yeah. But cos he lives. Cos he lives. People are still living at home in their 30s, guys. Come on. It's quite remarkable none of us have ever been called for jury duty. I think back in the 35s. Someone else has, isn't it? Yes.

Yeah. Because it's really disruptive. It took like four weeks, I think, yeah. The local judge might have seen our content and be like... They can't judge. They shouldn't judge anyone.

I'd like to be excused on the basis of being a cunt. The most recent. Charismatic, unique, nervous and tactile. I don't know what it is. Nocturnal. Nocturnal. Turtle. Turtle. Anyway, yeah. But, yeah, there was – what were we talking about? The guy – yeah, the guy said in the video, the guy doing the cutting, he's like –

Well, this has got to be a first. Can't believe I've done this one. Also, he's talking to himself just like... What the fuck? He's flabbergasted as to what he's just experienced. I'm just like...

How the fuck? As in, the guy that's just cut the dude's dick off in the video. He's like, well, I can't believe I've done that. Yeah, he is like, he's like. What has he done until then? Has he did six others? Exactly. How did he get the name of Unique Maker? But like, apparently he reacted. I think maybe this was the first one he did or something. And then other people were like, I'd like to do this too. But he was like, it's just, I kind of just found it,

bizarrely hilarious in the same way that I found the guy putting the jar up his arse kind of funny. It's just like... Pioneers. They're all pioneers. It's so absurd for a person to go through that moment in their brain of like, holy shit, I've just cut a guy's dick and balls off. This is a wild day. And I'm like, what do you mean this is a wild day? What on earth are you doing? You know, like, it's just...

But also it being the other guy and being like, oh, I'm fucking raging. You did that. Where's my extra 450 quid? That's what he paid the unit maker. Yeah. Oh, so paying to be done. He was paying for service. He was like, I fucking

and get paid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got into an argument because he felt like he hadn't been properly compensated. I'd love to see, what's his name, the small claims court? Yeah. Judge Rinder. This is what I'm saying. This is what I told you about it because I'm like, this is such an absurd series of events that's happening. Yeah.

Do you think human centipede inspired some people? Yeah. Oh, definitely. There's definitely some... Well, it's that morbid fascination in your mind, isn't it? Somewhere in America, there are people being tied together by their mouth and anus. That's also saying video games cause violence, right? Yeah, but you can be inspired by an act. I guess people not of sound mind will always be encouraged by...

Because now we're like, well, that's how it was shown in a film, but how does it really work? The human centipede would make for an amazing monster in Lethal Company. Oh my God. If it catches you, it adds you to it. You're like, what happened? I felt up.

Someone mod that. Please. Please make that human centipede. What happened to Ravs? Oh no. You're at the front like run away. The guy at the front can understand all the people behind him and can communicate on behalf of the centipede.

Oh my god. That's incredible. That's such a good idea. But fucking... Did he call himself that? Was that like his online name? I think that was his reputation. His nom de guerre. But yeah, it's... Now he's in jail?

Yes, now they've gone to jail. So if you're looking for that service, you're going to have to go somewhere else, I guess. Did he have a background in surgery or anything? Although there was a nurse that helped remove one of the guy's nipples. Okay, that's fucking mad, though. I'd use a ball clip. A sharp and a ball clip. So Rav said just use elastic bands. I think that's pretty great. Elastic bands? You've got quite a long nipple. You've got to wait a while. You've got to have quite a long one to...

hell yeah well think about how the lambs feel they're getting their tails docked every time just use um yeah dental floss tight tight oh fucking hell yeah that's another good solution get rid of a can of wire a skin tag skin tag doing that once did that work yeah I'd freeze it off personally I would I'd just tug that thing and

I kind of want my nipples. Don't want to lose them. No, I don't. Would you rearrange them though? Put them elsewhere or what? Yeah, enlarge them. Have vertical ones. I don't know. Dinner plates or beef burgers or maybe just a modest meatball. I've got like a modest meatball. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a conversation starter, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The moment you get naked, it's like, oh, now you've got something to talk about. Like, specifically, yeah. Yeah, they're vertical now. So, yeah, so they're not where you would expect them to be. Mm-hmm. So that's cool, right? Where are you going? Come back. I'd have mine split into two each and then arranged into an S shape. Ah. Ha, ha, ha.

I like that. So they're all semicircles. Yeah. Oh, I see. Interesting. You can go for the cool S. A good disjointed pepperoni look. It's a lot of nip to spare, isn't it? It's a lot. And I don't have like body hair, so they'd have to do it with like scalpel scarring. But it looks cool. I got the cool S on me.

I got the nipples replaced and then I had just cuts put in and you're like it's S it's S for Smith you're like ah okay yeah yeah I have to go I need to anywhere else I can go apart from here with you right now yeah yeah yeah you know like back in school you used to scrape it into the table using a compass but now it's on me forever and my nips are part of it yeah that's incredible

I love that. That's good. I don't know, I feel like I just like them where they are and wouldn't want the unit maker to freeze them off. I've never thought to change them, yeah. I've never thought to just swap them around or move them around or pop them somewhere else. The third one would be quite funny. Nubbin' somewhere. Yeah. I got splinched as a kid. Splinched?

Splinching. Splinching is where you don't properly teleport yourself in the Harry Potter universe and it fucks your body slightly. Right, okay. Oh, God. I don't remember that name in the Harry Potter films. Splinching. Yeah, as if you fuck up a flu transfer or you fuck up a... Your face permanently turns into a stack of logs. Yeah, you get splinched. Oh, no. I'm always going to be a stack of logs in a fireplace. Yeah.

Yeah. Number one, Harry Potter podcast, guys. We do mention it. I haven't seen it. Coming up next. We're going to talk to JK. JK. JK. Well, we have reached our time. Hey, Ramps, where can people find you? You also do a podcast. Yeah. So your degrees, you've been on it. You're next on the list. We need to get you on. Oh, wow. Um,

Headhunted. Yeah, that's Zero Degrees. Very fun podcast. We answer a bunch of dumb questions that people send in and they're usually really fucking dumb. And I stream at Ravs underscore on Twitch and I'm also on YouTube now.

so you know and he's going to be playing lethal company with us in a bit momentarily yeah yeah well thank you very much for listening thank you to our supporters of course on Patreon or Twitch or YouTube members right now you guys make this podcast continue to happen and hey if you want to send in a fingle just like Dream State Empire I didn't write it down yes yes send it to hatchat at hat-films.com and thanks again and if you don't become a member to Hat Films well what's going to happen you know

The eunuch maker is going to get you. The eunuch maker. We become the eunuch makers. Yeah. Eunuch breakers. Thank you very much for listening and watching, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪

Hey y'all, I'm Dr. Alok Kanodja, but the internet knows me as Dr. K. I spent seven years studying to become a monk and then became a psychiatrist. I want to tell you a little bit about my podcast, Healthy Gamer GG, where we combine my clinical experience of practicing psychiatry and sprinkle in years of experience as a meditation teacher and sort of focus on spirituality. So on the podcast, we're going to approach very common areas

everyday problems from each of these lenses. And what we really do well is blend science and spirituality to create the most accessible solutions for people for their everyday problems. So check us out at Healthy Gamer GG on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple.