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cover of episode What's the Deal with Eel?

What's the Deal with Eel?

2024/8/3
logo of podcast The Hat Chat Podcast

The Hat Chat Podcast

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A
Alex Smith
C
Chris Trott
R
Ross Hornby
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@Alex Smith 认为日期格式应该按照长度递增排列,或者按照重要性排列,这样更方便人们理解和使用。他认为日、月、年的顺序并不合理,应该按照长度或重要性来排列。 @Chris Trott 对破折号的词源和用法进行了详细的解释,指出破折号并非严格意义上的语法符号,而更像是一种替代空格的符号,它的词源可以追溯到古希腊语。 @Ross Hornby 在讨论破折号用法的过程中,补充说明了破折号最初用于避免单词之间没有空格造成的歧义。他还分享了自己在DIY过程中遇到的问题,以及一些解决方法,并对五分钟工艺视频中的一些技巧提出了质疑。 Chris Trott讲述了他意外地用飞达奶酪踢到一个孩子的趣事,以及他在进行家居维修时遇到的困难和一些解决方法。他详细描述了事件的经过,以及他尝试在石膏上钻孔时遇到的问题,并分享了一些解决方法,包括使用牙签或火柴填充过大的孔洞。他还对五分钟工艺视频中的一些技巧提出了质疑,认为这些技巧并不实用,甚至可能导致更大的问题。 Ross Hornby分享了他对英国炎热天气的感受,以及他在自家花园里采摘黑莓的经历。他还表达了他对散落在公共场所的狗水碗可能被投毒的担忧,并讨论了如何避免这种情况。 Alex Smith讨论了如何鉴别不明液体,并提到了Theranos血液检测丑闻。他还分享了他对时间旅行和不明飞行物的一些看法,以及他阅读的一本关于不明飞行物披露的书。

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The podcast opens with a discussion about the podcast's episode number and a humorous take on the American date system. The hosts then transition into a light-hearted conversation about their personal lives and recent events.

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Good day and welcome to the Hatchat Podcast episode 173. I think it's 172, is it not? Oh my god. Maybe I'm not up to date on here. Yeah, 172. Interesting. The 1st of the 8th. Amazing. We're in August now and I'm Chris Trott. Hi Chris Trott. Do you think it should be the 8th of the 1st?

No one thinks that. No one thinks that. I'm Ross Holmby. Nice. Alex Smith does a small dig at the American date system. Doesn't make sense. It doesn't.

Day, month, year. Why not just have them in ascending order of length? Exactly. Because you're always going to put the eight for 31 days or 30 days or whatever. I'd say in order of importance as well. You kind of want to know specifically what date you need to turn up to a thing. The month, yeah, that's the next most important. Year, if you get the wrong year, you're in trouble. Yeah. So, yeah.

Anyway, my emails have for some reason defaulted to that. I've tried to change it several times. It keeps going back. That's pretty annoying. And it's annoying. I like that finger, by the way. It's sort of post-hardcore, post-punk kind of vibe. Who was that? Andrew Vaughn. Andrew Vaughn. That may have been played in the past. Oh, yeah. But I like it so much. Yeah, I really like it. It deserves a second listen. So...

Knock my socks off. Thank you very much, Andrew Vaughan. Again, if you want to send us a finger, you can do. We do have an email for that sort of thing. And it is on screen now if you're watching on YouTube. But if not, hatchat at hat-films.com. And if you don't know what hyphen means, I'll do it again. Hatchat at hat-films.com. It's just a little dash next to the plus button on here. Why did they decide to call it dash versus hyphen and hyphen versus dash?

You'll have to ask the Greeks. Well, because hyphens serve a purpose, I think. As in, like, hyphens within proper grammar say that, you know, those words are somehow related, perhaps a modifier on a verb or some shit. But with us, we're literally using it in place of space or the fact that we couldn't just get hat films. We couldn't get it. So it's not actually a hyphen. In a way, it is just a symbol.

It's like us using the bat symbol in between hat and films, of course. That'd be confusing and probably litigious. Hard to explain to people where that is on the keyboard. Do you want the etymology of hyphen? Yeah, okay. Yeah, go on. Is it Greek? Ancient Greece. Nice, good. Contracted from hypohenia.

In one, literally under one is what it means. It was an under tie, like it's like a little sling symbol before written below two adjacent letters to indicate that they belong to the same word when it was necessary to avoid ambiguity before word spacing was practiced. Well, I guess in a way it still is useful in terms of word spacing then because we are literally using it for word spacing, but it doesn't necessarily say they are one. Yeah.

Anyway, that's the email address discussion. That's good. Nuts. What's been going on in our lives as Het Films? What's been going on in the world that's funny? What's been going on in the world that's exciting? Funny, funny, funny. Oh, you wanted funny stuff. Well, I mean...

What's happened to you recently? Anything interesting? Tragedies. I kicked some feta cheese at a kid yesterday accidentally. You got what? Feta cheese? Speaking of the Greeks, I kicked some feta cheese at a child accidentally yesterday when I was eating my lunch. It rolled down my knee. I tried to catch it on my foot and instead booted a piece of cheese at a nearby child. What?

That happened to me yesterday. Where did it hit them though? Just kind of in the leg as well. Oh, okay. It's not like a face hit. Do you remember the Babybel TV adverts where it used to like roll down and everyone was chasing it? Yeah. That, but it almost immediately split into several smaller bits of feta cheese. It didn't hold up. Bit saucy feta as well. Did anyone give you a weird look? I kind of went, sorry.

What did the kid look like receiving the feta? Oh, hungry. He looked at me like, hoping I was going to kick a cracker at him next. He didn't look malnourished, he just looked hungry. It wasn't a pity thing, it wasn't like a sad thing. It was more like, I was like, on your head, son, and then I booed a watermelon at him. I didn't do that. What have you been doing this week? Not kicking cheese at kids. I feel like I'd be missing out. Bad DIY. Oh yeah, you...

I just tried to drill holes in plaster. Well, no, I didn't try to drill a hole. Basically, to put a screw in plaster, you need to have one of these larger, thicker screw pieces. It's like four plasterboard. Anyway, I rounded out the hole twice, and I just spent a lot more money fixing it. Yeah, I filled it now. With what?

With this, so with a recommendation from my carpenter friend who recommended this wood filler, which they then mixed with this hardener and it's created these like very solid holes. Now what I next need to do is drill two holes. It's very mundane really. I know, this is fascinating. But I need to drill two holes and put plugs in them rather than what I previously tried to do. Right. But I'm learning. I guess I'm learning. If you drill a hole that's too big...

I've got a recommendation for next time. Okay. Because I see these five minute crafts and I think I know what I'm talking about here. So you can jam it full of toothpicks or matches. It's true. Why? It works. And like, if you have a screw that like ends up spinning, you can jam it

just cram some toothpicks just a loose bit of wood it works honestly it works I'm sure it does that sounds like a botched job I mean more botched than mine I just feel I think there's a reason carpenters don't learn from five minute craft tip videos yeah no toothpicks no I've got this like hardening plaster no no don't use that use toothpicks

Go out and buy a box of matches, snap all the heads off. You're just jamming more mass in there. Yeah, no, I understand. Yeah. I mean, it's a good temporary solution. It was a joining wall as well, so I was worried I was going to go all the way through. It wasn't that thick, but I was worried that would be an issue. Careful the next time you walk through Trot's house, all the doors are on with toothpicks. That was my preferred choice as well. I could have used normal screws. I don't know, hold this roof up then. Toothpicks. I bought a lot of toothpicks. Toothpicks.

All right, I guess... Five-minute craft? Yeah, five-minute craft. Five-minute craft. Five-minute craft. All right, well, that's exciting. I know. It's not very exciting, is it? It's been very hot in England, again. It's just come to the end of July. It's August now. August, of course, named after...

Augustus. Augustus Gloop from Willy Wonka. From Willy Wonka. We didn't have a name for this month until the 1970s. Is it 70s that film came out? Late 70s, yeah. What about when the book came out? Surely that's like above the film. I don't think so. I think they were all just presumed he'd misspelled it at that point. Augustus Gloop. Before it was made famous by Gene Wilder.

Before that, it was just some obscure author writing nonsense in a book. August was actually from a Caesar, Augustus. Yeah, I know, yeah. So the Romans injected that. Yeah, yeah. But previously, obviously, they were using the Greek calendar and just homogenized that into... They went, nah, time for a change. Let's put this bloke in the year. Freaked out that it's already August? No, not really.

You're like, whoa, that actually happened really quickly because time moves faster when you age. Absolutely does. No, I'm enjoying these last few weeks of summer. It's still very green out, which is nice. I picked some blackberries yesterday. Yeah, you did in your garden, didn't you? I did. Chris Trott's got acres and acres of land. He owns half the Cotswolds. I got my servants out. Did they give you a dicky tummy? Yeah.

I haven't eaten them yet. I've frozen them. Okay. What do they do to you? Why did you freeze them? How many have you got? The servants. Are they in a cart? Yeah.

You've frozen them for next time you need them. This one's all broken. So how many black, did you fill a cart door box? Like people always used to, I don't know about you, but my nan always used to have like an ice cream tub full of frozen berries. That's essentially what I've got. Yeah. I think a lunchbox. You know those reusable lunchboxes? Yeah. How many did you fill? Two. Wow. Two big ones. Just from my garden. That's a lot. That is a lot, yeah. It's overgrown. You can make some like berry treats with them.

I'm going to feed them to animals that have an intolerance. You're going to poison animals? Dogs are one of them, so don't feed them. I actually worry, you know, there are a lot of dog bowls dotted around Bristol and walking hotspots and stuff. For some reason, I always think they've been spiked. Yeah, I think it's probably always best to tip them out and pour your own water in, isn't it? Yeah, but I just feel there's this weird paranoia that some fucker

has just decided to put something in it that's not good for dark I don't know why I know that's a really negative way to think about the world but like I just don't trust it and the thing is like it's also Murph will go up to it give it a sniff then look away and I'm like oh maybe there's something wrong with that water and so then by his and you think he would know

but yeah i don't know anyway do you think have you ever seen anyone spike those things no poor bleach instead of water i would know i'd go around quite a targeted thing it would be quite a targeted thing but i feel like there's weirdos out there i just like to dip dip my dick in them if someone put bleach in a dog bowl

Do you think that would make the news? Do you think that would be like a newsworthy kind of... I don't think you'd be able to tell. I think maybe you might have a spate of dog poisonings. You might be able to smell. And then when you get close to the water, you go, oh, hang on, that is bleach. But you... Well, I mean, you wouldn't dip your finger in and taste it. I don't think that would do anything. I watched a... Other than make you feel sick. A documentary about this.

Midnight Mass on Netflix. And there is a scene in that where it's actually a targeted poisoning with a hot dog on a dog that they don't like. So I think that's more common than, I'm just going to get the dogs in the local area. I just don't like that dog because it keeps barking. But if you want to eliminate variables, absolutely, being that paranoid is a way to do it.

I mean there are advantages to paranoia. I'm just saying. It's just a lot more work. I haven't monitored that bowl. So I don't know what's been in it. And then there's a little sign on this little bucket tub thing next to it saying water for dogs. Only dogs with high tolerance for bleach should drink this. That's white spirit. I'll go to fellow dog walkers. Just chuck a match at every bowl you go by. You should bring chemistry stuff. Do tests. Take a pipette. What if it's LSD?

I don't think I even know I don't think my dog would even know until he starts kind of like stumbling around a bit just like what the fuck's happening my reality is changing call me naive naive go on you're naive not yet judge me in a minute but what do you do to like get some undisclosed liquid and identify it

Is there a global tool which will identify any liquid or do you have to process it with a variety of physics? The second one. Yeah, they just dot it on a specific... You're basically looking for reactions with certain compounds. So they'll get a reagent board and then I think you just drop it and if you get a reaction, it signifies there's some form of chemical there. You're basically negating...

what it is you're trying to rule it out yeah that's why you know there was that theros theros um the the blood test scandal where um there was that woman in the u.s who like got loads of anti-capitalist stuff and then they had to um they sent her to prison for fraud because she was basically just lying that what they had but they they said um that they had a test we did a blood test that analyzed like any illness so that's like yeah it's not doesn't really work like that it's like the holy grail of of medicine to be able to give someone a very simple test to diagnose everything um and

And the most recent example of that was a huge fraud. So now you'd have to like rule it out. I mean, you could do toxicology reports on the dogs that died, which might help to lower your choices. I'm thinking about prevention. So Ross going out there with like a little just pipette. Yeah, he gets like a little like, imagine a pan pipe test. So it's just a pan pipe. Yeah, a dip. And you just dip the whole thing in and go. Yeah.

Oh, there's Poisonick. I knew it would be Poisoned. Yeah. I'm right. No, I don't know. Theranos, that was what it was called. Elizabeth Holmes. Yeah, he was in Endgame. Theranos? Yeah. Elizabeth Holmes? Wasn't that an actual Netflix series? Huh? Elizabeth Holmes. No, you're thinking of the one with the Stranger Things actor. That was a movie with Henry Campbell. What, is she not Elizabeth Holmes? Is that not? She is Elizabeth Holmes, yeah. It's not Elizabeth Holmes, is it? It's a different name. I don't know. Lizzie Holmes. It's a different name. Enola Holmes. Enola Holmes.

I didn't watch it, did I? I didn't fucking spend any time watching that shit. Well, I still blame you for not knowing the name of it. There is an Elizabeth Holmes, though, look. Yeah, CEO of Theranos. Oh, that's the one. Yeah, the Theranos. It's all coming back around now. Fucking hell. Was she in Endgame or no? That's how we got the name. She wasn't in Endgame, no. That's how we got the name. She wasn't in Endgame. Speaking of period dramas, like Lizzie Holmes, Enola, I know it's Enola, Ebola Holmes, um,

filming in Queen Square recently with lots of our old school vintage cars which is really cool and it's to do with Agatha Christie are you in it? we could be quite easily I reckon is that murder mystery? I think they try very hard not to get us in the background

What if I turn up in full period gear? Then they'll be like, I assume that you were working there. Yeah. Probably usher you onto set. Oh, mate, do you want to wait around for six hours to be an extra? Let's do that for a video. Just hang around. Infiltrating sets. Find out the exact period they're in. Dress roughly like that and just hang around. We use professional costume department to sneak into film sets. X-Men, nice. All these different like,

- It must be possible. 'Cause half the time on these film sets, and I've only worked on one really, so that's the only knowledge I have.

There's so much going on that I think that that would be quite easy to do. Especially when it's like, why the fuck would these idiots dress as Imperial anyway? You're perfectly dressed for this. Come on through. And if anything, you're there. Free catering. It's a safe version of that guy that went to war zones and filmed it. The guy was like, oh, lol, stuck in Syria, lol. Whoops. It's like that, but you're trying to break into film sets. What did he get called into battle, though? Huh?

So he dressed the part and then he was accepted. I don't know. The acting like you belong situation should work though. It'd be easy. They have a lot of security at film sets though. Yeah, they do. But this is the thing. If you get an assistant director, they'll be like, oh, you look the part right, come on through. You look like the ones that had been there earlier. If there's enough moving things happening, you could probably infiltrate. As a baby, would you have smothered Trump? Sorry? As a baby. As a boy.

Would you have smothered Trump if he was a baby? Smothered Trump if he was a baby. I always thought, like, you're a baby trying to infiltrate. I think we've had this discussion, but in regards to other dictators or world leaders that are awful. And it always comes down to, you will be a baby killer regardless. You have to be prepared to get the status. I just thought I'd change the pace up a bit. I'm just struggling with the... The snap. Yeah, that's a snap change. But...

I wouldn't kill a baby because I don't think anyone would. But then whoever does has to be willing to pay the ultimate price. See, the time travelers aren't going to come and help you then knowing that you wouldn't do anything differently. No. You've got to be ready to be radical. You've got a thing. What's going on recently? Why is there time travel?

What have you read? It's just all this time travel, mate. Everyone's travelling this way, that way. Did you finish Dark Matter? No. Did you start it? I did. It got boring. I finished it. Yeah. It's a simple premise. It's a bit of a weird ending, yeah. Very simplistic. It's basically the same premise. And the things you expect to happen happen. Yeah. It's a series on Apple TV. And then they have a few shock bits and I was just a bit like, oh, alright, okay. One of the accidents is fucking terrible. Oh, which one? The one that walks like they've got a steel frame in their back.

I'm really struggling to picture who that is. So I don't know. It's not immediately obvious. It's like they told them, like, be a scary boss person and they're like, is this alright? In Dark Matter? Are we talking about the same program? Dark Matter, the one with the guy, what's his name? Oh, I don't know.

I actually don't know his name. He's been in other films that haven't done that well. He's an A-list actor that's been in a lot of films that are okay. An action hero. I'm going to tell you his name right now. It's Joel Edgerton. Joel Edgerton, that's the one. You recognize the name but can't quite put it to his face. Jennifer Connelly's in it. Jennifer Connelly. I don't know who that is. That's fair enough. Those are the two names that are in it. Anyway, it was okay. What about the Alien book you've been reading though?

oh yeah oh no it's not out yet oh yeah the one about uh imminent by lou elizondo well it's called imminent it's called imminent yeah now the aliens are imminent i don't know that's what it's implying no it's i think disclosure isn't it so there's a lot of talk about disclosure on the internet about when the government's finally going to tell people drop the curve there's something happening there's something going on you know it's a matter of time what would the governments need to do that though

If it's imminent. Yeah. If it's imminent. I think if there was any kind of threat. All right, you can pay yourselves this, this and this. Right now, it's just like, oh, you see a couple of flying things in the sky. There's just lights. The prevailing opinion is like, if it's real, is either they don't know much about it anyway, either. You know, they're just like, don't know what the fuck it is. We don't really understand it either. So we don't really want to tell people there's something going on. We don't understand because all that does is cause panic and gives people no answers.

The other option is that it's almost that we're so insignificant that there's not much worth talking about it.

Because the thing that stitches these things together to be like, well, hold on, something must be happening is A, a load of pilots have seen a load of stuff. And B, there seems to be a lot of evidence to suggest that there's crash retrieval programs going on. People, governments getting stuff. These might be crash retrievals of like other governments equipment or it could be whatever the hell else they're finding. But like, so really it seems like something is happening. Something physical has happened.

But the idea of what that might be or what might cause it, you know, what are these weird floaty drone things people are seeing in the sky? You know, military pilots, military observation experts, defenders of bases have got like, you see that jellyfish video a little while back? There's like this thing called a jellyfish video. Give it a Google. So on a lot of military bases, US military bases, they have like remote control camera systems. Jellyfish alien. They have remote control camera systems. Ben 10?

Ben 10? Not Ben 10. It could be Ben. No. Is that what it... Jellyfish alien UFO plane or something. But essentially, it was a bit of footage from a US... Italian touristic port. I don't know. Maybe. I can't remember the context of it. 2014. It looks like this weird jellyfish on a thermal camera, right? And it's just drifting through a base. Like, it's just flying over a base. And this camera is just tracking it the whole way. And they saw it several times. The observation team there are just like, yeah, we don't really know what that is.

And so there's all sorts of strange things. They might be, you know, plasmas. There's things like plasmas and stuff like that. Like it could be just like atmospheric effects. But there's a lot of,

unusual shit happening it seems and it'd be interesting to know but that book yeah is coming from a more conspiratorial angle i think because it's from the guy that used to be part of the pentagon who's like they're hiding shit from us i'm sure of it and it's kind of i think become a big a bit of a victim of his own success and is now going down the same fucking rabbit hole that all these ufo people go down where they just promise and explain more and more things with less and less evidence um but you know it's a fun read

It's probably mainly fiction, I think. Hopefully not. Yeah. Well, I mean, it depends. Hopefully not. Part of me is like, I want to know more, of course, because I want to know as much as I can about our existence in our world. And I believe that it's a statistical improbability that we're alone in the universe now, it seems. And then in the other half of me is like,

I don't need to leave this planet. I don't really need any other outside influences that we need to worry about, you know, either. So it's kind of almost you hope one or the other way. What I hope for, I don't want a major disappointment when the aliens finally reveal themselves. Imagine if they're just really ugly.

Or really weird. Yeah. Do you want them to be attractive? I want them to be really sexy aliens. That's a strange requirement. Otherwise, what's the point? Like, if you can't physically stand to be around them. But in terms of like, I mean, it seems like they're normally painted up as ugly beasts from space. Like War of the Worlds.

Yeah, or like Alien. The film Alien. I kind of find those a little sexy. Which is another one being churned out right now. If life propagated through the universe as bacteria on the back of comets or meteorites, which it very well could have done, then there's a good chance that...

If we ever do come across life from other planets, they may share some things in common with us, you know, because we may have all started from the same building blocks and may have gone down the same evolutionary or may have had similar evolutionary pressures. You know, if our kind of bacteria can only exist on an oxygen-based planet or a water-based planet, right? And then that kind of bacteria also flew off into another solar system somewhere and found another water, you know, planet with oxygen, then they could evolve. Obviously, what we evolved from like some fucking...

like grass frond like literally we came out

of the grass, like Jurassic grass or something like that we evolved from or some crazy shit like that. Not Jurassic. That's way too recent. You mean we weren't created? Before complex organism, you mean we weren't created? I don't know. But the scientific, I think one of the main scientific... Hydro thermal vents. Yeah, I think one of the main scientific theories now is that we may have come in the form of bacteria to this planet during the Big Bang. Somehow, the building blocks of life came together at a very, very sort of

tiny level and that allowed for very simple life to form spread throughout the universe and we are the infinite monkeys infinite typewriters result of that yeah basically wasn't there research saying that to actually travel to like Mars would actually probably kill us because of some sort of build up in our kidneys or something in the travel time

I don't have all the data. All of the solar radiation. Something to do with radiation, yeah. Like, basically, our kidneys are fucked by the time we get there. Right, yeah. And so actually traveling there in the current possibilities is unlikely. We need shields. Yeah. So the magnetosphere of Earth shields us from cosmic radiation, right? Radiation eggs. Yeah. So the magnetosphere, literally the electromagnetic force field...

the earth that is generated by, I don't know, the core and our spinning or some shit. I'm not an expert on this, but it's essentially how it works. We have something called, um, yeah, magnetosphere around it. And that deflects most of the harmful radiation that floats through space around us. So we don't get absorbed to it. Amazing. What are the chances? Um,

but when you're up in space you're not protected by that magnetosphere so even on the space station they had astronauts that were trying to sleep and cosmic radiation would be hitting the back of their eye and causing them to have flickers even when their eyes were closed they were seeing light so yeah there's a huge amount of like radiation problems what if they fired us obviously a rocket is like a like a a bullet in a sense but what if we went to a little space gun that then put us inside an egg a shielded egg and

and then fire this with a laser. - But how do you fire with a laser? - Yeah, laser fire. - Sorry, you have me until, how the fuck are you firing anything with a laser? - Laser fired. - Lasers, what? - He just wants the gun. - Light has a little bit of mass, but not enough. - Laser fire. - Pushes the egg. - There is the, well the nuclear space engines have just been built. - The egg will be a capsule, you'll be in a pill. But it'll be so fast that when you land,

You just go straight through it. Just go straight through Mars. You go at least 10 to 15 miles deep into the surface. There's been proposed concepts for a slingshot style device that sends rockets off into space instead of using rockets. Yeah, I've seen that thing. It literally flings them up into the air. Have you seen that?

So I don't think it's going to be necessary because mini nuclear space engines have pretty much been like, there's some prototype nuclear engines that are now almost in like production apparently, which will mean that we'll be able to get to Mars in like,

What was the original like guess? They say two years, quite a few years ago. Yeah. Now it's between like six weeks and three months, depending on the conditions with these nuclear engines, they think, because they can do such a sustained burn, build up so much speed. Because obviously when normally with like liquid fuel or however they're doing it, you go up, you get your trajectory right, you do your burn to start building...

momentum and then you only have so much fuel so you'll stop right you're limited by your your your fuel but with nuclear options because the fuel is so dense and so so so small they can burn for much longer i think and that's why they can build at so much more speed and then you have to obviously do the deburn so you flip the thing around and then start burning again to reduce your momentum before you get to mars as well pretty cool stuff i mean just fold space and time

yeah or this is the crazy thing we can imagine ways of doing it that would save so much time why can't we do that we can imagine all sorts of things we can I don't think we have enough energy to do it I think that's the secret

Societies are like anthropological like anthropologists say that like society's advancement is based on energy abundance right the more energy you have the faster you develop the more you can do so one day perhaps when we're just fucking chucking energy at stuff like you know how we're doing like the LHC like and just like tokamak reactors and shit like that like the stuff that's trying to get fusion going.

One day, I guess we'll just be doing experiments where we're like, what if we just put this up to like a hundred billion degrees? I wonder what physics does at that point, you know? And then maybe we might work out how to make space-time bend or, you know, like, we just can't live long enough to see it all. Do you know there are astronauts stuck in space right now? Yeah. Is there? Yeah. Are they Russians? No. Who are they now? Two American, I think they're both American. Yeah, both American. They've been in space for more than 50 days.

Because there was a miscalculation for the return launch or whatever it is. So they're now trying to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it. They've been spaced for how long? 50 days. Like in the capsule? And I think they were only planned to be there. Oh, they're on the ISS. Are they the last people on the ISS? I think so. I think they were supposed to be coming back a few weeks ago. But the spacecraft is not working.

So they're just waiting. And it could be months that they just have to literally... It's Boeing. Of course it is. So it's a Boeing issue. Which, by the way, the CEO got fired recently. They were supposed to be on the ISS for eight days, but it's been over 50. I'm guessing they have reserve food and shit. There's some holidays where you're like, oh, I'd love to stay longer than eight days. Oh, the flights are cancelled. Boo. That's a shame. I bet they're probably like, I really wish...

We could go home now because I'm stuck in fucking space. Close my eyes on it. They are astronauts though. And they're like, they're like the eternal optimists. Eight days to 50. That's a fucking long trip. I've got so much more science I can do.

I can do now. - Yeah. - Yeah, obviously they'll be like, this is the great challenge of my life. Finally, I'm going to have to endure up here. - They'll make the most of it. - They'll close my eyes and get cosmic radiation into the backs of my eyes. - Yeah. - It's pretty annoying though. - Well, that is the thing, like the knowledge that the longer you're up there, the more damage to your health you're doing. - Yeah. - Like it's just true. But, and I was saying that really, I've told you guys this before, but for those of us on the podcast, I always find this little fact quite interesting.

Zero, like for our blood circulation to work in our bodies, it requires gravity to properly function. We've evolved to have blood circulation systems that take gravity into effect. When you go up into space, it throws things out of whack a bit. And one of the things they've noticed is some astronauts coming back, eyesight was starting to degrade because of a lack of proper blood flow to the back of their eyes. Yeah.

because of the way that the gravity affects it normally. But they noticed that some people didn't have this problem. They were still coming back and their eyesight was fine. And they were like, why is this happening? And they basically found out that there's a gene that means that your blood flow is adequate to the back of your eyes. So if you have this gene, you will have adequate...

it's simply part of the gene's expression, but it meant that for whatever reason, these people's blood flows, their eyes was okay and they weren't getting the degradation. So there's basically a space-faring gene. So are they basically just now going to have to rule out the people who don't have that gene because they're kind of like, well, your eyes are going to get fucked. I mean, it's something they'll take into consideration. It's probably just the risk that... Yeah. Glasses still work. They're like, oh, it's only eight days. I'll be fine. Yeah. Boeing. Oh, is it a Boeing flight? Day 42. They're not an easy jet one I can take. I'm going blind. Help me. Yeah. That'd be awful. Yeah.

And then you get belters, right? If you stay out too long, you get nice long limbs. Proper belters. Yeah. That's a belter. That's a fucking belter. Oh, belter loader. Belter, son. But no, the expanse is a fun place to examine those ideas. That's why I say fun. That's why Bezos built a rocket. Again, a lot of what I said is pretty inaccurate, but roughly on the money, Google this shit if you're interested. Don't just go parroting me because I'm taking this off the dome. I'm not reading anything right now.

Do you think we should be trying to leave rather than fixing our problems here? Absolutely not. Easy question to answer. Sometimes you want a clean slate though, don't you? Oh, absolutely. Sometimes you just want to go, let's go and live on a planet that's poison to us. I just want to live in a hab for the rest of my life. I want to be like those guys up on the ISS, but forever. Well, it could be like the new Catholicism in a way. Let's really punish our new life.

Because we deserve it. Right. So it's like suffering. Suffering and sinning. Yeah. For our sins on Earth. Going and breathing the poison air of the other planets in our solar system. I think it's a bit rough that, you know, we don't have a Site B in the solar system. We don't have another option. We do. We're on the Site B. We used to live on Mars. No, no.

That's where the aliens come from. Life started on Mars, then something fucking happened, and now we're on Earth. Hold on. What? Where does that theory come from? We've been finding life on Mars. What? We've been finding bacterial life on Mars and evidence of old rivers. Sorry, do you think... Would you make love to an alien? Depends. Some of them are apparently like giant fucking praying mantises. Apparently there's a mantis species. There is a... Sorry, what? There's a mantis species...

So if you go, right. If you're talking about, if not on Mars, not on Mars, no, just in general, if you, they're usually the doctors and the medical people. So if you go based off purely, um, again, I'm not saying this, I'm saying it as if it's a fact because it's fun. I obviously don't believe all of this stuff, but I'm parroting what is generally the scenes idea of, of,

of what it is so a lot of um experiences as i think they call them like people who claim to have had um abductions or or interactions with uh non-human entities um often describe similar things one of the really common ones i can't remember what they call them but they're like scandinavian looking people so they're like um what they this that old woman you know i sent you guys a clip that time of that woman in the 70s it was just like it was bloody weird i don't know why they were there

they were there which I think is one of the most convincing accounts I've seen that as well as the pilots because it was just this English woman from like the 60s or the 70s giving a TV interview about how these aliens ran returned up our house in the middle of nowhere and it just it just doesn't she doesn't seem like a grifter she may be the greatest grifter in the world but she didn't benefit from it financially she

she was just a bit like, what the hell is this thing? It was a really interesting account, but she said that they were very beautiful. They looked like Lord Farquaad, you know, with like the kind of like hair that came down with curlers. And they were both wearing these blue sort of semi-tight silvery suits. Is it pre-Shrink? Yeah.

Yeah, pre-Shrek. This was pre-Shrek. So she didn't say Lord Farquaad. There's no bias there. But she didn't say Lord Farquaad. So these blue silvery suits, right? Which like three other people from all over the world have also described. These people, these sort of slightly beautiful beings in these blue suits, right? This has happened. The other thing that people have commonly reported, and this might just be because this is like a phobia or for horror films back in the day have used like close-ups of like praying mantises and stuff.

But multiple people have said they have seen a humanoid-sized praying mantis either over them on a table or all sorts of other wacky shit, right? And it's just, the thing is, right, this sounds insane, but multiple people have said these things and they're unrelated over different periods of time. It's the unrelated part which is the most convincing because if they are all describing the exact same thing, they're all from different places. And they're not all on Reddit. They've never spoken to each other. Yeah, this is from like the last 50 years, 60 years. They're not all on Reddit.

like reading the same thing. Like, again, like this could so totally be nightmares, night terrors, dreams, like all these things completely much more likely it's going to be that. I just think it's interesting that these people are all having nightmares and dreams about the same things. Um,

Anyway. Yeah. It's so bizarre because it's like... There's going to be a common thread to all of it and it's probably... And some people just believe... It's probably media. The things that they come up with their own head. Absolutely. There's so much of that. Or like, yeah, someone tells them something or describes something and they're like, oh, yeah, no. And they just believe it. It's like those interviews I was saying to check out the people going around these MAGA things and just...

some of the stuff they say is just so hard to believe that they believe that. But they genuinely believe these things that they're saying and they don't know why they believe them. And then when they ask for a little bit of backup, they just don't know. And it's just those are the people...

In the world. I saw one. It's not nice, but it is a guy in a red hat, an old guy with his wife. And he says, in California, they're allowed to abort eight weeks after birth. Yeah, well, that's it. Yeah, yeah. What? I was like, what? Yeah. So...

After you give birth, you can kill a... There's a legal law in California that you can kill a baby eight weeks after they've been born. It's the weird confidence they say it with. I want to extend it to like 35 years. It's the strange confidence they say these things with. And it's just like, God, like... Facebook? It's all over Facebook. It's all over the media. No, they...

The interviewer was already like, did you hear about this on social media? And he was like, there's so many legitimate news outlets that I heard this from that I couldn't even tell you one. The fun one that I always like is...

you need to do your own research. Oh yeah. Because you can always find what you're looking for when you do your own research. That's why you can always find a source that agrees with you. And I understand that I've just been talking about wacky alien shit, by the way. I know I'm not oblivious to that, but yeah, absolutely. You can always find something to back it up. Some guys said that exact same thing. You gotta do your own research. Just before that, he said like, oh, there's this mantra thing where you have to read it. Like I've encouraged everyone to read it. He's like, oh, have you read it? He's like, no, I haven't read it. But you have to, otherwise you're just a sheep.

And, you know, just do your own research. Just do your own research. To be clear, you haven't read it, right? But you haven't read it. He's like, no, no, I haven't read it yet. But I encourage everyone to. That was it. Yeah, you've seen the clip, right? It's like...

Where do these people come from? It's so baffling. You can't reason with an unreasonable person. It's just that they fully believe that they're right. And so like the education is so important. It's like, it really is. And there was a presenter on yesterday saying that if you vote for Kamala Harris, if a man votes for Kamala Harris, then they'll turn into a woman. He said it.

On a live broadcast. He's a famous presenter on Fox News. He just said that as if that's a fact. Yeah, but they're famous for... I know, but it's just that's so outrageous. It's so weird to say that. Is it not? It is weird. I'm over the weird now though. I'm over the fact that the stuff they say is just absurd. I know, but it just seems like... How can you satirize these people? Yeah, I know. It's just like, oh, they've already taken my joke. Fuck. I tell you who is satirizing it well and you're completely right. So for a long time...

we've been trying to take the high road i say we people on the other side the people who don't think fox is normal news yeah um for a long time you're like okay this is mad but we can't go down to their level and start flinging the same shit i think something that's been noticed in the last year or two is actually if you get people who are intelligent and witty to start flinging shit it actually does get under people's like it does it is kind of semi-effective and i do think that like people like john stewart and stuff are like

pretty good at satirizing these people and trying to show them the error of their ways but more often they literally just show them saying stuff and that's enough to be like god they also actually just say that yeah and it's like they believe that and it's just so bizarre call them weird they hate being laughed at is yeah exactly I think like the

that's what for a long time we were like no we do not want to lower to their level but then it's like no don't you're a strange fucking dude you're standing there spouting nonsense shit in your pants i don't respect you you fucking weirdo you know like yeah it depends but then you have people who literally just die hard it's it's

Red versus blue. You're being weird. If you don't go to them instead, like, oh, but haven't you thought about the fiscal thing of this? They're like, ah, that's made up. Oh, don't you care about this, this? Oh, no, that was framed. You go, well, you're weird, aren't you? Why? Why do you say I'm weird? Well, because you're with, like, this really weird minority of nutcases. Why do you want to do that to this country? I thought you were a patriot. I am a patriot. Well, patriots would want our country to go on, not be destroyed by some fucking idiot.

It's so bizarre. Again, I think it's just a lack of education in certain places. Same in the UK, by the way. Of course. People listening going like, why are you saying we get fucking US politics poured down our throat now? Yeah, you see it all. Obviously, it's just there's an election running up everywhere in the media. Yeah. The kids' style was kind of boring by comparison.

Well, this is it. But then also, I've heard people say, oh, I don't want to vote for Keir Starmer. He's boring. It's already a born, born fest. I need more drama on my TV for my politics. That's what your choice is based on? How boring your fucking... The American one got shot at. Yeah. That's way more exciting. Oh, he's too busy reading books and trying to get the things done right. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boring bastard. Get him off. Easy to duck when you're crouched over a book. It's so weird. It's so weird, isn't it? The world we live in. Anyway, there's... I think things are going the right way, though. Generally, I think it's a positive thing. I think that we've dodged a lot of bullets in the last year, this year included, in Europe. I think we've been hit by several bullets, though. Well, some of us have...

It's just about dodged bullets. Yeah. I think the country's taken a riddling. Oh, yeah. We're getting absolutely blasted over here. And then we're just kind of crawling out the trenches now. Yeah. And then the guy with the gun that was like trying to finish us off. Yeah. It's instead holding a tax bill. Yeah. Yeah, we got to pay for all the shit those guys were doing for the last 10 years. It's like, oh, do we? So they will go up. Yeah. It's just like...

Yeah, very bizarre. Anyway, a man in Vietnam inserts a live eel up his rear, punctures his colon and survives. That's pretty good news. Puncturing his colon as well. That eel is working hard. It was pretty weird. How the hell do you puncture a colon? Well, let's find out. A 31-year-old Indian national in Vietnam nearly lost his life after inserting a live eel about 65 centimeters long into his anus. Wow. That's a pretty big eel. What motivation do you think you would ever have to do that to yourself?

It's like a living dick. I don't even think, I don't, it's like a living dick. That's your rationale. That's what you're saying. It's like, well, it's like a living dick. I was like thinking like, why would somebody do that? Because it ain't coming out, it's going in and that's it. But a penis goes in there. It's just like,

like solid right it doesn't like it doesn't like waggle around and all this crazy shit feverishly trying to find food and shelter no it's not it's not trying to i mean obviously this is abhorrent because it's poor old creature that's been having this done against its will but i think this creature may have got its own back here by puncturing this motherfucker's colon um yeah he rushed to the emergency department complaining of uh

severe abdominal pain. Something's wrong. That's gotta be just, I just don't, how'd you get to that point? Fucking idiot.

And also... Horny people, man. Horniness is usually the answer. The fact that also probably would have been a process to get it in as well. So during that process, you're like, well, there's nothing wrong with what I'm doing. This is all fine. I'm going to be fine at the end of this. He also is so slimy as well. Has he thought about an exit plan? Did he even tie a string on the end of it in case he wanted to pull it back out? Or like a dead man switch where he detonates it just in case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's raining too much!

kill it you hear it pop and it's little brain blows up and it's like no I'll just poop it out just wait do it a few hours I've definitely thought this through like I don't think that any of that thought process happened during the the opportunistic horniness isn't it you get taken by the moment and then like an eel it's kind of like a guy that's prone to a burglary sees like some gold inside a car and they're like

I'm right here and it's right there. I will smash that car window and get the same things. Like there's an eel right there and I am really horny. Yeah. I just think that like some people never, they get to that age, 31, did you say? And they just still haven't had a good lesson. Yeah. And that, unfortunately, I think the later you get the lesson, the worse the lesson is, isn't it? Like,

for many things. Yeah, that's so weird. So just put one up your ass early, I reckon. But they had to open the abdomen separately to get out. They couldn't go in through the anal. Was it alive still? Because eels can breathe air. So the eel had bitten through the patient's rectum and colon to escape into the abdominal cavity. That's fucking crazy, man. After removing the eel, the doctors also extracted a lemon through the anal. Oh, and a lemon. Oh, yeah.

I didn't know that was a part of it. I just saw a lemon. Okay. Oh, we

Oh, we've had 11. Oh, and 11, which seems much less weird now we take the eel out. I was drinking a Coke and I wanted a little something on the side. I thought it might chase the... Eels hate lemons, don't they? Eels, yeah. It was a twofer. Send the lemon in, send the eel to get it out. I need to give it something to chase. And when it bites the lemon, which is the hope in my deluded state, I'm hoping that the eel bites the lemon, spritzes some of that citrus in me and that feels good somehow. I don't know. Anyway, it tried to kill me. Oh my God.

Are you telling that story to anyone? Holy shit. Would you tell that story to anyone? I can't believe that was just inserted in there. Well, I meant in the story. Was the eel alive when they got it out? That's a very, very good question. Upon checking, there was no other foreign objects. The perforation in the rectum and colon was sutured.

However, due to the high contamination of the rectum and the presence of fecal matter in the abdominal cavity, the doctors decided to create a colostomy bag to prevent feces from passing through the newly sutured perforation. Was it alive? Was it alive? Was it alive? It's clever, really. According to the doctors, many people, especially young men, have a tendency to seek unusual sensations using sex toys. I don't think you can call an eel a sex toy. That is an unusual sensation.

Do you think they're awesome? You can call anything a sex toy then, I guess. If you're brave enough, is that the term? You can just... Anything's...

Yes, anything to say to you if you're brave enough. Yes, including a pineapple. If it's sentient or not, it doesn't matter. How long have we been running for now? Is this a full hat shot? I don't know. We're just desperate to move away from the anal. I've got one final thought. Doctors, right? Yeah. It was alive. They got it out alive? Sick. Unreal. Fuck me. That's amazing. Prepping somebody for surgery and going through all that, that must have taken hours. That guy had a living eel in him for some time. What the fuck, man?

Oh, God. Well, it was biting his way out to get out of there. Full-on alien experience. Like, you are literally, like, doing an alien. That's a gas buster right there. He was feeding on him. I know. Why? God damn it. God damn it. We should name that. Why don't they just say, like, DN Army, I've stuck an eel up my ass. It's a weird thing to do, isn't it? So, a guy like that comes in to the ER, and you're a doctor that's already had, like, a...

Terrible surgery like an awful day And you kind of at your wit's end you've been shouted at by you know patients and things you've lost every single your patients that day sure I mean, it's not your fault, but no you know they just came in with too many things up their asses Yeah, and they just died you lost three ketchup bowls. You're a specialist in ass extraction You've got to see like certain situations where a person comes in it's just not worth my skill set yeah, I

Why did I learn? I think you just, yeah, you just have to do it. It's like the effort I'm going to have to go through to save this fucking idiot's life. Yeah. You just have to do it. It's not, I don't think, they don't think about the, I mean, I shouldn't be a doctor. If anything, it's probably more interesting than the average, you know, thing they have to do. Yeah. True. The only guy that can technically be counted as an aquarium.

Do you know that marmots are a pest risk for cars in certain parts of the country in America? Marmots are not monkeys. They're like little, they're kind of like beavers.

A marmot. A marmot. Yeah, yeah. They're like little beavers, yeah. Basically, people have been told to wrap the bottom of their cars in tarp if they're parking in certain areas like Yosemite. Oh, marmots. They're a bit like prairie dogs. Yeah, from spring through mid-summer, the marmots of Mineral King have been known to dine on radiator hoses and car wiring. They can disable a vehicle. On several occasions, the marmots have not escaped the engine compartment quickly enough and unsuspecting drivers have given them rides to other parts of the parks.

several as far as South Carolina. So they spread the marmots to there. And so there's just spreading marmots around, which is clearly feasting. I think they're feasting on like, yeah, the rubbers, the rubbering, like hosing. So if you're driving through these places, they're just going to be like, Ooh, bit of rubber.

You obviously don't want to eat the ones that have been eating all the rubber. But yeah, like South American cultures eat plenty of these things. Not necessarily marmots, but like species of these kind of rodents, you know, like the bigger rodents. They eat them like crazy. And maybe we just need to start roasting up a few marmots. How would you do a marmot? Barbecue marmot. I think spit roast. Yeah. They're quite small. Yeah. So I get like three of them on a spit roast at the campfire or something like that.

- You joke, right? So I watch a Canadian outdoor camping channel, right? Where they just go for a month and just stay in the Canadian Rockies and just fish and catch and cook their own thing. It's one of the things they eat quite a lot of, are these kind of things. And so they slingshot them. - Oh, wow. - Just imagine, we say this, we're like, "Yeah, yeah, I could probably, if I went to South America and they had one of these things, they had it done up nice and cooked it properly, I'd be like, "Yeah, I'd try that, that'd be interesting."

But if it was me and I just slingshot the equivalent of like just a fucking hamster to death.

three of them right and then what they do they skin them right they roast them first and then their heads and all that sort of stuff they put in a soup and then they just leave the soup on a low boil for like five days and then they just eat the soup when they don't catch anything because they're getting so hungry when they don't catch fish or don't see any more of them so they're like oh got a few more heads in here and it's the grimmest thing in the world like just imagine going to like a uk country park killing a few animals and then surviving on the manky stew you've made of them for fighting

It makes all the politics and stuff seem quite trivial. Yeah, when you've just got to feed yourself with rodents in a pot. Because realistically, that's all we'd be able to do. Because we don't know how to slaughter and butcher a large farm animal, do we? We'd be stuck on the little things that we'd be able to kill ourselves with rocks. Rabbits and stuff. Exactly. And it would be a grim existence. Yeah. It would be. They said don't wrap your vehicle in chicken wire. It's no longer advised.

What the hell? Who the fuck is wrapping that in chicken wire? Well, they recommend tarps. So you put a giant tarp out, drive onto it, and then you wrap your car like a burrito. That's fucking crazy. Because they'll literally just... It's obviously a big enough issue that they've had to... This is a government website. This is a National Park Service website. Why don't they just employ rangers to be marmot bashers? Sequoia and Kings Canyon, yeah. Cool.

Just get the rangers out there with shotty's. We didn't have any issues with marmots, did we? We didn't. Well, we gave the rental back. It might have been chewing through it. Could have done. We might have just given it back with its last legs. We didn't use chicken wire. It's because they can find ways around the chicken wire. That's the issue. But obviously, that was probably previously the recommendation. They might be able to chew through it. Just tarp. That's the thing with marmots, though. You love them when you hate them, don't you? Yeah. Yeah.

That's my mic. And the other thing I saw, which wasn't really funny, is it's more annoying news. I've heard about this. That Logitech has an idea for a forever mouse that requires a subscription.

How do you picture that? It just sounds like you're forever paying for a mouse. Yeah. It sounds like you're just paying constantly for the mouse you bought. It's like HP Instant Ink, which has come under a lot of fire for being really exploitive and shit, where instead of ordering ink cartridges by the bit, you pay like £3 a month, which sounds like a great deal. And then you realise you're not using anywhere near as much as you think you would. Why is it so expensive? And if you stop your Instant Ink, you can't use the current Instant Ink cartridges in your thing as well. So you have...

Why is it so expensive? It's always been expensive. Because they can control it. It's literally just that. And then it's never really full. It's like diamonds. It's never really a full... It looks, oh, I got the bonus one. It's like, oh, so you've got a pretty mill. It's always so notoriously just janky. I just don't want to print it. Why is that? It's because it's difficult to actually print things properly. It is.

It is. If you think about alignment, printing is quite a complex process. And to have a machine that automatically does it, that a user loads themselves, that's why printers are so finicky. Because they have to get alignment right every time. The things I'm printing, three dimensions. You can create a gun, man. We've had decades of 2D printing. It should be better than this. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, no, you're right. Do you think you can print your home?

Yeah, people have 3D printed homes. Yeah, I know they have. Well, yeah. It's a machine that just goes along and prints a template out. Yeah, just spits it out. That's pretty cool. Do you think it's the future? I think it's a viable, low-cost...

to certain situations, yeah, I don't think it's the future for housing because it comes with its caveats as well. Literally, there are, you can see the filament lines and you're not going to get a flush wall. I'm guessing you can fill that up. You've done the bulk work. Yeah. I think insulation could be a good option because obviously we build cavity walls in this country. It depends on where our country lives. Yeah, Grand Design has shown that where they build

have like a hollow shell of like, I don't know. Yeah. So you build two walls and then turn a wall and then turn a wall. There's a gap in between and you just fill it for the liquid insulation. But yeah, is that cheaper? Cause then you need to get a heavy machine on site. You need to get that liquid to site. Is that cheaper than just buying stacks and stacks of insulation? Are they more expensive to build a house out of actual Lego?

Of course it would. What's his name? James May did do that. James May, yeah. I think they relied on people donating blocks, but it's so expensive. If you ever wanted to just buy a few of one colour, you're spending hundreds. Can you imagine the creek trying to go up a staircase made of Lego as well? That sound of...

You know, like when Lego's taking strain. You're going up a staircase. You're like, at any point, this is just going to go. Is it fully supported? And I'm a purist. I don't glue my Lego. No. Well, they do in fucking Lego land. I know they do. Those master builders have to glue it all in place. I guess I've got to make sense of it. It does. Kids will start breaking it apart. Oh, I got a little piece. But yeah, it's a bit fucked up, isn't it? They should just use weight.

They should make it. The weight should hold it together. You'd be fucked if you built it wrong. And you superglued it. What, as a master builder? As a master builder, yeah. Oh, that's the left side, not the right. I hope they build them hollow as well because doing all the middle bricks seems pointless. I wonder if they do. Have you been to Legoland? No. No. I don't think I've ever gone. What do they do there? Legos.

Well, it's like a theme park. It's a theme park, yeah. But it's got Lego in it. There's a part of it that's never looked appealing to me. It's the fact that... And I love Lego. Yeah, I don't know why. I love Lego. Because you'd rather go to a different thing. Because the fun of Lego is having Lego for yourself, not going to a theme park of Lego, right? Yeah, seeing pre-built stuff. Yeah. I think that's the thing. That's the end where it's like, oh, now what do I do with it? It was the building that was kind of like the fun part as well. Although some people, I suppose, don't enjoy building. They just like having a model maybe. Do they? Yeah.

Yeah, like a model of that thing to look at. To display and play with and create. There's lots of stages to it, isn't there? But I don't do it because I'm not very good at it and it actually doesn't stimulate me very much. Anything that involves an object that's been broken down in a smaller part in order to make a job, I'm like, this is stupid. It's like puzzles. Puzzles are just pictures somebody's messed up. But you enjoy Warhammer though, which is obviously like... I guess you don't really feel... I like the finished product of Warhammer. I don't actually like...

It's occasionally, it's cathartic. It's nice to do the odd model, right? So like when you have like the odd theme, but yeah, when you're doing armies, it's just like, yeah, I need actually like 20 of these. Yeah. Just painting a detail model, but you can do that with anything. It doesn't have to be Warhammer, you know, that that's, that's nice and cathartic. But also, yeah, I've got terrible hands. Shake it. Awesome. It's just, I've got to get this pupil, right? Dot. He's got a fucking nose. Yeah. I've never painted a Warhammer model.

I like the idea of it more than actually doing it. And also the expense. I have done it. We've got a literal warehouse. This is like the perfect environment. It's expensive to get into. No, not if you 3D print them. Well, you've already spent the money on a 3D printer. Yeah, but it's going to be cheap for you, isn't it? Yeah, true. I've already got the tools.

anyway what else did we do we uh we played battle for middle earth recently i thought it was maybe worth mentioning that because it was pretty good sure a good nostalgic hit there's several videos on our channel now of battle for middle earth 2 the strategy game from 1997 it's from 2006 2007 2006 bear in mind it's a network-based game it's still required the internet to go well he didn't require it but we did use it um

I remember it was dial-up. My friend had to constantly ask his mum to get off the phone so that he could play about the middle of it. That bitch. This game still holds up though. It does still hold up. It's fun, but I mean, it is also nostalgic. It's not very balanced. I didn't think.

But it's been good to go back to some old school stuff. We'll probably do some more, but I think we're going to find some interesting mods and themes. Indeed. It's been good to have an old-fashioned bashing. Indeed. And we're going to be doing that again soon with other games like PS2-era games. So if you're interested in not just listening to us as a podcast, come check out the Hat Films YouTube channel.

to see some of that cool stuff. Yeah. Like Battle for Middle Earth and Olympics Athens 2004. Yeah. And we'll play with mice that we bought once and never have to buy again. It seems odd. I didn't read I didn't go through the full article here but it's silly. Mice last a long time don't they? I think we've still been through a few like this is talking about charging for like software updates. What else? What the fuck is that?

It's that's a constant. We're fucked in the future for software. I don't think it ever will be. I think this is what's interesting is like you need to have such market dominance in order to make people subscribe to your shit. I don't think Logitech has that face about. I don't think Logitech has that. There are so many other mouse brands out there. Just buy a different mouse. How much is a different? Oh, it's about three quid a month. Oh, that's doesn't sound that bad. But I'm still just going to buy one.

I think what's interesting is it does give accessibility to people. And I think that's true for many, many things when it comes to subscription models. It gives you access to things. It's like Game Pass, right? Yeah, Game Pass. It helps when you want to play a game with friends and you may not have bought it.

The Game Pass is really good. I mean, we're not sponsored by it, but I used it yesterday. But the problem comes when it's the only option, absolutely. When it comes the only option and you're essentially just held over a barrel of like, once you, it's a bit like being in America with healthcare. Once you lose your job, you don't have access to that stuff anymore. It's weird because it's like, the same applies to like modern mobile gaming as well, where it's all just,

I hate to play it. You play it once and then it plays like 10 hours. What the fuck is this? I'd rather load an emulator with Tetris on it on that, for example. And just play it then. It's just like the old game still works. But the mobile phone games are like massive. They're completely different kind of games. They're habit-forming games. They're just habit-forming games. They want your phone to be like a vape, essentially. Right? Yeah.

so i'm almost annoyed i don't have a game like that on my phone yeah i know i didn't i have no time i used to like be well excited i remember godfinger over the other stuff like that where it's like there's nothing now that strikes me i mean maybe it's just because i'm older a lot of it's been designed and purified to keep you like so into it that's the problem i don't think there are many games that are just fun in terms of mobile i mean i don't look but warframes on it

I think I'm impressed with anyone who can play like Call of Duty and stuff using the touchscreen controls. Like, fair play to you. Because fuck me, I am just an old man. I need a controller or a keyboard. Yeah.

I think that's it. I'm aging out of games. No, you're aging out of mobile games. But we've always got those. Mobile games are the new thing though. That's the first point of access kids have. My niece and nephew try to touch my laptop screen all the time. It's not a touch screen. Every screen is a touch screen to a kid now.

And they're used to it. And that's fair enough. But I can't fucking play Call of Duty with the touch controls. It's all over the place. Although I do kick ass at it. Because people are still shit. Maybe it's because the controls are so shit. I think ultimately, yeah. You're just...

Maybe you're just playing against bots. I think I am. I 100% think I am playing against bots. It's like you haven't made it into the league yet. It's making me feel like I'm doing good. Yeah. And then I put it down and forget it. Yeah. I think if I didn't have a really good PC, I may consider using my phone. I have a plethora of other gaming options. Yeah. Just love my PC, love my big screen, hate my mobile games.

Yeah. Right. Thanks for listening today, guys. We really appreciate you tuning into Hatchette. We appreciate people on Patreon. We appreciate people on Twitch. We appreciate people on YouTube. And anywhere else? Anywhere else you enjoy our... Is there still a Patreon podcast option? Yeah, absolutely. So there's no ads whatsoever. So if you listen to this and there are some annoying ads, maybe in weird places sometimes, those aren't on that version, which is good. On Patreon.

And that supports us in general as well. And also, if you... Like, for example, upcoming, we do have Hattaday Live coming up. What date is that, Chris Trow? August 17th, right? If you had, for example, a Patreon subscription, that would get you a ticket to watch that live. So that...

And the way to find that is to go onto our Hat Films Discord and look for the Scrubscribers channel. There's a process in there to follow that will get you access to that and then when those things go live with unlisted links and things like that we'll get you access to it. Whether you're Patreon, Twitch or YouTube. The easiest place is our YouTube members but we've tried to make it as easy as possible for everyone else because it seems unfair to exclude them and just prioritise members but

those are things there are more things coming up for members as well so don't forget there's another way to support us and also get some clothes on your back at filmsmerch.com there you go cloth up cloth up get some cloth cloth homby cloth get a gift for someone anything with a th now cloth homby broth cloth what was yesterday's uh it was what the fuck was it the material i was picking up it was uh swath swath swath homby swath homby

Thank you for listening, everyone. We'll be back next week. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see. Stay tuned on our Discord. And have a great day. Goodbye for now. Bye for now. Bye.

We're sunsetting PodQuest on 2025-07-28. Thank you for your support!

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