#341 What Is Gaslighting? – Understanding Manipulation and Its Effects
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When we say gaslighting, we mean when someone tries to make another person unsure about their own memory or feelings. Hi, everyone! Thanks for joining me for another episode. I'm Georgiana, your English teacher and founder of SpeakEnglishPodcast.com.

You can subscribe to my newsletter on my website and get the 5 secrets to learn to speak English fluently. And it's completely free. Have you ever wondered if someone intended to make you doubt your own perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events? We call this gaslighting. Today I will talk about this word that is becoming more and more popular.

And with a point-of-view story, you will improve your grammar in context without memorizing rules. Before you start listening, go quickly to my website and get the transcript for free. Visit speakenglishpodcast.com slash podcast. So, where does gaslighting come from?

The word gaslighting comes from a play called Gaslight, written in 1938 by Patrick Hamilton. In this play, a husband tries to make his wife think she's losing her mind. He does some tricky things, like secretly making the lights from the gas lamp in their house dimmer.

And then, he tells her that she's just imagining these changes. This play later became a movie. Nowadays, when we say gaslighting, we mean when someone tries to make another person unsure about their own memory or feelings, similar to what the husband did to his wife in the story. I'll explain a little more about gaslighting.

as it is a subtle, powerful form of manipulation intended to make you unsure of what is real. When someone tries to make you doubt yourself, gaslighting occurs. They want to control how you think, feel, and remember things. For instance, imagine your friend insists they never said something you clearly remember them saying.

Over time, this can lead you to doubt your own memories, and it's not a one-time occurrence. Instead, it's a slow, ongoing process. This manipulation can occur in various relationships with your family, friends, or co-workers.

The individual using gaslighting intends to make you unsure about what is true and have you rely on their version of events. You need to be able to recognize gaslighting. Look out for signs like someone denying they said something. They might also blame you or minimize your feelings.

It's like they're trying to change your story, to make you see the world differently. If you suspect gaslighting, it's essential to seek support. You can talk to someone you trust, like a good friend or family member or counselor. Sharing what you're going through can give you a better idea of the situation and help you feel more confident again.

Always remember that your feelings and memories are valid. Gaslighting aims to make you doubt yourself, but you have the power to stand firm in your reality. By recognizing the manipulation and seeking assistance, you can protect yourself from its harmful effects. Great! That's all for now. I hope you found this topic helpful.

Let's continue with a point of view lesson. I will tell the same story twice, so make sure to focus on the changes. You can find these techniques fully implemented in my premium courses at speakenglishpodcast.com slash courses. Okay, let's start. In a small town, there was a woman named Clara.

She was married to a man named Henry. They lived in a beautiful old house. The house was a gift from Henry's family. Every evening, Henry worked in his study. Clara liked to read in the living room. But lately, Clara saw something strange. The gaslight in the room got dimmer at night. She told Henry about this.

He said, You're just imagining things. The light is fine. One day, Clara found a secret letter in a book. The letter was from Henry, but it was for another woman. Clara was sad and confused. She talked to Henry about it. He stayed calm and said, You are tired and stressed. There is no such letter.

Clara wanted to know the truth. She told her close friend Sarah about everything. Sarah believed Clara. Together, they made a plan. One quiet night, while Henry was working, Clara and Sarah entered the attic. They were shocked. They found boxes full of jewels and letters from different women. Now they knew.

Henry was lying to Clara and stealing these things. At that moment, Sarah turned on a flashlight. Clara saw the gaslight in the living room get brighter. They understood that Henry was changing the gaslight from the attic. He wanted Clara to doubt what she saw and felt.

The following day, Clara and Sarah went to the police. They showed the police the jewels and letters. The police arrested Henry. With Henry gone, Clara felt safe and free. She decided to start a new life. She sold the old house and used the money to open a lovely bookstore in town.

Now, in a room with bright and warm light every day, Clara felt strong and truly happy. In the end, she was very thankful for her friend Sarah's help and her new beginning. Imagine now the same story in the present. Hi, I'm Clara, and my husband's name is Henry.

We live in a beautiful old house, a gift from Henry's family. Every evening, Henry works in his study, while I like to read in the living room. But lately, I've been noticing something strange. The gaslight in the room seems to get dimmer at night. I tell Henry about this, and he responds,

You are just imagining things. The light is fine. One day, I find a secret letter in a book. The letter is from Henry. But it's for another woman. I feel sad and confused. I talk to Henry about it. He stays calm and says, You are tired and stressed. There is no such letter. I want to know the truth.

I confide in my close friend Sarah about everything. Sarah believes me. Together, we make a plan. One quiet night, while Henry's working, Sarah and I enter the attic. We are shocked. We find boxes full of jewels and letters from different women. Now we know.

Henry has been lying to me and stealing these things. At that moment, Sarah turns on a flashlight. I see the gaslight in the living room get brighter. We realize that Henry has been changing the gaslight from the attic. He wants me to doubt what I see and feel.

The following day, Sarah and I go to the police. We show them the jewels and letters. The police arrest Henry. With Henry gone, I feel safe and free. I decide to start a new life. I sell the old house and use the money to open a lovely bookstore in town. Now in my room, with bright and warm light every day,

I feel strong and truly happy. In the end, I'm very thankful for my friend Sarah's help and my new beginning. Great! I like these kinds of stories because they're easy to remember and help a lot with learning English. And humor also makes learning more enjoyable. You can find this method in my premium courses.

Take a look. Visit speakenglishpodcast.com slash courses. Also, if you want to help me share the podcast with your friends and family, that would mean a lot. Thanks. See you soon. Bye-bye.