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cover of episode #343 Saying No Politely and Clearly - Assertiveness 4

#343 Saying No Politely and Clearly - Assertiveness 4

2025/6/13
logo of podcast Speak English Now Podcast: Learn English | Speak English without grammar.

Speak English Now Podcast: Learn English | Speak English without grammar.

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Georgiana:很多人觉得难以拒绝别人,可能是因为不想伤害对方的感情,或者想要保持礼貌。但是,总是答应别人可能会导致压力过大,甚至让人不清楚你的底线。以正确的方式说“不”并不是粗鲁的行为,清晰地说“不”实际上能帮助他人更好地理解你。可以用直接但友善的方式来拒绝,例如说“我很抱歉,我做不到”或者“谢谢你的邀请,但我不得不拒绝”。如果可以,提供另外的时间或选择。最重要的是,使用冷静和友好的语气。说“不”是一项可以练习的技能,从小处开始,使用礼貌的措辞,并保持冷静。通过Sophia的故事,我了解到眼神交流和语气非常重要。当Sophia拒绝经理的周末工作请求时,她感到自豪,因为她礼貌而清晰地拒绝了,并且坚持了自己的立场。

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Many people struggle to say no, whether they are English learners or native speakers. This is often due to a desire to be polite or avoid hurting feelings, but constantly saying yes can lead to stress and overwhelm. Learning to say no clearly is not rude; it's a way to set boundaries and improve communication.
  • Difficulty saying no stems from politeness, fear of hurting feelings, nervousness, or shyness.
  • Constantly saying yes can cause stress and overwhelm.
  • Saying no clearly helps others understand your limits and is not inherently rude.

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Translations:
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Today we're continuing our assertiveness series and we'll focus on something very important. How to say no in English without feeling guilty. Hi, I'm Georgiana and I'm back with a new episode of the Speak English Now podcast. The podcast that helps you speak English fluently with no grammar and no textbooks.

Before we start, get the transcript at speakenglishpodcast.com slash podcast. And if you like this episode, please share it with your friends. Thank you. Why is it hard to say no? Many English learners and even native speakers find it hard to say no. Maybe you don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Maybe you want to be polite.

Or maybe you feel nervous or shy, but always saying yes can cause problems. You may feel stressed or overwhelmed, and people may not understand your limits. Saying no is not rude if you say the right way. In fact, saying no clearly helps others understand you better.

Let's look at some simple and polite ways to say no. Be direct but kind. I'm sorry. I can't do that. Thanks for asking, but I have to say no. You could give a short reason, although it's optional. I'd love to help, but I'm already busy. Or, I can't join because I have another appointment.

If you want, offer another time or option. For example, I can't today, but maybe tomorrow? Or, I'm not available now, but you can ask Sarah. And most importantly, use a calm and friendly tone. Even if you use the right words, your tone of voice is important. Speak calmly and clearly.

Don't sound angry or nervous. Let's do this quick practice. For instance, someone invites you to a party, but you can't go. You could say, Thanks, but I can't come this time. If someone asks for help, but you're too busy, you could say, I'm sorry, I can't help right now. If someone offers something you don't want, you say,

No, thank you. I'm good. Remember, saying no is a skill you can practice. Start small, use polite words, and stay calm. With time, it will get easier. Great! We are going to practice with a mini-story. I'll tell you a short story. Then, I'll ask you questions.

After each question, you'll answer out loud. Then I'll confirm the correct answer. This helps you think in English and improve your speaking. Ready? Let's go. Sofia worked in a small office in Madrid. One day, her manager asked her to give a short presentation in English. Did Sofia work in a bakery? No.

She didn't work in a bakery. She worked in an office. Was her office in Madrid? Yes. Her office was in Madrid. Did her manager ask her to give a presentation? Yes. Her manager asked her to give a short presentation. Was the presentation in English or Spanish? In English. The presentation was in English.

Sofia felt nervous. She had studied English for years, but speaking in public made her uncomfortable. She looked down and whispered while practicing. Did Sofia feel relaxed before the presentation? No, she didn't feel relaxed. She felt nervous and uncomfortable. Did she speak loudly when she practiced?

No, she didn't speak loudly. She whispered. Did she look at her co-workers? No, she didn't look at her co-workers. She looked down. On the day of the presentation, she stood in front of her team, looked at her notes, and started speaking in a very low voice. Did Sofia look at her audience?

No, she didn't look at them. She kept looking at her notes. Was her voice strong and clear? No, her voice wasn't strong. It was very low. Her manager stopped her and said kindly, Sophia, we want to hear you. Look at us and speak with more energy. Was her manager angry?

No, he wasn't angry. He spoke kindly to her. Did he want her to yell? No, he didn't want her to yell. He wanted her to speak with more energy. Did he ask her to look at the floor? No, he didn't ask her to look at the floor. He asked her to look at the people. Sofia took a deep breath.

She looked at one person, then another. She raised her voice a little and spoke more clearly. Did she keep whispering? No, she didn't keep whispering. She started speaking more clearly. Did she start to make eye contact? Yes, she did. She looked at people while she spoke. People smiled and nodded.

Sophia began to feel more confident. Her voice became stronger, and she even smiled back. Did people ignore her? No, they didn't ignore her. They smiled and nodded to encourage her. Did Sophia feel more confident? Yes, she did. She started to feel more confident.

After she finished, her co-workers clapped. Her manager told her the message was now clear. Did Sofia stop in the middle of her presentation? No, she didn't stop. She finished the whole presentation. Did people clap when she finished? Yes, they did. Everyone clapped. Was her message still unclear?

No, her message wasn't unclear. It was clear. That day, Sofia learned something important. Eye contact and tone of voice make a big difference. She practiced every day and slowly felt more confident. Did Sofia learn anything that day? Yes, she did.

She learned that eye contact and tone of voice are very important. Did she stop practicing? No, she didn't stop. She practiced every day. Did her confidence grow? Yes, it did. Her confidence grew more and more each day. A few weeks later, Sofia's manager asked her to help with another project.

This time, he wanted her to work on the weekend. But Sofia had already made plans with her family. Did Sofia's manager ask her to work during the week? No, he didn't. He asked her to work on the weekend. Did Sofia already have plans? Yes, she did. She had made plans with her family.

Sofia felt nervous again, but she remembered what she had learned. She looked at her manager and said, I'm sorry, but I have family plans this weekend. I can't help with the project. Did Sofia stay silent? No, she didn't stay silent. She spoke clearly. Did she say yes to the project?

No, she didn't say yes. She said no politely. Did she speak in a rude way? No, she didn't speak in a rude way. She was polite. Her manager smiled and said, Thank you for letting me know. We'll find someone else. Was her manager upset? No, he wasn't upset. He smiled.

Did he respect her answer? Yes, he did. He respected her decision. Sofia felt proud. She had said no politely and clearly. She had stood her ground. Did Sofia feel ashamed? No, she didn't feel ashamed. She felt proud. Did she speak with confidence?

Yes, she did. She spoke with confidence and respect. That's the end of today's mini-story. Want my step-by-step guide to speak English fluently? Visit speakenglishpodcast.com slash courses and get my premium courses. I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Bye-bye!

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