cover of episode From Partner to Caregiver

From Partner to Caregiver

2024/7/3
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Uncared For

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Kim Moy
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Kim Moy: 作为配偶照顾者,我面临着多重挑战和情感困境。首先,我失去了我爱的人,这体现在认知和个性的逐渐丧失,以及我个人生活的缺失,我的生活完全围绕着照顾她。其次,中风使我的丈夫瘫痪,失去了说话和吞咽能力,生活完全不能自理,感觉我的一部分也随之消失了。此外,我的丈夫还患有脑雾、睡眠问题、慢性疼痛、偏头痛和心律不齐等多种症状,每天都像坐过山车一样。最令人痛心的是,他无法成为他想成为的父亲,他无法像以前那样参与孩子的生活。作为配偶照顾者,我需要面对“模糊的丧失”,即我照顾的人仍然活着,但他们已经失去了他们曾经的样子。为了应对这些挑战,我努力接受现在的生活方式,练习不执着,同时仍然可以悲伤和享受生活。我还积极寻求社区支持,并为自己的长期护理做好计划。

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For years, Kim Moy cared for her kids and husband, while helping to care for her parents – an experience she describes as being in a “pressure cooker.” Being a caregiver to any loved one can be emotionally draining, but caring for a spouse can be a whole new level of lonely. In our final conversation of the season, Kim talks about the tradeoffs of being a spousal caregiver, grieving the loss of someone who’s still there, and how she’s learned to let go of the way things used to be. 

Kim Moy’s Caregiver Wisdom) offers resources and workshops for those who take care of loved ones with chronic debilitating illnesses. Learn about the monthly support group, workshops, and one-on-one coaching here). 

Dr. Pauline Boss coined the term ambiguous loss, which Kim talks about in the episode. Learn more about ambiguous loss and Dr. Boss at ambiguousloss.com). 

This season of Uncared For is presented by the Commonwealth Fund, a nonprofit foundation making grants to promote an equitable, high-performing health care system.

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