Are Mocktails a Scam? ft. Nicholas Hamilton
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I put the pain in champagne. And I put the cock in... Don't finish that sentence. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What?

Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And today we have a very special guest joining us for the pod, musician, actor, TikTok star, and author of the gorgeous book of alcoholic libations, Sipsy Doosy 100 Plus Respectfully Crafted Cocktails for the Home Bartender, Nick Hamilton. Welcome to the show. That was lovely, man. Very, very nice. Thank you. Your book is absolutely lovely. Stoked to have it here. And we are doing a very special episode that is devoted to

both you and your fantastic work and Nicole and your fantastic work in building what you build. That's right. We should call pregnant women bodybuilders. Right, Josh? Whoa, I like that. I agree entirely. Well, we were talking. We wanted to have you on. We wanted to drink because drinking at work is a pastime of ours. But, Nicole, do you call it a condition? Yeah.

No, I don't call it a condition. Your issue? No, enough negatives. It's a beautiful blessing that is growing in my tum-tum. With your beautiful blessing that's growing in your tum-tum, generally... I am about to, it hurts. Do not drink any alcohol. So we are talking about mocktails today. How do you initially feel about mocktails? I think there is a place for them specifically for people like you. People afflicted with your...

Specific kind of beautiful miracle. Exactly, exactly. Yeah, no, I think there's definitely a place for them. I think even like dry January, it's becoming a very, I guess, trendy, for lack of a better term. That only helps. Yeah, yeah. I...

It took me a while to really understand it on a deep level, and I think that was because I did my first sober month. For what I realized was, like, since I was 16, a full month completely sober. No way. You know, you start early. Alcohol is not great for you. It's a poison. However, it is also a beautiful ritual that has existed for tens of thousands of years in human history, and I think it is important. L'chaim.

Thank you. I did like a full sober month and I sort of realized this wonderful placebo effect that when you put time and intention into a drink, you have more fun drinking it around people. And so now I'm fully sold on it. That's great. I mean, I was a I mean, I love to party. I always do. So for me, it was quite a transition to not spend my weekends, you know, going out and grabbing a drink with my friends or with my husband and stuff.

But recently, when I went out to dinner with the Mythical Kitchen crew, I tried my first real serious mocktail. And it was such a revelation. Everyone had a sip and they said, this might be the best drink possible.

on the table. It was incredible, yeah, 100%. It had this beautiful, it had like a lemongrass and strawberry fizz situation. It was very complex, very delicious. And it had a bitter note that I think is really special in certain cocktails. That bitter note almost triggers something in my brain. I'm like, I'm drinking alcohol. So it made it a very, very easy transition to getting more mocktails and stuff like that. I had a non-alcoholic beer a few days ago.

Yeah, there's a trigger to get right. There's like one or two that are actually fine. I drank a full six pack of non-alcoholic beer on Saturday. Oh, was it? Did it hurt you? Did it hurt me? In the end, yeah. It feels like something that wouldn't be, like, it's full of chemicals, no? Oh,

Oh, I don't know. My body kind of runs on chemicals. I grew up drinking like 7-Eleven Slurpees. America runs on Dunkin' and Josh runs on chemicals. 100%. And so for me, I just had a really great time. And I had just like worked out beforehand. So I was like the carbs in this are just helping me build strong. Thank you so much. Like an 1880s Belgian cyclist with no nutritional information. I want to ask, how did you get into making cocktails? And what is like the guiding ethos behind your book?

So I started making drinks when I moved to the States, like seven years ago. You can't even tell you have an accent anymore. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Were you from Portland, Seattle? Yes, like in between. On the border. I moved to New York end of 2021, and I was already a big fan of making drinks. And I just moved into my new apartment. I was going to go out to a – it was the opening of Mrs. Doubtfire on Broadway. Oh, yeah.

Cool. I've just been invited out. Right on. It was incredible. So I was wearing a suit and I was going to make a drink anyway, so I decided to make a video, as we do, and edit it on the way to the show, posted it, woke up the next morning and it had, I think, over a million views. Damn. That was, yeah, three and a half years ago. Incredible. Started making the book kind of from then.

As for the ethos, I think the main thing that frustrates me about cocktail books is that no matter how kind of rudimentary they are, they expect you to have some sort of knowledge going in. Sure. Whereas so many people, when they buy their first book, I mean, when I bought my first cocktail book, I had no idea what things tasted like. So the beauty and something I really fought for in the design is these flavor tags at the top. They're 15-ish flavors.

flavor tags, we're calling them. Each cocktail is categorized by these three flavors. So if you know that you like fruity tart and bitter cocktails, you can go to the fruity tart and bitter cocktail and you'll know that you'll like that, or at least maybe you'll like that. You're starting with a step up. Right. Because no one knows what Campari tastes like.

But you know that it tastes, if you like bitter stuff or you like herbal or funky or floral stuff. How beautiful. I love that. It's like color coding it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's making it a children's book, which is they didn't like the phrasing of that. Children have a right to drink. That's true. You think in the factories in the 1930s, they weren't getting sloshed? That's true. Oh, God. That's what I'm saying. That's going to be taken out of context on Twitter somewhere. You're in trouble, buddy.

Hey, whatever goes viral. The only cocktail book that I have in my own home is exactly what you're talking about. It's the Death & Co. Cocktail Book, which is an incredible Bible if you already are very, very well-versed in cocktailing. And like little stuff. It taught me how to shake a cocktail properly before I was just really just banging the ice as hard as I could and like do it in a more slidey motion to not fracture it and yada. So it gets really into the myopia of it. Mm-hmm.

But I will never forget like looking up the first three cocktails I wanted to make and I went to my local BevMo, which has a massive selection. Of course, yes. And they didn't have like 80% of the ingredients.

These obscure local Amari that were made in Oshkosh, Wisconsin and have no distribution. These were the first few recipes in the book? No, I mean, there's no beginner section. They are just absolutely hardcore. Death & Co. is like, they are going to make those really, because it's not intended to really be like a first man's...

cocktail book. Interesting. Which I think part of the culture of not only cocktails but any sort of drinking culture of wine and beer, part of it is the exclusivity that people sort of... You talk about this, yeah. Yeah, it almost drives the industry, right? If you have a 100-page wine list and you kind of get confused into spending $400 on a bottle because somebody with salesmanship told you to, I think cocktails are somewhat similar. Yeah, no, I agree. I think there's a...

Unfortunately, there's like a pretentiousness, pretentiosity. Pretentiosity, indeed. That is kind of built into it that I'm trying to kind of, the younger people in the space are trying to kind of go away from that because it is, you know, you hate the, there's the stereotype of this curly mustached guy

beret-wearing guy behind the bar. That was my generation. What are those armbands called? Those like pretty little... They keep your sleeves on. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure there's a purpose to them. I'm going to just say cummerbund, but I know that's wrong. Armourbund. It's an armourbund. It's an armourbund, yeah. Okay, fine. So it's kind of going away from that world. I think especially with the TikTok generation, you're trying to just get the...

I guess the impetus is to get as drunk as possible as fast as possible. We're trying to get away from that. If you are getting drunk, fine, as long as you like what you're tasting. Right. Just don't guzzle down bad vodka. So all of this is fairly rudimentary ingredients, simple techniques, all the ingredients. Like you said, you can either buy very easily or make very easily at home. It's kind of the whole gist. Yeah, yeah. Not to date you, you're a relatively young man, right? That is, yeah. And we can date if you'd like, Josh. That's fine. I'm in. I'm in.

I'm 25. Okay, so do you identify as a Gen Z? Yeah, weirdly, I think I'm squarely in Gen Z, but the older I get, the more cuspy I become. Yeah. Because I think Gen Alpha is taking over, unfortunately. 100%. It's going to get faster and faster. But no, I think the drinking culture that we grew up in, it was that mustachioed bartender. Of course. Where it was all about, I will never forget one of those mustachioed bartenders pouring me a whiskey and just asking if I can taste the sea salt from the atmosphere.

And I had to go, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's so salty. It mostly tastes like whiskey, but also the atmosphere. Pretty good on this one. Yeah, it's like rain kind of. That's why I love that you people, if you don't mind, you people are sort of like...

making it, you know, more accessible. Demystifying it. Demystifying it. And we're seeing this rise of like disco cocktails come back, right? Yeah, exactly. The espresso martini is just taken over everywhere and nobody knows what's in one. Yeah, well, I mean, that's kind of the whole, no one knows. Every espresso martini you get is wildly different. All I know is that

they get you caffeinated and they get you drunk and that's a pretty good mix whenever you're out of the town some have no coffee in them and do not get you caffeinated if that's the goal is to get caffeinated and get drunk that's totally fine as long as you like the taste of the espresso martini on the way through it's a four loco that's a

It's a four loco. It's a four loco. It's a four loco. It's a four loco. Me and my ex did a full range of the 12 four locos with our friends as like a taste test and ranking thing. I think I died that night. Yeah. I think I'm a second mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're supposed to die after you have a four loco. I think it's kind of made for that. Yeah, it's like reincarnation. You're in purgatory right now on a quest to try and see if you go to heaven or hell and your book tour is somehow the test. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Alright, we gotta get into the mocktail. I'm ready. These are resting. I'm surprised that cream hasn't floated right down to the bottom. So it is totally well. So these lovely gentlemen have made me mocktails that I can taste and see which one I like the most.

So, Nick, if you'd like to explain your cocktail, your mocktail first, go ahead. So this mocktail is, it's a semi-riff on one of the drinks from the book called a London Fog. So it's usually earl grey infused gin, honey, kind of just like tea vibes. Tea and honey are best friends. And then you float a level of heavy cream with vanilla and lavender bitters on top. And it makes it, you know, the diastration? Sure. The diastrates on it is beautiful. Beautiful.

But so now, obviously, I've taken out the gin. Just straight up English breakfast tea. Love it. Honey syrup and a vanilla cream. It's very simple, very nice. Just like a cup of tea, but cold. What would you call this cocktail? This one's called the Burbank Haze. Wow. So that's actually the water treatment center. That's the cloud coming up off of that. Cheers. First impressions, the first thing you get is just this waft of nutmeg. Yeah, sorry, garnish with a beautiful nutmeg. A gorgeous waft of just warm, delicious nutmeg.

I try and sip through the cream to get to the tea. Wow. Oh, that honey syrup. That's really beautiful. I've been eyeing that cocktail as it sat there the entire time. I'm glad it floated because it would have been embarrassing. It is so creamy, dreamy. That honey syrup...

sends it to, like, another level for me. It almost makes it... It's weird. It has, like, not a... I think the nutmeg adds this, like, bitterness. Like I said, like, my brain just said, alcohol! It's very, very crazy how the bitterness just triggers you. And it has this, like...

delicious toasted honey note that's just marrying with that English breakfast tea. It's really good. Awesome. Thank you. It's really good. I try to base a lot of my mocktails with tea because of the tannins. It makes it bitter. The drying, it just feels like it's kind of alcoholy. If you boys want to try it, I would love to. I'm not going strong. I'll offer you guys straws if you want straws. Lips and lips? Lips and lips? Lips and lips. Lips and lips. What's the game kids used to play at parties? Suck and blow. Sorry.

I never went to those kinds of parties. I was in cards. Yeah, no, I kind of stayed in my room. Yeah, yeah. You didn't do that in Portland? You're referring to the movie Clueless. Is that why? I've never seen it. Okay, well. It's upsetting. Can't help you. Yeah, man, that's just simple.

I've never tried it without the gin, obviously, and it just makes it more tea. Thanks, man. It makes it more tea, but also, like, very importantly, I don't feel like I'm just drinking a nice tea. Right. Right? No. Because I think part of the mocktail is a ritual, and if we're ultimately talking about are mocktails a scam, I

I've been accidentally scammed by mocktails because I was on a date with somebody and we were at, it's called Apotec. You know it? Of course I know Apotec. Weirdly pretentiousness. They wear lab coats. They wear lab coats and it's science-y, but it's also kind of like a cool, sexy bar. But we're there and I just am reading this cocktail menu and I see one that just says like,

beet, pomegranate, ginger, something. And I was like, those are flavors I enjoy. I'll get one of those. It came with, you know, garnished with like poinsettias or something. And I drank it and I was like, that was absolutely delicious. And I went and I bought another one and it was $16. And I drank another one. I said, why do I feel bizarrely good and cogent right now? And then I looked and there was no alcohol. They didn't like put a little like asterisk or like a sign? No, it's literally like pretentious enough to where it was still $16. But at the same time,

I watched you make this drink. This is not a fake. He actually went to the kitchen and made this drink himself. He made it in front of us. That's labor, right? If you're in a restaurant, the same amount of labor is going into that cocktail. And even if you are using something like a non-alcoholic spirit, right? Like they make, what is it? Seed lip? Yeah. You know, like those things are expensive because labor and work that is going into that. So there's...

It's not that expensive to make like grain alcohol, right? That's not where the effort or the value is coming in. It's the labor and it's the love and it's the attention and the storytelling in it.

And there's a hell of a story on that Burbank haze. Thank you, man. No, I agree with you. I think the issue is that if you're going into a drinking situation with the idea to get drunk, that's the end goal. Right. You're willing to kind of spend $17 on a cocktail because you know it's tasting a nice cocktail, but you're also getting towards that end goal eventually. Right.

If you're going out, I guess for mocktails, say if you're pregnant or you're sober, like you're going out, I guess more of a social thing, right? You just want to be around people that are drinking and having a good time, but you still want to be involved. Hold something in your hand. Exactly, yeah. So maybe then that $17 price point is worth it for people like that. I think that's totally valid. I think...

There's nothing also wrong with getting a soda water with lime. And that costs four bucks, five bucks? I don't know, in LA, maybe not. Have you ordered a shot of water with lime? A soda water. Oh, soda water. Get a shot of water. Get a shot of water. They're ripping tequila. I was like, who charged you $4 for a water shot? It's the ritual of it all. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think there's nothing wrong with just getting a soda. And I think nowadays, maybe it was more of a faux pas earlier on and people were...

Keener more keen on judging people right? Yeah going away from that. Thank God That's been an interesting sea change is like now I used to be like embarrassed to not order a drink somewhere You'd have to do that. Yeah, you know I'm the DD you have to have an excuse and now you don't know. Yeah 100% Which is cool. I would like to think would that be millennial? No Gen Z did that Gen Z did that. Thank you. Thank you So much. Thank you so much. I'm a customer What's this?

So this is michelada y tuchelada tambien. This is my actual mafia love choice. This is what got me through a month of sobriety. I would go to a brunch with friends and I'd pound three of these

and you look insane. So normally I'd make a virgin michelada with non-alcoholic beer, right? And it tastes roughly the same. Then I realized I don't even need the beer flavor. I just need the bubbles and the soup. And so I, micheladas, for those who don't know, it's similar to a Bloody Mary mix, but if you use a Oaxacan style blend, which we do, I love micheladas. It's a great brand. Shout out to the Lopez family at Galaguetza. But it's like a majority just like

with Worcestershire and chilies and spices and lime and really good stuff. You pour a beer on top of that, rim it with chamoy and tajin, put a lime in it. It's delicious. And so here I present to you the fizzy soup. I'm just going to give this a mix. Sopa frizzante. I'm just going to give this a mix because the ice is so good. In Italian, it's a nice spritz. Sopa frizzante. It is kind of a spritzy. And I know half of the fun is the rim, so I'm just going to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I'm not a huge metal hearted guy. No? No, I can't really do, I don't like gazpacho really. I'm not a cold soup guy. Oh, that's like a grunt of pain or...

Yum. Yeah, and you could tell that the entire way through. Sometimes I would also put a little dash of fresh fish sauce in there. Oh, I didn't do that. Interesting. I didn't do that. I will say this. I don't miss the beer. You're right. You do not. Fizz in the soup. It is so complex and sharp, and it scratches that itch, you know, that Michelada itch. It does the job. Well, do you get the Michelada itch?

No, okay, there's no one here cravings the michelada rich. No, not at all I never specialty shampoo gets rid of it. I never I never crave micheladas But it does it does do its job. It does the job. I think it's really well balanced. It's very complex It's very delicious. You guys should try that it is Frickin good wait Nick. Where are you actually from originally a place called Byron Bay in Australia Byron Bay? What part of Australia is that? I'm just taking a sip. Yeah, take a sip. Take a sip. Oh

Holy shit. Sorry. You know, that's really nice, actually. It is a shock. After the initial punch, it's okay, he can have it. It was supposed to be mine. It's okay, he can have it. That's what you want to hear when you order something. I saved you some. That's mostly backwash. Nicole, it's for the baby. Not anymore. Not anymore, it's not. I'll have some of the rim. It's bracing. It is a shock to your system. Yeah, but it's nice after that. But once you get through that,

I kind of want more. Yeah. Yeah, it is Moorish. I never thought I'd like that. Congrats, Josh. Thank you so much. I feel like my soul is actively being fueled like a video game character who has recovered a sort of health bar. Chug jug. Yeah. The chug jug of cocktails. My husband plays Fortnite. You're so cool. You're so cool, Nicole. Fortnite reference. You're such a cool mom.

Your baby's already in there. You guys could not give me two more polar opposite cocktails to drink. I'm sorry, mocktail. I keep calling them cocktails because it tastes like there's alcohol in both of them. As I said earlier, I didn't put my... Never mind. You were saying? Oh, God.

These are both really different, but they're both really good. And should I tell you guys which one I like the most? Please. Turn everything into a competition. I'm going to take... Well, I mean, I'm a guest. Can you take that out of your... I don't... One thing you should know about me is I will never treat guests any differently. 100%. Awesome. Great. Utterly disrespectful. That's what you spat at me at, so... Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I'm just going to have each one of these again. Nicole's like the guard llama of the building. Literally, who was the first person other than Adelaide you saw? It was me.

They're so different, but so delicious. You know, the delicate balance of this one, of the Burbank Haze, I can't stop drinking it.

You know what I mean? It's such an addictive. This is too harsh for me to have. If I have three of these, I'll get acid reflux and have to go to the hospital. Yeah, so you got to drink four, then it cancels out when you get to an even number. This is too harsh. This is too harsh. It is, yeah. It'll burn a hole in your stomach. The bourbon haze is just delicate and complex enough that you can have like a bunch of these and not feel like you're going to die.

So my vote is Burbank Haze. Let's go. And it's not because you're a guest here. No, I appreciate that. Look, honestly, they're for different purposes, like you said. Yes. That's a complete, that's a dessert cocktail. That's a brunch cocktail. And we'll order one of each next time. Are you feeling okay? I do have a little bit of heartburn after Chuck Neal. I told you you were going to have to come back up. I ate some spicy tacos right before this as well. Oh, okay. So I do see...

I do see the inherent problem with moxie. It's arresting. You're mixing it with cream, too. It's not great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That cream is turned into queso fresco right in the stomach. Oh, my God. I'm going to love it. It's fine. If you wanted to make the Burbank haze slightly more accurate, so I mentioned there's the water treatment facility. Right next to it, though, pastrami factory.

So if you did a kind of like pastrami fat wash on the tea. On the tea. And then maybe like smoked some, dried some pastrami, did a little like pastrami wood chip. Or some coriander and black pepper. And you could do, instead of the nutmeg, you could do some wood chips. I'm glad you guys are having so much fun. Yeah, I'm having a great time. Boy, oh boy. But I'm glad. Thank you so much for the win. You deserved it. You deserved it.

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But do you guys actually think that they're a scam? Like the actual act of putting a mocktail on a cocktail menu with its own section, do you find it to be a scam? Because I'm leaning more and more towards, no, it's not a scam. It's just a fun way to have a libation that's not going to get you drunk. Yeah. I mean, just given the amount of bars that I've been to and the amount now, especially in New York, that are –

growing their mocktail sections of the menus. I think there's obviously needs to be a place for them. I think the difference comes when they are $25 mocktails. I think it's the... The price. The price. And that's, look, if you have the money and you're sober, then that's more power to you. But I think...

It is kind of phasing people out when the mocktails are as expensive as cocktails. You may as well get a cocktail and you'll get drunk in the meantime. Yeah, yeah. I wonder how much of that is restaurants trying to incentivize people to still order liquor. Because if you see a price difference between, say, a $16 cocktail and an $8 mocktail, right? And I know we talked about the labor that goes into it and sometimes it's not feasible. But that's like a big enough difference to where you would be like really influenced. Whereas...

if you saw a $16 cocktail, $14 mocktail, you might just say, screw it, I might as well drink to feel like I'm getting a certain amount of value because I think people still have that in mind. But I don't know. My question anytime someone asks if a restaurant is like scamming them, right, or this place is too expensive, it's like, where do you think that money is going? Yeah, I know. Because like...

The restaurant, the chef ain't getting paid that much. The workers aren't getting paid that much. Rent. They're likely behind on rent, right? Like the restaurant industry is in such peril right now. Their margins are so high. The farmers aren't getting paid, right? The liquor distributors maybe, I mean, but they're all conglomerates, right? So that money is going all the way to the top. It's not the individual, you know, makers of the tomorrows or whatever. Like is it just landlords?

Are we just going to go on like a big communist screed right here? Is that who's scamming everybody? I think that's where we're going with this. Landlords are a scam. Do I have to be a communist? No, you don't have to be a communist. I suppose we don't have to be. That's a good point. I came in here thinking that we needed at least one thing that came from a communist viewpoint. Wrong podcast. No. Different podcast. Hot dog is a communist. That's two doors that way.

Have you guys ever had like a marijuana-based drinks or like kava drinks? Yeah, yeah, like the THC CBD ones. How about the kava drink? Have you ever heard of that one? It's like a new, it's like the nouveau kind of drink that's like supposed to make you feel giggly and cool and like it has like almost like a hypnotic effect on you. I've never had it. There's a bar in Santa Monica that is a, not, there's kava, the Spanish sparkling wine. Yeah. This is just like, this is a root from somewhere. K-A-V-A, yeah, yeah.

From the Pacific Islands, I think. Because kava, if you go to Fiji, and they'll do like a ceremony. And I remember my dad and I did that once, and we didn't leave the bathroom for the rest of the trip. No way. I think we just had bad kava. Wait, what was the actual physical effect? Was it psychoactive? It was, no. I mean, it was just purely like a, I think,

We were staying at an all-inclusive resort, so I'm sure they were just trying to scam us out of something, which more power to them. But we were all sitting in a circle and we had the little wooden bowl of kava and they were doing the chants and then we...

We had a Carver each, and I think it was probably like the second day on like a father-son trip to Fiji. And then, yeah, for the next five days, we were in a bad way. Just kind of stomach issues. So I say we go to this Carver bar in Santa Monica, and we just go shot for shot on Carver. I think we do, yeah, until there's no bathroom. Give me like a few months, and I'll be there. But I think it's cool how people are doing non-alcoholic, alcohol-based drinks at the same time. It's like the feeling of being drunk again.

With a little asterisk on it. It's like almost drunk, but not really. Yeah, we talked to a chef named Andrew Zimmern recently who was like he was an alcoholic for many years and really, really destroyed his life. And he brought up an interesting point. If alcohol had never existed and somebody was trying to introduce it to the FDA or USDA today to get it approved for human consumption.

No way that it would pass. Like you just, you know, go through all of the physiological effects, what it can do. Liver disease. And then drunk driving deaths. Like it's utterly insane that we do this. I cannot stress this enough. I love drinking and I think I have a pretty healthy relationship with it. That's good.

There's a strong case that the reason humans were roughly able to cooperate and coalesce together is because of the power of alcohol allowing what shuts off part of your frontal cortex or something or other. One of the brain. I'm going to guess. I've drank too much. I'm too stupid. But, you know, so I really do love drinking. But, yeah, having some sort of alternatives to still make you feel a little bit different. Yeah. I actually had a mocktail. I remember maybe it was like 50%.

three years ago and they put buzz buttons in the cocktail. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It was so crazy. And it's like, it has like this, sometimes when you drink too much, your mouth does go a little tingly. So I was like, Ooh, this is so cool. Like they are, they're finding all these really interesting attributes to being drunk, but they're editing them in ways that are not going to be harmful to you, quote unquote harmful. And I just think that's very, very interesting to be alive and,

during a time where these things are readily available to us. I would love to see more legal stimulant-based drinks. Yeah? Like what? So you got...

So, cot is a leaf that exists around, like, you know, like the Levant Middle East area. And people will, you know, one just kind of, like, pack a lip of it. But then also they make cot juice that they also happen to call natural Viagra. But just because it's a stimulant because that's what Viagra is, right? Sure. For any of you who didn't know, originally it's supposed to be a heart medication because it stimulates blood flow. I knew that. I knew that. I didn't know that. And so, cot, like, that exists or just, like,

juicing the leaf of the coca plant in South America. We need to legalize that in America. Alcohol is a depressant. No, man, I want to be stimulated out there. Yeah, man, I want a boner drink. I want a boner drink. Give me a boner drink. Maggie, I want a boner drink. Make boner drinks legal in America. I feel like she's not seeing the vision here. I said I want a boner drink.

Boner drink. What's the big freaking deal? I'm one of the guys. I do remember us saying that. I'm cool. I like pizza, beer, touch my butt. Fortnite. I made a Fortnite reference today, guys. Guys drinking beers, that's out. Guys drinking boner drinks with each other, that's absolutely it. Yeah, that's cool. Just guys being dudes. I'd be into that, man. I'm all in. Come on. If you had one desert island cocktail, one cocktail to rule them all, what's your favorite single one and is it in this book?

It is in a way. So I have 20 classics and 80 originals in the book. Jesus, that's a lot of originals. It's too many. It's too many. So 20 classics. I mean, if I go out to a bar, any bar that's kind of worth its salt, I'll try to order the weirdest thing on the menu because then I can't make it at home and I'm spending $20 on a cocktail that I can't make at home.

If I'm making something at home, it's so more often it's going to be a classic. Like, I mean, a big Negroni guy, a big Boulevardier guy. It would probably be a Kingston Negroni, which is Jamaican rum in place of the gin in a Negroni. It's so funky and so fruity and banana-y. It's bang on. Wow. Damn, I'm a huge – I've been ripping a lot of Jungle Birds recently. Yeah. What's a Jungle Bird? This is an Australian riff on the Jungle Bird. Oh, shoot, look at that. It's called the Bin Chicken.

Have you heard of an ibis bird? Yeah. In Australia, they dig through bins and eat your fries and no one likes them. They're called bin chickens. We call them bin chickens. What makes it Australian? It uses Australian whiskey and Hamilton rum. Nicholas Hamilton. Nice. But it uses a split base of whiskey and rum instead of just the rum from the jungle bird. I love a jungle bird.

Can we have him back on here to do just like a proper cocktail taste test episode? Yeah, in a few months. Here's the thing. I love mocktails. In a few months. Wish I was Rip Shit at work right now. You just got to wait a few months. Wait until the end of the year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My desert island cocktail. Oh, my God. Where's the island? Where's the island? Switzerland. Oh, what?

There's Swiss islands. Go with it, dude. Come on. Americans don't really get taught geography, so she might actually think that there's Swiss islands. We're just kind of guessing. It was the first country we came from. You asked me a question, I answered the question. I think of like, what's that one movie? Wilson! Come on. Castaway. Yeah, Castaway. If I were to be on a Castaway-esque island, it would have to be...

A really spicy, salty margarita. Yeah, nice. But not made with mezcal because I don't like mezcal. You're not a mezcal? I hate mezcal. Okay. But I do love other forms of smoky yumminess, but just not that. But yeah, it would probably be a margarita, salty af, like...

Salty as F. Salty as F. Right. And like, why are you laughing? And like so much jalapeno that it's almost going to ruin my GI tract, but not really. Really? You claim the michelada, the sopa fritante is too spicy for you. Because you're out here drinking pure salsa and fire. It was arresting. It was an arresting flavor. It wasn't good to drink. If I'm on a desert island, I'm on a podcast right now. If I'm on a desert island-

Honey. Yeah, that might be good on a desert island. Maybe it's the Serpa Frisanza. It's a deserted island. I've been saying desert island. It's impossible to know. I've been saying desert island. It's salty at the bottom. It's a deserted Swiss island. It's mostly salsa at the bottom, yeah. Oh, man.

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The Epic, a Minecraft movie on Macs. Anything you can imagine is possible. The Disney Plus Hulu Max Bundle. Plans starting at $16.99 a month. All these and more streaming soon. Terms apply. Visit DisneyPlusHuluMaxBundle.com for details. All right, Nicole and Nick, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a little segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles. All right, Nick, let's fire up that first opinion. Hi, this is Robin from Fort Collins, Colorado.

My food hot take is that soy sauce is delicious on its own. I will shoot it like a shot. I will drink it by the spoonful, by the shot. Don't even need like rice or anything to go on it. Just wanted to hear what you think. Thank you.

That is technically a mocktail. Nick, what do you think? Yes, in a way. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I like that a lot. I'm a big, I'm not, I got into the dirty martini world very late. So like, I love olives now and it's just, I'm kind of getting into it. But yeah, I mentioned that I had a vodka martini with a dash of soy sauce at a rooftop bar that wasn't very good. But I love, I love like, I'm a condiment guy. You a condiment? I love condiments. I'm a condiment, I'm a condiment man. Always. Condiment. And I'm not a condiment man.

Condiment man. I think you should be both. I think both are on the right side of history. No, that's a good point. I guess I am, yeah. Safe condimenting. Anyway, we'll move on. Yeah, I'm a big fan of that opinion and I think I'll start doing it. I think it probably helps your GI tract or something.

Yeah, I think it was. Nope. This is you have an iron deficiency and you need to go see a doctor. If you're craving super salty things like high volumes of salty things, I think it might be an indicator of you needing something else in your diet that you're not getting. And I'm going to leave it at that.

I just, I just remembered the great idea for a cocktail that I had. And it was like weeks ago, but I didn't write it down. But now I remember it here. What is it? Because I was mentioning I was at these restaurants in Seattle and everybody was doing some sort of like seaweed infused martini. Right. But, uh,

I thought fish sauce, lime, sugar, garlic, chili. Nook Chum? Nook Chum. Beautiful Vietnamese condiment, Nook Chum. You take that, you clarify it, you know, shake it, chill it. I think it'd be good. Do I want that with alcohol, though? Just all of a sudden, just diluted Nook Chum. Yeah, just mocktail it. Just...

I thought you were going to make it into... I love Nook Chomp. I love Nook Chomp. I was going to say, shake it with a Japanese... What's that? Roku gin? Yeah, Japanese whiskey. I think it's more of a whiskey kind of dark spirit. I might try it, Josh. Do it, please do it. I might try it. I'm in need. No? No, I love Nook Chomp, but I don't think...

the cocktail version of it I can see in my mind. Because I've actually ripped Nook Chum as a shot. Like, I'll finish eating my delicious Vietnamese lunch and then I will just take the rest of it as a shot. Fine, fair. But now I want to get drunk off that.

Also, I like the dichotomy and setup of like add liquor to any condiment cocktail, add water to any condiment. That's a mocktail, you know? Yeah, that's essentially it, isn't it? That's the equation. Yes. Yeah, come on. What's the first little liquid in a ketchup? What's that called? It's not ketchup. It's tomato sauce. Tomato sauce, you said? That was the worst Australian accent ever. The vowels were all over the place. That's incredible. It's so bad. That's awesome.

You can wash some footy, Nicole. Hi, Josh. Hi, Nicole. I'm a San Diegan and I'm in Texas. So I'm a city slicker in the country and I want to know why aren't there any more GB savory beverages? I don't always want a Bloody Mary, but I want something savory. I don't always want a bone broth. Give me something else. I love you.

We're going to give you Josh's phone number. Call me. I'll make you a blue cheese colada. Blue cheese dressing shaken with rum. Oh, my God. Yeah, I think we're in the condiment world. I think we move on into condiments and you just kind of pair it with a liquor, maybe some extra citrus, and then you should be sweet on the go. We should do condiment liquor pairings. Yeah.

That's the next podcast, man. That's the next one. You made a cocktail one time. It was, I believe, called a bullshot? It is indeed called a bullshot. Do you know the bullshot? No. I believe it's just lemon, beef broth, and vodka.

vodka shaken strand. And it was absolutely a marketing campaign from Campbell's. Because some of these cocktails will go back like 150 years to trying to cure scurvy on a boat or trying to cure yellow fever in New Orleans or the Sazerac was invented. And then some of these cocktails are like, well, an ad executive in 1973 paid $13,000 to Time Magazine and now it lives on. And that's the bullshot. It was Campbell's Soup being like...

We can get alcoholics to drink our soup for fun times. And it's really good. It sounds good. A person who chugs that gelato is going to love that, so I don't blame you. I have very peculiar tastes. She did call herself a city slicker being from San Diego, which is interesting.

I'll give it to her. And she also had a wildly southern accent. I'm a city slicker in the southern area. She's been there for a while. That's exactly what she sounded like. Why can he do our accents but you can't do his? That's a good point. That was a bang up. It wasn't bad. Was it like western Oklahoma? Yes, that's where I was going from it. Yeah, exactly. It's where the tongue goes. I agree with this statement. There needs to be more savory options. What about, what about, hear me out.

vinaigrettes just like a little bit watered down. Like a shrub. Like a shrub. Yeah, that's a shrub. More vinaigrette base. Using vinegar in cocktails. I love doing it because essentially you're just trying to get the balance between sweet, sour, and a base. That's really all it is. And then...

add a savory note on top of that and you're packing your sweet. Which is why I really prefer cocktails to beer or wine or any other drinking because to me there is that actual it's like a chefiness, right? You are actually working to craft it. I did though last time I made a shrub. I tried to make some coconut and raw cane sugar shrub, whatever. And I spent so much time trying to make this cocktail to impress my weird brother we talked about earlier. And I put it all together and he drinks it and just goes, is this Malibu and pineapple?

And I realized that I had fully recreated Malibu from scratch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks a lot, John. Thanks, John. Sometimes, you know, it doesn't pay off. Hi. I just wanted to send a follow-up about the Biggie Smalls episode. I also agree, and I think he's doing juice because when you grow up for, and I don't know about, like, L.A., but...

Purple drink juice drank, you know, it's drink because your head drank is I think bad But yeah, purple drink is just like a purple color Not juice definitely not a hundred percent juice in a big old jug So I think when he said he had that Welch that was to show his money. That was a flex. I got name brand Thanks

Do you have any idea what she's talking about? No. We can fill you in. So, Nicole, can you rap the lyric? Um...

Part of it, yeah. So he goes, well done steak, eggs, cheese, and Welch's grape. Yeah, so this is Biggie Smalls. We're talking about the best lyrics in the best food lyrics in music history. And he doesn't, Biggie Smalls does not specify which Welch's grape product he's consuming with his T-bone steak, eggs, and cheese. Oh, T-bone steak. I said well done. I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed. Yeah, well done steak. He's doing really well. He's getting well done steak. Yeah.

But that's really interesting because I did – I grew up exclusively on drink. And our drink of choice was called Tampico. Tampico. Tampico blue drink. That was it. And so I actually did that. By the time I was able to start affording like as an adult proper juiced fruit, that was a big moment for me. And so I do think that there is – that is a good like sociological understanding of

What was going on there? It was definitely jelly, not juice, but also. Yeah, people think it's either juice, jelly, or grape soda. Those are the three options people think. He uses telly and helly earlier. He was definitely going to rhyme jelly, but then found a better slant rhyme. Telly means hotel. It doesn't matter what it means. He was going for it and then chickened out. But chickened out in a beautiful artistic way. Yeah, of course, as we all do. As we're all trying to do. What's the biggest artistic risk you've ever taken?

- What's the biggest rotisserie chicken you've ever taken? - Rotisserie chicken, you said? - I was gonna say, try to do that. - What's the biggest rotisserie chicken you've ever-- - What's the biggest artistic risk you've ever taken? - Artistic risk I've ever taken was, there was like an 18 year period where I was straight.

And I kind of went away from that. You were doing it for the art. I was doing it for the art. And then all the art got queer. So I was like, I may as well do that now. Right. And so the last seven years, I've just kind of been, you know, nothing's really real, is it? Yeah, yeah. I've been kissing boys and I've been telling them that I love them. Don't you love kissing boys? I love kissing boys. I missed it. Josh is in. We're in. Josh is in. It's 2025. No one's straight. We got one more opinion? One more. Maggie, one more, please.

Hello, a hot dog is a sandwich. I think that Josh may be the only person on earth who will agree with me on this. But I think that blood is a dairy product.

You've got two drinks that come from cows. You've got the milky drink and you've got the bloody drink. And sometimes blood, you know, you make it congealed. That's basically cheese. Right? Right? Yep. Come on, Josh. Agree with me on this. I know it's not kosher, but like, come on. It's not kosher. Be with me here. It's certainly not kosher.

I have faith in you. I like that he went into a Hoobastank song in the middle. I like a bloody drink. I like a milky drink. I can't. I can't. No, that's not Hoobastank. That is Chumbawamba. It's impossible to really kind of... It's Chumbawamba. No one really knows, do they? Chumbawamba. No, no one really knows. Fizzing the night away. We have these...

I couldn't even look it up. No, impossible. I don't have mine on me. But I think because blood comes from multiple different animals, surely it can't be a dairy product. Well, I'll tell you what, dairy comes from multiple different animals too. Oh, that's a good point. And not just the ones you'd think of. That's a good point. I'm just thinking, yeah, no. Look, never mind, Josh, really. Penguins make milk. Do they? And you've tried it? I've tried to get it, and the zookeepers were not amenable to my offers. They didn't like it, did they, Josh? They didn't like it at all.

at all. I didn't like that you were there in the first place. No, no, especially that I wasn't. Blood is not dairy. Sorry. Blood is not dairy. Yeah, I see where your head's coming from. I get it. It's wrong. It's wrong. It's disgusting. And I think that's the kind of thinking that like common core math kind of create. You know what I mean?

You know? What? No. What did you say? You think Common Core Math has created this idea in his head? Terrible joke with no payoff to anybody. I see where you're coming from. I don't think it is correct, but I do. It's like coagulated pork blood. It's like, yeah, it's like how you make cheese. It's how you make paneer. You know, you kind of curdle it and you press it and you dry it. Yeah.

Soy milk is there, but not the same. I think it's valid. I think it's a weird way of thinking and you should go to someone, see someone, but it is. Yeah. Do you have anyone you can talk to, like professional or close friends? That's us. They talk to us. It's us in a way. It's us. That's you guys. That's on you guys. I love that you're not with us. He's in it. I love it. I'll come back next week. Nick, give me your number. Just tell them where to find you. Okay, so it's three. Are there any cocktails that have blood in it?

You can make a Bloody Mary. With real blood? Wait, we've surely chuckled at that. I've done that before. It wasn't good. I'm sure it wasn't good. I'm not like an awful guy. I'm not a guts-blooded guy. I'm not a normal guy. I'm a nice guy. So I'm not really kind of into the insides of things, really. That's my thing. Fair. Not everyone is. From a scientific standpoint, if you consume raw blood, it's dangerous. But by the time you pasteurize it, blood turns into a solid. Right. And so it would make it really difficult. You could do like a...

fed you the bloody Mary the bloody blood Mary yeah I drank raw blood because I'm comfortable assuming a certain it wasn't it wasn't raw I made sure I pasteurize it yeah

Yeah. Well, I probably don't do it though. It didn't taste pasteurized when you had it? Oh, I don't think I drank it. Okay. I think I faked it on camera. Proud of you. Because that was during the live stream. Yeah. Yeah, I lied. I didn't want to. I was sober too. It's okay. Well, on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We got audio only episodes every Wednesday and a video version on YouTube every Sunday. Nick, tell the people where they can find you. Bye.

All on socials, Nicholas.Hamilton on Instagram, and I think Nick.Hamilton on TikTok. I make a lot of drinks on the internet. If you want to buy this, search Sipsy Dizzy on the internet. I'm sure it's the only thing that comes up on Google. You can find it at Barnes & Noble. He's bought two of his shirts at Barnes & Noble. For other people, yeah. That's right. If you want to be featured on Opinions or like Casseroles, give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833-DOGPOD1. For more Mythical Kitchen, check out our other videos. We've got new episodes every week. See you all next time.