Costco vs. Sam’s Club Food Court
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Welcome to Costco. I love you. Welcome to Sam's Club. I just don't think we're there yet. I mean, I've been loving getting to know you. I think we've had some really awesome times together, but frankly, it's the emotional availability that I have right now isn't commensurate to your level of attachment. And no, no, no, no, I'm not putting this on you. Really, it's me. I just, I've been burnt before, like a hot dog on a roller. I don't know.

That I'm ready yet to love again. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What?

Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And those were our odes to big box chain commodity retailers, Costco and Sam's Club. And I think they each kind of exemplify the stores that we're talking about. Costco, it's a very loving place. I love Costco. Everyone loves Costco. The Costco employees love Costco. You walk into Costco, you feel love. I would love to work at a Costco. Awesome.

I know a lot of people that have worked at Costco for a long time. They seem to pay their employees well and give good benefits. I know. Yes, yes, yes. I have never felt that way in Sam's Club. I've never been to a Sam's Club. I've never walked into a Sam's Club. My mom talks about Sam's Club a lot. Because Sam's Club, Costco was founded in California, right? In San Diego? Yeah. It was technically known as something else. It was like Price Club for a bit. And the original one was called something else. And they dealt with businesses. But-

Like, proper Costco has existed in California since 1983. Right. So we grew up Costco people. We were Costco people, yeah. And Sam's Club is by the Waltons. By the Waltons. Sam's Club was Walmart's answer to Costco. So, like, the OG Costco, Price Club, founded in 1976, and then they sort of, like, had a couple different stores and consolidated under the name Costco in 1983, which is when Sam's Club—

officially launched as well. In the entire time, Sam's Club has been chasing the aura that Costco has developed. Like, that is actually their business strategy. Just to copy Costco? Just to copy Costco? You can see, they're copying Costco and that's not like necessarily a dig, especially because it's not really working. I mean, Sam's Club obviously does a lot of business. How many Sam's Clubs are there in the

So there's about 600 of each. Okay. There's about equal numbers, but the crazy thing is Costco does double the business. Wow. Double the sales. And so the CEO of Sam's Club in a recent interview was...

was actually talking about how good the Kirkland Signature brand is. It is pretty phenomenal. 100%. Sam's Club doesn't have their own unique brand like that. In-house brand. Yeah, they consolidate a lot of store brands from Walmart, but they don't have that je ne sais quoi of knowing that every product you see with Kirkland on its name is going to be very good. And of course, it's coming from a factory that's making other products, but it's that level of curation that's really good. So Costco...

They really do love you. Sam's Club is trying to love you. You know? Do we give points for trying? In 2025, do we give points for trying still? It's a philosophical discussion that I am not equipped to handle. I'm equipped to handle hot dogs in my mouth. That's about it. Right, right, right, right. Speaking of which, we have hot dogs to put in our mouths. We do have hot dogs. So we are talking about

Not the actual products from the stores. No, no, no. The adjacent restaurants. The food court. The food court. Which is the best part after going bulk shopping with someone you love or someone you tolerate. You go after, you never go before.

Of course I go after. What do you mean? You need to, what do you mean? You've worked up the calories, picking up the heavy, like almonds, you know, you know, the bulk almonds that you get. Are you talking about the chocolate covered ones or the raw ones? Both. God, the chocolate covered ones. They go down so easy. And then, you know, just buying like way too much toilet paper, way too much plastic products that you probably don't even need. You work up an appetite.

You gotta go after. No, I like going before. That way it really hampers your buying power because you get like a thousand calories of greasy pizza in you and then suddenly the sight of all that food makes you sick. That pizza, both of these pizzas right now are so like globby.

and delicious. I have a love affair with Costco pizza, and I'd love to see if I can duplicate it with Sam's Club, though. They do have the brownest cheese in a way that is really good. The layer of cheese on Costco pizza is about a half inch thick. You have the Costco foods on your side, and I have the Sam's Club's food on my side. Again, they're rocking very identical menus, at least when it comes to hot dog

And pizza. Hot dog pizza. Hot dog pizza. That's what you're going for. Yeah, and to be fair, Sam's Club did not have any dessert options for the day. They, quote, ran out. Costco would never run out. They would only run out of sushi at their new Costco sushi counters. Oh, are those open? Are those live? They're live, but not in our area yet. Where? Seattle. Oh, God.

Wait, I'm going to Seattle soon. You're going to Seattle? I'm going to Seattle. I'm so jealous. I got to try and go to Cos Club's sushi counter. I've always wanted to go to Seattle. It's so cold and dreary. Oh, I know. I want to feel the ghost of Kurt Cobain. So...

The food court options. You can tell that Sam's Club is definitely trying to copy Costco. I can see, yeah. And their most egregious act of copying Costco is, you know the story of Costco's $1.50 hot dog combo. I'll never change it. They'll have to kill me, right? No, he said, no. So this is the co-founder of Costco and president at the time. His name is, I believe, Jim Sinigal. And he was talking to the president of Costco. And the president was trying to get him to raise the price of the hot dogs. He's like, this has been killing us.

And he didn't say that, like, I'll die before you change it. He said, if you change it, I will kill you. Oh, I see. I see. And every couple years, a media outlet runs that quote. Like, oh, look at this good American businessman trying to save for the consumers. And I'm like, oh, no, he's trying to homicide someone. Threatening to kill someone over what is ultimately a good business. He's trying to unalive someone over Mitt Romney's favorite meat.

Hey, man, it's a good meet. So the Costco hot dog is still $1.50. Sam's Club, though, they lowered their price of it to $1.38 just to try and spite Costco. Before tax or after tax? I don't think they... Do they tax the food items there? I don't know, but I do know that they don't take all the major credit cards.

Interesting. And you know what else pisses me off? During the panini, during the pandemic, they removed the onion. You know that little onion thing? Yeah, this is the big controversy here. No, the onion. What is it? The onion chopper. The handheld onion chopper. It's a handheld rotary onion mincer. And there was nothing like when you were a kid and you'd be like, Mom, can I go put onions on my hot dog? And she's like, yeah, go. And just the act of doing it was so fun. It was like a crazy.

It's like a fair game for me. Yeah, for real. For people that don't know, there must have just been whole onions inside of this hand crank machine. It was so fun. And you crank it and it just grinds the onions into little mints. Costco, please. I'm begging you. Bring it back. Onion juice flying out of every... I used to just put onions on my pizza because I wanted to mess with the onion machine more. I don't know, man. Do you put relish on your hot dogs? Yeah.

I didn't get you relish. I'm sorry. No, you're totally fine. I'm like ketchup, mustard, relish, onions loaded up. Yeah, you need to load it up because you're so tired from bulk shopping while I'm bulk shopping. You need everything. You need sustenance. Yeah, I get that. Yeah, I get that. I don't shop at Costco much. I love going to Costco. I'm like a go to the store every two, three days guy. Oh, you have so much. So you have so much time on your hands.

You have mountains and mountains of time on your hands. Do you remember? One, there's a store right by my house. It takes two minutes to walk to. It's really nice. But you know how you always come in and go, hey, did you see this TikTok? Yeah.

You know, this is the same feeling, Margo. Oh, you have a lot of time on your hands because you're, well, I'm shopping, which literally takes probably 15 minutes. I know what I'm going to get. I go in with a plan. Yeah, you're scrolling through short form social media, which please keep scrolling on our content. Listen, doom scrolling is what keeps me alive and current, okay? It's what keeps the body ticking for me. There's one more thing that Costco did.

That I believe is controversial. Is it chicken related? No, it's not chicken related. Oh, the rotisserie chickens. Yeah. Did they raise the price? It used to be $5 rotisserie chickens. I think they're still $5. God, that's crazy. But no, the Costco rotisserie chicken is great. They now require you to have a membership to get food court food, and that didn't used to be the case. I am low-key a little bit down with that. It makes a little sense. I'm down with it. Legally, they can't make you show a membership to buy liquor, though.

I think that's still the case legally. But they don't sell... Do you mean... What do you mean? Like, in the food court? No, no, no, no. Like, they're like big handles of Kirkland vodka. You... Oh, really? I believe legally they cannot require a membership to buy. In college, that's what we used to do. Are you for real? I'm dead for real, yeah. Because if...

To be quite frank, that's the place where I buy my alcohol. I buy my alcohol in bulk. Don't need a membership to buy liquor. I don't know if Maggie can look that up, but that was always the case. Or we would just harass the Costco employees until they'd sell us their cheap liquor. I don't know. Oh my gosh. I have an... Sorry, before we get into it, I have a fully expired Costco business membership card and they never say a thing to me. They never say a thing. They just let me waltz in and I love it so much. And then they're like, you need a card? I'm like, no, honey, I know what I'm doing. And I just love it. And I was

a love whenever you leave any sort of bookstore there's always someone checking at the end when you were a kid would they ever give you a little smiley face and like a heart yeah like that's the stuff Costco does love you and I guess Sam's Club does too no you do not need a Costco membership to purchase alcohol that is freaking crazy and what a revelation I just learned something new

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Josh, close your eyes. Okay. Okay, I'm going to feed you hot dogs, okay? Oh! Is that okay with you? Do you mind? Okay. I'm going to let you know whenever it's near you. Okay, let me just... Okay, are you putting condiments on hot dogs? No, no, I'm not. You're raw dogging right into the mouth. Yeah, I'm raw dogging. I'm going to raw dog for you, okay? This might as well be happening. That's fine. Okay. Do you consent? I consent, yeah, 100%. Okay, cool. You can do whatever you want to me. Okay, open. Eat. Okay.

That's a hot dog. Very good. Very good, Josh. Okay. Yummy. Very smoky. A little bit sweet. Okay. Almost tastes like a kind of halfway between like a smoked Louisiana hot link and a hot dog. It's a very smoky hot dog. Great. Keep those eyes closed. Just do one. Just one wipe in the mouth. Where's my water? Over there. Right there. Right there. A little higher. I need a palate cleanser. Okay, go ahead. You have one rogue sesame seed. That's bothering me so much.

You got it. Okay. Okay. Keep those eyes closed. Okay. Number two. Okay. Keep those eyes closed. That's Costco and it's much better. How can you tell? Was I correct? You are so correct. How did you know that? So Costco used to use Hebrew National. They did. But then, God, it might have been 2008 or something. They decided to take all their hot dog production in-house.

To save money, you try and keep it $1.50. Because Hebrew National also moved operations to Brazil or something. Or they got bought by a Brazilian meat conglomerate. A lot of business stories. But I think they tried to copy Hebrew National as much as possible. Did you try these yet? No. So I can't eat hot dogs. Oh, because you're preggers. You're pregananak. You're prangent. You're pergonak. You're pregant? I mean, I can eat them, but they're not like hot hot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm not going to like, but the color difference is shocking to me. 100%. I'm going to get these, I'm going to sauce these up for you, okay? Sauce them up for me because I want to keep eating these hot dogs while we talk about it. Okay, go for it. No, yeah, you could tell that right off the bat that that was a Costco hot dog and it was indeed better. Costco also, do they still have the Polish dog option? They do. Because you used to be able to get, it was a quarter pound all beef hot dog or Polish dog.

And I used to always get the Polish dog because I thought it was fancy, but now that I've grown up, I've realized the taste of hot dog is very good. It's better. Yeah, hot dog is good. Yeah, no, the one from Sam's Club, it's very good. There's a lot of sesame seeds on the bun. Is it different than... They look quite similar. Let's see how size compares. I think the hot dog is a little bigger, though. I think the buns are the same. There's actually a coarser grind on the Sam's Club hot dog, which is why I think why I was reading... Wow, I can see. Like, kind of almost delusional Hotline style.

But it also has way too much... I don't know if it's a natural smoke on it or if it's liquid smoke in there. But it's almost way too much to where it takes it out of hot dog territory. And more into like... Yeah, more into some sort of... Sausage. Processed-y, slightly fine-grained sausage. Yeah, Costco is just...

It's a better hot dog. There you go. Do you look for a red hot dog or a brown hot dog? Red. Always. I look for a red hot dog because that's how I know it's a hot dog. When it's brown, something tells me, not that it's off, but it's going to be a different hot dog experience than I'm used to. You know what I mean? Why did you sauce the hot dog but ate it

Ate the butt of it. I wanted to just eat the butt just to get the raw flavor of it before I actually dove into the sauced hot dog. Because this could add a different variable if it tastes better with condiments or not. Fair, fair, fair, fair. This could be its own show. Josh eating hot dogs. Eating hot dogs with Josh. He's a man who loves tube meat. Eating hot dogs with Josh on the YouTube. The meat is a tube. That was pretty good. It's pretty good.

Also, I'm saving my actual lunch. Oh, yeah. Your El Pollo Loco. For dinner. Because Julia's going to dinner with friends. That way I don't have to cook so I can save time because I spend all my time at the grocery store as you see. Girl's got an active social life, I see. Good for her. And I'm going to need to go to the gym after this because I feel sick. I mean, I'm like pre-sick from eating all these pizzas. Mm-hmm.

I'm just happy to be... I feel like... You know how people say they get phantom pregnancy pains or they gain weight because their partner's pregnant? I feel like I am also tasting the hot dogs watching you do this. I'll tell you what. More longer hot dogs, less thicker hot dogs. I like long dogs. Love a long dog. Love a steamed bun. But I like thick too. It's very hard. It's very hard if... But I...

I think I just love hot dogs in general, that I'm just down to eat them no matter what. Sure. Somebody said something interesting where they says to me, they says, Josh. They says, Josh. Yeah? They say, Josh? Josh. They says that. And then they says to me, they says, Josh, hot dogs in 2025 are what bacon was in 2011.

You know, can I tell you why I kind of agree? Because there's this fashion round called Stoud. Have you heard of Stoud? No. They've made a hot dog bag, a purse. They're commodifying hot dogs as this weird, like, way to virtue signal to people that, hey, I'm a cool girl. I eat hot dogs. Yeah, it's like a, like, post-ironic Americana. It's the reason Von Dutch hats are back. Yeah, I don't get it. The reason the jorts, like, Woodstock 99 fashion is back is, like, people are post-ironically...

Loving hot dogs. It's not post ironic for us. We are genuine dog aficionados. Just a guy that likes tubes of meat. We wouldn't name our podcast a hot dog is a sandwich. We both didn't like hot dogs, right? You know what it is. You know what the hot dog fetish of 2025 is. It is the camouflage Waltz Harris hat.

I've never seen a Walsh Harris hat. The Walsh Harris hat. You know what I mean, Maggie? It's like this flipping of like commodifying like rural Americana of like the hunter camo. Oh, I see. But for progressivism. I see. I see. Okay. You know, so now you got a bunch of like kind of like leftist cool girls eating hot dogs as this kind of like ironic meditation on Americana. Right. Not me. I just like the tubes of meat. Yeah. No political affiliation. We just like meat and tubes. No. 100%.

100%. I could eat pizza though, right? What? Dr. Josh. Let's eat some pizza. Yeah, yeah. I have a lot of thoughts about what pregnant women should and shouldn't eat. And pizza is definitely a thing you should eat. This was hot at one point. Can I just look at the bottom? Jesus Christ. Look at the bottom. What is that? That's the grate. That is the pizza grate. Is there one over there? They both have the markings. They both have the memento style tattoos of what has happened. But this is...

Have you ever slept on one of those mats that is like an acupressure mat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is literally it. It's almost like Braille. I had to close my eyes. This is Sam's Club? This is Sam's Club. Can I eat the tip? They're so similar looking. Yeah, eat the tip, eat the tip. They're so similar looking, they are just unrecognizable to the Italian brain. You know what I mean? As pizza, if you showed this to an Italian, like this is pizza, they'd be like... No, it's not. No. Similar though to potentially an Argentinian Fugazetta.

I was literally about to say it's just like Fugazetta. I was literally about to say that. Tell them about Fugazetta. It's this big, like, pan of pizza that's just like, it's like a thick, thick, thick crust, almost like a focaccia, covered with white, white, white cheese. And it has a speckling just like this. And then you can put, like, onions on it. Sometimes you put ham on it. It's really good. I don't care for that. Maybe it's better when it's, like, piping hot.

Should we microwave it for 10 seconds? Do you think that'll change it? I don't think it will. I think we can get a pretty good representation of it. I love the little pimples on the bottom. They're so, it literally looks like cystic acne. The dough is just like, it's so yeasty and like wetted. It's too yeasty. From all of the fat. The cheese is adequately salty. Like this is a no frills, big ass slice of pizza. It's going to keep you full for a long time. Mm-hmm.

I heard a slice of Costco pizza has like 46 grams of protein. It does. And then there's a lot of other things in it as well. But it's just like, it's so heavy and there's just so much mozzarella cheese on it. Yeah. You can see the different cook times on the pizzas. The Sam's Club was clearly cooked a little bit shorter. I need a hot dog palate cleanser.

And it looks like the Costco one is almost overcooked. The style of pizza you want well done. I agree because there's a likelihood that the cheese on the bottom might be a little bit under and you don't want that. But you know what I used to do when I was a kid? I used to take the cheese off and I would eat the bready. I'd eat the bready saucy bit and then take the cheese and eat that. In case you were wondering. Are they just getting everything from the same factory though?

I have no idea. You left a tip for me? Yeah. Best friend forever. The crust tastes the same. It has this like very easily collapsing gluten structure. You know what I mean? The sauce is different. What's that? The sauce is so different. Sam's Club sauce is sweeter. Oh, yeah. The Costco sauce has more depth. Do you taste that? It's pretty insane. Salt levels are completely different for both. Completely different.

Wow, Costco clears Sam's Club. 100%. That sauce takes it over the edge. That's a real... That's good. That's good cold pizza. Wow, how did Costco do so much better than Sam's Club? Because they look so similar. You know whenever, like, you, like, appropriate a piece of art? Yeah.

You're just copying the visual of it. Sure, yeah, yeah. You're not copying the soul of it. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like every single brush stroke is that artist adding their personality and touch into it, and that's every single Costco pizza. Costco pizza dough, actually, a lot thinner, a lot better structure than Sam's Club as well. Wow. It's probably cooked at a higher temperature for longer. Yeah. Everything. Everything from the cheese to the sauce to the crust to the cook. Costco clears. Mm-hmm.

There's no hope for a turn in Sam's Club here. Well, we do have miscellaneous baked good. Savory baked good as well to get through. But they took a pretzel and they put the same pizza toppings on it? Yeah! Oh, maybe that'll save them. Oh. Oh my god, Costco pizza, dude. It's been too long. Do you know why I never get Costco pizza? Because...

You're watching your macros. No. Why? Because I'm at Costco. I don't care. Macro schmacros, am I right? No, it's because the chicken bake exists. Oh, you go for the chicken bake more than the pizza? I have always been. I mean, I've eaten a lot of Costco pizza in my life. Okay. But I've always gone directly for the chicken bake. The chicken bake, the reason why I love it so much is that it retains heat. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's still warm. Should I crack it? Yeah, crack it open. Crack it like a glow stick. Sure.

Look at that. Yeah, that's pretty good. Hot Caesar dressing. You smell the hot mayonnaise in it. That's why I love it. This is sick. This is sick. The amount of carbohydrates we're eating right now is sick. Wow. I got tempo pause benched today. What? Trying to work on my bench technique doing tempo pauses again. Back to building from the ground up. Is that like Tabata? I don't know. Why do you know what Tabata is? Honey, it takes a lot to lose this bad.

To be clear, I didn't mean that. Honey, it takes a lot of trial and error to look this fucked up. You think this comes natural? I get that too, man. There's so much black pepper in this. It's so good. I know. So the Costco chicken bacon is presumably some sort of pizza adjacent dough.

- Yes. - That is then covered in whatever cheese gets this hard when you bake it. - Parmesan. - You think this is par, I don't know if they can legally say parmesan. - Parmesan adjacent. - It's probably an osteogenesis situation. Parmesan adjacent cheese. - Yeah. - And it is filled with more mozzarella cheese, chicken, bacon, and Caesar salad dressing. - All that's missing is lettuce.

They should serve it with a side of lettuce. You know, like you can go to like bodegas in New York and get like a Jamaican beef patty and then get it cut open and add stuff to it. That's what I want with my chicken bakes. What? Yeah, they should be offering that. I want to take that. I want to take it to the onions. I want some pickled jalapenos in here. Some people like to put their hot dog inside. You should do that. Put your hot dog in the chicken bake. Yes, sir. Oh my God. Oh my God.

And then sometimes people wrap the pizza around it, but you don't need to do all that. That's too much. Wrapping the pizza. But the hot dog and the chicken bake is a good idea. I'm smoking this with the bacon. The hot dog really works well together. Josh, I'm so glad that you are living your best life right now. Come on, man. Are you having a good time? This is the best episode we've ever done. Okay, now it's time for Pizza Pretzel. Repeat after me. Pizza Pretzel. Pizza Pretzel. Pizza Pretzel. Pizza Pretzel. Pizza Pretzel.

Okay, Josh needs to swallow. But basically, this is a pretzel that is coated with pepperoni, cheese, and I don't think there's sauce. No, it looks like there's no sauce, but you dip it into the sauce. And I don't know. Are you a pretzel person? The only time I ever eat a pretzel is when I'm going, when I'm at the outlets shopping with my mom. I buy a pretzel from Wetzel's Pretzels.

Okay. I'm not a pretzel guy. I'm not a pretzel guy, Nicole. Why not? A lot of people talk about the Philly soft pretzels and all that. To me, I like a good German pretzel that's just darkly brown and hard. You know what I mean? Yeah, you like German pretzels. Yeah, but your normal mall pretzel I've never been a fan of. I love mall pretzel with a little jalapeno cheddar dipping sauce. Honey. Okay.

I feel like you're depressed. What's going on? Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about my life choices after eating that hot dog stuffed inside of a chicken bake. Are you sad? My problem with like mall pretzels like this is they're not like pretzel-y enough. They're not hard enough? I want that like deep, dark, brown, weird, like sodium. You know what I mean? That like sodium bicarbonate kind of funk. Because that's what like makes a pretzel a pretzel, right? I disagree. I like a soft, salty, easy to swallow pretzel.

I don't know. I want it to be like gnarled and dark and small and dense. You should go to Oktoberfest. I would love that. What are you doing in America still, dude? I don't think putting the pizza stuff on it makes it better. You know, I don't like this. You know, Sam's Club, you tried and you did not succeed. Give me a different flavor profile than pizza. You already got pizza. Why would you get this over pizza? There's a novelty to pretzels that pizza doesn't have. It's the novelty. They should make a jalapeno cheddar pizza.

They should make a jalapeno cheddar pretzel. I agree with that. I would eat that. Why don't you do that, Sam's Club? I love a jalapeno cheddar bagel. Sam's Club, call Josh and I. We will literally build you a whole new menu, and we'll do it really well. All in all, pretty poor performance by Sam's Club. Sam's Club. Sam's Club, what are we doing here? What the hell, Sam? I was expecting a Sam's Club. From the Waltons? From the Waltons? A name that everybody can trust. From the Waltons? I expected more. No? I'm going to go back and...

Give me the marinara. I want to dip my hot dog chicken bacon in the marinara. The marinara at Sam's Club is oddly too sweet. It is very sweet. It's almost sickeningly sweet. There's almost a corn syrup element to it that makes me want to gag. Excuse me. Would you call this gluttonous in nature what we're doing?

I don't feel good. But if I stop eating now, then it's all going to really set in. So I got to keep eating. Yeah. Like you said, Sam's Club did not have any desserts. They do offer a sundae. They have a brownie sundae. Uh-huh. However, you got to show up to game day. And today was game day. You know, Sam's Club didn't know that. But what we do have. Practice how you play, Sam's Club. Damn right. Nicole, tell them what cheese is. I don't think I've ever had this, by the way. Me either. It's a double chocolate chunk cookie. Dude.

Stop treating it like that. This is like, this is a half a pound at least of cookie. Oh my god, there's so much chocolate in there. I've never had a double chocolate chunk cookie. No wonder those, what are their names? Big Justice and AJ and Big Justice, AJ Bafumo. No wonder those big boys are so big. Look at all of this. Oh my god, I'm gonna cry. I see the vision. You see the vision right now?

How many booms does this get? BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! That's a five boom double chunk chocolate cookie. This is really great. This is phenomenal. It's better than crumble. This is... Crumble can eat my shorts. I'm talking about like this is what crumble wanted to be. It was like this big ass cookie. This is really really well done. It's super crispy on the bottom, but you know what it's not though?

It's not just a raw dough ball in the middle. It is phenomenal. So many of these big freak cookies, these big genetic freak, big pop-a-pump Scott Steiner-ass cookies out here, right? Weighing two pounds, got nine million calories in them. Oh, cut them into fourths. You know, they're all just like raw cookie dough in a way that I've been like, dude, just eat the raw cookie dough. I thought we decided as a society that we could do that. But this is like a properly baked cookie that is also massive. It's the size of a big-ass brownie.

Tastes like a cookie. It's really well done. Delicious. It's so, it's like Mrs. Fields adjacent. Yeah. It tastes like Mrs. Fields, but it's in a crumble package. And I think it's incredible. I think Costco really showed out today. It's really, I've always, of course, loved Costco food court food, but I kind of thought it was just the nostalgia of me having gone there with like a basketball teammates mom and you felt the mother's love when you were nine years old for the first time and she bought you a chicken bake.

This food is actually, like, really good, especially compared to the alternative. Their pizza is really, really well seasoned. Well done for the style that it is. It's a big, wet, greasy cheese blanket, and that's delicious. The cookie's really well done. It's a perfectly seasoned hot dog. They're making a house, and then the chicken bake is a modern marvel of handheld meat and mayonnaise. Costco, I love you, and you clearly love me, too. Bring back the carne asada bake.

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Hula, all right, Nicole. Heard what you and I have to say, and we've eaten all the hot dogs. So full. Now it's time to find out what other ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a little segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles.

Let's get to that first meeting before I throw up a chicken bake. Hi Josh. Hi Nicole. This is Carrie from Michigan. I just wanted to know your opinion on something that I get judged on quite frequently. Who's judging you? I like to eat my candy in layers. For example, if I'm eating a Twix, I have to eat the chocolate and the caramel first. And I saved the biscuit for last. I understand. I also do this for Kit Kats and pretty much any other food or candy that you can think of. So what are your thoughts? Do you do this or am I just weird?

Thank you. Bye. Want me to take this one? Take it, take it, take it. I do this with Kit Kats too. I have a very specific way of eating it. Some people call it the Kardashian method because I believe Khloe Kardashian did this on the show. I was doing it before her though. The Kardashians. But I only do this with Kit Kats. I don't do this with any other candy, but this is a little bit OCD to me. What about to you? I do this only if I'm eating a large amount of candy.

Because I'm somebody who really loves variants. How much variants? How much? So if I got, say I got five Kit Kats, say I'm really going to town on them. You eat five Kit Kats in a sitting? Sometimes. And what I'll do. What do you mean like, like we're talking about like. Bars, like a bar of Kit Kats. So a standard Kit Kat has four bars of Kit. Yes. And four, you know, of Kat. And then so what I'll do is I'll eat two straight up.

And then for the last two, I'll get a little freaky with it. You know? I'll start trying to nibble off all the ends of the chocolate. Yeah. And then just leave bare wafer. I'll try and bite the wafers in half.

You know, ditto. Something's very fun about taking a Twix and scraping off all the caramel with your teeth. But I will say, I think the best experience, these are products that are not just somebody experimenting with making a delicious food, right? These are products that have been dialed in over decades and decades of research, of focus grouping to create the best experience possible. So I think, not objectively, but subjectively,

It is a better experience to eat the candy as it was intended by the manufacturer. What do you think has the highest return on, like, futzing with your candy? Kit Kat. You think, like, that's a better eating experience to, like, separate the layers? It's fun to eat a Kit Kat like that. There's people that, like, say a frozen York peppermint patty. That's, like, a good way to improve. I think that's a fun time. The menthol, the cold temperature. Yeah.

Gets nice and chewy. Oh, you're saying what candies deserve to be changed a little bit? Yeah, a little bit. Okay, I like to take a red vine and bite the tip and bite the bottom and use it as a straw. And when I'm done using it as a straw, I eat it. Great use of a red vine. Much better use of a red vine than just eating a red vine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. You know? What do other people do? Well, even like, so Reese's. I never really liked it because... You eat the skirt. I eat the skirt. I eat the skirt.

And by far the best Reese's eating experience is the original cup. I disagree with you. I love the minis, mini cups. You love the mini ones. Why? You like the depth and the hardness of the chocolate? I like the mini ones because I like the thickness of it. Mm.

I like how tall it is. See, I like how thin and wafery. Oh. I like how thin the chocolate layer is above the peanut butter, but then it gets thick by that sexy little skirt. The skirt is so sexy. The skirt is so sexy. It's the sexiest part of any chocolate bar. I've never seen a sexier part of a chocolate bar. I'll say that. I will say close is the little Snickers chocolate dimple at the top. That's also sexy. The vein? The vein. The Snickers vein is sexy. Did I just find out something about myself?

Whenever you eat the Snickers, do you put the vein on the tip of your- on like your tongue side? No, I'm not tonguing the vein deliberately, but like I see the Snickers vein and I think that looks like a really good chocolate bar. It's an attractive part of the chocolate to me. Ditto. It's not just the vein of the Snickers. It's not just the vein, but also I would say the almond in an almond's joy. That's also sexy to me. Why are you gay? Is that a reference?

Oh, yeah, you're going to the grocery store. You're not watching the TikToks. I'm listening to, like, punk music in one earphone in the grocery store. You don't know that meme? No. Oh, my God, I hate you. I don't like the meme culture. I think we're too... Stop going on the internet. Start going to the grocery store every couple days. Next opinion, please. Too expensive. Thank you for your honesty. You're not weird. Hey, this is a mythical beast from Hawaii. I...

Just wanted to say I love listening to the podcast. But it really aggravates me when I hear anyone say a Hawaiian thing has pineapple on it. Oh, interesting. Because if you look at the history of Hawaii and pineapples, pineapples aren't from Hawaii. They were imported to Hawaii. And they were...

There's a complicated history with them. Absolutely. So pineapples are not inherently Hawaiian? No, pineapples come from South America, I believe. I had no idea. It's interesting, but also Hawaii, it's... I don't believe pineapples are part of the canoe crops. Um...

But have you heard of like the canoe crops in Hawaii? I believe it's where native Hawaiian seafarers would hop in canoes, but they're big ass canoes and they could go hundreds of miles in these canoes. And they would go to other islands that are in the Pacific and they would bring back crops. So Hawaii is like a really, really interesting agricultural phenomenon. And then you bring in like American colonization and commerce. So like the Dole Pineapple Corporation, the Dole Corporation. Yeah.

Kind of is the reason that we like forcibly annexed Hawaii and like dethroned their queen at the time because of American fruit interest. So there is a lot of controversy around it. But the usage of the term Hawaiian to mean pineapple likely comes from a brand of pineapple slices called Hawaiian.

I believe that's a true story. So they... God, it was a Greek immigrant in Canada who made...

pizza for the first time and it was canned pineapple and I believe the brand was just called Hawaiian so that's where you get the name. Interesting. But yeah, it is funny that anything now just with pineapple on it people kind of brand as Hawaiian. Let me tell you, I learned something new because I used to be that person that would associate pineapple to be Hawaiian and Hawaiian to be pineapple. 100%. Well, thanks for teaching me something new.

A mythical beast in Hawaii? There's always this, you know, this question of like what is native to a place and not, right? So even like tuna poke, right? Okay, that was from Japanese. Japanese fishermen in Hawaii did it with soy sauce, the shoyu, you know, and there's a lot of like great indigenous Hawaiian food as well. But I think when you take such a purist view of like

Listen, potatoes were not in, they didn't grow in Ireland either, you know, but now it's become an important part of Irish food. Ditto with tomatoes in Italy. Ditto with chili peppers in Thailand. You know, crops change. The history of everything is like always brutal and depressing. What about lily koi? This is what I like. Is that how it's pronounced? Lily koi, yeah, passion fruit. Passion fruit. I associate passion fruit more with Hawaii than I do pineapples, though. Same, on with lily koi is native to Hawaii.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. But either way, that's a very fair and valid point. Also, Hawaii, very, very interesting food history.

Hi, Josh and Nicole. It's Pia from Maryland. Hi, Pia. I recently went to Australia and I got these crackers and they're Vegemite and cheese flavored crackers. They're absolutely delicious. And I also put almond butter on them, which made them even more delicious. And that's probably extremely controversial, but y'all should try them. Anyway, hope you guys have a great day. Can I confess something? Yes. One of my current pregnancy cravings is Vegemite toast with butter.

Interesting. Why do you think it is? You need yeast extract? It's so salty. What other pregnancy cravings have you had? One day I craved Bloody Mary's non-alcoholic, Jollibee spaghetti, and cantaloupe all in the same day. My cravings fluctuate, and they last for like 10 minutes, and then they go away. But I love Vegemite. Like right now, if you were to offer me a Vegemite toast with butter, oh my god, I would literally cry.

It's so good. It's like so savory and so delicious. I love Vegemite. More people like to eat Vegemite. Do you want to talk now? Sorry. Huh? Do you want to talk? Sorry, I'm looking up what fruits are actually native to Hawaii and it's crazy. So there's a lot of like non-native fruits like banana, coconut, papaya, passion fruit, guava, mango. None of those are native to Hawaii but they were brought by canoe plants from the Polynesians. Okay. Well,

What were you talking about? I'm so sorry. I wasn't listening to you at all. I was just saying about how much I love Vegemite right now. And like Vegemite butter toast is one of my favorite things to eat while pregnant. Oh, yeah. It's delicious. These crackers sound good, too. The almond butter. I know.

Almond butter, I mean, it's not inherently sweet, but I think we associate it with sweet things. Almond butter. Sure. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know what I mean. You know, put it on some Vegemite. You think they have shapes, Vegemite in trees? Arnott's shapes, hey? I freaking love speaking in an Australian accent. Maybe I should move to Australia. I don't think I'm very good at it. Would you miss me? But I'll walk to do it. Would you miss me if I moved to Australia? I'd miss you, yeah. I'm talking to the people. I know you'd miss me. I'm talking to the people. Interesting. There's a fruit called alakala.

What does it taste like? I like all the bread fruit. I've had Ulu. I've had Ulu. I've never had Mountain Apple. Is it scaly? Are Mountain Apples scaly? I don't know. Noni fruit? My mom was in a multi-level marketing scam about noni juice. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's fun. Noni is apparently not a very delicious fruit. Yeah. Well, anyways, that's cool. Thanks, Benny.

Hey, Josh, Nicole. This is Carly. I just had the craziest dream where I was served a red tomato-based cake

Curry with identical unidentifiable things in it. I don't even know what they were but the most strange thing was it was carbonated Oh, oh, what do you think that dream even means? Everyone at mythical kitchen brings so much happiness in the world Maggie you hear that you bring happiness to the world

I think you hungry and not only you hungry. You're also thirsty What you're hungry? Okay. No, no, I hear you say not only hungry you're thirsty Do you mean physically or do you mean of the soul? They're like Touched starved in a way. What are you talking about? No, I

They're just hungry and thirsty. Eat a snack and drink some libations before you go to bed, boo. I think that maybe you have that disease where food ferments in your stomach. Yeah, that's a cool disorder. And you're getting drunk off the food because that's carbonation. I went to a restaurant once. This wasn't a dream. I had the deviled eggs and they were wildly carbonated. They were so fizzy. The deviled eggs were fizzy.

And I think it might have just been the hot sauce because they had like a lacto-fermented Fresno chili hot sauce. This wasn't a fancy restaurant. This is Finney's, the bar in Burbank. I've never been to Finney's. Anyways, yeah, don't get lacto-fermented hot sauce from a bar in Burbank. So anyways, I've had savory fizzy foods because of fermentation. So I guess what's happening inside your gut and your gut brain is trying to tell your brain brain to signal something to you.

Either that or you need to repair your relationships. I don't think it's that deep. I think you just eat a little cracker before bed and then have a sippy sip of some LaCroix clear. Well, yeah. See if that solves your problem. Or maybe talk it out with a second cousin. I don't know. I don't think they were asking us to solve a problem either. I wish, I love interpreting dreams though. Like honestly, all jokes aside, whenever people come up to me and tell me about their dreams, I like interpret the crap out of them. But not this one.

What are you looking up? Pay attention! I'm fascinated by native Hawaiian fruits. You know?

Hey, Maggie and the other two. You know my name. So I'm not a hot sauce connoisseur by any means, but I think hot sauces that include the flesh of, I don't know, vegetables is better than ones that are just straight liquid. I really love Tabasco, and I feel like it would be so much better if we got actual pepper platter

pulp in there. You know what I mean? Like, spicy liquids are cool, but like, I want I guess I just want some body. You know what I mean? Anyway, love you guys. For someone who doesn't know our names...

He said he loves us. Sometimes it's easier to love somebody anonymously. You know what I mean? It's like no connection. We're just lovers for the night. You know what I mean? I had one of those. Don't know your name. Don't know your name. And I already forgot their name. But I will say I love you too because this is a very good opinion. Yeah. And I recently made two hot sauces this weekend to bring to a party because that's the kind of guest that I am. I bring hot sauces. And I made like a roasted, like a roasted, bordering on burnt habanero guajillo.

Habanero, guajillo, garlic, and then actually like mustard seeds, a little cumin, coriander, fresh chips, spices. You don't want to get a lot of flavor because it's going to be really spicy, so you got to pack it in there. Yeah. You know? But a big part of hot sauce making, you could blend all the stuff and then strain it and then add any thickener like a xanthan gum to give it some artificial body. But yeah, just use the pepper pulp as the body. I love pepper pulp. I think it's underrated in a lot of hot sauces. Yes.

And yeah, I like that textural element. I do like the body. I think whenever it's too chunky though, it can get a little bit off-putting and it adds texture to a dish when all you want is to add a little bit of spice and vinegar and salt to a dish.

It's like people that like orange juice with pulp and without pulp I'll always be a pulp person just because I like Like even whenever I get coconut water like I like it with a pulp I like that pulp I hate orange juice pulp I love orange juice pulp It's like hairs It reminds you of what you're drinking It's hairs But they're good Yeah I guess

So I'm on your team too. If I can make a recommendation, because you said you like Tabasco. Tabasco is just salt, vinegar, pepper, right? There's a great hot sauce out there called Arizona Gunslinger. They also go by the name. He doesn't get paid for this, by the way. He just really likes it. They go by another name. It's like Arizona Pepper Company or something like that. Anyways, Arizona Gunslinger Red Jalapeno. It is just like Red Jalapeno's water, salt, vinegar, but they leave the pulp in, and it is the best hot sauce in the game. It's so good. Check it out. David tried it the other day, and he didn't like it. Why not?

I don't know. He's also a hot sauce connoisseur. So I was like, the math isn't mathing. Joshie likey, David don't likey? Question mark. Who of us has the more exquisite palate? David, I challenge you to a hot sauce duel.

On that note, thank you. I'm gonna do this one. You do the other part, okay? And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We got new audio-only episodes every Wednesday and a video version here live, not live, but here, yes, on YouTube every Sunday. If you want a chance to read our opinion casseroles on the show, call 1-800-DOGPOD-DOGS. That's 1-833-DOGPOD-1 for your chance to get dogs on the original Hot Dogs Casseroles.

Signing off. For more Mythical Kitchen, check out our other videos. We launch new episodes every week. Josh has a great show called Last Meals where he interviews fabulous celebrities. Josh, who's the next celebrity you're interviewing? Post Mahorn. You already did him. Patrick Mahomes. Kim Cattrall. Kim Cattrall, come on the show.