Shownotes Transcript
This, this, this, this is Mythical. Hey yo, you wanna split a couple McMuffs? Josh, you know I don't like it when you call them McMuffs. Call them what they really are, McMuffins. Stop dulling my shine, Nicole. I'm a star. This is a Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What?
Welcome to our podcast of Hot Dogs as a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherr. And I'm your host, Nicole Inaydi. And today we have a bevy of McMuffs, Nicole. We have a plethora of McMuffs. One time Josh just casually said McMuffs to me and I said, what did you say? And he said, you know, a McMuff, a McMuff.
McMuffin. Here's the thing. I was raised on McMuffs. I believe deeply in the power of McMuffs. And I think that's their proper name. I do not like to call them McMuffins. Who called them? Was it your brother that started calling them McMuffs? Could have been my dad. Could have been my brother. This is the food of my birthright. The cheap breakfast sandwich. This is not. The food of my people is a Happy Meal.
We didn't get Happy Meals because I grew up in the age of, one, it was either like the two for $3. It was probably two for $2 back then. Egg McMuffin or Sausage McMuffin with egg, which is the correct move. Right. Meal deal, but then also the dollar value menu. So you get upcharge for less food on the Happy Meal. So we were like not about that. You get a water cup. You steal the Sprite in the water cup. Well, I will do that forever and always, especially at a Chipotle. I think that's...
the biggest fight my grandma and I got in in her old age is when she was 100 years old. We went to the Sizzler and she got a water cup and she's like, fill it with Sprite. And I'm like, Granny, I can buy you a drink. I can buy you a Sprite. You don't have to do that. It's not the Great Depression anymore. You know, I'm happy to pay for this meal. And then she got really mad at me for not stealing Sprite for her. Yeah, you always gotta steal. Like, my mom takes salt and pepper packages. We have so much.
Salt and pepper at home, but it's just the point of it being there, you know? Oh, and we're out here buying $9 Maldon salt. So fancy for no reason. So fancy. That's why we can't afford a house. That's why we can't afford a house, but you know we can't afford. Breakfast sandwiches. A bunch of breakfast sandwiches. What's your initial instinct on this? So I do not get breakfast sandwiches. If I'm ever going to get one, it'll always be a McGriddles.
I specifically love, adore, need, want, crave, thrive when I have a McGriddle. What is it about the McGriddles that speaks to you? Because the plural is the correct form. One McGriddles is two McGriddles is four McGriddles. Correct. I think it's because it's...
Something about the maple, just like almost like a dog. Like I just, I don't know what it is. It's a Pavlovian response for you. For me, yeah. I don't know what it is. It's the sweet, salty combination with like the cheese and the egg. It just makes sense. It's just, if I were to close my eyes and imagine what breakfast is...
It's the McGriddles for me. But again, I don't find myself ever getting fast food breakfast items. I always find myself, if I do, like getting a burger. If I were to get anything from a fast food place, it's always a burger. It's never been breakfast. It's never been breakfast.
The thing that generally stops me from getting fast food breakfast is the fact that we live in Los Angeles and there's so many good breakfast burritos. Totally. And those scratch the same itch. You're right. That said, I do love – I think the last time I ate a bunch of McDonald's breakfast was like on a road trip to Reno with my best friends. Sure, sure. But for me, one, we don't have the McGriddles represented here today simply because – It would be unfair.
Also, because I would tank the ranking so hard because I am disgusted by McGriddles. You hate McGriddles? I hate McGriddles. No, you can't hate them. I think that maple syrup. You don't respect them. I respect them because I think the inventor of the McGriddles also invented stuffed crust pizza and the—no, not the McRib. But I think the stuffed crust pizza. And then he started the chain Smashburger. He's a whole other story. I believe we call that a tastemaker.
Like, truly, yes. But there's something sickening about the especially fake maple, but I think even real maple with eggs and cheese. Oh, I love it. Maple and sausage, awesome. The eggs and cheese with maple, I can't do. See, this is where you and I differ, and I love our differences. I eat out of garbage cans, you know, but maple and eggs. You do? Still? I thought that was just a quirk for, like, on camera and stuff. Did it last night. I threw away a little cake, the cake that I'd made, but then I was like, well, I'm going to try and transform that cake into something. Remember when
Remember when I used to spray Windex on the food in the trash so you wouldn't eat it? Yeah. Yeah, I do. I'm like a dog in a lot of ways. I've got hip dysplasia. I'm like a dog, too. I have a shiny coat. I'm like a dog, too. Let's get into it. For me, the sausage McMuffin with egg is the best breakfast sandwich on the market. That's what I would say. However, I thought before this that McDonald's had invented the fast food breakfast sandwich. But that's not the case. In like 1973. But it's not true. The Breakfast Jack from Jack in the Box, Jack in the Box founded in San Diego in the 50s.
almost kind of invented the idea of the breakfast sandwich. Because a lot of fast food places had breakfast platters. In fact, the McMuffin was originally sold as an open-faced Eggs Benedict. See, whenever I think of breakfast, I think of a complete meal, which is so silly. That is weird. We're Americans, Nicole. We eat in our cars. We eat on the go. Let's try the breakfast jack. Let's crack into that. And we have another breakfast sandwich from Jack in the Box that I believe is better. But the breakfast jack, for the longest time, it was 99 cents. It's just a thin slice of ham.
A single fried egg. This is not ham. This is sausage. American cheese. Oh, we got, okay, breakfast check. So I tried to get. The OG one has ham. So I'm going to tell you right now. I tried to get sausage as a through line through all of these sandwiches because I thought it was fair. And that's my option every time. And I always try to be fair and balanced. I mean, sometimes it's really good.
Ham to me reminds me too much of like growing up and that's all you had in the fridge. I've never been a breakfast. Can I tell you something? The idea of breakfast ham makes me like sick. Hot taco sauce. Oh, yeah. Maggie actually pointed out how sexualized sauce packets have become like the Taco Bell ones. And now I guess the Jack in the Box ones that say hot taco sauce. It's hot for taco. We've sexualized all of our condiments in the fast food game. I blame euphoria.
What? This is the working man's breakfast sandwich. Oh, my God. This is no frills. I like breakfast sandwiches on a bun, one. Oh, my God, Nicole. That is aggressive. I don't like that at all. You spit it out? It made me feel sick. I want to try the spicing on the sausage. The fried egg is perfectly fine. The bun, it's nice and soft. It's like, it reminds me of like the brand Bimbo. That's the brand.
The Mexican brand? The bread is bibbo? It reminds me of that brand. I'm sure it's coming from somewhere. It's not as good. It's not as soft as like a McDonald's hamburger bun. I'm sorry. It doesn't do it for me. The sausage is so good. You think that's good? You think that's good fast food sausage? Bestie, what are you talking about? It's so well spiced. It's super, super fatty. What?
There is nothing great about the Jack in the Box breakfast sandwich. The breakfast Jack, again, a working man sandwich. I didn't like it. But try the ultimate. Crack that open. So you requested me to get the ultimate breakfast sandwich. Yeah, so the ultimate is on a split top roll. It's got, I believe, ham, bacon, and sausage. Let's see. No, it's got two eggs, ham, and bacon, and cheese. No sausage patty. That's disappointing. I ordered it, but they didn't put it. So I don't know what to tell you.
That's great. Actually, it's not. It's not. It's dry. The way they fry their eggs. I don't like anything Jack in the Box breakfast related other than the burrito. Jack in the Box was the first breakfast sandwich place I've seen that served a double sausage sandwich. Oh, yes. That's right. It was like the double cheeseburger, but for sausage. That was a revelation. It's simply not great. I respect that Jack in the Box pioneered the game.
But there is nothing spectacular about it. Jack in the Box has a great breakfast burrito, but that's not what we're talking about today. Yeah, I like their breakfast burrito. And they put nacho cheese sauce in their breakfast burrito. And I'm down. Like, that's something that I can get behind. Unfortunately, these breakfast sandwiches, they are not up to snuff. Is that what people say? I think they're up to snuff. It's not up to snuff. It's not up to snuff. Jack in the Box, I think, might be the victim of coming first. You know? Yeah. When he comes first, everyone just, like, ruins everything.
You know, they're not out here generous with their time. Let's crack open the McMuff. Why are you so out of order right now? Just so the viewers at home that are listening and not viewing, I made the most beautiful spread. I was going to do talking points, but then Josh just barrels through. I'm going in chronological historical order here. Fine. You know, you got to understand your past to understand your present.
Well, honey, if it's any indication of our future. And now this, again, we're doing sausage McMuff with egg here, but the original one just got a disc of ham. They call it Canadian bacon, and Canadians get really mad. I like Canadian bacon. Because it's like, what is the difference between Canadian bacon and ham? Maybe we have to go through the whole podcast on that. Well, I think it's like a smaller, thicker disc, right? Canadian bacon is supposed to come from the loin, right?
Oh. But also, if you're in Canada, there's no such thing as Canadian bacon. It's streaky bacon? There's streaky bacon, pea meal bacon, stuff like that. We'll talk about it. Maybe they call it back bacon. But anyways, the McDonald's breakfast sausage, I think, is the best. Now, yeah, I agree with you. McDonald's, those little laboratories that they got operating 24-7 trying to make you addicted to food, I'm down. Did you put anything on it? No. I normally dip it in ketchup. It doesn't need anything? I think...
This is the most perfectly architected sandwich. Oh my god. The circumference of the egg, one, the egg is thick and also they're cooked in Teflon molds to hold the shape unlike Jack Mocs which does a flat fried egg and then Teflon molds are like proprietary to McDonald's. They were invented in the 70s. You know, normally- This is absolutely perfect. Normally, I don't go for English muffins because I find them to be hard and dry and
and unpleasant, but I don't know what sort of yoga mat chemicals they got going on. Azothicarbonamide. I don't know what they got going on. It is a perfect mouthfeel. And let me just say,
You can taste the cheese in this. You can. Normally, in like breakfast sandwiches, fast food breakfast sandwiches, you don't always taste the cheese, but the cheese is predominant and it's good. The spicing on the sausage too is… It's gorgeous. Jack in the Box is pretty good. I've had some like terrible breakfast sausages at fast food restaurants. McDonald's to me, again, they got a team of scientists in a lab and…
And they're also just like cooks. Like a lot of people think of fast food restaurants as just having a lab where they're like putting unnamed chemicals in the sausage. No, it's actually, you know, a team of cooks, food scientists. But they are sourcing like spices from around the world trying to figure out what makes their product taste the best. What cinnamon. Yeah, yeah. They go through like multiple, multiple, multiple cinnamons to find out the best cinnamon. Josh, can you smell this smell? Yeah.
Is there butter on it? There's definitely a – the toast is real and the toast is good. I believe there's butter on it. It might be like a hydrogenated vegetable oil with butter extract. I think the butter might be making it transcendent. Making it a transcendent sandwich. You talked about like English muffins being kind of hard. Like if you think about the cookery on an English muffin, right, this is a wet batter. Effectively, it's cooked. That you cook on a plancha. A yeasted wet batter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which to me says like it should be –
because it's steaming, it's not losing a ton of moisture over the course of like 20 minutes in an oven. Wet bread isn't always like, you know, appreciated. This is a really good English muffin. I'm sure there's dough conditioners and chemicals. It's like pliable, it's squishy, it's stretchy. But like, this is a great English muffin. This is a great breakfast sandwich. Damn.
Damn. I don't know if we're going to be able to top it. I don't. We have to try. Where should we go from here? Well, you are the arbiter of the selection. I love that. Crack open the Chris sandwich. So you're passionate about the Chris sandwich? I am passionate about the Chris sandwich as an idea. Okay.
You've seen the movie Role Models? What's it named? Christopher Mintz-Plasse. Do they LARP in it? They LARP in it. Then I've seen it. There's a scene where Christopher Mintz-Plasse, fresh off of his role as McLovin in Superbad, is sitting there and he's wearing a cape. And Sean William Scott just looks at him and goes, do you like Coca-Cola? And he goes, I'm more like the idea of Coca-Cola than Coca-Cola itself. And then he just goes...
And that's me in a nutshell. All the time. You are. Just constantly saying stuff like that. You are the McLovin of our lives. Literally, yes. Look, dude, feel this. Feel this. Feel how pleasant the Chris Sandwich is. Oh. If you look at the evolution of buns. Wow, the heft. From the normal burger bun to the English muff of the McMuff to the Chrisan of the Chris Sandwich at Burger King. Oh, my gosh. So this was introduced as like a direct product.
competitor to McDonald's McMuffin. This is introduced in, I believe, 1983. Burger King's coming out of Florida. They have fresh scrambled eggs. I'm sure they're not fresh cracked. I like the scrambled eggs. But these are cooked. I generally am a scrambled egg guy in a breakfast sandwich, especially a folded square scrambled egg. And they tried to fold and do their best. 100%. I see some browning on the eggs. But it's the extra fat in the croissant. The croissant just crumbles under the weight. It, like, compresses. It's pleasant. Eat it, eat it, eat it. Yeah.
I really like that. It doesn't have the same. It doesn't have something about the McDonald's one. It makes me want to eat it more. This one, I have two bites and I'm good. It's the sausage. The sausage comes nowhere close to McDonald's. You're so right. The croissant. But holistically, the sandwich holistically is really good. It's excellent. And it feels a lot more filling. It feels like there's a lot more egg. Right. But as far as balance goes in a breakfast sandwich...
This doesn't come close to McDonald's. This is great. The Chris sandwich is awesome. It is quite delicious. What would you... Have we been rating these? Should we rate them? Yeah. Okay.
Breakfast Jack. Four. Yeah, five. I don't think I can give anything less than a 10 for the sausage. I'm going to give it a 9.5. I'm going to give it a 9.5. Dang, man. As a McGriddle's whore. I'm going to give it a 9.5. The Chris sandwich? Bro, that's like a seven. I was going to say eight. I'll give it an eight. I'll give it an eight. It's funny because if you were to give this...
bread wrapping to a Frenchman, right? They would spit in your face. Yeah, well, they would spit in your face just because they're French, you know? Well, French people don't just like automatically spit. You'd walk up to them and be like, you stupid American! They don't spit in American people's faces unless they just revert. Why are you not letting my seven-year-old child drink wine in the streets? They do this in Marseille all the time. Do children drink in France? I think it's like very common to give your child like a small glass, like to rear them on it. Hey man, didn't you get drunk at eight days?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, don't worry about it. It's not a movie. Hundo P. Hundo P. Croissant sandwich. Great, great work. I really like that. Great work. These are the types of croissants that you can get pre-wrapped at Costco. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Some people follow the rules, but where's the fun in that? I'm Soraya and this is Rule Breakers, the podcast where we celebrate the rebels, the misfits, and the ones who make their own way. Every week, I sit down with the biggest rule breakers in sports, entertainment, and beyond to talk about the wildest moments, toughest lessons, and why breaking the rules might just be the key to success.
Follow and listen to Rule Breakers with Soraya, an Odyssey podcast available now for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. There's one more fast food place. I think we should go there because this is a very new one. Wendy's did not have breakfast for a long, long time. I think this is the most unhinged breakfast sandwich out of all of them. So this is the breakfast Baconator. This is an abomination. Wendy's, so this is...
So it's sausage fashioned into a burger. Into square sausage. Yes, they always do it square. They like to do it square over there. Because Wendy's doesn't cut corners. Yeah? It's actually a way... That's kind of their reasoning and their little slogan. Or it used to be. But the actual reason is that you can just fit more on a grill when it's square. Oh, well, that makes sense. And then it kind of does also like...
Dave Thomas, who founded Wendy's in the 60s, significantly later than most of these fast food restaurants started. It might have even been the 70s, but it started in Ohio. He was all about the appearance of abundance, right? He was like, I want people to come here and feel like they're being taken care of. That's nice. And he really did a lot of work. Seems like a pretty good dude. And the Square Burgers kind of gave that, but there's also the reason that you can just fit more beef on the grill. Kind of iconic. Super iconic. And...
For a while, when Wendy's pivoted, they were trying to hit the margins of like, let's make chicken salad sandwiches. Let's make a grilled Asiago chicken ciabatta. Remember the Asiago ads? That made me laugh. Asiago, Asiago. Those would make me laugh so much. I love their ciabatta menu. I thought it was like really, really well done. Their ciabatta burger was like great and fun. I like their ciabatta burger. But at the end of the day, they found what people wanted. Chili. It's the Baconator. And the chili. The chili. A way to use the leftover burgers. It's smart. I think it's smart. It's so smart. But now their entire menu is just based off the Baconator.
Didn't someone find a thumb in the Chili's chili? I think it was a fraud. I think they planted a severed finger in the chili. Oh, what? That sounds evil. Do you like it? This is very Wendy's. It's very Wendy's. It is bun. It's soft. What do you think? I'm spitting it out. Why are you spitting it out? This is weird. I don't like it.
The sausage is really hard, griddled, and cooked like a burger. I don't like that at all. The sausage isn't as well emulsified as the other ones. The other ones have this nice little snap. You know what I mean? This feels like chunky ground meat. Yes. It's a coarser grind of sausage. Which I don't love, especially in a fast food breakfast. Same, same, same. I want it soft, smooth, and silky. I want my sausage supple, you know? I want my sausage supple. I feel like— I want my sausage now.
I feel like, though, Wendy's executed exactly what they wanted to do with the Baconator breakfast sandwich. Their bacon is really good, though. Their bacon is great. Their fast food bacon, Wendy's fast food bacon is iconic and delicious always. Well, that's why the Baconator was so successful, man. What do you think makes it better? Because fast food bacon, like, it can get real janky. Whatever they're smoking it with, it's great. I don't know what it is. If it's hickory, cherry, alderwood, I don't know. But whatever they're smoking their bacon with...
10 out of 10 fast food bacon experience. It imparts like a ton of flavor throughout the entire sandwich. Right. You know what I mean? Right, right, right. The egg, the fried egg is perfectly fine and good. The bun, I would say probably tastes better than like a Jack in the Box. But there's something about the breakfast sandwich that I would just never, I would never order this in the wild. Maybe it's too smoky. I think it's too smoky.
As a generality, like I love bacon. I love bacon in a breakfast burrito. Sure. Do I love it in a breakfast sandwich? Let me tell you, I don't love breakfast sandwiches. I'm a breakfast burrito girl through and through. What is it about it? About breakfast sandwiches that turn me off. I think it's the mess factor. None of these are particularly messy. Maybe it's just my mind. It's all screwed up. I don't know. I don't love breakfast sandwiches. Sick thoughts. I'll make my own breakfast sandwich, and a bagel's not a sandwich. Correct.
Even if you sandwich it, it's not a sandwich. It's a bagel. Exactly, yes. So like a bagel is not a sandwich, but I'll eat a bagel. But something about breakfast sandwiches, they're not that satisfying to me. There's a satisfaction quota that it doesn't meet always for me. I make a lot of breakfast sandwiches specifically for Julia on English muffins. Sweet. That's our fun little weekend thing. Nice. And I make my own sausage out of turkey all the time to be a little healthy. Mm-hmm.
And then I'll always make some sort of like spicy mayo or maybe even put a little tomato paste in that spicy mayo. Yeah. This is kind of halfway to ketchup. So I'm a bit of a breakfast sandwich connoisseur in my own right. But yeah, there's something about the Wendy's Baconator that's just not doing it for me. But I could see other people like really loving it. I think it's well executed. What do you give it? I give it for my own personal taste. I mean, I think it's still probably a seven. It's really well done. I'm going to give it a six. I'm trying. Man.
That's crazy. Wendy's Baconator, that's like probably the most new school breakfast sandwich we're going to have. I didn't love it. I'm sorry. Now we're going to go to the fringe places that sell a lot of breakfast. Let's go to Dunkies. They're definitely not in the same category of McDonald's, although McDonald's with McCafe is certainly trying to take a bite out of Dunkies and Starbucks Market Share. So I think this is a sourdough sandwich. Why did you open it like that? I don't know. Ugh.
Oh, this is a bummer. It's going to be bad. I asked for it toasted. Oh, rats. This is going to be awful. Let me tell you. I love that they gave me a bread option. They gave me an egg option. They gave me a sausage option. They also gave me a cheese option. They gave me options. And they said toasted or untoasted. I'm pissed off. Try the sausage by itself. Well, I want to eat the sandwich. No, try the sausage by itself. Let me know what you think. Because that's what a lot of this comes down to is what's the sausage taste like.
There's something like really unnerving about it. Too spongy. Almost human. There's a weird flavor to it. Human? Yeah, it could be human. It almost tastes like butane. There's like a weird butaniness to it. Well, I'm watching Yellow Jackets right now and think about human flesh. Ella Purnell, friend of the show. She gets... So good. Let me tell you, I love her eyes. Oh my God, I love everything about Ella Purnell. She was so sweet on the show, man. Her eyes are haunting. Them girls' eyes is haunting.
Something went down the wrong tube. It's the human flesh. It's fleshy. Something about it's fleshy. Not in a good way. Let me shout out to all the people who grew up with like multiple working parents, probably lower income. We've all had the feeling of having the ingredients to make a sandwich, but the complete wrong bread. You got peanut butter and jelly. You ain't got bread. You got corn tortillas. You know what you're eating for lunch? Corn tortilla, peanut butter, and jelly. That's just happening.
You know, you got hamburger meat. You ain't got no hamburger buns. You got hot dog buns. You're making a log of hamburger and you're eating a ham dog. Is there too much sage in the sausage? Is that what it is? The sage? Isolate. It's kind of burnt sage. Isolate. Isolate. This is simply the wrong bread for a sandwich. We could have gotten different breads. Part of this is on us. But if we get the option, we want to get something that we haven't tried. Okay, I'll take full responsibility. I fudged up, all right? No, no, no. They have the option, you know. You should be able to get it. Yeah, if they offered...
offered if we were at a PB&J restaurant they offered corn tortillas let me tell you would one person get it yeah would they feel bad about it absolutely it was never as good as you wanted it to be the corn tortilla PB&J no matter how you toast the tortilla I'd make little tostadas out of it throw it in the oven do whatever never as good as you wanted it to be the corn the peanut butter and the like just strawberry sugar sauce that we call jelly
That did not taste good together. I always had raspberry preserves growing up. Seeds or no seeds? Seeds. Dude, it's sage. Sage is the flavor. Too much sage. And I like sage and sausage. Am I a super taster? Wait, wait, wait. It tastes like pot. Would you? It's like sage and hot oil. It tastes like pot. It tastes like. That's a weird flavor in this. It tastes like, what do they call them? Space cakes? Yeah. But sausage. Yeah, yeah. Somehow Dunkin' Donuts sandwich tastes like marijuana. It tastes like marijuana. With none of the psychoactive properties. That's incredible. Well, not yet.
40 minutes later. See you in 40 minutes, babe. They call them fingers, but they never fing, man. I'm sorry. I had full-on snot come out of my mouth. That's an old joke stolen from The Simpsons. Shout out to Bill Oakley, friend of the show. He may have written that joke. It was Otto, the bus driver.
They call them fingers that they never fing. And I don't think I got that joke for so long. Now I do and I'm able to steal it on our podcast. Yeah, I give that like a three. Like a pretty... We give it a four. I'm going to have it tied with Jack in the Box. Or Jack in the Crack. Let me ask you this. This is... If you got that in an airport... I'll pay $17 for it. Would you finish it? You'd be like, well, I don't love it, but...
The thing about airports is it's like international waters. Like laws don't exist. Correct. So it's okay if I eat something. I think I would throw away the Dunkin' Sandwich. At an airport? I know. And then I would get a Core Power 42-gram protein shake and a five-hour energy shot and just rough it on the plane until I landed.
I think that's what I would do. And I'm not proud of it. Food waste isn't good. But I would just be like, this isn't going to serve me. I'm going to be in a weird mood on the plane now because I ate that. You know what my problem is whenever I go on airplanes? Not when I go on airplanes, but when I'm in the airport. I try not to eat...
my food on the airplane. Did you get a sausage nugget in your water? No, I got the corner of the Jack in the Box hot sauce packet in my drink. Ew. When I go to the airport, I try to eat the foods that are only special to that airport. That's kind of a losing game, though. I know, I know. And that's the fun part about...
Being me. I went to the Austin airport once and there's the Salt Lake barbecue, which is like, it's fun. It's like a Disneyland barbecue. But it's fake. Yeah, but even the Salt Lake barbecue, the Salt Lake itself is kind of fake. It's all smoked off site and whatever. But I went to the Salt Lake thing in the airport and they had barbecue breakfast tacos. And I was like, it's a better option than Cinnabon right now. And so I got there like pulled chicken and there was just like a whole...
whole leg bone and I was crunching and almost broke a tooth and I was just like, I'm out. I'm never doing this again. The Cafe Du Monde in the New Orleans airport, just like the worst beignets you've ever had. Yeah, I'm not in. Okay, we are now in Starbucks territory. This is... We have a direct McMuff competitor. This is a sausage cheddar sandwich.
And a little side of sriracha because they got it like that. That's cool. I don't care who you are. That's cool. McDonald's, I don't believe, has sausage or sauce sriracha. I'm done. I told you the marijuana. I got the pot sausage. The pot sausage is getting to you. McDonald's used to have sriracha. Remember when they introduced sriracha? Yeah. And they no longer do. Oh, you want me to just ratch it up? Okay. Let's try the srirachas because sriracha is funny because it kind of means nothing. It's sweet.
This tastes nothing like sriracha. Well, it tastes more like Thai sriracha than Hoi Fong Foods brand sriracha. But this is my ideal breakfast hot sauce. Starbucks, you came at the king and you missed. Yo. And now here you are.
Against McDonald's the greatest breakfast sandwich of all time goat and you look silly Starbucks you are out here looking silly look silly. I've eaten this before I've eaten a lot of breakfast sandwiches before why cuz you're driving down to San Diego You need to rip a bunch of espresso shots. Why do you go to San Diego so much? I have a lot of friends in San Diego, and I enjoy that in my time They're like drinking beers outside great city to do that in And you got a Starbucks breakfast sandwich to fill you up
It is nowhere near as good as McDonald's. And, like, it's not, like, less processed or anything, right? It's sausage, egg, and cheese. Those are—sausage and cheese are, like, the most processed ingredients. Sausage is the earliest example of us, like, really processing the hell out of meat in history. Pretty damn good. It's not like you're eating anything healthier at Starbucks than you are at McDonald's. The McDonald's breakfast sandwich is crazy. It's crazy.
It goes crazy, right? It goes crazy, stupid, dumb. Oh, and another bite. I took another bite. My God. Truly. Okay, I'm going to give this, I'm going to give the Dunkin', what did I give it, a four? The Starbucks one, I'm going to give a five just for the sake of giving it a five. Yeah. I'll give it a five. It's not actually bad, but the fact that it is the same exact makeup as McDonald's and it's so much worse.
This is still like a great option for driving down to San Diego specifically. This guy in San Diego. You know what I did? Sorry, I went to San Diego this weekend, but coming on the way back up, I woke up from a nap and had to pee, and so we pulled off at Starbucks. I didn't have any protein yet that day, and so I got three orders of their egg white bites, which I think is 500 calories and like 40 grams of protein. Are you kidding me?
A perfect meal for me. It was great. Their egg bites are incredible. I love their egg bites. It's a crustless quiche. I like to get... Even the egg white bites, like, they taste good because there's a bunch of cottage cheese blended in them. I like to get two... I mean, one order that comes with two egg bites of the... What is it? The...
The egg white ones? Oh, the egg white ones. And then I also get the bacon and gruyere ones. Yeah. So I have four egg bites. That's a much better breakfast option than Starbucks trying to play in the quarter McDonald's. Also, they got that little egg white spinach feta wrap. That's good. Get a 32-ounce pink drink. Are there any that were not represented here that you have an infinity for? No. None? Yeah, you're not a breakfast sandwich girlie. I'm not a breakfast sandwich girlie. I'm not. And I never will be. But the McDonald's one, holy crap.
They didn't even need the McGriddles to win. They didn't need the McGriddles to win. I guess not. McDonald's is definitively the best breakfast sandwich in the game. The sausage McMuffin with egg, I don't think, can possibly be beat by any fast food restaurant. Y'all let us know if there are ones out there that you prefer that we didn't hit because we definitely missed some.
A lot of them. The one that I will say I loved when I used to eat in college when I was a bigger boy and I needed to stay big and strong was Carl's Jr.'s breakfast burger. Okay. They just put tater tots, bacon, eggs, and cheese on a big-ass hamburger. Carl's Jr. always does that kind of stuff. And it was incredible. The chargrill of the burger, the crispiness, the tots, every—you would use 15 ketchup packets on the entire thing. You would? Yeah, you as in me.
There's a lot of Taco Bell-y items that they've had some that could technically qualify as a sandwich, but not necessarily. But I feel really good about naming McDonald's the champion. Well done, Mickey D's. Well done. All right, Nicole, I've heard what you and I have to say, and we're burping up eggs. Now it's time to find out what other wack yetis are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a little segment we call Opinions are like casseroles. Oh, yeah.
Put a little stank on it. I know, I really want to play stand-up bass. I used to play stand-up bass. Yeah? Where's your stand-up bass? Bring it in. I played it in seventh grade. Yeah? Yeah. You forgot it? No. Oh, bummer. Love to play it. Josh, speaking of stand-up basses, I have a little game I want to play with you. Go on. Okay, we're going to play start, bench, cut with some breakfast meat items. Do you know what start, bench, cut implies? Oh, you told me to say it, though, so I just said it.
No, we owe our audiences. We owe our audiences. So there's the old F. Mary Kill game that everyone's been playing for years. Here's the thing. I was going to say love, what was it? Love, leave, lust? Yeah, that's separate. But the whole FMK, you can't say that for it already. And then Kill is really aggressive. And also, you can't say that on certain platforms. Yeah, I don't want to do F. Mary Unalive. F. Mary Unalive. Yeah, it's not fun. Love, lust, leave. It's solid. But then to me, the thing that's more intuitive is start, bench, cut. Okay, gotcha.
Your starter is Mary. Your bench is someone you want to keep around, so that's like the side piece, right? So that's F. And then to kill is to cut a player off your team. Sounds right. Sports analogy. When I do this with you, we can do love, lust, leave. No, it's okay. We can do start, bench, cut. Great. Okay. Start, bench, cut. Bacon, sausage, ham.
I'm cutting ham. I grew up eating too much terrible lunch meat ham and Oscar Mayer, Carl Budig, the 99 cent ham. I love a good ham, like a good Virginia country ham. There's nothing better. A honey baked ham is great, but I'm cutting ham out of my life.
This is controversial. I am benching bacon. Oh, my God. Me too. Listen, bacon is one of the greatest things on earth, but I think we grew up in an era of epic mealtime and Guy Fieri and everyone adding bacon strips on absolutely everything. And to me, bacon is best when it's a special treat for you. But my mainstay, this is a thousands-year-old dish, Nicole, sausage.
Sausage is, to me, the greatest breakfast meat. It's the greatest lunch meat. There are thousands of different varieties. I think the sumptuousness of a sausage patty, especially in a breakfast sandwich or a breakfast burrito, is absolutely unbeatable. That's my starter. They're taking me all the way to the big game.
Nicole, love, lust, leave. Love, lust, leave. Bacon, sausage, ham. I agree with you 100%. I'm starting breakfast sausage because there's nothing like it. Every single time I'm at a continental breakfast, I will always get the sausage links without fail. They're so good. I love them so much.
I'm gonna bench bacon as well. Bacon, it had its moment in the sun, but I'm not obsessed with it anymore, and I refuse to make it my whole personality, and you should too, listeners. And, you know, I'm gonna cut ham, breakfast ham, again, unless it's on an eggs benny and it's Canadian bacon. I'm not going for it. You said continental like Marissa Tomei and my cousin Vinny, and I really like that. Okay. The Buick Skylark didn't have positraction in 1963.
Let's get to that first thing. So whenever I eat bagels, I put cream cheese and strawberries on it. Whenever somebody who is new and sees me do that, they say I'm crazy. Why? How can I tell them that I'm not crazy without forcing them to eat it?
Thank you. I'm from Boca Raton. Boca Raton. I'm from Boca Raton. Okay. Eating bagels in Boca Raton. Every Jewish person's dream. Sign me up. Can I tell you something? This morning, sidebar, my husband made me a bagel. Do I love him more than life itself? Absolutely. He scooped my bagel, toasted it. He unconsensually scooped your bagel. He unconsensually
consensually scooped by bagel. Do you know what that means? Do you know what that means for me? That is so disrespectful. And let me tell you, and then he put cream cheese on it. How much cream cheese did he put? He put a tablespoon of cream cheese. I looked at him, I took a bite, and I said, David, this is not how you construct a bagel. I literally went in, I got my Philadelphia, and I put it on there, and I said, this is how you construct a bagel. He took a bite of it, he's like, yeah, you're right. So I just had to air that out, baby, I love you for making me breakfast, but you need to be better about it, okay? I love you, thank you.
I could imagine this on a toasted sesame bagel. A toasted sesame bagel with cream cheese and strawberries. Yum yum in my tum. Where are the haters? I'm talking still. I'm just kidding. The haters, I don't know where they are. I don't want to be around them because this sounds really good. And sweet bagels are okay. People are like, cinnamon raisin bagels are the devil's work. Like, shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
I think it shows a decent amount of immaturity for people to look at the strawberry and cream cheese bagel and not immediately see the vision. I think you are a visionary. So I think maybe you just have to wait for society to catch up. But what you're ultimately describing here is called the Cassandra Complex, where it's only you know the truth. But by telling people the truth and telling them you're not crazy, you ultimately come off as crazy. I'm not crazy. Right? This is a thousand years. No, I know.
you're not, but now you said I'm not crazy. So I'm like, God, should I think that she's crazy for some reason? So it's kind of a bit of a paradox that goes back thousands of years. What I will say, this seems like a food item that would appear in a Philadelphia cream cheese commercial.
That I would look at and go, who's eating that? And it's you out there in Boca Raton. It's not that weird, though. No, it's not. It's literally not weird at all. I grew up eating cream cheese and jam on a bagel. Me too. And strawberry jam is great. But like, yeah, fresh strawberries are just as good. And it almost gives you that like, I love a tomato on a cream cheese bagel. Me too. Because you get the juiciness, you know, and it plays really well. And it cuts through it. The strawberries are juicy. That's a great food that I've, I don't think I've ever just had that. And I'd really like to now. Good on you. You're not crazy, but you can't tell anybody that. Because then they'll think you're crazy.
Hi, my name's Jesse and I'm not an almond mom, but I'm definitely a fitness girly. So I do eat some weird things. I thought I'd share.
Tofu with drizzled condensed milk over it is one of my favorite desserts. Baby cucumbers and Nutella is great. And then baked sweet potatoes with some marshmallows and different graham crackers into it. Great. Those are all my best fit girl snacks that other people judge me for, but I think they're delicious. Okay. Love you guys. Bye. We're judging you.
Out of one of the three, which means 66% of your desserts, your fit girl desserts are doing pretty good. So there you go. The cucumber and Nutella. Because one, I understand. It's the crunch. It's the crunch. But also there are more neutral vegetable flavors that have the same nutritional profile as cucumber. What would you say would be a better vegetable or fruit, vegetable, let's say, to dip in? Fennel? No, fennel and Nutella? What are you, crazy? Fennel, Nutella.
jicama jicama okay that's jicama I think there's something about the juiciness of the cucumbers that doesn't play jicama has almost the cellular makeup of like an apple I think that's a good trade off and it's not as spicy it's sweet it's not as like oniony as like a breakfast radish or whatever I think jicama would be great with that sweet potato marshmallow awesome awesome and the tofu with condensed milk that
That just like sounds like a dessert. One of my favorite desserts, it's not a proper dessert, but you go to dim sum and they have the steamed silken tofu in like a brown rice syrup. I haven't been to dim sum in maybe 15 years. Oh, dude. Yeah. Condensed milk on some silken tofu especially. You're probably using extra firm tofu if you're a fitness mom because that is more protein. That's right. That's right.
But yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. Tofu, you can make like a... It's so neutral tofu that you could do whatever you want with it and you could have a good time. Eat it hot, eat it cold, eat it silken, eat it firm. 100%. Yeah. The little creme brulee sweet potato. Dude, you roast the sweet potato hella hard and then you put some sugar on it and just brulee it. And then it cracks. Yeah, it's so good. Come on now. Iconic. Vegetables for dessert, dude. Do it. It's great.
Vietnam has all their like jia, which is like taro pudding, sweet potato, corn. It's great, man. Red bean. Totally. Hey, Josh. Hey, friends. Big fans. How big? I don't know if it's controversial. I've just never really seen it outside of my household. Cottage cheese on potatoes. Oh. Typically baked.
Tell me what you think. I'll die on this hill, but just let me know. I'd rather have cottage cheese than sour cream on a pig. Hey, interesting.
I know. I know. You know? I have feelings. You go. Only if you blend it. If you don't blend it. I was going to say that. Huh? I was going to say that. I knew you were going to say that. That's why I tried to say it before you. I'm sorry. Because I knew we were going to have the same thought and I just wanted to say it before you. Yeah, no, don't tell me. Tell them. Tell the people. You should blend it. Yeah, you should blend it. We're both going to say it. Blend it.
Okay, so yeah, cottage cheese. I love the flavor, but it's the curds in the wet. It's a violent contrast. The curds.
have the potential to ruin your day, just completely derail your day. Do you agree with me? Yeah, absolutely. It's not a pleasant thing. And I feel weird because I don't know, I eat a lot of like weird textured things and cottage cheese is maybe something I should like. I don't. I almost never eat it. I love ricotta. Ricotta is great. Not as much protein as like your American cottage cheese. But cottage cheese does have the saltier curd component, which is why you probably like it better on potatoes than say a sour cream, which doesn't really have salt in it.
Why isn't there a product, I'm sure there is now, of just blended cottage cheese? I don't know. We have a giant industrial blender. We dumped it all in there and now we're selling it for a dollar more. I think it's the smartest thing to do and someone needs to do it ASAP Rocky because you will see they probably need to rebrand it as something else. Silken. Silken cheese. Silken cottage cheese.
Silken. You think you got to take cottage out of the name? Maybe. Silk cheese? No, because silk is the soy cheese. They make a vegan cheese and it's already a brand. Well, that's the brand. Yeah, but silken. Silken cheese? Silken high-protein cheese. High-protein silk cheese? Silken cheese? Yeah, pop some salt and pepper in that blended cottage cheese. Only blended. Maybe even like a little parm in there. Yeah. That's like, yeah, arguably the ideal potato topper. That sounds good. You know? I do like sour cream on potatoes.
do just like sour cream chive a lot of salt on a potato how do you feel about caviar on baked potatoes I've never done it don't love it I'm much caviar on a potato chip is great I love caviar my favorite way to eat caviar is just on like bread
Bread? Just like bread, creme fraiche, or some sort of like a... A blini? Eastern block sour cream. Not even a blini. Just like sourdough bread. Oh. Like a nice rustic loaf. That's not like the crust isn't too hard. Do you like caviar on like sushi? Yeah, it's fine. I don't love caviar on sushi. I love caviar like...
On its own. I've had some like good sushi caviar. I've had some like really bad caviar dishes. Yeah. Where I'm like, we're doing this for the clout. I don't want to be here. Yeah, it's exhausting. And also caviar to me, it's best when it's just ice, ice, ice cold. It needs to be cold, yeah. So you're taking caviar and some people have even started, you dump caviar into like a beurre blanqui sauce. It cooks it. Yeah, and you like do it at the last minute, but like serve it with something. It scrambles the eggs. And you get the hot caviar. Hot caviar is not a good thing. Like hot caviar.
Hot roe and like hot like mentaiko or whatever. Like I'm down, but like. Yeah, mentaiko is the Japanese cod roe. I've had some good like hot like soba with mentaiko. Yeah, I'm down with like mentaiko or tobiko. Yeah. But I'm not down for like. A sturgeon caviar. Sturgeon, kaluga. Which has such a briny ocean flavor. Or like the salmon roe, like the fat popping. Yeah. Situation. God, I love, oh, I love just a fat salmon roe. What, ikura?
Ikura Gunkanmaki. Oh, my God. Gunkanmaki is a little boat. Ikura Gunkanmaki might be my favorite sushi. And that's saying something. Yeah, a little fishy popping boat, though. Okay, sorry. We kind of went on a tangy tang. I'm a fraud, too, also. I put caviar on my lot because it's here, and that was really a delight. But they did it at the last minute, and I made sure everyone ate it very quickly. Good. You ever do that where you cook a food that has to be eaten at a certain temperature, and people are, like, talking, and you're like, shut the hell up and eat it? Of course, of course.
I did that when I made carbonara the other day. I was just like, every second this sits, it gets worse because it congeals. Absolutely. I cooked this in a double boiler, Bill. I need you to eat it now. I know you're saying pleasantries. We have problems. We have problems. And we need to address them eventually. Ultimately, we have control issues, I think. Yeah. And a little bit of low self-esteem that doesn't give us a confidence. I have very high self-esteem. Have you seen my face? Moneymaker. Yeah.
We got one more? Yeah, we got one more. One more, Maggie. One more. My elbow hurts too bad to raise my hand.
Tennessee? Wow, Josh's exhale is really aggressive. Hey, guys, it's Sam from Montana. I am calling because I want to know, do you think it's weird to put dates in tuna salad? I grew up eating it that way. My dad always made it that way. I've gotten made fun of most of my life for it, and I want to hear your thoughts. Okay, thanks so much. Bye. I have thoughts. Yeah.
So sweet tuna salad, not very uncommon. People put apples in it all the time. Is that not uncommon? Apples and tuna salad? Yeah. Apples and chicken salad, sure. Apples and tuna. I think that changes- You've never had apples and tuna? No.
Maybe I've had it. Have you ever gone to Il Chamezzino and gotten their tuna special number two? Absolutely not. Oh, well then me and you are completely, we're different books, different chapters. We shouldn't even be doing this anymore. All right, I'll leave. You and Sam from Montana can hang out eating your date tuna salad. I call him Sam-tana. Sweet tuna salads are not a bad thing. Sometimes people put a little bit of sugar in their tuna salads.
Do you not do that? Why are you looking at me like I have four heads? I think that's crazy. I've never put anything sweet in my, not even a, I guess sweet relish is popular, which that's quite sweet, but I vastly dislike sweet relish in my tuna salad. I like a sweet chicken salad. I like a hyper savory tuna salad. This is so interesting. I like both. I find value in both. Sometimes I do a Mediterranean twist. I put some olives in there, some lemon. You know, it's a good time. And then raisins can go in that, but that's only if there's like olives and capers and chilies.
I wouldn't put raisins. Like a Tunisian, like a North African tuna salad. I wouldn't do that. That's a very common thing. Now I feel crazy. Josh, are we fighting? I think this is the biggest fight we've ever had on the show. This is ridiculous. I mean, again, like I've never been so shocked. I want like Jordan air in my tuna salad. I don't want like just funk. Combat the mercury taste. I really do like a really acidic tuna salad too. The dates, the texture of the date is what's making me pause.
pause but I do like the idea of it if it's seasoned appropriately if it's like there's like coriander and like paprika think they're putting coriander in the tuna salad yeah you think they are you really think they're putting coriander if they're putting dates in it they might as well well if you put coriander let us know call back
You don't need to call back if you don't want to. Yeah, think about dates. One, you get dates with different textures. Like, I have a bunch of deglet dates in my... I hate deglet dates. I hate deglet dates. Julie bought the deglet dates. Medjool. Medjool dates only. Medjool king of date. Bari dates are fantastic. I don't like dates. I visited a date farm recently. I love them.
Big date guy. But yeah, there's another one that's super caramelly. But anyways, the point is dates can be like super chewy. But a thing that you can do, this is what I do if I add raisins to something like a tuna salad if I'm going for a North African Sicilian vibe. I will pour like red wine vinegar over the raisins and I'll microwave it for like 30 seconds and then I'll let them sit. And then the raisins kind of rehydrate so they're not like super, super dense and chewy. Because also you'll have some dates, some raisins that are softer and harder than others in different points of desiccation.
So I'd say rehydrate the dates, let them chill, mix them with a tuna salad. That's the way to go. That's a good... Let me look at your date. Let me look at your date. Is that Bari dates? What's the one I can't see?
Sokari. Sokari dates are my favorite of all time. Sokari? Dude, sorry, Sokari dates. I don't know if it's pronounced like that. They are like utter toffee caramel surrounded by a pit. I have three dates a day. Soft Sokari dates. I eat three medjool dates every day. I've had Sarawi dates. They're okay. They're pretty good. Sarawi dates have this super treacly molasses flavor to them. Yum. Did you know a lot of people eat dates during Ramadan?
Why? Because it does something with like... It retains your energy. They say like it doesn't...
your glucose levels, but apparently it just like replenishes you. And a lot of times whenever I open my fasts, like for Yom Kippur or whatever, like I have a date first. Yeah, I grew up eating dates. I think it's just kind of a dewy thing because they're all over the Bible. I freaking love dates. I freaking love dates. But yeah, also obviously big in like Middle Eastern Muslim world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a Somali roommate and he, yeah, he would always eat dates during Ramadan. Dates and cucumbers. This is what like helps keep your body like cool and regulated. Totally. I don't know, man, I was like dates. But,
But, you know, teach their own. That's about it. I think we're done with the podcast. So how are you feeling after all those breakfast sandwiches? I'm going to have to use the spit bucket again.
I'm going to have to use the shit bucket. All right, on that note, thank you so much for stopping by at Hot Dog and Sandwich. We've got new episodes out every Wednesday, new videos out every Sunday. If you want to be on Opinions or like Casseroles, hit us up at 833-DOGPOD1. We'd love to hear your voice. And if you're not completely disgusted by the way we ate, you decide you'd like to see our face and you want to see more of it, you can head over to the Mythical Kitchen YouTube channel. Statistically...
I swear a majority of you are watching this. So thank you. Stay. Stay a while. Click through some other videos. Go back like five years and click on an old video and then tell us how much we've changed. That'd be really cool. Only if we've changed for the better. Because I've gotten worse in a lot of ways. I don't like that about myself. See y'all next time.