Which Restaurants Have the Best Free Bread?
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Membership required. Subject to terms and conditions. Applies to orders over $35. Best kind of bread. Sourdough, rye, focaccia. Free. Free bread. Free bread is best bread. This is a hot dog as a sandwich. Ketchup as a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog as a sandwich. A hot dog as a sandwich. What?

Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And Nicole, today we are discussing a dwindling American export. This is something that millennials have killed among many things. Way to go, millennials. Way to go.

The free bread at chain restaurants. It's the best part about chain restaurants. It's the best part about chain restaurants. It's the best part about going to any restaurant is getting the free bread plate. And now you go to any new independently owned restaurant, especially a place a little higher end, and they got the free bread. The problem is it ain't free. The free bread costs $8 to $12. Bread service is what they're doing.

they call it. Bread service. You get your pop-over rolls. But no, no, no. These are the last bastions of American greatness and excess. That's right. That they have so much abundance that they just give you their food for free. It's such a nice thing to do. It's a nice thing to do. It genuinely is. From a hospitality standpoint, it makes you feel loved and welcomed. The other ironic part about all this is...

They filed for bankruptcy. They filed for bankruptcy. A lot of these places are struggling right now. So now we need to reignite the fire behind all of these chain restaurants and their free bread, Nicole. I'm ready. Giving them the publicity that they deserve. I mean, this is just a question that I've always wanted to answer myself because I love bread and I love free bread. So why not see who has the best free bread available?

And a lot of people have very strong opinions about this. They really do. They really, really do. They're very passionate about certain kinds of free breads that we have in front of us at our table. We have a lot of breads in front of us. Should we just jump into it and get going? Do you have any opinions about these off the bat? Yes. I am so excited to specifically dive into the wood ranch bread because it's almost like have you ever seen those –

Self-saucing cakes. Have you ever heard? Wood Ranch free bread is like a self-saucing cake because it's dunked in the most luxurious but ludicrously green herb butter ever. And it's so spongy and it soaks it all up. And when you bite into it, it's like a ShamWow of garlic butter margarine herb sauce. It truly is. It looks dry on the outside. It's like a toad. It absorbs moisture through its skin. It's a toad. You know? It's so toad.

So toady. My money here, I think all of Garden Breadsticks may be like the most overrated bread product of all time. God bless them. Love the old garden. They're so shiny though. They're so shiny. We love that. Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Are biscuits bread? No.

Biscuits are defined as a quick bread, Nicole, but as you see, all of these here are yeasted bread. So this is different, but it is a bread product that they place on your table for free. It deserves a spot here. Right, right, right, correct. Also, the honorable mention, the Outback bread. I love how big and dark it is.

You know what I mean? Girthy, too. It's just so... You know whenever you eat there, they stick a huge knife in it? Yeah. And they wouldn't give us the knife, and I didn't want to put a knife out on the table. Have you seen those twins? It's such a... Have you seen those twins that were...

about the twin interview where it's two twins talking about how their mom got carjacked? I saw it on the timeline and I decided not to click on it. Oh, it's so good. They're very coordinated and very Australian. Incredible. We were in cleaning our birds and we heard this big bang. We said, oh no, another car accident. And one guy, he was up there with our mom

And he went up there and he was coming back down towards us. And he goes, run. He's got a gun. So we have a bunch of breads. We have bread from California Pizza Kitchen. We have Wood Ranch. We have Texas Roadhouse. We have Outback. We have Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and we have Cheesecake Factory. Sorry if we missed your favorite.

Comment your favorites down below and comment how much you hate us and think that we're doing dereliction of duty. Hey! No, I'm saying we need to get taken down a peg. I don't need to be confident. Honey, I've been taken down plenty. I don't need any more of it. Where do you want to start? Let's start with the Cheddar Bay Biscuits. CBB! CBB! I don't put any additional butter on my Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Give me a butter. Okay, Nicole's buttering her biscuit. I'm buttering her biscuit too. Not like that.

Why would you say that? Has anyone been assigned to butter your muffin? Okay. Yum. The Cheddar Bay Biscuit from Red Lobster. It has this beautiful golden hue. You can smell it more than any other bread at this table. There's little chunks of bright orange cheddar cheese. There's flecks of green. Chunks of bright orange, flecks of green. That's what I want in my food. Sounds like a Sting song from the 90s.

After one bite, I can tell you this is not being beaten. No, you can't say that. You can't say that. You know what I like about this biscuit, though? It's not as baking soda, baking powder heavy as other biscuits, which I appreciate. Because sometimes whenever you bite into biscuits, you can taste the leavening agent so strongly. But because of the cheddar and the green flecks in there...

You can barely taste it. How often do you make biscuits? I never make biscuits. You never make biscuits? Why would I make a biscuit? I don't have to make a biscuit. I don't work on a cooking show, dude. I've been doing a cooking show for like five and a half years. Can you put mine over there? Thank you. I don't need to make... You don't need to eat my biscuit. Yeah, that was weird. But if there's food in my hand, I want to put it in my mouth. I really do like the flavor of these, though. Yeah. They're excellently seasoned. They're almost like... I wouldn't say almost too salty for a starter, but that's just going to get you to drink more like...

Captain Morgan, Blue Curacao, Fishbowl, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, order another glass of their $7 house white.

I do detect a film. Now, is that film from the extraneous butter I put on there, or is that from the shellacked margarine on top with the bay seasoning? That is correct, Nicole. That is the shellacked margarine coating your palate. Yeah, you eat this biscuit. We're talking about the wood ranch rolls exuding oil. No, these biscuits are filled with grease. They are. But it's solid grease. It's hydrogenated vegetable oil for sure. Don't think of using real butter. It tastes good.

Can I tell you why? Because it melts on contact with the heat of your mouth. And it makes it more pleasant. It's like rubbing coconut oil in your hands to give your partner a massage, you know? What? That's not...

That's sensual, that's not sexual, that's not inappropriate to say. You don't give your partner a massage. Like a nice end of day, not like a sexy one. No, no, no, massages are very important. And coconut oil is a good... It's non-comedogenic. See? It's expeller-pressed. That's what I'm saying. We're talking about the same thing here. It's a drop biscuit, right?

You know the difference between like a drop biscuit and like a... And a cut biscuit? Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know. They are mass producing these. So how do you know they're drop biscuits? Just because of their irregular shape? Yeah, their irregular lumpy shape, which makes you feel good. Well, maybe they exude it out of like a piping bag, but I don't think it's dropped with a spoon.

No, I think it's a robot spoon, though. I think it's a big old robot spoon scooping into the batter and going... Yeah, I think so, too. I think so, too. Goddamn, it's so good. You love them that much, though? Yeah. Okay, what would you rate them from 1 to 10? 9.3. I'm going to give them an 8. What? There's two... I think...

I think that a bread that is complimentary must be a little bit more bread-like. It is a free, listen, I'm not complaining. It's free. It's beautiful. It's delicious, whatever. It's almost, like you said, it's too seasoned. It is. Like this is a dish. Yeah, this is like a food. This is a food, not a bread. You could just sit there and eat these with a side of shrimp scampi and you'd be good.

They should make like shrimp sliders. They should. Chop the shrimp up. Chop like... No, don't chop the shrimp. Take the worst shrimp. No, no, no. Don't chop the shrimp. Like the ends of the shrimp. Oh, you mean the ones that people don't eat? Just the tail meat. You mean the ones that people don't eat? Take it off their plate. This is the way for Red Lobster to save money. Go... When you do the endless shrimp, I know the new CEO said he's killing that. Yeah, he's doing great. And when asked why, he said, because I can do math. Exactly. And I think that's hilarious. That was funny. But you take the uneaten shrimp tails and you pop the little meats out, mix that with mayonnaise, put it back in the kitchen, sell...

Cheddar Bay biscuit shrimp salad sliders. I'd buy it You know my dad always taught me how to eat the meat off the tail of the shrimp at a buffet He's like this is how you get more bang for your buck smart man by eating the tape And I'm like what are you doing? He's like there's meat in the tail Nicole god bless him okay? That averages out though to a composite score of eight point six five you did that in your head Yeah, pretty smart eating all of garden bread steak oh

Okay, no, no, split it with me and whoever gets the big- No, you have to start where I'm starting! And whoever gets the bigger piece has their wishes come true. Dang it! I want a pony! Okay. By Ginuwine. Olive Garden breadstick, also lacquered in grease. And that's not all these breads, only about half of them are lacquered in grease. Some of these are just bread. Why does mine taste like gasoline? It has a bitter note to it that I wasn't anticipating. Do you taste that bitterness?

I wonder if they let... Because there is a brushing of some sort of oil-like substance on it. I'm licking the breadstick. Nicole is licking the oily substance off the breadstick. There's something bitter about it. She looks like a cat who has discovered a thing that they're curious about. And then she's gone past the sniffing stage into the licking stage.

My fingers are greasy already. This does taste weirdly bitter. Why is it bitter? Also, I'm like, normally there's some. There's stuff on it. There's normally like a gritty patina. A sprinkle, if you will. You know, like if you freshly painted an outdoor wall, but like the wind. I've never painted an outdoor wall. But imagine you did. But I haven't. And the paint is still wet. I know, but imagine you're out there doing labor.

You know, when you paint a wall, but you're like near a sandbox and the wind blows some sand onto the wet paint. That's the texture that's on top of the Olive Garden breadstick. You know? It does taste like unfermented yeast. I don't like it. Yeah, it smells yeasty like a fresh made dough, which is not what you want because you want that yeast to actually ferment out. Yeah. Yeah.

Again, I do think these are the most overrated bread product. I think they're fun. They're iconic. They are endless. Could you imagine them dipped in a marinara or alfredo, though? Well, see, now that's where we're talking. But that's a free. They charge extra for that. And they charge a lot for that. We're not going to do that to ourselves. We're all about free 99 here. What I would do is get a side of ranch to dip these in. Oh, well, yeah. Listen, when we eat the CPK, I have a freaking eulogy for the CPK.

Do you have like a nostalgic bread product of your youth that isn't represented here though? No, no, no, no. It was always CPK bread. I have two. One, I don't know if they're national or if they're regional, but it's called Coco's. Coco's Diner. Not to be confused with Caro's. Was Coco's logo brown and white and it had a border around it? Never went. Never went.

You used to go there all the time. That's a real boomer restaurant. 100%. I used to go there with my boomer-ass dad. And he used to get like the, they had like a year-round turkey gravy and stuffing plate. My dad would get that. And then he would always complain that there was gristle in the turkey. So he'd get it for free. So he'd get it for free, even though there wasn't. And sometimes, I mean, three, four employees, managers would be out here dissecting this turkey. Wow, they didn't believe him? My dad would be going, I swear to God. It would have been easier if they just believed him. That's what I'm saying. Anyways. Believe, believe.

Believe Josh's dad. Don't. He was trying to scam you. But they had, like, a combo similar to Cheesecake Factory of, like, brown bread and white bread. Mm-hmm. But then they had this, like, garlic herb butter. Oh, so good. It just basically tasted like ranch butter. And I used to just eat tablespoons of it before the chicken strips. Mm-hmm.

And then another one, local chain Pat and Oscar's is much better breadsticks than Olive Garden. I've never had either of those restaurants. Pat and Oscar's, man. Shout out to anybody that remembers Pat and Oscar's in Southern California. Pat and Oscar's, not Pat and Oscar's. Correct. Pat and Oscar's. I know what you're saying. In this economy, you can have both.

I'm gonna give these a 5. Those are pretty brutal. I'm gonna give it a 4.5. They're not- What is that total? 4.75. You're so good at math. I am good at math. I got- I did the SAT math once. Maggie, has Josh always been good at math? Yes. Oh my god. Why are you asking Maggie about being good at math? Why would she know better than you? Because she's like a- She's like a third party. Like, she doesn't have any like skewed like, you know? Sure. Maggie, don't you like have a math degree? Computer science. Computer science. I'm real bad at math though, but you're better. It's fine. Thank you.

Can you record these for us so we can refer back to them? I am. Maggie's on top of it. Maggie, have you always been good at producing? No. Which one should we try next? Suck it, BuzzFeed days. BuzzFeed era, Maggie's sucking. Let's go Outback. I kind of want to save the cheesecake bag. I'm so excited. And I just can't haunt it?

Are you about to lose control? I think I like it. Oh my god, is this pumpernickel? Do they call it pumpernickel? I will say it's got the semolina on the bottom. I love that. It's dense and wet inside like a cake. I love me some Outback bread. You know what it is? They put honey in this.

Or sugar. Molasses maybe even. Oh my god, and it's so delectable. It makes such a soft crumb, but not a wet crumb. This is a fantastic bread. I want to hollow this bread out and make like not like a good sandwich, but just like a deli meat ham Swiss and honey mustard sandwich on this. Dip it in the salted butter, quote unquote butter. So good. Excellent. The whip on the butter, the crumb on the bread, out back.

Do you think this fits the theme of the restaurant? Because I'm trying to think of like all garden breadsticks. That makes sense. You dip it in the maraná. Cheddar Bay Biscuits, maybe. Do they fit the theme of a seafood restaurant? They're not like southern red lobster. I imagine when I think about going to like a seafood spot, my brain goes to French bread more than biscuits. Yeah. I don't know what kind of bread I'd want with my seafood spot. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, if I'm getting like a garlicky shrimp, I want some like crusty bread. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what the French bread, that's where the French bread comes in. With Outback, I feel like they just created it.

Like what Australian food was. Like they didn't do any research. I feel like. Outback was started in, I believe, Tampa, Florida. And none of the founders had ever been to Australia. Yeah. So they just kind of came up with whatever. And they're like, yeah, this brown bread is hella Australian. And we're all just like, uh-huh. Okay. Like, right. We'll have some kookaburra wings. Kookaburra wings. And they're so good. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't think.

I don't think Outback's bread has to fit the theme of Outback for it to be delicious and free bread. I guess it's interesting because the theme of Outback is Australia. Yeah. But the theme of Outback now is just like moderately priced steaks that are pretty good in an established atmosphere. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I kind of love that. I had a buddy from Australia who we took him to Outback. That's so funny. And he just was cackling the entire time. It's like, Queensland chicken and shrimp. We don't even say shrimp in all of Australia. It's bronze. Also, Queensland is landlocked. We don't make any shrimp. That's funny. And he was just going off. He was from Queensland too.

No, no. Sorry. It's not Queensland chicken. It was like Alice Springs. Just a random. They literally just threw a dart on him. Alice Springs is like a mining town in the middle of Australia. Whatever, man. And he was like, what the hell do you mean Alice Springs? You just looked at a map. Whatever, man. I know. But I do love this bread. And how much did I give the Outback? What? You mean Red Lobster? Red Lobster. How much did I give Red Lobster? 8.0. I'm going to give the Outback bread.

A solid 9.6. 9.6? It's so delicious. Wow. It's good, fresh, delicious. It's not too many frills. It's not too salty. It's just really damn good free bread. That's what it is. You can even like see the roll on the loaves. There's a lot of love that goes into this. There's a lot of love that's gone into this bread. This is an excellent bread. I'm going to give this. I'm going to say though, check this out. What? Crush it. Crumb doesn't spring back. This is a little bit too much like a cake.

I'm giving it an 8.7. It is great, though. It's great. Well, why don't you go ahead and squish the biscuit between your fingers if you're going to be so sassy pants McGee about this all. The biscuit springs back better than the yeasted loaf of bread. That's not normal. Fine, fine. I'll give you that. 8.7. For combined total love, math guy? What did you give it, 9.6? Yeah. 9.15. That's correct.

Hey, can we just like go to Vegas and you bet it all on red or something? Yeah, I don't think math works with that, but that is how I would gamble because I'm like smart enough to average two numbers together and not nearly smart enough to count cards. So I'm in that weird middle ground where I just go to Vegas and I just slowly lose money. I'm also wildly impulsive. Oh my God. And so rather than like waiting for the odds to be in my favor, I'm like...

I got two six in my hand here. What if three, four, five comes up on the flop? I'm going all in. You know, I recently took a test to find out if I'm a sociopath or a psychopath. And I was neither, but I was very impulsive. So it was like normal, impulsive, sociopath, psychopath was neither sociopath nor psychopath. Is this a test on the internet or administered by a medical professional? No, no, it's an internet test. It's kind of like BuzzFeed quiz. BuzzFeed comes up again. I'm sorry. You should take it.

I took that test once. It was actually administered by a medical professional, and they found out that I'm impulsive. I'm also impulsive. I'm impulsive by it. It's like Logan Paul's podcast. I was going to say, yeah, are you talking about the Pauls? Yeah. I thought it was going to be a quick one-and-done joke. CPK. I like CPK because it gives you two. I'm sorry. Cheesecake Factory. I like Cheesecake Factory because it gives you two options, brown and white. CCF. CCF.

CCF Cheesecake Factory If cheesecake was two separate words I think cheesecake should be two separate words Okay You know Whatever Strawberry cake's not one word Chocolate cake's not one word But cheesecake is one word? Cheesecake is one word Hmm Let's go get some cake And then I take you to go get cheesecake Would you be upset? Well cheesecake is a pie Shut up You're so annoying Crab cake is one word or two words? One word I suppose Crab cake is two words Crab cake is two words Crab cake is two words Hot dog is two words

Unless it's used as a verb. Like you're a hot dog. You're hot dogging. You're hot dogging. Like you're like, hey, stop hot dogging on the water skis. You're going to get hurt. Okay, I just want everyone to hear the crustiness of this bread. Does that make you feel anything? Yeah, I feel pretty good about that.

So brown bread for brown bread. Cheesecake Factory versus Outback. Those are the two brown bread hustlers, right? Right. They are the brownest of breads in the competition. These are wildly different breads here. Correct. Outback's just cake-like, not springing back, no gluten development. Mm-hmm.

Cheesecake Factory on the other hand, this is a crusty brown bread and it's got the whole oats on the outside which what an iconic look for a bread. Yes, you know what you're getting, you know? You know you're getting whole oats with this. That's pretty good. I'm eating the brown bread right now from the Cheesecake Factory. I like the brown bread. I don't like it more than that back when though. Me neither. This is crustier. It's chewier. Maybe even a little bit sweeter. Less fresh. Which I didn't think you could get. But less fresh tasting.

I was stressed that maybe, man, this Outback bread, it's like a hoagie roll. You know? You know like a hoagie roll? Like you don't want a super crusty outside on a hoagie roll because then the hoagie insides are going to spill out of the hoagie roll. You don't need to keep saying it. I heard you the first time. Saying what? Roll? Hoagie roll. Oh, hoagie? Hoagie. I think the Outback brown bread is better. It's softer, which I may have criticized before initially, but wow. Yeah.

Give me the white. The white is so good. Really? This is a crusty French bread at the Cheesecake Factory. Oh, my God. Incredible crumb on that bread. Look at that. They have like a crack of land on the outside. The white bread from Cheesecake Factory might be my favorite. That's an excellent loaf of bread. It's sourdough. Wow. Good. I was at a restaurant last night that used... There's always like a great artisanal bakery in Los Angeles that springs up bread.

overnight and then suddenly every single restaurant is using their bread. Are you talking about bub and grandma's? Bub and grandma's. How did I know? Because you live in Los Angeles and you eat at a lot of restaurants and all we do is talk to each other. You have the opportunity to be so nice to me right now and you just shot me down. You're very smart. Bang, bang. I hit the ground. Bang, bang. But there's something about just like, those breads are always very crusty. It's very crusty, it's very hard, it's very austere. There's something about just like a soft,

Yeah. Soft bread that melts in your mouth. Like, that sourdough also feels like it has, like, artificial sour tang in it. But it's... Really? You think it's artificial? I don't know. Is that just ferment? I think it's just a well-fermented piece of bread. The thing about sourdough bread is interesting because all bread, like, should be sourdough, right? It should be. In a way, like, sourdough is called, like, pain au levain, which just means, like, naturally...

Yeasted bread, like using a starter, not adding a second yeast. Not everybody does that. Not everybody does that, but I'm saying like these commercial sourdoughs or even, what's the one that started? Boudin? I think they call it Boudin, which is weird. Yeah, but it's like the San Francisco sourdough bread company. It's so good. It's so good and it's like wildly sour, but is that natural or are they adding sour in there? I'm going to assume that they use, this is an old recipe from like when they opened.

That doesn't use any souring agent. It's really good. This is a great bread. I know, but the brown bread is lacking, which normally it's not lacking, but this one is. And it's just so nostalgic for me because this was the bread that I would get and I would dip it in everything. I would dip it in ranch dressing, butter, Parmesan cheese. I'd get the freaking salad dressing, dip it in the balsamic, dip it in the, what's that one salad they had? The Santa Fe salad. This was literally the meal. The bread was the meal and I loved it.

Santa Fe had such an opportunity to capitalize on their cultural opportunity. And I feel like they didn't do it. Santa Fe salad dressing was the bomb. It was truly the taste of my childhood. Every Taco Bell had a Santa Fe chalupa. Like, Santa Fe was weirdly the culinary muse of the 90s. You know, Bobby Flay coming out of Southwest, everything. Black beans and corn. It's because of Bobby Flay.

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Excellent Spanish. That was me trying my best. But I think there's something really exciting about the idea of traveling somewhere and actually speaking the language, ordering food, chatting with locals. It's a totally different experience when you can truly connect, which is why I used Rosetta Stone before going to Mexico recently, and I was able to talk about Oaxacan food with a wonderful chef that I met. That's so awesome. Rosetta Stone has been the trusted leader in language learning for over 30 years, and their immersive approach actually helps you absorb information

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Did you know that? I was literally Googling jitomate a few days ago trying to find out what a jitomate is. And I learned that because I was in Mexico. Oh.

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Wow. What do you give the bread out of 10? Damn. I'm going to give it an 8.4. I was going to say 8.3, which is? Oh, my God. 8.35. You're so smart. Is that right? Oh, my God. Yes. Wow. Don't belittle me. Okay.

Next up. Texas Roadhouse. I've still never been and eaten a full proper meal at a Texas Roadhouse. Me either. I've tried in Bakersfield, California, and they were just booked out. Yes. Booked out. So fun fact, the closest Texas Roadhouse is 62 miles away, and I had a runner go yesterday and get it for us. So God bless you, Howard.

you kind soul. And what? Are you happy? You have to dip it in their special butter. You have to dip it in. What's like a spiced apple butter situation? I think it's a cinnamon butter. Oh, golly. What do they call? They call these yeast rolls, right? They call these yeast rolls? I don't know what they call them, but I love them. I think they call them yeast rolls. Uh-oh. This is the best bread ever. The European mind cannot comprehend Texas Roadhouse's roles

Dipped in butter. Josh. And I say that because in every other context, this would be called dessert. This is an incredibly highly sugared. This isn't sugary like normal bread. Mm-mm. This is a yeast cake. Yes, there's a lot of sugar in the Texas Roadhouse. This is like a Polish yeast cake, right? It's wildly sugary. And then you're dipping it in frosting. That's what that whipped butter is called. Oh, my God. Whipped butter and sugar is called frosting.

We've rewritten the rules, Nicole. Some rules are meant to be unwritten. Is that the Natasha Bedingfield song? Rules are meant to be unwritten. That's right. But it's so, so sugary and it's so good. But you're eating dessert first. Oh, my God. Who cares? I moved it.

I moved to disqualify Texas Roadhouse from the free bread offerings. What? Offering cake is cheating. So you mean to tell me that you have a problem with Texas Roadhouse, but you don't have a problem with Cheddar Bay Biscuits? What's wrong with you?

Yeah, that's what I think. Why don't you ruminate on that? Why don't you chew your cud and think about that? I will not chew that in front of you or God. But I do cede my point to Nicole. You are correct. If we allow Cheddar Bay Biscuits, we must allow this delightful Polish yeast cake. I'm giving this a 10. God, this is delicious. This literally tastes like something an Eastern Bloc grandmother would make. You know, I was about to not put Texas. I was about to not have Texas Roadhouse on this. What is this called? What is this called? What is it called?

What is this called? My teeth are from the sugar. What is this called? This ranking. I was about to literally not put them on this ranking board, whatever. But thank God I did because Texas Roadhouse rolls are the most incredible breads I've ever had in my life. Yeah, it's, yeah. They're heavy. They're good. It's heavy and wet with sugar. Maggie, do you want one? Yeah. Okay. Just chuck it at me.

Got him. I'm not. Get some butter. Yeah, throw the butter at her. No, no, no. Not a good idea. You can come get better if you want. Oh, my God. So good. Ten. Ten? You're giving this a ten? It is what it is. I don't know if I can do it. You don't need to follow me. You're starting a meal at Texas Roadhouse. You know, you've gotten your ten-ounce New York strip, whatever, come in with your mashed potatoes or your loaded baked potato. Like, do you want to eat a giant dense cake before that?

Josh, again, we should not be complaining because it is free. And this is the best free thing that they could have put in front of you no matter what time it is. That is a great point. Yeah. I need to reframe that in my mind. This isn't a starter. This is just a restaurant giving you a free delicious thing. They are saying, hello, thank you for entering our domicile. Here are some free things for you to munch on while you peruse our menu. And this is out of all the offerings we've had so far. The Texas Roadhouse Rolls with the Butter is excellent.

I thought it was just gonna be the butter was gonna be the thing that's ended over the edge. The rolls themselves are pretty phenomenal. Meggie really wants that butter. Give her the butter. She's literally eyeing the butter. My poor Meggie. Thank you. She hungry. It's very good. Yeah, dude, I'm sorry. I'm giving it a 10. You don't need to give it anything if you don't want to. I'm giving it a 10. You know what this has made me realize? What's up? Like a Soviet dessert.

is an American free commodity that we give to people. You know what I mean? Yeah, people would stand in line for this. 100%. In Russia. Yeah.

That's not a political sense, but I mean like this literally feels like an Eastern Europe. If you've ever had those like Eastern European like dense sort of like yeast cakes. Yes, yes. We have them in Iran too. Really? Yeah. This is that. And we're giving it away for free. That's American opulence. This is what Texas Roadhouse. This isn't America. This is Texas. Yeah, I'm giving it a 9.6. Wow. Averaging out to a 9.8. Wow. Texas Roadhouse. It looks of bread and it tastes of cake.

It's incredible. Welcome to America, honey. Wow. What did Mary Antoinette say? Let them eat cake. What did they say in Texas Roadhouse? Eat our rolls, baby. Hard pivot. I feel sick, Miss Nicole. Can I go home? Shut up. You have two more pieces of bread to eat. Shut up. This is my personal heaven right now, in case you were wondering. I need a bite of Cheddar Bay Biscuit to reset my palate. Okay. You need to huff the wood ranch roll. Just huff it. This is so hard.

So you ever work in like a big industrial commissary kitchen where you just have like the vats of like butter-scented hydrogenated oil? And you have to like empty those vats. How did you know that I've also had that experience? I just assumed. No, I've never had to empty the vats. But yes, I did walk into many industrial commissaries where there was fake butter all around me. You goat seeing the bread towards me? Yeah, a little bit.

Incredible. So the wood ranch rolls, they are so wet with grease. They are like kind of barely cooked. They have a very pale exterior to them, tainted with green. I'm a nirvana. They're so light and airy that they're like almost hollow, like a pão de queijo. I'm goating it open right now, and I want to fill it with a meatball and close it back up. So we get wood ranch catering like once every GMM shoot week, right? Mm-hmm.

I always take two of these rolls and I cut them open and I make sliders. Which is your God-given right. Thank you. This is so savory and so delicious, but I worry the saturation is a little bit off-putting. I have a question. What if the Texas Roadhouse bread just came drenched in that butter? Because there's a world in which that's the case.

In which butter? Whatever the sweet cinnamon butter they have is. I'd be a happy girl. Well, why are these two drenched? I don't know. Maybe it's because it's savory. Maybe it's because it's so savory. It's less well-seasoned than the Cheddar Bay Biscuit. But that said, I don't know if we need the level of seasoning on Cheddar Bay Biscuit. Those are wildly salty. Yeah, they're so salty. These aren't that salty. You like it that much? You can like it. I'm not trying to get in the way of your joy. Okay.

This is what I love most about this, is this like very light crumb structure. It reminds me, there's this Spanish bread, you ever have pan cristal? Mm-hmm. It reminds me of like pan cristal. These must be like a super wet, high hydration dough. You can tell by the lack of, what's it called? The lack of... I don't know. What's wrong with my brain?

The lack of continuity between the breads that it's very wet and it kind of takes its own form. Yeah. They're not perfectly shaped. They're not cooked in a mold. I really like that, but I'm going to have to give it a 7.9. Because it's too much for the saturation? It's too much saturation. All of these are like very good. I think the weakest showing is Olive Garden. Yeah. They're pretty bad.

I give these like a 7.4. They are like a bit much. Yeah, they're heavy. But like the actual structure of the roll, if you didn't drench it in this garlic butter. It would have been great. I think it's probably better. If it was served on the side, it probably would have been really good. But the fun of this bread and this free bread offering is the fact that it is drenched in this delicious butter. It is very good, to be fair. It is very good. All right, we got one more bread. Nicole, this is your fan favorite. CPK. CPK.

CBK, look at this beautiful crusty bread. Look at the webbing. Look at the beautiful gluten structure. Do they have a name for this bread? Just free bread.

And then you can either get it with butter or dipping oil, but I decided to get the dipping oil because I think it's more iconic. And the colors of the dipping oils and the floaties inside of them has changed throughout the years. What color did the dipping oil used to be? It used to have like red flakes and then green flakes and then other green flakes and then also like little like dusty particulates of garlic. But now it's all just pretty much dark green, which makes...

With a restaurant like CPK, if you get rid of the red flakes in the dipping oil, that's like a $100,000 bonus to the CEO. It's like an airline where they got rid of the olive and saved like $87,000. I put too much oil in it. I put too much oil in it. I'm going to drip it. I'm going to smang it with my other piece of bread. I smanged it. That's how I got pregnant. Nicole! You have to say that. My God, no.

This is just a good, this is a good bread. This isn't good free restaurant bread. This is great bread. I want to make a sandwich with this bread. Same. This is the bread I want to put deli meats and cheeses and arugula. And I just want to have a part, this is a good party bread. I just had Atlantico Vinaio at Coachella. The Italian music place at Coachella. Most Italian.

But they're the focaccia sandwich, and granted it was at Coachella and they weren't baking the focaccia fresh. Was it with the pistachio and the mortadella? Let me tell you, it's pretty dang good. I'm so jealous. I was watching like Jenny from Blackpink, or no, I was watching Zedd eating a mortadella sandwich, fist pumping in the air. But this bread is like, that's a good little focaccia, Chabot-style bread. I'd call that a Chabot-o. Little crusty, a lot of webbing on it. Damn, what do you rate it out of 10? Damn, I think I might give that an 8.6.

I give it a cool nine. That's like an excellent bread. Excellent bread. Gives it an 8.8, but we have a clear winner here. Nicole, you want to crown him?

Texas Roadhouse, you guys make the best free bread I've ever eaten in my life. And I've eaten a lot of free bread. But let me tell you, you knocked it out of the park. Way to go. You are worth the 62 miles. You are worth the 100. What's 62 plus 62? You are worth the 124 mile round trip drive for these rolls and for that butter. Texas Roadhouse, whatever Moldovan grandmother you stole this recipe from, it was well worth it.

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Are you still quoting 30-year-old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now. It pays to discover. Learn more at discover.com slash credit card. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report.

Josh, are you ready for this or that bread? Yeah. Okay, let's do it. Ciabatta or pumpernickel? Ciabatta. Ciabatta or rye? Ciabatta. Ciabatta or baguette? Baguette. Baguette or focaccia? Focaccia. Focaccia or sourdough? Focaccia. Focaccia or multigrain? Focaccia. Forget about it. Focaccia. Focaccia or naan? Naan. Naan is great. Naan or pita? Naan.

Nan or challah? Challah. I am a challah bat girl. Okay, challah or brioche? Challah by a hair. Challah or cornbread? Challah. Come on. Well, Josh, your favorite bread is challah. I'm a challah hyphy about that. It's like chela. All right, Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a little segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles. Opinions are like casseroles.

Let's play that first opinion. Josh and Nicole, hi there. What's up? I'm still laughing at the voicemail message greeting there. But anyway, I'm trying to solve the debate. My friend thinks I'm weird because I put peanut butter in my cereal in the morning. Oh, this is fun. And specifically, I dip the spoon in the peanut butter. Yep. And then...

Every scoop of cereal that I eat has a little bit of peanut butter on the spoon, and I like that. And I can't eat cereal normally. Like if I were to open up a box of Raisin Bran Crunch or Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I can't eat it without a little scoop of protein or peanut butter on the spoon. Am I weird for this? Thanks. Love the show.

Looking forward to listening to the next one. Thanks. I used to do this. I used to do this with Nutella. And cereal? Nutella and Special K red berries. When I started my first job ever, they didn't pay me very much money. It was a full-time job at a really nice campus. It was also in Beverly Hills, so all the lunch options around it were wildly expensive. Right, right, right. But they had free cereal and milk. How nice of them. And little breads and spreads and stuff.

So for lunch almost every day for like the six months I worked there, I would have just the biggest bowl of Special K red berries with like a quarter cup scoop of Nutella in there. And I'd be like, well, this is a thousand calories. I can just get through my work day with this and then go home and eat a dinner.

Let me tell you, I did this for a very long period of time with honey bunches of oats specifically or honey bunches of oats almonds, just any sort of honey bunches. And it is so delicious. And also like the way your tooth scrapes the little knob of peanut butter is so satisfying because also like peanut butter is so fatty and then the milk is supposed to wash away the fat, but it doesn't always work like that. So you have like remnants in your mouth. And I love...

love doing this and I haven't done it in such a long time but I'm gonna do it later this week for sure because I love cereal right now. I think Raisin Bran Crunch is a great cereal. Yeah, it is. The raisin's kind of evocative of grape jelly a little bit. It's such a fun mouth adventure. When you scrape your teeth on that peanut butter. Oh man. You got me all worked up about this. You're not weird. Well, you are weird but you're weird in the best way. You're weird in the way that we're weird so take that with a grain of, I don't know, salt?

Yeah, you know who they said was weird? A grain of rice. Take that with a grain of rice. You know who they said was weird? It was Oppenheimer. And look, you got a movie now. I was going to say Albert Einstein. They said he was weird. And that guy has like really good hair. Albert Einstein had a wife who he f***ed. Next opinion or what are we...

Hi, my name is Dahlia from Eugene, Oregon. My hot food take is that I'm kind of upset that alfalfa sprouts took over as like the fancy sprout and I kind of wish that it had been bean sprouts. Oh, interesting. Thank you so much. Have a great rest of your podcast. Ugh, I hate bean sprouts. Really? I literally... Oh, they're so fun and woody. I prefer...

Do you know where the Albert Einstein quote came from? I don't know how we're going to treat that. No, but that was the funniest thing you said. It's a line from the 40-year-old virgin. Oh, I don't... Where she's like, you haven't grown up. You don't have a driver's license. You still ride a bike. And he goes, Albert Einstein rode a bike. Then she goes, Albert Einstein had a wife who he... Oh, I never remembered the... Oh, God, great. I never remember quotes from movies like that. That's a good quote. Alfalfa sprouts. I love... Oh, my God. I love like a veggie sandwich from like...

From like a deli with... It's a schmear of bad hummus on it. Oh my god. The way I... With like raw shredded carrots on it. Oh. Oh. I crave that sandwich all the time. With like the worst cheese. Like the most random, like grossest Swiss ever. Such a good sandwich. With the delicious like padding. It's like a padding of that delicious sprouts. Bean sprouts. I read something that like really like...

put me over the edge with bean sprouts so I only get bean sprouts from places that blanch their bean sprouts because I heard that like raw bean sprouts can cause like indigestion or like listeria or something oh yeah sprouts alfalfa sprouts too though but all sprouts I think it's just they grow in such a wet environment that there's so much bacteria they harbor a lot of bacteria apparently they're like quite dangerous however I don't

That doesn't factor into any of my food decisions. I just eat with abandon. I ate a hot dog by the LA River at like 3 in the morning on Saturday. Street hot dog. Open sauces. Oh, that's fine. Like a mango sauce. I like doing that stuff too. But like for some reason, like bean sprouts in my mind have been implanted in there and I can't take it out. Hmm.

But I love sprouts and I need to eat more sprouts. Actually, I'm not supposed to eat sprouts. I shouldn't be eating sprouts. I can't eat sprouts. You should have a dark beer though.

Whenever I'm ready to start breastfeeding, I'm going to harbor so much malt beverages. Yes. I'm going to house so much malt. I'm going to smell like a beer fact. I know where you're coming from on the bean sprouts thing, but I don't think they're substitute goods. I think alfalfa sprouts, they have a different spreading.

You know, they spread across the sandwich differently. They have a different spreading. Different spreading. They spread across the sandwich differently than... It's a web. It's a web, and that's what I think you want in that sandwich. I agree. You know, but bean sprouts, absolutely time and place. I need to get better about eating more bean sprouts. Later. Hi, I'm Zanna from Alabama. Thank you so much for the podcast. It makes my Wednesday much better. Aww. I enjoy all things food.

etymology and the history of food. Oh, fun. Serious food question. When did eggs become part of a crawfish boil? I've only seen it in the past few years. Interesting. Um,

But I've been doing crawfish boils my entire life. So I wondered when eggs came into play, couldn't really find anything on the internet, and thought you might want to pipe in on that. I love the show. I love learning, and I love what happened with you guys. Thank you. Y'all continue the good work. Bye. So sweet. One, thank you. That's very sweet. I would bet money. I think it has... Can I interject? I think we got the same idea. Okay. Say it at the same time. Very...

Viet Cajun. Vietnamese people. Viet Cajun food. Yeah, I didn't know. You didn't give me a countdown. Viet. I would bet. So one of the big explosions of these like crawfish or seafood boiled chains, like boiling crab, kicking crab, whatever they're called. Boiling crab is a big one in our area at least. Love boiling crab. And a lot of places have copied their model. They are Viet Cajun. And another thing that separates them is the use of garlic butter, which is a very Vietnamese thing. A lot of

French influence, butter's really big in Vietnamese cooking. I would bet the eggs are also a Viet Cajun introduction because there's so many like braised seasoned egg, like whole boiled egg dishes in Vietnamese cuisine. Yes, a lot. There are a lot. They're going to like tit caw, stuff like that. Here's the thing though. What's up?

I would rather they be quail eggs in the Cajun boil. Oh, well, who's going to do that? Well, you go to a lot of Vietnamese restaurants, there's a lot of quail eggs, and I love quail eggs. I also love quail eggs. It's a whole little bite-sized hard-boiled egg. Canned quail eggs, though, they do have a funk, and you need to blanch the quail eggs. If you don't blanch the quail eggs once they are removed from the can, they do have a canny taste. Yeah, canning eggs is tough.

But who's going to sit there and peel a bunch of freshly hard-boiled quail eggs? We've tried it. It is annoying. It is a blunder. But yeah, that's a really funny thing that I never thought about because I always grew up with eggs just sort of being in it. Me too. But also I grew up with just wet, garlic-buttery seafood boils, which I can't imagine them without it. I mean, I can't. I've had legit southern seafood boils that are just delightful. It's just filled with the seasoning from the boiling water. But man. Vietnamese people made Cajun seafood boils better. Yeah.

Yeah. I strongly believe that. Good things happen when cultures mix. Yeah, like me and Josh. Yeah. He's so much cooler now. I really am. I used to be so lame. Such a dork. Such a dork.

Well, that was extremely sensual. Yes. Not funny. You are my hero in the kitchen, dude. I just wanted to tell you, Nicole, you're also very awesome. My hot take, I guess, is the best way to eat a bag of chips is to crunch them into little tiny bits and then flavor blast that MF right in your mouth like hardcore. All one bite, just go. Get it. Anyway, love

Love you guys. Keep on doing what you're doing. I can't believe Danny McBride has our number. I think it was Patrick Mahomes. There are very few foods that you can do one action to to drastically increase the flavor per square inch. Do you know what I'm saying? You can't take a steak in one fell swoop. Well, maybe you could blend it, but even then I don't think it would reduce. I don't think it would be pleasant. No, but chips...

If you want to dial up the flavor experience, all you got to do is crunch them into a dust and you can fit more in your mouth. Yeah, but half of the fun of eating a chip is crunching it. I would agree with that. But also, there's the little treat at the end of the bag where you pull the bag, you get the chip crumbs isolated in the corner and you go, ah, ah, ah. Sure. You shake it in your mouth like a dog. Like a hungry dog. Yeah. No, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But that said, here's my counterpoint. To me, that last little chip-shaking flavor blast...

is only as special as it is because of the scarcity. Yes, Josh. Yes. I agree with you. You know, you need to have the blender chips, which are still, again, more hyper-seasoned than any person at any point in history, including like 40 years ago, could have ever imagined a food to be. It's like a Jordan almond. You know? Do you know what I mean? You got to have the bitter with the sweet.

You got to have the blend for the flavor blast. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But when you think of that metaphor, you think of Jordan almonds as your first go-to? Jordan almonds is where the thing, you must have the bitter with the sweet comes from.

What? What? Really? Where would it be from? I don't, like anywhere in history? Jordan almonds are like a very hard candy covered almond. I'm pretty sure I'm right. There's like a slogan just for Jordan almonds? Jordan almond bitter with the sweet. Is that what you're googling? What are you googling? Jordan almonds slogan bitter sweet.

Well, now I feel stupid. Maybe. I don't know. Well, anyways. No. Help me. Somebody. Somebody help me. Jordan almonds are thought to be a fertility symbol due to their egg shape. They're also thought to represent the bittersweet nature of life. That's fun. Okay, point. Oh, do you have them at weddings? Yes. I didn't know that. What? So the almonds are the bitter. Yes. Are almonds bitter? I know they are. Anyways, the point is.

You have a good point. Yeah. But it can't be all the time. But I would not do what you do because I need that dichotomy in my chip eating. I can't. Frankly, we can't do what you do. Only you can do what you do. And only you can be you. Was that inspiring? I like the... Comment below if that was inspiring to you. Well, on that note, Nicole. What's up? Thank you so much for stopping by Hot Dog Sandwich. We got new episodes for you every Wednesday, audio. Every Sunday, the video comes out over on YouTube.

If you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles, hit us up at 833-DOG-POD1. We'd love to hear your voice and tell us how our voices are. And if you'd like more than our voices, but rather whole images, sometimes of our full bodies, you can see that on our videos of YouTube as well as where we are on YouTube. Thank you so much. We'll see you next time.