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cover of episode Break Free from Destructive Patterns, the Real Reason You Feel Stuck & How to Protect Yourself from Toxic People, with Mel Robbins!

Break Free from Destructive Patterns, the Real Reason You Feel Stuck & How to Protect Yourself from Toxic People, with Mel Robbins!

2025/1/14
logo of podcast Mayim Bialik's Breakdown

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown

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Mayim Bialik
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Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
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Mel Robbins: 我相信每个人都有能力改变自己的思维方式和行为,即使是很小的改变也能带来巨大的影响。我的“随他们去吧”理论的核心在于区分你能够控制和无法控制的事情。当你专注于无法控制的事情时,你会感到压力和焦虑;而当你专注于你能控制的事情,例如你的想法、行为和情绪处理方式时,你就能掌控自己的生活。通过这种方式,你可以建立界限,避免被他人情绪所左右,从而获得内心的平静。此外,我还强调了理解和接纳自身情绪的重要性。情绪只是你身体中短暂的化学反应,学会让情绪自然消散,而不是压抑或过度思考,这对于情绪调节至关重要。最后,我还谈到了在人际关系中,特别是与有毒的人相处时,如何运用“随他们去吧”理论。这并不意味着放任虐待行为,而是要认清对方的本质,并做出对自己有利的选择,即使这意味着要结束一段关系。 在养育孩子方面,我不主张过度干预,而是让孩子自己去面对挑战和挫折,从而培养他们的独立性和解决问题的能力。这并不意味着忽视孩子,而是要以一种支持和陪伴的方式,帮助他们成长。 Mayim Bialik: 作为一名神经科学家,我对Mel Robbins提出的观点非常感兴趣,特别是关于大脑如何影响我们的思维方式和行为。我认同Mel Robbins关于情绪调节和自我掌控的重要性,并认为这与神经科学的研究结果相符。此外,我还对Mel Robbins分享的个人经历,特别是关于灵媒的经历,以及她对精神世界和宇宙联系的看法,感到好奇和思考。这引发了我对科学与灵媒现象之间关系的思考,以及如何将科学与精神层面结合起来,以更好地理解人生的意义和目的。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did Mel Robbins move her family to Vermont?

Mel Robbins moved her family to Vermont after a psychic medium relayed a message from her deceased father-in-law expressing concern about her son and hinting at issues at his current school. This, coupled with her husband's mother's offer to sell her Vermont house, solidified the decision.

Why does Mel Robbins believe in the existence of a deeper, interconnected reality?

Mel Robbins' belief stems from personal experiences, including a profound encounter with a psychic medium and witnessing her sister heal her burn wounds. These experiences, combined with her husband's work as a death doula and her own sensitivity to the joy and suffering of others, have convinced her of a deeper connection between individuals and a reality beyond the tangible.

Why does Mel Robbins emphasize showing up for others?

Mel Robbins' emphasis on showing up for others originates from her experience as a public defender, where she witnessed the isolation and lack of support faced by many individuals in the legal system. This experience instilled in her a deep desire to be present for others and offer support in her interactions, both big and small.

Why does Mel Robbins believe death is another birth?

Mel Robbins believes death is analogous to birth, a transition to a new realm of consciousness that we currently lack awareness of. This perspective allows her to rationalize the possibility of communication with the deceased and the existence of a deeper, interconnected reality.

Why does Mel Robbins value science and research despite her spiritual beliefs?

Mel Robbins values science and research because they highlight the importance of simple practices, such as walking and adequate sleep, that are often overlooked in modern life. She believes science serves as a reminder of the effectiveness of these practices and provides evidence-based explanations for their impact on well-being.

Why does Mel Robbins advocate for embracing mystical experiences?

Mel Robbins advocates for embracing mystical experiences because they can expand our understanding of reality and increase synchronicity in our lives. She believes that by opening our minds to possibilities beyond the scientifically provable and looking for signs, we can reprogram our brains to perceive the world differently and invite more meaningful experiences.

Why does Mel Robbins consider herself a "walking red flag" for much of her life?

Mel Robbins describes herself as a "walking red flag" due to her toxic behavior, which she attributes to undiagnosed ADHD, dyslexia, and unresolved childhood trauma. These factors contributed to her struggles with addiction, impulsive behavior, and difficulty in relationships.

Why does Mel Robbins believe that people who feel stuck are actually in conflict with themselves?

Mel Robbins believes that people who feel stuck are not complacent, but rather engaged in an internal struggle. They are aware of their unhappiness and desire change but are trapped in patterns of behavior and narratives that prevent them from moving forward.

Why is the "Let Them" theory effective for navigating challenging relationships?

The "Let Them" theory is effective because it helps individuals recognize and accept the limitations of their control over others. By detaching from the expectation of changing others' behavior, individuals can regain a sense of power and choose how to respond to challenging situations.

Why does Mel Robbins caution against cutting people off without explanation?

Mel Robbins cautions against cutting people off without explanation because it's a form of emotional abuse, akin to giving the silent treatment. She emphasizes the importance of mature communication and providing reasons for ending a relationship, even if it involves challenging individuals.

Why is it difficult for parents to allow their children to experience hardship?

It's difficult for parents to allow their children to experience hardship because of their innate desire to protect and control their children's environment. This instinct often leads parents to step in and solve their children's problems, preventing them from learning valuable lessons and developing resilience.

Why does Mel Robbins advocate for allowing children to face consequences?

Mel Robbins advocates for allowing children to face consequences because hardship and pain are essential catalysts for intrinsic motivation and personal growth. By experiencing the full weight of their decisions, children learn valuable lessons and develop the ability to overcome challenges.

Why does Mel Robbins emphasize the importance of regulating emotions?

Mel Robbins emphasizes the importance of regulating emotions because it allows individuals to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. By understanding that emotions are temporary chemical explosions, individuals can avoid being controlled by them and make conscious choices about their actions.

Why is the "Let Them" theory particularly helpful for people with ADHD or dyslexia?

The "Let Them" theory is helpful for people with ADHD or dyslexia because it provides a simple, actionable tool to manage emotional reactivity and impulsivity. By pausing and recognizing what is outside their control, individuals can avoid negative thought spirals and make more conscious choices.

Why does Mel Robbins believe that acting out of guilt is detrimental?

Acting out of guilt turns others into villains, fosters resentment, and diminishes personal responsibility. It's better to act from a place of genuine care or self-regard, which empowers the individual.

Chapters
Mel Robbins introduces the "Let Them" theory, emphasizing that feeling stuck often stems from doing things out of guilt. Taking control of your power changes everything. The key is detaching from others' actions.
  • Feeling stuck is often due to guilt-driven actions.
  • Taking control of your power is crucial.
  • Detaching from others' actions brings peace and sets boundaries.

Shownotes Transcript

Mel Robbins' Mind-Blowing Secrets on Mindset to Feel Better Emotionally & Spiritually! 

 

Learn How to Regulate Your Emotions in a Foolproof Way

&

Stop Letting Toxic People Control You: Is It Time to CUT THEM OFF?

 

Mel Robbins, the mindset, motivation, & behavior change expert, reveals life-altering insights on how to Take Control of Your Emotions, Reprogram Your Brain, & Step into a Life of Power and & Opportunity! 

 

Mel's Life-Changing "Let Them" Theory – The Key to Boundaries & Peace! Struggling with difficult people? Learn to identify what’s truly in your control and what isn’t in a nanosecond, empowering you to let go of unnecessary stress and set healthier boundaries—especially with narcissists. STOP the internal struggle of feeling "stuck" & uncover the false narratives that keep you trapped in emotional turmoil.

 

Mel also shares tips to Unlock the POWER of Your Brain to Attract Success & Mystical Experiences! Her unique perspective on science & spirituality will help you make sense of this cruel world while leading a simpler, more fulfilled life.

 

The Secret to Controlling Your Emotions: Ride the Wave! Want more power in your life? Mel explains how to take control of your emotions & influence others—This simple technique will make you more powerful than even the most challenging person!

 

Mel Robbins also breaks down"

  • Why People Get STUCK in Cycles of Abuse & How to Break Free

  • Why pressuring others to change NEVER works

  • Why Pain & Hardship Are ESSENTIAL for Your Kids' Growth

  • Why "Death is Another Birth": Her Unbelievable Experience with a Psychic Medium

  • Faking her way through law school as she struggled with ADHD & dyslexia

  • How she copes with her busy brain

  • Why she’s driven to show up for others thanks to her experience as a public defender

 

This is an episode you don’t want to miss—prepare to unlock the secrets to your best life! 

 

Mel Robbins' latest book, THE LET THEM THEORY: https://www.melrobbins.com/letthemtheory)