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cover of episode 739. The Hard Dating + Relationship Truths Everyone Needs to Hear with Jillian Turecki

739. The Hard Dating + Relationship Truths Everyone Needs to Hear with Jillian Turecki

2025/1/16
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Almost 30
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J
Jillian
K
Krista
L
Lindsay
创立并主持《All Ears English》播客,帮助全球英语学习者通过自然和实用的方式提高英语水平。
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Lindsay: 我认为持续关注手机而忽略他人是一种拒绝行为。此外，一段关系中的‘暂停’通常意味着关系的结束，与其逃避问题，不如直面挑战并进行沟通。在亲密关系中，坦诚沟通至关重要，但害怕失去爱会阻碍我们说出真相。在亲密关系中，无法表达自身感受是共生依赖的标志，共生依赖会妨碍我们认识到自身的真实感受，共生依赖的人往往不清楚自己的真实感受。在亲密关系中，即使真相令人痛苦，也应该坦诚相待。迷恋与爱情并非一回事，我曾误以为爱情就是共生依赖，迷恋是一种自然的情感，关键在于如何处理。 Krista: 我认为与其逃避问题，不如直面挑战并进行沟通。在亲密关系中，无法表达自身感受是共生依赖的标志。共生依赖会妨碍我们认识到自身的真实感受。共生依赖的人往往不清楚自己的真实感受。在亲密关系中，即使真相令人痛苦，也应该坦诚相待。我曾误以为爱情就是共生依赖，迷恋是一种自然的情感，关键在于如何处理。 Jillian Turecki: 一段关系中，我们自身往往是问题的关键，成为关系中问题的共同点并不意味着我们完全是错的，而是要意识到我们有能力改变现状。我们对自身的选择和生活拥有比想象中更多的掌控力。若想改变现状，首先要从自身出发。选择伴侣不能只依赖化学反应，还需要考虑长久关系所需因素。化学反应并非一成不变，了解其变化过程至关重要。化学反应包含多种层面，例如身体吸引、精神契合、情感共鸣等。化学反应非常重要，但不能成为选择伴侣的唯一标准。如果对某人一见倾心，则需要谨慎对待。为了获得爱，我们会牺牲自我，为了维护一段关系而牺牲自我是不值得的。我们都害怕不被爱，这会驱使我们做出妥协。永远不要为了维系一段关系而牺牲自我。在约会中，要明确自身需求，并区分可容忍和不可容忍之处。在约会中，不要将就，要坚守自身原则。在一段关系中，要保持自我，敢于表达。在亲密关系中，表达愤怒是正常的，但要控制表达方式。在进行重要谈话前，要先调整自身情绪。肢体接触有助于缓解紧张情绪。注意身体感受，判断伴侣是否让你感到安全。选择让你感到放松的伴侣，有助于建立新的安全感。在长期关系中，友谊是维系关系的关键。信任和安全感是建立良好关系的基础。没有人能拯救你，你的幸福需要自己负责。我们自身的满足感需要自己负责，而不是依赖他人。一段健康的亲密关系应该让你感到更快乐。共生依赖并非一无是处，关键在于是否依赖伴侣来满足自身需求。在一段关系中，表达爱意应出于真心，而非寻求回应。表达爱意展现的是自信和脆弱。与父母和解对亲密关系至关重要。与父母和解并非要爱他们，而是要摆脱他们对你的控制。任何时候都不晚，都可以开始治愈自己。

Deep Dive

Shownotes Transcript

Join Lindsey as she sits down with Jillian Turecki, Certified Relationship Coach, Teacher, Author, and Host of the Podcast, Jillian On Love. Be the first to hear insights from Jillian’s brand new book, "It Begins With You: The Nine Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life." 

Ahead, Jillian explains how understanding our childhood influences can heal current relationship patterns—and what “taking a break” really means. Plus, unravel the balance between chemistry and safety in dating so you can feel confident and in control as you sift through suitors. 

With juicy advice for anyone dating, in a relationship, or in a single season, Jillian breaks down how to prioritize self-worth and protect your authenticity. She also covers essential tips for navigating tough conversations, overcoming codependency, and managing stress. 

We also talk about:

  • The importance of self-regulation + co-regulation techniques

  • How physical touch can strengthen emotional bonds 

  • The differences between chemistry, lust, + true love

  • How to clearly communicate sexual boundaries

  • Personal stories about breaking free from codependency

  • The profound impact of resolving parent-child issues

  • Identifying + managing relationship "red flags"

  • Embracing independence while fostering interdependence

  • Tips for maintaining friendship within a romantic relationship

Resources

 

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