772. How We Manifested Our Dream Lives (and What We Had to Let Go of)
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You guys, it is here, almost 30. The book is now available for purchase. It is a definitive guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond. We wrote this because our late 20s wrecked us. And if we would have known that this was a period of possibility, we would have been so much better off. We were both feeling super lost, honestly, like questioning everything from our careers to relationships to

And we realized that no one really talks about how intense this time can be. And we wanted to create the book we wish we had back then, something that really moves people to their most aligned life possible without all the chaos. So anyone who wants to use these times of change and transformation as a portal to your highest potential needs to get this book. This is a guide to leveraging the messy times in your life.

and turning them into magic. The book is available anywhere you purchase books in person or online, like Amazon and Target, Barnes & Noble, and more. And we also have an incredible audiobook available on Audible. Thank you so much for getting the Almost 30 book, for supporting us, and supporting yourself in living a life that you love. We hope you enjoy.

Hello, guys. Welcome to Almost 30 Podcast. Welcome to the show. It's a very special week. It is a special episode, special week. Kristen and I have our book out in the world. The book is out in the world and...

I knew this day would come, but I didn't know how or when or... Yeah, and it just... I think surreal is the... You know, people say it feels surreal, but it's true. I know. Because you're kind of like, what's happening? And it's funny. I've been like...

observing us and like we've been so good about having moments of celebration and then in moments where I feel like it's me not knowing how to like receive it and just like be in it I'm like how do I get in the weeds of something right now oh yeah do you know what I mean yes or you're like how do I do what I've I'm used to doing yeah because it's like when you're so in process with a book

It's for a long period of time. This has been two years. And so you don't slip into the celebration of it and of it actually happening until the very, very end. And so you almost don't have practice in how to do that part of it. I don't think people know how to celebrate stuff in general and don't know how to...

celebrate themselves, celebrate other people. I think we're all scared to do it because then it's like go away. Maybe it feels embarrassing. Or there's a lot of pressure. Yeah. Maybe it feels egotistical. I remember back in the day when athletes would mess up and they'd be like, ah! And it was like cool that they would have like a fit about it because then it seemed like they cared and they wanted to do better. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah. And nowadays it's like embarrassing to be that. Oh, to like have a fit. Yes. Yeah, yeah, totally. And so now it's like –

Being emotionally regulated is cool, but I also think celebrating yourself is cool. Oh, definitely. And celebrating. I just feel like I went through my own dark night of the soul with the process of it, of fear of failure and, you know, fear of, yeah, fear of failure. Pretty much, yeah. Not being successful. Pretty much wraps it up. Just my fear of failure and not being successful. Yeah.

Yeah, totally. Which is my cross. People say it, but now we understand it. It's a very vulnerable thing to write a book. It's not just the vulnerable stories. It's just that you are putting yourself out there to create something that has your name on it. Yeah, true. You know what I mean? That's actually weird. I've never thought about that. Yeah, it has our name on it. Yeah, I've never thought about that, having our name on it. Yeah.

And so in this episode, Lindsay and I are going to be interviewing each other. We're going to be asking us questions. They're going to be questions that the information is in the book, but we wanted it to be just juicy because we've had some really powerful interviews that we've done with other people where I was like, because I was in the flow at some point when you've done 12 interviews in a row in a day or like five in a day, at some point you get in your flow. And so I was like, dude, I'm channeling some genius right now. It's crazy. But also I think the questions from so many people have been very... Oh, stunning. It's...

You know, there's some things I repeat just because of the nature of things. But like there have been very unique questions where I find myself just speaking about things differently with each interviewer, which is kind of nice. Yeah. So I've kind of like... We definitely match the energy of our interviewers. It's like whatever the vibe of the interviewer is, we're like at that vibe. Yeah. Like we had one today where I was like, oh, we're at the vibe of the interviewer. Yeah.

And I wanted to be at a different vibe. I wanted to be popping off. Totally. I know, but it's hard when if the interviewer isn't popping off, then there's like no feedback and we just look crazy. Of course, you look psychotic. I wanted that. Our girls at Girls Gotta Eat, we had like a fun popping off. Yeah.

Yeah. I think my craziest was I did a while ago Good Mom's Bad Choices. Oh, yeah. God, that one was – I was –

On a tip. Just telling the craziest stories because they just like bring it out of you. So the book is out now. So Almost 30, the book is out now. A definitive guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond. And this book truly is just a labor of love. Almost 30, it's really a mix of real talk from Lindsay and I, stories that we've shared, and really actionable insights that cover everything from career meltdowns to friendship shifts,

You're sad in return and learning to love and honor yourself through intense periods of change. Almost everyone in my audience, my community, the women that I serve and support are going through such change and transformation. And so this book really is everything that we've learned in our process of building lives that we love and becoming the people we are today. Yeah. We wanted to make this book like an experience. You know, I don't, I don't expect anyone to read this overnight. You know, it's a, you know, I want people to take their time

Because I think like us in our process, like we would kind of uncover information or just uncover something about ourselves and just kind of need to be with it. And so, you know, I hope this book is one that one you're in process with, but also that you revisit. You know, we were reading the audio book the other month and

we had moments of like, I'm working on this yet again, but at this stage or level in my life. And so it's not like a one and done in a good way. This book isn't about figuring it all out. It's about learning to trust yourself, embrace change, and become more you than ever. Yes, 100%. And I think

I think that's the feeling that most people are desiring. You know, I think people think about the life of the, you know, their future life and they think, well, I want the partner and the house and the great job and the whatever. And I think what people, the unsaid thing that most people desire is to feel more like themselves in it all. Yeah. Because if you don't feel like yourself in this life that you're kind of designing, then what's the point?

So it's really this walk back to yourself because when we're young, especially in our teens, early adult years, like we're so influenced and we're pulled in so many different directions away from ourselves. And so this late 20s period is such a deep remembering, like a walk back to yourself so that, you know, moving forward, you're not going to self-abandon. You're not going to look outside of yourself or at least as much as you used to. Let's get into it.

So I'm going to be asking Lindsay questions from her chapter. Okay. Chapters. Okay. Chapters from chapter two, question, chapter two, question everything. Should is such a big theme in this chapter, following societal expectations versus personal truth. What's the most damaging should you had to unlearn?

This one was interesting to uncover because it's not like someone told me like you should be liked by everyone. But I definitely had an upbringing where I was taught to be very polite. I was taught to not really rock the boat, whether it was in social situations, within like relational dynamics. And I saw that in, you know, early childhood or just like my early life in relationships I would observe. And so...

I thought I should be liked, you know, and every relationship that I formed in my kind of early adulthood, especially with dating, I was just pretzeling myself. I was like trying to be what the other person wanted or what made the other person comfortable. And in doing so, I would completely self-abandon and I would not be comfortable

saying how I felt and I would not be asking for what I wanted. And it just became this like charade that the other person was in relationship with. And it really wasn't there. You know, obviously it's not their fault, but I had to really get honest with myself about how I wasn't showing up as me. And that actually ended some relationships that forced me to look at

the early modeling that I saw, like mainly in my family and just kind of reconcile that and like what that means for me now and how I can be in relationship with them now. So this is, I think this piece will definitely speak to like all the good girls out there who felt like they had to be a certain way or, or live their life in a certain way to be accepted and to be loved and

That was a big, a big one I had to unlearn. And I still, I still like work with it now. You know, I think now being married and having a child, there's kind of like a new layer to it where there's definitely a part of me that like doesn't give a fuck. But then there's also that part of me that's now a parent. So it's like I'm observing kind of the those old parts of me change.

projecting onto my child. So for example, like we were at breakfast the other day with my parents actually and Mav. Mav's a loud child and it's amazing. He talks so much and he just has a high volume. And I noticed my parents kind of like having that little like jerk of like, you know, this is how you should act when we're in a public place. They didn't say anything. Yeah, right. I know them so well. And

I had to turn to them because I felt myself kind of feel their jerk and me jerk a little bit. And I had to turn to them and just say like,

Mav has a big voice and he's one and a half. And there are going to be moments where we learn how to use certain volumes. But right now he's going to be a loud child no matter where we are. I love that he just got the script. But yeah. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, like that's basically what I said. And, you know, they were just like, oh, yeah, that's fine. But it's just these like little moments that are so big in the grand scheme of things that really kind of fortify like the change that

For sure. That I made, you know, the decision to like, just kind of put that one down. Yeah. You know, I don't need to be what everyone wants me to be in order to be liked. Crystal wrote a beautiful chapter called You Are a Soul. This is a big one, but I think, you know, this really will get people thinking. A lot of people hear this.

Connect with your soul and live in alignment with your soul. You know, like this is the goal. But I guess what does that actually mean? Like what does that actually look like in like your day to day?

I've been unpacking this a bit because I'm really trying to be better about explaining the experience that I'm having internally because the experience that I have of being connected to my soul is a constant conversation with something else. So it's me walking in the street like, oh man, I'm so thankful it's beautiful today. Me like walking in like to my hotel room, like what a beautiful hotel room. Like I'm so grateful to be here, like checking in on how I feel. So I think when we live in alignment with our soul, first the soul is that like,

It's that undeniable aspect of us. It's the aspect of us that's so much bigger than us and greater than us that's guiding us in this life, that's guiding us to where we need to go, that sometimes we get disconnected from through programming, through media, through other people's opinions and perspectives. And really, our journey in life is always coming back to it. It's coming back to this benevolent, loving relationship.

you know, ethereal being that just is so there for us and is working through us. So I never feel like we're totally disconnected from our soul. I don't feel like our soul leaves us, but I feel like we have just a better, more direct connection at certain periods in our lives. And being connected to your soul is when you're most happy and alive and vibrant.

not only because there's more light available, but because it's that thing that is just the most you, you. All the rest is conditioning. All the rest is things that we usually take on in life out of fear. So I think living in the most alignment with our soul is when we're living the most free, living the most truthful, living the most...

clear, living the most boundaried, living the most uniquely. I think when we're, the soul is the most unique aspect of us. So if we're doing what everyone else is doing, eating what everyone else is eating, watching what everyone else is watching, just living a life that everyone else is, that's not in alignment with our soul. Our soul is usually a very unique

expression of who we are and allows us to live a really unique life. I couldn't agree more. You share that you weren't always spiritual. What was the moment that cracked you open to this path? This is from chapter four. Are you there, God? It's me. I always had like a spiritual curiosity, but it was never something that I actually like acted on. If I look back at my childhood, I write about in the book, you know, my

We would church hop, you know, with my mom. And I kind of got these like tastes of God and kind of tastes of what a spiritual life could look like, but more in a traditional like religious sense. And then I went to Catholic school and I was just like, this ain't for me. Because it just felt like it was like very just riddled with rules and just felt like it didn't have life in it. You know, it didn't feel like I could –

I was worthy of connecting with God because I didn't learn the prayers and I didn't know the rules and I, you know, didn't do it the way that my teachers and the nuns and the priests were telling me to. So I just kind of distanced myself. But, you know, I would say that I think what really cracked me open, actually, Ayahuasca. Not Ayahuasca. It was a beautiful experience. You know,

I started to have spiritual experiences where I felt deeply connected to something much greater than me when I started to trust in myself. And so it's that part of me that always knows, that part of me that is like connected to God, that part of me that's like divine, the soul. And so when I started to connect with my soul more, I just...

Like the everyday became more spiritual. So the moment that I think of a lot is the moment I said yes to moving to LA actually and kind of what followed in that short period of time.

I was living in New York at the time. I was, you know, teaching SoulCycle. I was in debt. I was just trying to figure things out. And they called me one night and asked me if I would move across the country to open a studio in Newport Beach. And I did not hesitate. And a yes came out of my mouth before, like, my mind could even figure out why I shouldn't. And from there, I moved about a month later and moved.

I think that risk, that quote risk that I took, that trust that I had in myself to do that really just like elevated me out of depending on everyone else to tell me what to do or that I should do that or that I can now do that, giving me the green light for my life. Like I actually took action. I actually trusted myself and I actually said yes. And from there it was like,

this beautiful orchestration with God, with my soul, where we're like, okay, like you don't have to, first of all, you don't have to shoulder everything. And we're also working together to create like just such a beautiful, fun adventure for you. And because you said yes, without knowing what it looked like 10 steps in front of you, like that is amazing.

that's powerful enough to kind of create this really profound experience. So I've just looked back to that many times over as like a, just proof that I can trust myself and what follows is actually kind of my own spiritual experience here on earth where I can like literally see what falls into place or what is taken from my path in perfect timing and in a perfect way.

Um, so I didn't have like this come to Jesus spiritual awakening moment, but it was a lot of these moments of like trusting myself, like getting to know God in my own way of connecting with my soul in my own way that just created this more spiritual understanding of my life. So interesting. Cause I feel like I was thinking about that too. Like what are the most spiritual experiences in my life? And there's such a texture to them. That's so non-spiritual.

like, storytelling ego. And it's almost like, like I've had in the past week two crazy spiritual experiences that I haven't told anybody because it's almost like

It feels – it's weird. It doesn't feel like entertainment. It doesn't feel like a story. You know, when you do ayahuasca, you're like, and then. Yes. You know, and then the bugs came down and the bugs started working on me. You know, it's like that just becomes like that entertainment. Yes. But the soulful experiences are oftentimes the ones that are just so –

like, mundane almost, but yet feel so nice. And to you. Yeah. You know what I mean? So like, I could, you know, I'm telling this story now and I have like a voice in my head that says this is not interesting, but like it's, this is my spiritual experience and it is special. Do you know what I'm saying? So I think I read about this in the book too, where like,

Yeah.

It happens slowly sometimes. Yes. And I just don't want us to get so obsessed with like, where is it? Like, when is it going to hit me over the head? You know, like you being in your life in this present moment is actually a spiritual experience as well. Yeah. So true. I think in the book, we actually talk about that just kind of

removing the spiritual hierarchy that there exists. Because I think I even have it with my clients all the time. They have the perception that I'm more spiritual than them because I'm their teacher. And that's absolutely not true. And I think that can kind of get people out of spirituality. And I remember going to spiritual things, conferences, events, whatever, and being like, oh, I'm not spiritual enough because I didn't tap into my Akashic

on the way here. And it's like, no, like, exactly. It's not even about that. It's about your unique connection and what is meant for you. Exactly. Okay. Let's talk about the wellness brand that really gets it, like really gets it. Symbiotica. You've heard us talk about their brand so much because we believe in it. We have experienced the effects of it.

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It's actually using it. This is so key, everybody. Right now, I am so obsessed with a few of their products like I am using on rotation. So I wanted to share. So their liposomal vitamin C is one that I am using regularly.

Thank you so much for joining us.

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We got to talk about sleep or lack thereof it or the elusive, delicious idea of it. I know I see you out there, moms or any new parents, because if you're anything like me winding down at night, especially after just being in mom mode and work mode and life mode all day, it's not easy. And that's why I've become fully devoted to my nighttime ritual with Beams Dream Powder. It is unbelievable. I have recommended it to all my mom friends.

It's a warm, cozy latte of sorts, and I look forward to it all day. It is just a hug in a mug, truly. I am partial to the cinnamon cocoa. It's loaded with ingredients that support restful night's sleep like magnesium, reishi, L-theanine, and nano-CBD, all without that next day grogginess. I know you know what I'm talking about. You won't have weird dreams, no heavy melatonin hangover, just actual rest. It's unbelievable.

And the ritual of sipping it, it's just, it's my thing. I love doing it at night. Just signals to my body, hey, we're done for the day. What I love most about Beam is they keep things clean. No added sugar, no artificial anything. Just really thoughtful ingredients that work with your body, not against it. So if sleep has been playing hard to get lately for you, or you just want to support your body in getting deeper, more restorative rest, like the type of rest where you can relax

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Go to shopbeam.com slash almost 30 and use code almost 30 at checkout. That's shopbeam.com slash almost 30 and use code almost 30 for up to 40% off. Grab the deal and give your sleep the same attention you give the rest of your health today. This is a conversation that our community is so interested in.

It's around the body. And Krista wrote an incredible chapter called Befriend Your Body. It's chapter five. In the book, you say your body is your home. How can someone actually start believing that? Well, first of all, it's true. So your body is the home of your soul. The body is where you live. The body is if we're not going soul, the body is where your mind lives. The body is where your entire life experience is.

So you're always in relationship and experiencing life through the body. And for me, I was someone that really struggled to accept my body, really struggled to accept how I looked, my weight. And I think that became the defining narrative of most of my life up until, you know, the point that I was able to heal it. And it was an experience of always feeling like there was something wrong with me and always feeling like there was more to be done.

And really just using all of my extra brain space and energetic capacity to figure out how I could lose weight or how I could work out more or how I could figure out the calories and the macros and what diet I should be on. And just like this absolute prison that so many people are in related to their body and

It was something that I never thought I would get over and get through. So to now have this experience where I feel at home and at peace in my body is just such a joy and a pleasure. And noting that, knowing that if I would have heard that when I was in my process, I wouldn't have believed it. Like when people said, oh, food freedom, I eat intuitively. I was like, you're not real, not real. I was like, that is not true. So if this doesn't feel possible or true for you, I totally get it. Um,

Um, the way that you can get your body to first feel like your home, I think for me was focusing more on my spirituality, my connection to God. And I know that's like, you guys are gonna be like, oh, that's the answer. Dada, dada. I'll say other things. But truly when you can see yourself outside of a body, I have a brain, I have a purpose. I have, you know, so much more to offer than just my physical body that I'm going to focus on actually having almost 30 helped.

not only because we had so much access to other people, but finding my purpose where I was like, oh, actually, it's not even just about how I look now at this point, because I have so much that I want to create in the world. I have so much that I want to say. I have so much that I want to experience. And that doesn't have to be like I'm stopping myself from that because of my body, whatever I perceived.

So focusing on your spiritual practice is huge. I think secondly, doing internal family systems parts work. So internal family systems is what I practice and teach with my clients. And that was the most helpful thing because it was actually started by Dick Schwartz who started it because he worked with eating disorder patients. So Dick Schwartz, who founded IFS, worked with eating disorder patients. And what he realized was that oftentimes women were having this dual experience of

And for anyone that struggled with your body, you know what I'm talking about, where you have one part of you that desperately wants to lose weight and will do anything to lose weight.

And then the other part of you is going to binge or overeat or, you know, kind of prevent you from being in that weight. And this can happen, especially with bingers. If you're someone that has like anorexia or orthorexia, it's a part of you that like always wants more. It's like, we should have celery juice. We should do matcha. We should do this. It's just always online. And when we can pull those voices outside of us and really work with those voices, because those are not the self, those are not the soul. Those are just aspects of you that are acting from a dysfunctional perspective that

Because they think that being thin is going to get you love or keep you safe. And when we can let those little parts know that they're loved and safe outside of being thin, outside of being in a certain body, then we can heal. So we have to really work with those parts. So internal family system and parts work is good. And then I think as a third thing, it's just stop having conversations about it all the time. Like stop looking at stuff on the internet. Like I don't talk about my body with –

I don't talk about my body with anybody. I don't talk about what I eat with anybody. I don't talk about workouts with anybody really. Like I will if it's engaged in conversation, but I don't make my main frame of connection with people, dieting, food, nutrition, beauty, whatever. Like I connect with people on so many different other levels that are so much more interesting. And when you can kind of get that out of your frame of like, this is everything I think and talk about with my friends too, it can be so liberating. Oh yeah. The mind is like so,

wild like that. Well, women connect on that where they're like, I'm fat. I need to work out. I got to do this. Totally. It's like it's so – like become conscious of the way that you speak to yourself first and become conscious of the way you speak to others about that because it's just – no.

Yeah, the way you speak to others about yourself. Like it's kind of like alarming when you kind of catch it. No, it's crazy. When people will say stuff to me, I'm like, it actually freaks me out because I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. Like the way that people will perceive themselves in their mind, that is not true. I mean, I know some of the most beautiful women in the world who struggle so much with their body and just talk in ways about their body that is like crazy and terrifying. But that's a part of them.

that's desperate to be loved, that's holding on to this belief and idea that they need to be thin to be loved. So the last thing I'll say is that when you can find and realize that you're so much more than just your body, that you are a soul and that your body is your home for your soul and it's a vessel for divinity, your life incredibly changes. And for me, that meant I finally accepted, loved, and honored my body. And then it became a body that I'm like so proud to be in. And just as like a part B, like the...

And you talk about this. It's not about like loving your body every single day, every single minute of the day. But can you just speak briefly to the body acceptance? One of my third, so Pixar movie voiceover and another one of my dreams is to make a YouTube channel and like break down cultural things that happened that were like

defining a kind of BS. And it's so interesting you'll see with the body positivity movement because most of those people have now gotten on Ozempic and are now no longer body positive activists. This has happened so much where people actually didn't love the body that they were in. Anyways,

When we're going from the scale of like absolutely hating our bodies and having disdain for our bodies to think that we could then the next day say we love our bodies is insane. So when any work that I do, it's always slow and gradual and it's always just moving closer to neutrality than to love. So we can go from hate to neutrality to like and to love.

And in that process, it's really just the slow burn of like making this a relationship that you're developing with this entity of your body. And I think for me and my journey, it was just first becoming neutral. First, just not thinking about my body all the time, thinking about work, thinking about spirituality, thinking about relationships, just kind of removing the focus and then going to like and then going to love. And again, it doesn't mean every second of the day. I'm like,

I'm every woman. It's like, I just feel like I oscillate and I accept and I move on and can catch myself when I'm in a process of having that thought. Yeah. It's the moving on quicker is actually really powerful. Bounce back rate is everything. Having a short bounce back rate is the biggest thing when you have problems. So before with my body, like I was in Miami two weeks ago,

I came home and I was doing my thing with eating and drinking. I was doing my thing. I came home and I heard the voice say, you should fast. You should fast for 24 hours. That'd be a good idea. And I'm like, okay, interesting idea. And it's having that moment of thinking I should fast for a few minutes and then being like, oh, wait, that's the old pattern. I see the old pattern. I move on. We're not fasting right now. Not that there's anything wrong with fasting, but it wasn't. I knew where the energy was coming from. Yes, it's different. Yes. Totally different.

Okay. The power of nourishment. So in the book, we actually have stuff on the body and then we talk about the power of nourishment. And we wanted to talk about this and food shifts because we've had so many beautiful conversations about nutrition on the show with amazing experts. So we wanted to include this because it's so important for you to be nourishing yourself in a way that's sustainable for your life and a way that's going to give you energy and help you be the person that you came here to be. So how did healing your relationship with food change other areas of your life?

I mean, in so many ways. So just to give context back in the day, especially in my like early to mid 20s, I would definitely use food as like a reward. Yeah. You know, so like.

at the end of like a long bartending shift, I would order like all the food, house it, and then go to bed. This was at like, you know, very late in the night, early in the morning. Um, I would think about what I was going to drunk eat as I was at the bar, you know, just kind of this reward system of like, okay, I'm going out when I get home, I'm going to reward myself, whatever. Um, and

And the next day I would usually have the guilt. I would usually have the thought of like, okay, we're not going to eat until this certain time. So there was this aspect of kind of like the reward was kind of like a numbing to what I really needed. And then there was the restriction after I rewarded myself and that was kind of like trying to control myself.

And so I think for me, you know, really looking at that and understanding that that was coming from a place of like being underexpressed, not being who I really was in places, um, and spaces and in relationships. Um, and then also, um, having those tendencies to want to control, you know, in order to feel just more secure, more safe, what have you. Um,

So for me, I think the root of when it started to heal was in therapy. You know, when I started to work on, yeah, I mean, I did EMDR in therapy. I did a few different modalities. I think EMDR was probably the most powerful at the time. And I just got to know that like little girl in me who was just like,

Yeah. So, so desperately wanting to be seen by certain people, especially when I was younger and that just manifested as an adult in different ways. And, you know, I can't, I can't make the connection where I'm like, okay, so I healed this part and then I didn't want to binge at the end of the night. It's like just healing that part made me less

made me less inclined to kind of numb out through food because I was actually kind of listening to her. I also think too, I'm curious if this feels true, I feel like your relationship with food also started to heal when you stopped working out so much so you could actually listen to your body. And you were also like not, your workouts changed so you're more in tune and you're more able to balance like

Yeah. And I think it's like the workouts. But I mean, even when I was working at the bars, like, you know, I wasn't working out that much during that time. I would work out when I could. But like, it was kind of this like go, go, go. So I think that applies to the workout. Yeah. And it applies to just like kind of trying to survive and make enough money to pay rent like that. Go, go, go. Kind of survival mode. Yeah.

So you just get anything you can eat. Like you'll just like try and stuff your face because you're like so anxious. Yes. And just wanting to be rewarded. Yeah, totally. You know what I mean? Wanting a break. Because oftentimes people want to break. Wanting a break, wanting to be rewarded because I felt like I was just pushing so hard and not getting what I wanted. Yeah. And then the food was like –

That's what I want.

When I was almost 30, that was a lot of my process was like food to soothe for sure. And a lot of people do it with whether it's food or drinking. Like if people go out after work and they do the happy hour drinks, there is that aspect to like the soothing of like a drink at the end of the day. Oh, yeah. Glass of wine, baby. Glass of wine and The Bachelor or something like that people were always doing. But yeah, the food is huge for that. And I think in the nourishment chapter,

It's such an important foundation that we didn't understand how to nourish ourselves. Yeah. And we're kind of missing like the nuance of what – I'm not just saying like eat healthy food. Yeah. Eat whole foods. Yeah. It's like understanding on an energetic level how certain things feel in your body. So we can see diets. We can see trends and try to follow them.

but them not really work because we're not tuning into how certain things feel in our body. So in this chapter, we're looking at caffeine, how it's reacting to your body, alcohol, birth control, and various foods. And it's definitely not a prescription, but just looking at like

So are we eating a lot of processed food? So a food that's been touched many times, processed many times, has a lot of like energetic imprint on it. How's that feeling in your body? You know, and can we bring in more of an experience around food that kind of connects you to the food itself in a really beautiful way, like going to the farmer's market? And I know not everyone has access to that where they are, but

you know, there are ways that you can connect with your food that can just bring you into like a better energetic relationship with it even before you put it in your body. And I just think we've lost touch with that. Like we're, we're a very fast paced society. We want things fast. We want Uber eats at our door in two seconds. We're not really thinking about how we can mindfully connect with our food. So, you know, while I'm not

expecting everyone to do a whole overhaul, I do think we can just bring a little bit more mindfulness to the way that we nourish ourselves. That could make a huge, huge difference, like very small changes. And in that chapter two, you talk about media consumption and consumption not just being

Yeah. So it's, there's, we're consuming all day, whether it's social media, media, books, podcasts, YouTube, other people, our bosses, like there's so much consumption happening. And so what is actually nourishing you from an energetic perspective in relationships, in media, in like, there's just so much to...

be mindful of because it's really shaping you more than you think. And we just have so much flying at us all day, every day. And so like for us to kind of step into a more like

power position in our own life to be able to kind of regulate like what comes in, I think is really, really powerful. For sure. Because so much of it is out of our control, but I think there's a lot that is. And so if we can just become a bit more mindful, a bit more of a gatekeeper to what we consume on every level, I just think we'll feel like more alive. We'll feel more energetic. Like it has repercussions that I don't think people are really thinking about. Oh, for sure. Yeah.

Chapter seven, feeling the burnout. We've polled you many a times. People are burnt out. I know. Okay. And I know this is something that you recently admitted you're still kind of like chewing on and working on. I'm a big fraud. No, you're not. I think it's real. What's the hardest part about admitting that you're burnt out for you? So the hardest part about admitting that I'm burnt out is...

I feel embarrassed that I'm burnt out and not more successful. If you guys can't tell, this is my Achilles heel is my success. And so it feels embarrassing. Like when people are like, you're so busy, your schedule is so busy. I'm like, my friends that are more successful than me have less busy schedules. And that's what feels hard for me. But I think the concept and topic of burnout is so important, especially for women, because

everyone in our audience and so many women that we met on tour, we had an experience where we had a tour stop in Washington, D.C., and there was like 150 women in the room. And at that point, me and you were burnt out. I was running a tight ship. I was cracking the whip. And we were working our full-time jobs at that point on tour. At every tour stop, we had to set up the tour, do the

Whole presentation, meet everyone, say hi, travel, all of that. Full-time jobs. We kind of were, I don't even know how we made it work. And so we got to the Washington, D.C. tour stop and Lindsay and I step in front of everyone. And for some reason, there's something about me where I can't talk about anything that's not pertinent for me in that moment. And so I was just like, who here is burnt out? Because I was so burnt out.

And everyone in the audience raised their hands and they looked exhausted and they looked heartbroken to admit it. Like it was like this moment of realization of the truth of where they were. Because if you think about that, you know, you're requesting a moment of reflection, like where you're like, I'm here to consume this from this person, but actually, and then she's asking me a question that causes me to pause and be like, I'm so burnt out.

And I'm so tired. And most women are. You know, women right now are earning more than men. Women right now are more educated than men. And that's not anything to slight of men, but...

They're working really hard in both the office and then at home. You know, mothers just have a very specific role with their kids. Women are usually ones that are responsible for the emotional temperature and the spiritual depth of the relationship. And again, it's not like men are doing anything, but women are just caring a lot. And especially with a dual income earner. So...

The women in our community are women that want more for their life. They want to live lives that they love. They want to be in love with every aspect of their life. And that also means that they're pushing themselves to get that. They're pushing themselves to achieve that or to receive that. And so it's just a space that I feel so passionate about because I do believe that there is a space for us to be rested and a space for us to...

live in a way that feels more balanced. And I would say right now, I don't feel burnt out. I feel at peace. But there are moments where I'm pushing myself too hard. And I think that I've made, I've stretched my capacity so much that my capacity is at a level that's not normal. And I look forward to recalibrating that after the book. But I think what's allowed me to be in flow and not feel sick or not feel completely overwhelmed is

is all the support that I get from, you know, the teachers that I meet with and the teachers that I connect with. And then also doing work that I love. Yeah. How do you, because you do do what you love. And it's like, I guess, when does that burnout creep in? Is it like when the, you feel like you need to push more than you need to? Yeah. When I'm out of self. So like my burnout will happen with my work when I'm

not giving myself enough time to process. Like I had two weeks where I had one of my retreats, I was traveling both weekends for friends and we had tons of press podcast interviews. So I was

out. So what was happening that was actually burning me out, the work I love, but what was burning me out was me not processing what was happening and my inner critic. So we can get so burnt out when we have an inner critic that's really loud. When we have a voice that's telling us that we're not enough. When we have this like perfectionist part of us that's just on our fucking tail all day.

And it's just like after us to like keep us going. But when I'm in flow and I'm just trusting, I can do a lot. My capacity is great. So during this week, my inner critic and my moderator, I'll call her, was just on and popping, just like talking to me, critiquing me and judging me. And that's what burns me out because that's what makes me feel like

There's something wrong with me rather than just being in flow. Like even right now in the past two weeks, we've had so much on, but I feel amazing because I've kind of made peace with that voice and I can be present for what is. Yes. Yes. I think sometimes you need to kind of hit that point of being like, you know, so that you can kind of come back to...

That homeostasis, you know, like kind of need to swing. I think too, you know, what I also have learned is like how, you know, because when that's happening, I'm running from the inner critic and I'm not listening. But when I can turn to her and be like, hey, what's up? And using your inner critic as your inner coach. It's like, what does she have to say to me? In that case, she had to say stuff about how I facilitated at my retreat.

opportunities for improvement. She also had stuff to say about how I was running my energy and my sessions with my clients. And so where I hear it as like, you're not enough, you need to do these things, da, da, da, da. If I really sit down and listen and I just pick apart what she's saying, I can really use it for my benefit. Because all that information, not all of it, but sometimes information that our inner critic has can be helpful. It can be like, hey, you know, you sucked at that presentation. It's like, cool. If I was to listen to that,

What would I do differently? I would prepare more. I would get more clear. You know, it's like kind of taking the drama out of it can also be helpful. Yes. Yeah, because there's a – yeah, taking the tone out and it's just like – Taking the tone. Taking the tone. Yeah, that's powerful. Yeah, inner critic is just huge. The burnout chapter, I'm really excited for people to –

to have because I want people to feel support. I want women to feel good. So the money chapter is interesting. So we have a chapter on money. So we wanted to add a chapter on money because this book is the spiritual guidebook to adulting. We wanted to support you guys in really having a life that you love. And having money or having a good relationship with money is so huge for that. And I was sharing about money the other day on my stories because I was talking about my credit score, which

Which is 821, not to brag. Say it again. And that's because my mom opened up a credit card for me when I was like four years old under my name. Anyhow. And because I made good decisions. But in the money chapter, so many people want to learn about money and want to be better with money. So what was...

The biggest money mistake that you made in your 20s. This is my favorite chapter, which is random, but I actually read it and I was like... It's so helpful. This is really good. Can you repeat the question? Yeah. What was the biggest money mistake that you made in your 20s? Avoidance. Such a good one. You know, like... That is... For people that want to be better with money, the number one thing is looking at your money and understand what's going on. You have to look at it. So I like tell a story in this chapter, like...

There was just this one period where probably many, but this one I remember where it had been quite a long time since I actually looked at my bank accounts. And I was so terrified because I just knew I was like, this is bad. Like, you know, I'm working my tail off, making a bunch of cash at the bars, but somehow like it's all flying out the window, whether it's rent, bills, social life, things I don't need, um,

And so I literally was like, okay, tonight's the night. So I like literally got under my covers as if someone was watching me, but I'm like with my computer and like signing into my bank account. I was like, okay, here we go. Open our eyes. And I was like bracing for the worst. And it, you know, it was like bad. It was like two accounts were in the red and like, you know, it was bad. Right. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to feel. I actually felt better that I looked at it. Yeah. Yeah.

And so that surprised me. I was like, okay, there's something here. There's something here to actually just looking at it because then I know. Then I know. I don't know the next step necessarily in that moment, but I just knew that, okay, now I have this information. What are we going to do about it? Yeah.

This information will actually stop me from ordering, you know, an outfit for the next weekend, the next day. Whereas not looking at it, I would have ordered an outfit the next day because I'm just like, fuck it, whatever. It's probably bad anyway. You know, it's like that type of mentality. So once I saw, I couldn't unsee anything.

And I think another really important part of healing your money story is looking at where it came from, you know, like understanding the origins of your relationship with money and forgiving. You know, I had to forgive...

my parents for like not really teaching me a lot about money and having resentment and just wanting so desperately to be the kid who had the credit card at four years old and had that like credit history there and knew how to use a credit card and knew how to respect her money and save this and invest that.

And I just had to like understand where that came from for me. And it also helped me to understand where their money stories in a general sense like came from just to have a little bit more compassion and

But then it's also then really shifting to I can create my own money story now. Like there can be a turn in this story and I am going to be directing it. And so in this chapter, I also give really, really tactical advice on how you do this. And it gets kind of unsexy, to be honest, in this chapter. But I think it's important that we just...

We dig into the unsexy so that you can actually have a sexy relationship with money moving forward and create sexy parts of your life using money. You know, you kind of have to do that stuff to get in right relationship with money and know how to like move money in your life in a way that's responsible and respectful of money. I think the third piece, like I also talk about the, just the energetics of money. So working with that and, and,

And understanding that, you know, I wouldn't, I'm not someone who's like money is only energy. I think there's an energetic behind money, but I also think that there's an energy that we bring to money that's more of what I'm talking about as far as the energetics of money. So, yeah.

I would love for people to kind of create that and cultivate that relationship with money where you kind of like groove with money in your own way, in a way that's like very centered and grounded for you, very respectful to money, but also...

Where you are using money for your own unique life in the way that you desire. It's not like you need to have this much in savings. You need to invest in this. It's like, how do we really understand like how money can work for us in our own unique lives? And then we can kind of move from there. Sahil Bloom has the, he was on the show and that was really good with his episode. There's also such an unlock in your life when you stop blaming your parents for things.

And you're just like, you know what? Well, that was the day in therapy. I was like, so this is what it's about. Yeah, dude, this is, I mean, the unhottest thing about someone is if they're just like, well, my parents, I'm like, we all have parents, dog. Yeah, and you just, yeah, it's taking responsibility for,

I the lead up is hard. But once you do it, that's true. It's now it's fun. It's fun, man. Yeah, I'm in control. I fucked up. I know. I know. Dude, that's such a power move. Oh, my God. Just apologizing immediately is such a power move. I'm so sorry. And in romantic relationships, especially. Yeah, sure. Get in my pants by just being like, I didn't get a sorry for 10 years, dog.

The way I had to, that was so painful. I was like, but sorry means that you understand what I'm saying. Why are you so obsessed with sorry? Because it means you literally understand what I'm saying. Literally. Psychotic. The Search for Purpose was a chapter that I wrote. Oh my God, such a powerful chapter. Okay, this was, when I met Krista, purpose was something you so desperately wanted to find, you know? Yeah.

Catch me up at night. A lot of people will relate to this question. So I'm curious what you think. How do you separate purpose from career? A lot of people get confused. They're like, my career needs to be my purpose. And it could be. But like, I'm curious how you've kind of thought about that.

So I think first for purpose, I think we're born on purpose, for purpose and with purpose. I think our soul's experience here in the human body is the purpose. So I think whatever we do from a soul perspective is all good. You know, it's achieving what it wants to achieve just through the existence.

And I think in life we sort of put into a box this thing called purpose. And we're like, I have to find purpose in a box. And I have to make my life feel like it has purpose. For me, that was such a painful experience for me where I felt like I had to find this thing that was undefined and that was purposeful.

And that was specific to some people and not to others that would be specific to me. And I didn't know what I was chasing or achieving or trying to go for with purpose, but I knew I wanted to find it. I wanted to feel like I was here for meaning. And so I think when I found Almost 30, you know, after we were a few months in or maybe a year in, I realized that it was a part of my purpose. You know, I thought it was my purpose. And then I realized that I have more purposes and your purpose starts to evolve.

But I think what felt like purpose for me was feeling like I was doing something that both hit on the person that I am and the gifts that I have and the way that gives me energy to serve. So...

For me, purpose really was I'm so gifted at conversations, at asking questions, at being curious. You know, what are my natural gifts, skills, and abilities that I've been cultivated through my life? And then what gives me energy and how it's expressed in the world? And those two things happen with Almost 30, and that's how I choose to really see my purpose. Also, what becomes easy for me is also what I see as purpose. So now coaching is so easy for me. Retreats, like doing the podcast, it's so easy for me. It gives me energy. Yeah.

But I think it's so natural for people to align purpose with career because it would make sense that you would want to make some money doing what you love. I don't think it's a bad thing to believe that your career has purpose or believe that, you know, your purpose can be experienced through career. But I also think it's a part of like the matrix a little bit to be like this money making is how I experience my purpose. It's like that's not really how that works from what I perceive. But I think it's a worthwhile and

you know, honorable pursuit to believe you're going to find your career, your purpose in your career. I think, again, just to be able to find your purpose, what you can do is use tools like astrology, human design are really helpful for finding your purpose, asking your community and friends what you're naturally good at and where you excel.

Seeing where in your life things have happened really naturally and easily, seeing what you've gone through that's been really hard in your life and how that could be something that you serve as your purpose. So say you were someone that grew up, you were adopted. Maybe you want to help people through the adoption process. You could help people through things that you were hard with.

And then also really seeing what gives you energy and what really happens naturally and easily for you in your life. And this might make you kind of look outside of yourself to see. But it would be, you know, a dream of mine for more people to feel like they're living on purpose. You write about just a really –

easy way to understand maybe what you're naturally good at, but you ask people that you know and love. Yeah. Like an honorable, just like an easy practice is to ask the people, five people that you know and love just where they see you excelling, where they see your natural gifts and

And then where they've been most impacted by you in their life. And for me, if I was to ask five people, they'd say, you're an amazing listener. You are super caring. You're super funny. Like whatever the things are. And then I could look at that and be like, okay, this is what feels good. This is where I'm experienced naturally. Where could I do something like that in my life? Where could I use these natural skills in my life and have them experienced by others? Mm-hmm. Powerful.

Okay. You know how I'm always saying we don't have to subscribe to old narratives about what health and fitness should look like? Yeah, it's true. Evlo Fitness is one of the best examples of that. I've been sharing about this a lot on my Instagram. I have been obsessed with Evlo. It is a science-backed strength training program designed for women's bodies. And most importantly, our nervous systems.

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Evlo was just named one of the best fitness apps of 2025 by Women's Health. So like, it's not just me who's obsessed, but I'm seeing strength gains. I'm feeling less bloated and my joints are just thanking me. If you're ready to feel strong and supported and just like your best self without pushing your body past its limits, Evlo is for you. Head to evlofitness.com and use the code ALMOST30TRIAL for six weeks free.

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It's going to change your life. Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to hero.co, H-E-R-O.co, and use the code ALMOST30 at checkout. That's ALMOST30 at H-E-R-O.co. Okay, let's talk about career. A career reckoning is the one that you had because you've had a lot of different careers in your life. I think I have two, actually. I was worked at, my first job was at a nursing home. Then I worked at the chicken joint.

Then I worked at Dick's Sporting Goods for one day. Then my first job was in management consulting, digital marketing, international events, all over the board. Yeah, I think it's a cool thing to have many careers. I think we're kind of stepping into that

time now where it's a bit more normalized, I hope. I think it's cool because the book challenges the traditional idea of a career ladder. I think both of us haven't had a career ladder and we instead suggest a career portfolio. Can you talk about the career portfolio and why can that help you navigate your career path? Yeah, I think a career portfolio is important because from our experience, both of ours, you know,

Every job that we've had has given us skills, insight, experience that have prepared me for the next. You know, and I think to an outsider, you might see my career portfolio and be like, yeah.

How do we connect those? So I think to that outsider, you might become that outsider and have so much judgment for, okay, so I went to a prestigious college, but then after college, I became a bartender. And then after I became a bartender, I became a fit model, but then I was also still bartending some nights. And then from a fit model, I became a SoulCycle instructor.

And then a SoulCycle instructor, I'm still trying to audition, become an actress. SoulCycle instructor, I start a podcast. Then we kind of quit. You know, it's like, it sounds a little kooky. Mm-hmm.

But I think what a career portfolio has helped me to understand is that one, you know, my path is very, very unique and it's very dynamic. You know, a portfolio ideally should be dynamic. You know, it should have a lot of different colors and flavors and textures and experiences. Right.

And so when I look back on it, I understand I could look at bartending and know that I learned how to communicate with a lot of different types of people, how to listen really, really well, how to create an experience for people, which helped me in my life as a SoulCycle instructor. I'm creating experience for someone in every single class that I teach. I'm learning how to listen and communicate with my, you know, fitness clients. It's like,

it all makes sense. And so I think if you are someone who's had, you know, a few different careers up until this point, take a moment and look at what you've learned, who you've connected to, the person that you become in each one of these roles or jobs, the relationships that you've made, and the growth that you've had. And you're taking it with you. It all serves the next. And

Yeah. So I just want to say that about, I think we can just reframe the career portfolio. But what I also wanted to mention just about this chapter is that, you know, not, I think a lot of people can feel like, okay, I'm not happy at my job right now, but there's kind of this pull of like,

But I don't think I want to like totally completely change my career and leave this job. There is this nuance, I think, to that rumbling, which is maybe there's like a reckoning within your current job. Totally. So that's kind of where this chapter came from. There could be purposeful pivots within your actual role or it might be outside and you start anew. But I think this is a more nuanced situation that a lot of people find themselves in where

You know, it's important that you look at where you found yourself on autopilot in your current job, where you're not stepping into your gifts, where there's opportunity to step more into what you are really good at, what you're really interested in, and to leverage the relationships that, you know, really call to you. Because

I don't know. I found myself, and I'm sure you did in the corporate world, found myself complacent at times, you know, where I just felt like it was happening to me. Like I'm like, well, I don't have much power or agency in this moment when I really did. I had a lot more than I thought I did. And for example, at SoulCycle, you know, I was unhappy with like my scheduling. I just felt pretty stale in my classes, you know,

I didn't like the locations at one point where I was working. And I was like letting that happen for so long that I became like unhappy and should I quit? Rather than really looking at it and being like, but I really love this job. There are just aspects of the experience right now that could stand to change and I can actually change them or have conversations to change them. So

I know there's such a funny thing where it's, again, communication. Literally, if you were to communicate and be like, I want a different schedule. Yeah. It's actually that simple. But it's a funny thing that we do as humans where we're like, you know, we feel out of control of our lives. I know. Especially in a work environment. Yeah. I had a few conversations with my, you know, people who were handling my schedule, et cetera. And I was just like being honest.

They're like, okay, great. Let's try this out. Let's do this. And then I kind of felt re-inspired in my classes and I was trying new formats and music and whatever. And then I was having a totally new experience. Yeah, totally. Because you communicated. And I was showing up being better. Yeah.

So it's just we have a lot more agency than we think in these moments. I'll never forget on my first corporate job in management consulting, my work wife Cassidy, who was my ride or die confident through like the most dramatic years in my early 20s. She asked them to go part time and then she went part time and then pursued another degree. Yeah. And they were like, yeah, sure. Blew my mind. I was like, you –

ask them for something and they said yes and then you're going to get like what? And we were in our early 20s. It was just like those little things where you're like, oh, you can do this thing. You can ask for that. Yeah. And then you can kind of evaluate, do I make a bigger pivot out of this career? I think that's in friendships and relationships too. It's like see what you can do in the place that you're in. Yes. 100%. 100%. Okay. Chapter 11, family matters. Who

How does your relationship with your family shift during your late 20s? So this chapter, I talk about the mother wound. I talk about our family dynamics. I talk about codependency. These are so important because I think in your 20s, you're waking up to a shifting dynamic with your family and you might be waking up to the patterns that you're in. So I would say the biggest, you know, when I was in college was when I first really created boundaries. I didn't know what I was doing, but I was like in my mind, I was like,

I had gotten to college. My parents just got divorced and they were really struggling to find their way of whatever they were doing. My dad was like living in an apartment somewhere. My mom was living somewhere. It was kind of chaotic. And I just remember in my head being like, I'm going to take a little break from y'all. I was like, I did my time. I'm taking a little break from y'all. And so I just really pulled back and created a boundary and not chose to not participate in whatever was going on between them.

And so that first boundary really set the stage for me to like recalibrate and individuate in my life. And then in my 20s is when I really started to look at my body, which led me to look at my mother wound.

And the mother wound is, you know, a collective wound that women experience and feel. You can be a mother and have it. You can be a daughter and have it. You can be a grandmother and have it. We all sort of have it. And it's a collection of patriarchal wounds of being a woman in the patriarchy. It's a collection of ancestral wounds. And it's really the experience of having a relationship with your mother where not all your needs were met. You know, something might have happened. There might have been rupture. And it could be extreme or it could be light.

Our mothers are our first representation of women, our first representation of a relationship, our first representation of nourishment. It's who we're clocking and attuning to from a very young age. So it's a very important relationship. So the mother wound was really what I worked on in my 20s and looking at the ways in which

The dynamic I had had with my mom influenced my lack of trust in women. I mean, you know me. I didn't trust you until seven years in probably. I don't – literally. I remember the day when I decided to trust you. It was a day I was like, you don't trust me. No, literally. We were in it. We were in it and we were on a call with our coach. And you were – oh, no, no, no. It was something – I fucked up. And I fucked up and I called you and I was like, I really fucked up. And you're like, okay, what are we going to do about it?

And I was like, cool. I was like, she's truly ride or die because she's riding for me right now. And I really fucked up. And you were like, cool. And then you were like, I just don't want you to do this again. But we did have a moment. I forget what the context was, but...

Where I could feel you not trusting me. And I said out loud, I was like, I just feel like you don't trust me. Oh my God, so true. And then I think that was like a little bit of a light too. Totally. You were like, oh wow, that's... You became conscious of it, at least within our dynamic. Totally.

Because I was just like confused. I'm like, dude, I'm your best friend. Dude, honestly. And I'm like, yeah. You're like, still don't trust me. Keep trying. Honestly, I'm like, I'm going to rob a bank and I'm going to see if you tell anybody. And then I'm going to decide if I'm going to trust you. I was like, I'm going to tell you I killed someone and see if you tell. Yeah, so I didn't trust women. I didn't trust women that they could hold me, be there for me, all of these things.

And I also realized that, you know, the relationship with your family sets the stage for the other relationships you have in your life. So that's also your romantic relationship. So I started to look at the ways in which my parents' dynamic was influencing the dynamic I was in with my ex-husband and just really kind of exploring that more. So when you become, when you're in your 20s, you know, or even right now, just looking at

how you feel about your mom, how you feel about your dad, how you feel about their relationship, how you feel about the home that you grew up in and really just exploring that can be so helpful to understand why your life is the way that it is today. And I really did that in my 20s. Oh, yeah. It's everything. Yeah. I know, honestly. It was like, and that's the chapter two. My sweet mom was like,

did you write about me in the book and i think i did kindly yeah and i love her she's great i did kindly though yeah um because that's maturity

Definitely. Thank you. Okay, relationship status. This was the relationship one. So in the book, we go from family to relationships because relationships are a huge topic of conversation in your 20s. I think all I did in my 20s, well, I was in a relationship. So if I wasn't, I would have been undone, undone and feral. I would have been desperate for a relationship. How do you know when it's time to walk away from a relationship?

Or no, actually, let's do this one. Sorry, I deleted that. What's the biggest difference between love in your 20s and in your 30s? When I was in my 20s, I was just so desperate for someone to choose me. And I was waiting for my life to start in a lot of ways until that happened. And it was almost as if I was waiting for someone to love me so I could love my life.

And, you know, it's corny, but, you know, my seven year stint of being single was ultimately this walk back to myself and walk back to myself in the way that I actually started to like deeply love and respect myself, understand myself, have compassion for myself in a way that I never have before. And it's imperative, I think. Yeah.

that you have this when you're in a deep intimate relationship because you tell people how to treat you, you know? And so I, in my twenties was settling for less than stellar behavior, like pretty bad. And that's because I didn't really have that.

that respect for myself. I think from the outside, I would have been like, I respect myself. I love myself. Dude, I had that too. But in practice, I did not. I was like, no one can tell me shit. Like, I was like... I know. I'm like... No, I do. Like, I'm a self-respecting girl. But I wasn't doing that in practice. I know. So I just had to get very, very honest with myself. It was a lot of therapy. It was a lot of like spending time by myself. And I think...

It's a really beautiful thing. And I know you experience this now where it's just like, I really love my own company, you know? And I think in loving my own company, I also am more attuned to just how I feel, what I need on a minute by minute basis. Like what feels good to me, what doesn't. And so when you bring that into relationship, you just bring so much more opportunity to connect like in a very real way, right?

Um, and so I'm also bringing into my thirties, like, you know, I'm bringing that self love, but I'm also bringing like all parts of me. And you and I were talking about this offline, you know, off air earlier today where it's just like, it feels so good to be like loved and embraced by someone as all of you. Yeah.

You know, bringing the messy parts, the unprocessed parts, the ugly parts. Yeah, because 20s was like hiding that. It was hiding it. Totally. 20s was only show perfect. Yeah. Totally. Only show cool girl. I only want to show what I think you think is deemed cool, acceptable, your future wife. Yes. Okay. 100%. And I mean, the truth always comes to light. Like, just lay it out there as soon as possible. I know, honestly. Yeah.

But yeah, my 30s, it's just an experience of me loving myself and then also being loved by someone for all of who I am. And it's just, it's been very healing. Yeah. Very, very healing on so many levels. And it continues to happen where I like see parts of myself and I'm like, oh, and then I have this old part of me that's like, are you going to leave me? Because this part comes to the table. And then there's just that.

that an embrace of it all over and over again. I'm like, okay. And slowly, you know, my nervous system, my heart is just like, okay, we're safe here. You know, this is, this is home. And I think the final thing I'll say about relationships in my twenties versus my thirties in my twenties, I was definitely after that high and low, that rollercoaster, that spark, that big firework show, blah, blah, blah. The drama of it all. I know. I was thinking about that. I was like, Oh, I kind of missed that.

Yeah, but that's like something the nervous system gets used to and kind of like craves. And so in my 30s, like I realized when I reconnected with Sean, it felt like really peaceful. And I think there was a part of me that feels that and says boring or says, like, what's the fun in this? The peace and just the feeling of like comfort and safety and home is really what it's about.

If you're going to have a partner maybe for the rest of your life or a good portion of your life, like life will throw you the drama, you know. And I don't want my partner to also be the drama on top of the life drama. You know, I want – we're going to go through it. We're going to have those moments. But like I do want them to be that like solid rock in my life in so many ways. So definitely different than my 20s. So much. Yeah.

Okay. Chapter? Friendship. 13. So now we move to the friendship chapter. We had to write about friendships because friendships change so much in your 20s and you really find your groove in your 30s. We've gone through many friendship, our friendship, but also just like just in how we relate to friends, how we nurture our friendships. I feel like it's been quite a journey. For sure. Yeah.

Why do you feel like friendships change so much in your late 20s? You know, I also maybe that's just my experience. You know, my experience, people could be like, I have the same friends forever. I lived in the same. I think when you're someone that's constantly changing, growing and evolving, your relationships are going to change, grow and evolve.

And what you're interested in changes. I moved quite a bit. I think there's just so much that happens. I also think you're really making big decisions that impact the rest of your life. So whether you move, have children, get married, and these decisions kind of define where you spend your time. And so a lot of your time spent is different. But I really think it's people changing, growing and evolving, people changing their priorities. But it's huge. Yeah. Did you...

Did you have any friends from your late 20s that you still have now besides me that you were able to kind of like come to each other and like almost update each other on who you're becoming and like actually grow together? I think I have a few, but I would say what I did with the friends that I've had for a long time is I less so I just accept them where they are and who they are. I actually don't expect them to change. I

I understand how they show up in my life as a friend and I just accept it. And I now see what used to bother me as quirks and now I find it endearing. I find it endearing that they're stuck in the same patterns they've been in since we were 12. I find it endearing that they self-sabotage. I find it... You know what I mean? Like, I just love them and I'm there for them and I don't judge them and I just...

accept them as they are because I remember so much of my life was spent trying to change them and trying to like bring them along and pull them along my path and be like, come on, it's so good over here. Like life is so fun when you like don't hate yourself. Like it's just – but I did that and people don't want to change. You know, people want to be loved as they are. So I really just accepted that. So I have had some that have gotten the system update over time but none like the way that ours has been, I would say. Yeah, no, I think it's a really good point where, you know, I think you kind of –

detangle from like the every friend needing to be everything for you during that time too. Yeah, that was I think too what I understood as friendship was oversharing performed vulnerability

trauma bonding and the same type of priorities. So like do you want to find dudes? Do you like music festivals? Do you like fashion? Whatever those things are which are very surface level and now at this point it's like more of a frequency level. I don't really care what my friends do. I don't really care

you know, about anything but like how I feel in their presence and how inspired by them I am and how aligned our values are. You know, that's what really matters to me. So it's also like crystallizing what I am looking for in friendship and what I really desire in friendship. Whereas in my 20s, I was just kind of

floating around being friends with people. I had great relationships, but I didn't really have like an understanding of what I needed or desired in a friendship. And in the book, I talk a lot about, you know, the friendship audit and the friendship audit is really just looking at your relationships and really getting clear on what type of friends you want in your life and how much energy you want to spend with them. And I think for a lot of us,

Don't hold on in a letting go season. You got to let go of a lot of relationships that are just kind of on the periphery, just taking energy from you. Yeah. It'd be a very hard thing because I think also we make meaning out of what that says about us. Yeah, for sure. Or I did just from my experience where I'm like, oh, I don't want to be a bad friend. I don't want someone to hate me. I don't want blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. For me to be perceived as a bad friend, it like keeps me up at night. Yeah. Yeah.

But that's about, but then I'm about me. Exactly. That's about me. It's not about the person. So it's like, what do you want? You want to be perceived as a good person or you want to be a good person? Yes. And being a good person is being truthful to you and truthful to them. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, man. We did it. Let's just read a few of our quotes. Take us home. Remind yourself that right this very moment, you are in a place of possibility. Yes.

Seasons change and so do your friends. Expect things to shift, but trust that these shifts are ultimately for the better, what we were just talking about. The energy of curiosity is so much more open and light, don't you think? It's also so important to nurture because curiosity is at the very heart of living the most deeply meaningful version of your life. Your Saturn return will remind you that you are meant to focus on who you really are, not who you feel you need to be in order to be loved.

To avoid change is to avoid being human. Suspend the ideas around who you're supposed to be and approach this next period as an adventure, the great mystery of life in action.

This is from Mel. Mel was on our podcast and we included her in our Pass the Mics. When you don't follow your jealousy toward the things that you want, it will haunt your ass. You need to wake up, unpack it, flip it into inspiration and start taking action in the direction of that thing. Our Pass the Mics are so fun.

This is from Glennon Doyle in the past. The mics. I can't imagine another point to life than just over and over becoming truer and more beautiful versions of ourselves, which ironically usually means we're just going back to the versions of ourselves we were born with. For a point earlier about forgiving our parents, Jennifer Freed says, if you're still blaming your parents at 30, you're in trouble. It's up to you what kind of life you make. Love that. Yeah.

Amazing. Who you are is never, ever lost. Don't give anyone or anything that much power.

Thank you guys for tuning in to us interview each other about the Almost 30 book, which is available now, a definitive guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond. We have blurbs from amazing people like Jay Shetty, Jenna Kutcher, Gabby Bernstein, Jill Winterstein, Lala Adelia, Shalina Ayana, Ofi and Tali of the Astro Twins. We have Pass the Mics from Ramit Sethi. We have Amber Rae, Marie Forleo, Tinks, Rich Roll, and

Peta Kelly, so many incredible people are featured in this book in addition to our really real, raw, vulnerable stories and then practical tips to support you on your path. Yeah, we're honored to support you. This is an incredible book for yourself.

and as a gift for anyone in your life moving through change. So thank you so much. The actual book and audio book are now available everywhere you get your books. Yeah, get the audible. You'll hear our voices. It's the best. It's the best. Thank you for helping us bring this to life and being our inspiration always. We are so grateful to be connected to women like you all over the world. It's so meaningful, all the love and support you've given us. Truly, you guys have taken so much energy and time out of your day to be kind and generous and

We love you so much. Almost30.com slash book to get the book. Almost30.com. We will see you on the next one. Love you all. Love you. Bye. Bye.

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Thank you.