EP 68: Embracing Messy Beginnings and Creating Authentic Connections with Stacey Lauren
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Hey everybody, welcome back to the Aquaria podcast. I'm your host, Jenny Wright, and this is going to be a really fun episode. And we're diving into something that is absolutely essential for everybody who's looking to build meaningful connections in their business and actually growing it. So I'm thrilled to announce our guest for today, Stacey Loren. Stacey, say hi. Hey, I'm

I'm so excited to be here. Absolutely. Me too. We've had lots of like off-camera conversations, so I'm really glad to get us in the podcast. And also this is going to be shared on YouTube so everybody will get to see your face. So I'm going to tell everybody a little bit about you so they know who you are. You are the founder of the Do The Thing Community and Podcast.

and a podcast business mentor, community builder, and a full-on entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience helping all these wonderful people. So it says that you're leading one of Southern California's largest family-owned staffing companies.

crazy. Stacey's honed the art of building strong relationships and thriving communities. And now we're going to get into how we build these relationships and what are these thriving communities and how other people can sort of learn these different techniques because everybody wants to have more exposure. So first, let's start off with what are the benefits of really growing your community and creating a strong and powerful community?

Yeah. So, and actually, so I led a, a staffing industry and then I exited that business. And so what I learned from what I learned from that was how important the power of community was there because when you're, uh,

And how important it is when it's not there. And so as I started to get into do the thing, I got to see just like the huge benefits of being able to just be in the space with other people. And especially when it's around a shared goal.

Because that's when you're able to get out of your head. You're able to get out of perfectionism and self-doubt and all those things that can plague us for so long. And so to me, that's the biggest benefit is by being around other people that are doing the same thing as you and that have a common goal. It helps you take action and helps you reach your goals so much faster and with more ease. Mm-hmm. Ease is a thing. People...

People often come to me and say, "I want to achieve X," and it's always a monetary goal, or "I want to have 50 people in my new program." I'm like, "Great, what are you doing behind the scenes?"

that is going to facilitate that happening. And I think as we build community, it doesn't matter where you are in your business, first year or 10 years, doesn't matter. But as long as you're continuously trying to either build community or replenish the areas, because we all move around, right? We all are in some communities and then we're not in some other communities. As long as you're keeping that really focused and adding to it versus just letting it deplete, you're going to be able to grow, I think,

Talk to me about the niche of being in the right communities. How do you know if you're doing the right thing, if you're around the right people? Because obviously the right, you know, having the right people around you or being in that right niche is going to be better. It's going to help you grow more quickly or, you know, find the right kinds of customers and clients. Yeah, it's such a great question because.

And sometimes you might not even know it's right. Like there's one group that I'm like in sort of, but it's kind of over my head and I don't even really understand it. But there's part of me that's fascinated by it because I want to I want to learn. Right. Like if you're only around the thing that you know, then it's hard to like go outside of that. And so I'm kind of in there just sort of peeking so I can understand it better because it's a whole nother.

a world. And so, so I think that's kind of one of the things that's really great about knowing when you're in the right room, you know, is are there people ahead of you, you know, and then are there other people that you can help? Because when you're in the middle, like it's great, because then you're able to like learn from the other people, but then you're able to contribute to the people that don't know as much as you, which really helps you

Get the fulfillment because you're contributing and you're learning all in the same place. What was the first community you ever built?

Yeah, it's so interesting because like I had this staffing company, right? And you would think that it would have felt like community back then. And we were very like people oriented. But I think I'm like, I've been on this quest because of feeling this like lack also, you know? And so really the first one, if I officially want to say where I felt like it was my own voice, my own voice,

my own purpose and I'm following like what I'm like on this earth to do. It was when I started my first do the thing group, which was it started off with the singles group. I did a dating challenge and

And I basically put them in a Facebook group and I had a hundred people in there. I posted in one of the other groups I'm in, it was a Peloton singles over 40 group and said, Hey, I have this idea for a fun challenge. It involves dares who wants to come and a hundred people said yes. Yeah.

And, and then we just did dares for a couple weeks. And it was so much fun. And so that that was a community because people that were scared of, you know, even getting off their couch, honestly, and going out by themselves, right, they went out by themselves, or people that were like severely introverted and never talked to a stranger said hi to strangers, or people that went to a dog park to say hi to someone and pet their dog, you know, like, it's like they got to have this

playful spirit about what they were doing and it connected everyone together, you know, and it's been amazing just to kind of like see it grow and evolve. And I ended up after that challenge, I did another challenge and then I eventually changed the group to

to a singles group specifically, because I didn't want to just do dating. I realized it was so much more than dating. It was personal growth. And now I have several other communities where I do other things, but that was kind of like the starting point when I realized this was something bigger than what I had originally kind of even imagined it being. That is so cool. I, I can't resist a good dare. I can't, I've done some things. Yeah.

So curious. You'll have to wait for my podcast for that one. Oh, yeah, for sure. But I mean, it excites me because you're like, oh, yeah, I dare you. And I'm like, oh, yeah, well, I don't back down. No, I try not to do that kind of stuff. But it's dares are fun because they get you out of your comfort zone and make you do stuff. And if you're anybody like me, I'm kind of like, yeah, if you tell me I can't, I probably am definitely going to try. Yeah.

And see if I can just to prove that either I can. I mean, I'm not going to do stupid, crazy stuff, but I definitely want to see if there's something I can do. And I think dares are kind of fun. They kind of liberate you a little bit sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. It changes the part of your brain that says like, oh, I can't do it because it gives you a reason. And the way I design my everything I do, it's like, it's not like the huge scary thing. You know, it's typically just like a micro thing.

kind of dare. Although in one of the dating challenges, I had an expert panel and the founder of my podcast platform, he was one of the experts that was on the panel and he gave the dating participants a dare of starting a podcast because he was like, that would be the best. Yeah.

you know, dating thing anyway, because you're learning how to handle rejection, connecting with people and all this stuff. And I mentioned it to my group. It was a bonus dare because it was more scary than like a regular one. And no one at the time took us up on it. But this kind of goes back to what you said earlier is how do you know you're in the right room and the right group? And I ended up starting a brand new group. That's when my second group started because a lot of people didn't want to

join the podcast challenge. And I just felt like really wanting to do that. But what's been cool is because they've still been in my world, that a lot of them are now starting their podcasts, you know, because they've like stayed around longer. And so the people that never thought that they would even want a podcast, like are now literally like after 100th episode, which is like really the coolest thing, you know, when you think about it. Absolutely. Absolutely. My gosh, getting to your 100th episode is a big milestone. Yeah. Yeah.

Totally. So talk to me about podcasting. Obviously, you're on a podcast, like how meta can we be about this, but you're on a podcast. Talk to me about the sort of like the power that podcasting can bring to sort of building your authority, building your community. And what's your focus? Like, what are you helping people with?

Yeah, so it started with I was dissecting a formula for what led people to success. Like, how did they really overcome their challenges, right, and got them to success? And so every interview, it's kind of cool because the people in it, if they listen to my first like 80 interviews, they'll hear me real time, like uncovering the person's formula where I'm like, oh, that's where you use mindset.

And that's where you surrounded yourself with people with a shared goal. And so all the things that are now that you do the thing formula are really like kind of played out in those first 80 episodes. And so that's what it started off being, uncovering the formula. And then all of a sudden, boom, 80th episode, it like totally became clear what the formula was. And for a while, it was just like kind of like,

The words and then all of a sudden I put the words on index cards on my table and then an acronym appeared. So it's a it's it's I'm game is what it stands for. So each piece of the formula, each letter stands for another piece. And then that's when I did my first group because I wanted to test the formula. And then that's where the my people part of it came out, which is what the community was.

piece that I'm so passionate about. But yeah, that's what the podcast was. And then since then, honestly, I don't even know what it is. It's like, it's like, I'm just having fun talking to people. Like, that's what it is. Like I go live in my, I don't really have a strategy around it. It's like, I go live in my community and I upload that on my podcast, which is great. Right. Not always, but a lot of times I'll take that episode and I'll take that and put it into an episode.

And then a lot of times I celebrate my community members. I, when I meet someone that's like really fascinating, you know, and I'm like really wanted to hear their story. I'm like interviewing them. Honestly, I'm trying to even do it less because my time is more limited. You know, I used to be able to do it all the time. And now I'm like being, I'm trying to, to just make sure it's dialed into what I'm doing now, which is helping people get out of their head.

grow their audience, really make an impact in the world. But at the bottom core of all of it is finding your voice. And so I like talking to people when I know they're following their true passion and they're really tapped into who they are and they're able to speak to that. That's something I always am wanting to do. And so that's a lot of it on the podcast because

I think that was the other thing. I was originally starting it because I wanted to help people reach their goals and get to success. And then all of a sudden I realized, wait, I've been doing this this whole time, but I haven't really tapped into like what I wanted. Right. And so it's been an evolution where find your voice has also been kind of like the underpinning of everything that I'm doing. I applaud that. That is huge. Finding your voice is massive. I think. And tell me if you think I'm if I'm right with this.

I think we go through different iterations of our voice with online entrepreneurs. I don't know about you, but mine's changed in like over 12 years. It's definitely had an evolution.

Yeah, 100%, like different phases, different things. And it's not just even finding your voice as an entrepreneur. Like first I have them find their voice as a human, you know, and really kind of like uncovering all those things that we're doing for others and what do we really want, you know, and what's like at the deepest part of ourselves. And then it's like, great, now you've figured that out. Now let's...

Let's figure out what we want to put into the world. And, you know, what it comes down to is we all have this

masks sometimes, right? That's like covering up who we are. And then we're attracting, whether we're dating, whether we have friends or business partners or whatever, and we're attracting the person that's at that mass level. We're not attracting the people that are like when we take the mask off. And I look at audience, I look at audience the same way. Like if you're going to wear a mask on and you're going to have to do all the things and have to show up a certain way, you're going to attract the person that's coming to your mask, not to your core. Right.

And that's what I like to help people do. Yeah. Seriously? You just said that. Wow. Okay. That was a very cool point, actually, that made me kind of think. Oh, boy. Yeah. I mean, who hasn't shown up as a – I mean, I definitely know what that means, and I think a lot of people are going to resonate with

with you saying that because we kind of put on air sometimes we put on a different persona, depending on what it is that we're doing. But when we show up authentically, and we're actually our true self, you know, I think that's so much better. I mean, I stopped, I used to show up for podcasts, like all done up and everything, because I knew they were the video was going to get used. But that's not authentically me.

Right. And it doesn't, you know, and then the other thing is some people, you know, some people have an air of uncomfortable, like uncomfortableness when it comes to putting themselves out there and it causes anxiety and whatnot. How do you help people who feel like that find their true voice if their true voice is really timid?

Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, it's people, it's community because when you get to see yourself, so like, for example, I have a find your voice challenge. Um, and if I'm, if I'm putting people in through this container of that challenge, they're doing these dares and they're sharing it in this like private space. Right. And when they're able to just like talk, you know, and, and

basically just say like one of the prompts it's nothing crazy like it's like if you were going to write a book what book would you write you know what I mean and then they're like showing up they could go live they could do a video they could type it sometimes it's like different layers I like to help people through those comfort circles it's like what are you like comfortable with and then just go an inch you know outside of that and uh and then they're seeing what other people are showing up as you know and then that's what like really gets it going because you

You're seeing we all have the same excuses, right? And maybe that's what it is. My dare, pre-dare that I do for every challenge, any program, it's what are your excuses and how are you going to overcome them? And once people see that we're all the same, we all have like the same fears, you know, they just show up in different ways. It really, it really just like...

It makes it feel not alone, you know? And so, so that's really how I help them do it. And I help them do it by showing it too. So like, if I am like, I mean, there's this one dare I had people do, which was thumb wrestle a stranger, you know? And how did that go over? Yeah.

I gave them an option for the people that didn't want to like hold the hand. And I was like, you could also rock, paper, scissor. I gave the dare and I had never done that before. And I'm like, okay, I guess I'm gonna have to thumb wrestle a stranger. Right. So then I would go thumb wrestle the stranger, show them and then, and then they would do it. And so, yeah, so there was that. And then I think I shared this with you with the podcast challenge. This is when I think I really tapped into my voice.

Because I used to be that person that was when I was like CEO of that staffing company, I was really rigid and timid and I would not go outside of my little safety zone of my company and speak to anyone. Like I was very like, I was definitely hiding. I would talk to my company, but that was kind of like my safe space. And I also didn't like it either. And so I really tapped into my message and who I was during the podcast challenge and what it was like.

was I got to see these amazing people and like who they were and like they were sharing their lived experience. And then all of a sudden, like people started like, like I'm seeing them all dressed up and it was almost like too much. It was like too fancy, you know? And I'm thinking like, you're going to mess it up for everyone else that just wants to like show up, you know? So that was the day I like, after I got out of the shower, I had my shower cap on and

And I like just had no makeup and I'm like doing this live and I'm like, listen, no one cares. Like, no, no. If you guys are going to not follow me because I have my shower cap on and I have my makeup on, then we're not in the right space. Right. So that's how the person that like needs to hear what you have to say feels. They don't care about your intro. They don't care about your, you know, about your anything, you know, just get started and

And then that's how it's going to get out there. And so that was the moment, though, because I never would have done that before. That was the moment that I like found my voice, you know. And so that's the other thing is the private. I don't know if I would have done it if it wasn't in my private group. And I think there's something to that. A lot of people think they have to do it on Instagram or somewhere else. And you could start in a really private space. And whether that's your podcast and just say, no one needs to hear this.

Or I could start in a private community. Either way, it's a winning situation because you're not putting it out everywhere yet. Definitely. Just that first little step helps, right? Yeah. Something to move that needle and to be able to kind of get an inch closer. I think, especially with entrepreneurship, it's all, I mean, I'm going to quote every given Sunday, it's

one of my favorite films actually, but it's, you know, it is a game of inches, right? Everything that we do is just a little bit of an impact forward and it changes the trajectory on what we're doing either positively or sometimes even negatively. And we have that happen all of us. And as long as you are continuing to make some sort of forward movement, as long as you're, you know, continuing to engage with people and trying to reconnect or network or whatever it is,

I think you're still making those attempts to move it forward. And then you, I feel like you get to a tipping point when you're, when you're within your authentic voice, you're reaching out to people, you're having those conversations. I think you hit a tipping point where things just start to compound. I don't know if you've had that in your life. I know I have. Does that happen for your clients as well? A hundred percent. Yeah. It's totally compounding because, uh,

People wonder like how they get so much results from just like 14 day challenge. Right. And it's because, because it's so little time and it's little, um,

movement it's little micro uh steps but because of the um when you when you put inches together over 14 days like it it does compound and then you have the magnification of the community so yeah they 100 feel that and that's why it's shocking like one of the girls uh a woman i love her she's like uh

She's like, I don't get it. I joined today. Now I have a podcast. And like, she's just like, now she's starting a community. And she's like, I don't even know what happened. Like, where did this even like you, you get to start to do things that you didn't even know was going to happen.

was possible. And then another one, another woman was like, she's like, I don't know, everyone else was doing it. I thought I should do it too. Right? It's like, you don't even know what's possible until you're with the people that are that are also have the similar values as you want the same things, you know, and then there, it helps you see what's possible, basically. Do you think it's going to change? Do you feel like community is changing? What do you see happening? Like, how are you going to continue to, to sort of evolve this and grow it?

Oh my gosh, it's easier. It's so much easier. That's why I think my program is so popular because like everything's so AI, automation, all of that. And I love that stuff. There's a place for it. I do it at certain times, but it's not taking away from the relational part of it. And it's like, we're getting back to,

like the basic human need that we have is of connecting, you know, and of, of being on this shared journey. And so it's actually making it better, especially with all the kind of like spammy, you know, kind of stuff that's out there right now. And it just takes it to a really human experience place, which is great. So you just mentioned the spammy stuff. What's happening that you feel is like the spammy stuff that people should avoid? Yeah.

Yeah, I it's like the whole like, want this me thing, you know, like, like, you know, it's just I'm just kind of like, it's I see it maybe because I'm in this world now. And I just because before my business was brick and mortar. So I'm still relatively new in the online space. So it's only been

you know, a couple of years and the first year and a half, it wasn't even on, I wasn't helping people build their audience. I was building my audience, you know, and, and community. And so I wasn't seeing it at all. But now that I'm like in this audience building mode, then you're in all those groups, you see all the stuff out there. So it's like more, you know, more and more and more of the same, same thing, right? Like I'm even going to have a masterclass and I'm like, I don't even want to call it a masterclass. Like I can't even use the word, you know, like, I

I know they've ruined it. The bro marketers and the spammy workers have ruined it for us, haven't they? Oh my gosh. So I'm like, yeah, I've got to just use the word training or something. I just needed, and I did use action class, but I don't even like that anymore. Like, I'm just going to say it's a training. So it just, I think it's just all the same stuff. And I just, I just want to be new and different and I want to see new and different. And I think that's what I'm saying is just like, I get it. Like I love modeling. I love that. But there's people that take modeling to a whole nother place of copying, you know?

And you've got to be able to like take what's working that someone's doing and then put it into your own voice, into your own way. Right. And that's what I, that's what I'm really encouraging people to do, but you don't have to like,

Think of what it is on your own. You could just have a community. You can ask them what they want. And then from there, you're able to go to, I'm calling it people generated. You're able to create people generated everything, you know, like you could title whatever training you're doing from whatever they're saying they want, you know, it's like a hundred percent, a hundred percent. So easy. Yep. That's why validating your offer is so key because,

And something that you and I touched on in a conversation before we did the podcast was all about validating your offer before you go and spend all the money or whatever and trying to build out the funnel and build out the product. Because if you do that, what's happening to people if they're kind of reversing that sort of process and they're not doing it in the right way?

Yeah, like I like using a Facebook group as a funnel, you know, because then it's just you could just be messy. So what happens is when you're creating the funnel first is you're stuck and you can't like

do anything until the funnel is done. And if you're good at funnels, then that's fine. I think do it, you know, because that maybe takes you an hour. But for someone else, like someone like me, you know, you're gonna be stuck in there for like weeks, because you're going to be figuring out what's the copy that I want to do? Or like, what's the...

Perfect opt-in. I'm the person that takes an hour with that funnel, by the way, just saying. So perfect. Yeah. And so whereas like for me, like I'd much rather now I want to use a funnel after I validated. Now funnel me up, you know, like I'm evergreen. Like, please do that. Right. But if funnel me up, I don't know if that's a thing. Well, that'll be my tagline, I guess. Funnel me up. But anyway, that's what we're going to title this podcast episode, I think, is funnel me up.

Keep from Stacey from Do The Thing. But yeah, I think, but when you're first launching something and you're still figuring it out, then like, I mean, literally I have a, I just created it like five minutes ago. Like it's a job forum and it's like first name, last name. Why do you want to join? I didn't even know the name I was going to call this training. Yeah.

And I'm like sharing it today at the launch party that I'm having for the collaboration group. And I know what that product is. I just didn't know like what all the other stuff around it. But the point is, is

It's okay to be messy when you're still figuring out like what you're doing. And, and as long as you know what you're going to deliver, like your intentions for the result are good, then what you take to get there doesn't really matter. And you know what I loved? I'm doing a challenge right now with Melissa Gilbert, Little House on the Prairie. She has a company called Modern Prairie and she got where me and Laura Carney, her

that she's an author that I partnered to do the Do The Thing bucket list challenge with in January. She saw what we were doing and we're doing a challenge for her community. And what was so cool is...

She got people to join the challenge with a job form. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, like, really, there is something to this people. You know, when you have a warm group of people that are like ready for whatever you have going, they don't care what it looks like. Right. And then once it's validated, then break it in chunks and then do the funnel and then figure out the I don't know all the words. That's the group I'm in. I was telling you about that. I think you're in that group. Yeah. That I'm like still figuring out.

what it is, but like the upsell and the downsell and blah, blah, blah, all that stuff that I don't know yet. But anyway, that's stuff I, I want to know all that stuff eventually, but I'm still figuring out what I'm doing. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I, I love how freeing it sounds. I, I don't know. I mean, I did it the other way. I did it the other, like I grew it differently and this sounds really freeing. And I think if I was to do things over, I'd be messy, but I, I,

I guess through my own personality or through anxiety or whatever it was, doing it messy felt too scary, like too scary. Yeah. Right. And I, I kind of experienced that before I had a choir I was on, I had another podcast with another person and,

And that person had no fear, right? So they could just show up two seconds before we hit record and it was like free as a bird, no problem. And me, I'm like, I'm at my desk 15 minutes before I've got everything ready. I've got questions, I've got bio, I've got it all. And such a difference between the two of us.

And I've always tried to embrace a little bit more of that, you know, being more free. And I think obviously people say, you know, done is better than perfect, which I've taken to heart. It's taken me a long time. But I think if we could encourage people to do it your way, like to be a little bit more free, a little bit more messy, and sort of just enjoy the process, it would be a lot more fun.

Totally. Oh, yeah. I'm like, here you talk. And it's so cool because like people need what you're doing right so badly. And it's so great that you're an expert at this because when they need it, you're there, you know, but there's part of me that's screaming this. So I'm just going to say it. It would be so fun just to play around with a 10 episode podcast for you where it's like acquire like the messy, you know, something like it's like a whole separate thing.

podcast we gotta talk about that yeah yeah and it's like you doing like little little one minute just like talking things like with from your phone and it's just like a 10 episode thing you know that I just think it'd be kind of cool just to mess around with it a little

That sounds fascinating. And if you dare me, I'll do it. Oh my gosh. I dare you. Done. There you go. Done. As soon as you dare me, I'm going to say yes to freaking funny. Okay. Oh my gosh. Okay. Listen to the acquire the messy podcast. Yeah. We're going to have to put out a 10. I'm going to have to put out a 10 episode messy podcast style. See what happens. Just kind of go with that. Oh my God. My anxiety just went right through the roof on that one.

Okay. We'll be fine. We'll be fine. It'll be okay. All will be well. Oh my gosh. Okay. Stacey. So tell us where people can connect with you, find you, listen to all the good stuff that you have to talk about and also your, your group.

Yes, thank you. So I'm on Instagram and I'm on YouTube. So Do The Thing Formula is where I am there and I am working on my YouTube channel is eventually going to be next. So please subscribe to that. But where I live the most is in the Do The Thing community, which is on Facebook at this moment. So Do The Thing Collaboration.

is my new group, which is why I couldn't remember the name, but do the thing collaboration.com. You can get there that way. And then I have the do the thing challenge group, which is just do the thing community.com. So. And at the time we're recording this in what a couple hours, it's going to be sort of like your kind of launch party, which is really exciting. I'm going to be there. I'm part of that group and yeah, I'm really excited for what you're doing. We got introduced by, um,

The people at Cap Show, that's how we kind of found each other, which is really cool. And I'm just excited to sort of play in your world, see what you're doing and live vicariously through you and get dared apparently to create a whole new thing. All right. My brain's already trying to figure it out and I'm trying to say, no, just don't figure it out. Like just stop trying to figure out all the ins and outs and it'll figure itself out somehow. Crap. Okay. Don't know what I signed up for people, but we'll figure it out.

Awesome. Oh my gosh. Stacey, thank you so much for being on the podcast. Really appreciate it. And we'll get everything into the show notes that you talked about so that people can find you and hear more about you. And I just want to say thanks so much. It's been really amazing getting to know you better and also just having you as a really special guest. Oh, thank you so much. This is so much fun. Yeah.

Yeah, I love it. I love this. I love this platform. I get to meet amazing people. I get to do really cool things and have good conversations. And yeah, I absolutely love it. This podcast has been since August of 2023.

And I wasn't sure if it would continue. It just wasn't 100%. But I love it. And I'm just really kind of enjoying the groove that's coming with it and the growth, which is awesome. So, yeah. And to that end, if you are listening and you like the podcast and you want to hear more, make sure that you are subscribing.

subscribing, liking, commenting, leaving a review wherever it is. This thing is everywhere. It's on YouTube. It's on all the different platforms. So go and do that and make sure that you stay tuned. I've got some great episodes coming up with some pretty cool guests and also some really cool solo episodes where I get to just kind of like spill the tea about marketing, which I love to do. So we'll talk to you all soon. Thanks so much.