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You're listening to the Savage Lovecast, Dan Savage's sex and relationship show for grown-ups. If you're under 18, get out of here, young'un. If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony, well, there's nothing you can't have on the Savage Lovecast.
According to the SF Chronicle, San Francisco's population of 20-somethings just hit a 17-year low. In the last 10 years, the SF Chronicle reports, the share of 20-somethings in San Francisco dropped from 18% of the population to just 14% of the population. The median age of people living in San Francisco keeps climbing. Mid-40s now, and if current trends continue, the
It's going to hit 50 pretty soon, which all by itself doesn't bode well for the health, vitality, and just general fuckability of San Francisco. Also doesn't bode well for the health of our democracy. Now, I'm not saying, backing up a little bit, that old people, old people don't fuck. Ahem.
But if a city doesn't want to become a retirement community where old people still fuck, they don't call the villages in Florida, the STD capital of America for nothing. But if a city doesn't want to become a retirement community, it needs young people, young adults, lots of them, young people who grew up in that city and want to stay there and young people who grew up in bumfuck red state and wanted to move to that city to live and work.
And fuck. Look, young people fuck differently. Because when young people fuck around, young people are fucking around and finding out. Finding out who they are, finding out what they want, creating...
Tribes finding their tribe and making scenes. I don't mean those messy scenes that sometimes go viral online, although they do sometimes make those. I mean cultural scenes and art scenes, political scenes. And young people all clumped up together in one place patronize small businesses. They also start and staff small businesses.
The kind of small businesses that make cities come alive. Coffee shops, bars, clubs, restaurants, galleries, bakeries, fitness studios, sex spaces. Young people in cities drive change. And cities change young people.
Cities take people from bumfuck red state and expose them to the actual human beings they were lied to about. People who aren't from here, people who aren't Christian, people who aren't white, people who aren't straight. Someone who's lived in a city, even just for a little while, is harder for political populists and demagogues to lie to and manipulate.
But unaffordability is the reason San Francisco and other cities where young people might want to live and fuck and learn and grow and change. It's the reason cities like San Francisco are graying so rapidly. The rent is still too damn high.
Look, the housing crisis, I've talked about it before on my sex show. The housing crisis is a fucking crisis. And I don't mean that, or I don't just mean that in the profanity as intensifier sense, but also in the sucking and fucking and finding out sense. We stopped letting cities grow 40 years ago. Please read Yoni Applebaum's cover story in the March, 2025 issue of the Atlantic, how progressives froze the American dream and,
And year after year, it becomes harder for young people to move to cities. To cities where the jobs are. To cities that they might love and want to stay in. To cities they might change for the good and cities that might change them for the good. Zooming way the fuck out for a second...
We have Dems right now at the national level telling us there's nothing they can do to counter Trump because they don't control anything. The House, the Senate, White House, Supreme Court all have Republican majorities. Dems locked out of power. All Dems can do right now is express concern and hold up those pathetic little paddles while Trump berates them.
But right now, Dems control the cities. Most of them, the cities anybody in their right mind would want to live in, cities like San Francisco and Portland and Los Angeles and Chicago and Seattle. And all Dems need to do in these cities is
is get the fuck out of the way. We don't need big city mayors out there building houses and apartments, emphasis on apartments with their bare hands that young people can afford to live and fuck in. They just have to get out of the way and let their cities grow again. Not just to show that Dems can govern the places Dems actually run right now,
But to protect their chances of ever governing again at the national level, of ever winning the White House again, Ezra Klein, in his podcast last week, unpacked the existential threat of it all. Democrats have a problem that runs deeper than the 2024 election. They have a problem that runs deeper than Elon Musk's assault on the government. Look at the places they govern. Strongholds like New York and Illinois and where I'm from, California.
They're losing people. In 2023, California saw a net loss of 268,000 residents. In New York, 179,000. Why are all these people leaving? In surveys, the dominant reason is simply this. The cost of living is too high. It's too expensive to buy a house. It's too expensive to get childcare. You have to live too far from your work.
And so they're going to places where all of that is cheaper. Texas, Florida, Arizona. In the American political system, to lose people is to lose power. If these trends hold, the 2030 census will shift the Electoral College sharply to the right. The states that Kamala Harris won in 2024, they'll lose about 11 House seats and Electoral College votes. The states that Trump won would gain them.
So in that electoral college, a Democrat could win every single state Harris won in 2024 and also win Michigan and Pennsylvania and Wisconsin and still lose the presidency.
There is a policy failure haunting blue states. It has become too hard to build and too expensive to live in the places where Democrats govern. The solution to housing scarcity is housing abundance. The solution to one-bedroom apartments in San Francisco costing $3,000 a month on average and one-bedroom apartments costing less than half that in Austin, Texas is to build more housing in San Francisco too.
Anyone who opposes upzoning and rezoning, anyone who opposes development in big cities, anyone who insists that limiting the supply of new housing is somehow the solution to the shortage of housing, anyone who argues that we should keep doing what we've been doing for decades, anyone who makes it harder for young people to live and work and fuck and fuck around and find out in cities like San Francisco and other big blue cities and blue states, anyone
They're making it easier for Donald Trump Jr. to win the White House in 2028 and again in 2032. We don't want that to happen. And we don't. Right now. If we don't want that to happen then, we need to build, baby, build. Right fucking now. We need to make cities fuck again.
All right, Magnum Subs, save the date. New Savage Love Live scheduled for March 19th, noon Pacific. Savage Love Live is an exclusive live show where I answer my subs questions live. Again, Savage Love Live is for Magnum Subs only. If you want to join us at the next Savage Love Live, become a Magnum Sub now at savage.love.
And Seattle, it is your last weekend to see the brand new lineup of Hump 2025 Part 1 films at On The Boards on the big screen as Hump was meant to be seen. Come celebrate Hump's 20th anniversary. Visit the Hump Museum to see important props and costumes from the films you loved so much over the first 20 years of Hump.
For trailers, tickets, and more, and to find out when Hump is coming to a city near you on the Hump 2025 Part 1 Tour, which kicks off in a couple of weeks, go to humpfilmfest.com. All right, coming up on today's show on the micro, tons of your Qs, lots of my As, and joining me on the magnum for a very special installment of What Are You Doing? Sam Lent is here to represent women that closeted by men insist don't exist. Women who wanna fuck up.
Bye guys. Sam is here to tell us what she loves about bisexual men and also to tell us why bisexual men are so hard to find. Tons of great questions on the micro, Sam on the magnum, which you can subscribe to at savage.love. All right, let's get to that first call.
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This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary refillable cleaning essentials, eliminating single-use plastics. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to blueland.com slash savage. Hey Dan, so my question is about middle ground. My partner and I have been dating for over a year, and during that time it's been pretty great.
Pretty open communication and such, but here's the thing: he doesn't eat me out. For our whole relationship, he's gone down on me a handful of times. Maybe six or seven? While I have sucked his cock just about every time we have sex. He's one of those guys who has a short refractory period, so when he says he likes me to get him off first so he can last longer later for PIV and whatnot.
When we talked about this issue the other day, he says he won't go down on me because we haven't done anal. And I know for him, this is his biggest turn on. He really likes it, but has a massive cock. I've never really dabbled in anal, but I'm trying to ease my way into it by using butt plugs. And it's fine. I'm kind of whatever about it. I'll do it for him. But he's getting frustrated because we haven't gone much farther than that in the time that we've dated. Tried PIA twice and it was a lot for me.
But it's also been frustrating me that it seems like he won't even consider my pleasure first. Foreplay always starts with me sucking his cock, and that's that. And when I ask him to go down on me, he usually says he doesn't feel like it. And honestly, it's pretty disheartening.
We have a little bit of a DS relationship, but for him, that means his needs are always met, which I am super down to do if he meets me halfway and is also aggressive around my pleasure. I've said to him that I want to be tied up and forced to come, smacked around until I'm at the point of orgasmic inevitability, but he never really instigates that. So my question is, how do we find a way to make ourselves both sexually satisfied?
This guy is not interested in dom-sub play, in kind of reciprocal, egalitarian, power exchange relationship. He's just a shitty guy shipping typical, selfish, heterosexual male behavior under the banner of DS. I don't have to go down on you because we're in a DS relationship, I'm in charge. But you've made it clear to him what a DS relationship that would excite you and that you wanted to be...
part of would look like some tying up some smacking around he can't be bothered he's only interested in the ds insofar as it
Relieves him of his responsibility as your lover to meet your reasonable needs, including going the fuck down on you at a reasonable pace. Yeah. In the context of a DS relationship, it can be hot for the top to deny in a playful way, the bottom, some of their pleasures or to demand a certain pleasure.
service or suffering, erotic suffering, mutually agreeable suffering, suffering that the bottom enjoys in exchange for what the bottom wants. But it still has to be about what the bottom wants. And that's not what's happening in this relationship however long it's been going on. You never gave us a timestamp.
You're like, we've been dating, we've been together, but I don't know how long. How long has this been going on? If it's been a few weeks of this or a couple of months of this, it might be worth pulling the plug before you get more emotionally invested. There are a lot more kinky guys out there than there are kinky women. You are...
A rare and precious gem. And you shouldn't settle for someone who's into sex and into having sex his way, but isn't into the kind of DS consensual power exchange relationship that you want to have with somebody. Fuck. Stop fucking this guy. I mean, don't fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. Colloquially, stop fucking this guy. Literally, he's not.
worth it. You say you've tried PIA a couple of times, so you're slowly, gradually working your way there. You're demonstrating to him that you will be GGG, that you will push yourself outside your comfort zone, that you will try to learn to enjoy the things that are most important to him, that he enjoys. And he is telegraphing to you. He is telling you that he is not going to do the same for you. Okay. If it's been a couple of weeks, you're
Maybe he's just a little slower to adapt and move. Maybe there's some movement you could see from him that would convince you to stay in this relationship in hopes you will get to the tying up and smacking around and point of orgasmic inevitability shit that you want to get to. But if it's been a few months and there's been no movement, he's not interested in DS. He's not interested in power exchange. He's interested in having everything in his own way,
and manipulating you and exploiting your interest in DS play to have everything his own way. Yeah. In a dom sub relationship, part of the erotic sort of idea is the top has everything is over, but that's not the reality of a DS relationship. It's not purely transactional can be affectional too, but there is an agreement to mutually pleasurable activities and the shape and contours of the
domination and submission in the context of this relationship. And that's not what you've got here. And you could find that with some other guy, a better guy, a guy who is actually interested in DS, not just a shitty selfish guy who is dom sub washing his shitty, selfish, very limited interests. He's just not interested in pleasing you. He's not interested in pleasuring you. So
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Oh, hey, Dan. I have a question that I've had for a while, but your recent caller who was a woman in a relationship with a married heterosexual or a male-female couple sort of re-brought up this question for me. This woman said that when she's fucking the other woman...
Blah, blah, blah. But then when she's having penetrative sex with the man, blah, blah, blah. And whenever I hear lesbians saying, oh, I was fucking her, sometimes it seems like maybe they were making out or doing something else. Yeah.
Sometimes it's actual penetration with dildos or vibrators. When women say they were fucking another woman, is that just sort of a catch-all, like we were fooling around? Or do they really mean fucking? I guess it could be finger-fucking. It seems like if it's...
the least descriptive way of talking about sex compared to all the others. Like if you said you were fucking a guy, then we know what you mean. Of course, my first impulse, and I think probably a lot of people out there listening, first impulse is to say, this doesn't involve you, what lesbians are doing in bed. Also, there's tons of lesbian porn available to you online.
instantaneously online right now for as long as it lasts. Rush, rush, rush to your computer and you can watch lesbians fucking in 100,000 different ways. And backing up to that this doesn't involve you,
That's scolding and I think that's actually, as my first impulse and probably other people's first impulses out there, kind of a shitty impulse that we need to walk back. It's good and it's healthy and normal for people to be curious about what other people are up to sexually. And even people who would never have sex with them might be doing sexually. It helps us better understand ourselves, I think, and see where we fit on the great spectrum.
sexual continuum, human sexual expression, to know what people, other people, including again people who aren't interested in us and would never be interested in us,
So I don't want to shame you for your healthy curiosity. And I think pretty much respectfully phrased, framed curiosity about what lesbians are getting up to. But come on, everybody uses fuck sometimes literally and sometimes figuratively. Sometimes people use fuck as the verb to mean I put, I was the penetrative person.
partner in that sexual encounter. I did the fucking, I penetrated that person. But a lot of people do use fuck, as you said, as a catch-all to mean all sorts of different sexual activities, which can include
oral sex, which can include mutual masturbation, which can include using toys or vibrators, having outer course. Fuck. We fucked. We fucked around. People use fuck in that way. I use fuck in that way. I have friends who are 100% bottoms who will say about a guy, I fucked that guy. And what they mean isn't that this one time they weren't the bottom because they're always the bottom. It means they had sex.
So, you may with somebody you're about to fuck, need to drill down on what they mean by I want to fuck you. Because if you don't want to be penetrated and that's what they mean by I want to fuck you, you might need some clarity from them. Or if you do want to be penetrated and you're hoping that's what they mean, you may also need some clarity from them. But just overhearing other people talk about their sex lives is...
Yeah, you should be able to wrap your head around the not very difficult to wrap your head around concept that people use fuck in these two different, well, we use fuck in all sorts of different ways to mean all sorts of different things. But when people are talking about sex, they can either mean we had sex. However, we defined sex, me and this other person in that moment, or they can mean penetrative sex, fucking. And to figure out what lesbians are doing, what they mean by fucking,
You could go watch some porn. You can Google it. It is not a black box. 40 years ago when I was first coming out, oh man, the questions of what do lesbians do? I used to hear that question a lot. People didn't understand what lesbians did. Now people know because people have seen it. You can see it.
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So I'm wondering if you have a rule of thumb timeline like that for the scenario you have described by saying it's not a relationship, it's a hostage situation if the person who was cheated on forever holds that over the head of the person who did the cheating. What is a good timeline for reasonable trust rebuilding and when that falls into hostage situation territory?
Obviously, if you cheated on someone and the both of you decide you want to work through it and stay together, if you were the cheater, there's going to be a period of time where you're going to be walking on eggshells, where you're living in the doghouse, where you're under a cloud of suspicion and your partner, the person to whom you made a monogamous commitment that you violated, has a right to be angry and hurt.
And you're going to have to give that some time. Maybe get your asses into couples counseling and work through it together. But there needs to be some light at the end of the tunnel for it to be worth it to stick around, to continue to work on the relationship. Because the trap you don't want to fall into is,
And this sometimes happens where, you know, control and power can come in many forms in a relationship. And to be perpetually the one who is victimized and for one person to feel like they are never in a position to make demands or have needs themselves because you're always having to make up this unforgivable betrayal or sin situation.
There's no healthy relationship there. Like the person who was cheated on, why do you want to stay in this relationship? Because you want, you love this person and your love for them transcends this betrayal? Or do you want to keep them close at hand so that you can easily punch them in the face for the rest of their lives for hurting you in this way? And if it's the latter, then
You should just end the relationship. That's not going to be a good or healthy relationship for either party. But so attractive is having the upper hand, is having control in a relationship, in a shitty, dysfunctional, unhealthy, toxic relationship that people will stay in a relationship that makes them miserable because having this kind of control and power over someone else, I guess, is a compensation for
That exacting revenge for 30, 40 fucking years is so attractive to some people that they will stay with someone that they loathe, that they don't trust or stay with somebody and get along most of the time, but feel like they always have this card they can play. That if there's any sort of conflict, this just gets thrown on the table and the other person isn't allowed to continue to advocate for their position, whatever it is, even if it's completely unrelated to the sexual relationship that
Or some worry, some behavior from the cheater that is legitimately concerning if it has been misunderstood or mistaken could be then legitimately concerning. Yeah, that's not going to work. Okay, I'm not answering your question. How long should you wait? Well, the thing about lights at the end of the tunnel is they get bigger, right? If the light at the end of the tunnel never gets any bigger, you're not moving through the tunnel and it's never going to get any better. Right?
And yeah, you can't live for 40 years walking on eggshells. You can't live for 40 years in the doghouse. Still not answering your question. How long should you give it? Well, it depends. You were ready to say I love you and they're not ready to say I love you. How long should you give that? You're ready to move in. They're not ready to move in together. How long should you give that? You're ready to have kids or you want to have kids and they're not sure how long do you give that? That's subjective and everybody has to make their own call.
You can't, I don't think, if I had to put a number on it, I think a year? If the light at the end of the tunnel hasn't gotten any bigger in a year? If you're constantly in trouble as the person who cheated, and I'm just going to assume, Caller, you're the person who cheated. You're constantly still in trouble if no progress has been made? If your partner's anger and hurt is just as deeply felt a year after cheating?
the confession or exposure of the affair and the getting your asses into couples counseling together, if there's been no progress, I think you should go. I think you should do each other the favor of ending the relationship. But again, you know, of course the cheater is always the bad guy. The cheater is always the person who done wrong. The cheater is always the villain in the story, but I've seen it play out where the person who got cheated on seized the cheating and
and basically use it as a stick to beat the cheater emotionally for the rest of their lives. And at some point, as those beatings continue, the cheated on can become the villain in that story. They may not be perceived to be the villain by anybody outside that relationship, but man, there's something villainous about telling someone, I forgive you and I'm going to take you back, and then never forgiving them. Taking them back only so you can punish them eternally
Or this thing that you said you would forgive them for, that you needed to agree to forgive them for, to take them back at all. So six months, light's gotten no bigger. Maybe you stick around another six months. You're not making your way through the tunnel. Six months later, after a year, you should go.
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Hi Dan, I'm a 32 year old cis bisexual woman living in the UK and I have a question about how to have a conversation with a friend who has crossed a sexual boundary. I have a very close friend of mine who does a lot of sex work on the
She has an OnlyFans account and does camming from time to time. And she's very open about her sexuality. And it's one thing that I really do admire about her. However, recently, I stumbled across her Instagram account for her OnlyFans account.
and found some content that she had clearly filmed at my house when she's been staying over.
I feel a little bit uncomfortable about this, mostly because she didn't speak to me about it beforehand. So I didn't have the opportunity to say whether I felt okay with it or not. I understand that when you invite someone into your house to sleep over, you can't really choose what they decide to do. But the fact that she's posted this online and it's clearly identifiable that this is my house, I feel a bit weird about it. I'm just wondering if you have any advice on that.
how to confront her about this or to how to have a conversation or whether I should just let it go and just chalk it up to experience. Okay. So if a friend came and stayed at your place and masturbated, that would be all right. If a friend came and stayed at your place and they masturbated and they
took a video and they sent it to a friend, a lover, someone they were flirting with, probably be all right. Your friend came and stayed at your house and you were away and they picked somebody else up, got on the apps, had a hookup in your house, kind of sort of understand that that's a possibility. You would hope your friend would vet that person and exercise good judgment and not wander away and let that person rifle through your files and find your social security card.
Friend comes and somebody else comes over and they hook up while you're away and they film it and they send that to five friends. Probably. All right. You wouldn't even need to know about it. Friend comes and stays at your place, does nothing sexual, takes pictures of themselves in your apartment, in your house, post those to their non-pornographic Instagram, obviously. Okay. So the point at which this seems to become not okay is when your friend shot these videos in your house and
Your house, which was clearly identifiable as your house, at least to you. How many other people out there know exactly what your house looks like?
And pushed it out onto OnlyFans, pushed it out onto a porn content platform with a potentially unlimited audience. Didn't just share a couple of videos or pics with a friend where they could see that they were not at their house, that they were at somebody else's house. Maybe it was a mutual friend. They could tell that they were at your house. But this just...
Infinite potential and eternal because once those videos are out there, they're out there forever audience and does your discomfort with that speak to a kind of porn phobia or sex phobia? I don't know. Maybe, maybe, but I'm projecting myself into your experience and I might be uncomfortable with it too.
Not necessarily because of the infinite potential audience or other people are really that fascinated by my living room sofa or what might happen on it when I'm home or not home, but because of the failure of my friend to anticipate that I might have a feeling about this and be considerate and solicitous and come to me and say, you know, I do this only fans content creation. I have to feed that beast constantly. Is it going to be a problem if, if,
in your guest room or on your library sofa, I film a brief clip because my followers expect a certain amount of content at a certain clip, at a certain pace. Would that be all right? And your friend's failure to take into consideration that you might have feelings about this. Well, what does that tell you? That tells you your friend is not a very considerate person. That tells you your friend didn't factor in to her decision about what she could or couldn't do or
while staying with you, the feelings you might have about the things she might do or might share with the potentially infinite audience of masturbating weirdos on the internet. And that may make you feel unsafe with her. So maybe, you know, as a friend, as an intimate, as somebody you invite into your space to stay with you or to stay in your apartment or your house when you're not there. And so maybe that's where you address it. Like, look,
I'm having feelings about this and I can't quite understand why I have a problem with it. Cause if you sent that to like one person or five people, I probably would never have known. Cause I wouldn't have seen it on your Insta, but yeah,
It also wouldn't have had the reach this potentially has. And I guess I'm just a little uncomfortable about the reach, but I feel like you should have asked me. And then maybe if I had the moment to think through it and for us to talk about it together, I would have been okay with it or comfortable with it. But you didn't ask me and I'm always going to be a little not okay about the failure to ask me how I might feel about this. And then you can talk about your feelings and not talk about what she does for a living and where she does that for a living.
But yeah, when somebody comes to stay, you can't choose what they decide to do in your guest room or in your entire place while you're gone. But they're not allowed to smear feces on the walls. They're not allowed to have a raging house party with a foam machine. And any idiot would know not to have a raging house party with a foam machine and destroy your personal belongings and track a million strangers through your house. You wouldn't have to say that to them if they were a reasonable person.
And seems to me if somebody is a porn content creator, they should be allowed to create porn content. And everybody who's a porn content creator does now create porn content wherever they go. They only need their phones to do it. They should be allowed to do that wherever they care to. But if they're going to do it in someone else's house, I do think they need to check with that person first about whether they're comfortable with that because they
It is a virtual way of inviting a crowd of strangers into your home. And just like you wouldn't have that raging house party while your friend was away and you were house sitting or allowed to stay there for a few days, you wouldn't have that raging party and invite a million strangers over to hang out and party. Inviting a million strangers in, even if it's just eyeballs and it's all mediated by the internet and technology, I can see why you would feel uncomfortable with that.
And your friend should have had the sense to ask you first. All right, time for listener feedback. First up, some of the comments left on last week's show in the very lively comment threads at savage.love. Says David Adler, I heard Dan falling down the gooning conspiracy theory rabbit hole. And like the Bugs Bunny I am, I'm going to hand him an anvil disguised as a parachute.
Step family porn. Like Dan, I've never seen the point, but it all makes sense now. The perfect fantasy girl for the unfuckable hate nerd is the woman he doesn't have to leave the house to get. She's right there walking past his bedroom door in her underpants. It is the fantasy of the sexual partner who is available with none of that scary human interaction necessary to actually go and get her.
Says Goon Bader, since every conversation you've had on the show so far about gooning Dan has fixated on the excessive porn consumption, which is just one aspect, and you chose once again to have someone on who is not a part of this kink community define and mischaracterize it, let me, Goon Bader, attempt to clearly define gooners gooning and give some good gooning FAQ.
Alright, Goonbader's post is long and informative. If you think the conversation around here about gooning has left something to be desired or something to be edged about for hours and hours and hours, you'll want to go read Goonbader's entire post in the comment thread on last week's show.
And finally, says superstar commenter Bye Dan Fan, Thank you, Dan, for mentioning that some of the gay men at the gay bars hitting on the trans caller might in fact be Bye or Pan and attracted to her gender-bending presentation.
And those men might continue to be attracted to her as she becomes more feminine appearing. So she could ask these guys, are you gay or bi before proceeding? But it's a good point indeed that she can have short-term relationships with men who see her, for now, as a man.
The caller herself, the trans woman who's getting hit on by gay men in gay bars and was a little confused about what that meant or what she should do, named Jacqueline, jumped into the comment thread on last week's show responding to By Dan fans and others. We love it when the callers jump into the comment threads. Go check out what Jacqueline had to say for herself in the comment thread on last week's show. All right, for more listener comments, dive into the comments section at savage.love. And for longer responses to listener comments,
From me, sometimes thoughtful responses, sometimes glib ones. Be sure to check out Struggle Session. Goes up almost every Thursday at savage.love. And now, everybody's favorite part of the show, the part of the show where I shut my big gay mouth and my listeners get the last word. Hi, Dan. I am calling in with sleeping advice for the triad calling in on episode 957. Two things. One,
If you are the person that is a furnace, you should not be in the middle. Whoever sleeps the coldest should be middle spoon and they get to experience the warmth of being surrounded by two people. You're on the side.
Two, the two people who sleep on either side of the bed each get their own blanket. The person that's in the middle can choose to have one of the blankets cover them, both of the blankets cover them, or when they're really warm, none at all. This also means that if you're in the middle and you're trying to get up in the middle of the night, you don't have to extricate yourself from under a blanket that's just all the way across you. You can just remove your end of both blankets. Hope this helps.
Hi, this is a response call in episode 957 for the person who didn't resonate with the term bisexual, but pansexual felt too complicated. I went through the same thing and I've landed on identifying as queer. You know, it's kind of an umbrella term and by definition, it's all inclusive of
everyone in the LGBTQIA plus community who I am all potentially attracted to, depending on the person. So that's what really worked for me. And maybe that will work for you too. So I was just listening to your opening about the New York Times article, how Gen Z and Gen L are having sex because they want safety. And
I just want to put it out there for you that the kids aren't cowards. They're injured. I mean, this is the school shooter generation. This is the generation that went through the pandemic and their formative sexual identity years, learning how to get along with people years. These are the kids that have had to deal with Donald Trump twice when they haven't had to deal with much of anything else. They're...
for safety, emotional and physical safety, is because they haven't had much. They need it to heal. It's exotic for them. And I think, as someone who's got an old-ass lifetime of all sorts of recovery under me, that they'll probably get more adventurous as they get older, and that they might well be people in their 50s one day having great, wild sex out there once they
they get a chance to experience a little safety and security and emotional healing. And we're
And we're going to leave it there. Got a question for me or a comment? Go to savage.love slash ask Dan to record your question or your comment directly onto our website. Or you can make a voice memo on your very own phone and email us your question or your comment by sending it to Q at savage.love. Or you can call us at 206-302-2064 and leave us a message and our answers.
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