cover of episode vol.02  在无数次沟通却难以触达之后 & 让爱神再次降临 | 和小马聊

vol.02 在无数次沟通却难以触达之后 & 让爱神再次降临 | 和小马聊

2025/1/11
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小马
高尔基
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高尔基:我分享了与好友小马关于她2024年经历的对话,展现了她走出产后抑郁的心路历程。这并非悲伤的故事,而是真实的人类体验,由无数生活细节编织而成,如同平静海面下的波涛汹涌。我希望这段分享能给听众带来安慰。 我与小马相识于2012年,十年来我一直在做内容创作,今年在做播客的过程中,我逐渐接受并拥抱自己的情绪和感受。我意识到表达情绪和感受很重要,这些看似微不足道的东西,其实蕴含着生活答案和解决困顿的方法。人与人之间的沟通交流,就像动物之间的梳毛行为,看似无聊的废话,能够拉近彼此距离,带来温暖和快乐。刻板印象会限制我们对人的认识,打破刻板印象,才能真正触达彼此。 我观察到,在亲密关系中,女性朋友对情感和情绪价值的渴求并不一定很高,这让我对人际关系有了新的理解。接受感情是变化的、流动的,这是一种新的希望和开始。 小马:产后情绪得不到重视,表达后没有正面反馈,让我感到无力,最终选择不再表达。产后抑郁让我经历了身体、心理和环境的巨大变化,无人感同身受,导致我情绪崩溃,不知为何哭泣。伴侣无法理解我的困境,无法提供有效的支持,我只能自己寻找解决方案。 通过瑜伽普拉提等方式自我疗愈,并逐渐想清楚了很多事情,2025年将专注于自我成长和爱自己。产后生活中的诸多细节累积成压垮我的最后一根稻草,导致我感到持续的失落和孤独。难以表达这种持续的孤独感和无力感,这种感觉只有自己能体会。虽然没有具体的大问题,但潜意识里的负面情绪影响着我的生活,我需要变得强大和独立。 十年来一直很努力,今年在思想上有了很大的转变,对未来的目标更加清晰。在对2024年的复盘中,将生宝宝这件事加入成就,这是一个有意思的点。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

What was the main theme of the conversation between Gao Erji and Xiao Ma?

The main theme of the conversation was Xiao Ma's journey through postpartum depression and her emotional and psychological struggles over the past year. The discussion delved into her feelings of isolation, the changes in her relationship with her husband, and her process of self-discovery and emotional healing.

Why did Xiao Ma feel that her emotions were not being acknowledged?

Xiao Ma felt her emotions were not acknowledged because when she expressed them, she often received no meaningful feedback or understanding from those around her, particularly her husband. This lack of response made her feel like her expressions were futile, leading her to stop sharing her feelings.

What changes did Xiao Ma experience after becoming a mother?

After becoming a mother, Xiao Ma experienced significant changes including physical and psychological adjustments, a shift from a couple's life to a family life involving her in-laws, and a decrease in the quality of her relationship with her husband. She also felt a loss of freedom and struggled with the new responsibilities of motherhood.

How did Xiao Ma describe her relationship with her husband post-childbirth?

Xiao Ma described her relationship with her husband as having deteriorated post-childbirth. She noted a decrease in the small, caring gestures that used to signify their bond, such as him not holding her hand as often or not accompanying her on small errands, which made her feel neglected and lonely.

What realization did Xiao Ma come to about her emotional needs?

Xiao Ma realized that she needed to prioritize her own emotional and physical well-being. She decided to focus on self-care, expressing her needs more clearly, and setting personal goals like learning to swim, which she saw as steps towards becoming stronger and more independent.

What did Gao Erji learn from her conversation with Xiao Ma?

Gao Erji learned about the importance of acknowledging and embracing one's emotions and the changes in relationships over time. She recognized the value of open communication and the need to break down stereotypes to truly understand and connect with others. This conversation reinforced her belief in the importance of emotional honesty and self-acceptance.

Shownotes Transcript

发生在无数次沟通都难以触达之后。

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00:09  Intro

PART 01 

02:18 「处境」

08:27  凝视深渊

17:27  真正的关于「自己」 

PART 02

23:20  时间 - 耐心 - 确定性

24:58 情绪和感受,作为困顿时刻的解题思路和答案。

27:40  彼此间无聊的废话为什么重要?—— 爱欲的延伸。

28:55  解除「刻板印象」才能真正的触达。  

30:00  情感是流动的、变化和成长的,接受这一点,是一种松绑。

31:17  终将:爱神再次降临。(“只是爱就完全可以”) 

31:33  Outro 

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电影《Hors-saison(法国 / 2023)》插曲 

《只是爱就完全可以》- 文兆杰 - 专辑:《爱神》/ 2022

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