#416 How I Started to Speak English Naturally (in Any Situation) — 3 Things I Did
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Ah yeah, real lifers, global citizens. This is Izzy from RealLife English, where it is our mission to guide you beyond the classroom to speak English confidently and naturally, to connect to the world and to actually use your English as a doorway to your best life.

Hey Ksenia, what's going on? So today we're going to be talking all about how to develop a real life fluency. How would you explain this to our viewers and listeners? Yeah, that's what I didn't have after I graduated school. Real life fluency is something that you don't only use in your classroom.

on your English lessons, yeah? It's something that you would actually use in the real life, in your real conversations. It's not like situation of fluency where maybe in the classroom, as you're saying, or speaking with a friend, you can, you're fluent, you can say like everything you want to say, but then when it's time to actually go out there and speak with real people in real life situations,

you get stuck, right? Keep translating in your head. So when you speak naturally, when you are able to understand and be understood by anyone in any situation, that's real-life fluency, right? So by the end of this lesson, you have learned three things that Xenia and I have done and still do to this day to actually be able to speak English naturally in any situation. The first thing is we're going to be showing you how to use scripts to conduct conversations, meaningful conversations.

We're also going to show you how to never get stuck when you're speaking and always find another way to say what you want to say, you know, to not only have just one expression to say what you're thinking. And at the end, we're going to teach you how to actually learn, how to actually acquire all these words and expressions to put in your arsenal of vocabulary. Wow, nice. What a word you just used. What is an arsenal? Yeah, I'm using this expression figuratively here, not literally.

Because literally, it's the collective of weapons, like firearms and different weapons. So in this case, it's just like your tools, your tool belt, your toolkit of words and expressions. So you can...

Again, never get stuck. Because if we only know one way of saying something and you forget, for any reason we just forget that word, we're going to get stuck. We're going to freeze. So in English, when talking about English, those are like phrasal verbs or idioms or something like...

language things that you can use in your conversations, right? Exactly. Those building blocks of fluency. So before we get started, let me just tell you that if your goal is to become a confident, natural English speaker, you should subscribe to this channel and also hit the bell down below so you don't miss any of our new lessons.

So Ksenia, I want to get started with this lesson with the first segment that is all about how to use scripts to conduct conversations more easily, how to practice with scripts. And I know you brought us a couple different topics

versions here, a couple of different scripts for us to practice with. What is that first one that you have brought us? And actually, even before that, let me ask you, how do you use a script? I mean, what is a script in this context? Yeah, I think that's an important thing to do first to define what script is.

is because maybe you have other like different understanding of that. Imagine you are preparing for a job interview, right? And you just want to make some bullet points what you want to talk about highlighting your strengths, right? Or if we're talking about, let's say a play, a theatrical play, then you'll have like a

script like a complete transcript of the whole play with the words of all the speakers yeah that's the traditional understanding of what script is so why do you want to use a script in your conversations first of all um

That's really helpful for people who feel stuck, who don't feel confident speaking English. That's what they can do in preparation to having real conversations. So you would be sitting at home in your comfortable environment. You would have some lines or some questions you want to ask, or you imagine you can be asked and you'll be thinking about some answers you're going to give to this question, right? So that's what it is about. Just like,

imagining or acting out a real life situation, but in preparation to it. So you kind of imagine a real life situation, right? And I brought today examples of two real life situations that can happen, two scripts for you guys. And I hope you'll find them very helpful in your preparation for real life conversations.

So, Ksenia, I noticed you used an interesting phrase there. At least the way you spoke it, the way you said it sounded interesting to me. You said, what it is about.

Yeah. What is that? What did you say there? That's a very convenient way to say that, actually, because both words, they end with a T sound, what it is. Yeah. And when they are followed by the vowel, American D sound happens to them, right? American flap team. So basically, T turns into a D sound, what it is, what it is, what it is. And guys, you can actually try and repeat it after me. What it is, what it is about.

Nice. Yeah, connected speech is a common feature of English. You can see it in all accents. And it's really great to learn it so it can sound more natural too. We're talking about having real life fluency. And I think the way you sound, it has a lot to do with that too. And different phrasal verbs, collocations, they always come or they usually come with connected speech because, again, it's a more convenient way of pronouncing these words.

So let's get started with the first script. What did you bring? Okay, yeah. So that was a real life situation that happened to me. I just came back from my trip to Denmark and I took a walking tour. And this guide, he recommended that after this two and a half tour on foot, you know, we were walking in the downtown area in Copenhagen. He said, guys, there is this

very authentic food stand selling hot dogs, Danish hot dogs. You gotta try them. And of course, I really wanted to try them. So I went to order hot dog and I was using English there. So I thought that we could act it out together with you. And guys, I just wanted to tell you that you could actually...

Use the same script here because on the app you get the transcript so you can pause and read the sentences, questions and answers. But when you want to create your own script for your own situation, maybe you want to go to a fancy restaurant, not to buy hot dog at a food stand. So basically try to learn some of the vocabulary. So maybe we'll start from some of the vocabulary here.

Right? For example, easy. When you want something not sweet, how do you say that?

What is the word for not sweet? Savory. Exactly, that's savory. Yeah. So you want to learn those words which define the taste, like sweet, spicy, savory, right? Then there was another interesting thing, on the side. Do you know what on the side means when you order at the restaurant? Yeah, because you can order something and ask for an additional topping or something extra.

And if you don't say that you want it on the side, they'll mix it with the thing itself, right? It's also like it's about salad or something to the main course, which goes on this side to the main course. So it's also maybe something about salads. But you also use another word like topping or it's topped with.

It's basically when they use all those sauces. So maybe you want to learn some names of the sauces like mayonnaise or mustard, right? Mustard is that spicy sauce. So something like that. That's...

very good advice just to review some vocabulary, food-related vocabulary. Do you want to start with the script? I would ask you to act like a vendor. That's another piece of vocabulary here. Vendor is a street seller, right? All right. So I'm the vendor. And let's imagine that we are at a park for a better immersion experience. So here we go. Hi there. What can I get for you today? Hey, hello. I would like to try your hot dog.

Would you like the classic hot dog or one of our special ones? We have beef, chicken and even a vegetarian option. I don't know, which one is the most popular? Well, I gotta say the most popular choice that our customers go with is the spicy beef roasted hot dog. It's a long beef sausage served in a toasted bun topped with pickles and onions. Oh, I don't really like spicy food.

No problem. We also have a mild beef option and you could go for the classic chicken hot dog. Would you prefer one of these? Oh, yeah, I'll go with the classic one. By the way, Izzy, just like we used in this script, the phrasal verbs to go for and go with, I just wanted to make a quick comment on that. So basically, they mean the same thing, like to make your choice. It's just like when we're talking about a broader choice, like focusing on your

making a decision. So you would want to use go for. And in these situations, when you already like gave me some options and when I'm choosing among those options, I would use the phrasal verb to go with. So I'll go with the classic one. If you notice, I use this one. Yeah. So one thing that you said before that I thought was nice is about the importance of learning the different vocabulary. For example, the toppings.

So say you want to order, you don't need to start speaking immediately when you go, you know, talk to a person. You can look at the menu and see exactly what you want to order, you know, learn the vocabulary that's there, and then you start speaking. You know what I thought about that? Actually, I missed an opportunity to ask several questions because I did exactly what you just did. I came, I learned the menu, and I already knew what I wanted to order. So I basically came up and that dialogue happened. But I could ask, what is this? What is that? Because they had some sauce.

I didn't know what that sauce was, but I was okay with trying anything because I wanted to immerse myself in the culture and to just enjoy the taste of the hot dog, no matter the sauce. But I just realized that I could challenge my own

vendors English and trying to ask what is this sauce made of, right? So, and that's the challenge for our students. If you go traveling and you use your English to order food, experiment. Think

of as many questions you can ask about this product or this thing you're ordering, right? That would be so much fun. You could take it as a game. And by the way, just a small comment. You said before that we're using the scripts ourselves. I always have a script like a mental script. I always think of what I want to say like in my mind before I actually say that. Because again, this is not a very common situation for me. I live in Ukraine.

I order my food in Ukrainian. I don't travel that much, especially now. So again, that situation is very rare for me. So I was...

a mental script in my mind before actually ordering a hot dog. Yeah, I think that's it. Like you want to know what are the different situations and practice them. And that helps you just gain that natural fluency. Now that reminds me of the other script that you told me that you prepared, which is all about asking how the other person weekend went. And this is more simple. I think it can be used more casually. And for this one, I can see here that we only have some bullet points, right?

It's not exactly like all scripted out word by word, but this is more simple and it's shorter. Guys, you may think that, oh, talking about the weekend may be so easy, right? But that's the thing. Sometimes students get stuck really on such easy things as talking about weekend. So you always need that practice. So let's practice together. Hey, Ksenia, how's it going? How was your weekend?

Oh, hi, Izzy. You know, my Saturday was actually really packed. I had to run some errands, so I was catching up on things I didn't have time for during the week. But I managed to unwind during Sunday. How was your weekend? My weekend, I think it was similar in the sense that on Saturday, I also used that for, you know, doing chores and just taking care of

things at home and on a Sunday I actually went to a museum here in my city of Hisufi. It's actually a museum that's known worldwide because it's a very large collection of medieval armors and weapons and stuff and it's this castle that this guy built this millionaire guy. So nice.

Nice. You said medieval, and it reminded me that on Sunday, we actually watched a movie, a family movie, and it was set in medieval times. It was actually a modern take on Jumanji, classic Jumanji movie from the 90s. Like they found themselves in a game. So from modern times, they somehow, you know,

went to medieval times. Alright, and then I think that's already, you can see how easily you can get into a conversation just by asking the right question. I had another question here prepared as part of the script, but I don't even need to use here to make this point that a very good question can really do wonders for you.

I mean, other questions that you could ask would be like, do you always do that on weekends? Or you just take a keyword that the other person said and you ask about that, you know, and investigate that. So Ksenia actually did that. Yeah. It's medieval. Yeah. Right. And that's a very good point, Izzy, you're making here because like when you're preparing to have a conversation, let's say you want to talk about your weekend with someone, you

You can have like a list of questions, but if you start asking each question on your list, the conversation will turn into an interview and you don't want an interview, right? So that's a very good piece of advice you just gave. Just be an active listener and try to be curious. Then the information that you get, you'll pick that keyword, just like you said, and you'll continue from there. You'll pick up from there and conversation will flow.

By the way, you used some nice words there in your explanation of your weekend. I think you said that on Sunday you took the day for unwinding. What is that? To unwind is to relax, to chill out, to hang out at home.

The opposite would be, you know, what I thought about, like, I know this idiom. Recently, I've read the origin of it because I was curious, oh my God, why it's called like that. So when your wicked is very active, you go like on partying, dancing, drinking, it means like it does mean the idiom for that is to paint the town red. Have you ever heard this idiom?

I've heard before. I've never used it. Like it's not really a collocation that I use, but yeah, which is exactly that, like to party and just to really take advantage of your weekend too. So yeah, we're using all these different words and expressions here. And for all of you guys watching and listening to us, if you don't want to miss, uh,

Any of these expressions, just make sure to download the RealLife app because we give you vocabulary practice and vocabulary flashcards. So you can learn and never forget these. And just click the link in the description below or look for RealLife English on your favorite app store to download it right now. So in this lesson, Xenia and I have been using all this different advanced vocabulary. And I'm curious to know if you remember the meaning of the word unwind, the verb to unwind.

Do you feel like you know what it is? Or maybe you sort of know the meaning? Or maybe you just don't remember? How about the word savory? Do you know what it means? Or you sort of know it? Or maybe you just don't remember at all?

Alright, so what I'm doing here is testing your ability to internalize vocabulary. And this exercise that we just did is exactly like flashcards work, which learners use to learn new words. Now, what I find really great about our lessons when you watch them on the real life app is that the app automatically saves all these advanced words and expressions that Xenia and I have been using so you can practice, learn, and never forget them.

In fact, I have a message here from our learner of the week. Her name is Marta Osorio and she left us a five-star review on Google Play and also a message that goes like this. I love this app. It's very useful and I've learned a lot of vocabulary, especially with spaced repetition. I don't miss a single podcast. Thank you very much.

Ah yeah, Marta. So if you guys out there, if you want to remember all the words you want to use in real conversations, you know, and stop translating your head, you should do it just like Marta and download the RealLife app. You can click the link in the description below for a shortcut, or you can simply search for RealLife English on Google Play or the App Store. And this really is the best way for you to learn with this lesson and all of our other lessons. So I'll see you there. And ah yeah.

So I want to continue, Xena here, with the word play. And now talk about how to never get stuck and how to always have another way to say what you want to say, even if you forget the word you want to use. And we do that by paraphrasing. So I prepared a game for us to play. On the one hand, I love playing games. On the other hand, I play them so rarely that I always feel nervous. That's okay. I think this game, what's fun about it is that...

It's a great game for learning. So even if you don't know, it's nice because at the end you learn. So you don't lose, you learn. But guys, please play with me. Help me out. I hope I'll get the energy and get those hints you're screaming out to me from your screens. Okay, so for this game, I'm going to give you... First, I'm going to give you phrasal verbs, one at a time, and give you 30 seconds to...

remember and tell us as many alternatives for that phrasal verb that you can. Let's get started. The first one is give up. So I'm going to do a countdown and you're going to have 30 seconds to give us as many synonyms as you can. So three, two, one, go. Okay, so give up in the meaning of stopping doing something. It's just stop, quit, go cold turkey. Okay.

So give up in the meaning of like be defeated. So to surrender, give up. I don't know, give in is slightly similar to give up, like a small nuance here.

And time. Okay. Nice. Give in. How would you... These are similar, but they're slightly different. What's the difference? That's actually not very easy to explain, but I try to illustrate it with examples. So imagine give up is like you just like really stop doing that. So you make a decision to stop. No more.

But give in is something that you can't resist. So, for example, I'm on a diet, but here I see this beautiful tasty pie and it smells so good and I just can't resist. I give in and I take a piece.

Yeah, exactly. You're stopping resisting and that makes sense. All right, so let's move on to the next one. This one is break down, the phrasal verb to break down. And there's different meanings here that you can think of. And it's okay if you give us alternatives, synonyms, considering all these different meanings. So...

Three, two, one, go. That's a tough one. I don't know, like to break down, what I can think of is I'm breaking down the sentence. It's like I dissect the meaning of this sentence. To break down, just to break. I don't know, break down. To collapse, maybe? Break down. And honestly, I can see this countdown approaching zero. I can't think of anything else. Break down. Break down.

All right. Time. So yeah, I think if you think of a specific meaning like to dissect, there's other verbs that come to mind, at least for me, like explain, deconstruct. Sounds beautiful. Deconstruct, analyze, clarify. But then there's the other meaning you said, which is what was that?

Isn't the name used? To collapse, maybe break down. It's like when it breaks down, it collapses, it breaks. Now this is interesting because I think the two meanings, they have a connection where one is more figurative. There's even this verb like to unpack. To unpack a concept or an idea, you are deconstructing it, you are maybe breaking it down into little pieces, right? To actually make it more clear. So they have this connection. I find it really nice.

Yeah. All right. So let me give you another phrasal verb to put off. To put off. So, yeah. Let me do the countdown. Three, two, one, go. Okay. So when you're putting something off, you're postponing it. You are rescheduling it. You're moving it forward. Put off. You delay it. Then you procrastinate. Okay.

um slow down things i don't know how many mm-hmm and time now let's talk about one of the words you used there i think you said push forward i've heard people say that uh but i think more often what i hear is push back now this is maybe counter intuitive counter intuitive for learners because like uh back forward but i think it's back in the sense that you're

Pushing it away, you know, so it's later. I'm still very confused in those expressions, to be honest. That's why, honestly, I'm not using them because they are counterintuitive for me. So I would say reschedule or like change the time or something like that. Postpone, delay. I think all those words you use are really nice. So yeah, this is the power of phrasal verbs, but also synonyms. If you learn different ways to express yourself, then later, if you forget one word, you can use another one.

And even you can use different phrases that are not exactly a single word to express yourself, as long as you're just able to naturally flow like water. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly why we wanted to play this game and to show you guys this example, because if you don't remember the word, just don't let it stop you. Just use paraphrasing, use synonyms like...

That's the natural conversation. I think it happens in our native tongues as well, in our native languages. All right, Xenia. So for our final challenge here, I have a full sentence. So not just a phrasal verb, but a full sentence. And you can really play with this. You can change the order of the words and everything. So here's the sentence. He hit the nail on the head with his analysis. So are you ready?

Three, two, one, go. I want to use Chad to help me out here, but I think let's focus on this idiom using this sentence, hit the nail on its head, which means to be very precise. So his analysis was very precise. His analysis was spot on. He did a very thorough analysis. Okay. It was a flawless analysis.

Nice, yeah. I mean, these are slightly different, but you're saying the same thing or practically the same thing, right? I just don't know how to change the word analysis. I think that's okay. Maybe report. Calculations, report. We don't know, right? Yeah. It depends on what the actual analysis is. But that's really great. I think the expression hit the nail on the head is already a more advanced one. So if you don't know what that is, maybe you'd struggle with this game here. But it's what Cassandra was saying. So...

When you are spot on or when you do it with accuracy, you say the thing exactly as it is, like you're hitting the nail on the head. Other ways to say that I think could be right on target. You know, he was right on target, captured the essence. That's a nice collocation. He was able to capture the essence.

Nailed it. That's actually probably where the expression nailed it comes from. Yeah, maybe. Nailed it. Anyway, so this is a lot of fun because I think just by playing the synonyms game, you can play this with friends too, in your own language even. It gives you that mastery of a vocabulary that has everything to do with real-life fluency.

All right, Xenia, so for this last part of this lesson, I want to show, I thought about showing learners how to actually acquire a new vocabulary in a way that's real life too, you know, because

it doesn't work if we're just like trying to memorize a list of words a list of vocabulary you actually need to be living your english and then activating all this these words and expressions so i found a clip that i thought was just packed with really useful real life vocabulary do you want to check that out yeah i really want it let's watch it i have a dear dear friend who's going through a very hard time and she was telling about this awful time she went through

And I wanted to be sympathetic, but at the same time I was really pissed off that she didn't call me. And I was like, "I'm here, I love you, I support you, you're always there for me, why wouldn't you let me be there for you? How selfish are you? Like, you wouldn't let me be there for you." She says to me, "I did, I reached out to you a number of times." And I look at my phone, like the text, she goes, "Wanna come over?" I'm like, "How the hell do I know that that's a cry for help versus every other time you ask me over, which sounds exactly the same?"

And so she read an article that says that when somebody's struggling, all they need is eight minutes of help or support from a friend to get them back on track. And so we came up with a code. We write to each other, do you have eight minutes? It means I need you.

And anybody can step out of a meeting for eight minutes to be there for a friend. Such a nice clip. It's short, but full of vocabulary and connected speech. Wow. I really like taking videos to learn some new vocabulary. Yeah. This was Simon Sinek, by the way, if you guys don't know. And Simon, he is really great because he talks about leadership and stuff that would be interesting for companies and professionals to learn. But also, I think for individuals, he talks a lot about

purpose, friendships, connection. And the things he's talking about is really, I think is really special. So just to summarize what he was explaining here, he was talking about something that a friend and him came up with an idea to be there for each other, to really support each other in tough times.

let's start breaking down the vocabulary here breaking down right the vocabulary so going through is a nice collocation there what does that mean it's it's more basic level i would say but still it's interesting to know that that is a common collocation right going through what does it mean yeah when you go through something you live through this you experience that right by the way is it just a very small comment on what you just did you summarized i think i'll recommend um our students

That they do the same. Whenever you guys watch a video with a learning purpose, first you should stop and just say out loud what you just heard, what it was about. Right? That's such a great thing to do. So he was saying that his friend was going through a very hard time and he wanted to be sympathetic. Simon did. So what is that, to be sympathetic? When you are sympathetic, you show care and...

Try to understand another person. You know, there is an interesting expression to put yourself in somebody's shoes.

Yeah, that's being sympathetic, trying to care. Yeah, to have sympathy. Now, he said that when he found out that she was going through a tough time and she hadn't told him about it, he got pissed off. He got really pissed off that she didn't call him. What does that mean to get pissed off about something? That's a very casual way to say that you got angry.

Something upset you and you got angry. So pissed off. I got pissed off. Very casual way. Very common. So he continued by saying that you always want to be there for a friend. So to be there for a friend is exactly to support them, to...

You can really picture it, right? Like, I'll be there for you. I can in my head playing this song. The classic song, the friend's opening song. Anyway, so she said her, his friend said that she tried to reach out to him a number of times. So when you reach out to somebody, you try to call them, send them a message, uh,

That's to reach out. And then the message, the actual message that she was sending, the words were, want to come over?

What does that mean? To come over is to visit somebody. Yeah, to pay a visit. And then for him, that was just not really a cry for help. That didn't sound at all like she needed help. Like, want to come over. Yeah. Right? A cry for help is that. It's like when you are really needing somebody's help and then you...

Maybe even figuratively scream like you're just like, help, help. Yeah. But not literally necessarily like it can just be needing help. And then you send a message as a cry for help. So his friend later discovered through a research that if you want to support a friend that's, you know, going through a hard time like this, if you dedicate eight minutes to speak with them, eight minutes to be in a conversation with them,

that is generally usually enough to get them back on track back on track what is that i like that so when you are um like falling behind or you are distressed yeah so there are different situations when you come back on track you come back to your usual routine it's like coming back to

previous state, you're getting back on track. So they came up with this code. They had this idea of this code. They came up with a code that's basically just saying, hey, do you have eight minutes? And that was brief, quick, and already, you know, it showed that cry for help. Like, please help me. That was nice, right? And it's a very short clip. And there's so much vocabulary in it. And all of this is super useful that you could use in

you know, in everyday conversations, I'd say. Yeah, he also said like eight minutes, it's always something that you can give your friend. And there was another phrasal verb he used, like step out of meeting. And he used connected speech here as well. Step out of meeting. Yeah. To step out means like to leave the room or building for a short period. So that was another piece of vocabulary here. So...

As I was saying, this was a short clip, but you can see if you actually watch something with the purpose of learning, you can extract so much vocabulary from it. And again, the great thing about the real life app is that you can do this sort of exercise with these lessons, you know, because we give you, we highlight all the more advanced vocabulary and give you flashcards so you can learn these and never forget them. Just like we broke down the dialogue here or his lines.

We sort of do that too on app.

And it's really effective, I'd say, for learning. Now, Ksenia, this was amazing. And I think there's a lot of value in practicing all these things that we shared today. So the first thing was scripts. You can come up with your own scripts for the situations that you often find yourself in or that maybe you can expect that you go through in a trip or something, right? The second thing was learning synonyms. So you can have different ways to express your ideas, your thoughts. Remember that fluency has...

that connection with a fluid or a flow. It comes from the same idea. So if you want to flow with the language, you're going to need to learn different ways to express yourself. And the third thing we did here was exactly

watching this clip and learning how to actually build vocabulary, how to actually expand your active vocabulary. So, Xenia, it was a pleasure to do this lesson with you. Thank you so much for joining us today, for learning with us. And if you enjoy our content, an easy way to support us is, of course, to give us a five-star review. If you are listening to us to a streaming platform like Spotify or Apple Podcast, you can follow us there, recommend us to your friends who are also learning English.

And if you're on YouTube, please write us a comment. Tell us what you think about this podcast. Maybe give us a suggestion for a new episode, for a new topic and subscribe to the channel and hit the bell down below.

And if you haven't yet tried the RealLife English app, and if you haven't listened to this episode on the app, that's the right thing to do because you're not only listening and watching the videos, you're also following the interactive transcript there.

The app is free to download. We will be leaving the link below. So take the link, download the app and try it out today. And yeah, thank you so much, Izzy. I really enjoyed this lesson because, you know, it brought back some really good memories from the university times. We did write lots and lots of scripts. That's how we learned.

And you, dear viewers and listeners, thank you so much for joining us. Really appreciate that you're choosing us to support you, to guide you on your English learning journey. So guys, as we always say on this podcast, no matter what divides us, that which unites us is far greater. One, two, three. Oh yeah!