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Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's tip is that when you are trying to schedule something, offer three options that work for you. You will be perceived as helpful and flexible, and you are more likely to land on a time you are happy about. Today's tip, like some other recent ones, comes from Allison Fregale, a professor at the University of North Carolina's Business School.
Fergail studies status, power, and negotiation, and has written extensively about these topics. In her writing, Fergail advises against being what she calls a second mover with your calendar. In other words, don't put yourself in the position of responding to the dates and times offered by other people. I mean, maybe the options they offer will be perfect, but probably not.
It's hard to know what to do when the other person offers a time when you are theoretically free, but you have other things you'd like to do. You don't really want to accept a time that would be inconvenient, but many people won't decline when there is no actual conflict.
So instead of being a second mover, as soon as you suspect something's getting scheduled, offer three options that work for you. As in, yes, let's get coffee. Could you do Thursday at 2 or 3 or Friday at 3? Or I'd love to talk about revamping our onboarding materials. I could meet at X, Y, or Z time. This practice offers several advantages. First, most likely the event will happen at a time you want.
But by suggesting multiple options that work for you, not just one, you are conveying warmth. People like people who give them options, so that is great. And, practically speaking, offering more than one time increases the likelihood that one of those times will work for the other person. That saves you from endless back-and-forth emails. Of course, you may be wondering, why offer only three options instead of more?
Fregel recommends three, because she says that's enough to come across as warm, but not so many as to be overwhelming. I think it's also wise to be reasonably specific about what constitutes an option. In my view, Tuesday from 9 to 10 a.m. is an option. Tuesday morning, or the week of July 14th, isn't. It's hard to believe that all of the week of the 14th is equally good. So, best not to suggest it.
Of course, you can offer three options when you are scheduling in your personal life, too. Three options for when to have lunch with a friend, or go for a walk with your neighbor, or have a playdate for your kid and his friend. Fergail points out that offering three options works for other negotiations beyond scheduling. For instance, when you are planning drinks with a friend, you could suggest three restaurants and then invite her to choose.
When you are taking a dish to your parents' house for a family gathering, you can offer three options of things you could make and let your parents pick the one that would be most helpful. When you are figuring out how to spend a Saturday with your family, you could make three suggestions to guide the decision. When you are the first mover, you can guide the decision in a direction that will work for you. And by giving three options, you make it likely that an option will work for the other person as well.
So it is a win all the way around. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening. And here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam.com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.
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