Second Cup: All opposed should offer ideas
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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good morning, this is Laura.

Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's tip is that if you don't like a plan others have developed, you have a responsibility to offer a reasonable alternative. You can also set that as an expectation when others offer feedback. That is the difference between complaining and being constructive. These days, we take it for granted that getting feedback is a good thing and that hearing multiple viewpoints helps us make better decisions.

Often, that is true. Two heads can be better than one, and so forth. But there is a difference between constructive feedback and complaining. And unfortunately, the latter is quite common, even in situations where the plans have involved a lot of work. I am sure you have experienced this. Your team labors for weeks to draw up programming for your office retreat.

And then someone spends the whole time complaining that the food was better two years ago, when it was catered by a restaurant that has since gone out of business, and so wasn't an option this time around anyway. If your neighborhood association planned a neighborhood cookout for July 4th, instead of the usual 4th of July bicycle parade, because your township made it a lot harder to get a permit to close roads,

you will no doubt hear complaints from families who wanted to do things the way the neighborhood has always done it, even if that was impossible with municipal bureaucracy. Even in our own homes, plans developed by one family member may be critiqued by another. If you propose going to the amusement park, a proposal that seems like a surefire winner, you may get gripes from your kids that they never get to go on the fun rides because the little siblings are too short for them.

or that the nearby park is boring and they want to go to one that's a three-hour drive away, and so forth. But whatever the context, when someone has done a lot of research and spent a lot of time and effort pulling something together, it is not fair to simply oppose the idea. Anyone objecting has a responsibility to suggest something reasonable that they would be in favor of. Feedback is fine, but we need to be constructive

not negative. So if an activity gets mixed reactions from your kids, you could suggest everyone come up with three ideas that they would be excited about and see where there's overlap. Maybe there will be. We can hope. Those people objecting to the 4th of July cookout, they definitely need to take on a leadership role in the Neighborhood Association so they can share their great ideas and also put in the sweat equity necessary to plan next year.

And at work, if people have ideas for improving things, they definitely should be part of the appropriate planning groups. And they may take you up on that offer. And they will call 10 area restaurants next time to get bids on the catering and see if they can do better. And they might try to get out of it. But at least when it is explained what is involved, people have a chance to appreciate the work that goes into planning and decisions.

even if they do still pout about it. I am not saying that ideas shouldn't be critiqued and that feedback isn't helpful. I am just saying that when someone is critiquing, they should be asked to offer practical ideas on what can be done differently rather than just complaining. Or as someone once put it, all in favor, say aye. All opposed, can serve on the committee next time. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening.

And here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody. I'd love to hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at BeforeBreakfastPod. That's B-E, the number four, then breakfast, P-O-D.

You can also shoot me an email at beforebreakfastpodcasts at iheartmedia.com. That before breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much. I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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