Shownotes Transcript
This is Rock and Roll English. Real people, real English. Here's your host, Martin Johnston. Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Rock and Roll English, episode 355, baby. Oh yeah. In today's episode, I speak to Corporal Comer. Yes, he is back on the podcast. Hasn't been on for a long time. If you have no idea who he is, you've only just started listening. He's a
then you need to listen carefully because corporal coma is renowned for being quite difficult to understand. OK, so this is where the transcript does come in handy and our family members. Remember, you have that. Just click on the link inside the podcast just in case you need it. OK, and we talk about summertime. Well, not summer, just good weather, which is what we're
we are experiencing in the UK at the moment. So that's about it. I will talk to you at the end. Happy listening. Corporal Comer, how are you today? Absolutely fantastic, Martin. Glad to be here. And how are you? You normally don't ask me, do you? But I can see you're really up for it today, Comer. I really am. I've got the day off work, not for this, but you know, the weather's gorgeous, 30 degrees here, sitting in the, well, near the garden.
Yeah. Day off work for a podcast, that would have been something, wouldn't it? If you booked a whole day off work to record a podcast for Rock and Roll English, that would really have been something. Yeah, no, that would be too much dedication to this podcast. Yeah.
But yeah, you have actually touched upon something which we are going to talk about. But I won't ruin the surprise. What an amazing surprise it will be, I'm sure. But before we start, how do we usually start the show? We start with a review. Do you think we have one? Yes.
Unfortunately not. Not as far as I know. This is what I mentioned on the last pod because we often do have them and then people send me a message saying I left the review two years ago and you've not read it out. So remember, please tell me about the reviews if you've done it. So on to today's pod, Corporal Comer. Now, as you mentioned, the weather in England is glorious at the moment, isn't it? That is a word we like to use for weather, isn't it? Glorious. It is. It's balmy.
Yeah, balmy is not a word that you'll hear so much to describe it, but crazy. Yes, crazily good. So I thought we could talk not about weather, but about just how good weather makes you, what it can do to you. OK.
So I've got lots of things here that we're going to discuss. So number one, I think there's no doubt about this, but let's see. It boosts your mood. Do you feel in a better mood now that it's sunny? Literally a totally different person this week compared to when it's miserable. It's just totally different. I can even see from your vibe from being on the podcast. Normally you're a miserable bastard on the podcast. Life is good. The sun's shining.
But this time, yeah, no, I am the same. It makes a massive difference. I mean, I spent most of my time, I have spent most of my time since I come back to England thinking, oh, why am I here? I was coming back from work yesterday thinking, God, this is the best place in the world. Just...
Yeah, I wouldn't go that far, but yeah, it makes a big difference. But just that's all I need, one sunny day. And then I think next week I saw the temperature is going back to 12 degrees. So then I'll be back to being a miserable bastard. I think that's why...
I was so miserable for most of my life because I was... Because you were in England. Yeah. But then that's probably also why I was such a laugh when I was living in Sicily. Such a great person. That's also where I met my wife. I think it's no coincidence. None of the women wanted to talk to me in England because I was a miserable bastard. No, there was a noticeable change in your attitude when you moved to Italy, for the better. Yeah.
Exactly. So there we go. Boost your mood. Okay. So next one. Now, we'll talk more about this because I think there's a few things to discuss here with you, Corporal Comer. But the next one, I got all these from ChatGPT, by the way, like usual, which is the new standard procedure at Rock and Roll English. And it says, makes you overconfident. So obviously good weather makes you overconfident in your ability to drink in a beer garden. Yeah.
Now, we're going to have to draw on past experience because you are now teetotal, aren't you, Corporal Comer? Very much so. I live an alcohol-free lifestyle. So we recently went to the Hellraisers, actually, 40th birthday. And, you know, we went to that and I was thinking, I'm not going to drink as well because obviously you're not drinking. And I thought, well, Corporal Comer's not drinking, so I'm not going to drink as well. And as soon as I get there, everyone says, oh, do you want a beer? Yeah.
It's just too much peer pressure for me, Corporal Comer. I can't say no. I don't want to drink, but I just find myself doing it to talk to the cool kids. But you didn't have much to drink. You were pretty sensible. Yeah, not much, but still enough for me these days. I think I had about
four beers and bottles of pints and that was definitely enough for me but we chose the right time to go home because we went home together didn't we and I do think this is a skill knowing when to say that's enough it's time to go a skill that I don't think you had when you were in your drinking days I had no skills at anything in my drinking days so the main reason why I no longer drink
Yeah, you, well, you, I suppose, and the Hellraiser were the worst people at knowing when to say enough's enough. Whilst I think that's a skill I've had for quite a while, actually. I've had my fun. Now it's time to go. It's like when you have a conversation with someone, okay? Like you see someone you haven't seen in a while and you're like, you're talking to them. It's knowing when to say, right, I've got to go. Because when that conversation drags on. Oh, yeah. Awful.
It can be a nightmare. But anyway, so overconfident in your ability to drink in a beer garden. Has that happened to you, Corporal Comer? Yeah, that kind of describes my probably 20s and 30s, really. But yeah, like I say, now it's certainly less of an issue. But yeah, there is nothing...
But nothing, well, certainly there was nothing better than a sunny day. And the first thing, well, certainly you, I remember you would always say to me, let's go to this pub. It's got a beer garden. Oh, I loved it. Absolutely loved it. Yeah. Yeah. English people do bloody love a beer garden, don't they? Yeah. I mean, it's a great place to, I mean, although generally they are a bit crap, like it could be a pub in the middle of a town or a city that's just concrete.
and essentially you're surrounded by idiots and there's just a ton of wasps it's not really that not really that enjoyable yeah if there's one thing called pulcoma hates it's a wasp isn't it i noticed as soon as we started recording this podcast it looked like was it a wasp or a fly that entered your house inundated with bees at the moment so uh yeah quite a lot of bee the garden's a bit overgrown uh and there's just a million bees in the kitchen all the time it's like living in a beehive next to the fridge
We actually have a similar problem, but luckily I'm not that scared of bees. I'm scared of dogs, but to give me a bee...
I'm okay with not brilliant, but okay with. But yeah, so there we go about beer gardens. I was thinking about this as well. I'd never sort of questioned this. It's called a beer garden. It wouldn't be called like a wine garden, would it? It had to be beer because that's what we do here, isn't it? Absolutely, yeah. Wine garden wouldn't make any sense. Sounds too European. Too sophisticated. But you did make a good point about
what this beer garden actually involves you often see a sign in a pub saying beer garden then you go back and you go to the back and it's basically an old car park with some tables yeah old tables you just at no other point would you ever sit in essentially a concrete car park if you weren't if it wasn't because you had a pint of beer there yeah but that is how much we love it here in england so okay next one this is an interesting one
for you corporal comber anyway makes you feel sporty and an outdoors person so there's two things there so outdoors have you spent much time outdoors recently with the sunny weather yeah i mean well obviously working all day monday to friday so not really but yeah when it's the weekend it's nice nice with the kids get in the garden like obviously my daughter's too she loves it whenever she loves it if she can be outside so yeah as soon as the weather's nice we're all outside yeah
Yeah, I have noticed that now I have a garden as well. So, for example, Saturday was a nice day, you think.
right i'm gonna do something today and then the kids are happy in the garden you just think i've just given her i've given her a bag of sand and she's just entertained herself for an hour that means i'm not i'm not her own in-house clown entertaining her yeah exactly so why bother bother doing anything else um okay what about sporty been doing many sports no i've not i mean it's been a long time since i've done any any sports
Yeah, I mean, what sports have you actually played in your life? I think in around 2015, I played a few games of squash. Oh, yeah? Yeah. But no, I mean... I forgot about that. I was going to the gym, but yeah, that's died a death. Is that a sport, going to the gym? It's exercise. Counts. Because when I was thinking about this podcast, it actually came to me before, actually. A few days ago, I don't know why, just out of nowhere...
I just had this memory of you when we were kids. I don't know why I've not mentioned this enough really to you, but you used to do karate, didn't you? Because I was rubbish at football, yeah, I did karate. I kind of feel that I haven't really taken the piss out of you enough for doing karate. Considering we used to take the piss out of the Hellraiser for playing the saxophone, I feel that you kind of got away lightly with doing karate.
I feel like at the time, it wasn't that embarrassing. If you did it now, obviously, it would be ridiculous. But at the time, it was a legitimate way to spend your weekend. But obviously, I mean, it's a bit embarrassing, yeah. Yeah. And how long did you do this for? I remember you maybe winning some kind of competition. You came in with like a trophy. Yeah. I mean, that was probably a pity trophy, but...
I can't remember. The one for taking part. Yeah, exactly. Having the best uniform on, not actually being any good at karate. I think I probably did it from the age of about six to about 11, maybe quite a while. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't remember it going. Yeah. I think you just got to the bit. You kind of stopped again, what we spoke about earlier, the skill of knowing when to say that's enough, when to call it a day. Yeah.
And because I think when you start getting to those teenage years, I think that would have been, you wouldn't have survived that, would you? Well, someone might have actually challenged me and said, oh, you're good at karate. Let's have a fight. And then I would have got beaten up pretty badly. So...
Yeah. I was thinking as well, how do you actually get into karate? You know, football, you play at school, you get into it. How do you get into karate that you realise you love karate? Well, I don't know. I mean, like I say, I was probably six. My mum just said, do you want to go to karate? And I said, yeah. And then, you know, the rest is history. Or probably around that time, actually, a big film was The Karate Kid. Well, to be fair, that was probably another thing. Yeah, probably. Like I say, it was actually...
quite cool at one point um i think i think you're pushing the boundaries a bit there was a whole film about it there's a whole film i mean and i was great at it so well i never saw you in your karate uniform actually um but yeah the idea of that what belt did you get you by the way
the best one's black belt obviously and then the one before that's brown belt and i feel like you had to be 14 before you could go for your brown belt and obviously i was like 11 and i was on the one before that and i was just like oh yeah yeah sure you say you had the maximum belt for your age exactly and i couldn't i couldn't wait any longer i was like i'm just gonna get into something else so yeah and what else did you get into then after that probably just women drinking smoking
Organized crime. Just being a lad, basically, at 11. Okay, so I think we've definitely covered karate. So the next one is, so hot weather. I'm reading this directly out from chat GPT. Reveals who owns sunglasses and who squints like a granddad. So squint, like when you can't really see and you've got your eyes kind of closed. Now, Corporal Comer, you bloody love a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses, don't you?
I think I've got one pair of Ray-Bans at the moment. I do enjoy wearing sunglasses. How many pairs of sunglasses do you own? I don't know, not many. Three? I've got some prescription ones. I mean, I've got more than that, but I've probably got three that I actually wear. I mean, there is nothing more rock and roll than prescription sunglasses. It's nice to be able to see and, you know...
Right. So the other ones you can't actually see. Well, I can if I've got contact lenses on underneath. I can. You know, I've got a system. If I'm wearing contact lenses, I wear one pair. If I've not got contact lenses in, I wear the prescription ones. You know, if you're on holiday and it's the daytime and you're going to be swimming, you're not going to be wearing contact lenses. I see. Now, I've got perfect eyes. 2020 is what it's described as. I went for about two, three years ago. He said, your eyes are better than perfect. Yeah.
So I don't really know about these things, but I do know that you bloody love sunglasses. Whilst I, on the other hand, at the moment, I don't own any because when I do get them, I normally lose them within two weeks maximum. Yeah, I'm pretty good at not losing them. Well, certainly now that I don't drink, I'm definitely good at not losing them. Yeah, well, when you were drinking, you were good at losing things, weren't you? Yeah. Yeah, my dignity. Yeah.
I remember you even losing going on a night out and then losing your shoes, losing your flip flops. Easy, easy to happen that. It's a common mistake people make. Yeah, I can't say I've ever woken up and not known where my shoes are. That was the same night I woke up in the wrong hotel room.
on my own and I didn't have my phone or my wallet or my shoes or my watch. So I can only deduce that that was actually robbed rather than just losing stuff. But I love how you have absolutely zero memory of any of that. No, none at all. Literally none at all. Perfect. So there we go. That's why I stopped drinking.
Okay, so next one. Encourages ice cream purchases at truly inappropriate times or just ice cream consumption. How much has your ice cream consumption gone up, Corporal Comer? See, my ice cream consumption is actually pretty bad anyway, I'd say.
Probably three or four times a week. Even in the winter, I have ice cream after dinner. Really? Yeah. I didn't know this. Big fan. Big fan. Yeah? Yeah. Got some different sauces and stuff that I put on the top, crunch up a chocolate bar over it, make it... It's a whole event. See, yeah, the winter thing, I think that is a common sort of British thing because I remember, so certainly my parents-in-law coming to England and there were ice creams...
We were having dinner and there were ice creams around and they were like, what the hell are you doing? It's December. I mean, food still tastes nice in December. But, you know, I do get it. But, I mean, also it's just delicious. Yeah. Well, my ice cream consumption has kind of gone up, obviously, since having kids. And when you see an ice cream ban now, my kids...
cannot stop cannot resist so i literally yesterday went to an ice cream van four pound fifty for a cone i know it's not a ninety nine four so i got obviously you have to get two that's nine pound i wanted one as well but also i'm not spending thirteen pound fifty on three ice creams and i was hoping they would leave it but they fucking ate until the very last drop
It's fucking absolutely dumbheaded. And the other thing, when they're eating it, obviously, you've got a cone. There's a specific skill to eating ice cream in a cone, which children... Two-year-olds don't have, yeah. Two-year-olds are not very good at. And honestly, so I gave it to the youngest one, and he was within a whisker of letting that fall to the ground within five seconds. And I thought, if that ice cream falls to the ground, I'd just spend £4.50 on that. You're eating it anyway. Yeah.
yeah i'm just gonna shove it in your mouth in your mouth yeah see i always get it for my daughter in in the in the uh little cup so she can't she doesn't care she's not bothered about the cone so sure well i thought that but the old one wanted a cone so obviously the younger one did but i was gonna go for the like the cup um what do we call it it's a cup no yeah cup
Tub. Yeah, they said tub. Fucking hell. So I was going to get the tub. That was £5 for a tub of ice cream. That makes no sense. It should be the other way around. The cone actually is edible food. Yeah. So I thought, I'm not spending enough of 50p, so you can have the cone. But there we go. Okay, what about this one? It makes you wear clothes that you probably shouldn't.
So apparently summer is when fashion disasters happen. Now you have had many fashion disaster over the years. Admittedly, style wise, a lot has improved in recent times, Corporal Comer, a lot. In fact, you've now, you've left me for dead in the fashion game. But,
Let's talk about how it used to be, some of your fashion errors. Did they mainly happen in summer? No, no. I could make myself look ridiculous any time of the year. All seasons? All seasons. I had a shit outfit for any season. So, no. Yeah, I mean, I've worn some shocking stuff. Yeah. Well, I mean, two sort of the most famous ones when we talk about your fashion disasters do...
actually happen to be summer outfits one three quarter length trousers yeah i knew that was coming i mean what is anyone thinking when a man wearing three quarter lengths trousers so if people don't know they're not shorts they're not trousers they're somewhere in between just come into like the middle of your shin
uh oh yeah they were yeah i don't know what i was thinking i had quite i mean they were a thing maybe they were i don't know i can't even explain it like karate was really cool hey okay so we are going to leave it there talking about three quarter length trousers and i didn't want to admit it on the podcast but i also had a pair of three quarter length trousers when we were young but yeah
Hopefully Corporate Coma is not listening to this part. So anyway, on to the vocabulary, because yes, the rest of the conversation will continue in the members area. So on to the vocabulary. We mentioned how the weather is glorious. That is a great way to describe the weather, how British people love to describe weather. We say it is glorious if it's obviously nice.
Corporal Comer said it's barmy, meaning it's crazy. It's crazily good. Barmy meaning crazy. And I mentioned to Corporal Comer how just a bit of sunshine makes me think England is the best place in the world. And Corporal Comer said...
I wouldn't go that far. And that piece of vocabulary is in my vocabulary course, which remember you can check out totally for free by doing the two week vocabulary for lazy people challenge where you don't need to study. You learn vocabulary naturally. Check the link in the description to the podcast you're listening to just to check that out. Um,
Corporal Comer said he noticed a change for the better when I moved to Italy and then experienced nice weather. We mentioned how conversations drag on. They go a bit longer than necessary. You need to know when to stop.
And Corporal Comer mentioned that he is inundated with bees at the moment. Again, that is another piece of vocabulary from, I believe, the 14 day free challenge, meaning he's got so many bees at the moment, he doesn't know what to do with them. So remember, again, check out that vocabulary challenge because you use, sorry, you learn everyday words like this. He also mentioned that it's like living in a beehive. Now, I recently learned this word in Italian, the word beehive.
So I thought maybe you don't know it in English. The place where bees live, it's a beehive.
And we also mentioned, well, I asked Corporal Comer, what sports have you played in your life? Because notice in England we play sports. I know lots of people say to practice sports, but that sounds very strange in English. Corporal Comer said that he used to go to the gym, but that's died a death, meaning he doesn't do it anymore. And I said he got away lightly with doing karate. So got away lightly, didn't really suffer as much as I think he should have done for doing karate.
And we mentioned a couple of times the skill of knowing when to call it a day, meaning knowing when to stop to call it a day to say that's enough. We do use that at night as well to say I'm going to call it a night when obviously you go home at night. And Corporal Comer said that he stopped karate. Otherwise, he would have got beaten up. So when someone beats you up, they physically beat.
destroy you let's say and again that piece of vocabulary is from my vocabulary course so again check out the free 14 day vocabulary for lazy people challenge i guarantee you will learn something click the link inside the podcast you're listening to right now anyway that's enough for me today i will talk to you very soon but in the meantime just keep on rocking baby
Thanks so much for listening to Rock and Roll English. For more great content and to stay up to date, visit rockandrollenglish.com and facebook.com slash rockandrollenglish. We'll catch you next time.