Hopes, Dreams and Life ✌️ #346
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This is Rock and Roll English. Real people, real English. Here's your host, Martin Johnson. Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Rock and Roll English, episode number 346, baby. Oh yeah. In today's episode, we speak to the Hellraiser about...

Not a lot, really. I mean, what else do we talk about on Rock and Roll English? We never talk about a lot, do we? So it's kind of about our hopes, dreams, life in general, or just...

That might be a nice way of saying we just talk about nothing, okay? Whatever you want to believe. So, before we get to the episode, just to tell you, this will be the last episode. I think before Christmas there will be the break and Rock and Roll English will be back after Christmas, early January. I probably should have thought about the exact date before making this podcast, but I haven't, so apologies for that.

But if you are in the Rock and Roll English family, do not worry because there will be lots of episodes over the Christmas period. Anyway, I am going to stop talking now. Here is the conversation about not a lot. Oh, sorry. There are a few things I need to tell you. Some also listening questions for you. OK, so.

few things I have on my list here is number one, the Hellraiser was fidgeting a bit. Fidgeting is a great word, by the way, moving around. So there is some audio, very small problems-ish. That's thanks to the Hellraiser's fidgeting. Also, if you haven't listened to all of the podcasts, which I imagine most people haven't, I suppose, I don't know. We do talk about some things which we have spoken about on episodes before, which I

maybe we assume you know for example the fact that I have a tattoo on my

ass that says BJ we talk about that doesn't actually say BJ to find out what it actually means go back and listen to those old episodes so we do talk about that and just one listening question try to find out try to listen carefully about measuring pencils okay measuring is the key word because we do talk about pencils a few times measuring pencils okay who measures pencils okay I will talk to you at the end happy listening

Hellraiser, how are you today? Wonderful, Mark. How are you? Always fantastic, Hellraiser. Even more fantastic talking to you. Haven't maybe spoken to each other or seen each other since Valencia, have we? Our mad trip to Valencia. I think you're right. Yeah, it's been too long. A couple of messages here and there. We did meet for a couple of hours, for one hour, I think, in Chelmsford. Remember, we had that very specific time there.

where I could only say 60 minutes, but we did have two beers. You had a very specific time. Yes, I remember. I remember that. And I remember trying to get you to stay for one more. The classic. And you were pretty resolute about having to leave. Something about family, kids or some bullshit. I'm not sure. Yeah, more thinking if I don't go home now,

I may die. So went for the safe option, went home, everything was fine. And we had a great time. So everyone was a winner, Hellraiser. I was average. It was average. Great to see you though. It was good for you. It was average for me. I don't know. Yeah, I think that's a pretty good description of it actually. Amazing for me.

You're just happy to get out of the house, I think. That's it, even for one hour. What an hour. So, Hellraiser, how do we usually start the show? Reviews from trusted fans. Do you think we have one? I don't know. It's been a bit hit and miss, hasn't it? I want to say yes. My heart is saying yes, but my head's saying no. Lesson, always listen to your head.

because we don't although I am actually recording this one day after I recorded the last podcast with Boom Boom okay for listeners probably think oh this was so that was so long ago that podcast but in real life it was yesterday so haven't had time for any more reviews so yes please send them in okay um

So we've got some just general questions here. Also, again, because I haven't had any time to plan another podcast, but just got some general questions about life to see like what kind of person you are. Hellraiser, the real Hellraiser. We want to get to know the real Hellraiser and obviously the real Martin. Okay. So first question I got, as always from chat GPT, what was your dream as a child? Hellraiser. Now I'm,

maybe just going to suggest something which I understood was your dream when you were a child. Was it to be a saxophone player? I feel like you're putting words in my mouth now. You're going to tell me what my dream was as a kid. Was it to be a saxophonist? You know what? I actually...

So I said saxophone player because I didn't know the word. It's shocking. You're supposed to be an English teacher. This is an English language podcast. How often do you need that word? Quite well. If I was going to be world famous saxophonist, quite a lot.

So how many years did you play the saxophone for again? Five good years. Yeah? Five good years. Can you still like belt out a few tunes on that? I have to dust off the reeds, maybe do a few finger exercises. A few finger exercises. So you actually do need to practice fingers when you're a saxophonist. Saxophonist.

So that's what you were doing before going to bed when you were like 12 or 13, doing finger exercises. I mean, you can call it that. Probably something different. But yeah, finger exercises. No, I was just practicing the sax, man. Just, you know, in a smoky bedroom. You're making it sound as if you were playing in jazz clubs when you were 12. That was it.

I've got my brother on the trumpet. He was seven. Well, I think when you were 12, your brother was about one. Yeah, I'll get the timelines confused. I had maybe some trumpet on a tape in the background. But anyway, I mean, to go back to your initial question, was my dream to be a saxophonist?

Probably, I wouldn't say it was the first dream. I think the first dream was to be a fireman. A fireman? Who played the saxophone. You'd come in a burning house and it's like, oh, well, never mind. The fireman's going to play us a tune. It's just distracting everyone from the carnage. I'd bring it with me on my back.

To the, yeah, to the fires, no. Yeah, I think I was quite keen to be... You are not manly enough to be a fireman. I mean, not that I am either. I'm not saying, you know, that I am. I don't think either of us are. I beg to differ. Yeah, you think you could handle that? I could handle a fire. How many fires have you put out? Not many, that's the point. If I see a fire, I just... You run away. I normally just play the sax now. I don't put... If I hear a fire, I just play a bit of jazz.

But yeah, you're right. Firemen are quite manly, generally speaking. I've heard as well that the main thing they're famous for is getting cats down from trees. Did you read that on the internet? I don't know. No, actually, I remember talking to someone at a party once.

about he was a fireman. And I was really impressed by this. And then everyone was saying that. And I must admit, his muscles were pretty impressive. Even I was thinking like... Well, that's all from just lifting cats. Yeah, apparently. Apparently you can get really... Did you ask him? Did you say to the fireman, I've heard all you lot do is rescue cats? No, I was too scared of him. I thought he might punch me and break my nose. So...

I didn't really want to talk to him, to be honest. But other people were talking to him. I was mainly in awe of his ginormous muscles. Cool. Very cool. Yeah, so Nero could be fine, and that's pretty clear. But interesting that was your dream. So for me, it was just be a footballer, but...

Still hope, you know, still... Well, we went through different lifetimes, didn't we? I mean, there was probably fireman, saxophonist, footballer, rapper. Rapper. Badass gangster. And then just...

Just a normal man. I think after that, I think that describes yours quite well. Fireman, footballer, saxophonist, rapper. But then I think your dream was to just be homeless for a while. That was your kind of weird phase, wasn't it? That wasn't a dream. That was a reality. That was just something that I was facing and I had to make the best of it.

you managed to live your dream then good job I was playing the sacks getting a bit of spare change all of these things are just coming together now aren't they exactly exactly it all makes sense when you look back at it did you have you only had one dream to be a footballer so that's failed I mean at least I played the sacks hmm

Well, I mean, on my birthday, Boom Boom sent me a picture of a Japanese footballer, still 57, still playing professional football in Japan. So, you know, keep the dream alive. Yeah, definitely. The key thing is still playing professional football. Didn't start at 40. But OK, any dreams now, Hellraiser?

Just nightmares, really. You know, you interpreted that in the same way as chat GPT. When I was saying, give me some questions about dreams, it was asking me like actual dreams, like at night. But I was like, no, dreams like aspirations. Hopes and dreams. Hopes and dreams. Yeah, nothing now. Yeah, that's it. You've lived a dream of being homeless and playing the sax. Where do you go from there? There's nowhere, is there? The only way is...

It's down. What about you? Well, I think maybe to be a famous podcaster, but again... You've realised that already, haven't you? Well, I don't think so because...

I see, I talk to lots of people. So I've been in the game a while now. So like seven, nearly eight years. And then you talk to so many people that, oh yeah, I started my podcast or YouTube channel in 2021. And they've got like 10 million subscribers. How about you? Yep, similar, similar. Millions, millions. But what subjects are they covering then? Generally the same as me. Okay, cool.

Good. So same genre. Same genre, same everything, just much more popular and famous. Living my dream, Hellraiser. Stealing your dream. Stealing it. How can we get you there? What can we do? I'll tell you what most people do. Leave a review, okay? That's one thing that we can do. Okay, so another one. Now, obviously...

to see what type of person you are. We need to know, do you always remember things, Hellraiser, like birthdays? Are you a person as a calendar, like a Google calendar for like to go grocery shopping on Saturday? You have that in your calendar, 10.30 to 11.15 a.m.? I mean, my foolproof method is to write things I need to remember on pieces of paper.

I do that, but then I lose the paper. And then spend quite a lot of time trying to look for the paper.

So, yeah, it's a pretty good system. Similar system to mine, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty good. And then I'm still writing things down. I don't know why it is I don't like to write things on my phone. You know, it doesn't feel like a proper list if you typed it in. I was just about to say the same thing. There's something about that pen and paper vibe, isn't there? You just can't buy it. I mean, I write with a pencil. You can see this is one of those extendable pencils. This is what I write with. I can't even use a pen.

Just a random story popped into my mind. Do you remember when we were in school and we used to break pencils on our head? The idea, you hold it, sort of left hand, right hand, head in the middle, kind of headbutt the pencil, and then it would snap in two. That's the idea. That's the plan. I know where you're going with this.

I've got such a vivid memory of you trying to do that, the pencil not breaking and then you just had this pencil line across your forehead for the rest of the day. Always a good look to have a pencil line across your forehead, isn't it? Yeah, it looked pretty cool. Just another reason for the girls to love me. Yeah, I'd forgotten about that. Thanks for bringing it up.

I didn't think that story was going to come up. I hadn't thought about that story in a long time.

But very glad that it popped back into my mind of that. It was almost like a tattoo of a pencil just perfectly across your forehead. Maybe you're into tattoos. Maybe you could get that one. It's a good idea. It's a good idea. Are you still into tattoos, actually? Is that still a thing? Because, again, was that just one of your phases? Are you over that now? I mean, it's a pretty stupid thing to have a phase about, isn't it? Because they last quite a long time.

Yeah, true. But at one point, I mean, you were going out on a night out on a Friday and then you'd wake up with three new tattoos. Yeah, that happens a bit less now. But I normally plan them a bit more. But yeah, I'm still in the game. Still in the game.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Big time. You haven't had any more since you got BJ tattooed on your ass? Well, I got the other one in Thailand, didn't I? Of the date I left for traveling. And then they also messed that one up and just put the wrong date. Well, at least you haven't got dangerous written on your back. Backwards. In another language. But can you even see that now of all the other tats you've got?

Yeah, yeah, you can still see that one. Thank God. Right. Okay. I've thought about getting it covered up, but it's quite a good conversation to start on. Yeah, no, that's the same for my BJ as well, actually. Do many people see your ass these days? Well, not really. It's a good party trick, though. Again, I get it out less now. I can imagine. I'm not sure. So since I've started my new job, which was in January this year,

Haven't mentioned the BJ tattoo on my arse, funnily enough. Many of your colleagues seen your arse at all? No, it hasn't come up in conversation, you know, whilst, you know, at the water machine filling up my drinks bottle. With your arse out. That could be something to think about. No, so that hasn't come up.

But on the memory thing, one thing that just when chat GPT gave me that question that popped into my mind was how maybe even still now, but certainly until a few years ago, every time we would meet up and you would see

boom boom you would always say how is how is life in the insurance game thinking he worked in insurance and he had literally never worked one day in insurance in his whole life it's that thing with like your close mates I have you don't know what they do for you for work I mean we've known each other for a long long too long time and um

I mean, apart from I know what you do because we're doing it right now. But apart from that, I've got no idea. All of the other people, no clue. Coma, I'm not sure. I still think that he measures pencils, but I'm sure that that's not true. He can't have been doing that for 15 years. Maybe his job of measuring pencils, he got inspired that day when that pencil got tattooed on your head. It's possible. Yeah.

So Russ isn't in the insurance game anymore. Doesn't anymore. Literally never worked a day. I remember because when I lived with Boom Boom in London and he used to complain about the fact every time we met up with you, you would always ask him this. Well, that'll be one thing that I'll be sure to ask him when I see him next for our Christmas get together.

I've got no doubt. But OK, so, yeah, this is the whole whole kind of life interview, I suppose, here, Hellraiser. So what about now? It's like a stupid question, but a question which I thought, you know, I don't know how to answer that. Hobbies, hobbies now. What are your hobbies? Do you have hobbies? Do people have hobbies when they're around the 40 mark? I think that we should. I mean, yeah.

I mean, what do I do? Exactly. That is exactly my response. Hobbies? Yeah, I've got loads of them. Yeah. So many. What are they again? Walking. I think that's one. Reading. Yeah. Talking. Breathing. Yeah. Yeah. No, I've always done that. Eating. Drinking.

Having a shower. I've got into sauna culture these days. Oh, yeah? How did you get into that? Well, I just got into the sauna, dip in the lake.

Oh, right. Get your kicks off, jump in the lake, go for a swim and then get in the sauna.

And then sit in this sauna and it's really hot in there. And then I'm just sitting there thinking, what am I supposed to be doing here? Do I need to take all my clothes off? Yes. Well, I didn't want to. No, I stayed with swim shorts. Just leave a sock. A sock on it. No, I always stayed with swim shorts. But there were some naked people in there.

and the whole experience was a bit uncomfortable for me. I'm not a fan of like, have you ever been to like a spa? I find like that, like too much pressure of like, you need to relax. Oh yeah. I feel like I relax when I want to relax. I don't never make me relax. Exactly. Yeah. Is it one of your hobbies is to not relaxing? Probably. Being stressed, going bald. Yeah.

Yeah. Those kind of cool hobbies that we've picked up. And so you said reading. How often do you read? A page a night. A page a night. I give her a book. I've been normally a couple of books on the go. It takes me about six months to finish. Well, if you're reading a page a night...

Just read it and then you just fall asleep. I've been there. I've been there. And not only that, you're reading the same page every night. Because you've forgotten the page before. Exactly that. Yeah. It's pretty cool. I hadn't planned this, actually, but I, as of two days ago, have...

It's a combination of things we've spoken about. Put in a 15-minute slot into my calendar to read, to read. What are you going to read? I've got loads of stuff, mate. Loads of stuff. Oh, yeah? What are you reading at the moment? Manchester United treble winning year 1999. Again, Alex Ferguson's autobiography, again. I've read that. I'm reading at the moment...

a book called What They Don't Teach You About Money. Okay. So trying to learn some stuff about money. Because one of the things I'm starting to think about retirement, do you think about that much, Hellraiser? No, never. Me neither. And I remember a good few years ago now, talking to one of our friends and he told me, he said, yeah, I've got this like retirement fund. I put 650 pounds a month in it. I just think, oh, wow. I could probably use that during the month.

Yeah. And also thinking I think I sort of stopped paying tax for about five years at least of my life. And plus I've got tax paid in different countries. So I think my retirement fund at the moment is like minus 650 pounds. Yeah, it's going to be it's going to be pretty slim. I think I often find that the less you think about those sort of things, the better.

Yeah, really good attitude, I think, to anyone listening. That's actually written in the book about money, actually. Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about it. And then it will all be much better. Does it say anything about going back to your saxophonist dreams could actually be the best retirement fund decision you've ever made? Yeah. Because that's also sometimes what I think about. Yeah.

Yeah, it's strange how your financial advice is exactly the same as everything in this book. Your new hobby should be writing financial books. Financial advice. Okay, so we are going to stop the episode there and continue it in the family area where, as mentioned, there will be lots of episodes over the Christmas period with Rock and Roll English family members where I actually record podcasts with Rock and Roll English family members. But anyway...

So, first things first, the measuring pencils. That is Corporal Coma, okay? That's what we say in our friendship group. I say we, it's more the Hellraiser that says that, because as you can imagine, that is obviously not true. I'm not sure if that exists as a job, measuring pencils, but I don't...

To be honest, I don't even know where that started, but that is a common thing which the Hellraiser will often say to Corporal Comer. Apparently he measures pencils, when in reality I believe he works in finance, but similar to the Hellraiser, I don't really know what the hell he does. So let's have a look at some of the vocabulary from today's episode. So the Hellraiser said that when we met for a beer, a one-hour beer, he tried to make me stay home.

But I was pretty resolute in the fact that I needed to go home. So if you are resolute, you are not going to change your decision. You are like, no, I am doing this. And I was like, no, I'm going home because otherwise Mrs. R&R would kill me. And we mentioned reviews. And I said, do you think we have a review, Hellraiser? And he said, well, it's been a bit hit and miss so far. So hit and miss, meaning sometimes good, sometimes bad. You can't really predict it.

And lots of the other vocabulary, quite obvious the meaning, but some nice vocabulary I just want to highlight. So the Hellraiser said that when we were talking about dreams and I said, well, I think you want to be a saxophone player because I didn't know how to say saxophonist. He said, you are putting words in my mouth, but you are deciding for me. And then I asked him, can he still belt out a few songs, a belt out, like play a song with really enthusiasm, like saxophonist?

Something like that. And he said, yeah, I'll have to dust off the saxophone. So dust off is a lovely term we use to talk about something you haven't used for a while. And I mentioned how to be a fireman. Hellraiser is not man enough. And he said, I beg to differ. Basically saying...

I don't think what you said is correct. Notice as well when we were talking about being a fireman, you have to put fires out. That is what we say for fires. You don't switch off a fire. That sounds very strange. You put out a fire. And I mentioned about the fireman. I was in awe of his ginormous muscles. So if you are in awe, you look at someone or something and say, wow, wow. That's what I was doing, looking at his muscles.

And then the Hellraiser I mentioned about is a foolproof method for writing things down and losing the paper. Like it's so good. It's foolproof. And just some other little things when talking about saunas. I said, yeah, sauna is a bit of me. I like that.

and talking about something which I can't remember and how I mentioned it was a good few years ago now, meaning a long time ago. So that's it for this year. I will see you all again next year. Maybe I'll release another podcast before just to say happy Christmas and all that. But in the meantime, just keep on rocking, baby.

Thanks so much for listening to Rock and Roll English. For more great content and to stay up to date, visit rockandrollenglish.com and facebook.com slash rockandrollenglish. We'll catch you next time.