What Is Stonewalling And Why Is It Destroying Your Marriage?
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Research shows that four specific communication behaviors during arguments can predict divorce with 80-90% accuracy, while eliminating these behaviors can dramatically improve marriage success.• The four horsemen of relationship conflict are defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and stonewalling• Defensiveness deflects blame and responsibility, creating a downward spiral in communication• Criticism attacks a partner's character rather than addressing specific behaviors• Contempt is the most dangerous pattern, involving feelings of superiority toward your partner• Stonewalling occurs when one partner mentally or physically shuts down during conflict• The antidote to stonewalling is taking a purposeful break with the intention to resume later• Taking time to cool down and process emotions leads to more productive conflict resolution• Sometimes sleeping on an issue provides needed perspective, contrary to "don't go to bed angry" advice• Breaking these harmful communication patterns requires recognizing and interrupting them earlyGet our ultimate guide to better communication by visiting marriagehelper.com/smart) to access our toolkit on how to communicate effectively, even when your spouse isn't talking to you.

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