Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And it is Ask Uncut, where you write in your questions, your problems, your predicaments. We do our best to answer them. Your deep, dark and burning questions. Hey, I woke up this morning. Now I live in Laura's house.
old house for anyone. You know where I'm going to go with this, don't you? No, I was just laughing because without context, people think that you just like live in my spare bedroom. People don't know that Laura locks me in her basement of a night time. No, I moved into Laura's old house. So Laura moved out of her apartment and I moved in. And Laura had this like infestation problem with husbands.
They're back. They're fucking back. Oh my God. But they're back with a vengeance. No, they were there with a vengeance. I will never forget the day that I was sitting on the couch and I was like, oh, there's a huntsman on the blind.
And I got up and I pulled the blind back and there was no joke about 70 fucking baby huntsman's that had just swarmed up the curtain. Dude, look at my goosebumps. With all these big ones. I put it on stories at the time because I was like, I need to burn this house down. We don't live here anymore. I'm homeless. Find me. Help. Help. It's escalating. So they've started. Maybe it's time for me to do another bomb or something. I don't know what you do. You bomb it? I think you move. Okay.
Okay. I think it's time to move. To get a lighter. Okay, so they've been around, right, the last couple of weeks because, as you guys know, I spend all my time trying to talk Ben off a ledge about Australia's not full of spiders and killer animals. And lately they are coming more frequently. Every day there seems to be one and I'm like, fuck, this morning –
They took it to another level. This morning, I woke up and I took my eye mask off because I sleep with a satin eye mask. And there's a huntsman just like, hello. Yes. There was a huntsman about six inches from my face. And it wasn't just one huntsman. It was eating another huntsman. It was eating it in my face. And I was like, oh.
Well, I took for a minute. I looked at it and I was like really taken aback because it was so close. But you know when a huntsman dies, they sort of shrivel up a bit? Maybe they're just kissing. No, so it was shriveled and hanging off the wall. And I was like, oh, it died on its own in the nighttime. That was weird because it was sort of stuck to the wall. And then it moved and went blah, blah, blah. And then I saw that it had another one in it.
Well, maybe they were having sex, actually. But I... Oh, my God, they're procreating! Do huntsmen do that? Do huntsmen bone? I don't know. People don't come here for science facts. Remember that time I had to cut us saying that a turtle wasn't a reptile? Tisha, don't put that back in. You're a producer for a reason. Can I tell you? Hang on one second. Hang on. Yes, Laura, it's not immaculate conception. Huntsmen have to have sex. They don't just look at each other. Do they, though? How do insects breed?
Just before you do carry on, I have a confession to make, which every so often I remember and it makes me feel really deeply stupid. So I think it was up until I was like in my late teens, early twenties, when I realized that chickens had sex to fertilize the egg. I thought that a male chicken fertilized the egg after it was laid. What?
What the hell? That's why you could eat some and not eat others. I thought that there were like some that you could eat and some that you couldn't eat and some grew into chickens and others didn't. I think I was like 24. Hang on, you thought that a chicken would go and hump an egg. No, I didn't somehow inject into the egg. Yeah, I didn't actually think that there was any chicken intercourse. You know you get to choose what you share on this podcast.
Like you just made a choice. That's a choice that you can't take back. I would like to do a call out. What is the dumbest thing that you thought to be true and how old were you when you discovered it wasn't? Like that thing that you're like, wow, I am ashamed of myself. Mine's the chicken and the egg, literally. Yeah, what came first? I don't know if this is like the dumbest thing, but it's the first thing that came to mind. It wasn't that long ago. That I thought the earth was flat. It wasn't that long ago that I thought the same. You know, nip it in the butt.
I thought it was nip it in the butt, like in your butt, like nip it in the butt. Like when someone's walking away, you're like nip it. And then they walk quicker. It was shockingly recently that I discovered it was bud. And it was even after that, that I discovered it because you corrected me. Yeah, that's right.
Anyway, I have an update on how spiders reproduce, just so everyone's still curious. Spiders reproduce sexually by transferring sperm from a male to a female. You were right, Britt. Shock. It's a shock, guys. A female then stores the sperm in a pouch until she's ready to lay eggs.
Good for them. She carries it around with her. Emergency sperm. Like that dress that you told us about on Wednesday's episode. The condom dress. Well, with all that really important stuff out of the way, we did say we're going to keep Ask Uncut snappy this year, so let's get into our vibes and unsubscribes. Brittany Hockley, what is your vibe for the week? I'm coming in so hot with my vibe this week. This is going to change your life, blow your mind. It's called neck tech. Okay.
It is a spontaneous purchase that I made last week at about 2 a.m. in my bed. That's what I do. That's when I do all my online shopping. I got it from Amazon. It is like an at-home massager.
Now, Neck Tech is like the brand and they sell different kinds of massages like legs or whatever. This is this contraption that like, and Keisha has now tried it. It drapes over your neck and it plugs in, but it also has a car attachment. So if you want to plug it into your car while you're driving, it massages your neck. That's great. I like that. It just sits over your neck and...
and comes down to your hips and you can put your arms in it like a sling so your arms are relaxed in there and the pressure's taken off and then it has like different speeds and temperature. It warms up as well and it's,
I always think these things are like gimmicky. They are. Not this one. This will blow your mind. It is like someone is genuinely massaging your neck and you can put it on any body part. You move it down your back. You can lay it flat, put your calves in it, put your feet in it. It's probably the best thing I have ever purchased in my life. I have to double down on this. When Brit first showed me it, I was like,
Oh, my days. Like what's this little knick-knack you got now that you're trying out? And then I tried it and then I went home. I couldn't get her out of my house. And I was like.
We need to own it. What is it called again? Neck tech. We need to own a neck tech. I'm so bad with things like this. So like I bought that LED mask and it's really good. And I wore it religiously for about three months. And I was like, wow, my skin looks great. Guess I'll stop using it now. And then I've never used it again. I'm just so bad at anything that requires long-term commitment. Well, in the neurodiverse community, we call that hyperfixation.
Do you know what I do? And this is what makes it easy, right? It just sits on my lounge and it's plugged in. So when I sit down for anything, if I'm going to sit and eat on the lounge, if I'm watching TV for a bit, if I'm on my laptop, you just put it on your neck. That's it. It's so easy. This is not sponsored. I bought it. Also, I don't know if it's on sale still, but when I got it, it was, it sells for, I think $150. And I think I got it for about a hundred. I had like a $50 off sale. Amazon neck tech. We'll put the links. It just changed my life.
I've never known you to be so excited about a vibe. So I'm here for you. I'm happy for you. Yeah. Also because I have, as you guys know, all my neck pain and my migraines and stuff. So I was extra excited to find something that I've enjoyed and I thought was actually working. So yeah, I'm passionate today. Tisha, what is your vibe? Mine is a bit of a darker vibe at
this week. It is the new binge doco. It's 90 minutes. Diddy, the making of a bad boy. So this was the one that was made by Peacock and there's been a lot and a lot of talk ironically on TikTok before it was banned and then it came back about what was going to be revealed in this documentary. And obviously since he was arrested last year on charges of, I mean, horrible things, racketeering, sex trafficking, there's been a lot of podcasts. Britt, you've recommended one before. So
I just wanted like a 90 minute package that kind of summed it all up. And I knew some of the information that was in there, but I really, really didn't know the extent of it. And so when the documentary started, I actually was initially questioning, oh, is this for me? Because they went through how when Diddy was three years old
Sean, I should say, his dad was murdered. And I was like, oh, I don't want the backstory to tell me why this guy became a monster. Like that's, I'm not interested. You're like, I'm not here to sympathize. It very quickly became a Revelation style documentary. So one of the parts that hadn't really been reported on as much, or at least I hadn't read about it, was how Diddy actually kind of got shot into stardom. And it was because he was the promoter of this event,
where they oversold tickets and nine people got killed in a crowd crush. And he was kind of the face of it. He took no responsibility for it. There were accusations that...
Diddy's previous partner, Kim Porter, did not actually die of natural causes from pneumonia, that she potentially may have been murdered. And there was actually a list of people there are now suspicions of as to whether Diddy took them out because they, you know, had too much information on him. And one of them who survived, I'll be sure, he is in the docuseries and it's the first time that he has ever spoken. There was a woman who appeared on camera and she accused Diddy of murdering
sexually assaulting her with TV remotes. There were allegations of him using employees to lure women into these sex parties. His mum was also accused of being involved in these wild sex. It was very, very strange. And this came from people like his bodyguards, from people like the friends of his
from, you know, childhood friends. The people in the documentary were very intimately involved in his life and that's why I think it's quite interesting. It also led to a lot of questions about people like Tupac and people like Biggie and,
And whether or not Diddy had some type of involvement, there's been a lot of talk about that for decades, but this docuseries painted a pretty clear picture of what he would have had to gain from that situation. And I watched this off the back of you recommending it, Keish. And I think the biggest difference for a consumer is these allegations are not new. For years, everyone has speculated that he had
a hand in murdering these people. So that's not new, but it's hearing from the people in his life. It's different when you hear someone that grew up with him question like, yeah, he definitely, this is suspicious. He definitely could have done it. That's where it adds this extra layer of like, hang on a minute. I think also seeing how, you know, we've heard about these sex parties and how many celebrities have been involved in his orbit. Yeah.
It was just really mind blowing that he's 55 now and I truly cannot believe, especially after Me Too, that it's taken this long. And it kind of just goes to show, I guess, how much power he had. We're obviously going to be hearing a lot more about Diddy coming up in May because his trial starts on the 5th of May.
So if you kind of want to get your head around what the reasons for that and all of the backstory to the media, it is on Binge and it is called Diddy, The Making of a Bad Boy. Awesome. Yeah, well, I also have a Binge doco for everybody to go and watch. Binge is killing it at the moment. Binge has got some good stuff. Not sponsored. Wish it was. Would love to have an account. Run at us, Binge.
Okay, so this is a docuseries. I've only watched the first episode and that's because I think it's a three or four part docuseries, but they're dropping an episode each week. So it isn't all available yet. It is called An Update on Our Family and it is all about...
the Micah Stauffer story. You might remember this story. It was very prolific in 2020, and it centers around a little boy that they adopted from China named Huxley. So this family, the Stauffer family, had a massive YouTube channel. They were kind of of the high era
of family vlogging, shared so much of their lives. And one of the things that really, really just catastrophically grew their engagement was that they went to China to adopt this little boy Huxley and bring him into their family. And it kind of had a bit of that whole like white savior element to it. Now that happened in 2016. In 2020,
Huxley had been largely absent from the family content and the family vlogging. And a lot of people were starting to ask the question, well, where is Huxley? Especially because he was the one that so many people were so interested in. And Micah and her husband got onto their social channels and did quite a vulnerable and emotional post about the fact that they had, quote unquote,
re-homed Huxley to some other family. The reasons for this unfolded, it's because he had severe disabilities, disabilities that they weren't aware of during the adoption process, and they didn't feel that their family was fit for it. Now, absolutely justifiably, people were furious, especially not just furious about the fact that they had given him to a different family, but also the language that was used, re-homing him like he was an animal and not a child. Like an accessory.
Yeah. And also the fact that like, you know, you could biologically give birth to a child that has disabilities and you make do and you adapt, but they obviously never saw him as being as important or integral as the rest of their children, or they would have adapted to be able to cater for a child who has disabilities.
The reason why I wanted to recommend this is because it's something we've spoken about on the podcast before, this family vlogging and the ethics behind family vlogging. And in the docuseries, they have other people, experts in the field, commenting on and talking about the insidious nature of family vlogging and also how once that is the way in which you make your money,
in order to keep expanding your business, you have to keep on having children. And so they talk about these adoption as being not out of love and not out of being an altruistic, opening up your family to an additional person, but actually that it was a very like strategically financial move. And it also allowed them to gain more followers because it's like a business decision. Yeah. And when you think about it, they had 700,000 subscribers at the time, the biggest family vlogging, um,
like, I don't know the name of the family, but the biggest one at that time in 2020 was 1.2 million. So they were really high up there when it comes to being one of the biggest family bloggers in the world. So you can kind of question the motivations as to whether this, you know, whether this was something that could have had a different outcome if the adoption had taken place, not because it was motivated by profits. This,
This actually reminds me a little bit of the conversation that you guys had with Haven Shepard. She's the Paralympic swimmer who was adopted from Vietnam and she is a double amputee. We'll link everything in the show notes. It's such a fun episode if you want to go back and listen to it. But
It really provided a different perspective for me. She was initially adopted into a family in America from Vietnam and that's not the family that she ended up becoming a part of. So the Shepherd family were the second family and I guess it just provided a different perspective
maybe like a little bit of context about why that decision might not have actually been as awful as like you initially hear that story about these family vloggers and you just go, how could you be so cruel? But I don't know, perhaps there is another side to it that Haven could give, you know, a bit of a perspective on. I mean, it's a fascinating watch and the first episode's out on Binge. Well, you guys can get a neck text, sit back and watch one of these Binge Docos. How about that? All right, let's get into answering your questions.
All right, question number one. We recently found out that two of my housemates are sleeping together and I can't help but be a little bit pissed off at them. First, the guy, he also had recently gone through a messy breakup in the first week of our lease where his partner, one of my best friends, had to move out.
The house is only just recovering from this. The girl he is now sleeping with, our other housemate, has lived with us for two and a half months, also living with the guy's ex and being friends with her. I'm finding it hard to be nice to them around the house but have been told by my partner for the sake of the household to be pleasant. What should I do? I don't even understand what's happened. There's about 15 minutes.
five different people in here that were sleeping together, broken up and moved out. Do you want me to like, yeah. So firstly he moved in with his ex-girlfriend. There must be like four or five people living in this house. He moved in with his ex-girlfriend in two months of them living there. They broke up. The ex-girlfriend moved out. She's friends with the ex-girlfriend, right? So I'm not following. I'm actually not following. What do you mean he moved in with his ex? They both shared a room. So him and his ex moved in as a happy couple into this house. Yeah. I think that's throwing me. A couple moved in. They weren't exes when they lived together.
When you say he moved in with his ex-girlfriend, it makes me think you've moved in with an ex-girlfriend. Sorry. A happy couple moved into a house. Okay, great. They had an argument. Yeah. They broke up. Yeah.
The girl moved somewhere else. He stayed. There is another woman who lives in this house as well. She has not been living there for very long either. However, there was crossover between the couple and the other woman living in the house. The happy couple. Yes. So the ex leaves and now the two of them are shagging. Yeah. Got it. And now there's another person in the house. Yeah.
And your mum lives there too. No, but now there's another person in the house that's not happy. Well, no one's happy about it. Fuck in this house. Is this like a backpack? It's like a backpack. Move out. Move out. Okay, got it. It's not your business. That's the way I feel. It's not your business if they're boning each other. You could be unhappy with it because you don't want maybe it doesn't suit you to have people in the house that are banging, but you can't be like, yo, you guys can't be having sex together. They're paying rent. They can do what they want in the house.
Yeah, so long as they're being very respectful of the space and them shagging each other is not like affecting your ability to live in the space because it's like, you know, flowing out into the lounge room, for example, they're fucking on the couch. But if they're just living their best lives and they're keeping it kind of to themselves. Well, it sounds like it's actually she's unhappy about it because she has a friendship with the ex that moved out. So it's a weird form of loyalty that you're feeling towards your friend that moved out.
but you don't have any ownership over that. Like, I feel like you're like, Hey, she was my friend. You guys were together. Now it's awkward that I have to see you with someone else. And it probably is really awkward that you're seeing them. But if exactly that, if they're not fucking on the lounge and they're not leaving condoms around and they're not keeping you up at night with sex. And if they're just two housemates that are turning up and paying their rent, but you know that they're hooking up, then you can't do or say anything. If you're that uncomfortable and unhappy, then,
I think you need to move out. I don't think you can ask them to move out. And don't get me wrong. Like I understand why this is an uncomfortable situation. I totally agree with you, Brit. I understand why you feel as though it's frustrating because this affects your ability to be in your house and not have anxiety and not be stressed about keeping secrets from your friend and X, Y, Z. But it's not a situation that you have any control over. And like, unfortunately, your moral compass is not the thing that reigns supreme in this situation.
I would potentially, because if, for example, the ex is your very, very close friend and she will be very angry at you if she finds out that they're sleeping with each other and you knew and you didn't tell her, I would probably have a conversation with the guy, with the housemate or the girl as well and be like, hey, I know that it's not
Sarah's business or whatever her name is. I know it's not a business. I know that this situation is not necessarily ideal if it's going to cause dramas XYZ for her, but like I refuse to be put in the middle of this. So if that's going to affect my friendship, I'm going to have that conversation with her or you guys can, because I don't think that you should be the person caught in the crossfire with this. But apart from that, if they want to have sex, they can have sex. The only thing that- Have you ever banged a room?
roommate no but I was banging a guy so I had a really good friend and we were going to move in together we were mates and we were looking at house inspections right like we were genuinely good friends
and we'd gone to several house inspections. We'd put in an application for a house. And then banged. And then we fucked. And then we were like, fuck, we can't live together now. I was like, oh, we could still live together. And he was like, this is a terrible idea. I loved toxicity at the time. So I was like, wouldn't this be exciting? No. And no, thank God. Thank God. The absolute Lord that he had more sense than I did. Is that the same guy that
ended up telling you he liked you while you're on the toilet and then you accidentally wrote back to him and said I would never date you. No, no, no, no, no. Different guy. Never had sex with him. No. Okay. Yeah. Praise the Lord. The only thing I want to add to this is that...
Firstly, it can be a joy when your housemates hook up with each other if they're like suited to each other and like you know that they're meant to be and it's like they're dating and life is great. That can be fun. It can be an absolute fucking hellhole punish if your housemates hook up together and it is just sex and then someone ends up being hurt. Like it's a recipe for disaster. They do say don't shit where you eat. Probably don't have sex where you eat either. Like both unhygienic, unnecessary, but people do it. It's the same thing. That's what the saying means. And it's –
Thanks for breaking it down, though. And it happens. Don't shit where you eat. And also on that, don't have sex where you eat either. Thanks, Laura. They don't actually mean literally shit where you eat. God, I've been doing it wrong this whole time. Nip it in the butt. But I'm being serious. It can cause lots of problems. I don't think you're on your own with this. No. I just don't think you have any control over it. And if it's pissing you off that much, unfortunately, you move out. You're only renting. So, yeah.
That's actually a shit thing to say because when I say you're only renting, I don't know how much renting a house can be like your home. I've been there, I've done that. But also if your home is causing you anxiety, then it's time to look for a new home. Yeah. Question number two, Laura, I think this one requires your expertise. Finger up the bum. This was a hot topic out at dinner with my girlfriend. I don't like it anymore.
If your man sticks his finger up your butt during foreplay and sex, what does it mean? Is it for your pleasure or because he wants the same in return? Or could it be that he wants to try anal? Or is it just simply a finger in the butt that shouldn't be questioned? I think it means you have a finger in your ass. I'm not sure how deep you need to go. Two knuckles. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Did he like a whole finger? Two knuckles? I don't know. That was just a joke. I don't know. Usually it's just to the first knuckle. No, I think it's two because it's got a bend for the G spot. Well, bend. You have to bend. Yeah, I need that joint. Wow. But then like that's. You need to go in and. All right, look. I think if you're having sex and someone sticks their finger in your ass, it doesn't mean that they want you to stick your finger in their ass. I don't think it's as clear cut. I just don't. It could. Absolutely.
If they're slowly nudging their asshole onto your finger, it probably means that they want you to do it. If they sit on your finger, it's a subtle sign. If they grab your hand and shove your finger in their ass, they probably want you to do it. I think you should ask them. I think it's okay. If a guy has his finger in your butthole, you can probably ask him if he would like it in return. I think you
just edge towards it and he'll wriggle out of the way if he doesn't want it yeah he'll make it known either way in all seriousness this could mean many things this is i am assuming he's doing this for your pleasure because the g-spot is in the butthole a lot of people find a lot of pleasure from anal play so he is probably thinking that this is something that could be great for you you may like it you may not like it but absolutely you need to tell him if you like it or not
Also, it very well could be a sign. Like we often say, you know, if you don't want to use your words, which some people don't, that you can show people what you want in sex by doing it. Like we always say that, like lead them down the garden path. Yeah, verbal is not the only way to communicate with things. And a lot of men would have trouble communicating
sort of verbalizing the fact that they want you to put a finger back in their butt. And they shouldn't, like it should be really clear cut when you're dating someone what you want sexually. But we know that that is not the case. People, women and men have a lot of trouble verbalizing what they want to say, especially in the moment. Like it's hard to be like, oh,
Push your finger in my butt. Like it's hard. So he could be doing it. So you do it back. He could be doing it because he thinks you're going to froth it. If you're not, you need to tell him. Otherwise, he might just be giving it a whirl. He might not be knowing what he wants out of it. He's just like, oh, I think this is what people do. Or he's had sex with someone else who really liked it. And so he was like, this is what chicks like. I'm very big on just saying what you want in the bedroom, especially if you don't like it. But maybe you can start. I don't know how far you're dating, but I think you could say to him, like, have you
done butt play before? Like just ask him and he'll say straight away, yes or nah, it's not for me. He'll just be like, nah, not for me. And then you know. It is interesting. Don't go willy nilly. Now you know. Nah, now you know. It is interesting though, because this is not
a finger in the butt during sex. This is a finger in the butt during foreplay. Like that's really specific, right? No, that's a foreplay thing. Yeah, but usually it's a finger in your bum during sex. No, it's definitely a foreplay thing as well. Well, I can't say that I've ever had someone going down on me and instead of fingering where they're supposed to, they just stuck one finger in the bum. Like I don't think I've... It's a G-spot. Sorry, of course. Of course, guys, look. It's been a while. It's been a while. Keisha's over there like... I was like, is there a phone call? What are you doing?
What are you doing? Keisha's over there with two fingers. One in the pink, one in the stink. Of course. Now I know where that comes from. Yeah. One of my most famous quotes in this podcast was that everyone likes a finger in the ass and it's really haunted me over the years. Yeah. I love that this is the topic that you're having out at dinner though. I think that's great. But I, yeah, no, I'm not going to say that. Ha ha ha.
Wait, got some dignity now? Well, no, I don't have any dignity, but this one's not my story to tell. So I just thought sometimes we've got to stop ourselves in our tracks. Yeah. Yeah. Did we just go to boundaries? No, usually I just edit those boundaries out. Like as in like usually it happens and then I listen to the episode before it goes to air and I'm like, oh, we shouldn't have said that. Take that out. Sometimes we all say stuff, stories in the record and we go home that night and then one of us will get a text to the other one that's like, hey, you know that thing I said? Just cut that out.
Like we go home and think about what we've done. It's like when you wake up after having a really drunk night and you have regrets about everything. We do that but in podcast form where we tell everything, put it all out on the table, then go home and go, actually, can we edit that down? I actually don't know if any of us have it about ourselves though. I think we only ever have it if we're telling a story that involves someone else because we're like, oh, actually, maybe that's a bit on the nose. I don't think any of us have ever self-censored properly. Oh, no, I've self-censored. Self-censored.
I've self-pleasured. All right. Okay. I know that we've been real hard on the cat contents and coming back, but I'm here for it. So we're going to go for gold.
I live in a shared house with two other girls. One of the girls has adopted two cats that now live with us. The cats are simply damaging the property in the house that belongs to me, like countless houseplants, scratching, making pulls in the couch. Am I within my right to ask for financial reimbursement for damages to my property or asking her to replace these items? She doesn't really apologize for the damage or the destruction slash the death of my houseplants. R.I.P. And instead...
Blames me. How should I approach this? And is it fair to ask her to pay for the things that her cat has damaged? I mentioned this recently. So last week we were talking about cats as well, believe it or not. It was another housemate cat thing where- I'm hot for cats now, guys. The girlfriend didn't like her boyfriend's cat. They didn't bond. They weren't about it. And I made the same comment then that I'm going to make now, and it's what she has said. The reason I've always said I don't get cats is because they do damage so much stuff. So do dogs though. No, but I know dogs can-
in terms of like when they're puppies, they chew and stuff. But generally speaking, they grow out of it if they're not bored. But cats are little bitches that want to claw things like,
their entire life and let me tell you their life is like 20 years brit i do want to remind you when we did the shoot for life uncut for jumpers brit brought we did at my house we just when i say shoot when i say shoot we put jumpers on and we stood in front of a wall in my home so we did the shoot the really big yeah that was that high end that high end shoot that we did in my apartment at the time you brought delilah actually i was in a house and i had a
And Delilah was being such a little menace at the time. She was a puppy. She was like one. Yeah, that's a puppy. So you put her outside in the backyard and we could hear her barking and we could hear her like scratching and stuff. Anyway, we'd take the photos. Brick goes on her merry way.
Four days later, I go outside to hang the washing up and I close the wooden sliding door. And Delilah has absolutely fucked the door. She's been pouring at it to try and get inside, like scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch. And she's ripped all the paint down the rental of the door. And I was like,
I hope they never notice that. I hope I have a really incompetent house, like rental inspector, whatever they're called. Rental inspector. I plead the fifth. She had attachment issues. I've got a quote and that was $700 to get it fixed. Please pay me. No, it's fine. Was it? No.
They never noticed. Are you still paying my gas? I am. Origin energy is fucking coming for me because I've not paid my bill. I paid the last bill. For Origin? Yeah, you sent it to me. That's great. So now you have to manage my gas bills. You send me the bill and I have to pay it.
For context on this, as you guys now know, we've established on this episode, I used to live in Britt's house. I never disconnected the gas. And I never connected gas. And I am still paying for Britt's gas four years on. So we're real close. Hang on. You're such an exaggerator. It's been like three. It's three years. Yeah. Okay. Roommates, cats, damaging property. Let's focus. What I was saying is, get back to my point.
Yes, cats can damage stuff. If this is your property and when you moved in there were no cats, like if she moved in as just a catless housemate and now she has acquired two cats and the cats are damaging the property, I absolutely think you can ask her for cat cash for sure if she's damaging your property. Lounges, furniture, like that. Or some might call it cat cash. Sorry. It's not a thing. That's pretty good. It wasn't. It's definitely not a thing.
So, yes, it's always an awkward conversation for sure. Like, hey, can you buy me a new lounge because you can't put a hole in it, especially when she's like she probably thinks, oh, it's just one scratch here. It's not a big deal. But to you, it's your property that you've paid money for and you've looked after. I don't know if it gets a little bit different if you agreed to move in with said animal, like if the animal's already sort of on the lease. Do you know what I mean? Like that's a bit different. But if you've moved in with her as a pet,
pet-less person, she's got the pets and they're ruining everything, then yeah, you have to say like, guys, you're going to have to pay me for this. Like this is my shit. Yeah, there's a couple of tricky ones here. So like the death of houseplants, the death of the plants is really annoying because like I'm sure the plant is not dead. I'm sure it is just damaged, right? Like it's ripped the bottom leaves, it's bitten leaves off it, like and it now no longer looks aesthetically pleasing, which is annoying.
Is there a way that you can move them to a different area of the house where the cats can't reach them? Like, have you exhausted all of those options? Because if you have exhausted all those options and then it's still happening rather than just like leaving it there and then being pissed off that the cat's doing it. Like if you're not mitigating the issues. Yeah, but you're not going to lift a giant fiddle up on the kitchen bench. Like there are plans that, you know, you can't.
100%. And I agree with that, but there probably are some that you can if it's a feasible option. I think the thing is, is try and do all the things that are within your control first before you bring this up as a big issue. The one thing that I do think is a massive problem is the scratching of furniture and the couch. I even know from Raspberry, like cats,
Fuck couches. They just do. Because they claw into it. They treat them like they're scratching posts. Luckily, actually, this is a recommendation for anyone who has a cat. I have the koala couch, like the koala sofa that has the removable covers. It's not one that you can sleep on. It's not the fold out. It's just like their big couch. They're not.
The type of fabric that it is, it is so good at hiding cat clawing. So you cannot tell that she has clawed the couch, but she has. She's really given it a fucking good nudge. If I was in this situation, it was a rental and the cat was not mine. I absolutely would be pissed. And I would be having a sit down conversation with my housemates saying, Hey, I love you. I don't actually have an issue with the cats, but this is the situation. And
If my furniture is going to get ruined, I do expect there to be financial compensation for that. This is the cost of the couch. And when we move out, I'm not going to take a damaged couch with me to another house. I'm going to have to buy a new couch. So I don't think she has to pay for the entire value of the couch because obviously items of furniture depreciate, et cetera, et cetera. But there should be some contribution to what's been damaged. And you guys mutually have to come to a conclusion on what that looks like.
And if that is met with a lot of resistance and met as though she doesn't care, then she doesn't care about your belongings. She doesn't care about your happiness and satisfaction within your own home. And so I would be questioning, okay, do I want to, and I know that the answer shouldn't always be, do I want to live here?
But when you're renting and you have to live so closely with other people, you really need to find a space where you come home and you feel really comfortable and you're happy. And if this is going to affect your ability to do that, living with two cats that you don't want to live with, then I would say it might come to a point where it's something that you might have to explore, not just the financial side.
I also just one more potential solution for you. I want to ask if the owner of the cats has provided the right things to try and make them not scratch the couch. Totally. They scratch anyway. Do you have scratching posts? Are they playing with the cat to kind of, you know, give it some –
Well, there's two. But are they doing the things that you can do? You know, like if we were to make this about a dog, it would be like are they walking the dog? Are they giving it stimulation? Are they trying to do something? Is the cat scratching because it's got nothing else to do is the question I'm asking. So like has your housemate –
done what they can do to rectify the situation. Yeah, but cats are assholes like that. We've got a scratching post and Raspberry looks at it and she's like, why the fuck would I want to use that when I can look at that lovely couch that I can go and sit on and scratch. Don't call them that. You just call them an asshole. Yeah, but I'm allowed to. She's mine. She's my asshole. I didn't say yours is. I just said cats are. And I'm not. I like Raspberry. Yeah, I do too. I genuinely am not against cats. I do think they're beautiful. I just don't understand them. She was in bed with me last night. I rolled over on top of her when I was asleep and I just had a go.
But she didn't move. She just kind of like copped it and then readjusted herself. Does she sleep there when Matt's there? Yeah, actually, nah, not really. She sleeps on Lola's bed. So she goes wherever Lola goes. So when Lola comes into my bed, she follows Lola and comes into my bed with Lola. I've had enough of cats. Sorry. Next question. And next week on Ask Uncut, we're going to talk about what the best breed is. I'm actually going to put a cat ban on next week at least. Someone has asked what my favorite cat food is. So we're going to talk about that next week.
Okay, last question. Is it okay for your boyfriend of three years to not want to talk about his exes? I feel like for me, it's not a big deal. Your past is your past, which is something you should be able to share with the love of your life. It's part of who you are and how you've grown. Why should it matter if you have moved on? Why can't or doesn't he want to talk about his past? He's 32 and I am 28. Any suggestions, thoughts or feelings?
I agree with your partner. Like, I don't think it's necessary if they don't want to, but I'm not about it. Like, I want to know everything. Fucking show me the pictures. Give me their Instagram handle. I want to know every detail. I want to know why didn't it work out. I want to know, like, how long were you together? Like, what was great about the relationship? What was terrible about the relationship? What did you do good so I can do it better? Literally, I just...
I want to know all of those details. Laura morphs into the person. They're like, why are you so hair blonde and you've got a new job? I'm a DJ now. And everyone's like, what are you doing, Laura? Yeah, Matt's ex is a DJ. Yeah. She's really hot too. She's nice. We're friends with her. Fucking Jordan's ex was the number one golfer in the world. How do you compete with that? That's why you don't want to know. Brittany starts playing golf. I did. I was like, hey, babe, I picked up a new sport. No.
So I like to know this information. It doesn't affect me. Like it doesn't, you know, it doesn't upset me or anything. I just think it's really interesting and it makes me feel, weirdly it kind of makes me feel more secure in the relationship because it's like, oh, you've chosen to share everything
this with me and we kind of know everything about each other. But also I've been with guys who have been like, Hey, I don't want to know about your exes. And obviously I'm a talker and I like to share things as well. So sometimes I feel a little bit like, Oh, but I want to tell you, but I don't want to know. And I'm like, Oh, but I, that's me too. Damn it. I don't want to keep it inside. In my experience, which is vast,
And more men than women feel that. I feel like more men don't really want to know the details about your past and women, generally speaking, want to know more. I want to know everything, but in a weird way. I want to know, but I don't want to see them. So I was joking. I don't like to look at Instagram handles.
exes that I don't even know what they look like, but I know about them. I wouldn't know them if they walked in front of me, but I know why they broke up and how long they were together and what they were like in the relationship and what went wrong. And I love to know all that. And I also want to tell that, like you said, Laura, and I've been really upset before. Like Ben, for example, doesn't want to know.
about my past. He's like, I know you have it, but I don't, I'm here now and we're here now. And let's talk about now in the future. But for me, the past is really important because I really believe that I'm a very particular person today because of my past. The good thing is, is that even though Ben might not want to talk about it, you talk about it so often on the podcast, he hears it anyway. Yeah, a hundred percent. But I remember getting really upset once saying like, it bothers me that you don't care.
And I was like, maybe you can pretend to care. Jordan was the same though. Jordan didn't want to know anything. Jordan was worse. Jordan was worse. Jordan didn't want to know. I didn't even exist. I was born the day that I met Jordan, like in Jordan's eyes. There was no history whatsoever. That's so weird to me. I respect it when someone is like adamantly like, please don't tell me.
I respect it. But Ben's not quite like that. He's just like, I don't care about it. But I'm like, I want you to know me better. Yeah. To know me better is to know like what I've been through all my past. So I absolutely get that. It would bother me if my partner wouldn't tell me anything about them.
I think it's a really fine balancing act between respecting your partner's wishes because if they adamantly say like, it will bother me knowing about it and I genuinely don't want to think about you being with someone else because some people, it gets stuck in their head. And whether it's right or wrong, when something gets stuck in some people's head, they can't get out of it and you don't want to be putting that thought in someone's head if they've told you. If they've said like, I don't want that to be something I think about and you push that on them and then it's all they think about and it becomes an issue. Yeah, I think
there's levels to this though. Firstly, I think it depends on, has he spoken about bits and pieces in the past and told you, because there's a difference between talking about it frequently, rehashing shit he's already told you and just giving you the information in one go. You know, like I think that sometimes that line can be a little bit blurred. So I would ask the question, do you already know parts about his past? And has he spoken about it to a level that he was like, cool, you've got all the information you need. I don't want to talk about
my ex-girlfriend because it's not something I think about every day. I don't think that it is an indicator
of a person holding onto their past or holding onto their ex just because they don't want to talk about it. I think sometimes it is an indicator of emotional maturity. Some people who aren't able to compartmentalize or think, well, if I talk about this, maybe they're going to think I still like her. And so they almost like repel in the opposite direction. I don't necessarily think it is as big a deal. However, I prefer it when I'm in relationships with people who feel comfortable enough and are
able enough to talk about their past and can do it in a way that's not talking about it all the time by any means. But if a question comes up, they're not shutting me down or the conversation down because it makes you feel invalidated when you ask a question. And the answer is, I don't want to talk about that.
That's where the disparity happens. And that's when people feel as though, oh, well, you're shutting me out from this part of your life. Well, no, it makes it worse. When someone's like, I don't want to talk about it, you're like, why? Why? Exactly. What's the, what happened? It makes you want it more. Yeah, I agree. And it also, yeah, it makes you think they're keeping secrets from you. Like, well, what is it about that relationship that you couldn't tell me about? So I actually think it works against that.
them when they think they're doing it because they're like, well, I don't want to talk about it because it's not important to me. It's like, well, the fact that you won't talk about it makes me think it is important to you. Well, you've said why can't or doesn't he want to talk about it? I don't think it's that left field. I think it's quite normal for people to feel like they don't want to relive their past. Maybe it's traumatic and they don't literally want to relive it. Maybe they've spent a lot of time and energy moving on from something. Maybe they just give no fucks. Like some people just
don't care. As long as if it's really important to you, all you have to do is communicate that and you can work out a level that you can talk about on. Maybe you don't have to give specific details. Maybe you don't need to see their pictures and Instagram handles. My advice is don't go to that level. My advice is find out what you need to know in a conversation, but don't go to the point of stalking their pictures and Instagrams because that's irrelevant and that's only going to add damage to your relationship. We've spoken about that in the past.
it's unnecessary to go to that level to stalk someone's past. It's not going to bring anything positive to the relationship. But I think if you're trying to just figure out more about... Oh, we've all been there. Don't shame them. No, but if you're trying to figure out more about who someone is and get closer to them in the relationship, that happens via conversation. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah.
Well, guys, that is it from us today on Ask Uncut. If you have a question for us to answer next week, slide on into the DMs, particularly if there's anything about cats. I'm here for it. That's a joke. I think the cats are banned now. You can slide on into the DMs on our socials at Life Uncut Podcast. Follow us there. Also, our YouTube channel, TikTok. We've got all the things here. Hit up the YouTube. It's so good to watch it. There's long episodes. There's short episodes. We put all our –
like our little tidbits in there. It's cool and it gives a different vibe to watch it. And what a lot of people have been doing... You can see Brittany talking for a continuous stream with her arms in her air and her armpits out for absolutely no reason. A little bit of pot calling the kettle black, old armpit gal over here. Everyone likes a bit of armpit porn, okay? Well, what I was going to say is...
Before you shamed me for the way I talk. No, I shamed your armpits, not the way you talk. A lot of what people are doing now with Ask Uncut, which I think is really cool, is they're putting the Ask Uncut on YouTube when they're at home. We play it. The questions are out. People are cooking, like, you know, couples are cooking dinner together. The question comes up. They pause it.
then they talk about the question together and like the answers and what they'd say, then they play it. And I think that's really cool. I think it's a really cool way to like listen to the episode, watch us and have those conversations with your friends or housemates or partners at home. Maybe you should play this if you're the girl that lives in the cat house.
Actually, either of them. You can say it for all of them. Put on surround sound. Actually, speaking of this, we got a message this morning from someone who had listened to last week's Ask Uncut with the question about the girl who said, I've realized that my hinge match, I've slept with his younger brother. Yeah. So she sent her fiance a message and it said this, collecting data, would you date someone that your brother had previously slept with?
And her fiance has replied, um, no, full stop. Why are you asking me? Then there's another message. I don't know how much time has gone in between these. And it says, is everything okay? Did you sleep with my brother? She's responded. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Sorry. Podcast question. I promise I haven't slept with, and I'm assuming that the name is her fiance's
brother. So funny. I love that that's the data collection. Like you need context. If you're going to message your boyfriend and say, hey, would you still date someone that slept with you? Yeah, you need to give context. I think it's fine. No context. Just let them wiggle around for a bit. What, and think their brother fucked you? No. Don't take Laura's advice. Alright guys, well that is it from us. You know the drill. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love!