It's Your Confessions Week! Valentines Day, Being Mooned and Can You Vent About Your Partner?
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This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany. I'm happy to be here. We are recording this slightly early this week. Yeah, which I know that that makes no difference to anyone else. But the reason for that is because I may not be here if you all continue to vote for my husband. Yeah, there we go. We did open with it. We did.

We just prepped the episode and we were like, okay, so let's not start with voting for Matt. We'll ease into that. And then we're two seconds in, we're like, vote for Matt. Laura wants to go to Africa. Britt was like, please, can we just, let's talk about the wedding dress or like, we've got other things on the list. Lola mooning me, Valentine's Day. There's quite a few things. And I was like,

I think I need to get the vote for Matt in early so that way I really have a hot chance of going to Africa next week. I do love that we had the discussion and Laura's like, no, I agree. And then we're like, hi, guys. And she goes, Africa, Matt, vote 10 times. Link. We'll put the link in the show notes. You can vote on 10 play. Anyway, Britt, you went wedding dress shopping this week. If you're not up to date on the wedding dress saga thus far, it's not a saga. Britt's having a great time. I don't know if that's a term I'd use. Well, the saga is more a saga for us internally because you're

You haven't shown anyone the dress. You're keeping it completely to yourself. That was a choice that I made. Yes. But to the extreme, because often people take like one person. Britt's going to every wedding dress appointment by herself. Well, I went at the start. My friend Kim came who's, you know, she's one of my really good friends. She is also has been like my stylist for a couple of years just because she's my friend. We met on The Bachelor many years ago. So she came at the start.

like the first few meetings, but she hasn't come since it's been made. So she hasn't seen it either. So Kim...

was actually the stylist on The Bachelor and that's how you guys became friends. And now as much as your best friend, she also styles you for pretty much everything anyway. So it makes sense that you would take her. Yeah. I don't want people to think that I have a stylist like on my books because I absolutely do not. I'm very lucky that I have a friend that happens to be a stylist. That has style. But yeah, so the saga is not a saga, but I did go last week. No, no, no. It's a saga for me because I want to know. I want to be included. Yeah. Laura...

hates not having control and like she doesn't know what the dress is. She doesn't know anything about it. Big, small, tight, fluffy, loose, high neck, turtleneck, backless, like feathers. You don't know anything. The problem is, is because I've seen. Bow or constrictor feathers. No, I've seen all of your reference images. And they're all different. And the issue is, is that every single thing you've just described is in your reference image. So I'm pretty sure your dress is all of the above. That's what I'm expecting. That's why there's three. It's an amalgamation of everything. Yeah. Yeah.

You're going to walk down the aisle looking like you're in The Masked Singer. No, it's good. That's the next reality TV show that Fritz is doing, everyone. I think we can safely say I'm never going on The Masked Singer. We know that I can't sing. I have the voice of a dying cat. No, imagine actually I am walking down the aisle, but it's one of those dresses where it depends on the angle you look at. It's like an illusion. Like it's a different dress on each angle. Like the back corner is one dress. You mean like one of those cars that's that metallic paint and it depends on the light that you're in, what colour you see? No, it's...

So I had my like quote unquote final fitting. So it's not the final fitting, but it's the first time I saw my dress done. There's obviously things to change like hems and putting things on and taking things off, like fine tuning. But it was the first time I actually put it on and I just love it. Like I just love it and I just can't wait to see it. And I...

So spilling the beans here, like we actually did have a private moment, Laura, Keisha and myself, a couple of days ago where like I sat them down and I said, I need to ask you something. And I also love that the first response was, hang on, should we save it for the podcast? And I was like, no, this is a real moment. This is like a real life moment because Keisha and Laura aren't my bridesmaids, which I know and I wasn't Laura's bridesmaid. And I know a lot of people don't understand that because from the outside we are all so tight, but it's

It's different when you're only... We're not actually friends. Yeah, we don't actually like each other. No, but it's different because... We laugh through the tears. Well, like Laura and I have been business partners and friends for years, but when you choose to only have two or three, you know, there are lifelong friends, there are siblings, there are... It's just different. And so we all understand that, but a lot of the lifers didn't understand that. Well, we've had so many conversations over the years around it. For me, in my situation, I had...

four bridesmaids and all of my bridesmaids were people that I was made of honor for their weddings. And also they were, or every single one of them I've known for more than 10 years. So like, they were like long, long, long. I was like four years off the committee. Yeah. And I was like, sorry, Brit. But also like you, you signed my wedding certificate. Like you played a really important role in my wedding and like was included in all the things. No, I didn't know.

I made it not legal accidentally. No, it's still legal. You just put a smiley face on there. So it was super un-fucking-necessary. But there's a reason for it. There's a reason why I was like, oh, that's the only job I'm giving her on the day. I literally signed her wedding statement. I didn't know I couldn't do it. And then I put a smiley face and like a kiss at the end. Laura's like, you can't, that's it forever. And I was like, sorry. Sorry.

I didn't realize it was such a big thing. Anyway. No, it's not like getting your university certificate. It's not like anyone frames it and puts it on their wall. Yeah. I don't even think I've seen it. I don't know where it is. Do you know what I did to mine by accident? You know how when you get married, you don't know my degree. Oh, I didn't realize one day, you know, when you got to start a ballpoint pen, you got to roll it around to get it going. One time I was trying to get a pen going so I could write something and I was like, that

That texture feels weird. And I moved the other things around. I've drawn scribbles to get this pen on my actual degree. And I was like, well, I don't use it anyway. That's so funny. You never look at them anyway. Unless you're a doctor. No, I don't think they do. But I don't even know where mine is. Irrelevant. So, yeah, so I've got three bridesmaids and they're all my sister, my lifelong friends. Like it just, you guys just didn't fit. Sorry. Yeah.

In the nicest way possible. I didn't want a huge bridal party. Yeah, we get it, babe. Yeah. No, I'm not explaining to you guys. I know you know. I'm just letting everyone else know. But I did sit them down and I said, like, you guys know that I'm having a small bridal party and unfortunately you didn't make the cut, but you are my closest people and, like, you are my besties and I want you to still be a part of the day and I want you to be there with me, getting ready for me, but then you just have to take your seat. Yeah.

Like you don't get to go sit on the front. I'm going to say something here, which may be controversial. I think that if you are a very close friend who doesn't have to be a bridesmaid, but gets to do all the things that the bridesmaids do, you are the fucking elite friend because being a bridesmaid sucks. It's so much work. It's so expensive. It doesn't suck for my bridesmaids because I've made it as easy as possible. I have no expectations of

anyone. I'm making sure everything's organized for them. I'm not like, yes, they're flying there, but I'm paying their accommodation there. I'm paying their dresses. I'm paying their hair and make like, there's not, I want nothing from them. And I made that choice. I don't want anyone to feel the pressure. But so I asked the girls if they would come on the day and do everything like they're part of it. And I started crying and it was a really emotional moment. And then Keisha brought up the fact that I had secretly asked Keisha to do this huge favor for me.

I asked Keisha if she would actually be in charge of taking my wedding dress to my wedding. Yeah, this is where the real, this is a point of contention in our friendship group. I don't care about the bridesmaid request, but the dress, interesting. Also, Keisha's as big as the dress. She's not going to be able to carry it. It actually is a big responsibility, I've realized. Yeah, it is. And I'm not particularly reliable, so I'm curious as to why I was chosen. As long as you definitely take your ADHD medication that week.

I feel safe. It's like you are taking it to Bali, right? Keisha gets to the airport and she's forgot to pack it. I would not be surprised. I feel like I'm missing something. Toothbrush, yelp, wedding dress, fuck. No, I asked Keisha to take my wedding dress because I'm actually not coming from Australia. I'm going to be gallivanting around the world for a while and I can't be taking my dress over. So I was like, who out of my friends can I trust? And

And no offence, Laura, but Keisha's name came before yours. It's because you know I will look. I will look. You've left really important things on your car a lot. They've flown off as you're driving. You lose everything. Guys, the other day we were walking to work and I was like, fuck my phone. And Keisha was like, yeah, it's in the console in the car. And I got back to the car and no, it was not in the console. It was on the roof. What?

I just left it on the roof of the car. You leave a lot on the roof, actually. Yeah, it's because, like, when I have full hands, I like to put some things on the roof and then I like to just walk away from it. But that's, we're joking. That's not it. Just pitch in Prince of Wedding dress on the roof. LAUGHTER

The Sydney Harbour Bridge on the way. It's just like flying through the air. No, it's not that I think you would forget it. I absolutely know you would get my address there if you had to. But I would look. But I know that you would look. I don't trust you in that way. I would take a little peek. You would, wouldn't you? Yeah. You probably tried on. Better. She posted the pic. 100%.

That's what you do. I just don't trust you not to pee. We once had someone wrote in on Ask Uncut and she walked in on her mother-in-law trying on her wedding dress. Her husband-to-be had let his mum try on his soon-to-be wife's wedding dress and, Britt, that would be me. I'll do it. Oh, that's for free to unpack. I'd get Matt to watch the door. That's so weird. It's so funny. It's so weird. I watch it.

Matt, watch the door. Make sure Britt doesn't come. So that is why I chose Keisha. Yeah, I understand. Don't be personal. Also, it was a choice as a friendship choice in terms of like you are- Hierarchy. I get it. Yeah, that sucks because you have been on the scene two to three years longer than Keisha, but irrelevant. She puts in the groundwork though. She works Delilah. It was a favor as well because my sister's traveling too and I said to Sherry-

I would love you to, but she's traveling with a baby. You're traveling with two kids. When you've got kids and all of their stuff that you're traveling with as well, it's too much to then put a potentially small or gigantic wedding dress into your luggage. A potentially small or gigantic three wedding dresses into your luggage. Multiple outfit changes. Am I going to be able to carry this? No. I actually don't think I'm going to be able to take any luggage over with me, am I? Because I'm just going to be lugging.

You're going to need a cart and potentially oversized luggage. Well, okay. Well, speaking of like luggage and how carrying things and all this, this is a nice segue into me talking about Africa. Okay. Okay. You're allowed. Thank you. Thank you. I really have been trying to hold this one in for a while. So if Matt makes it through to the final.

I will get to go to Africa with the girls, but it is like a blast trip. Like I would have to fly over there, get the girls over there. And then we would do like the reunion. Yay. Everyone's back together. And they get on a flight and come home. The problem is, is that the flight is horrific. It's like you fly from Sydney to Singapore, have a layover, Singapore to Johannesburg, Johannesburg to Hoardspritz or something in the middle of nowhere. Right.

It's like a little jungle town. And it's all through the night. So their Singapore layover is like middle of the night with two kids. So I potentially, if he's doing well and everything goes well, I will potentially get a call up like with 24 hours notice, I will have to rally the kids and be on a plane. I actually feel for you. I don't know how I am going to do anything.

essentially like 24 hour international flight by myself with two kids with only a one hour layover in Singapore and get them from one part of the airport to the other. I've got an idea.

Put them in a wedding dress bag and drag them along the ground. Just drag them. You're going to need to do the phone ahead where, you know, when you get off the plane, there's always people waiting with like the little carts. You're going to have to have a cart. I got my mum a cart. Did you? Yeah, my mum and I got a cart because we didn't have a very long layover. So we had to get on a cart. Not a wheelchair. I didn't put her in a wheelchair. It was like skewed.

We had to get there. I'm not worried about anything except for Lola. Like she's the wild card of our family. I have no idea how she's going to go. Marley, fine. Suitcases, predictable. Pram, also predictable. Lola, like who knows how that's going to go. And she's going through this phase at the moment. Hear me out.

So she's got this new thing that she does when she's really mad. So firstly, she used to go through a phase where she would hit me and now she's stopped hitting me. That's great. Because we had a big conversation about how you can't hit mummy. Like, you know, mummy doesn't hit you. You can't hit mummy. Like an anger response. Yeah. Yeah. Like when she's so filled with rage, she wants to hurt someone. Usually it's me. And she stopped doing that now. But now what she started doing is she's so filled with rage that she strips naked and moons me. So

So she is butt naked, like pulling her butt cheeks apart and screaming. Oh, she pulls them. You get the full bird's eye view. The full view. And all I'm imagining is being midnight in Singapore airport with a kid with no pants on screaming at me, mooning me. Where does that come from? Like has she seen that? Like that's a real –

A really particular thing to be like, I'm going to moon mum. Like I'm going to moon. You know what? I'm so angry. I'm going to pull my pants down and bend over. Like that is a real commitment to the anger. Have you never been so angry that you just wanted to bend over and pull your butt cheeks apart? Oh, you should see Ben and I when I fly. He takes it as an offer. He's like, that was quick makeup. Moon straight down the camera. I don't know where it comes from. It comes from like this inability to get the rage out. And so, yeah. It's.

It just gets naked and moons me. Do you know what? I can't respond to it because if I get angry or I get like, if I even say anything, all I'm doing is reinforcing that she's gotten a reaction from me. So I have to just walk away and then I start laughing because it's so ridiculous. But you can't let her see you laugh either. Of course not. It is the most ridiculous thing I've ever experienced. My child is so angry at me that she rips her pants off and moons me. But imagine how many relationships would be solved if that's the way you solved a fight.

Like, I actually think there's something in it. I'm getting assaulted by my four-year-old. But imagine if you guys were fighting, you and Matt, and then he just pulled his pants down and bent over. The fight would be over because you'd be like, it's actually really funny. I think that this is...

This could be like a conflict resolution. I think I'd get the ick for my husband. Are we going to do a social experiment the next time everybody argues? I'm going to do it. Next fight I have with Ben, I'm just going to bend over. The next fight I have with you, Brit, I'm just going to bend over. We both do it though. We're both looking over our shoulder.

We're just like fighting back and forth with our butts. And I'm just here going, we need a fucking HR department ace. Keisha's like SOS. I don't know how parents are in moments like that. I don't know how you have the self-control not to erupt with laughter. Like I don't know how you're able to, not just situations like that, but any situation where you know you have to not react and

I don't know how you control yourself when things are that funny. No, because you're also mad at the same time. You know, like I'm like if she's yelling at me and getting like frustrated and then she moons me. Like, yes, it definitely dissolves the situation quite fast, but I'm still annoyed that we've gotten to a point of this. You know what I mean? So like I don't feel like super joyful. I'm like, ah.

Oh, that's funny, Lola. I walk away and I do laugh, but I'm like, oh, this kid is testing me. Yeah, but surely that's a de-escalation from like hitting physically. Like surely it's a better thing. I would rather be mooned than be smacked in the face. Probably depends where you are though. Imagine if you get onto the I'm a Celebrity final and she's so mad. She just moons the live TV. She's like, fuck this.

This is the problem. If she hasn't had enough sleep, it's a very big possibility. So we shall see. Everyone keep watching. Also, please vote. Like just go and vote. If you haven't voted, I'll beg you. Britt will give you a puppy. Just vote, vote, vote. I've been giving puppies out for years. Years. From you. I will give a puppy out. Matt will. No, we do want to see him at the end. So do vote. And we want to see you in South Africa. That would be fun. Thank you. I want to see me in South Africa. I want to go on a safari.

I deserve it. It's actually incredible. I think I deserve it. So like, don't bother voting for him. It's a vote for Matt. It's a vote for me, everyone. The link is in the bio. Go and vote. It's a vote for Lola's butthole.

Well, just in case you don't know, and I don't want to rub this in for any of the single people that don't have a Valentine, but it's Valentine's Day on Friday. Man, that comes around quick, doesn't it? Yeah, but it doesn't matter if you're single. Then you have Galentines. Yeah. So you can celebrate with your bestie. Or Palentines, like a pal. Yeah. Or Dogentines. You can celebrate with your dog.

But it is Valentine's Day and since I've been with Ben the last two, three Valentine's Day. Dogentine shit happens. Did you see how I was like, we're really getting into grey territory there. I definitely tried to brush over it, but you brought it back. Oh, I didn't mean bestiality. I just meant like spend a day with your dog. Oh my God. We can't even talk about that. That's another thing. We'll get into it. No, I don't think we can.

We shall. Nothing here. It's just something we heard on The Great Vine. I think we need to be like nothing, no bestiality here. Happy Valentine's, everyone. Happy Dogentines. It's Valentine's Day. If you're listening to this on Wednesday, it's Valentine's Day in two days' time.

I am a lucky woman to have been as my partner. Like he's always been so romantic. Since I have met him, because we're long distance, he always like has been that person that sends me different kinds of gifts, not even for Valentine's Day. He'll send me things just to say I'm thinking of you. Like the cutest things. He sent me giant blown up cards before. There's just a picture of us that he blew up just to say I love you. Like he's such a sweet guy. I've just had a flashback. I think it was two years ago, but I can't be sure.

You and I were driving in the car on the way to work and we were talking about Valentine's presents and you and I were both saying what we hated and you were saying box flowers and I was saying teddy bears. I was like, it's really childlike, so strange. Why would you get someone that you love? And then you got home.

To box flowers in the shape of a teddy bear. Yeah. Yeah. They were like dried and meant to last for a year. That was a really low point for me. So I accidentally did shoot on a particular kind of present and that is what Ben had already ordered me. So there was a moment. Well, that has set the tone for our future Valentine's Day. So I did get an early Valentine's Day present from Ben. I guess when you send presents from overseas, you can't really work out the day that they're going to get there. So it came a couple of days early. Guess what I got?

Roses, which is also pretty triggering after being on The Bachelor. I got an entire care package of supplements. Supplements. I got... Multivitamins and iron. Oh, no. Collagen. Yep. I got a giant...

Protein powder. But did it come in the shape of a rose? That's the important thing. It was teddy bear protein powder. No, I got a giant protein powder, protein bars. Then I got amino acids, apple flavor. Then I got sent collagen. I got magnesium for recovery. And then I got creatine with a note that said, hey baby, creatine is really important for women and their brain function. Brain function specifically. Yeah.

He has researched that I need brain function help and put a supplement package together and sent it. And I couldn't stop laughing because I was like, this is not what I was expecting. But low key, it's the best Valentine's Day present I've ever received. I think it is a very thoughtful one considering that you're training a lot for Dancing with the Stars. So I'm for it. You're going to use that more than you're going to use a giant dried teddy bear flower. Like that's just, that just screams, I don't know you.

Also, I just remembered the best part about the teddy bear flowers was that he paid extra to have them last longer so that you could have them for like up to six months. And Brittany threw them away and he was like, hey, how are those flowers going? And you were like, they died, but they hadn't died. And that's how you got sprung. Sorry, Ben. But I just thought that was, if anyone's like...

thinking of Valentine's Day presents. I think it's really cool to maybe think outside the box and not necessarily be overly romantic. For me, I was like, this is actually so thoughtful. Like every single thing he bought me, it actually cost a lot to buy that stuff for yourself. And it's thoughtful because I evidently need some brain help.

But I need recovery help. Yeah, I don't know. I have conflicting feelings about Valentine's Day because obviously on one hand I work in retail and the creation of Valentine's Day was to help boost economy and help boost retail. You know what's a good gift? Tony May jewelry. Yeah, Tony May. Swipe up, swipe up. Both my husband and also.

So you get a puppy with a necklace. Tony May, hashtag. No, but it was, right? Like, so, I mean, this is probably a bit too much information, but statistically across retail, February is a very low month for sales. There isn't any event apart from Valentine's Day. And you've just gone through the massive sales of Black Friday, of

Christmas. You've then had your Boxing Day sales and January is kind of a bit of a no man's land. Like everyone's still on a high from Christmas, but then there isn't anything that gives you an uplift in retail sales apart from Valentine's Day. So it was really created as a commercial holiday, I guess.

And for me, I'm like, okay, it's nice. It's nice to have a day to like celebrate your partner, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But so much of the products that you can buy around Valentine's Day are just so deeply naff, like naff looking flowers, naff looking cards. For me, I'm kind of like, it's nice to do something special, but

I also have a bit of a, like an ick to the complete consumerism around absolute junk that's going to end up in a landfill very shortly afterwards. Like I hate it. Hence the protein powder. Yeah. Yeah. Creatine. That's what every woman wants. Who doesn't want brain function? Yeah.

Ask on a Saturday morning. It's just such a back-ending compliment though, isn't it? Do you know something that we are going to talk about, which does also kind of link into love? Brain function? Well, no, it doesn't link into brain function. It links into love and it links into love because it has something to do with maths. We used to do a segment on this pod like forever ago called Confessionals and it was absolutely

as much of a staple as what Accidentally Unfiltered is. And I received a couple of messages in the last week, and one of them in particular, which was like, hey, what happened to confessionals? They just disappeared one day and you guys stopped doing them. I also got the same message, so she really wanted it back, that girl. Guys, I got it.

She wanted to make sure that confessionals came back. I think we've all been creatine deficient. We've forgotten about it. All right. Well, there's one person who desperately wanted confessionals to come back. So Sally202, this is for you. No, we weren't thinking about it and we were talking about it in our WhatsApp group that we have. And some of the confessionals that we used to have come in, bought it on illegal to absolutely hilarious. And it was such a fun segment that we used to do on the show. So we're going to bring it back in light of masks,

In celebration of like the abomination and whatever, whatever we're going to call maths and whatever it is this year, we are bringing back confessionals and we both did individual call outs on our socials. Do you feel like this is just going to be indicative of like whose following is more fucked up? Like, cause we've both put in for the confessionals, yours and mine. No, there are some things that I cannot read out that you guys confess to because they are illegal or they are like so morally corrupt that

That I was like, I can't even read this out and then laugh about it because I feel so deeply uncomfortable. For anyone who's wondering, that joke that we made a couple of minutes ago surrounding bestiality is in reference to confessionals. Yes. So there is a line and some of you crossed it, but that's okay. Like we said, we listen and we don't judge. I judge that. Yeah.

The only thing I want to say on the bestiality before we get cancelled is not that this makes it, I don't know, it doesn't make it better. It wasn't penetrative. So like otherwise we'd, no, because otherwise I would have reported it. If you're fucking an animal, don't tell me because I'm going to report you. Like I will report you. That's our line.

How proud should we all be of ourselves that that's the line of moral obligation in our career? I think it's important because we do these call-outs for confessionals. The benchmark is that you're completely anonymous. We'll read them out. We'll all have a giggle. But you can kind of like absolve your sins. Tell us what you've done. It doesn't mean that you're not going to hell, but it just means you got it off your chest. However, if we did receive something that was

completely morally bankrupt and actually needed to be reported. Like illegal. Of course we would. So like, I know we make jokes, but like, let's just get that out in the open. Let's do this. But I did get some cooked ones. I'm going to kick this off. So here are your confessionals. When my husband goes down on me, I think of his dad. I'm not even that attracted to his dad, but it always makes me come fast.

I think you are attracted to your dad. You should never tell your husband that. That's not recoverable. I'm calling bullshit. You don't think about someone's dad if you're not attracted to him. There's some daddy. I just think about your dad. Tony, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

to this. I'm joking. She saw an opportunity. She took it. You're never going to be able to meet Tony in the flesh. She's picking him up for Dancing with the Stars in like a week. She's taking him to the concert. Well, it's going to be a fun night for you after that, isn't it? I said sorry, Keisha. My mum's there as well. Okay. Okay. I am never going to get that image out of my head, Keisha.

I caught my father-in-law on camera. Wow, another, sorry, I didn't even plan that. I caught my father-in-law on camera sniffing and licking my sex toys. You should hear his reason. She came in front of me. Then she did a dot, dot, dot and she didn't tell me. And I wrote back and I said, what's the reason? Let me see if she's written back right now. She caught her father-in-law sniffing

And licking her vibrator. I am. Report it. This is happening live. She's typing live. I've written back to her and said, oh my God, what is his reason? I need to know. It's the typing. I feel sick. I'm not well. Guys, is the anticipation killing you? It's been typing for a bit. Oh my God, I actually want to cry. Oh my God, are you? You are. You're crying. Like his reason. That means that she's confronted him about it and asked him why. Why?

Did she walk in on it? She caught him on camera, so she obviously confronted him and said, like, why were you licking my sex toys? But what reason do you come from that? I thought it was a lollipop. Okay. Oh, my God. This is happening live. We've got the sex toy message. I'm reading this for the first time. His reason for doing it. No. He knew that they were there, a.k.a. he admitted that he had gone through my wardrobe before. Like, this basket is high out of reach, out of sight of children or anyone for that matter. So he's known that they're there.

Because he knew they were there, the curiosity just got the better of him. So he said that. No. He said that his reason was just he was curious as to what her sex toys smelled like. He just said that. It's honestly the most horrendous situation I've been put in. And I got told I had to forgive him because I was putting a rift in the family. She told the whole family. So she got gaslighted into thinking. She got victim blamed.

She got dildo sniffing victim blamed by her stepdad. That is the most messed up story. Imagine being told you just had to get over that. You just have to get over it because you're causing a problem in this family. Not him breaking into your room and sniffing your sex toys. You could never sit around a Christmas dinner table again, could you? Wow. Wow. I'm never going to be the same person that I was before we did this. And this is maybe why we stopped doing this segment. I think it was. I would get the ick. Let's like nut this out for a second. Not the right term. Let's not nut this out.

I would get the ick if I found like my partner secretly sniffing my sex toys. Would you? Yeah. If you found out that Ben sniffed your sex toys, you'd have the ick from him. Would you leave him? If there was a camera in my room, it's different if like you were getting into it and he was using the sex toys and you're in it and then he like licked it for some, I don't know if that was a thing. You'd be like, okay, like I get that that's maybe a sexual kink, but it's different when it's like a secret. Like if there was a secret, oh,

Oh, if you saw Matt creeping in when you weren't there, getting that butt plug off the... Don't have a butt plug, but thank you. What was on? Yeah, you had a butt plug. Cock ring. Oh, cock ring. Okay, sorry. He snipped his own cock ring. Good for him. If you saw him getting... That wouldn't give you the it? No, not really. I'd just be a bit like, why? We wash it afterwards. It smells like deadol. Why'd you sniff that? Instead, the deadol's downstairs in the cupboard. It's disgusting. Go sniff the deadol. Okay, continue on. Okay.

One time I was dating this guy who I know had cheated on me. So I did a dump in his kitty litter tray. Oh, I got the same one. No, actually mine wasn't cheating. I took a dump in the guy I was seeing's cat litter box. Why? I asked her. I love, I'm really following up on the confessionals. Why? I said, I need context. Why? Were you breaking up? Was the toilet in use?

She said, oh my gosh. Well, we were sleeping together on and off and fast forward eight months in and we were back to being on again and I was trying to keep up the sex appeal. And so instead of making a massive splash in the toilet bowl when I took a shit, I thought it would be better to do it in the catty litter box. In the kitty litter box? No, none of that makes sense. I decided that it wouldn't make any noise. So off I went and took a shit there while he was asleep. I put some of the litter on top. She laughed at him.

No, she left it. She left it. She put the litter on top and just covered it. I'm sorry, a cat doesn't do a human-sized shit. He's going to know. He's going to know. Well, she reckons he woke up the next morning, saw it, picked it up with gloves, was like, whoa, that's a big poo, and then put it in the bin.

She reckons he didn't know. This can't be true. How big is your cat? Is it a lion? If it's doing a poo, like a human-sized poo? This can't be true. I think it's true. Wait, sometimes I feel self-conscious about Buster because Buster, this is too much information, Buster's poos are so gigantic that they look like a human poo. And like every so often if there's one in the backyard or something, I worry that a visitor is going to think I've just gone out and had a nature poo.

If I had any friend that I would think would do that. It was probably me. It's probably Laura. Bush poo. All right. Okay. Next one. I wipe my son's toilet training potty with my husband's towel because he is useless and incapable of doing it.

No. You should just leave your husband. If you're putting shit on your child's towel. No, I think what you do, because like when you have a kid's potty, you just rinse it and then you tip it into the toilet. So there's no poo or wee in it, but it's just like the water is in it. But it's obviously contaminated. It's definitely not clean. No dead oil in that yet. And she's just then wiped the inside out with his towel. You should just, if you feel that strongly about your husband, like leave him, I think, or go to therapy. This one's sad. He just keeps getting pink eye infections and wondering why. I know.

After 12 years of faking it, I came once last year. Sorry. I know. After 30 minutes of oral sex and now I'm just obsessed. Good for you. With what? What do you mean you're obsessed with cumming? So it's like something just got unlocked. No, it's only happened once. I think.

To me, I read that as like, I understand that as for the first time it happened and now I'm obsessed with it. So I think there's been subsequent ones. Because 12 years is a big faking commitment. Also, do you tell him after 12 years that that was the first time? He'll probably know. He's like, that's different. What happened? He's like, why are you screaming? Yeah.

Maybe it's a different person. Potentially. Good for you. Oh, maybe. Maybe. We're happy that you're living your best life. When I was a kid, I accidentally sat on my friend's guinea pig and I killed it. I never told her the truth and I acted totally dumb when she found it. She's lived with this lie her whole life. You sat on a guinea pig? I think you have to live with that lie. Yeah. If it's a complete accident. Have you heard Mitch Turi's story? What did he do? Like our radio, Mitch Turi. He had a pet guinea pig and-

He decided that he wanted it to be free, like live freely, which is great in theory in terms of like it was a free range guinea pig. They're not wild animals though. They belong in cages. No, but he wanted it to feel like it was free. So he built like a huge area in their backyard for it.

so that it felt like it was a free range guinea pig but they didn't put a canopy on it so they just put a little fence around the outside it had no ceiling and they were watching it out the back one day and they watched it happen live a hawk like a seahawk eagle came down and just picked it up and took it away in front of him he was like traumatized I was like what did you

think was going to happen when you had a free range guinea pig? You were asking for it. Anyway, rest in peace. Okay. My accident baby wasn't an accident. I did it on purpose. No, no, that's

No. Very bad. Yep, she did. You can't baby trap someone and then expect them to be. You did. Turned out well for me. She said it was the best decision she ever made. Okay. I put laxatives in my boss's coffee every single day because I can't stand the guy. Imagine your PA putting laxatives in your coffee and thinking you've got something wrong with your bowels. They probably think they've got bowel cancer. Or you've just made him regular.

And so when you stop being his PA, he's going to be super constipated and wondering why. No, I think that man's got loose bowels at about 11 o'clock every day and he doesn't know why. All right. That's what's happening here. I want to finish with the rankest one and then we're going to save and we're going to have to save some because they're too disgusting. I know this is bad, but when I was an apprentice, 16, me and the other apprentice used to chop up our toenails and add it to our really mean managers to bully lunch. Oh.

She never found out. She just thought it was crunchy. No, no, you would know. You would know that there's toenails in your tabbouleh. Not if you cut it real fine. That's a tabbouleh. It's a tabbouleh.

Well, speaking of mass confessionals, there was something that happened this week on the show that I'm actually still not 100% sure how I feel about it in my own relationship. And I wanted to ask both of you how you kind of conduct yourselves in this situation. Have you asked your partner to rank you by photo? Could you imagine? Did you rank photos? Rank Brit, Laura and I. Kiss, marry, fuck, kill, whatever it is.

I really do. We would pick. If you really want to blow up your relationship, just print off photos of all your friends and ask your partner to rank you. See how it goes. Well, this actually came off of the back of that insane, like how can we be at season 12 and they don't know how to do it? Fake it.

Fake it, fake it, fake it. Zip your fucking mouth shut and just do what you know is right, right? Well, we actually had a really, if you guys didn't hear it, so on the weekend's pickup episode that would have dropped on Saturday, like literally just a couple of days past, if you haven't listened to that, go back and have a listen because we interviewed John Aiken. One of the experts. Yes, expert, relationship expert. Obviously, like there's a lot of –

what's the right word because it's not controversial but a lot of people have some very strong opinions around the experts and why they pair the peoples together you know the different personalities I think it is controversial like I definitely felt it was controversial sometimes and I even said to John I'm like

Surely you're not doing this thinking that they're going to work out. Yeah, absolutely. And it's like, how can you as someone who is and does work as a psychiatrist or even as a counselor, like consciously and morally pair people together when it seems as though they're just going to destroy each other? Like surely that that is just a conflict of interest in terms of what you do for work.

John had a very interesting take on the ranking of people and how it really highlights someone's emotional EQ. And it's like, it is the writing on the wall for that relationship and the writing on the wall for whether that person understands the process of that experience.

experiment, right? Because it's like, it may take you quite a while to figure out someone's EQ, but that he's like, it's like black and white. If they've ranked you low down, you know straight away that they are someone who is like going to be so challenging for you to maintain or navigate a relationship with. He's like, and most couples just don't ever recover from that. Understandably. That's interesting. It's kind of like a fast way to

figure out that they're shit, that you've been matched with like a shit dude. Well, actually, that is exactly what happened with this particular couple I'm talking about. So Ashley and Jake, they are the ones who were both teachers and the story of Jake would

It looked like he was just this really lovable kind of geeky PE teacher who was ready to be in a good relationship. And then the way that his character was positioned to be this really, really lovely guy. And then the photo ranking challenge happened. And the things that he said about all of these other women just took a cliff dive. Like it was just like, oh my gosh, was that,

Like, were you hiding who you were? Some of the things that he said about the other women, which his partner, his wife, Ashley, had a real issue with, were things like, she's got crazy eyes. She looks like she'd stand at the end of a bed and murder you in the night or stand with a knife or something like, I'm paraphrasing, but you get my point. Basically, he was talking about all of these women in really, really derogatory ways that were quite

strange, like completely unnecessary. He could have just said, that's how attractive I think they are. That's not for me. Yeah. And one other thing that he said that was deeply problematic was I'm not racist, but I'm into Caucasians, you know, like there's a difference between having a preference for a physical attribute and trying to claim that you're not

like racially, you know, motivated to pick a certain person. But I don't know. I also kind of think in these instances it really highlights like his behavior and the things he was saying. He's tried to pass it off as though he was just making a joke. And I think it shows how much some people don't understand the line of negging. And it's like that's not a joke. It's actually really fucking mean what you've just said.

And trying to pass it off as a joke and telling me that I don't get your humor. Those excuses don't fly anymore, I think, in terms of relationships. And I think that people are very aware. Mm-hmm.

And when you see it play out on TV, it really makes you go, wow, like he's a flog. That's your first reaction to that. And exactly like what John said, that actually just shows me that they have no emotional intelligence. So this thing happened after the photo ranking challenge. So Ashley went and spoke to what I'm assuming was probably her closest friend on the show in Sierra. And she kind of vented about what Jake had said. And I'm assuming that she was kind of a bit like, hey, this really, really fucked up thing just happened. And I need to talk to someone about it. And I need to unpack it with somebody. Yeah.

What happened the following day was where I really started to raise my eyebrows because Ashley sat down with Jake and she basically said to him, hey, just so you know, it's obviously going to come up on the couch with the experts and everyone in the same room. I did go and talk to Sierra about this and her husband Billy was there as well. So I spoke with both of them about some of the things that you said in the photo ranking challenge about the other women. And it was Jake's response that I really kind of gasped at. And I don't know whether...

I don't know whether everyone feels this way, but essentially this is what he said. I am shocked to hear that, you know, my own wife's like talking about me behind my back. Yeah, I'm a bit fired up at the moment. Yes, I am regretting going in and talking to Sierra and the way I've gone about it all. I'm not someone who like kind of airs the dirty laundry around. I wouldn't do that to her.

It's knowing that Ash went behind my back. Yeah, she's broken my trust. If you have a situation unfold within your relationship, is it okay to go and air the dirty laundry? Is it okay to talk about the things that you have a problem with with your friends? Or is that being disloyal to your partner?

I think there's two sides to this question because what happened in this particular relationship is that she went and told the people that he was speaking about what he had said about them. So there's two different things, right? Like she's gone and reported that, hey, my husband said all these shitty things about you.

That's different to going and unloading on a friend about other issues. Unloading partial. Yeah, well, other issues that you might just be having in your relationship. It's one thing to go and say to your friend, Ben and I are having these huge fights at the moment. He's been doing this. I don't agree with this. It's another to go and say, hey, Ben,

Ben said that he hates you because you're a bitch. Do you know what I mean? Like it's different when you're unloading and actually hurting someone's feelings by telling them what your partner did. For me, that's very evident that she didn't want that relationship to work and maybe in that situation it was just –

a TV situation. I don't want to just put it all on maths, but reality TV does make you do things that maybe you wouldn't have normally done in a relationship that wasn't being filmed to create a drama. I agree with you to some extent, but also when you think about it in the closed network of the show, the only people that she does have to speak to about something that she's unhappy with in her relationship, if she needs to confide in someone or she needs to vent about her partner,

the only people that she has to do that with are other people from the show. And so she's chosen someone who she thinks is one of her close friends who wasn't necessarily the main target of the things that were said, you know. But I do think it raises a bigger question because she's

I think it's normal and natural to speak to your friends when you are in conflict with your partner. You know, it's normal, especially as women. And I don't want to gender stereotype, but I think it does play a role. We do talk to our friends when we're feeling that there's conflict in our relationships, that there is a line as to how much do you share? And are you sharing it because you're frustrated or are you sharing it because you're trying to paint them in a certain way? But I also think that it can come down to this idea of like,

you can overshare to your friends about your partner. And sometimes if you are an oversharing type, personality type, you may be inclined to overshare on the negative things because they're the stuff that you need to talk about more. They're the things that you need to vent about. And then I guess like, where is the line between when it's venting and it turns into what feels like or might feel like character assassination if you were the partner to be the, you know, the fly on the wall in that situation? I think

It is very healthy and normal to talk to your friends about your relationship grievances. However, I also think that if you were on the flip side of it and it was you found out that your partner had been sharing that information, you would also feel a level of hurt. So there has to be some understanding of, okay, how would they feel if they knew that I was saying something?

Am I reporting on my biased side of this argument? What I felt was the case from this argument? Am I painting them in a way that makes them look like a total asshole when they're not a total asshole? I think that they're all questions because it depends on what's being done, right? Like, I mean, I know that, for example, when I was going through my ex situation where I was getting cheated on and everything else,

a manipulation tool that was used in that relationship was to make me feel bad for talking to my sister or to my mom about the fact that he cheated on me because he was like, well, now your family are going to hate me. Why did you tell your mom? Because now I can never go and see your family again at Christmas time or whatever, because they're going to hate me. And

At the time, I had this real sense of guilt because I was like, fuck now. Now, like, yeah, my parents and my family are angry at him and my friends are angry at him. And now we're never going to be able to be this like cohesive friendship group. But looking at it now that I'm out of that relationship, I'm like, oh, no, that was accountability for your actions. Like you had toxic behavior. You did really bad things in that relationship. And you would punish me when I spoke about it to my friends because it made you look bad. I also think you can fall into a trap of

only sharing the negatives of a relationship and then your friends, I mean, your friends are always going to be biased. They're always going to take your side and be understanding of what you're saying. They're going to relate to situations that you might've been into the past, but those situations with people close to you are biased. They're going to 90% of the time, made that statistic up, most of the time, they're going to take your side.

unless they are going to be really objective, which doesn't happen often when a friend comes to you and they want to vent and they want to talk about something shitty that someone has said or done. You're always going to be like, I totally feel you. I hear you. They're going to be a great person. So I think you have to be really careful to sort of like compliment sandwich it in a way, like make sure that you are sharing the good things as well, unless there aren't any good things. And then maybe you do need to hear some tough love from your friend, but you need to be careful who you pick because

And what you share, I think there are different friends and family members for different things. Yeah, totally. I actually agree with that. And I'm trying to think about that in my own situation. I'm very much the type of person who feels like I need to talk with my friends when I have issues. But I think it's because I am fortunate enough, and both of you have done this quite a number of times for me, I don't think that you give me particularly biased opinions.

You know, I know that you have my best interests at heart. And so both of you have said things to me before where you've kind of been like, yeah, but maybe this is where he was coming from. Or maybe you should think about it from this particular perspective or could this have been what he meant? And that's actually been really, really helpful for me.

I think the one thing that I've tried to be careful of, and this is only because I've done it wrong before and had to then learn from that, is picking people to talk to who are not going to hold onto that grudge with your partner if you do repair things. You know, there's some friends who...

It depends on what the thing is though. It does depend on how bad it is. It depends on what the grievance is because sometimes, you know, sometimes we're in relationships and we can forgive but it takes our friends who have seen the hurt and seen the damage that that person caused a lot longer to forgive because, I don't know, I mean they don't have as much skin in the game. They don't understand why there's this forgiveness there and they've seen or heard all the bad things. They've been there for all the crying and the discussions around like what it was that –

I keep saying he, but it obviously works both sides. But whatever it is that they've done and then it's like this emotional whiplash from your friends as well that they have to be like, cool, all right, now we're okay again, I guess. You're a good guy. It is a double-edged sword though because when you flip it and put yourself in the situation,

if you have a really big fight with your partner and then he goes and tells his friends or his family and he tells you, my initial response would be like, why did you go and tell everyone? Now they're all going to hate me. So I understand from both sides but there is an aspect of everyone in a relationship needs to understand that it is not healthy and it is not natural and normal to keep everything to yourself. Like that is an impossible ask of any situation. Everyone is going to share something with one person. Even –

I believe this. I genuinely believe this. People that say, I promise I will never tell a soul a secret, they're lying. Every single person will tell someone. You say that to me all the time. Sorry. Sorry, Kisha. No, do you know what I mean? I agree with what you're saying. I do think that people can keep secrets. No. No, let me finish that. But I think...

You should be smart enough to think that maybe they won't because there will be secrets that you tell someone in life and they are so incredibly trustworthy that they don't share it with another person. But the problem is, is that often they tell one person that they think is trustworthy. And the issue is that they're a little bit removed from the promise of

And so then they can tell someone else. And then that's how it spreads is because there's this like lack of feeling as though that they have a sense of responsibility to the promise that was made. Well, there's loads of research on it. It could be really interesting to talk about it more. There's loads of research on the fact that it's almost impossible for someone to keep a secret.

And not share it in some capacity to feel a weight, even if it's with their closest person that they trust, their loved one or their partner, or they have to write it down in a journal to feel like they're not carrying the weight of it. There's a lot of research to say that not many people can literally have the saying, I'll take it to the grave. Hence why we now have confessionals back for you to all absolve yourself of your sins. I have an experience that happened to me and Matt when we were away in Australia.

I think it was with my sister and my brother-in-law. It was like our honeymoon, but we went away on like, it was kind of like a honeymoon and my sister's 40th all kind of merged in together. When you got kids, it's kind of different. You don't, you don't get to celebrate the normal milestones that you might do if you do things in like the traditional linear pattern. So we were away and we had like a little tiff over something that was nothing, but I was a bit pissed off at Matt. I can't remember what it was, but in the scheme of things, it was just like, we just annoyed each other really. And,

And I'd gone into the bedroom to ask my sister something and I was like, I just like had a moan about him. I was like, oh, fucking Matt, blah, blah, blah, whatever it was. And I was very much in the wrong. It was an unnecessary moment for me to vent. It was not going to be a long stemming issue in our relationship. He just pissed me off and I could have gotten over it and I didn't really have to tell anyone. But I chose to. And I told my sister and Matt overheard. And he was...

He was so hurt. He called me aside and he was like, hey, I know you're mad at me. He's like, but what you just did is so much worse. He's like, you –

just painted me in a certain way to your sister. We're all on holidays together. Like, why make me sound like I'm an asshole? He's like, what are you going to gain from that? And he absolutely was right. But in my defense, I'm like, it's my sister. Of course I complained. I complained about everything. You do it every day. You just don't know. You usually don't hear it. Literally. And it was, it was a real, like, kind of like,

about him holding up a mirror to the fact that sometimes the complaining we just do it because it's making conversation it's not actually something that's necessary it doesn't necessarily move the relationship forward and so I think that it's being aware of like where that line is absolutely have the big conversations that you need to vent and get off your chest but if you're just bitching about your partner to bitch about them like that really erodes someone's

Well, one, if they find out about it, it erodes their fucking trust in you. But secondly, it erodes that person's opinion of your partner. And that sucks as well because Matt's amazing. And I would hate to ever influence Alicia's opinion of him. Yeah, but I think, I don't know. My opinion on that is I actually think it's okay that you were complaining about something insignificant to the closest person in your life. The problem is he heard it. Yeah, you're just going to be more sneaky. And I don't know.

like bitch behind people's backs, but like it's... Do it better. If you complain, if that was me in that situation and you complained about something insignificant, it doesn't change my opinion of Matt. I'm just like, yeah, feels girl. Like, you know, we all go through it. It's just unfortunate that Matt heard that and then that escalated the situation. I just think it's truly impossible for everyone or anyone to live...

a life and have a relationship and be in those situations where you never vent about your partner. There are no two humans in the entire world that don't annoy each other in a relationship or don't have issues or don't have roadblocks.

It's a natural part of a relationship. I think it's just, you've got to be careful of the frequency, who you're doing it to, are they going to find out? And also I think it's about be selective about what you share. Yeah. I think that that would be the other thing. Can I give my take on this particular situation? Because Jace ended up leaving the show because he was basically held accountable. The reason I had such a reaction to it is because of exactly what you discussed about your ex-boyfriend who was

was questioning why you would go and talk to your mum and your sister about, you know, the cheating. Oh yeah, it's a manipulation technique. I actually thought that this was incredibly manipulative. These people have been married on a show, you know, like they haven't known each other for very long. So it's not like she would have seen the warning signs of him actually being like this for very long. I think they've known each other for like three weeks by this point. So...

So I think it was incredibly reasonable for her to need to go and talk to someone about it because of how confronting the things that he had said were. And so him flipping that and being like, wow, you really broke my trust. I'm like, you only have three weeks worth of trust built. Yeah, you don't have trust yet. She's actually just so like...

she's finding you so abrasive because of what you've said. And I thought, no, that was you not being accountable for the things that you'd said. And I think that that's why he ended up leaving the show because he didn't want to take accountability for it. And he was held accountable by everyone in the room and the three experts. And I think that that was why I was like, oh,

no, she had every right to go and talk to someone about that because she was so confronted by it. And now you flipped it. And then I started to think, well, when this happens in my relationship, am I doing the wrong thing by going and talking to you guys about it whenever I have problems? Like I wasn't sure whether that was me actually doing the wrong thing, but I guess it's one of those situations where it kind of depends on what's happened and who you're talking to. Ah, maths, providing the never ending source of like what not to do in your relationship. A lot of people

People seem to be like making some hasty exits on maths this season. I think they're in for some – I don't think they've had this many maths exits. Yeah, I don't know. I feel as though it's like they're in the 12th season now. I think that people are clocking on to the fact that, you know, they're going to be made out to be the villain. And so instead of staying around and being able to be torn to shreds, they're kind of like just cutting their losses and going, I'm out. Yeah, but it's interesting because up until other seasons –

everyone's always been like, why don't these people just leave? And then they're like, I have to stay on the couch and it's got to be like, you know, two stays and everyone's got to be in unison. But now it's like people are not abiding by the maths rules anymore and they're just leaving whenever the fuck they want to leave, which would be an absolute producer nightmare for how to run this show. But it does make it interesting. Three men. Have gone. Only men. Well, there'll be more in store.

Anyway, guys, it is time for our suck and sweets of the week. What is your suck, Brittany? My suck is this don't come from me. It's so top level. But I ordered a huge extra large tub of ice cream delivered to my house. Like it's what I do. It's just what I do. You've probably saw in my stories. But

They're pretty expensive. It's like 50 bucks for the proper ice cream from like the Messina's and the Anita's. You know, like the luxurious ice cream. For a tub now, delivery, it's 50 bucks. For like a one litre tub. Oh, I might... Sorry, it was 1.5. Of course it was. But also that's fucking madness. So... It's an ice cream. Yeah. I ordered it and I made the decision to go try a new flavour that I didn't like and I...

That I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I thought I'd love it. I got it, 50 bucks. I went hard. I got half a tub worth of the same one and I didn't like it. So I was pretty upset by that. That's devastating. It is devastating. You're going to be okay. Top level, top level devastation. I would have thought that your suck would have been that like truly horrific video you posted on your Instagram of you just like smacking Craig in the face with your butt again. My dance partner. With a butt. It was with a bed.

Yeah, sorry. I was trying to be a bit more diplomatic, but yeah, sure. With the front butt. I did get stuck around. My crutch got stuck around my dance partner's neck. Yes. And I happened- Not deliberately. Not deliberately. I did happen to have it on film. It's on my Instagram if you missed it. That's actually my suite. And I say that because I'm having so much fun dancing. The fails of my dancing are the funnest part. Like I'm just laughing so much. I'm going to training and I'm sore and I'm battered. We're bruised.

But we're trying all these new things, all these lifts that you're supposed to be able to do and they're not working. And I love it because I can't stop laughing. Like I'm just in hysterics. I haven't laughed so much in so long. And I know that, well, I don't know. I have high hopes I'm going to get them before the show.

I have high hopes I'm going to get them. We're really practicing hard and there's been a few times that we are getting them. It's just not happening every time at the moment. But I love the fails. Like they're my favorite part of the dance practice. It's also just really cool to like do something completely new as an adult and try a new skill and like get good at something that you actually find challenging. Yeah. That was probably the biggest thing that I loved about Dancing with the Stars. I was like, this is not easy for me and it feels really challenging and I enjoy getting better at it. Like I'm not good, but it was like, it was great.

I don't know. I really loved it. Yeah, I'm having the time of my life and I'm really trying to...

Okay. I read an article that Zendaya wrote recently and did you, I don't know if you guys saw it. So did you know Zendaya was on Dancing with the Stars? Yeah. Like she's done like loads of seasons. Yeah. She did. She was 16. She, have you seen her dances? Yeah. She's like, she's one of those people that she's incredible. Her jive dance is like one of the dances that went down in history. It's amazing. Well, when I, when I read this article, I was like, wow, I didn't know Zendaya was on Dancing with the Stars. And I went and watched her dancing and I was like, how did you not win that? She's incredible. She is like a quadruple threat.

She's a model. She sings. She's beautiful. She's nice. She's an actor. She dances. Like she's incredible. Anyway, something that she wrote in the article, cause she was 16. She wrote the article recently as like reflecting back, um,

And she said, I wish I had fun on it. She's like, I didn't have fun. I took it so seriously. And you get so stressed about competing and being in it and nailing it and not getting the move. She's like, I wish I just went back and enjoyed it for what it was. Really fun time to learn something new, to dance, to enjoy. Like dancing is incredible. And so because I read that, I'm looking at it differently. Like it's a competition. Of course, I want to win the mirror ball competition.

But I don't even have that in mind. Every day I'm like, this is one opportunity that I'll never get to do again and I just want to enjoy it. It's a better process now because I'm not stressing because I get really anxious in competitions. I'm a competitive person but I don't enjoy competition, if that makes sense. Like I want to do the best I can do but it gives me wild anxiety thinking that people are going out being like, I'm going to smash her. No one doing Dancing with the Stars is thinking, I'm going to smash her. No.

It hasn't, no. Harry. So I watched Harry's story. So Harry's been released on Dancing with the Stars and the other day I watched- Harry who? Harry is a boxer. Oh.

I saw Harry's story and it really scared me because he was like, I'm coming for you guys, whoever's on. He's doing the fight shit talk. Yeah, but it was funny. He wasn't being mean or anything, but he was like, there's been some other people released on dancing. I'm coming for you. We're coming for you dogs. And he said, dog? And I was like, oh my God, he's coming for me. I'm the only other person released. And then I got wild anxiety. So I don't like competition like that. But yeah. Yeah.

So that's my suck and my sweet. Well, my suck for the week is I had a really hectic night with Lola last night. It took me two and a half hours to get her into bed and a few screaming matches. Britt, you were on the phone for some of it. I did witness it, yeah. Britt called me yesterday and I was like, sorry, I've just been sitting outside under the sprinkler. And Britt was like, what?

what? I was like, are you okay? Do you need a dog? And I just needed, I was, it was such a hot day in Sydney and I needed to escape the kids for a bit. I'd put them to bed and I was like, I wanted so bad to go for a swim, but I didn't get to the beach. And so I was like, okay, I'm just going to go and sit under the hose. And it was probably the best,

10 minutes of the day. I did have a mental image of what it was going to look like. It didn't look good. And I didn't even put swimmers on. I just sat in my underwear and my bra and knickers in my backyard under the sprinkler. Yeah. I was like, wow, is this where we are in life? No, it was a really hard night just trying to get the kids into bed. And it went on for over two hours of non-stop repetitive yelling in protest about wanting to go to bed. So that was a tricky night. Did you try mooning her?

Yeah, that's what you should have done, mooned her to a room. Not having anyone to tag team with when the parenting gets hard is really, really full on. And then my highlight for the week is that Marley had her first day of school. So Marley's been to school for two days now and she absolutely blitzed it. She's so brave. She's so confident. Oh, and now it's her reward. She's going to South Africa. Two days, I'm pulling you out.

You're a child genius. Yeah, but she did really, really well. And they had like some learning, reading tests and stuff. And she blitzed it because she's like a little child genius. And yeah, it was just, it was really sweet. And then getting there in the afternoon to pick her up. Although to all the moms out there who had to deal with like the shorter hours of

So like kinder for the first week or two is like starts at 9.30 and finishes at 2.30. So you get to work, you've literally just done a few emails and then you're back at the school to pick them up again. I don't understand how so many people can physically do that. Like people with nine to five jobs, that's asking a lot. No, they can't. But you have to just like figure this week of school out, right? Like you just make...

you make sacrifices. You tell work that you've got to finish early for a week because you've got to pick your kids up. But I came into school and she was so excited when she walked out of her little classroom with her teacher and everything and she was sitting there with a hat on that they'd made and they'd coloured it in and I had like my first day of kindy. So cute. It's just the cutest thing I've ever seen. Wholesome. Yeah. And then I cried. We love that. So cute. In the car by myself. She's really growing up.

I know. I was like, I just remember when she was a tiny baby and now she's at school. Yeah. That's it. Like, Keisha, you look like you're going to cry. She's just so cute. I have such a, sorry, Lola, I love you too, but I have such a soft spot for Marlee May. I just think she's such a beautiful little girl and like,

I was at your house a couple of weeks ago and I was like, show me your school uniform. And she was like running me through, this is my dress and then this is the winter one and like this is what I'm going to wear. And she's talking me through like how to get herself ready for it. And also like I think because she started a little bit later. She's ready. When they're like on that cusp between five or six,

So like, no, four or five. She started when she's five. She's not six. But she was just so ready. So like she ran into school. Like she was so excited. And her little buddy was waiting there for her. Aw, stop it. Kill me. Anyway, guys, that is it from us. Hopefully I'll be in the African jungle, but who knows? Good luck. Go vote for Matt. This is the last time I'm going to say it.

Actually, do we end on that? No. Yeah, it's the last one. Let's wrap it up. It's the last one. I'm not going to say it again, but please, please, please, please, please, please. Sprit, we did say it this much for you. Don't worry. No, we said it every single episode for you. Yeah, I'm all about it. But I think it's the last time today. Hey, everyone, please vote for Matt. We'll link it in the show notes. And you know the drill. Yeah.

Keep sending your accidentally unfiltered zine, your confessionals, anything that you want us to know. We'll always give you anonymous. Send it to Instagram and just put at the top like Ask Uncut or confessional, whatever it is so we can like put them into a nice tiny little pile. Yeah, give us a review. If you haven't reviewed us, a good five star. Don't give us a two review. Like that'd be me.

Yeah, it's interesting when people sometimes write amazing reviews. Like, the review is incredible. The reviews are like, couldn't love this more. Love the girls, love every episode. Then you get like a two star. It's because they've hit the wrong button. And I'm like, how has that happened? We got one recently that said something along the lines of, I just want to be best friends with all of you.

And it was four stars. I was like, what does it take to get the fifth one? What does it take? It's so funny. But anyway, leave us a review only if it's good. And don't forget, tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love.