The Best Of The Pick Up - He...Now Wants A Baby
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This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is our radio show, The Pickup, where we package up all the best bits from what's been on air this week and we bring them here to you. Not the worst bits because we wouldn't do that to you guys. Well, there are no bad bits. Sometimes that just goes to air and we can't control it. You're not selling it.

Laura. I am. This is a great show because it's curated. What was the bad bit that we cut out? None. Do you know what? It's not about the bad bits. It's just sometimes we retell stories. So I talked about Lola and her nappies on the pod this week and then I also was like, I'm dry for content. I'm dry like Lola's nappy. And so I told the same story on radio and we would never subject you guys to that. Is...

Or is that an average age to like wean off a nappy? Well, I didn't wean her off her day nappies. She hasn't worn a day nappy in like years. But she wears a night nappy. Yeah. Because like. You're unconscious. Well, yeah. You never know how you're going to respond when you're four years old. You've got a full bladder and it's warm in your bed. When was the last time you wet the bed? Oh, I still have. It was recently, wasn't it? I have vivid memories. I would have been like 14 or 13. Like I was like midway through high school. And I remember. So you were 17. 17.

It was with my boyfriend. You're like, okay, was that my wedding? No, I remember having a vivid dream that I was in a pool, but there was no toilet around the pool. Like there was no public toilets. And I was like, well, what am I going to do? I can't get out of the pool and like wee on the side, so I'll just wee in the pool. And I remember contemplating it all in my dream and going through it all. Anyway, I woke up midstream in my bed, obviously just peeing myself. And then I had to go and tell my mum and my mum said,

did not give the reaction that you would expect a mum to give. Like I would have expected a little bit of sympathy or like, gosh, what happened? And my mum was like, what? What?

You did what? Like she was mad and she was so confused because I was way too old to pick the bed. You're 15. Your mum taps out of bed waiting at like 8. Yeah, and she was like, I'm sorry, but I don't know what you want me to do about it. The linen press is there. Yeah, change it yourself. It's the middle of the night. Go figure it out yourself. Nah, if I'm 15, mate, I'm not telling my mum I wet the bed. You fix it on your own. What do you want her to do? Hey, Mum. What do you want her to do? Get up and wipe your butt? I wanted her to come and help me because I'd never done it before. I didn't know. I was like, what do I do? What do you want?

Where do I put the linen? You just put some newspaper down, didn't you? I just sprinkled kitty litter on the bed. This will fix it. No, I still think about that from time to time. Do you know what I just thought about?

I remember I must have been 20, let's say 27, and I was in New Zealand with my sister on a little holiday. And we were there for like two weeks snowboarding and stuff. And I met this guy and we'd sort of hung out every day on the slopes and like the aperitifs, like, you know, like the, you ski down the bottom and you have a beer and it's like a whole thing when you're in the snow. And so we'd been seeing each other for a couple of days and then we started to hook up. Anyway, the first night that we hooked up, like slept together, we were like,

Like he was seen at my apartment and I heard him get up and I was like, oh, he's going to the bathroom. He got up. It wasn't in the bed. And then I just heard...

And I was like, what is going on? And I looked up and flicked the light on and he was just, he just stood up out of bed, turned around and was weeing all over the bedside table, over the phone, over his wallet. And I was like, what the hell are you doing? But he was fully asleep. I think a lot of people listening to this will have horror stories and I don't want to gender bias it, but I would say it is more frequently men than women, especially when drink is involved, who get up and weep.

Maybe actually we just hear more stories because... Women don't tell everyone.

I have definitely been in a situation where I was seeing a guy and he had had a blinder of a night and I was staying at his house and I woke up in the morning and I had set my alarm really early because I had to go to work and I was not drinking and I woke up and I thought I'd had a hot sweat because I was so clammy and then I realised the doona was wet and the sheets were wet and he just wet the bed. Did you draw attention to it? Yeah, I woke him up and told him and then he cried. Bro, you've wet the bed, go get my mum. Yeah.

I've called my mum. She's on her way over. She's gone to Linden Cup and she's gone away. Mum, what do I do? Anyway, we actually did have a really big show this week. I shared a story about how I recently discovered that Marley

Has been writing letters to a particularly unusual pen pal. Oh, yeah. Ten points if you can guess who this is. You're never going to get. And also, like, my mother-in-law has facilitated this. Like, Ellie has been sending these letters on. Marley writes cards. She writes letters. Ellie fills out the envelope and pops them in the mail and off they go. It's the strangest pen pal I have ever heard of. And I'm really hoping it starts to be reciprocated. Same. Some insider goss we might get. Also, like, how...

like how many letters has a girl got to send before she gets a reply? Yeah, we've all been ghosted. Marley, don't worry. We also have a lot of Mavs chat this week. We're speaking to Athena from Mavs. You guys, if you've been following along, she's having some pretty big issues with her partner on the show and it was really nice for her to spill the tea. Yeah, and we also talked about Tony who has potentially made up a baby, a fake baby to get out of his fake relationship and the fake wedding that he had on Mavs. So there is a little bit of Mavs stuff, but we hope you all enjoy it. Let's get into it now.

What I'm about to tell you is easier for me now that I'm engaged. It doesn't hurt me as much as it would have a couple of years ago, but I have some really grim news for the dating single community in Australia. Look, if people are like actively dating, do we want to cut them down while they're trying? I think they need to be equipped.

with all the information possible to find their soulmate. As someone who was on that dating scene for a long time, and I love love, we need to arm the people with the right information. Yeah, but unfortunately in this instance, it means that they might need to evacuate the country. Evacuate. Well, timeouts 2025's best cities in the world to date and...

worst cities in the world to date list has been revealed. Now we're talking about the entire world and Australia has had two cities come in the top 10 of the worst places to be if you're single. To be fair though, when I read that, part of me was not surprised. I mean, I think before I met my husband, I dated three quarters of everyone who lived in Sydney. I shouldn't say that. It makes me sound like I really kind of like went around on a rodeo. You did though, but that's okay.

I exhausted Tinder until it told me there was nowhere else to go many times and it was very deflating. Well, the cities are, not to get too bogged down, the cities are Sydney and Brisbane. I'm sorry if you're in Sydney or Brisbane. Tough. But I would go so far as to say, so I spent most of my 20s travelling the world. Like I dedicated my life to travel. I've been to nearly 60 countries. I have...

I've dated at every country, city, race, colour, religion, occupation, height. You name it, I have been on a date with it. I was inside the box, outside the box. I was reaching for my soulmate. So I feel quite experienced. You were single but you were actively dating. That was a nice way to sum it up, yeah. Yeah.

And I will say, as much as I'm patriotic and I love Australia, Australians are probably the worst people that I have dated, like in terms of country. That's so rough though. But it's the truth. Why? And sometimes the truth hurts. Well, I've spent a lot of time trying to think why. And what I will say is, because I'm now marrying a European, the difference is I truly found Australians hard to date.

because I don't find the effort there. There's no effort. We're a very laid back country and everything is like, hey, let's catch up on the weekend. That's their version of a date. And then it comes to an hour before you're supposed to go on the date and you'll have to chase it up. And they'll say, oh, do you know what? Something came up. Let's do it next week. There's no effort. There's no courting or romance. And this is quite a blanket statement. Obviously, there's some amazing men out there.

But I'm comparing them to like our European counterparts who I have found put in so much more effort when they are interested in someone. Like a little bit more intentional dating, you think? Intentional dating. To be fair though, I found myself in so many situationships when I was dating. And for anyone who doesn't know what a situationship is, it's when you are pretty much boyfriend and girlfriend, but the person or maybe it's you like

Can still sleep with who they want. Yeah, it's like neither of you want to put a label on it. But in my case, like I wanted to put a label on it and they just never did. I think it's because we do have this real sort of opportunity of choice. Like when it comes to online dating in particular, a lot of people are like, I don't want to settle because maybe something better will come along. And so instead of like investing in one person, we're almost investing in too many people at the one time.

So it's really hard to kind of go, okay, this is the person I want to be with because everyone's like, oh, but if I keep swiping, maybe there'll be someone hotter that might come up in my radius. Yeah, but I think that that also happens in a lot of countries. I don't think that's just Australia. I think it's literally just the way we approach life. Like there are so many of our American friends that come over and I say American friends as in like –

Hollywood, famous people, whoever, they come here and say the same thing. Like we're casual. We're just so casual. The effort isn't there. Like I'm trying to think back to someone that's put the most effort into any of my dates that was Aussie and I think it was just –

I think it was someone that took me to dinner and didn't even eat dinner. Like the person took me to dinner and I just ate in front of him. This was the best date or the worst date? No, I'm just saying the most effort. Like every time I think of some of the best dates I've been on, they're almost always foreign. They were always in a different country. It was always like over in England or London, America, Europe, like anywhere but Australia. Yeah, but on the counter to this is...

The counter to this is the debate around not wanting to come on too strong. I think we've been fed this idea that if you're upfront about what you want or you come on too strong that you're going to scare someone away. So it's really hard, I would say for men as well, like to know whether you be intentional about it or whether you be casual because you don't want to scare the person away. Like the messages around dating are very confusing.

It's hard. That's why I went on a reality show to meet my husband. Well, yeah, I only ever met people on dating apps in other countries. I literally told Matt on the second date that I was looking for marriage and children. So talk about coming on a trip. Oh, yeah, wow. Laura came in really hot. Well, if you do want to know where to go, the top cities and countries were India, China, Indonesia.

There you go. Random. Wouldn't have picked it. Wouldn't have picked it. Is India up there because also often it's like organised for you as well? I mean, there's a big organised dating scene in India. I think it's also a population thing. It has the highest population in the world. There's a lot of choice. It's really hard to get to the end of Tinder in India because there's just so many people to choose from. It's infinity. Tinder is infinity there. Maybe I would have done better there. Off you go. Oh, no, you're too late now. You're good.

Now, the show that everyone across the country is talking about, as they always are, it is Married at First Sight. And if you were across last night's show, something went down on the couch when they were sitting across from the relationship experts. So Athena and Adrian, they are the couple that are at ground zero of a bit of controversy at the moment regarding a promo shoot that Adrian was unfortunately a bit butthurt about that he got left out of. And also exciting.

comes down to this commitment ceremony. You know when one person writes leave and the other person writes stay? So Afina, she wanted to leave the experiment and Adrian decided to stay. But we have Afina on the phone. Afina, welcome to the show. Hello, thank you for having me. Afina, I have...

have a question that annoys me so much about this show. Last night you wrote at the ceremony that you wanted to leave and Adrienne wrote stay and it's like I know a lot of the public has been angered by the fact that you are saying hey I don't want to be here anymore and we essentially are seeing you be forced to stay. What does that feel like and do you actually like are you contractually obliged to have to stay or could you if you really really needed to get up and walk out?

So even for myself in that moment, it was really confusing because I don't watch fellow TV. I'm not watching math prior to this. So I don't really know all the rules. But I was so set that I was going home. Like I'd already contacted my family and say, like, you know, I'll be coming home tomorrow. I'd already kind of laid the foundation to go back to work. I'd contacted work saying I'll be back, you know,

you know, X, Y, Z to go back to work. Like I thought there was no way that we could be staying at this point in time. Like we're both done. Very evidently we are both done. But when he wrote this,

stay, my first reaction was, you've let me down again. Like, you are really letting me down in this moment because I couldn't fathom why you would put stay at this point in time. And another part of me was, do I have to stay? And I did kind of mention that

you know, to production, like, I'm going home, you know. And there was that, you know, that awkward kind of conversation where it's like, oh, that's not the rules of this experiment. Like you physically aren't allowed to, like you could get in trouble from a contract you signed because that just seems so crazy to me that you were forced to stay somewhere you don't want to be.

I think hindsight's a really beautiful thing. When you're in that moment and you're kind of living in all your sadness and you're going, I really want to go home, but when they're saying that you can't, you kind of have that little bit of element like, oh, I can't. I know it sounds so crazy from an outside perspective, but I was so like, oh, cool, I'm going home. And they're like, no, that's not part of the rules. You almost...

You're like, oh, okay, like there's rules I have to kind of stay, but hindsight's a beautiful thing and you're watching back and you're like, did I have to, Athena? Yeah. Do you know what, though? I think like you become institutionalised and the producers, it is their job to get you to do the things that they need you to do. They're creating a TV show and I honestly do think that like so much of it, you almost become like worried about disappointing people by not following the rules because you feel guilty that you've stepped outside of,

of what you've been told that you're supposed to do. And I say this from, you know, doing The Bachelor many, many moons ago. You kind of find yourself in this weird situation where you're almost being obedient because you feel as though it's what you have to do.

Oh, I feel that. And there is that guilt factor as well. You do feel guilty. You're like, okay, someone else is here on this experience and, you know, they're saying stay and they're trying and they want to give it a go. And then you do have that element of production and external voices also kind of, it's not really a relationship between two people. It's a relationship between,

between like, you know, 20 people. Producers. Yeah, so interesting. Hey, Athena, talk to me a bit about Adrian. So we saw that he kicked up a bit of a stink, well, actually a very big stink, over the fact that he wasn't included in this maths promo video that was created. He left his ring on the table and he walked out

out as though he'd thrown his toys out of the pram. Very dramatic. But there's been, he's done some interviews since and he said that that's not how it went down and that he was actually told by producers that he had to leave the show. What is your version of the events of what happened? Adrian struggles with accountability. But I

I understand. Like I can look at it from an empathetic point of view. You were hurt. Your ego was bruised. You did feel left out. He felt excluded. I just think that there were so many other ways he could have handled that situation and he chose wrong. So do you think that he chose to leave and he's making an excuse saying that they told him to go or do you think the producers genuinely said pack your bags and go trying to like almost set him up? No, Adrian made that decision to leave. Right. He needs to have some accountability. He chose.

But for him, I think it was feelings. He was feeling hurt. He was feeling like he was a victim at this moment. He was upset and he really acted on those emotions. And if he had lent in with vulnerability, we would have had such a different outcome. If he had said...

I'm hurt. I'm feeling, you know, disincluded. I'm unsure why. Like we could have tackled it together. Again, I've said it multiple times. I think I've shown at this point, I can be very empathetic to most situations and I'm here to be your partner and your teammate, but it's

you need to help me help you. And at this point, you weren't giving me much. Well, this is what he said. He said, I'm pissed off that I'm not in the promo. It's disrespectful and I'm not going to be treated like that. I'm not coming back until they get me in the promo. Athena, even just reading that, do you, when you think about like your experience in there and what it was like to be alongside him partnered, do you think he was in there because he wanted a relationship or do you think he was in there because he wanted the fame that comes with being on Mavs?

So it's really hard because I do 100% believe that some people were on there for what comes afterwards. But I do think that those same people also were open to love. You know, everyone used such different language. I know I went in there and I just couldn't wait to meet this person. I think for him, you know, the bonus would have been if the person at the end of the aisle was a match. Yeah, right. You know, I have to just like,

I love the positivity on the end there. Could be, probably isn't, but we'll see. It'll all play out soon. She's got a producer right behind her. I do have to say one thing. I'm trying to put myself in that position. Like if I was on The Bachelor and every other cast member was in a promo and I wasn't and they were like, go sit outside, your brain would start to be like, well, hang on, what's going on here?

is something going to happen to me on this show and that's why they're not including me? Like you might start to be, I can understand why his ego is hurt. I don't think he handled it the right way. But I do want to know, you've got some of you guys going very rogue. Like Jackie on her socials is just like spilling the absolute tea. And we know that you're not allowed to do that. We know contractually you're not, you're not supposed to hand over your social media. Is there any backlash or repercussions? Like are you guys getting in trouble for this stuff?

Honestly, I've been asking myself the same question. I'm kind of like, it almost feels like certain people just get away with murder. What are the repercussions? Maybe I'm going to go wrong. Yeah, go wrong. Tell us something. So we've been talking about this for a while now.

There was moments in that experiment, yeah, that absolutely have been cut from what's been shown. And there was moments where we, you know, there is that little bit of coercion. And there was moments where we just didn't show up authentically as ourselves. I do think that a lot of the applicants going rogue right now

you're probably better off not going rogue because I think they're not actually helping themselves. Like from what I'm seeing from these rogue posts and these rogue podcasts or channels or everything they're doing, I'm like the character that you want to show people who you are, like this better version, you're not doing that right now.

Do you think that people have been shown pretty much on par with how they behaved? Because everyone always comes out and says like, oh, it's the edit. I'm actually this person, not that person. From your experience, do you think that it's been pretty honest to the way people were in that experiment?

From what I've seen so far, it's absolutely been what I've seen when I was in this experiment. That's the characters that have been shown. But also one thing I will be honest about is I'm not behind closed doors. I don't know what conversations are having off camera. I don't know everyone's situation to maybe –

how they acted was not authentic to who they were. I know myself personally, there was some moments in that experiment where I'm like, that's not me, but how I'm feeling. And when you're around all this negativity, sometimes that manifests outward. So I don't know what they were going through, but what I've seen so far are the characters that I've seen in real life. But I do think there were more high moments in most relationships, but you're not going to show those. You're going to show that,

just the crash of the roller coaster, not the highs that come with it. Athena, you also have like such a different element to it as well because like, I mean, when you have kids and you're going into an experiment like this, like you have a six-year-old son, the stakes are so much higher. It's not just a reality TV show. You have to,

consider how it affects your family at home and also the type of person that you're potentially bringing into your family at home. What was going through your head when you're in the situation where you're wanting to leave to get back to your son and you're being told that you're going to stay?

I was really sad. I just, I really got into my victim mentality, which I shouldn't have. You know, we're all going through our own struggles and trials. But I did think to myself, like, this person's not going to be, you know, a role model to my child right now. And I feel like we tolerate more on ourselves than we ever would on our children. I know it sounds really bad, but

The behaviours and the actions and everything else, had I been in that experiment with my son right next to me, would I have stayed week one? I don't know. Probably not. But I'm so disconnected from my son and I'm disconnected from my reality. And even though it's on the back of my head every day, like is this person going to be good enough for my child, you do kind of lose that sense of reality and you're kind of stuck, oh, it's he and I in this relationship. But it was hard. So, Fina, you're still together? So hard.

Well, you just have to watch and find out. All right. Well, we're going to stay tuned. You've got us hook, line and sinker. So I can't wait to see what happens, but I hope whatever it is, love and happiness does find you and your son. Look, maybe I rub off on Adrian, you know? Well, we can pray. We can all hope. We can only hope for you. Thanks so much, Athena. No worries. Thank you. Bye.

Britt, I have a bit of a weird one for you. Just for something different? Yeah, just to really throw a spanner in. So my daughter, Molly Mae, you know, she's five years old. I do know her, yes. She's very like academic, I should say. Like she's really good at her reading and her writing. She's like learnt how to read very quickly and so she's working really hard to like put words together and write things

birthday cards or write letters and she's really, really enthusiastic about it. You're really playing that down because usually you come in to me and you're like, well, Marley is a genius. It's confirmed. She's joining Mensa's. Mensa. Is it? Yeah.

And she gets it from her mother. Definitely didn't get it from there. No, but honestly, I am always shocked by like where she's at in terms of her reading and her writing. Never as shocked as what I was recently to find out who her newest pen pal is. Oh, she's got a pen pal because they do that at school sometimes, don't they? Yeah. I mean, it's only week two. So they're kind of like crazy that already she's got a pen pal. But this is a pen pal that she discovered from within our own home.

Okay, hear me out. So Matt's mum lives with us, for anyone who doesn't know. And she moved in about a year ago. Matt and his mum are both, I would say they're kind of royalists. They would not coin themselves as royalists, but they're very enthusiastic about anything that has to do with the royals. They love royal content. They love royal stories. Like Ellie's quite enthralled in the Meghan Markle debate. Like they really enjoy royalism.

royal content. I can't see where she's going, but before we move on, whose side is she on? Is she pro-Megan or is she against Megan? No, she's not a fan of Megan. Okay, continue on as you were. So, but Ellie's also like, she grew up in Wales. It's something that's been very close to her and it's also something like stories that she's imparted on Matt over the years. And so he's grown up like really interested in the royal family. This is so strange. Me, not so much. So I've always found it like a bit of a unusual take to care that much about the monarchy. Sure. Anyway, I find out recently that

My daughter, Marley May, has been writing letters to King Charles. Not only...

Not only has she been writing letters to King Charles, she also made him a birthday card. And we're currently waiting. Hang on, her pen pal is King Charles? King Charles. Does he write back? She got really excited when she found out it was his birthday and she made him a card. And Ellie was so enthusiastic about it, she sent it to Buckingham Palace. When you write an address, is it just to the King Buckingham Palace? I think that's all you need to write. I think people are pretty specific as to where that's got to go. So which king did you mean? What flat number? Which?

What's his apartment number? What's the castle number? But also, like, so we're currently waiting on a reply from the king. I'm not sure how frequently he writes back to his fan mail. I reckon he probably gets a lot of birthday cards. I reckon the king gets a lot of mail. Do you think?

Yeah. Like fan mail from a five-year-old? I don't know if it's fan mail. Oh, we've got an address here. Yeah, so I found a website on how to contact the king. So apparently the king is shown almost all of his correspondence on a daily basis by one of his private secretaries. He's seen it. And he takes a keen interest in the letters he receives. Well, not so keen he hasn't written back yet.

Come on, King Charles. If you wish to write a formal letter, you can open with sir and close the letter with the form, I have the honour to be, sir, your majesty's humble and obedient servant. Did Marley May do that? You have to write your humble and obedient servant? No, she's not obedient to anyone, that kid. Oh, Ellie's done her dirty because if she didn't write that, she's not going to get a response. Apparently she wrote dear king. Does that count?

Did she say, do humble, king? Do king. No, I think she has to be humble. He doesn't have to be humble. He's the king. Do you think that we should do a test? Why don't here at The Pickup we write a letter to the king and see what happens? I'm not that enthusiastic about him, to be honest. I think he's gotten enough from my family. No. He's just taking your daughter. He's...

He's basically got ownership of Molly Mae. I don't know, but also like, I mean, part of me, I was really impressed that she took that much keen interest in a story that she was told by her nana. But another part of me was like, this is odd and should we be entertaining this?

Maybe Ellie's going to try and hook Marley up with, what's the son? What's Kate and William's son's name? George. Because we did see Princess Mary. She was an Aussie. She was a Tassie Aussie and she went and married the King of Denmark. Yeah, well, when George is over here, like, burning it up at a nightclub, we'll make sure that Marley's the same one. Put them on the local train. You know how they go around the train? Marley used to go around the train on the weekend. What?

Brittany, that was so abstract that not a single person in the car is going to know what you're talking about. I was trying to think of a cute way to put them on like a date. We have such a feel-good story for you today. There is a woman, her name is Betty Woodhams, and she has just recently turned 100 years old. She actually looks incredible. She does not look a hundy. She's given 65, 75?

Can I track it? I want to know what moisturiser she's using. She looks great, yeah. She looks amazing. She's definitely been punching some vitamin C cream, that's for sure. She always wears a hat, she said. So I really love this. I read this article like just the other day and I thought it was very sweet because often you get some real batty advice from people who have made it to the old century, but

I think Betty's advice around how to live life and how to lean into like the really great moments of life is something that we can all take a bit of advice from. One of the quotes that she had to say was her happiness in life over the last century has been about great friends, a balanced diet, no regrets and always wearing a hat. Aww.

She says, try to stay happy even when things may seem like they are getting the better of you. There really is something good in everything. Relaxing with a glass of wine at dinner or enjoying the odd champagne with a friend or two always helps as well. Sounds like she's really lived her life. Like she's just saying friends, wine, chocolate. That sounds brilliant. But she always, she said she has like really good food too. So she said, I eat everything, more chocolate than I should. I drink full cream milk as well and wine with dinner every single night. Go off, Betty. Yeah.

Betty, go off. I have not had full cream milk. Do you know? This is my problem. I'm going to die at 50. I've not had full cream milk my entire life. I've never drunk milk. I don't think full cream milk is the elixir to whether you make it to 100 or not, Britt. It could be. It gives you gastro. So I'm going to say no. Calcium for strong bones. That's really important for ageing. The reason why I liked this is because I think...

Often we get so caught up in stuff as we're like in our 30s or our 40s or our 50s and the things that you worry about are not the things that matter when you make it to ripe old age, if you're lucky enough to make it to that age. And like her talking about how she's enjoyed all different kinds of food, how she's been able to enjoy her life without it being about the certain way that she looked or how she presented to other people. You know, when you're in your 30s, you look back on your 20s and you go, God, I wish I appreciated how hot I was in my 20s. And when you're in your 40s, you look back.

No, but it's true. I was like, have you seen Meemoo?

When you're young, you can never appreciate like how lucky you are to be the version of yourself that you are then. And it's only with the beauty of hindsight that you go, oh, wow, like, you know, I wish I had the ability to appreciate those years more. Yeah, I remember some advice that I heard from somewhere. I think it was someone famous. I don't think anyone told it to me. It's like if you're not going to care about it or remember it or it's not going to be an issue in five years, don't let it be an issue now. And I think that that is really rings true when you think of the things that get you down. Like sometimes

think of how much getting stuck in traffic in the morning or road rage, think of how much that can throw you off for your whole day. It's such a stupid little thing. When you think about it, are you going to think about it next week or in five years? No, but we do let ourselves dwell on it. But also imagine getting to 100 years old and being able to confidently say that you don't have any regrets about how you live life. Like what a joy that is.

I had a really interesting conversation recently with Dave Hughes, who so many of you will know. He was just on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. And when I was over there in Africa, we were on a bus trip on the way back from shooting one day. And he said like one of the best things about him doing comedy is that it's given him this incredible sense to be able to

Really appreciate when life doesn't go to plan and when life is actually a little bit shit because great things can still come from it. Like whether it's funny content or turning it into a skit, there's always moments from every single thing that you experience in life that you can look at from a positive way, even if it is totally not what you had planned for your life and even if it's not in any way a good experience, but there's often this little silver sliver lining in there as well. But before we wrap this up, I do want to say the best part about this for me is

is when you think like how would I spend my 100th birthday, she went and did her favourite thing to do in the world, which is go plant shopping at Bunnings. And I just think that that is the most wholesome, beautiful thing. And so I think that's what you would do if you're 100, Laura. You'd do it now. Yeah. I mean, I'll do that for my 40th. It's coming up next year. So last week, if you listened, we were discussing Benny Blanco, who is Selena Gomez's fiancé. We were discussing his like weird Valentine's Day gift that he gave Selena where he filled a bathtub of –

Fondue cheese. No, cheese. But what's it called? Like that really fake American... It's called queso. No, it's queso cheese. He filled a bathtub with queso cheese and then he like led her to it with Doritos. It was a really weird thing. Well, this week he's back in the media for something a little bit different. Still involves the bathroom. But he's talking about his shower habits or maybe even lack thereof. Have a listen. Okay. I might not get to shower every day, but when I do, when I feel like I deserve it, I'm in there for hours.

So long contemplating life. I sit down in every shower I go into. Have you ever cried in the shower? It's incredible. Do you cry in the shower? Sometimes you just have to have a good cry. He sounds a bit manic, doesn't he? Okay, I was against the cheese bathtub, but what I will say is...

I do relate to Benny Blanco in this. There's nothing I love more in my life, my fiance Ben knows this, than a shower. I will shower multiple times a day. I know this isn't great. If there's water restrictions, I'll stick to them. But I have long showers. That's a lie. She's just saying that for a disclaimer. And

And I sit, I have a water tank, a rain tank. That's also a lie. That's heated by my solar panels. And I will sit down in the shower and it's my favourite time to think. I sit on the ground and I let the water run over me and sometimes I just press my head against the shower wall. If you walked in on me, you'd think that something was dire. Yeah, but I don't need to walk in on you. I know that you need therapy. That's different. Okay. Don't, don't, it's my time where it's something about...

Feeling safe, four walls around you. Maybe it's something like being back in the womb because it's like hot, warm, wet. I don't think it's that deep. And you're in like the fetal position crying. Maybe it's similar. Firstly, I'm surprised that we're talking about Benny Blanco twice in two weeks. That was a real wild card for me. Secondly, I don't get it. I would never sit down. You don't get it because you don't shower. I do shower. You don't. I shower more than he does. You shower your feet in the bathroom sink. That is terrible.

But I also shower at least once a day. There's no way I'm going for 24 hours without a shower. Like I shower every single day. I'm a morning shower. Love to get up, have a shower at like 5am, 6am. I just sometimes am so tired in the evening that I can't be bothered to shower. So I just wash the essentials. It doesn't check out. If you're only showering once a day, it should be night time. So you can go to your bed, clean up.

I know, I know. Like you're doing it backwards. You're going to bed with poop particles on you. You're going to bed with dirt, germs, and you're putting them in your clean bed. Yeah, it upsets my husband quite a bit. He's like, just go and have a shower. But I'm like, it's 11 o'clock at night. I'm so tired. It's also weird to me that he made the point of saying like, I don't get to shower every day, but when I do, what are you doing? No, he said when I deserve it. You don't have to earn a shower, pal. Everyone can have one. You've got enough money. You're married to Selena Gomez. You're a literal billionaire.

You deserve a shower more than anybody. Go and have one. You also just covered yourself in fondue cheese last week. Please go and have a shower. What the nitro cheese? What do you think constitutes...

Deserving a shower, like earning a shower. What do you think he has to do that day? Like heavy lifting, some sort of manual work. Do you think he has to achieve something in his life? No, I think he's... Look, by the sounds of things, showering's a very emotional process for this man and so he probably needs to have, I don't know, gone through something. But I don't think that that's how we need to face a shower. I do not have enough time in my morning or in my day...

to sit down on the floor of my shower, cry and contemplate life. I have two kids that are sitting there at the window going, mommy, I didn't wear my nappy last night. That's literally the conversation that happened this morning whilst I was trying to have a shower. No, you can stand and cry. We understand you don't have time to sit and cry. We got it. There's always time.

Now, you guys, if you're listening to the show, I mean, cast your minds back because it was a while ago. We were having a big conversation around kids at weddings and people who have like designated kid-free weddings. Oh, yeah. Or like should you be allowed to have kids? Because I was trying to work out if I should have kids at my wedding. Yeah. I mean, I guess like unless the bride and groom say like they're not invited, that you can't bring kids to the wedding, then I think it's kind of expected that sometimes kids come. Well, Laura, I still think you have to ask.

Yes, I agree. And also, I understand why some couples have no interest in having children at their wedding. I get it. Now, there is a woman who has gone completely viral online because of a reaction that she's had to a child that showed up at her wedding. So they had specified it is a kid-free wedding. Don't bring them. Yeah, bold, bold.

Yeah, it is. It was like, you know, it just really highlighted at the bottom of the invitation. Now, she's standing up there. Her name is Claire Kendall Tate. She's standing up there at the front doing her vows with her husband. And all of a sudden she hears this. But I'm the only one that knows them. And one of the questions I asked was, when did you know you were in love?

and wanted to spend the rest of your life together as husband and wife. Oh, my God. I think that wasn't even a crying baby. I think it was saying no. No! Yeah, that's not a newborn. That's like a one-and-a-half-year-old or something. That's a little turd burger. So what has happened is one of her guests, so a friend or a relative, has driven 10 hours to come and be a part of this wedding. When I say be a part of it, I don't mean standing up the front. I mean to witness the ceremony and the vows.

they have refused to take the kid out of the ceremony when it started crying because they felt so entitled to be there because they'd driven so far to get there. Oh my God, I would be so dirty. If I'm listening back to my vows and all I can hear is some screeching child that does not belong to me, not even in my bloodline, not even my lineage, like absolutely.

Like a screaming baby. Even if it was my own child, I'd kick it out. Yeah, my child wouldn't even be in there screaming. That's so rude. No, it really is. And now I think most people would listen to that and have a real issue with their wedding vows being ruined by a screaming baby. And normally I would say on this show, I'm the one that would stand up for the little kids. I'm like, someone think of the children. But even I listened to that and thought that's absolutely outrageous.

But what I do think is more outrageous is calling out a family member or calling out someone who's come to your wedding that you've invited publicly on social media. And that's exactly what Claire has done. She's posted this online. She's doxxed her family member or her friend. Oh, she's naming shame. She's literally the one who's provided this information saying, like, this guest thought he was so entitled to be there because he'd driven 10 hours and brought his baby. Did she add him? Like, did she tag him or stuff? Tag.

Did she? No, I don't think she did. Well, I mean, you don't have to tag him. He'd still know. He'd still know. He'd still see it. That to me is a pretty big statement. That to me has been like we're not friends anymore. If you're going to dock somebody to that level and make sure everyone knows that you're a twat, then you're not going to be friends anymore. Yeah, to me that's definitely, you have made a decision after standing up the front of doing your wedding vows. You're like, we shouldn't have invited that person. I reckon I'd stop down at the wedding and say, excuse me, security, can you escort that small child out?

Can somebody take that toddler out? I just want to say this because I found this very funny. Claire has come out and said she is now an advocate for completely child-free weddings because of this experience. And I think go off, Claire. Really lend your time to stuff that matters in the world. We love advocacy here at The Big Girl. Some people are homeless. Fighting the good fight. Women's rights. How are you an advocate for that? Do you go around to weddings and see if there's kids there and take them out? Like what?

What are you doing? No, Claire, what are you doing? I want to know. How are you advocating for that? We'll tag Claire in this post and we'll update you guys. There is a couple on this season of Maths that we haven't yet spoken about. Shock horror. I know. It seems to be like a few people dominating the screens on Maths this year. This is one of the older couples on the show, Marina and Tony. They're like 53 and 57 years old.

So seemingly from the outside, this is one of those couples where you're like, yes, producers have done a good job. They seem like a pretty good match. Everything seems to be going pretty well. I mean, they don't like each other, but it does seem like it could have been a good match. I should say on paper, on paper. But then out of nowhere, Tony's piped up and said, hey, I want a baby.

He's 53, which is fine. That's not too old to be a dad. But he has not brought this up once. He's never expressed a desire for a baby. Not in his audition, not in his tapes, not in his meetings, not in the show, not to her, not to the producers, nowhere. And then out of nowhere, he's woken up and had this epiphany that the piece of the puzzle of his life that's missing is a baby. Have a listen to Marina's reaction. He's done everything to try and push me away. And now, well, I've just realised I want to have a baby. Serious. Yes.

You're 53. Very strange. It doesn't add up. It's the only missing piece of the puzzle in my life. It is totally fine that he's not into me. Say it. Because if anything, he's disrespected me again. Making up this... this...

sweet little story that I want to reproduce. She's so funny. It's also, sorry, it's not the only missing piece of his puzzle. To have a baby, you need a partner or someone at least to give you the baby. I can't. Honestly, look, I mean...

There is a slight chance, and I'm talking like a drop in an ocean chance, that he did spontaneously at some point along the experiment just wake up one day realising, oh my God, maybe I want to have a baby. It sounds likely. But I'm going to call it that it's probably not the case. And what this to me screams of is that he's so conflict avoidant that instead of being honest and saying, hey, I feel no emotional connection, I don't really want to be with you, he's like, oh,

I'm going to use the one thing that I know she can't give me because she's outside that age bracket. I want a baby. And it's like all of a sudden you now want a fake baby to break up your fake relationship. On your fake stupid TV show. It's just so silly. I do find it.

like Marina said, quite disrespectful because you've gone to pick the one reason that she physically can't do. Like biologically, I mean, we're guessing, assuming at 57, some women have, but it's highly unlikely. You have picked something that is a sore point for women. Like we do have these biological clock. I think that's really shitty. If you are not,

old enough and mature enough at 53 to tell someone that there's no connection there and you've got to make up this story that your life is missing a child, then you're not old enough for a relationship. Also, my other concern with this is, I mean, if you've been watching the show, you probably have the same question, right?

if you know you don't want to be with someone and you know you have no connection with them, why week on and week out are these people writing stay? Clout. Yeah, it's for airtime. But unfortunately, the problem always is that the more that this stuff unravels, like the longer they say stay whilst also simultaneously saying they don't want to be with the person, it never turns out well. Like, Toni, like, sorry, Toni, but you can't go on national television and say we have no connection. I'm not into you. I want a baby which you can't give me.

yeah, I'm going to stay. Like that's so dumb. I have a question for you though, Britt. I mean, it's easy for us to serve it. Have you ever used an excuse to get out of something that you could have just been honest about? Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I remember this wasn't that bad, but I was also, it was in the dating scene for a very long time and I was

quite conflict avoidant as well. I always felt bad about hurting people's feelings, which is so stupid because saying to someone that they're not your person shouldn't be a worry. You should be able to be open with them. Depends on how sensitively you deliver it. I was just dating this guy and he was so into me and I was into him for a little bit and then I wasn't into him anymore and I didn't like him anymore. I got a bit of the ick, but he was super into me still. And so I just said, look, it's, you know, it's not you. I just don't want to date anyone. I really want to be single and focus on like my career and my life and just be alone. Like I'm not available.

And he was like, I totally get that. No kidding. There was someone else I was seeing at the same time. One week later, I was walking down the street and I was holding this guy's hand and I walked into the guy. Literally, we walked around the corner, physically bumped into each other. The guy that I said, I didn't want to date anyone. I wanted to be alone. I was holding hands with someone else and I bumped into him. This is my brother. He's like, is this what you meant by alone? And I was like. He did not. Yeah. He did not say anything. He loved me. Can you blame him? Yeah.

I did feel genuinely, that's not a bad lie. I think that's a fine lie to say to someone. It's just that I got caught out that I did want to be with someone else. Just be honest. So I was trying to rack my brain for something that I had done and I'm sure I am not innocent. I have no doubt that I have made up stories to get out of things in my life.

But I was on the receiving end of someone making up a very tall tale. And then I caught them out on it years later. So many years ago, one of my sister's friends, who she's no longer friends with, shock horror, we were all out together and I caught her cracking on to my boyfriend at the time. She was trying to hook up with him.

And I called her out on it and I called him out on it and it was this big thing. And she burst out crying and she was like, I'm so sorry. I don't know what's come over me. I'm really emotional because my mum recently passed away. Oh no. So she was trying to take your boyfriend because her mum passed away? She wanted some sympathy and some comfort, she said. And she said that she's just not rational. She had a lot to drink as well and so she blamed it on all of that. Okay.

And she was like, look, please don't tell your sister. Like, I don't want this to become such a big rift in our friendship. Oh, so you kept that a secret. You were like, okay, you've tried to steal my partner, but I'm just going to, because your mum's passed away, I'll accept it and we'll move on. Yeah. Well, I was obviously very upset by the whole thing, but I was like,

clearly she's going through so much. Like her mum's just died. This is crazy. Anyway, what's crazier is that years later, I was sitting at work and my sister and I, we worked together and I was talking to my sister about this friend and how they'd kind of fallen out over the years and they weren't as close anymore. And I was like, gosh, you know, I just felt so sorry for her. Like when her mum died and, you know, she was obviously going through a lot and how she tried to hook up with so-and-so. And my sister looked at me and she said, her mum's not dead. What are you talking about? She made the whole thing.

Her mum never died. She just tried to have sex with my boyfriend. And then got caught and panicked and said mum died. Yeah. That. You can't say people have died when they haven't. That's bad. That's bad karma. That is such bad karma. Yeah. You know, that reminds me. Oh God. No,

No, I just remembered my ex like many, many moons ago. My ex refused to introduce me to his family as his partner even though we were together for nearly two years because he kept saying it's bad timing. They're going through a divorce. It's not the right time. Like now is not the right time to come. I don't want you in that environment. Like they're just splitting up really hard. And I was like totally get it. Like, you know, two years. I was going to marry this guy. I know your story. Yeah, it comes out that he had a double life, was marrying someone else and his parents divorced when he was four. Four.

The man was 32. He just completely made it up because he wanted to marry two people simultaneously. Unless you've been following this show for a long time, there is so much to that story that we simply don't have time to unpack. That's all you need. We've opened up the lines. We've got Stella on the phone. Stella, what's a lie you've been telling to get out of whatever it is you don't want to do?

So I wanted to leave my gym to go to a new gym and I had to put a reason and I had no idea what to put. And then they asked me straight like face to face and I panicked and was like, I've got to move overseas. I've had a family situation. I was going to London. I created this whole worry. And then they were like, I'm so sorry. Like, took the form. Please leave. I was like, no worries. See you later.

But now I've realised five years later, I'm now back at the same gym and no one's ever asked how I am. That's okay. You moved back from London. Yeah. I didn't gap you. And they don't want to make it awkward for you. So wait, did you tell them what the family situation was? Please tell me you didn't say your mum died. Okay, good. No, and that's bad karma. It is. I'm like your friend. I'm not that silly. You know, gyms are notoriously, those contracts are really hard to get out of. They lock you into that dumbbell for years. Yeah.

I wasn't paying $150. I don't know if it's as bad as it used to be, but it used to be like you could never get out of them. There had to be a death in the family. It was like six months and then I still had to pay the $150. I think even for deaths, a lot of them are like, we'll pause it. You can't get out. We'll put your pause for a month. We'll give you bereavement leave.

It is time for one of the segments that Laura and I do every single week on our podcast, Life Uncut. It is called Ask Uncut. And it's where you guys write in or you call up with your biggest, darkest, deepest problems. And we give our best uneducated. I thought we were about to say unsolicited. And I was like, well, it's kind of solicited. It's just not, yeah, it's not qualified. It's solicited. It's just, yeah, it's just not qualified. But we have today a bit of a predicament with Chris

She's been with a partner since she was 18 years old, wants to know, is she missing out? Hey, Christy. Hey, yeah, look, I love him so much, but I do think about all the years I've kind of missed out on what my friends always talk about. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking, like how long you guys been together for? I'm 29, so it's been 11 years. Wow.

Congrats. That's great these days to even last that long. I mean, what is it that your friends are saying you're missing out on? If you're saying you're in love with your partner and you're having a great time, like what? The dating scene is not what people cut it out to be. I don't know. There's a sort of romanticised idea around just spreading your wild oats or whatever the saying is. You know, just getting out there and kind of having some fun and playing around. I mean, I love my partner and I'm glad I don't have to do that, but I'm like, you know,

You know, the grass is always greener. Do you know, I actually do understand what you're saying. You can be so in love and so happy, but when you haven't had any other experiences to compare it to, that's what plants the seed of doubt. Because you're like, how do I know there's not better? How do I know there's not worse? How do I know there's not someone better suited? I understand why those feelings come. I do want you to know that the dating world is grim. It is really grim.

It's probably not as good as people are making it out to be. Do you know the thing is no one wants to learn that lesson though. Like you're never going to break up from a great relationship with a person that you're saying that you love for the potential of going out there and just seeing –

if you get hurt and then realizing actually that was pretty good. Like that sounds like a terrible idea. If you're happy and he's great, it just means you got so lucky that you met someone so young that you didn't have to go through the trenches and kiss a whole heap of toads. I agree. But I do think that there is something to not necessarily not wanting to be with your partner, but wanting different experiences. And maybe that's different sexual experiences. Maybe it's, I understand that, that

there's a thought for you saying, hey, maybe I'll just know one person intimately for my entire life. But that doesn't mean there can't be at least be a conversation with your partner on maybe they're feeling the same way. Maybe you could open up the relationship. There are so many different ways to have a relationship now. But of course, in that situation, it has to be a very consensual conversation. Like it can't be one of you being like, I'm opening

it up. I'm going out. Yeah, I don't know. I think we romanticize this idea of like the grass is greener. I mean, I have a really good friend of mine who she got married not last year, the year before. And she's been with her partner since she was 19 years old. Only like first boyfriend, first sexual experience, all of that stuff. And I remember when we were in our early 20s and having this exact conversation with her and we, because we were also in our early 20s and gave terrible advice. We were like, yeah, it's

to only be with one person your whole life. Now she's married with him and thank God she didn't listen to us because she's like, I just met my soulmate early and he's amazing and I got so lucky. Well, that's great for Sharon. And then she... We're happy for her. She witnessed me, yeah, go through the trenches for 10 years. But is that what you think it is, Christy? You think like...

It's not that you actually want to be with someone. I just feel like that's the stuff I could probably learn about myself if I was on my own, but I don't know what that is, you know? And it's the unknown and it's also spending too much time watching Sex and the City and Samantha. No. That's not real. No one wants to actually be Samantha. That's also very produced. She's a terrible hot mess.

It's not a reality show. It's fiction. Christy, I think if you're happy and your partner is great to you and you honestly can say that you're in love with him and I would not be giving or entertaining too much this idea that maybe there's something better out there because it might not be. No, I think best of both worlds. You can stay and also go to a swingers club or you can experience the best of both worlds. You do whatever. Yeah, there's no,

There's no normal. There's no normal. So there's ways that you can tick all your boxes. Brie, imagine if your partner after 10 years was like, I'd like to go to a swingers club. You would hate it. I'd go for sure, but I'd be the person who just watches. Yeah. What if he isn't? Like the creep from the corner. Just like go watch through like a little piggy hole.