The Best Of The Pick Up - Plane Poonamis and Accidentally Outing Yourself To Your Boss
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This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is our radio show where we package up all the best bits every week of The Pick Up and we bring it here just for you guys, our lifers. We love you. Why are you talking so seductively? It's been a big day. Yeah, it's been a really big day. So it's also been a big week. It's been a big year. Yeah.

It's been a big life so far and I'm tired. Yeah, yeah. June's, I mean, May. May's been a big year. It really has been.

Hey, do you know what though? I had a really good time on this show this week. Oh, great. No, I really did. And I told a story. Last week I talked about how Marley drew me naked at school and everyone now knows what the state of my downstairs pubic hair is like. Love that for me. But also, you want to know who also knows about my downstairs pubic hair? Matt. Nah, the electrician down in Ulladulla. And I'll tell you all about why coming up on the show. It's a real theme. I like to be naked. I'm a naked person. If I'm not at,

At work and I'm at home and not in front of my mother-in-law, I'm naked. I love nudity too. Nudity also comes with limits. You live on your own so you can be naked all the time. I was about to say something but I don't want people to turn up to my house. Yeah, I'm naked a lot but I don't want to give too much away. Here's the question. Don't have to give your address. It's okay. I have a question for you. At what age do you think you should stop being naked in front of your kids? I can't answer this. It'll get me into trouble but I also don't have kids so I don't know. But I just think nudity is a beautiful thing.

To what age? Also, is it different if your kids are daughters versus sons? Yes, there's a lot to it. That's not enough time to unpack it now. So I don't know why you asked life's deepest question right now. Sorry. Sorry. Also, what do you think the meaning of life is? No.

Okay, you know what I loved this week? I also had a great week this week. Well, it wasn't just you. I'm happy for you. I had a brilliant week. No, something that I really want to – I want to make this a thing. Like I want to bring this onto the radio show, onto the pod. Missed connections. You know when you've locked eyes across the train station platform and you thought, oh, my God, there's a moment, there's chemistry, there's heat. That's my person. That could be my person. I might go over and talk to them. Then the train comes. They get on the train. They go away and you're never going to see them again. And for the rest of that week, you're like –

I feel like something's missing in my life and I need to find that person. So you go and post it online and you try and look for them. You standing on the platform, green shirt, locked eyes, platform four at Waterloo, whatever. We have the funniest misconnection on the show today, but it's made me want to do it in real life. Like it's made me want to find a misconnection for you guys. So please let us know. Slide into live uncut podcast DMs, email us the pickup DMs. Let us know if there's...

you've had that moment with someone, you haven't been able to stop thinking about them. We want to help you find them. Can I just say it's a real fine line between being cute and creepy, right? The line is so thin between the two. Usually it comes down to whether or not you're attracted to the person as to whether it's like endearing or creepy. Yeah, but what happens is if they think it's creepy, they're not going to respond. Like if you pick up the paper and you're like, oh my God, that was me on platform four in the green shirt. If you're not into it,

You don't respond. But if you are into it, maybe they were equally trying to find you. All right. Well, that and so much more is on the show. Let's get into it. Now, Britt, I want to talk about something that I feel like most parents have been faced with at one point or another. And that is the punami. The punami with no tools. If you have little kids and you've forgotten a nappy or you've forgotten wipes or it's been explosive and you've forgotten a change of clothes, it's

Everyone has had to deal with something going very wrong and having to come up with a quick and fast and hard solution. Okay. Is this one of your kids? They're not in nappies anymore, are they? No, I've got a five-year-old or a four-year-old. It's been a long time since we've dealt with a punami. This is off the back. There's a woman who's going viral online because she has shared –

what seemingly is quite a resourceful solution to a punami that she experienced. However, the whole situation sounds like an absolute disaster if you ask me. So they're on an international flight. It is 3.30 in the morning and she has realised...

that she didn't pack a spare nappy for her one and a half year old, this little kid looks like. On an overnight flight? On an overnight. Imagine waking up at 3.30 in the morning. To a turd. And being like, oh God, here we go. Here we go. Code brown, everyone.

So what she did is she didn't have a nappy. She had wipes, but she had panty liners, like her own panty liners. So she slid a panty liner into the nappy, I'm guessing, to try and absorb as much of the excess fluid and everything else as possible. Oh, no.

Which, you know what? I heard about, like I read this and I was like, I guess it would kind of work. But I'm left with a lot of questions. I feel very sorry for her because I can't imagine. I have not been in that position. But I would imagine on a flight, like an overseas overnight flight, there are a lot of people on there. There is guaranteed to be other families with kids. I'd be patrolling those aisles until I found

found like another mum and begging for a nappy. That's what I'd be doing. You know what that is? That is spoken like a true dog mum who's gotten to the dog park and didn't have a bag. That is a true dog mum response because I didn't even clock that one. Did you not? That seems like

That seems like the most obvious solution. Do you know why? Because I think if you went and asked someone else for a nappy, the judgment of like, why didn't you pack enough nappies? Like, I just wouldn't even think to ask someone for a nappy. No, I wouldn't. You just say, hey, they've pooed way more than I would have thought. That's also what dog people say. So when like your dog has pooed more and you've run out of bags, you're like, sorry, they usually only do one. They've done like four. But realistically, you just left with one rogue bag and that was it. I will never forget. I was on a flight.

And it was an international flight, but it was a day flight. We were going to Bali and, you know, that's a six-hour flight. And the family that was sitting directly in front of me had a little baby. And I also had my kids with me. So, like, we were surrounded by kids.

And their little daughter, I think she must have been about maybe two. So that's not like baby, baby. Like two is full-blown toddler territory. Yeah. And everyone could smell that someone had pooed their pants. Like it was very evident in the whole of that area of the seating. And so everyone was kind of quietly being like, oh. And I sniffed both my kids and I was like, my kids, it's not me. You know, I'm not responsible for this. Anyway.

Ten minutes later, the family in front, she just lays the little girl down on the seat and uses the seat that's right next to her as the change table to change the nappy, like starts fully changing the nappy in the middle of a... Is that like a no-go? I don't know.

No. You have to take them to the toilet and use the fold out change. I think it's okay to change a nappy in lots of places. Like I'm a change nappy on the go kind of gal, but absolutely not in a packed flight where every single other person has to sit there and smell your kid. Like that's, to me, that was absolutely wild. So you can't like lay them down on someone's lap?

No, no, absolutely not. Anyway, so much so that their air flight hostess came over and she was like, I'm really sorry, but you cannot do that there. You have to go to the toilet. Yeah, that's fair. She looked horrified. Horrified. Also, the walk of shame, like when you've got to then stand up with a stinky baby and everyone's like off you already because you're like, you already stunk out the cabin, then you've got to walk of shame like the next morning. The smell's got nowhere to go.

It's got nowhere to go. All right, well, you heard it here first. Pack your nappies and go to the toilet. No, I do feel sorry for it because, like I said, I've been called out before and you really have to get resourceful. Like, you really have to think about, like, what is it that I can use? Do you water down there with some toilet paper? Like, what do you do to try and save your kid from a nappy-less punami situation? It's a lot. Forgive me for taking this sidestep, but this is where my brain has gone when you just said being resourceful.

I do remember a time that you did a poop. You what? Yeah, you, Laura. You did a poop. Oh, this is really taking a sidestep and I don't know if we need to talk about this on radio. Yeah, you already spoke about it on radio. You've just reminded me. You already forget that you added yourself. You did a poop and there wasn't any toilet paper so you went into your handbag and you found one of the girl's socks. Yeah, that was a low point in my life. That was a low point. But that talking about being resourceful, you've got to do what you've got to do. Yeah. Yeah.

I was reading this Reddit thread, Laura, that gave me a bit of a chuckle and it reminded me of a couple of things I've done in the past and something that I've heard you throw around a little bit. Oh yeah, what have I done now? Well, this could go either way, but this woman was talking about this awkward encounter she had with her boss and the way she signed off a phone call.

So this is her thread. I accidentally said, I love you at the end of a call with an important client yesterday. I heard him giggle as I hung up and I was absolutely mortified. Today, I received an email from him. Now, imagine the fact that you've had this awkward moment. You've said, I love you to someone you absolutely shouldn't. And then you see an email pop up. You're like, do you not just like hit that one on the head and be like, sorry, that was a mistake. I don't actually love you. Is that worse? I don't love you. I actually don't have feelings for you. No.

No, I don't know. I think it's better that you don't try and double down. You pretend like it didn't happen. Yeah. So this is the email. Hey, Sarah. Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to laugh at you when you accidentally signed off on our call with I love you. Oh, he was just worried about getting in trouble from HR. HR, yes. Sexual harassment. He's like, oh, God, here we go now. Someone's going to complain. I just found it funny because I've definitely done that before and I know it happens. I'm glad you have enough love in your life that the response comes naturally. If anything, you should be proud of that smiley face.

Have a great weekend and we'll follow up about my call with Chris on Wednesday as discussed. No, I love you. Sign off. Would you want that response or would you want just like to pretend it didn't happen? Just pretend it didn't happen. I've done some doozies. Actually, just the other day, our radio boss, Tony, walked into the office. We're having a chat and then I called him honey by accident and we just steamrolled like it wasn't even a thing. He didn't even notice. I was like, thanks, honey. Oh, he noticed. He looked at me and winked.

Ew. Sorry, Tony. I must admit in that moment I was in the room and I did feel viscerally uncomfortable. I'm a words of affirmation kind of person. Like I'm an endearing term. Everyone's honey or darling or something. I know, but you boss? I didn't mean to. It was not intentional. Also, no offence, Tony, if you're listening. Tony doesn't give honey. He's not honey vibes. He's not a honey vibe. He's going to hate that. Poor Tony. Tony could be a honey to someone. Not you. Yeah.

Do you know what I'm really guilty of? And I probably have to work on it. I throw kisses around. Yeah, kiss, kiss. Like they mean nothing. They don't though. Well, they do to me. But whoever I'm emailing, it doesn't matter whether it's like the finance guy or the boss or it's a client. I just throw in kisses and I'm like, I don't know.

I don't know if you could do that. I have one other example. There's many of them, but this one just lives rent free in my mind. So like I run another business where I was talking to a client of mine and she had wanted to get a piece of jewelry made specifically for her mom for Mother's Day. It was a custom piece. And like I'd not been on comms at all. My sister, who's my business partner, had been managing it. And I just chimed in because I was like, hi, so lovely, so excited. And I signed off with, have a lovely Mother's Day with your bum. Sent.

Have a great time with your bum. Anyway. Did she write

Obviously, she can read between the lines, but that's a typo. It does rhyme with mum and there's two letters that shares the word. I know, but really, sometimes autocorrect does you dirty because it's not an incorrect spelling. But you would think that AI would be intelligent enough by now that it would go, you've said Mother's Day, you probably don't want to refer to your butt. No, because a lot of people might. Just going to guess that this is a mum. Like, what are you doing on your mother's day? Everyone needs to enjoy themselves in different ways, don't they? Butt play on mum day. All right. All right.

Hey, the lines are going off. We've got Sarah on the phone. Hey, Sarah, what did you accidentally do to your boss? As I was leaving, I blew her a kiss. What happened?

Okay, so it's a female. We've got that. And so... Yeah, so you want some context? Yes, we do. So I'm a disability support worker and it's not unusual for when I leave for my client to blow me a kiss. But this particular day, she didn't. And I... It wasn't her, though. I walked outside of her bedroom and her parents were there and I blew them kisses, as I said. LAUGHTER

Man, you're just giving these kisses out left, right and centre. Who doesn't? I'd be offended if I didn't get a kiss. Yeah. Bless you. I feel like you can get away with it. It was so awkward.

Did you say anything afterwards or did you just leave it? You just walk away? I didn't say anything to them. I just walked out the door and I got out there and I just died. And I thought, oh, there's no way that they haven't just turned to each other and gone, what the hell just happened? Oh, you're just a loving, caring person. Good on you. Thanks, Kate. Thank you. Hey, Kasia, what did you accidentally say to your boss?

I accidentally sent my boss a message saying she's being an absolute C-bomb today. Oh!

How do you accidentally send that? I feel like that's pretty well thought out. I was sending it to one of the girls that wasn't at work that day. No. Did she have her emails forwarded or did you accidentally just CC in your boss? Just so, can you get the memo? It was a text message, so I sent it straight to her. Oh, my God. You were doing the old, like, when you're thinking of someone, so you go and type in that message instead. Oh, did she write back? Yeah.

Are you fired? She pulled me into her office and, yeah, she wasn't too impressed. I tried to tell her that it was an accident and that it was actually aimed towards a friend called Tracy, but she was on to me. And she wasn't impressed at all. So I still kept my job. Oh, thank you so much. I'm glad you're still there. Thank you. Thanks, Kasia.

This happened to me a couple of weeks ago, but I've been questioning whether or not I should tell the story. If you ever question if you should tell a story on national radio, usually the answer is no. Well, usually. And also sometimes I'm like, do I have any dignity left? Also no. Do we need content for the week? Fine. Oh, here it is. Here's my soul. So we've been doing quite a big renovation down south at the moment. Like,

of a house, couple of hours drive from where we live. And when we've been heading down there, we've been staying. And it is so close to being finished, this renovation. Like I just feel like it is the reno that never ends. Yeah, you're on the home stretch. But we were down there.

staying in the house and there was some issues with the electricals because this is what happens, right? When you're renovating a house, the first time you stay in it, you start to see like what are the little things that haven't quite been done or need to be fixed. So we had had an electrician come out for the day

There was quite a lot of jobs that he needed to do. He needed to install the outdoor lights and some inside blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. On the edge of my seat. What other lights did he have to install? The ones in the bathroom needed to be fixed. The outdoor lights weren't connected to the indoor, whatever. It was a whole thing, right? Also...

He wasn't bad to look at. The man was very attractive. That's convenient. He was a good looking rooster. Easy on the eye. So he's in the house running around and my husband Matt's there and we've all kind of like been trying to get organised for the day at the same time. But also at the same time we're having to like talk to the electrician who has questions. Anyway, Matt left.

and it's just me and it's the electrician in the house. And he's finished for the day. He's been there for quite a few hours. And he says like, oh, like, see you, love, all done. I'm going to leave now. And the house is really close to the beach. I had been waiting for him to leave so I could go for a swim. I was desperate to just get out of the house for the day. And I left the garage open, the door open, and I saw you can see from inside the house straight out into the street. So I saw him get in his car and I saw him drive away.

Bye, good-looking Mr Electrician Man. So I go to my bedroom and I get naked and I'm like, oh, I'm going to get my simmers, but except I couldn't find my simmers. They were obviously downstairs in the laundry. So I get out from the bedroom and I walk straight downstairs and I'm midway between the upstairs and the downstairs, coming down the stairs, like I'm trapped in the flight of stairs. And standing there in the lounge room is the electrician. Oh, my God.

back to the house because there's something that he's forgotten, didn't make it known, didn't call out. He probably didn't think you were going to strip off within 30 seconds. He walked in and I was completely butt-ass naked with nowhere to run except to turn around and run back up the stairs, which meant not only did he see my front, he also saw my behind. How do you do it? How do you navigate it? You didn't have to run away. He had to run away. He had nowhere to go. He would have had to run up the stairwell as well. No, he could turn around.

I think it's, I don't know. If he's already seen the front, I'd just back away slowly. I'd walk backwards up the stairs, like crab claw around the corner. I just had like this three seconds of like absolute fear take over my body. And I was like, how do I get out of this situation? Because the only way forward is backwards.

And now I have to turn around. Also, you just finished telling us how good looking he was. Are you sure he said goodbye? Are we like, oh my God, whoops, I didn't know you were here. I thought you'd left. I just happened to be naked upstairs. I told Matt this story and he was like, whatever, Laura, shut up. Because as, yeah, when the electrician did come in, I was like, he's a good looking rooster, isn't he, Matt? And then I had to tell Matt that I got naked in front of him. It didn't go down well. Imagine if

Matt walks in and just has this awkward moment where he sees you naked on the stairs looking down at him, looking at you, you looking at him. Yeah, it's like the awkward triangle. Anyway. I can't ever see him again. No, he's coming back to the house and I have to leave. He's got to put the solar in. Yeah, I'll tell you all about that. Oh, can't wait. Laura, remember back in the day, those missed connections that people used to do, like the equivalent of a newspaper dating site. So...

If you had a moment with someone in real life, like you were getting the train to work and you looked across the platform and you saw somebody and you had this moment across it and you were like, wow, and they were giving you the eyes back, then they got on the train, you never saw them again. You know what this was? And I wonder if it rolled out all across the country or not, but this was the free newspaper that you would get on the train. Yes. And there was a column, a special dedicated editor's column where you wrote into the editor and you were like, platform two, one o'clock, you were wearing a red hat.

It always says you, green shirt, me, high ponytail, laughed at you, whatever. It's like it's always these and then they're supposed to find it and find you and you live happily ever after. I remember this like vividly because I would always look to try and see if someone had sent one in about me.

Oh my God, you're such a narcissist. What a loser. I don't know if narcissist is the right word or just loser is the right word. I was like so desperate for someone to love me. Well, I have had an idea off the back of one that I have seen one. So some people are still putting them online. Like some people are still finding them and putting them online. It's not a thing like it was, but I just need you to listen to this because I was laughing out loud. This is on a site, Miss Connections site. You were the tall brunette with a near perfect body that farted in the bread section last night. What?

I was the tall guy next to you that looked over and asked, was that you? You quickly replied, no, it wasn't. You almost seemed insulted that I would even ask. As the stink grew, you continued to deny your flatulence, but it was evident. I tried to get rid of the stench by waving two loaves of ciabatta bread. You proceeded to storm off in an angry manner. You are beautiful and even if you are a liar and you fart like a Clydesdale, I'd still love to meet up.

That's not real. I died of laughter. That is not real.

It was so funny. It got me thinking, it could be real. People let them drop accidentally all the time. And when there's only two people in an aisle and there's a smell and you know it's not you, you then know it's the only other person there. When you started that, I thought you were about to say, this has been written about me. But then as it proceeded to be talking about farts. Did you know, okay, this is a real tangent. We don't have to go down this path, but I'm going to say it anyway. I walked into a Lyft the other day, got on at level two.

There was only one person in the lift and then we travelled together and it was so evident that they had just farted in the lift before I got in. Also not okay. I need to tell you a story. Sorry. Are you okay? I've just been thinking about it. So dumb. So I never fart in front of my fiancé, Ben. It's like a thing. I've just said I don't fart in front of partners. Like I'll do it in other locations. Okay.

So recently, so dumb. Recently I was over visiting him and we were practicing our first dance for our wedding and we filmed the whole thing. We put the camera up and then we just proceed to do our dance. Now it's only he and I in the hotel room. That's it. It's not a dance studio. We're just in a home. Anyway. He lifted you up and you accidentally farted. No, but I farted.

But it was quiet. So I was like, didn't care. Then I smelt it and I was like, oh my God. Got to get on the front foot. Yeah, but I don't know what I was thinking. I stopped and I was like, babe, did you just fart?

And he was like, I know. It's so obvious because he knows it wasn't him. And he's like, no. And I was like, yes, you did. That's disgusting. He's like, oh, my God, you did. And that was me trying to get myself out of it. We're only in this. And anyway, we had this full fight on camera about who farted. But obviously it was me. Like, what was I thinking? I'm sorry, but are you 14 years old? And secondly, what has this got to do with lost connections? Oh, sorry. No, it's not. It was back to the fart. Jesus. Jesus.

Okay, I took it a little sideways. Here's my idea. I want to help people. There are people out there. I know there is someone listening right now that has had that moment. Who's farted. I mean, sorry, who's had a misconnection. Who's farted in the supermarket. I want to help a misconnection. Like I want to find one and make it happen. So we are looking for people that might have had that moment anywhere in a nightclub or walking to work or at work or in a cafe anytime.

We want you to call up and we're going to try and help you. And we're going to make this, well, this is my plan. It might not work after a couple of weeks and the producers can't. It's going to be a mini series. But let's go whole hog in the interim until that happens. Let's put everything, all the resources we have. What's more important, love or money? Or love and money? Maybe we'll find you both.

Call up or write into the pickup, write into Laura and myself on Instagram or the pickups Instagram or the win page, whatever. If you have a missed connection or somebody that you are looking for, we want to help you find them. Like we genuinely want to try and make this happen. Britt, I also want to point out to you that these things only end well if the other person is interested. Otherwise it comes off like they're a stalker. But like, that's okay. We can figure that out live on air. You just said you looked every week to see if you were in it. People want it.

Britt, you were telling a story a while back about your wedding invitations and how you got into a little bit of strife because of the language barrier. When you set out your invites, you said no thongs and it was taken very incorrectly. Because my fiancé is European, so all of his friends and family are Euro, and they thought when I said no thongs that they weren't allowed to wear a G-string. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's a pretty strict dress code if I'm monitoring their underwear. You're like everyone that walks in, you're like, I'll just have one quick look before you're allowed to. Yep, you're in. Well, this is going to make you feel a little bit better, Britt, because there is a wedding invitation that's gone viral off the back of a very unfortunate accident that was made.

A spelling error. We've all been subject to spelling errors. You know, we've all sent a message and then accidentally it's like auto-corrected to a word that we didn't want it to be. Yeah. There's not that many people that use the word duck all the time, but apparently that's what iPhones think. You know, it just, you know. Should we unpack that one?

that one? At three o'clock in the afternoon. Thanks, Laura. Okay, so there's a couple who sent out their wedding invitation and lovely. They had hors d'oeuvres on the menu was one of the first things that was written. Unfortunately, they did not spell check or proofread their wedding invitation that was sent out. But not only was it sent out, this wasn't a digital invitation. This was a printed hard copy invitation, which had lovely gold embossing on it. So I'm sure it cost them a pretty penny. I do have the invite here. Yeah, it looks beautiful. It

It doesn't say hors d'oeuvres though. What it does say, unfortunately, is horse ovaries. How this has happened. Hors d'oeuvres is...

is actually spelled sort of like horse ovaries. It's like H-O-R-S. That's essentially horse, right? Horses, if you're going to say it phonetically. How they say or-vers looks like almost ovaries. So I can understand why Google's been like, oh, they must be trying to talk. Maybe they're a vet. Maybe they're talking about the horse ovaries. Imagine getting to a wedding and they're serving you horse ovaries. Thank you. That's delicious. But imagine the guests. Steamed or fried. Do you think people

picked up on that and thought, oh, it's a spelling mistake or people were like, is this some sort of weird like...

cultural thing or like who's eating in horse ovaries? Well, look, we've come across some very unfortunate spelling errors and I'm not just talking about like sending an incorrect text to someone who you're friends with. I'm talking about businesses that have printed signs or things that are like truly embarrassing that you kind of like once it's up, you're like, well, what do we do now? Do we have to take that whole thing down and start again? And I wanted to read some of that to you because they're so great. McDonald's wrote hiring smiling faces for afternoon shits.

No, that's intentional. There's been a 16-year-old that's been employed to go out the front and do that. They're earning $11 an hour. Some little kid hates their job and they thought this was funny. They were, in fact, the little shit. Okay, another one here. This is a very old sign that's been up for a really long time. It's in a parking lot and it says, illegally parked cars will be fine. True.

No, that has said find and someone's taken it off so that they can park there. 100%. That is actually really smart. All right. Well, what is this one? How do you describe this one then, Britt? Please pay your parking fee before existing. Not exiting. Existing. And I really like this one. This was in the front of a Donut King and it said mini dog nuts.

I feel like Grace on the case has something over there. I found one. It said, I was replying to a high-level executive called Trudy. The whole team was CC'd on it. One of them pointed out to me that I'd called her turdy. I don't reckon that's the first time. I just want to finish it off with this because I feel like we've all been in the boat where we've made a spelling error mistake and this is going to live rent-free in my mind. Somebody wrote, when you can still smell his colon on your pillows even when he's not there.