The Best Of The Pick Up - The Most Unhinged Ways You Got Broken Up With
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This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is The Pick Up Show. If this is the first episode of Life Uncut that you're listening to, this is actually our radio show, our national radio show that airs across the country every day of the week and we package up all the best bits here for you to listen to. Oh!

I had a great week. It was very funny. Of course you did. I mean, I got married, but that's not why I meant that. Some weeks on radio are funnier than others. Like sometimes the world gives you the most amazing content. Sometimes it doesn't. But this was a good week. I mean, we had some pretty sentimental and serious stuff. Also, we had an Ask Uncut this week as well.

Her name was Gabrielle. We've included it in this show. It's probably the most serious live Ask Uncut we've had. She found out that her husband is cheating on her. And that was, do you know what, Bria? Like for all the Ask Uncuts that we normally do, they don't usually happen in real time. You know, people, if you listen to the pod a lot, you would know. Ask Uncut, people write in, we answer with the details that we have. But this was a very different one because Gabrielle called and we kind of had to unpack it live with her. And it's,

You want to give the type of advice that you would give to your best friend, but I really hope that she listens to that and she does something about it. It was a hard one because she's living it now and it's complicated. She's been with him for like 20, 30 years. They've got kids. They've got kids, yeah. And, you know...

I was trying to be probably more diplomatic than I wanted to be in all honesty. But you have to remember it's a real person with a real situation going through real things. Yeah, and it's also on live radio. So like the last thing you want to do is tell someone to leave their husband on live radio and really go hard on them when they're clearly in a very emotionally...

difficult time. Yeah. But that is all coming up. Also, if any of you guys would like us to answer your Ask Uncut live on radio, like if you have something, it can be anything from trivial to something that's to do with your friendship to something, whatever, whatever it is, you actually can remain anonymous still. It'll just be your voice. Please write in to either us at

Life Uncut, just say that you're happy to do radio or you can write to the Pick Up directly who has their own Instagram as well and we can get you on the radio show and we can answer your questions live. But this week on this week's show, I told a story about Molly and I feel like any parent will relate to this.

Marley said something that was innocent but totally inappropriate in context. And it's those moments where your kid says an inside thought that they just shouldn't say and you want the whole world to swallow you up whole. I feel like it's a rite of passage though. Like I don't know anyone who has a kid who hasn't done that. Like kid hasn't embarrassed them or that's how they learn, you know. They don't know what's right or wrong and just sometimes it's more awkward than others.

It's also like sometimes kids are just so honest. Like there was this one person who wrote in on – we did a little call-out box and this one person wrote in and so like they were going on a camping trip. The mum had mentioned she didn't want the mother-in-law to come on this camping trip. The mother-in-law came over this one day and her daughter was like –

Mum doesn't want you to come on the camping trip. She doesn't want you to come. And that was why she made up this full elaborate lie about why she couldn't come. The kid was like. She just straight out added up. Nah, you suck, Nana. Like they just. Yeah. That's so cool. Kids are the worst. And the best, but the worst. So.

I actually did a call out this week about a story as well and the responses I got were, I shouldn't say brilliant and funny, but they were brilliant and funny. We can only laugh about them because it's in hindsight. But it was like, what's the most unhinged way you've been broken up with or you found out your partner had moved on? And I say that because we didn't want normal breakups. It's off the back of Eric Dane, who's like a famous actor. He was McSteamy.

He was in euphoria, but his girlfriend found out that they were no longer together in a really unusual way. So it got us, we unpack it, but it got us thinking, how did you guys get broken up with? One person wrote in and said they got home, like they lived on a property and there was a padlock that had been put on the gate at the start of the property that said, do not enter marriage over. Oh.

You can't do that when it's your joint house. And like my laughing, to be clear, I'm laughing from shock. It's not funny. No, we're not laughing at you. That's hideous. No, it's not funny but I can't believe people do this. I would say that if you're like in a situation where like you find out you've been cheated on or something like that, like getting the locks changed probably isn't as uncommon as what we might think it is. Like that's when you get those big retaliations. Anyway, guys, we unpack it all. Have a listen to the show.

Hey, Laura, question. If you were to go and see like one of your favourite artists but they said you weren't allowed to bring your phone, how would you feel? Would it bother you? Would it put you off going? How are they going to police it is my question. Okay, well, I have that answer. So this is actually happening at the moment. Sabrina Carpenter has come out. She went to a concert herself in Las Vegas to see Silk Sonic and part of that gig was the fact that you weren't allowed to take phones. So you had to put your phone away. It was like a no-phone gig.

She said she's never had a better experience at a concert. She was loving it. Everyone was dancing, engaging. It was like they were back in the 70s. And she's saying, well, maybe I'm going to consider no phones at one of my future concerts.

I mean, I understand the debate for it. I get it. Like, it must be annoying being on stage and everyone's actually just watching you and not really watching you. They're watching you through a phone. But I also think that there's positives to it too. Well, she's not the only one that thinks this. Like, multiple people have come out in the past. John Mayer, Billie Eilish. Have a listen to Billie's comment. All I ask is that we all try to live in the moment and...

A lot of the time I'll say put your phones away, but if you want to film, that's okay. Just put it next to your face. You know what I'm saying? Look at me in my eyes. Be here because this is the only moment we get to be in this moment. And like we're never going to be right here this second on this day and this age ever again. This is the only, only moment we ever get ever, ever. I do like it just before, Laura, you said, well, I could be doing a poo in there. Yeah.

Lauren's like, I could be on the toilet doing a poo and it will be the last moment I get to do that. Okay, I love Billie Eilish, but that's one of those you have to be there moments to really feel the magnitude of it. Because when someone's like, it's the only moment you're going to be here. Duh. That can be said about every second of your life. You could apply that logic to sitting on the toilet doing a poo. Do you know what I... Okay, I have multiple feelings about this, but I... Just give me one feeling. We don't have time for one.

Uncertainty. I think it's too hard to police. And my biggest issue with it is like it's okay to say, oh, look, you know, no phones or put your phones down. So then people like socially police each other. So if someone has their phone out, it's a bit like put your phone away. But I don't think that you could like stop people from bringing a phone into a venue for a massive concert. Imagine how long those lines would be. They're already too long. Laura.

There is something called a secure pouch. What's it called, Grace? It's a yonder pouch. It's a yonder pouch. That sounds like a female feminine product, doesn't it? It's a yonder pouch. So they've got these pouches where –

I'm imagining it's a secure pouch that can only be... Like, it's locked. It can only be opened in certain parts of the venue. So maybe it's, like, the bar or it's the entrance or toilet or whatever it is. But I'm imagining people line up and when you're scanning your tickets, you get a yonder pouch. They watch you lock your phone in it and then everyone knows you can't open it until you go back to this area. So you've got your phone on you but it's not allowed to be used. I don't know. I'm sort of like...

I sort of think it's cool. I understand why artists would say, hey, guys –

we don't want to stare at your phone, like 80,000 phones just looking at us. We'd love to be engaging with you and seeing your reaction. Are you enjoying it? Like are you vibing it? Being the moment. But I also understand where we live in a day and age where that's also helping promote that artist. Totally. And I think like you've got to be in a pretty privileged position to say, oh, I don't need the promotion of people and their Instagrams. Sabrina Carpenter can say that. Yeah, like most artists need their audience sharing it and like, you know, promoting it across socials and all that sort of stuff.

to be able to sell out venues or to get more eyes on the products that they're creating. I don't know. I mean, I remember this is not a new debate. I remember I was very, very obsessed with John Mayer back in about 2013 and he came out saying that concerts are just different now. He's like, I don't feel as though people are enjoying them when they're at my concerts and then I go on social media to see how many people have shared it and what they've said about it to actually get a gauge because people are watching me perform through a phone. Well, he actually said, funnily enough, I've got his quote here.

Thanks. People aren't going crazy. And I think to myself, I'm not playing a very good show, am I? And then I look out into the audience and they are going crazy, but not for me. They're applauding into the phone. So that stems back to like, it must be really hard. Imagine how insecure they are. It's like

the John Mayer who was huge and he's still on stage being like, oh God, these guys aren't enjoying this. Like no one's laughing, clapping, cheering, celebrating. They're just looking into their screen. It's hard. Yeah, but the question is who's having a bad time? Like is the audience still having a good time or is it just because of the person on stage? But that's why he doesn't know. Okay, but there is nothing worse than if you're in the standing area and some idiot in front of you has their phone out and you can't see over it and you're watching the person on stage through their phone because that's all you can see. That's why seated is better. Yep. Yondi pouch, here we come.

Now, I want to know for all the parents out there, give us a call. We are asking what is the inappropriate thing that your kids said? They said it out loud. Other people heard it and you just wish they hadn't.

They hadn't. Because, you know, you know that old adage, like kids will say the darndest things. Sometimes it's cute and sometimes you're just like, wow, I've really failed as a parent. I think it's a rite of passage. I think that you can't escape it as a parent. Like at some stage, every child is going to embarrass you with something they say. Well, my daughter, Marlee Mae, she just turned six. She had her birthday last week. And, you know, six,

Sex is kind of at that age where you start to come out of it. They've got a little bit more social awareness. They know right from wrong a little bit more. I would expect these things from my four-year-old but not from my six-year-old. So... No, I'm sorry. Six-year-olds don't get a pass. They know better. Do they? Yeah. No, she's in kindy. Yeah.

The thing is, is she does know better and sometimes they don't say things meaning for it to be super offensive, but they just say a matter of fact thing. It's a statement. Like they've observed something. They don't understand that maybe that might hurt someone's feeling and they just say it. Also, I say they know better. I don't even know what she said yet. So let me judge. I'll judge her after the fact. All right. Well, you guys can all judge her now. So...

Our really, really good family friend. She also works for us at Life Uncut. She's been in my life. Her name is Ness. She's been in my life for like the last 12 years. And she is a huge dog lover. And she's actually the reason why I ended up adopting my dog, Buster, because she was fostering him at the time.

Now, her and her wife, they brought home a beautiful dog named Junie and Junie has been a huge part of their family. And, you know, they've been through big transitions. They've had little kids themselves and, you know, Junie's been there whilst their family has grown. And recently she had an accident and they had to make the really hard decision of putting their dog down. And anyone who's been through that, when your dog is a family member...

It is devastating. Absolutely devastating. Also because their dog was so young and it was unexpected. Yeah, absolutely. And now, look, the other weekend, it was like a situation where they were having friends over. Anyone who was really close to Junie, and our girls are. It was the wake. Yeah. Well, no, it wasn't a wake because it was before they'd actually had Junie put down so everyone could say their goodbyes. And Junie had this beautiful day and

I sort of said, look, I don't know if my kids are at an age where this will go down well. They're really turbo. I was like, everyone's kind of solemn and having a nice time and she probably needs a bit of calm. I was like, I don't think my kids are right for this. And

And they were like, no, no, no, bring them along. And I was like, no, it's really, I just don't think it's right. Anyway, so I didn't go on the day and we went over for dinner a couple of days later and we were there just, you know, have a hug and show our support. And Matt and I went over, brought the kids and we picked up dinner and we all had dinner together and it was a really lovely night. And of course on the drive over there,

I had to explain to the girls what had happened and why Junie wasn't there anymore. And you could see Marley and Lola were processing and they've experienced death in our family. Like their grandparents have passed away. And so they know and understand that that means that that person or thing is not here anymore. Yeah. And so we had a lovely night, had a lovely dinner.

But anyway, the next day I sent a nice message to my friend and I was like, oh, you know, it was really nice to see you. I hope that you guys are feeling okay. And she said, yeah, yeah, we're feeling great. That was until Marley pointed out one of the dog toys and said, why have you got that? Your dog's dead. You don't need that anymore.

Point blank. Sent it in a text message to me. And I was like, sorry, she did not. And she was like, yeah, she did. Actually, in fact, she pointed out several things that the dog had that were around the house and told us that it's not needed. To be fair, it's not. Why have you got a dog bed? Your dog's dead. Oh.

But she didn't say it in front of me or I would have corrected her. She said it behind my back. You don't correct her because it's right. What she said is right. Maybe she just needs to understand that there's like a more gentle way to say it. No, it's so wrong. That's the problem. No, but it is true. Yes, it's factual, but it's really wrong. It's factually correct. But I do feel like at six –

Pretty old. No. Six is pretty mature. Do you know what she was hangering for? Do you know what it was? And I figured it out. She wanted the toy. She wanted the toy. Yeah. She wanted to take the dog toy home. So she's manipulative. She liked it and she was like, you don't need that. Guess who does? I'll take it off your hands.

Well, yeah, so not long ago, it's like two weeks ago at my wedding, Marley did something similar. Yeah, my wife and I got to hang out with your lovely children who are delightful, by the way. Dear God, don't you dare. They're not even here to defend themselves. And we were sitting there and Marley looks at my wife, Diana, and goes, is she your grandma? I was like, no, this is my wife. We're married. And she was like, hmm, okay. Was that it? That was it. What do you mean, is that it? But I was like, we have six years.

Six years between us. It's not exactly. Well, there's an age gap right there. Six years is a long time. She's only been alive for six years, the poor kid. She's like, that woman is as old as, she's like a whole six years old. It could be a mum. Could be grandma. No. Is that your grandmother? Sorry. Sorry. How did Diana react to this? Yeah, Diana heard it. She told Marley that I was her daughter. So she really lent into it. I like that you really just caused like some more confusion to try and fix that problem. We weren't even going to bring it up, but it was just too,

When you brought this up, it was too much. Bless her. Oh, my God. I hope my kids are not listening to this. Anyway. I hope they're at school. We got bed. No, three o'clock. They're finished.

They're finished. They got picked up half an hour ago. What time do kids get out of school these days? Three o'clock, babe. Brett's got no idea. Well, I'm sorry, but we used to be at school till 3.30. Honey, we work on the pick-up. That's when people are picking their children up from school. That's the whole point. Yeah, I thought 3.30. All right, we've got Beth on the line. Hi, Beth. What was the inappropriate thing your kid said? So my daughter would have been maybe three and a half. I'm sitting on the toilet in all my glory. She wanders in, looks me dead in the eyes and says, Beth.

Mummy, why does your bum have a beard? And then I had to proceed to explain to her, honey, it's not a beard. Tell her all about it. And then I made sure to tell her, wait till you're older, darling. Your bum's going to have a beard too. Were you like, because I'm breaking down the stereotypes and I'm like, you know, embracing. Women have hair too, goddammit. We're giving her a pass. She's three. I'm allowing that one. Oh, dear. All right. Thanks for that, Beth. Kara, what did your kids say that you wish they hadn't?

So when I take my daughter into the public toilets after she's been and it's my turn, she'll say very loudly, are you doing a poo, mum? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm like, oh, my God. So embarrassing. It's worse when they start to describe the smell of it as well because you've kept them like locked in. They'll do it, yeah.

I know. And you're like, stop it. But the thing is, it's like I'm doing a wee, but she still has to ask me so loudly in front of everybody. How do you respond? Because you've got to then have a conversation and you know everyone in the store next door is having a giggle about it. You say, we don't talk in the toilet. Usually I go, shh, I'm just doing a wee. Be quiet. And then you hear the person next door giggling. I know. I know. She's entertaining, that's for sure. Thanks, Cara. Amy, what did your kids say that you wish they hadn't?

Oh, yeah. So my daughter coming from a red-eyed flight into Australia from Malaysia decided to tell a customs officer that her dad had a big willy. Why? Go on in. Don't know. We don't know. And it was more alarming for me because I was like, that's something I've never said. Like, where does she get that? How does she know what that is? The customs officer? Like, are you importing anything? Well, my dad's got a big willy. You might want to check that out. My husband was stoked. My dad's got a package. Yeah.

You could imagine the customer's offices that have very limited personality were cracking up laughing. So she's now 11 and never lives it down. How old was she at the time, did you say? She was two and a half. Oh, my God. That is absolutely gold. But also you do question why does a two-year-old have any clue about this? Oh, and I could just – I was like, what, do people think I run around in our home telling my husband he's got a big willy all the time? Your husband. That's exactly where my –

Your husband's like, hey, if you guys want to use that on that TV show, Border Security, that's okay. If you want to advertise that, put me on your ads, that's okay. He was stoked. He thought it was the best thing ever. Oh, Amy, thanks for that. That's cold. But also, like, this is not something that is unfamiliar to any parent. I feel like this is just a rite of passage when it comes to parenting. You've just got to figure out how to navigate these situations the best you can.

Now, Laura, I want you to dig deep into your past. Have you ever been broken up with in like a really messed up, unhinged way? Or did you break up with someone in an unhinged way? No, because I dated a lot of men who cheated on me and stuff and I just stayed. So like they probably tried to break up. They're like, it's over. You're like, that's not correct. I was like, prove it. I'm still here. Well, why am I in your bed then? Why am I in your cupboard? I don't think I've been broken up with in...

I have been broken up in an unhinged way. I've just stayed in unhinged relationships for a really long time. All right. Minor technicality. Sorry. A little bit different. So Eric Dane, and before you ask who that is because I know you won't know, Laura, but that's McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy. Thank God you explained it to me. The really hot doctor. And for like our younger listeners that have no idea what Grey's Anatomy or McSteamy is,

He's the dad out of Euphoria. So everyone knows Euphoria. Yeah. I do actually know who this guy is. So like I appreciate that. Okay. Thank you. So he – there's this story going around at the moment and I want to say allegedly. So Eric Dane has been dating allegedly his girlfriend Priya Jane. So Dane and Jane. That's how we're going to call them. They were properly together, right? She was a huge part of his family. Yeah.

They spent the weekend together and then Eric Dane had to go to one of his own premieres. So she didn't go. He's gone to the premiere. She's watching where she sees him photographed on the red carpet with a new woman, Janelle Shurtcliffe. So she's just like...

at home sees her partner in photos and on the red carpet debuting a new relationship. Okay, I'm sorry, but if your partner is going to the premiere of their own show and you weren't invited, surely that's a red flag that they're not with you anymore. I mean, I have questions. I do have questions, but maybe he said, no, maybe he said like, you know, partner's not invited, like it's a Christmas party.

Like they couldn't pay for parties. I think this screams of he's tried to break up with her and she didn't take the clue because like maybe he didn't do it as direct enough. But it's weird that she's watching on his premiere and she had no clue and he just rocked up. I mean, they have matching tattoos, which means it's pretty serious. Imagine if she just got the tattoo to match his. He already had it. She's like, hey, babe. He's like, this is how together we are.

Look, I think if this is true, I mean, this man is 52 years old. To me, that just screams spineless. Like if you can't break up with someone and the way that you do it is by just like appearing with your new girlfriend, hope they get the hint, that seems like a really, really spineless way to manage a breakup. Totally. She did say that he never actually broke up with her. But give us a call. It got me thinking there must be some unhinged ways you've been broken up with. I remember –

I was seeing this guy. Same kind of thing, I think, like where you were basically together without it officially being together. I don't know. That was my situation. We were properly together. We weren't seeing other people. It's like we'd met each other's families. How long did you be dating for? On and off for three years. Okay. That's a long time. Yeah. But it was never like 100% exclusive. Do you know what I mean? It's like the assumption was there. We did everything together, but it wasn't. Anyway. Anyway.

It was at his 30th birthday and I had helped him with like planning of stuff. I was there taking photos of the night. His family were there. It was a family friend event and I'll never forget it. I was literally had the camera, his family's camera, and I was taking photos of everyone. Across the dance floor. And you thought you were his girlfriend at the time. Yeah. Sorry. At his birthday. Yep. And then across the dance floor, I looked over and he looked at me directly in the eye, locked eyes.

And then made out with a girl in front of me. She did not. He did swear on my life. I'm speechless. I am literally speechless. How old was this man? It was his 30th if you listen to this show. Sorry. I just… I blanked because I honestly can't believe it. Yeah. And then I was like, never. It was a big thing. I said, never call me again. Don't contact me. And I unfollowed him on Instagram. It was a whole thing. Of course. Yeah. I moved overseas, bought a one-way ticket. Yeah.

And then it went on for years. He followed me around. He was like, I made a mistake. I love you. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, that's New York guy. Yeah. Oh, no, you didn't tell me that part of that story. That is absolutely shock horror. So I was like, guess this means we're not together. He was like macking on with someone else at his birthday party. I think like...

Definitely people have like found out from their friends. Like I have a girlfriend who found out that her partner had broken up with her because he'd already told his mate that he was breaking up with her or had broken up but it just hadn't filtered to her yet. So his mate was like, oh, I'm so sorry about you and Damien. She hadn't done it yet. And it wasn't – his name's not Damien. He was like, I'm so sorry about you and Damien. Like, you know, I hope you're okay. And she was like, what are you talking about? That's how she found out through the friend. Anyway, shocking.

But we do have, I mean, producer Grace here, she has her very own tale as to how she got hectically dumped. Speaking of fishy. Unintentional segue. I was dating this guy when I was a teenager, like 18, 19, so adult. Yeah.

So it was serious. Yeah, it was real serious. We were dating for like four months. I'd met his parents. He'd met mine. 19 and four months deep and meeting the parents, that is serious. Thank you. It is serious. Anyway, we decided to go on a date to the aquarium. That's not so serious.

He just didn't turn up and I never heard from him again. Wait, you've never spoken to the guy ever? No, that's a lie. He messaged me drunk once like four years later. Four months? Saying what? Just being like, hey, heard you got into radio. Hey, sorry about the aquarium. No, he never mentioned that.

But it's one thing to ghost someone, right? You haven't turned up for a date, but you can't just never see them again. No, literally. I was replying being like, hey, are you alive? Did I do something? What's going on? And you just never. But if you were dating for four months and you'd met his family, why didn't you go to his house? Or were you just like, okay, a scaredy cat. I messaged his dad.

You are just too good. You just get better and better. Hey, we've got Courtney on the line. Courtney, we'll circle back to you, Grace. There's a lot to unpack in your story. Courtney, what was the unhinged way you got dumped? I received a Facebook invite to his going away party announcing that he was moving interstate. Oh, my goodness. And you obviously weren't moving with him. Did you go to the party? Yeah.

Yeah. I got my revenge though. I stole his light bulbs. You stole his light bulbs? You really showed him, Courtney. He couldn't see in the dark. This is the gift that keeps on giving. I mean, like there's other ways you can enact revenge. I feel like that is the most G-rated version of it, but you sure showed him. Thanks, Courtney. Hey, Emily, what was the unhinged way you got dumped?

My sister sent it to me on Instagram, but he'd already blocked me and so she sent me the screenshot of him getting engaged. What? Yep. And you were... What? How long were you together for?

We were together on and off for five years. Yeah, so quite on and off. So, you know, just like two and a half years together, then like had six months off, then came back together. And, yeah, so I couldn't see the engagement announcement he brought to me. So my sister screenshot it and sent it to me. Wait, so you – okay, you were still dating. What did you do? Did you contact the other girl? Because clearly he was living a separate life at the same time. I have sent her a message, so he –

I've got to give credit where credit's due. He planned it all out very well. So like we were texting and stuff. And then, yeah, the day of the announcement, he blocked my phone number, blocked me on everything. And yeah, I think just hoping to never run into me again. We never have. Does the other woman know? I sent her a message and she never responded. I've seen that she's seen it and I know they're married now.

Wow. That is... Oh, my God. I feel sorry for her. That's a real shame. That was a real downer to end on. No, because she could have... You don't know. She could have known or she does know now. Emily told her and she ignored her. No, I still feel like that's one of those situations. If that guy's that good at lying, he's probably lied his way out of that situation as well. You know? You're going to...

I can't believe your partner over some random chick who messages you on Instagram. That's not true. I was that exact person. I was marrying someone who was marrying someone else simultaneously. I reached out to her. We both dumped his ass. Yeah, we don't have time to get into it. So, like, how's that for a little? Oh, well, I'm praying for some good love to come your way, Emily. Oh, thank you. I mean, I love myself. It's really, like, awful. That's all that matters.

I'm so excited for our guest on the show today, Laura Henshaw. She's one half of the absolute empire that is Kik, which she hosts alongside and has started alongside Steph Clare-Smith. So we're talking like podcasting, fitness apps, they've got food, they've got so much in it. They're absolute juggernauts in the space.

But we're not talking to Laura Henshaw about that today. We're talking to Laura Henshaw today because she has just announced she is in her second trimester of pregnancy. Now, that might seem like everyone's like, okay, cool. She's having a baby. But I think what's interesting about this is last year, Laura released a mini series, like a podcast series called

titled Do I Want Kids? Because she's always been on the cusp of trying to decide what is right for her and she wanted to put out the pressures that people experience when they are trying to make this big life-changing decision. And I related heavily to that because I've always been in the same space. Obviously, Laura has made the decision to have kids. She's on the show today. Welcome, Laura, and congratulations. Hello. Thank you so much. Laura, now that you're coming out of the trenches of the first trimester, how are you feeling?

Much, much better now. The first trimester, I think as well, because you don't tell that many people. And also like it's obviously so early, the embryo is tiny. I felt so sick and I also felt quite depressed. Yeah.

Yeah, it's hard, isn't it? It was a lot to take in and I'd spoke to some friends about it and they kind of said, oh, I didn't feel that. And I was like, oh, my goodness, there's something wrong with me. But anyway, now I'm out of the first trimester. I'm feeling alive again. I mean, you never know as well because like obviously your hormones are going crazy. But do you wonder whether or had you guys made the decision? Were you like, yes, we're trying for kids? Or were you still at a point where you were kind of fluctuating between this yes and no feeling inside you? Yeah.

So we had made the decision we wanted to have kids, but we were not trying. It's very interesting. There's been a lot of conversation online about this, that if I was having sex, therefore I was trying to have a child. People can say whatever they want to say and make judgment on that, but we weren't trying at the time. I was training for the London Marathons

I was literally like four weeks out from that. We had thought, I had a laparoscopy booked in on the 15th of May, thinking that we had to, like endometriosis, looking at that and kind of exploring a few other things. So we definitely were not, yes, we were not trying at the time. So it was a very big surprise, but we had decided we did want to have kids. What has the conversation been like off the back of doing a podcast series and being so openly vocal about the fact that you are unsure about

and then coming out saying you're pregnant because I can imagine, I mean, I've seen a little bit of discourse around it, which is a shame, but what do you want to say to those people? Because I feel like people are making it sound like once you've made a decision, you're not allowed to change your mind.

Yes, that's exactly, exactly right. And I feel like both of you would relate to this so much. And it's not just with having kids or not having kids. There's so many other decisions, but it's been really interesting. And I didn't expect a lot of people to listen to the whole podcast series, but a lot of people, I think, saw a few snippets and thought, oh, you don't want to have kids. So a lot of the commentary has been, as you said, kind of saying, oh,

oh, like, didn't you not want to have kids five minutes ago? And I think while I didn't, we didn't change our mind. Like we actually just genuinely didn't know when we made the decision that we did want to. I think my biggest response to that is just that if we had have changed our mind about a decision that is life altering for us and affects no one outside of myself and my husband, it is completely okay for us to change our mind. Totally.

Yeah. But you know, I mean, the biggest thing I've learned throughout my motherhood experience is that the people who are going to judge are going to judge anyway. The people who are going to have opinions on it are going to have opinions. And I think the reality is unless you kind of go into motherhood as this sacrificial lamb where your kids are

every single thing that you've ever wanted and nothing else matters, there's always going to be some criticism, whether that's because you're a working mom or because you're still running businesses or, you know, it's the juggle and the pressure on moms to do it perfectly is so much greater than the pressure on dads. But it's interesting that people have a go at you for taking your time to do your due diligence and work out what you really want. Because if there's anything that you need to work out, if it's a yes or a no, it's having a life altering decision like having a child.

Oh, 100%. I think the other thing is, and it was really interesting in exploring the mini series last year, a lot of women said this to me, and I think it was really awesome that they were honest. They said that they at the start really didn't like that I was doing this podcast series because they didn't feel like they could make the choice for themselves. They felt, we know there's so much, like we live in a pronatal society. There is so much pressure on women, like as our, well, I don't believe it's our purpose in society, but it is definitely

definitely a part of the kind of patriarchal belief system that we as women should bear children and so a lot of women haven't felt like they could actually think about it and make that decision for themselves and so I think as well sometimes when we see someone like actually thinking about it that can be a way that we react and I totally understand that. Well I also think

I mean, for whatever reason, and it's obviously so deeply wrong, but there's a selfishness that's linked to it. We assume that if you don't want to have kids, then there must be something about the life that you want to live that's inherently selfish. And it's just those two could not be further from the truth.

But Laura, I saw something that you posted the other day or it might have even been yesterday and it was around when you, I mean, every influencer posts like the happy peeing on that, you know, clear blue stick and the two double lines and crying and it's all kind of like the same moment of happiness and joy.

And I resonated so much to what you posted. You shared the moment that you discovered you were pregnant and your husband Dalton was in the shower. And it was just a very real moment that wasn't wrapped up in the absolute joy. It was wrapped up in more, I guess, shock, shock and surprise and processing. What was that like for you guys?

Oh, yeah. I mean, thank you for saying that. I mean, the funniest thing, I didn't even think about it, but everyone was like, why did your husband not get out of the shower? I was filming and he was naked. He was also processing. Yikes. But that's right. And I think that's the thing. I was like, we didn't have, I can't actually remember if we even hugged.

Like I'm sure we did at some point, but it wasn't this beautiful emotional embrace. And it's really interesting that thinking about that moment of finding out if like that we were pregnant was actually a part of the reason that I thought that maybe I was undeserving of having children or I shouldn't because I didn't think I was going to be emotional.

And I'm really glad that I realised that that's no reason to decide to or not have kids. But the thing is, like, for me, when I was shocked, I was in absolute shock. As I said, we weren't trying. Even if we were trying, I think it is always going to be a shock, right? And you're not necessarily going to respond in the way that you see online. And it's been really interesting, like...

Totally. Laura, very much the same as your story. So many people wrote to me and said, oh my goodness, I've always felt like something was wrong with me because I didn't cry when I found out. But I'm so happy and I love my child. But I didn't feel emotional. You know, Laura, I mean, there's one reaction which is shock. When I found out I was pregnant, I sat on the floor and cried, not out of happiness. It was not planned. I'd not been with my partner for very long at the time. I was really worried about how he was going to respond to it because we knew we wanted to have kids, but it was...

still early doors and like, yeah, I sat on that bathroom floor by myself and bawled my eyes out because my reaction to it wasn't elated joy of motherhood. It was, oh my God, what have I done? Well, Laura's, I loved your response, Laura, that was like so practical and pragmatic. The first thing you said was like, can I still do the London Marathon? Yeah.

Priorities. And you didn't do it. And I remember you saying, what did you say? You said something's happening with my... I said I was tired, which is true. You would have struggled in that first trimester, that's for sure. But I think it's nice... Oh, of course. I think it's nice that both you, Laura, are talking about the fact that it's...

It's not the way that everyone necessarily thinks it is and maybe that your first impression isn't pure joy and happiness but that doesn't take away from the fact that it's still something you love and want. Totally. And I think like, I mean, just in, I don't want to leave it with that I sat on the floor devastated and not round that one out. Becoming a mum has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. Like I could not love motherhood and being a mum to my beautiful girls more and it's

You know, I think that everyone has different reactions when they find out and everyone processes pregnancy very differently. And that has no indication on what type of mum you're going to be.

Amen, Queen. A hundred percent. It's so, so true. I think it's amazing that you shared that because I've had some also messages from people saying I cried of like sad tears because I was like, what's going to happen of fear? And I felt like I could never tell anyone that because I felt like it meant I didn't love my child when obviously that is not the case at all. What do you want to say to anyone listening that is maybe a bit undecided about whether they want to go down the journey of having kids, but

but they also feel the time crunch from the biological clock and the pressure. Asking for a friend as a 38-year-old. Oh, the clock. Yeah, it's a killer. I think the first thing I would say is that the fact that you are thinking about it, and you mentioned this before, Britt, it is a life-altering decision. It is so important that we put time into thinking about it. So the fact you were thinking about it is so, so, so amazing. Go on the journey.

And also just take that pressure off yourself. I think when you feel the clock, it's like, oh, my goodness, I have to make the decision, I have to make the decision. But making the decision first for yourself, that is the most important thing. And then you can look at, okay, what does this mean? If you do decide you want to have kids, when will we have to start trying? Do we have to freeze our eggs, et cetera, et cetera? It's a whole thing. Yeah.

It is. It is. Laura, we could not be more thrilled for you. Congratulations. We're hooked. We can't wait to watch and follow the pregnancy journey with you. No, we're just so excited for you. If you want to live stream the birth, we'll watch that as well. Thank you so much, guys.

I have Marlee May's birthday party this weekend. Kids' birthday parties. Big. Big. Massive. Especially once they've hit school because, you know, you've got to invite all the school friends. I actually haven't been invited there. Well, you're not a school friend. There's a bit more politics involved. Well, what am I? I'm an auntie. You are, but no, the aunties aren't coming. It's like they get real specific when they get to school and they pick exactly who's coming. Oh, so now she didn't invite me. No, sorry, you didn't get invited by me.

Okay, play on as you were. Marley's old enough to choose her friends now and you didn't make the cut. I'm so sorry, Brie. You can come over. Why do I take that so personally? You can have a juice with me instead. But look, there is an Aussie mum who has absolutely divided followers online and also has received a lot of criticism for the very unconventional gift that she brings to kids' birthday parties. Have a listen to this.

So you know when you're at a kid's birthday party and everyone wants to help, but nobody knows how to help because they don't know where any of the cleaning stuff is. So I bring my bag of rags. I bring cleaning rags. I like to bring dishwashing detergent because you can bet your boots that the parents may have run out of dishwashing liquid.

And the other thing I bring is a lot, a lot of tea towels. So that's my present for a kid's birthday party, a bag of rags. Does anyone else do like that? No. But she doesn't get invited many places. No one else does that. Imagine. Happy birthday, Elizabeth.

A bag of rags. Okay, I saw this. I have a sneaking suspicion she does not want to be invited to kids' birthday parties. That is so funny. She's put this in place so that she never gets invited to another six-year-old party again. She's like, I know what will deter these little kids from inviting me. A bag of rags, some dishwashing detergent and some extra tea towels. I mean, look, let's dig a little deeper here. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt.

She does say that she doesn't like to bring gifts for kids that'll just end up in landfill. So that is fair. Like a lot of people get better gifts. Put some money in there. Trust fund, Jane. Don't give them something that'll end up in landfills. I don't know. Maybe there's something in it. Maybe, maybe the family has run out of detergent. If I ran out of detergent and I was like, oh my God, where's the detergent? And then Jane was like, I brought some. I'd be very grateful. But I think you need to give something to the kid. Lollibag maybe? Like not a

Not a bag of rags. Hear me out. I have complex feelings on this one because firstly, it is so incredibly helpful. Like we're having Molly's birthday at our house and it is so helpful when some parents or, you know, because usually now it's drop and go parties, right? Like so the parents just come, they dump their kids and then they're kid free for two hours. I'm stuck with them all. And then I've got to clean up after them. So it's really nice when one or two parents like stick around. Bring a bag of rags. Help with the dishes. Help clean up.

But I also think it would be very presumptuous to think that I don't have enough cleaning products in my own house to deal with the party that I chose to put on in my home. To be fair, I've never been to your house where there's been a toilet roll. Like it's always empty. Well, I'm not wiping dishes with toilet paper. Who knows? You do let a lot of things run out and not replace them. You're like, what are you wiping your butt with then? Tea towels. Obviously, we have so many of them. I'm bathed now. No, but I don't know. I mean, part of me is like I understand –

the sentiment, but I do think it's a little bit too grown up to be showing up to a kid's birthday party and being like, you know what, nothing for the kids, just a bit of morning fresh and a bag of rags. Like it's, no wonder people went crazy online. Yeah, it's actually, if we break this down, she's doing a good thing, but you need, where she goes wrong is not giving anything for the kids. She's actually doing wonders. Like imagine if someone turned up to your house and were like, yes, I've got all the cleaning stuff. I'm going to help you clean. You would be like, oh my God, thank God, especially if you had dirty kids over.

Where she loses her audience is by giving a bag of rags to the six-year-old. That's where, like, she's lost it. I'm glad we really unpacked that and got down to the nitty-gritty. If anyone wants to come on the weekend, I'll send you my address. You can come with a bag of rags and some morning fresh. I'm ready for it. Okay, so you're inviting other people now, but I still don't have an invite. Okay, cool. I hope that goes great. Party, Marley May and Laura. I hope you have a lot of dishes and nothing to wipe my mouth with.

We have Ask Uncut where you guys call up, we answer your deepest, darkest, burning questions and we do our absolute best to answer them. Now, we've never had a question quite like this one. We've got Gabrielle on the line and she has just found out very recently that her husband has been cheating on her or having an affair. Gabrielle, welcome to the show. Hello. What's been going on? How long have you been with your husband and how long have you found out he's cheating on you?

Okay, so we've been together, relationship for 29 years. Oh, wow. Married three years, two kids, and apparently he has been having an affair for five years. How did you find that out?

Well, long story short, normally his phone has been attached to him consistently. Yeah. He happened to leave it in the kitchen one night and I heard a ding go off. So naturally I just picked it up thinking nothing of it, went to hand it to him and obviously discovered a lovely naked woman on his phone. Oh, my God, Gabrielle. So is it been a five-year affair with the same woman? No.

Yes. Wow. How long ago did you find out all this information? Probably about four months ago. So you're still probably really in the thick of all of it. Have you made any decisions? Are you wanting to stay? Are you wanting? Are you still together? Are you unsure? Like what is happening for you? Well, we are still...

living together, obviously, he claims that they haven't actually been intimate together, which is my burning question. Do I believe that? No. And...

Each morning I wake up, I guess, and I go, ah, I'd love to talk to her. Also, is that the other question? I really have this craving to talk to this woman. Which is normal. Which is strange. No, that's not, I don't think that's strange at all. Like this is someone that has infiltrated your life directly and indirectly for thousands

Five years. I mean, look, there are people who definitely have come back from infidelity in relationships, but only if their partner is really truthful and forthcoming about it all. Like if you are actually feeling like, okay, I know, I've got the information now, we can go to therapy together, things have changed. Like if there's no action in changing anything, then you're just, and you're left with so many unanswered questions. And also when you are seeking answers to those questions, if you're being shut down or you're not getting feedback

closure on any of this, like you can't heal because you're expected to just believe what's being told to you from the person who's been lying to you for five years about something. Correct. So is he still talking to her? Has he blocked her? Like how is, where are things at now?

Well, apparently it's all been blocked. We haven't heard from her, obviously. I think that the wall that blocks me now is he does still get quite defensive if you go to ask a question or talk about it and sort of says you should not be over it but kind of be over it if that makes sense. No, that is rubbish. And I'm thinking the timeframe for me is my biggest thing. It hasn't just been a couple of months.

It's actually been five years. And you know what? We've been married. I've had a baby. He was doing this at the same time that you were getting married, that you were walking down the aisle, that you were choosing to have a baby together. But also he doesn't get to do this to you and then tell you to get over it and move on. Like, sorry, that's not how this works. He either has to be open and it's –

This goes now how you want it to go. If you want access to his phone and he wants to save the relationship, he gives it to you. If you want to contact her and ask her, if you want to know anything about that situation, he has to be willing to be completely open with you. He doesn't get to gaslight you and now say you should be over this by now.

Look, I agree with... I'm a confused woman with children and thinking that life's all... I don't know. Gabriel, I think... It's all kind of sorted? Yeah. Yeah. I think you're totally in...

you're right if you want to to reach out to this other woman to find out more of the truth. If you think that you might get more of the truth from her and that might give you some sort of validity and closure, you are absolutely in your right to do that and I also don't think that you're breaching anything in the relationship by doing so because at the moment it sounds like one of the big things that you can't get your head around is whether you're being lied to as to whether or not something physical happened or didn't happen or whether it was just text messages or

You are not alone. I think anyone who's in their cars listening to this right now would absolutely be saying, okay, if that messaging has been going on back and forth, nude messages for five years, it's probably unlikely that nothing more happened. But you know what? Even if nothing more did happen, that's still such a huge infidelity that's happened in your relationship for five years that you're allowed to navigate this how is best for you, I think. It's been eating at me and I'm like...

Should I? Shouldn't I? It's because you're kind of, yeah. I think I would call if I was in this situation. What would you do, Britt? I mean, I have been in that situation. I'm not married with kids, but, you know, I was with someone for six years that I found out had a double life and I did contact her and we spoke for hours and I got all the information. The difference...

she didn't know I existed either. So we were both sort of in silo. So this woman might not want to talk to you. I think if you're going to go down that track, I would take a really gentle approach with her and just say, look, I just want to know. I'm not going to have a go at you. There's nothing that's going to happen. I just want the information. No. What's done is done at the end of the day. But if it still eats at me, it's

Is he really being like, yeah, he's got a lot to lose. Gabrielle, if you do speak to her though, please give us a call and let us know what happens because honestly, if I was in your situation, I would be calling. That's where I would be at. And you don't even need to tell your husband you're calling, to be honest. Just do it. Just do it. Yeah, just contact her. I definitely wouldn't.

But, yeah. Please let us know how it goes. We're all thinking of you. Thank you very much. We're so sorry you're in this situation, you know. And, yeah, please keep us updated because we do want to know what happens. Thank you so much for listening. I have a question for you. Now that you are, I mean, you're newlywed. Now that you have a few days of wedding experience, marriage experience, what do you think is the key indicator of a long-term happy marriage? Long distance. Yeah.

Living in different countries. Seeing each other sporadically. A great Wi-Fi connection. Continuing to have a honeymoon romance that expands for forever. All right, well, look, the reason why I want to talk about this is because there was a Harvard professor who has uncovered the secrets to a lasting relationship. And one might think it's passion. One might think it's having a hot, steamy, romantic time. But it certainly doesn't seem to be it. Have a listen to this. Hey.

Happiest marriages are those characterized by what we call companionate love, not passionate love. I mean, passionate love is at the very beginning when you're actually bonding to each other. What do you want to get to within five years is best friendship. And best friendship is a magical thing. And you get to live with your best friend. You get to watch TV with every night. And they've got your back on literally everything.

I think it's nice. I'm sorry. He uncovered the secret. Make sure you're friends with your partner. Sorry. No. I agree with him, but I feel like it's pretty obvious. Excuse me, this is a Harvard professor. Don't poo-poo his research, goddammit. He's been doing this for 20 years. That's a shame. I've told him it's a shame.

He's been studying love for 20 years. No, okay. The reason why I kind of love this is because I do think in relationships sometimes we put so much emphasis on keeping the spark alive and having this passionate, all-consuming relationship.

But I also think that sometimes the all-consuming, super passionate relationships can be the most toxic and most problematic. And if you'd asked me years ago what kind of relationship I wanted, I would have said fireworks. Money. Steam. Rich. Boat. Abs. Abs. Private share. Any. No, I would have said...

But I loved like the intensity of it. And I definitely had that with my husband when we first met. Like I'm not going to say that that didn't exist. You were also fighting 30 other women for him though. The intensity was there. The intensity was so there. It couldn't have been more intense. It was a competition and I wasn't going to win. But didn't even like him.

We've been together eight years now. And I honestly think one of the best things about our relationship is that we are best friends. We have so much fun together. We love hanging out together. And, you know, when I listen to this, I think that sometimes you can get a bit caught up in like, oh, are we keeping the spark alive? Are we doing all the things that we need to do in our relationship in order to like still have that connection? But it's so nice to hear that like the number one definer is that friendship is also so, so important. I just can't stop giggling every time you say it.

It's just not rocket science that you need to be friends with your partner. But what I do like that he says is about the fact that it's really important to know that your intimacy levels change and they decrease. Like it's normal to have less intimacy

and passion and for want of another word, if you can read between the lines here for 3pm, but that is normal in a long-term relationship. And I like that he's reiterating that, but I feel a bit bad for him that he spent 20 years studying this to come to the term that you need to be friends with your partner. It's not just friends though. I disagree. It's best friends. And I say this from shut up.

I say this because there are a lot of people out there and I'm sure there's people listening to this who are like, yeah, I'm friends with my partner. Of course, I love him or I love her. We're really, really close. But like they're not my number one best friend. Like I go to my girls and I tell them X, Y, Z before I tell my husband. But that's also fine. People have different relationships for sure. But like what a nice place to be at when it's like the first person you want to tell everything to is your partner who you're going to spend the rest of your life with.

Britt's like, all right. No, I just. Shut up, Brittany. No, this is a shared radio show and you're allowed to talk about the things that you want to talk about as well. And Brittany's like, I'm allowed to poo-poo them. So anyway, happy marriage to you.