The Best of the Pick Up - Whether It’s An SUV or an STD, You Get 15 Minutes
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This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is our radio show, The Pickup, where we package up all the best bits that was on air this week and we bring them here to you, our lifers. Question. This is something we do talk about in the episode today. If you won the lotto, Laura, would you quit?

How much are we talking? 50 mil. If I won $50 million, I'd take a break. Like I'd have a holiday. Would you give me anything? Yeah. We joked about this recently. It's like if you win the lottery, will you give me money because you took a holiday? But also that wasn't me joking. That was a genuine question. Because it impedes my earning capacity. Well, it does because if you leave, I can't earn as much. Yeah, it's true. It's true. You're connected to me forever. You need me. So you'd swing me what? Three?

Three mil? Four mil? Five mil? If I won 50k... Five. Seven. Nah. Three.

3 million? 5. 5? 5K. No, 5 million! Are you kidding me? I meant 5 million. 5 dollars. 5 cents. 5K. I meant 5 million, but like that type of money is like so obscene that my brain was like 1,000. Yeah, 5 million. For sure. I think you'd be fine with 5 million, Britt. Oh, do you just miss 45 billion?

I've got mouths to feed. The reason why we're talking about this is, Britt, you brought a very funny news story that has been circulating around for a long time, but it's kind of like been uncovered from the depths again. As a man that jumped the gun when he thought he won the lotto, I don't want to give too much away because it's the story of the year. It's been the story of three years, so it seems. But look, if you found out that you ever win the lotto, and this is like a pre-warning to anyone who's out there who enters this,

Just don't celebrate until you're absolutely certain that that money's in your bank account. Until it is in there, until you have seen those dollars go up. That would be my advice. 100%. Also, I

I shared, and look, I know that this is kind of reminiscent of like a parent that's just like a little bit too proud of their kids and is trying to force you into watching photos of them at like a party. But I kind of did that live on air this week. So Lola has learned to sing her ABCs. It's very cute. I'm not even sure if it's like an age appropriate milestone or she should already have it down pat at like four. Is it late? No, I think it's like...

I don't think so. She's only just turned four. Kids, like, learn that stuff at all different phases. Yeah, I don't know. Marley was doing multiplications at that age. But, like, Lola... Oh, I was doing Pythagoras Theorem. She literally was. She was, like, reading the dictionary. That's the square root of 79, just two years old. And Lola's, like, just... She's chill. She's, like, ABCs, man. I got this down pat. She's back CDA, whatever. Even with her, sometimes I'll be like, hey, Lola, what's this letter? And she'll be like...

And I'm like, no, no, no, but what's the letter for the apple? And she'll go, C. I'm like, we're so far. We're so far from where we need to be. We're so far from school. I don't know how to get there. But anyway, look, she's learnt the alphabet. Not well, but it's very cute. Well, she's learnt the rhythm to the alphabet.

We'll say that. Well, nah. I reckon she's learnt like 60%. Yeah, actually, I'd give her more. I reckon she's like 75-ish, 80. But she does it with the confidence of a child who knows it all well. And that's what I love about her. Because, like, it doesn't matter what it is. It's like she will do it with 110% confidence. Swim? No, she can't. But she tries with 110% confidence. But that's not.

That's half the battle in life. Fake it till you make it. That's where that saying is. If she can convince her teacher that she knows the alphabet, which she absolutely doesn't, then she's going to be just fine. You know what she's going to be good at? Debate. She's going to be so good at debate class. Manipulation. So long as she can, you know, learn to speak. I before E. All right. Well, look, there's a lot more coming up in this show. It was a fun one. And it's coming up now.

This is the beef that just keeps on giving. It's the beef between Hayley. Beef, that's not what I was saying. It's the gift that keeps on. The beef.

Beef doesn't keep giving. It's not a butcher. No, but it's like it's a beef that's never ending, one might say. Okay. Maybe that's a better way of putting it. It's like a string of sausages. Okay. Hayley Bieber, Selena Gomez. Everyone was speculating that there was a crossover between Hayley Bieber and Selena Gomez when they were dating Justin Bieber. I just want to put my two cents in quickly. Does anyone go for it? Excuse me? What did you say? Does anyone care? Yeah. Probably. Yeah. I'm on this show as a host, so I'm hoping that someone cares what I have to say.

My two cents is that I don't think it's beef between them. I think it's one-sided beef. I think it's Hayley Bieber. I think Selena Gomez is fine with it. She's down. She's moved on with her life and Hayley cannot let go. Yes, I agree. Oh, so you do care what I have to say. Sorry, I do, I do, I do. I thought you were going to talk about the overlap of their relationship from like five years ago. No, I couldn't care less. Okay.

Benny Blanco and Selena are obviously moved on. They're happy. They're so happy and in love that they're doing really cringe photo shoots together because they don't care. They just want to like explore their happiness and in loveness. I'm here for that. So there's these photos that are going around and it's like Selena's kind of half naked and she's got a finger in Benny Blanco's mouth and then she's laying down on the ground and she's got her feet on his face. Objectively, they're kind of a bit odd, the photos, right? But I think they're

But they clearly love each other so much and like who cares? So there's a TikToker who's created a compilation of all of these pictures and she's written, if I had to see these, so do you. That's the caption. Now, Hailey Bieber has liked the very catty post that this woman's put together. Have a listen to this. Hailey Bieber herself liked my TikTok.

I feel like this is definitive proof that when Hailey Bieber is like, oh, it's all love. It's all good. We have absolutely no beef. Everything is completely fine.

She's lying. So I don't think that there is any like reality or any world where she's purposely liked this. I think she's been scrolling through. She's seen something. She lingered too long on TikTok. I know that she knows what it was, but I don't think she meant to like it because I don't think that anyone who is as much of a public figure as what Hailey Bieber is would want this sort of thing to come back up again.

I disagree. You think she don't know this? She has done this so many times that you would be more careful. This is an active decision to double tap that love heart. I don't know. I just think it's so deeply petty. Like, surely no one is that petty. I say this because I feel like I've made a lot of mistakes on social media over the years. And I think it's really easy to do so. It's really easy to accidentally like a photo that you didn't mean to like. It happens.

Many moons ago. So I was a little bit, I don't want to say I was obsessed because I wasn't obsessed, but I was very interested in my current boyfriends. You were obsessed. So, okay, I was very interested in my current boyfriends.

ex-girlfriend. He's not my current boyfriend anymore. I'm now married. I've moved on. This was my 20s. At the time. At the time. My boyfriend at the time's ex-girlfriend. The reason for that is because there had been like a bit of crossover, kind of similar to Hayley and Selena. Yeah, very similar. He had lied to me about it. And she was like always posting things that were kind of cryptic and for him. And it was very messy, but I was like hooked on the drama of it. So I would always like look up her Facebook profile. But you weren't with him.

Yeah, he was my boyfriend of like six months. And she was the ex. And she was the ex. So this one day I went to look up her profile on Facebook and then I got distracted and I had to go to work. Like I just typed it in, off I went. And then I went to check my phone, which has been sitting in the pigeonhole at work. And I had all these missed calls from my boyfriend and also all these messages from people on Facebook. How long ago was this that you had to put your phone in a pigeonhole?

I was a waitress. Okay, so I had updated my status with her full name, her entire name, just Hannah Chuck, and I'd updated my status. Press post. As my current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's name. I'm deceased. I hated myself. I'm sure a lot of people hated you. He called me and I'll never forget it. He goes, I don't know what was going on in your life this morning, but you might want to take down your status update. And I went on there and I was like, oh, yeah, okay.

I hate myself. I'm so embarrassed for you. That's how Hayley Bieber feels. That's definitely not the same thing. I remember I did something similar but not quite as public, so mine was more internal, but...

I had been sort of seeing this guy and I had a huge, huge crush on him. And he started dating this new girl too. This like hot little blonde thing. And I became like so also equally interested in her life. Not obsessed, just very interested. Yeah. And so I remember looking her up on Facebook too. I don't even use Facebook now, but I remember looking her up on Facebook, trying to see it. Then she was private. I can't see anything. So there's no point. Left it. Got on with it. And he messaged me later from like another country. Yeah.

And he's like, why are you trying to like infiltrate my relationship? And I was like, sorry, what? He's like, why are you trying to be friends with Sarah? And I was like, I don't understand what you're talking about. Anyway, I just, I'd accidentally friend requested her.

And so she's gone on and been like, hey, why is your ex trying to be my friend? And he was like, I don't know. That's weird. Let me talk to you. She's like, can you talk? I was so embarrassed. And I had to just own it. I was like, oh, look, I was just trying to suss out who you were dating and why she was so good. Sprung. So embarrassed. You just have to own it. You really do. Everyone, if you've done this, if this is something that's happened to you, give us a call because there are way worse stories than this, Brit. Like we are not alone in this. No. And Hailey Bieber's not alone in what she's just done either.

Vanessa wrote into the text line and she said that she accidentally responded with a laughing emoji to someone's funeral notice. It was a total mistake. You can't recover from that unless you say you think that they're tears. But even then, just a throwaway emoji isn't enough for a funeral announcement. Like, you need words. You need dialogue. I don't think you just need pictures. They were tears. Yeah, you could get out of that. You could say, I thought that was sad. I doubt it. All right, Hannah wrote in.

Took a video of myself doing a huge fart to send to some friends, but I accidentally posted it on my story. No, Hannah. Don't give that content away for free, Hannah, you silly thing. Hang on. What groups of young females are sending farts to each other genuinely? I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum. Oh, I am. If you send me a fart, I will block you. Look, we've got Molly on the line. Molly, what did you accidentally do?

So, I had a friend, her ex messaged her like three weeks prior to me seeing her asking to catch up and she was like, hell no. Three weeks later, she's showing me the messages and I accidentally sent him a thumbs up from her account. Three weeks later after a hell no. It's like, hey, I've had a change of thought. Did he write back?

He did and she really just had to pretend that she didn't know what happened and then just stop replying and pretended like it. What did she say to you more so rather than what did she say to him?

Look, I'm probably the joker of the group. So if anyone was going to do it on purpose, it was probably going to be me. And I was like, no, I swear I won't. And I accidentally just brushed it and I've just gone, oh, I'm so sorry. We are still friends. We managed to laugh it off. So hang on. Molly accidentally clicked into emojis, responded with a thumbs up and sent it. Lots of accidental clicking. I think I'm calling BS. Did you mean to do that? No.

No, you know like on the right how Messenger already has the thumbs up there and you just do the one click? Yep, that's what I've done. Likely story, Molly. Easy mistake, Molly. Alright, we've got Julia on the line. Julia, what did you accidentally do? So my mum was interstalking my brother's new girlfriend and whilst trying to zoom in on a picture, accidentally double tapped on Instagram and liked it. No, that's such a rookie error. People who don't know how to use Instagram who try and zoom.

They need Instagram supervision. They can't just go double tapping all the time. Do you know what my mum did? This is, I mean, not the same, but when Instagram first came out, my mum didn't really understand it. And so she used to comment on my photos, but she didn't know it was public. So it would literally just be like she was messaging me. So she used to write to me like, hey, Biddy, what time are you home for dinner tonight? Schnitzel okay? Like she would write to me like it was a private DM. Like on your wall? But just on my page. And I'd have to write back and be like, mum, this schnitzel's fine, but you can tell.

Just text me. Julia, I had a very similar situation to this happen to me. So this will make your mum feel better. I was very casually dating a guy for only about two or three weeks and his mum friend requested me. Oh, God. I was like, this is too much. Anyway, it didn't work out.

So good. Thanks for the call, Julia. See, it's relatable. It happens to everyone. It absolutely happens to everyone. I think we need a new segment. Maybe it can be a benchmark that's like phone files, you know, like things that go wrong with the phones because so much stuff happens. I know. And you're not alone. We've all done it.

On the weekend, I went to one of my beautiful girlfriend's baby shower and I got into a very funny conversation with another woman who was there who was telling me about something that happened to her on the weekend. And I have secondhand embarrassment for her. She's a mom. She was stressed. She's got two kids. Like, you know, she's six months old. Like, it's busy. And she was saying that she had an SUV, like a bigger car. Yeah. And there's rules around, and I didn't know this, but apparently there's rules around

loading zones. So if you have an SUV or bigger, you can have up to 15 minutes in a loading zone without having to prove that you're a work car or like, you know, you're there for trade or anything. What, even if you're not loading? Yeah. So, oh, I didn't know this. Apparently you don't get booked for 15 minutes. It's like a little bit of a, it's like a little bit cheeky, but you can get away with a very short drop off in a loading zone area. News to me, news to everyone maybe. I'm just getting an SUV.

Yeah, if you're driving an SUV right now, jump on into a loading zone, 15 minutes. So she had to run into the chemist to go and get nappies, emergency nappies for her little six-month-old. Realised she didn't have any. It was like a very inconvenient time of day. So she gets to the chemist and right out the front there's a loading zone. She's like, okay, I'm just going to nip in. So she pulls up, gets the kid out of the car, runs in, gets nappies, gets back into the car, knowing that she's got this like 15-minute time zone in her head.

And when she gets back to the car, it's a bit awkward because there's a truck that's pulled up and he's waiting there to go into the loading zone because he legitimately is allowed to use it. So she gets into the front seat and this guy comes up to the front window and he goes, Oi, look, what are you doing parking here? You know you're not meant to. And she yells at him through the window, I'm in minutes and an STD. Ha!

Which is not what she meant to say. She meant to say that she had an SUV, but STD came out, which sounded even worse considering the fact that she was right across from the chemist. But do you know what? If anything, he's probably going to let it go. Like the STD is probably where he's going to be like, sorry, ma'am, I didn't know. Committee is rampant at the moment. Off you go. As you were. I'm sorry, but if you have 15 minutes and an STD, you can run into the chemist.

Take 20 minutes, babe. 100%. Take your time. That's way better excuse than saying you've got an SUV. Yeah, it's true. It's true. Do you know what I do? And I only discovered it this year. We've spoken about it before. But I spent my whole life thinking that the saying was nip it in the butt.

Yeah. No, I know this about you. You say it a lot. Nip it in the butt. Because I was a grown woman. Straight in that butthole. Nip it right in there. Like not in the butthole, but like a cheeky little pinch on the butt. Like if you nip it in the butt, that that person will hurry up and you'll get things going. So I always thought it was like nip it in the butt. Like let's just get this going. And it wasn't until this year where I found out it was

bud of a rose makes less sense to me. Like it makes so much less sense to say nip it in the bud. Well I think it's to do with like cutting back a tree so if you like nip it in the bud it won't. Well I got it now. Okay. I got it.

All right, look, give us a call. If you have mistaken something, if you've accidentally used the wrong words, we want to know about it. Maybe you also nipped it in a butt. We want to hear about that too. We've got Hayley on the line. Hayley, what did you confuse? What did you get wrong? Hey, girls. Yeah, until quite recently, I thought the saying was stabbed in the duck.

Instead of stabbing the duck? I know, I now feel bad that this poor duck in my mind was being stabbed instead of the duck. How did the duck make sense to you? Like, where did you think that saying came from? Oh, stab that duck. I'm really not sure. I think I just misheard the word one day and was like, you know what, that makes sense. Thanks for the call, Hayley. Hi, Emma, what did you get wrong?

So it wasn't me, but it was my brother-in-law. I had a phone conversation with him and he finished it with, from the gecko. So I was like, ha ha, that's funny. I thought you said the gecko. And he's like, yeah, I did. And I said, you fool, it's from the get-go, not the gecko. Yeah. So he was like, I always thought it didn't make sense. Now I know why.

I always wonder how, like myself included, how did we get to like this part of adulthood and no one ever called us on it? Because maybe you didn't use it frequently enough. Or like, you know, if you say like from the gecko, maybe someone just thought they must have said get go because no normal person would say gecko. Do you know what else I said far too long? I used to say when someone sneezed because we didn't grow up in a religious family. I always thought it was bless you, like B-L-E-S-H. Bless you. So I used to say bless you. Cute. Yeah, no one ever corrected me.

The story that everyone is gripped by is Ben Affleck trying to rekindle his love life. I thought it was if I'm going to get a stripper for my hands. No, I mean, we've moved past that one. Okay. But the new story that everyone's gripped by is Ben Affleck trying to rekindle his love with Jennifer Garner. Surely not.

So there's been quite a few articles that have come out off the back of some relatively cute family photos. Like it looks like they're co-parenting really well. They're getting along really well. And then a undisclosed source has said that Ben would really like to rekindle his relationship with Jennifer Garner. She's not interested at the moment, but he holds hope that in the future. At the moment? Is that what you're saying?

Was that her public statement, Laura? Well, I'm currently not interested. You know... Come back, circle back after the next gen. You know when it's an undisclosed source and it's just totally made up by the journalist that actually no one's ever said this? She's in a relationship. Is she? Yes, that's why she's not interested. She's very happy she said. Okay, well, that's interesting because, like...

I mean, he does have a track record of this, right? Like, he has a track record of going back to exes. Very famously, he married Jennifer Lopez after a, what, like 20-year hiatus. Yeah, this thing is married to 35 times now. Yeah, I know. But bless, maybe they've really ended that now. Like, maybe it's properly dead in the water. They're never getting back together, is the words of Taylor Swift. Ever, ever.

Getting back together. But I don't actually think, you know, I don't think he pinballed between the gens as much as we think he did. I think he kept going back to the same gen, but I don't think his ex, Jennifer Garner, ever actually took him back. No, I agree. But I do think it raises questions because a lot of people do think

seem to gravitate back to old relationships even if those old relationships weren't very good in the first place it seems like sometimes we have this like very romanticized memory around old relationships or maybe they're just like an easy springboard when you're lonely and like needing someone to fill a hole not realistic feel a gap in your heart like a life hole yeah i

I say this, there was a really interesting article that Body and Soul published around this and it was like a lot of people talk about it as though it's like divine timing. The relationship didn't work out in the past but maybe in the future you come back together and you get this second chance of love that I often think it just doesn't work out because I don't necessarily...

necessarily agree that it's divine timing that one person slipped into the other person's DMs. I think it's usually that one person's single and you go back to familiarity. And usually you go back to something that you have romanticized that it's like going to be a better version or you remember all the best bits about the relationship, but you don't remember all the crappy bits and all the reasons why you broke up in the first place. It's the devil you know. It's a comfort. It's easy. You've been there. You know, you can fall back into it. You don't have to go and do the PowerPoint presentation again from like, this is where I grew

This is what I like. This is my job. This is my history. Like you just pass all the BS. I don't know if I agree with you so much because talking about divine intervention, I had a friend who –

Was like the pleb version of Jen and Ben. That's exactly what you want to be called in life. I mean, they're not in the public eye. They're just normal people. But they got married at like 1920. They were school sweethearts. And they were together for a few years and then realized this is not it. We're too young. Like we want different things. We're growing in different directions. So they divorced. Yeah.

Proper divorce. Didn't stay in contact. Like dated other people, had other relationships. Yeah, but not even like maintaining – they were like, we don't need each other's lives. Didn't follow each other on Instagram. Like they just moved on because they were young. Yeah.

And then probably a decade later, she had had a relationship with someone else, had had a baby, like fully moved on. And she was in the supermarket in this new town and she went down the aisle and she ran into her first husband of when she was 20. And they're like, oh my God, like how you been? Whatever. And he's like, oh, you've got a kid? And she's like, yeah, but she's like, we're not together anymore, whatever.

They ended up remarrying and having more kids together. That's crazy. Genuinely for them was that right person, wrong time. They needed to go and live their lives and then they came back together. They've been married now for like eight, nine years. Yeah, but I think there's always exceptions to the rules, but I'm a bit of a cynic about it. And I think the reason for that is because like in my 20s, I was like the relationship ping pong. So I would be in like a long-term relationship. Just one word for it. We would...

We would break up because obviously it was not a good relationship. It was not going anywhere. Then I'd have like five years of dating other people and one lonely night I'd be like, oh, what's that guy up to? And I'd go back. I often would end up re-dating people that I had had long-term relationships with. Yeah, we have analysed you over the years though. It's because you were a monkey brancher from relationships and if there wasn't a new relationship for you to monkey branch to, you monkey branched back. I did. Unfortunately, we don't need to psychoanalyse me on this show. I've spent six

years psychoanalyzing you. I know you. I was a hot mess in my 20s, everyone. It was not good. Thank God for that bachelor show. I don't know whether I'm just having one of those very proud parent moments. You know, when you find yourself sometimes, or maybe you've been on the receiving end of this Brit where someone's like showing you photos of their kid and you're thinking to yourself, please stop showing me photos. I'm on the receiving end of that daily with you. Yeah. Okay.

You're so proud of your kids. But now I'm doing it on national radio, so call me out if I'm self-indulging. No, it is cute. Every so often they do things where you have these real moments where, like, you realise that they've kind of moved to a new phase or they hit a new milestone and it's particularly cute. Now, with Lola, she's only four years old.

I think one of the big things I've loved about parenting and like it's very small but it's something I find very, very sweet is that kids often say words the wrong way and then one day they figure it out and they say it the right way and then they never, ever say that cute thing ever again, right? So and I – no, I mean this –

Like Lola used to say boo-boo berries for blueberries and it was adorable and I never realised how much I was going to miss it until one day she just started saying blueberries and she never got it wrong again. Where is it going? Are we in a therapy session? So, Lola. Do you not say boo-boo berries anymore?

Are we mourning the lot that she can speak? She doesn't say booby berries. My baby's growing up. No. She's just started to sing her ABCs now. Very cute and important for school. Yeah, she's just turned four. She doesn't sing them exactly correctly by any means, but I almost don't want to correct her because it is so cute. You have to correct her. You can't send her off to school for her whole life not knowing her ABCs because you're holding on to booby berries.

my boobaberrys anymore. So now I need my ABCs. Anyway, have a listen to this. She's so proud of herself. She performs it every day and I got it on record because it was the cutest thing ever. Ready? One, two, three. E-S-G-H-I-J-J-E-L-M-E-N-O-B Q-Y-S Q-Y-B W-Y-N-Z Now I know you ABC Next time won't you sing with me?

I think she slipped in their BWS, the Be Wine Spirits. I think she's spending too much time going there with you guys. I like how she's like, now I know your ABCs. Like it's definitely not mine because this is, I don't know what I just made up, but that's what you've been singing. Element of Be Wine Spirits. It's very cute. To be fair.

I was following that along as it went. I reckon that was like 97%. There were only a couple of... I like how she really doubled the Q, like, you know, Q-R-S-Q-U-V-W-B-Y-S. Bring your own. DIY. BYO. Do it yourself.

LOL. To me, I've watched that video so many times. I know I'm biased. I find it like the cutest thing in the world. But I do want to say this to parents because I feel as though you missed the... What's the message? I can't wait for this. What's the message? What is the story here? What's...

You miss the little weird words that your kids used to say when they were little and also the way that they speak when they're little. They have such sweet little voices. And then one day you look at your six-year-old and you're like, oh, my God, you're a kid. Like you're not a baby anymore. One day you look at your kid and they're doing drugs and they're dropping out of school. Hold on to those Bibber Berries.

But I'm always recording the girls and like voice recording them. I have little podcasts that I've done with them from when they were little. So like I would ask them... Are you trying to replace me with your kids? I'm trying to get a new co-host. So one day when you move overseas to be with your fiancé, Lola and Marlee May are stepping right in. Well, not overly worried after hearing that. No, but what I mean is, is like...

I so encourage, I know everyone takes photos and everyone takes videos of their kids, but I really encourage to record audio of your children because their voices change so much and so quickly over the years. And these little nuggets of memories, I think are just as special as having the videos and everything else. Like I love going back and listening to them answer questions in their own weird little way and then asking them the same types of questions a year later and seeing like what's their responses as they've grown and they've changed. Well, I feel like if

there's anything that you can hold on to, it's the fact that your husband, Matty J, still says senile instead of cynical. So there's still mistakes being made in your family. And I record that as well. So even when your kids grow up, you've always got that. It's cuter when the four-year-old does it as opposed to the 38-year-old. But anyway. So today on The Pickup...

Bit of a change of pace, but we're talking about what did you celebrate prematurely. Now, the reason we're talking about this is because I stumbled... I'm still unsure of the reason, to be perfectly honest. I stumbled across an article that I cannot confirm or deny if it's even real, but it had me in his...

I've been hysterics. I want to think it's real just because of how funny the story is. It's gone viral over the last couple of years. Like, it's not brand new, but it keeps rearing its head. Like, every year it makes a comeback. It's made a comeback now. And I was like, surely there's other people that have celebrated prematurely.

There is a guy in Africa who had worked at the same job for like, just say 20 years, a very long time, in and out, didn't love it, had a problem with his boss. He did not like his job. He'd been slaving away. Yep. But doing it because he had to. Well, you've got to, right? You've got to work. Got to make the money. So very, very luckily, like the odds were against him, but he won the lotto, like a huge sum of money. So he was told he won. Yeah.

So he was like, oh my God, I am out of here. He goes to his boss's desk the same day, quits, pulls his pants down and takes a dump on his boss's desk. Have a listen. Now, after being told that he won the lottery jackpot, a Western Cape man peed all over the office floor of his boss of over 23 years and proceeded to take a dump.

on his boss's office desk before quitting his job on Friday morning. Now when he went to go claim his winnings this morning, he found that he had never won anything. My apologies.

Actually, the reporter's laugh is the funniest part. The video is quite long. The reporter couldn't speak for like 10 minutes. He was in hysterics. So he did go and find out the next day after taking said dump that he didn't in fact win. And he's now unemployed. Like he doesn't have a job. He doesn't have money. He doesn't have a reference either. His boss isn't going to give him one. No. Look, can you blame him though? Yes. You don't have to take a

dump. No, but if you hated your job and you hated your boss and you'd been there for 23 years, 23 years. Would you take a dump? And you won the lot. When you quit the podcast and radio, are you going to take a dump on my desk? I'm not going to take a dump on your desk. But I just like, part of me thinks he probably had this moment of like, I don't need this anymore. Like, screw them. I'm levelling this up. I've given away two decades of my life to this hellhole. I'm going to give away my poop. And I'm going to give you a bit of my hellhole. I probably

I probably, when I'm trying to think of if I've ever like prematurely celebrated, there's no big thing that comes to mind. The only thing is that it was a bit of an internal celebration. When I was in the Bachelor finale, I thought I had it in the bag. I thought I was like...

I thought that was a bit of a win. I was in a white dress. I was the last person there. I was like, you know what? I reckon I've snagged myself a boyfriend. Then he dumped me. So he took his own dump. That also just wasn't you prematurely celebrating. Like he told you that he was going to choose you the night before and then within eight hours changed his mind. Not in so many words. I don't want that headline getting out. He definitely didn't say, I choose you. I choo-choo-choose you. What did he say then? I can't imagine life without you.

I can't remember my quote. That is like a typical dateline. I cannot imagine life without you to only break up with you eight hours later. Don't take that quote either. It was just something that alluded to the fact of like, I'm so glad we, how's like I'm being so pedantic. I'm so glad we met. I never thought I'd meet someone like you that we connect with so well. Like something that basically alluded to like, it's you, baby. Hey, we've got Emma on the line. Emma, have you celebrated something prematurely?

Hey girls, I love the show and yes, I certainly have. I got offered a job and I was going massive pay rise. This was going to be a six figure job and I was losing my mind of it. I got so excited and I thought with all that money coming in, what am I going to do? I'm going to be a new woman. And like the other guy who won the lottery, I was like,

what am I going to do? I've won the lottery. I want to treat my parents. I think that's something we always go back to. I want to do something for my parents. They do stuff for me all the time. It's the least I can do. They've never been on a cruise before and I was like, I'm going to treat them with a little holiday away, buy them a cruise trip. How cool am I? Best order ever. Yeah, nailed it. Daughter of the year.

But it turns out I jumped the gun a little bit and I didn't actually get the job. And so with a deposit down on a cruise, and I've already told my parents, I really had to do the call of shame, not only to my parents and tell them they can't go on the cruise anymore, but I had to call the booking company and try and get my deposit back. Oh, my God. It was terrible.

Look, I question whether or not we should talk about this. Nah, I think we talk about it. It's funny. I don't know whether or not I should be thrilled or offended. Like I'm still sitting on the fence. I fluctuate between the two. Recently, Britt and I came into work and... It was a gift. It was a gift. It was a beautiful gift sitting on tape in a big box. Not going to lie, love a gift, love a surprise gift. Like especially when that gift is skincare. You do too, Britt. Like you love a bit of skincare. I'm sick for it. So here is this big old box.

box with skincare inside from a brand that I'd not heard of before, mind you. But I was like, cool, happy to try. Very excited about this. And I excitedly opened the box and there were many layers, lots of packaging. And then I got it out and I was like, okay,

It's a serum. Love serums. Delightful. I need a bit of serum on my face. That's going to make me feel glowy and fresh. Quite a niche serum. And then I read the back of the box of the serum that had been so generously sent to our work. And it said this.

It is a transformative serum designed for women over 40 navigating menopause. And I read that and I was like, well, I'm still technically under 40 and I am, as far as I'm aware, I'm not yet in menopause. I had to have a laugh because I also was like, it's a backhanded compliment. I mean, you, Laura, I'm going to say I get it. You've got your kids. What? No.

Do I scream menopause to you? No, just for the kids' part, not the age. But I'm like, cool. For me, I'm publicly like have fertility issues. I'm doing IVF. Maybe you're in menopause. Well, maybe I am. Maybe that's why it's not happening for me. Maybe I am in menopause. It's not true. I joke and it's not a funny thing to joke about. It's not at all. Take that back. No.

I actually said to myself, maybe I am in perimenopause and that's why they've sent it. But I was like, I'm publicly trying to do IVF. And someone sent me a menopause cream. I was like, have I missed the boat? I don't know. I got this and my instant reaction was to feel offended. And then I kind of checked myself and I was like, why is it that at 30,

38 years old, I find the idea of menopause so offensive because the reality is so many women do go through early menopause or they go through perimenopause. It can take up many years and like 40 is not far off. Like I turned 39 in a couple of weeks. So like to be fair, the brand is not far off being, you know, aligned with the age that I'm at. I'm still 37. But I think that there...

I am. I just want to set the record straight. There was something about receiving it that maybe it wasn't so much even the menopause reference. I think there was something about it that made me really realise my age and I think I was like processing that in real time because I also kind of, I read it and then I felt offended and then I was like, oh, it looks good. I'll probably use it. Oh, no, it looks like a brilliant cream. It's got some really good things in it. I think it's got some good peptides in it. I'm 100% going to use it. As much as we lull and say we're not in menopause, I think it would be really good for us kids.

Okay, here's my question. I mean, you don't have to call up. You can if you want to. But would you be offended? Is this a normal thing to be offended by or are we just taking this too personal? Well, now that you said out loud that you're about to turn 39 and it's for 40-year-olds. People like grow up, Laura. Yeah, for you, I think that's a stretch. For me, at 37, I think it's...

I've got a couple of years left. I know, but maybe it's because like no female wants to be aged up. Like we've been so conditioned to think that being younger is better. Younger skin is hotter, all this sort of, you know, crap. But reality is, is like no one wants to be thought of as being older than what they are. And I guess like receiving something that's specifically targeted for women who are in a different stage of life, a stage that we're all told we should be frightened about. There's something that feels quite ominous about it. Yeah, no, we are grateful. Thank you for the

cream. Yeah, I'm processing. Anyway, if Cetaphil wants to send some stuff my way, I still use that. That's 14-year-olds, right? Isn't that what you use when you're like young and... Well, I was heading to Kemmer's Warehouse. They've got loads of stuff in there.

There is, I guess, the kind of assumption that as the longer you're in a relationship, the more that your love life kind of dwindles and dies off. I don't think it's an assumption. I think it's pretty standard. I think that's absolutely what happens. Like you stay in love, but maybe the chemistry and the wanting to rip each other's clothes off and all of the above sort of like plateaus a little bit over time.

Yeah, and we talk about this quite a bit on our podcast that we have, Life Uncut Podcast. And that's because, I mean, it started off as a sex and relationships podcast. So one of the big questions is like, how do you keep desire alive in a long-term relationship? How do you keep the spark alive? Is it normal? Is it even possible to do so? And many of the experts that we've spoken to over the years have said, yes, it is possible. But like, it requires work, blah, blah, blah, all that sort of stuff. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We're not here to tell you about.

We don't want you to keep your relationship. I'm not here to fix your love life, but I did come across an interesting study and it turns out maybe your pyjamas have something to do with the fact that your sex life is dwindling. Oh, we're going to blame our pyjamas now. Wow, no one is safe. I have a question. How do you sleep at night, Britt? Not with my morals or my life choices. How do you sleep at night? No, because you obviously do long distance with your partner, Ben. He lives overseas. But when you're together, how do you sleep? Do you wear pyjamas? Do you wear a pair of undies? All right, strap in. Strap in.

When I am at home alone, I sleep in underpants and like a pyjama top, something that's comfortable, like a really nice soft cotton is my choice. Love that. Airy, breezy. Yeah, I love that. But I do like the legs to be free to move because I want to kick around. I sleep in running man. Full briefs though? No G-strings to bear. Never. You cannot sleep in a G-banger. That's like defying the rules of physics.

So when I'm with my fiancé Ben, I'm either nude or just in undies, but I never have a top half on ever. So sometimes the undies are like a bit of a – Sexy ones. I don't want to say safety net. I was going to say it's more of a comfort.

So. Sorry, am I giving too much information? I mean, like, we're all friends here. The thing is, is that there's a study that's come out. Hang on, how do you sleep? Okay, I'm in a long-term relationship with my loving husband who I am very comfortable with and I sleep in underwear and a t-shirt pretty much every night. You sleep in a g-string, don't you? No, never. My body would not allow it. That's crazy.

crazy. Up to two kids far out. I'd never get any sleep. Lose it. Anyway, that's too much information for everyone. But I sleep in like an ugly t-shirt and I do. I know that this is like, I shouldn't say it's a protection mechanism, but it's like, if I need to go to sleep, I'm going to sleep. I'm not there for fun times at nighttime. I just want to get into bed. I want to roll over. I'm tired. And I know that if I was to fall asleep completely nude in

it would be misunderstood as giving a signal that maybe I'd be more into other things than what I am into my sleeping. I don't think it's giving a signal. Hang on, what's the point of this chat? Okay, where are we going?

The point of this chat is this study that's come out has said that wearing sleepwear like fleece, onesies, flannel PJs, yes, that it might make you feel relaxed, but it is absolutely killing your sex life. It is sending a message that attraction is not a priority. There's a relationship coach, her name is Channa Bromley, and she said that when you choose comfort over seduction, it can impact the chemistry between you and your partner. And I would agree, but I argue it's not always a bad thing, to be fair.

I did exaggerate a lot. I actually have this really old grungy T-shirt I wear. It's not really nice soft cotton pyjamas. It's an old ACDC shirt. But when I'm with Ben walking around the house to go to bed...

I will just put his clothes on. So I think that that's probably pretty repulsive to him to look at me in his own clothes. Nah, I think guys like that. Their own clothes? Yeah, I think that that's fine. Is that hot? Maybe. I don't know. I wear Matt's clothes. Does he find hot? Who knows? Let's ask him. But apparently 62% of people who continue to sleep nude with their partners say that they have more satisfying intimacy than those who wear, I don't know, maybe like your cozy Peter Alexander pajamas that have a bear on the front. Oh,

I'm not convinced we needed a study to figure out that sleeping naked is like you're more inclined to get it on than sleeping in like old disgusting clothes. I don't know. I just kind of think like there's so many things that we can feel guilty about. Surely after 10 years of being with your partner, you're allowed to wear pajamas that are just for comfort and aren't for sex appeal. Like not everything that you need to do should be about seduction. Why don't you go and try it out tonight, Laura? See what happens. Go to bed, no shirt on, little G-Banger and report back.

Because that's the only way to really solidify this study. The problem that I have is that my husband comes to bed too late. So, look, I go to bed at 9.30 at the moment. Do you? Yeah, 9.30, 10 o'clock. Wow. But he comes to bed at 11.30 at night. And so, like, for me, my argument is, like, that is an unrealistic expectation. If you come to bed at 11.30 at night, ain't nothing happening except sleeping. So, if he comes to bed at 9.30, it's on. Yeah. Until 9.33. Yeah.

You've got until 9.30, until 9.45. And if that window is not happening, it's not happening, pal. The shirt's going back on. Literally.