461: A Reflection On Growing Up With Jocko as A Father. w Rana Willink
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This is joko podcasts ter before sixty one with echo, Charles me. Joko willing, good evening. Eo, good. IT was a good test. IT was a good way to figure out who really had the will to win.

And I had to put them through some pieces in the morning with your standard spirits and jumps and push ups and body Carriers, and made him hit to serve and get wet and run a little bit more and all that kind of stuff. You, me, I tested them with some complicated instructions in various physical and mental tasks that required leadership in memory and attention. Detail this kind of stuff, right? And so then, as i'm really trying to pass out who wanted Victory, I came up with another test.

And this was wasn't a complicated test. I told them what they had to do was swim across the river. This river is down by the ocean.

Swim across the river. Go get the biggest possible rock that they could Carry and then swim back. And whoever could put their rocket my feet, whichever rock was the biggest would win, I fail to, was a good test of more than strength.

I wasn't really thinking about that. Or in der, I was not really think king about that was inking a good ability to adapt. Because if you're going to Carry a rock in one hand, you can have to adjust your swimming technique.

And whoever could adapt and keep up their speed on the swimming would be going. So I give the starting command, which is standby boston. And off they ran, and they also ported into the water, you know, ankle deep and then waste deep and then chest deep, and then because, you know, the river gets deeper.

And then I got to the deep part, and then they all starts swiming across. I don't know how far was maybe the wife of the rivers thirty five years. Just something like that is probably about twenty yards in the middle.

That's to you. That's above six feet a deep and so on, watching. And they they get across the river in the way. And now the other side, and they come up on the other side, and I was watching, and they were all kind of picking up but the rocks and heading back towards the water, like a tennis ball size rocker, maybe a baseball size rocker, maybe a soft policy zed rock, and then they are all heading back to the water.

But there's one individual who was looking around and picked up a big, a big, giant monster rock, had to lift IT like super style dead lift. You don't say like, uh, strong man competition style eight to two hands and can wrapped around and picked IT up IT was that was a certainly too big to be Carried with only one hand and definitely you could not swim with this thing. So I thought myself, there's a going to be some lessons learned for this individual.

Not maybe not the sharp tool should. But I watched in and I see that competitor, right? And I see a look of determination as they walk back toward the river deeper and you know, ankles and then needs and then waste.

And then just now i'm thinking, i'm getting more curious. You start paying attention. You see someone is doing something totally different.

And I A waterman, right? I know that is not possible to swimming. This rock is not, especially because you can use your hands.

Maybe you could tie and order yourself, you could treat water for a moment, but even that I don't think you could actually do IT. So I didn't really think that this competitor was gonna able to pull this off. Seem like, like I said, the bad judgment was going to come to play, and you'd get to learn lesson.

But they kept walking shoulder deep, the neck deep, and then chin deep, and then submerged. And I saw, like the crown of the head, the scalp disappear, water being weighed down by the, by the rock. And some time went by.

And you could see like little bubbles, like a little trail. And as the time past, I thought, well, tell me, run out of breath soon. And right around that time, right as I started to get a little bit concerned, it's suddenly a face broke the surface of the water momentarily and grabs a big, breaking, gasping breath of air.

And way back under IT was IT was real. Obviously, they had pushed themselves of the river bed and grabs the breath, and then came back down and kept walking. And then that happened again.

Another desperate but determined face, breaching the surface and stealing a breath and then disappearing into the deaths once again. And but they were making progress. And after maybe the fourth one, IT seemed okay.

They're gona pull this off. And there was a long slog. But, you know, they drove on, and this individual didn't really seem m to care too much about the pain in the discomfort. And they move closer, closer. And finally the head came out of the water. And by this time, many of the other competence had made IT to me because they were kind of swimming, and they would place their, i'll say, there are humble rocks at my feet, you know, the little apple sized rock, maybe a maybe the bag is about a great fruit size, maybe two, three pounds. And then came the determined human lumbering out of the water with a six year, seventy pounds rock um a colossal one cradled in her arms like a big, massive depleted uranium.

He came over to me, drop the bolder at my feet, looked at me and smiled because he knew he had one and we both either went even close and so I called the attention of the other competitors, probably about, I don't know, maybe fifteen girls between the ages of seven and ten, all, all family, friends of or friends of my family, that we are camping at the beach. And I told him that the winner, by a long shot, was ran a willing, my daughter and SHE smiled, and I smiled to, I think he was probably seven, eight years old at this time. Initials, one of the very, one of the first and most profound indicators of her level of determination in life.

And he continued on that path of determination, pushing herself getting Better. And she's always done that with a smile on her face. And it's an honor to have here, here with us tonight to share some stories of life, her life, her struggles, her lessons, and hopefully allow me to share some of mind as well. Ran a willing thanks.

You're joining us. Hello, thanks for having me.

You are, you are a tough little kid in the river. How can you wanted to win? So .

but no, no, I just said.

do you remember that pretty?

Yeah, I remember yeah, my dad, you still make us do all these like evolutions, single place where we camped with a bunch of family friends and made us Carry like our little mini blog about on our heads and got into the river.

It's fun. That is fun. Let's go back. Let's go back before that. What is what is the first thing that you remember of life?

First thing I remember from life.

I don't know, like there I I remember elementary school law growing up in ocean beach and with my two other siblings at the time and going to elementary school being like super um no at all and the knowing in like grades one through four, like if I got if I got a question wrong on the multiplication test, I would cry like guy was such. I just wanted, do you .

member your shy face? Do you member that?

Yeah do definitely.

Because when you are really little, you are really extremely shy. And so when anyone would come over to talk to any of our family, you would hide behind momma legs. You'd hide because you are super shy. I don't know if this had anything do with that, but at one point, your older sister cut your hair, you know, kind of off SHE .

cut off SHE .

cut you her kind of off and um you know you had long hair and then I don't aware your mom and my wife and where he was but your sister fray, I got out scissors and decided to style your hair and so just kind of cut .

IT off yeah and I would do anything he told me to do because there is my older sister so SHE said, work on your hairs I got right guess we're doing IT .

um you the other thing that's interesting, I remember there was there was some kind of a party at the seal thing and one my my PPT une chief at the time, who's a great friend of mine, who i've known since I was a team, one back in the day and he he he was married. He had one kid and and he showed up at this party, and his daughter was like, the cute, this little thing, and her hair was brave. And there was ribbons in her hair.

I think they were like White and pink ribs in her hair, and they matched her skirt, and her skirt matched her shoes. And SHE just was a cua button. And then we pull up and IT.

Our family, our children look like feral animals. Like, no, first of all, my son didn't work shoes. He rarely ever wore a shirt, and he just wore swim trunks. And these are like navy exchange swim trunks or or a target swim trunks know just that was what he would were, uh my my oldest daughter would wear a ballerina. What is that called a tuto? You to wear pink too, like this is just what you and then you would wear a leitner um all the time and the thing is everyone's like all these pieces of clothing or grind .

me like nasty.

I was not even in my wife would wash them, but they were just stained and he was like, I think I think the attitude for my wife was instead of being like, no, you have to like, put this on. No, you need to you is OK that do you want to call whatever? I got three freking kids below the ages of six, like, i'm over IT where whatever you want and so yeah, you you kids definitely good and I was pretty wild team but that was the first time I was like, oh, if you saw my family from if you didn't know anything, you'd be like that these people fell some hard time so so so that's kind of the early the early kids now you mentioned um camping up a sand lah o that's something that we did every summer for between a week and two weeks， which is awesome.

Yeah lot of times .

one of your members, I would have to work yeah yeah so I would just go to work because it's it's an extra, whatever half an hour to get to work. And that the funny thing is echoes is this campsite. If you think you're quote going on vacation, you might think you go somewhere that's far away. Now this is a twenty minutes from our house but everyone would go and um they would just be chaos and awesome ness for a week to two weeks sun, everyone just keep a iola's sun and earns shaping everywhere from just all day in the water you know the feet would be a iolaus and but IT was caught as aten did you enjoy yeah I feel like when we were coming up with .

things to talk of all that's like the most that's like the place where I have the most memories, like as a whole family because everything was just like everything was so chaotic at our house that he was a place where we all went and we all just had to be there. There was no like ballet lessons to go to. No genetics, none of that.

So and I don't really remember you leaving to work. I think we've probably just down at the beach to the entire time you were working. But yeah, I don't. I feel like all of my good memories with like my child and friends and the fan works all there.

Yeah, we did tent camping and then we graduated to a pop up trailer. You know, that is I it's like, the one that looks flat, and then you unlatch at all, and that kind of pops out, yeah, yeah. And then eventually god blasts.

We got to the lazy days, which was a real R V. A class. And IT was funny because I don't know. I think I paid, like like, I don't know, eighty three hundred dollars .

for IT, but he was fired. What were they like? The big tent, like the size of this room, know? Or like each individual ten.

Maybe you have like a family ten or something like next to each year. It's my wife and I would sleep in one big one and kids would. And my son would actually just sleep in like on the dirt up on a chair, like we'd find him in his buddy and knocked.

yeah, just knocked .

out on the came around the camp. E, yes, now I can. Yeah, he was. But this is something, is a piece of advice that i've give people now is if you can pull your kid out of school, do IT you like if you if you're have an opportunity, you got some, you know, at work, you're going to such in such a place.

Or you get something, some opportunity, pulled your kid out of school and take him to do something. Do IT like a hundred percent. Do IT do as much as you can. I did, I mostly did that with my son because I don't know, I guess because he's a boy and he served and he was more interested in other things. But I wish I won't done IT more you guys too um because that just wait Better I just wait you used to will have more memories than you will get from your desk at school yeah feels like .

uh also I mean that depends on what he is going to do, you know pull out of school to go watch T V or something like but yeah see what you say but he gives them like reps in the real world do you know little experience, but it's like not just who is a fun experience, it's like you get playing time in the real world rather than in the class. The classroom, so that i've been very beneficial are playing time.

all right. So you mean, you know, I started off talking about these like competitions and stuff, and there is a lot of there's a lot of fun competitions to be had um like how who can hold their head in the ice chest and like no cooler s who can hold their head in there the longest.

Wait hand, I did. So these competitions in all these different evolutions .

or .

what did he participate .

or reach .

came up the ideas .

you guys do.

But I feel like every like I don't remember much not being like a competition yeah .

so no like fun, like a leisure activities who is just more like I see who comes out on top today OK right good .

tip like cooking hang on this polar bar no um all even things like can you see me do the psychosis? Even things like talent shows yeah because you they would put on like a talent show .

something and I would .

just a judge yeah I know just you not even like funny judge. Everyone wins, not in everyone wins sort of situation. Yes, he was the winner. Got got like an ice cream from the camp store or whatever or just got like love from your father.

Remember, yorkers were have a jumping in the world diving contest.

I remember you very much. I got to witness this. My healthy. I mean, like, that was a dive. I was like, anything into into the water.

Jump off the platform.

yeah. And I saw your method right away like I see what is you .

know and it's the cool thing is they get into.

oh yeah, that works.

IT takes all even though there's no prize of any kind in that case.

Actually ran is right. You're party more right than you. Then you realize love from your father so if it's like you have talked us over her, blowing up to set with this present is all of the king who and then he's giving tips and saying that's really good is all let you explain the method but you know when he's like implementing his method, brother, that's really what you driving for like I just want approval from this guy, know which actually I did learn something from from .

that where away.

I'll tell your method first. Then i'll .

say that basically the method is to give them really like distinct feedback. So like when your kids and he was a whole bunch of kids, I was party ten kids. But let's say freddy kids up.

And freddy like walks to the end of the diving board and he jumps off. And these kids are like six. I mean, he jump ing off like a wild man, but i'd say, are you pretty? Hey, listen.

Overall, not bad technique, a little bit marginal because your hands were flap in all of the place. But most important, your attitude. You walk to beautiful, you are, have a good time.

No one want to see you not have a good time. So because of that, i'm docking you down to a two point nine try again. And the next time he would go, his hands would be controlled that decide he have a big smile on his face that he would get I be alright. There we go for a point two improvement. So there's the method.

What did you you remember? But this method, like desert in the belt, is like, oh, that makes sense.

Wasn't like good, are watching, don't are no. But when it's well, IT feels like maybe just a good job would be like, okay, yeah, it's just doing a dumb like diving contest. But then it's like when the judges series you going to check, I got to get serious now, you know but like we can even play card games in our family.

That's like we've tried to play multiple like card games, spoons all this but just get so chaotic and we even my dad came up with this thing during the game. Where is that knowledge like you're out is like you're getting objected. Oh, you're getting object .

from the way you out from the game. Echo, I would go. Echo Charles.

I have want to go put their hand up and then and then retract their hand back. I go. Echo Charles.

go.

So not that, not that you are kicking about. He was like a legitimate part of the game.

yes. So game like a musical chairs yeah yeah. So if you didn't get IT, you didn't get your chair IT wouldn't just be like go to the side. You would be like ego Charles and everyone .

would .

go eject host, we have a lot of games that narrow the playing field, the sibel game, but narrow the playing field and narrow the playing field and narrow the playing field. Why me?

But we did IT of my Younger sister. We like objected her and he was like bowling eyes up. I don't think we .

played some honesty .

and of, yeah yeah, but it's well.

there's the other and the spectrum. Uh, Helen is so nice that he went you SHE couldn't even bring herself to say even though he was playing the game. And you're authorized to reject someone, verbally communicate that with the group.

And astra ze, that person, you know we'd all doing and that she's like, it's OK sweet like as word ejected echo Charles, it's OK echo you you did great. No, believed her like that. Even the person I got ejected this year .

yeah that make sense. But but doesn't surprise me that I can stuff and there's a lot of I think there's like a lot of value in these things like click does joke to go too hard sometimes maybe but like I especially that um the judging, the diving contest. So the takeover IT was you right right now where if you just like, hey, good job to everyone, usually their kids, right you want you know want to breaking in sutton m especially front everyone and nothing like that, right?

But there there's if if you kind of construct this method, which talk apparently did um it's even more effective than a good job, you know so it's like a you're engaged so you engaged like I notice every detail of your jump so that feels special like oh, he cares you know kind of a thing that's a boom. They are signed on already. Once that when you like like how you did, then you, then you give him praise, but not too much praise.

You don't get one hundred percent praise. You give like the eighty five percent praise, and then you address the remaining fifteen percent. Now they got motivation and mission, some saying, and is engaged and choice, compete the whole time with me, you know, like evaluating whatever. But you see you, the kids free king face light up, can't wait to get back on that breaking well.

And you know what that is. An important lesson about that is if your kid jumps off the thing and you will hate.

that was great .

and the message is, whether it's great or not, the message is you've achieved IT if you say, hey, that was good, but here's something you the message is, I believe in you and you can do Better. Yeah yeah, you can do Better. And who doesn't want to do Better right now? And you know, occasionally you would get someone that you know was really strugling with some particular thing.

And it's not like i'd be like, you know, I would tactically ally kind of support that individual. I won't go too hard in the paint if there was a kid that was maybe a little bit uncoordinated on some particular revolution. You know I might not pick them for the team but yeah, i'm just kidding, right? No.

the thing is even when you're explaining IT like i'm thinking i'm kind of mentally taking notes like OK, how am I going implement? I bring version. I can bring version, bring version.

And i'm remembering that ever since then, that's what I would do because that's a common game right there. Who can do the best candidate all? Who can do .

the best dive? What you can do? Yeah.

so I employ every single time if I got the opportunity OOM that that concept is in there, oh yeah, hundred percent. But I do add my like certain flair. Like if someone does IT like if they do, when that's like not up to par, i'd be like he, that's the worst when ever seen my life.

嗯， but IT adds that they joking, know whatever. But it's like IT adds a little bit. They are trouble. But yes, but ah .

every single time I used to like roast the kids too, not just the kids that roast everybody around the camp fire completely with a guitar .

so I would .

like singing songs make sense to me about each individual kid and like and they were all were kind of a lot of times based around scattered logical here you know that is do you know that is well it's like the nice way of saying really image your jokes about like poo right so you don't be .

like this .

kid like think um but that was that was good. But you know the thing is, you know I mentioned that like my wife sort like that the kids kind of wear what they wanted to wear. We weren't real super a strict on all these little items. You know I think a lot of times when I talk to people about their kids, I was I think they're always surprised that I was very um laz fair, you know like warfare in the baLance of our times as more chill. no.

And we have even tried IT when you guys were little like one Christmas, we asked the kids, we know go to bed because sand is gonna and if you're awake when sanda shows up to, he's leaving and they they then they somehow convinced us that whenever they woke up, we're going like, we want to open, present right then. So they woke up, want to walk in the morning. And so we all got up I wana clock in the morning and will grow open all the presence.

And then IT was just a kind of ruined everything. We did implement a role there. What's was like, not, don't Carry your room until seven in o'clock the morning.

And we do order for opening presence. It's not everyone opens at once. It's it's Youngest .

st .

st around .

yeah yeah .

yeah it's .

not yeah .

I mean, I remember yeah I wanted a time is not strict though. Yes, I wanted time. You know we want to see what is, you know whatever. But not not in order for the free for all.

For us that was done in two minutes is like one or two I am and we're like.

right was the funny thing about that is like we didn't have much money, but you know at all. And so a lot of, but I would buy something, I would save the box. So for instance, um when I would get a computer, i'd save the box for three years, four years and then just win Christmas time. We grow around package that bad boy back up. You know, zero is the computer.

Here you go with another company. That same computer puts something else in the box. same.

So if I got a new .

computer every three or four years.

you get the old one.

I got that. I got this old .

computer multiple times for if you are, yeah.

I would try. I honest, didn't even know. I thought I was. No, I was.

I was .

like that, all right, I got a new computer were doing good.

Yeah, stoked on one. You the other thing is that I remember about you be in a kid as you are freaking .

strong as a child .

yeah like not Normal. You are not Normally be .

strong as what he always says there. Like I have a multiple memories on different occasions of my dad making his friends pick me up and just have realizing how dance I am. So this week and they were like a couple words he to use, but dense, heavy.

these aren't the best words. So I mean this, this is a lesson. So I I said doesn't to go over some lesson on for me. This is a good lesson for me because in my mind I was literally as stoked as I could possibly be because you know how different people have um different strength, right?

So you you know when you train with someone and you get to, I don't with girls, it's with training with girls a lot different. You don't you don't run. You don't have as much of a regular occurrence of this type of human, but people that are just they are they're built different and you're like, okay, this do its frequent, so heavy, so strong, super dance. And usually it's a type of person that has explosive, the muscle tissue. So like what that type to tissue .

witch and .

the fast witch muscle.

right? Those people are usually they feel denser, stronger and there are heavier for their size. And so you again, it's it's a lot more rare, in my opinion, that a girl has that. And IT was so obvious when you were little because you were heavy, I know, and you told my mind that was like a huge company.

And my sister like.

and sister is Normal.

Well, he was like, smaller. Yeah, he was a balloon. Now, my water sister and he would say, she's like a bird.

She's like a bird. He would have his two friends to pick us up or whatever. Like, oh, god, doesn't SHE like a bird and isn't really a so dse so heavy I like.

yeah and I do that that's stupid. I am yeah is I only even realized, ed, that that was a thing, you know, I mean, and the thing that i'm talking about is, is girls are constantly being looked at and judged on what they look like. Guys don't doesn't really not that much of a difference. And the the biggest component of the way girls are looked at is like their weight. So when you're dad is like, do check out heavy SHE is and then your friend has stopped because .

you SHE is happy and .

they and they they hide five me of course they are high five me. And meanwhile she's like, way to second. So it's just it's just a little heads up. I remember .

you I remember one specific in the goa or like outside in our old house in ocean beach, in the back on the payment. I remember SAT was over here, and you made him do that. And I was like a little bit embarrassed because I, because I had like a great success. I was like getting get married, but were older her body okay I ver I was like eight, seven and so I was like, oh shit like a little bit embarrassing you know but I didn't really think that goes like embrace but then was like, okay whatever.

So let me ask you this about that experience the so because obviously he's not it's not like an intentional abuse or you know nothing like this. It's a in fact, it's the opposite.

You talk about IT now because I have because i'll be like, bro, you literally called me dense. You called me like a bowling ball all this time that's like and he said, due, that's the biggest common and I could ever give you like that's what he said, no, and I understand. And now as i've embraced that, i'm like stronger. But like when I was a kid was like, oh, should did I got to like, I got to do something about this because this is not good.

Do you think that IT be because, okay, so there's a different so him saying that stuff, for sure, it's going to land. What he's saying is landing, but his tone isn't like, uh, it's not a negative. So did you sense any of that going on like or was IT just, hey, you are sing and dance that's bad.

You know, I feel like looking back on, I remember him being stalked. It's just how I like twisted the words in my head .

and also the way, for a lack of a Better word, like society. Because you look at the bar bees and you look at this because it's skinny, skinny, skinny inny. And here's you're dad, you being like to you're so heavy like, just like that i'm totally stoked, but I didn't am an idiot. No, I just didn't make the connection.

Yeah but I feel like the outcome in the whole deal, which would be a completely different situation if you said IT in a negative you know in some bizarre world, there's something if you're saying IT with a negative, told that's like a whole different thing. Now you're not taking IT as good. You're still bad, of course, but would be like I feel like the outcome and would be like way different .

and and I guess the lesson here is like even with the best intentions, IT was not good and a you imagine if you had negative intentions, know you ve got remember this is sort like a leader lesson to I talk about this sometimes when you're in a leadership position, you can remember that your words Carry more weight, right? A lot more weight.

So if if you work from me, echo and I go even if i'm just joking around, you know I go um uh I guess you don't really want to put your best effort to this video that you had made you even though i'm joking IT has weight and by the way, IT also has weight. When you say something complementary, it's more so a lot of times you don't recognize that. Oh, i'm the boss here.

I need to give some compliments because in my mind i'm like echo doesn't like ify say like, hey, do that was a really good job but in your mind, again, it's just because i'm thinking what who I am, just a dude but in your mind you're like, oh, the jack is the boss. He's the C E. O.

He's the lootenant or whatever in my mind i'm like i'm just another dude. So you gotta keep that in mind. Your weight, the word, the weight of your words as a leader is a lot more than you think they are. And the weight of your words as a parent is probably even happier than that. And so even when you're saying something with .

the best intention.

if you yes, they are certainly .

have .

you and yes.

yes, they land with more weight.

more dance .

ball yeah. So there you go. Be careful what be very careful what you say your kids and not take.

Another thing that's important, remember, is your kids like they're going to go through little phases. Some of the phases that they go through are are four days long. Some of the phases that they go through a four weeks long, some of them are four months long. But just about nothing that they're doing is gonna some big permanent like that's the way my child is now.

Like for a little while, they're going to be into or or I don't know they're onna listen to music that you don't like and you're going to why you listen to this crap or they're gona be into some sport that you don't like or whatever, just name IT and we'll get this one of those because you know really got really you got really into cheer leading for a little while. And I didn't like cheerleading. I like, I appreciate IT more now.

But at the time there are things I looked at. I was like, H, I don't really like this, but and will get there. But my point is, if you feel like you need to impose corrective measures on your kids because they've taken one step off the path, don't don't is not worth IT let them bump into the guard rails and be like, oh, that path then seem really smart.

I'm going to go back towards the right path because we try, we worry. Another, another story I tells about Ethan, one of my son's friends, and when I took him to do this, when his five years old hated IT didn't come back, six year old took him again, hated IT. Seven years old hated IT.

Eight old hated IT. Nine years old, his only fine tally into IT. And my point in saying that is he got really good, really quick.

And IT wasn't like his life was roamed because he didn't train and he wasn't even like if he wanted to become a world champion, he would become a world champion even though he was starting five years later than even though he started training earnestly at nine. Don't really matter. So we think that our kids, we can make him into the world champion.

Like, bro, chill, you know who's going to make your kind? You know who's going to make the kid into a world champion? The kid the kid is. So give them some space, give them some room. Um speaking of judge to and imposing judge to and this is something i've talked about a lot of the podcast and which is I imposed judge to on all my kids in a big way. And when I saying in a big way, I mean seven days a week.

not like what you're doing. Echo, thank you. What's a week? I love you.

I love seeing and sometimes .

what we always talk .

about where .

judges is like you're .

they are not .

allowed to not no judge to going up just for all the reasons that we playing other stuff, whatever, and they've expected that.

So yeah but so just like you can just like you have to use the toilet and not like use the floor yes.

good.

Just like you, the pressure teeth in the morning got to do, hey, one day a week, that is the way is this is the thing yeah I think that's a really good policy. I think twice weeks. I yes, I know what .

I think wants is good, I think for like Young kids, because even the even the thought of changing IT from once or twice a guy have just had a kid in my kid's class cry and his mom told me it's because we changed IT IT from once week to twice a week. I think once feels a little bit like ah that's fine one a week but it's like Brown the day the second day comes by so quick that you like good again you know yeah especially .

and you know kids in yeah actually you have the most experiences probably because you teach kids class yeah or you teach my kids class um you see the difference .

like if .

the kid has like not that fun of a time and then oh I got to go again after tomorrow this can be like more of the thing, you know so they can have like a good fun like my son for example, you can make him goobut himself. You going to be like, can we go late? Can we go home early, whatever.

But if he's with jack or or whoever like some new friend every year, they will come. You would be like fired up, ready to gold running around and he did want to leave. Seems saying so he can be night and day like for a kid .

yeah they like he was like chicken and mo having so much fun learning, doing the technique with jack yeah yeah having .

a friend really makes a huge different by the way, that's not not just for our kids like today for open mat. I just texted like the group I was like, hey, who's and I was kind of like, you know, this and that I got a busy and also like, he is anyone who's training and like few people, rog, greg, train, doctor A O, K, i'm in and total .

respond.

Anyway.

hard .

work.

yes, but that's how my older sister and I got back into you. We would just go to Victory took nogi literally once a week, and just go in the corner and do the moves and tell each other, oh, others doesn't work like we would literally be. I think I could get out of this. I can just inform out of this. And but we would go we would have fun and like having a partner when you show up, you don't have to do that. Like look around, no one's making ee contact with you is is worse, especially if you're a girl too, not even to play the girl card but like IT IT is like worse and just having that set partner that you're like, okay, if I if no one else once to rolled me, I have that one person. We can just roll five rounds.

everyone yeah you know, gin back into the but for a while you got out of and again, I believe this is because of me because I was so like just passionate about jug two. And um you know you guys were training every day. You were on saturdays and sundays.

IT was like five hours. IT was like five hours in the gym actually, when you were saying in the other day that because we did, you go and you do the striking class, you do the grappling class, and then I would go to class and then I would do open map. So there's five hours when this is on a saturday, every saturday and sunday but I think I was either you or maybe your brother was saying you would be sitting downstairs waiting for you to hear my flip flops coming down the stairs and .

you get like.

excited yeah like what it's time to go.

Time yes, time to go. And when he wasn't his football, a say back down to go.

And the thing that that was not smart is I would make you guys compete, and unlike that's not bad enough, make you compete and then put you up away class, put you up a bet level, puts you up in age group inter, you're going with kids that are more experienced, heavy and older than you.

And that intentional, yes.

in my mind was like me.

In my mind that was like they, because the tournaments were so small, IT was like, all the girls are going to go together no matter what .

belt like level. Sometimes IT would be that, but then they would be like, well, you know, because I would know that people run in the tournament and be like, hey, jco, do you want your daughter to go in this group, which is like, lower or herself? And we only had, we ve got three girls in there.

We ve got two girls or three girls in the older group. And I think I put in the older group. And and I not kidding.

I one hundred percent in my mind, thought I was doing you kids the biggest favor in the world. And just like imagine how good they're getting right now. And here's the reality of the situation is you go you done with the tournament.

You go someone that's bigger, stronger, have you? You're older than you, you get slashed, its not fun, you get defeated, you get humiliated because all grow, all fighting combat sports and all single uh uh opponent sports. Where is you in another person? There's no team like no, you are, it's all you and so it's humiliating.

And there's an added component that induce itu. You have to admit that this person is a superior predator. Then you are, even if it's a primal, like subconscious level in your mind, even as a little kid you go, oh, I can't stop this person from physically doing whatever they want to me and and actually, I think IT was huberman who who either he had a guest on or we were talking about this. But the way you should actually set things up, if you, when you do IT intentionally, if you should try and get not just kids, but everyone, eighty percent of the time they're winning.

I think that was Jordan peace.

Oh, was a Jordan. Okay, so eighty percent of the time you're winning, twenty percent of the time you're losing. That's like, you feel good. You feel good, but I can be, but I know I can win. So I put you guys in scenarios where often times IT was IT was ninety percent losing and I don't .

even really remember when like one .

one some oh.

I won against my friend .

yeah you had to go into one of your friends and you beater and you're crying yeah because you are sweet, bad yeah, bad. So so what what all the the outcome of all this bad behavior by me was you and your sister and your brother. We're just like we don't want to go.

We want to go. We don't want to go. I remember .

we going to get .

all yeah because I would also do this in so like at the gym it's like, oh yeah because at the gym, you know, you ve got the classes from whatever, eight to thirteen, twenty, thirteen year old boys in there and i'd be like, right here you go with this kid is, know, got a mustache. You know what I mean, where is eight? So IT just wasn't fun.

I didn't make IT fun. And this is the biggest thing I tell people now with your kids, and it's just not what you demands with everything. Make IT fun if you have to happen.

Have a kid because I i've had kids being kids like this, very of this. You might have a kid that natural competitor and fun for them is going really hard and competing and sometimes getting be. There's kids like that.

It's one out of every hundred. It's one out of every hundred. Most kids, first of all, they don't really care about the thing that you care about like they're like doing.

What are you. What is this weird stuff where we brought around the ground and try to choke each other? I don't even you know, I don't want to do that.

I want to draw or I want to play baseball to some other thing in sometimes you're the one that in the baseball do you not understand? Dude, you know, all some IT is for a person be able to hit this tiny ball is find IT ninety miles. Now, you know what kind of human scale that is? Kids like I don't freak care.

That means nothing to me uh that again i'll bring this this clip up again and I don't even know what the movie is, but it's matt damon yeah and and because they make a bunch means with now where there's shown the kid is got like a square at in his room, where is got mats in his room or is got a bone arrow in his room and matt damon d the dad, his Young at his kid and no, you can't make me live after you. You can't make me follow your dreams. And yes, I guess I can like that.

Why are you yelling? He said, because of a good dream. So eventually the pressure and ice, I realized eventually i'm clearly doing something wrong.

What was that? The media .

remember just they were frequent, miserable, and every time going to the gym was a gut check of like tears yeah, probably thwing the are being .

in the collect .

throwing stuff we like .

through .

like .

a water water .

rebellion mom .

to like, tell dad like they don't want to do this and does like very well. I don't care you going for a nice said.

I don't care and just be keep going .

so you did that. It's a good dream that's good.

And did hundred percent did IT. This is like, I wish I would be able to hear this and I didn't. And so finally, I was like, you and you are being a year and the big, the big dish connect that I had.

And this is, again, this is something I teached on front all the time, is I would never impose things on my platoon. I wouldn't be like, shot up guys. This is what you're doing.

I would never do that. I would talk to them and listen to their side of the story and explain to them why something is important. And there was, you know, it's pretty easy.

The seal teams you like, well, do you want to be prepared for war? And if you get to there on the conversation, the guys go, yeah, we won't be prepared, will go to the training or will get the basic girl wild like guys will. We are all unified with one goal.

So and you could figure that out with judge to, like, hey, you're doing this with your kids right now. I controls like, hey, I just want you to be you want to be prepared for life, right? Like you want to build a handle yourself, something goes wrong and kids will kind of go yeah .

but even the kids can't really fail them like such long term like like if you were probably like, well, one day you're you're going to need to do something okay brow, yeah no.

that's not true. yes. And that's why even in situations like going back to what I said about even okay, well, you know you don't need to train right now then and that's perfectly fine yeah like it's perfectly fine.

It's way Better than creating an antagonistic relationship with your patoo or even worse, creating an antagonist tic relationship with your kids where they don't want to do IT. And so after I realized that and I wasn't happy about IT, but I was like you, well, yeah, I guess this is what we do. Now I will say that I let the girls kind of a stop, but my son, I was like, the I don't have.

And then I think a lot of that came from the fact that, in my mind, as a boy, you one hundred percent are going to be fighting, like as a girl, you can avoided IT, you can be quick, waited in lot of cases, but in my mind, especially for my old job, like you have to just fight, you have to fight. Other guys is just happening. And I just kept him going, and I will say this as well.

Once I isolated him from youtube, from his two sisters, he was kind of more on board. And then the other thing is he started like, I think one of his buddies got to think, eating got into at the time. And so yeah. Ja, and so now now we had a couple bodies. But that mob mentality is is nearly a classic example of that mob mentality when so we have our first three kids are born and then there's a seven year gap. So it's been seven years and we are not little house, nine hundred and thirty four square feet, ocean beach, california and my wife gets pregnant again and so it's halloween night so this must have been I don't know what year was, but it's halloween night and where like super stoked two .

thousand nine, two thousand nine .

yeah I think so yeah, we're super stoked. And so we bring the kids together and we like, guys, we got some great news. And there they're thinking, like what we get Candy, we do in, we going to check a tree, we go to the, we go to the nine house, what are we going up to the curse? What do we do in? And like mom's pregnant, and you guys are going to have a little baby, brother or sister. And I was leading from the front. My oldest daughter was, like, got the most horrified book on her face, stormed away, ran a you started just crying and then four followed to, and I was like, bro is up .

like cocker's yeah well.

I think fra, your older sister, I think SHE was very sensitive .

about money. He was and .

is yeah to the like. He thought a child cost money and we don't have any money. And now you can have another child. You guys are idiots and your irresponsible .

SHE literally would think that at the age of whatever ten you .

guys are response? yes.

So why were you crying? Like.

I wish you upset cause fire yeah no.

if you see. Like if the person that you look up to is like, freaking .

out .

god up. yeah. That my sister so much um SHE would like. So basically when we were Younger, we would get these coconut ice pops from this place, and we were each lot of one, and my sister would finish her is first knowing that he could ask me for a bite of mine.

And I would say, yes, because I had to, because I thought he was like, awesome. I still do think she's awesome, but I should can ever buy IT. If if not, I was going to get the silent treatment. So like, I guess I .

give up my by I O.

Which I have finish myself fast .

so that .

so you got you know so .

you you stop training budget too um and that's when you kind of got more really into gym na S A S S for .

a while yeah and .

you were into gymnastics. Did you like IT you like that? I went to .

IT a ah I went to IT a lot, but I was really not good. I went to IT a lot and like I was just some gymnastics place in foma and a bunch of my friends were in IT. And IT was really fun.

I just IT wasit wasn't for me like being. I wanted IT so bad to be for me what IT wasn't. And so I one of my friends started doing cheer competitive, cheer leading.

And it's sort of somewhere to tigers like tumbling. And that actually in genetics, i'd liked to the tumbling par. I wasn't really good on the bars in the bm, like I would just fall off. So like once I got a new skill and IT was like this silly a school ever.

My, that was like filming and everyone that god IT just like me going around the bar like I was like, so, but but then my friends started doing not gynt ics, and he said, you're going to like, you would really earn. My friends started doing shirly thing, and SHE said, you're really going to like this. And the drews family friend of us and I like, moved from genois ics to chair.

And like immediately he was like, a lopsided, he was so much fun and so hard. Like, I will tell everyone that I I like people and judge to say, what's what did you do? I said I did rustling, but I also did cheren then, which is random.

I know it's an interesting combination. And they were like cheerleading. Like what and I was like, ya do doubt was hard. Like IT was like a routine.

So you not cheering for anyone, you're like going against different teams and you it's like two minutes and thirty seconds of all out like like pushing yourself, flips, tumbling, lifting people like all were looking like at the at the cameras, like having to look crazy. And IT was so much fun. I had so much fun.

Yeah lot of people don't realize how hard dad is, is what kinder isn't gyne tics in a way, these guys like prop each other up. And so in college sports they have the tree leaning team is girls and guys and you d think like, oh, a guy doing the tree leader, like he makes more sense for the guy to play football. But truly, it's like just this artist football because you got to baLance these girls up here, like the guys all buff and like big and stuff, and you got to do with all game too.

They must come from domestic yeah.

for most of the time that's what IT seems like.

Well, yeah, that's the thing. So the other thing I remember you tell me about cheer versus gynt CS is gynt s is like super methodical, like you have to do each little, at least the place where you train you was like you have to do. Imagine if, imagine like a two place where, hey, before you can learn the ARM lock, you got to learn the this sweep.

It's we're not gonna teach you everything until you know they think and into your profession in IT. And by the way, you're not going be able to roll until you get your book belt. So is that a good comparison in rena?

Um yeah we worked a lot on specific skills that were like mine worth the pretty but I but when I went over to cheerful like they're like, oh, can you do a standing backlit and i'm like, no and they like OK, let's get IT so I would I I just they would put a squshy pad down and you would go but in gymnastics is like your the progression is so slow .

and I think .

I was kind of like brow, like like me some crazy shop. You know, like I I like I was not that great of a tumbler. You have to be well rounded in competitive cheer.

Like you have to jump. You have to do like jumps, standing book lips, then you have to do tumbling, which is running, but then also you have to lift. People love your head and then you want to remember the dance.

It's just it's just so much going on. And I think I really like to that aspect of I just I don't know if i'm gonna land this for sending talk. I might break my finger, which I did, and might break my finger and might put my face on the map. That's fine. You just like that's all the more reason to like go .

hama and you used to puke every time like at .

the end of the compete, but even when we were getting ready to compete, like you do your routine all out. So if someone falls, you're got to redo IT. You got we do the routine from like zero at least this is where I .

trained and .

which is what is .

called called.

I believe IT is.

yeah, shout out.

out, out. Shout out. Coach beatty and coach Angela, okay, but they were legit.

Like if if we let someone fall like we were restarting and I would literally vomit IT because I was giving my art, like throwing myself over when I cannot even do IT regularly when I go is crazy. But that I think, like made me in dynastic ics. I don't think that I was very athletic. I think I kind of moved a little bit so where I think I don't know, like I did, I worked out we worked out like before school in such an elementary school and I was like, I could you pull ups himself but like you nasi I remember watching videos and i'm like like it's it's like i'm not moving very well but then when during cheer I feel like you taught me athleticism like you're gna throw yourself over your head but you're going to legend IT because like it's like a really athletic dude can get a backflip very quickly because it's just like athletic it's like that moving yourself through out through the air and having to leg really drive off your legs and and that's that and you're gotta land IT. What else are we do in the routine?

Is that when did you get so into freking hand stands? Was that from your masters?

S yeah. Was your name? That was like the one thing that I really just got quickly. I don't know what IT was. A lot of people like progressed way faster than me, move to different gyms and for genetics. But when we do have the hands and competition rail, IT was so echo.

i'm not kidding. He would walk around the house, our house, just a handstand just walk around like, show up for dinner coming from her room SHE just like you in 这是 the through the all ways， like everywhere, you would just hand and just walk up IT was like, you know, so when someone has a fighting habit, they turn their pen or they they a do that with their lips, or they would ever tap their foot IT was like that. But you just like, what would be standing there and just do handset and just like and do hand and .

walking around and my feet would be fly and everywhere .

like to kick you in the face. Was that did IT feel like a fish.

or was IT like you're just like kind into that hard core?

D I me, I had a handstand faces. Well, really yeah, from judea when else small. So as we be ten, eleven before fifth grade.

So yeah, maybe night. Anyway, I took duda and one of the drills was walking on your hands across back. No one.

You walk if you continue. One that could do IT. Maybe a twenty year old guy. He was like, kind of buff. And I remember that everyone like being so impressed with this guy.

Like, I be call, I know I like, like I who can do IT too, you know, so I just go home in practice. And I think you right, I think guys, I was guys picked up quick and that I could do IT really good, really quick. But the progress was quick.

Like when I practice for like even like one hour, I would be like, wait, I can kind of walk a little bit and I I can see myself doing this. And IT, that took maybe three weeks, but I could do that. I could do the whole thing.

And I remember everybody in judo class me like, i'll look at this kind. He's so. And then eventually, when I ve got a dry school, I walked across the football field on my hands and I was like, I want fifty box impress.

I literally just did a minute hand stand at the muster this past weekend because all the kids were like, I can do handstands i'm like, oh, really and they were and I was like, well, I can do hands too and they were like, no way. And like, I can do on for a minute and they're very serious. And like, put the clock on, I did IT.

Wow.

there are so hard. I don't .

practice .

that often either. Like, I think die like hand sands in gymnastics, like a lot of great wrestlers and judges. Players are are like, have those roots of dynamics tumbling, just tumbling in general, too?

Like when we went out to filly for wrestling camp that me and my Younger sister went to this past summer grow, all the guys were doing backlift, all the restless reading backflips. And this camp is really good. And they were doing backlift. They were doing them, they were doing front hands and off of each other. And just so athletic like athletes m even .

like like the tenth planet, guys like G O and buggy like came from break dancing. And and so they kind of bring that thing in there. A couple of things about cheer, I think, is, again, these are like lessons learned from me.

But at this point, you know, now I had, I had learned a little bit more, and I understood a little bit Better, know, i'd made these mistakes with you guys like forcing you to do you just when stuff like that. And so when you wanted to do cheer, of course I would. I was wrong, because I just thought, in my mind, I just had, like the stereotypical sheer leader in my brain of, like, what do they do? Like sit there and go raw raw football player and they wear a bunch of makeup and they have like big hair .

and their we did .

well make up and make up and you work crazy amount make up and crazy about to here but I didn't but the athletic site I didn't really understand and um actually I I worked with a woman who I told us I am my and this woman is awesome like a bad us.

A C E O, A company and I went here, you know my daughters going to do cheer leading and she's like I did cheer is the best thing for me and I was like, oh, really and said, wine she's well, you got to stand up there. You've got to do all the athletics stuff and and he was in a high school here SHE says, you know, you got to get up front of a bunch of people and you ve got a 要 that takes a lot of confidence。 So IT helped our confidence.

Um so there was I kind of solve the negative, but at least at this point, I was smart enough to be okay. I kind of what I said earlier, like if your kids going to go through faces, I thought, you know what, it's gona do some cheating OK. And actually our neighbor deer, because his daughter, this was high school cheer, and both of you did high school cheer.

And he he and I was talking shit to each other, and I was driving down the ali, and I started, stopped to talk. Woman, he's like, so you you let me, your daughter, do you cheer on because he thought, was jo big of jokes or to cheer? And I was like, he he knew, because his daughter to cheer and is going to let your daughter to cheer very accused.

And I said something like, dude, I figured I letter to cheer right now. Otherwise you're going to end up with a frequent a math head, you know. I mean, like when you try control people. So I.

Yeah.

the other thing is I think that that's true once you arresting. So, I remember also and this is just think speaking again about like your natural abilities， which I don't I don't know why you didn't, i'm sure there's like a specific type of body type that .

is good for girls .

on matic s but like you you did um you did like I I had a sage training guys, said bergner and she's like a national level rest her our national level weight lift or her dad is bad as like olympic lifting coach and SHE was working with you for the summer and one day he just said if I could design a human for olympic weight lifting, IT would be rann and I was like, okay so I thought that was pretty cool um I think there .

is a specific built for genois ics plus I just IT just wasn't like I just didn't connect with me. I don't know.

I think I was honestly, now that i've discussed IT with you, I think you are bored. I think you wanted IT more like like more activity and more like a good to go up because I like that .

aspect .

of I have to pick .

you up from practices .

you know you're like but you don't break .

a yeah I know and I bet .

those people listings right now Better like he went to the wrong genetics place because I guarantee this place and IT .

was a beginner in osc s place. I'm not like I just wasn't for me that that we had a good coaches, good people, but I just like I would IT was not like a good form of exercise for me either, in my opinion. But when I got to cheer, bro, I was sweaty and like crazy, like sweats, like never before. Like really, really working my boat off. Like IT was crazy.

So you you get an infrastructure in high school go. I think I I think I just straight up said I will pay you money if you wrestle yeah with .

my older sister tried to Russell and I knew you're gna like, pay me to Russell and the first like you weren't like I was like, right i'll get a paid to do IT yeah unfortunate .

older sister was he was the only girl the team and SHE was just after like a few weeks he was like, dad. I'm literally just getting like my face pounded into the map and it's just .

sucks sweaty .

there these freakin seventeen year old dude dinner and the only girl and that goes .

back like not having a partner that you like that seriously can make a break IT like I like my dad told my brother you're going to go to to ran as restful practices and when he was in high school yet so i'm two years older than him and he was like, you're gonna to rent because I was the only girl also so he was like, you're going to go and just be your partner and that was like, seriously amazing. I wouldn't made friends eventually because I don't think that I would would have not done IT but you never know but ah having my brother there was like awesome because I didn't have to look around. No one wants a pair with the one girl because that's you know .

we're in high school you know he was probably like, I guess if you were thirteen, he was like eleven or something like that. But but you guys were about the same size size.

exactly the same size. And and we were just a little reports like drag on our fee when we've to do runs for arrestingly, like we were always the last two to finish, just like the eleven old in the one overall you know hold IT down but he was fun. I in in mind yeah and people were like supported they they were like doing um the .

first I think that is the first match that you ever did in wrestling like a girls like you always onna fight girl song at you. Like a hostile girl, just we can try to fight you yeah so that was a wake up call.

SHE got a SHE got a warning and then I lost, but I was fun. Yeah wing .

SHE swing at me.

I don't know. SHE just just did. We were both freshmen, first tournament, small tournament, you know, club, club. The heads of thing, I think you just like, was getting pressed and long. But my mom, i've looked over .

the crowd. You like me, couldn't you? no.

And even it's funny because even now, when I compete, my brother cannot he doesn't even like to watch the streaming of me. He said I was nervous. He was like, I am nervous.

He is more nervous.

Yeah, he is more nervous, which I don't know, but i'm like, that's crazy. You are not even going to watch. Yeah, that's fine.

That's actually really good. That means like oba sino, really simply put, that means he care. You know, I cares like a lot of whatever .

I had tournaments or I have like I had to superfly a couple like a couple weekends ago and he was insane o and he didn't go so nervous .

or whatever probably .

yes is when I .

was talk king in your mom that that day because I was there and I was like, yeah, how do you feel about this? Because usually it's very common for the parents or the coach to be more nervous than the competitor. That's pretty a common thing, know. So I ask your mom, like how do you feel you know when you see here, you know your kids computer, whatever is like, I just hope they're not too stress and you know, really has this real since that have really Carry perspective, you know, know things very interesting.

This is also, where did you can you you did your first wake cut your freshman year. And I remember because we wait you at the house and you were over in the morning and we had to come down to Victory, turn on the sa at five in the morning and put you on the tread mall and put you in the sona to cut weight yeah and that was I think that was the same tournament where, like this girl was trying to make weight and SHE breaking caught all of her hair off, like got off. The scale was .

still over right next to me and he was like a high school freshman, freshman and and I mean, it's been a couple of years as obviously, but there weren't too many girls yeah at the tournament i'm like, do SHE throws IT away the trash .

can makes .

wait yeah .

how like right you ended up .

getting hurt your second tournament, which was a bomb and was like a pretty bad shoulder injury and and that was that for your season that was that for your freshman .

season yeah you kept going I did go to practice .

so yeah yeah you kept going to practices and you d kept trying to learn. But you the weird thing is you weren't you were basically bad like three moves you know like i'm a double live double .

that was just like i'm going to fireman ankle pic but even freshman I think freshman to sofa here I had no moves i'm not even kidding and I just was like, all right, let's go but you would win based .

on your just like you git to that you had an ancient memory in your brain and you are just stronger than other people. You would just be able like, like, I watch girls grab you and you could see the, you'd see the look on their face like, oh no, like this is is going to be a little bit more difficult than I thought. Um, did you do? Did you do cross country your freshman year too?

I didn't myself, warrior.

So let's go to your soft more here.

Your soft more here. So freshman year, so you do two sports. So freshman year I did cheerleading and high school cheerleading and wrestling and I did competitive of cheerleading to um but my second year, I didn't want to do high school chillens anymore, so you had to pick a second sport. I tracked across country for some random reason because I was like, i'll get my running Better and I was like, a god jack.

yeah. I remember on a lot of complaining. And my wife, who's the same? By the way, I don't know what the statues of limitations are on this, but I do not know that my wife would like, pick, ran up where on the conditioning run. Like.

drop, we got caught. H, we all got in trouble so badly.

what? You got cold.

So, so yeah, because orange aren't like the guy. What is a change? Our coach, he would ride along on a bike, on a bike and like, mean, my group of friends I were in that together, we would just like fall so far behind because we were gossipping, we were not running.

We were just like, like I had the idea that I was going to work on my running. And then I just simply like, like, this is well, but I actually do remember something interesting that just popped into my head. All the ross country girls wore nike prose, their shorts.

And when I ran my chef like, I would literally bleed like my chief on my undersize. And I asked the coaching, I said, can I please wear leggings? And he said, now to me, because that was our uniform, and I was like bra, because when we were, we were running and they was so hot and we got so sword, then they get sticky.

So I was like, getting such bad bumps in between my legs. Eventually I just wore leggings because I was like, so painful and I was getting really like, inflamed. But I was like, bro, because cross country, like.

Historically has like very slider runners, right? Ah so I was like, this is not going to do for me. I can.

I just, I just switched. I just war what I want because I was supposed, but I remembred that. But yeah, we got car cutting, cutting like I didn't cut the course, the of the official match or official run.

So we'd have like five case for time in against other schools. And I my friends were, well, we're going to hide in the bathroom because there was an extra loop. I didn't have IT. I genuinely I was like i'm not doing that and then they got like around the same time as me because I did the loop and then they were like, okay, were going to catch up with raya, right? Just ran a you .

know well, i'm rather you at least at the morals to not just .

straight we can cheat well they .

got caught to yeah then i'm double glad and then then restating your soft more year you still had your brother coming in but now you also had some friends on the team um and you had another girl in team that was good and SHE was stronger and kind of SHE was he was heavier than new yeah he was taller than you you he was a .

senior when I was a softer and he was one of my friend, one of my restless friends older sister, who just went interest's that one year of her singer year. And IT was so like, nice. Have a partner.

Her name is Olivia. And my brother was starting to get a growth spurt too. So I couldn't like roll with him anymore.

He would just like push me all very well, but I was nice, Olivia. And we had a bunch of senior as that year. And that year was really hard.

We ran a lot. We drilled a lot. And yeah, I honestly don't remember .

too much. I don't know what you I know what you like. Your record was a rivers probably something like even you know I mean is pretty tty even like um but you the thing is you you weren't too skilled, no but you were frequent strong and you were tough and you had a couple of good moves that you would be able to just impose on people. And you know, when I look back now, I should have done more. I should be more proactive and like getting you arrest in camps where you would learn a lot.

I don't. Because then I think I .

could have at least obvious, who knows? Yeah, because if I was, if I have been too fired up, I think like I can ruin anything.

Because wrestling, this is the thing wrestling my dad, my dad didn't not rusty le in high school. 嗯， they don't .

think they had rest.

And IT was sort of because when I did, you did so I did. I I think like I did like IT when he, when I actually had to fight someone, like, well, go no. But then I I wanted to fight someone that guy liked.

IT, yes. And I think the same was true interests ling, but I was my IT was like, even though they're very similar, I I in my mind was like, they are so different and this is mine and that's his thing. You just use this thing because, remember, I would tell you, like wrestling way Better.

I would say wrestling way Better. I'd be like, I don't like to get to you got to like do all the step on the ground. You got to like it's just a pen for resting.

It's just that you just have one objective. There's not these emissions you could do. And in my mind, I was like, okay, this is my thing.

My dad would come into the rossing room like what? Like once or twice. So I was just like me, my brother, like my my restless friends. And I was fun. And like, my dad never was like you need to go to this camp IT was sort of just like i'm going to practices you didn't tell me to go practice is in my holder her I was .

just went I definitely he had recognized the error of my ways and like I said, a kind of, I got missed the conversation, but I looked at you.

I know like.

I can ruin anything straight up. I can make anything sock, yeah, make the funnest thing into like a stupid competition where all the sun, everyone's free, can stress down for no reason forever.

That that, in my opinion, is fun. Like, who? What if the kids, like, just played dive in you?

A good job they would have been done in one second. And I was, I honestly thought I was fun. Sometimes there was a little crazy, but like all of the games. And so I had a good time.

Let me put this way. I'll joke about this with your little sister and let's say she's like, let's say, if he said, oh, d you know, I I want to play guitar, I feel out out do this will be my joke. Throw back, okay, let's go down the guitar.

S, and right now, going to get you to sign up, you an amp. You need to get a give. And sg, a very good at. And SHE is just laughs, but that's how I can ruin things. It's A G it's a joke now.

But back in the day.

IT would could have been more serious and may have been more serious. That's why I was probably like, so stoked that she's rustling, so stoked that she's like rustling is Better. I'm like cool in my mind.

I'm like you're not going to be like you should do the summer thing because there is no way I think in my in my mind, that would have been blown up.

Maybe I don't know. Maybe even by your junior year, you are more fired up for restless and you actually did train.

No, I only trained. So I only trained my junior year, summer, going into my senior year, because I really wanted to make IT to state. I was like my coach, coach Spencer.

He, we worked out at Victory every morning, and then we'd go to tailor Johnson's wrestling class during the summer. And then when we started, we, the rustling squad, because, because wrestling was the second season of high school sports, so we had like those first couple months. And then we, me like, and my brother and our other resting friends would come in to just Victory.

And Taylor would teach later in the day and I was really fun, but that was the only time I did off season yeah on my own volition. And IT was fun. And then senior year was was like crazy.

And you and your goal was to make IT the state and you you did make IT the state and um that was frequent that was an epic. But the other thing that that I think you started doing in ya senior year was like .

cutting weight yeah yeah. Well, I started a couple years before, but my senior year I really was like, legit can cry about IT a little bit. Do you were like.

focused on weight, not just interesting. Ling, too, you just wanted to, you didn't want to be heavy.

I did not know. I didn't. But that's why it's so hard for me to a call. Even my singer, there are so many good moments, like making IT to safe. But at stay, I like, I wait in at, like six pounds less than I could ever. My coach said, you have five pounds, you need to eat. But I like, I wouldn't because I like, just didn't want to I wanted to like, lose weight and I feel like like I was literally at state and I was like, worried about gaining way even .

though you had six pounds.

even though had six pounds allowance .

and you stay and you were like, no, I don't want to gain any weight. Getting the state was prior, like one of my best memories was you so you were at, you are in A C, I, F. And masters is basically the regional tournant to get the state. yeah. And so you had the first .

day you lost one and my first match.

Was that your first match?

Knowing the first day, the first day? And I think I was my second mati loss. yeah.

Either that I was in later in the day, but anyway, you lost to match your first day. And what that meant was echo Charles. The next day he had to win five straight matches each match.

Getting harder and harder and harder as you're going smaller and smaller into the bracket. And so SHE loses one match that first day. And I remember we and SHE had he could have done of the way class below. But SHE qualified at whatever IT was one thirty.

I I qualified at one forty three. So so but at that tournament I was like one forty, I was probably the like .

one thirty six or something. So SHE couldn't make the next weight down, but SHE already qualified. So SHE loses that first day. And i'm like, you know in my mind, dude, i'm like, well, it's so bad that you would make a to stay because how he's going be hard to win five matches straight the next day.

But I was like, I offered up some, uh, comfort food and I was like, go, you want some pizz hut and she's like and like what you want to like, whatever and I just like ordered everything I order pizzas and pastas and the whole my yard and SHE just kicked IT, you know, child down. And then the next day, uh, he had these five matches and what was, I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened the first match, but you could see that little girl that Carried the rock across the river like that little girl arrived in each match.

You could see her IT was also, you'd work with, you know, tailor. You'd work with Spencer, your coach. So you had more skills now yeah and you are starting to apply them for real and not just imposing them because you're stronger, but doing them correctly and setting things up and stuff like this.

And so each match you ve got you, I was watching you get Better and more determined each one you want. You would like getting more and more confident and more and more just I got this in around and brawly Brown, yeah broadly, he's awesome, is an awesome. It's an an imperial valley.

It's it's a they have great athletic program, but it's also it's in the middle of desert. There's nothing other but farms. And so the kids don't have a lot to besides compete and train, they're all into IT. And so they happen .

hold .

this tournament out there umbrel. And in your whatever was the second to your last match, you are going against a girl from brawley. The stands are filled with people from brawley and the brolly.

People man broadly, people are fired up. Men, they are there to win. And so the crowd is going crazy. And you had a crazy match with this awesome girl from broadly. And you threw down and you beater .

nine eight yeah, yeah I got called for stalling. I I was up nine seven and nine.

seven. Just there was crazy and the crowd was going totally and saying, because think how when you when you're down by one point, how crazy is the crowd of crowds going? Totally nuts.

And starling, also, they had a four woman's team start like they had like a team, a teen. B yeah, and I think there was only, but I was the only one like left in from my school, but there was only like four of us that went to C, I, F. And all the girls, like, all the bolic girls, were like sitting in front brand.

The boy girls, like, we'll have a letter man jacket that has a number pins they got on at the weight classes like it's there is an intimidating crew IT props to to so if you won that match, which was awesome, and then and then you had in your in the match for third place, which meant you get to go to state SHE had a grow that that you would beat before a couple times. And that girl told me afterwards, I think he said something like that. He was just scared to rustle you because he was so strong like, yes, but you on that and then you are up gona state, we'll play. One of the worst things in my whole life is when you went to stay, I had a speaking event, and so I went to, like, I watch your first match.

which I got animated, because the girl was third, like third in the state, or something, which is fine. I just was happy to be there. But then, so if you win one the first day to depends on your bracket.

Um well, I lost, I lost the first day, but then I was on the day too, because I is something with a braket. I I was there. Did I win? No, I didn't. I second.

so I flew. I had to leave. And if you're ever got a chance to go state championships in california, go watch IT.

Because it's they say it's the biggest restating turn in the world because there's only one. There's in different states they have like different size schools. So I got, this is a triple a school, double school. And so there can be a bunch of different championed at one thirty four in california, there's one. So this is the biggest resting turn, the because thirty six million people are, and they go from all these kids all over the state californica down to one true champion.

And that was the first year boys and girls competed at the same tournament. So was a legit IT was a Baker s but he was at this like bagri. IT was really cool. yeah. But then I won one.

The next day I wasn't there yeah I but .

you were the first .

I think you are the first person to make IT the state from point lama high school and wrestling in like thirty five years or something crazy like that. Yeah yeah. 是啊， 是 说是 快。

到 the .

goals accomplished。 You get done with that. Where did you graduate high school?

Twenty nine?

Twenty nine. So twenty nineteen. Now you go to college and you go to cow poli. After I saw.

I was like, i'm done with this. Rest like i'm done with grappling, just in general thought .

IT was over .

yeah I I just was like this too much the way the way in part was like really eating out my mind and I just said, okay, i'm done with .

us also then you won't worry about wait anymore oh.

no.

I was so .

what so what was .

your opportunity got? Call IT what we do, what you want to.

what was happening so when I went to college was like, it's just me just just mean of like not my family was there and um IT was rough. My first year was rough, but we got coved IT.

What was rough?

Your first year? So basically, I just would I I had a couple of friends and there they're really awesome friends, but I I didn't room with them. I like isolated myself a lot in my first year year, and I was very, very motivated ous about everything that I ate and the way that I looked.

So basically it's IT sort of started this like started my life when I was like in seventy eighth grade is when I downloaded a calorie counting up with my one of my best friends at the time. And like when we win, I was in high school, I was like, I was sort of nice because I could just put IT off on wrestling that I was cutting way or whatever. And I guess you could say i'm dense.

So people, people would tell me, like when I was not eating or eating very little, they would say that I looked god and things like that and and i'm not putting in on anyone that was same thing as when you you would tell me things I was like, I took them a certain way. So I took IT as, like, you like me Better this way and like, I just keep going. So basically, college was like an environment where was just me, and like, I could just, I had full rain.

Like IT if there was no one looking over me was just like, i'm going to do everything that I want to do. I'm going to break everything that I eat. I'm going to like, like, not go places. I'm going to isolate myself.

You you had full in. What you mean is you you actually mean .

you have full control and .

everything that you wanted do well know because you said you had free rain, which indicates that you can just went wild. But it's actually opposite. You had you are now in full control. You could only buy the foods that .

you think you rain of doing some doing what I wanted to do, which was the sickness I was like, this is all so I don't have to hide anything from anyone. I'm just going to way all my food take pictures of what I look like every single day and like, that's that exercise a little bit too much and that that you know.

how much is too much?

I know I was thinking about this when when I was starving over here because like, obviously exercising everyday is like awesome and I do IT to this day, but I was just like IT wasn't even like I was exercising too much. IT was like, for all the wrong reasons. IT was more like a little different perspective of because I was doing fine in Normal things as I was lifting stuff that I do. Now that that if if someone was doing this is today, we would be like old there's go and crazy but IT was just like, yeah that is how was so you say that you .

really the lifting for working out for the wrong reasons? You weren't we're a grown out to be healthy. No, you weren't working now because you are training for some kind of competition. You are just working out basically to burn calories.

Yeah so basically they like up that I um IT gives you a certain ont calories and i'm short and all the only three things that asks for your age, you're height and your weight so like IT doesn't ask anything else and so IT gives you IT gives you like a amount of color's which I think mine .

was like goal too .

yeah IT asks you where your goal and you can say like you like how very much you want to whatever so then my goal was like a thousand colors a day, right? Because that's what I, that's what I told me to do. I told me to, this was, okay, this is a backtrack.

This was in eighth grade when I put this information. And and i'm a child, first of all, and i'm dse so I I wait more, but I I don't think I looked too like, I don't think I looked unhealthy when I was a child. And that was so that was an eighth grade that was like a thousand calories, everything that you did exercise. Why as you put IT, you logged IT in and IT gave you more you could .

eat essentially so so basically like a this is like, and by the way, people talk about like, oh, should your kids have phones and are thinking about Snapchat and twitter and all this stuff. Here I am like, I had no idea. I didn't know that you have this up until you told me the other day. Yeah like I and .

that was .

in seven. If I would have seen IT, even if I would have seen that, I probably have just been like, oh, you know, she's hey.

but that was in seven, three. And now what? Twenty three now. So I was still .

using .

that in college. So in college I went to college when I was eighteen. So I started using IT when I was fourteen years old.

So, and but I wasn't too rigid when I when I like going through high school, like there were times where i'd be super on IT and then you know you have family dinners and things like that and whatever. But in college, that's a thing. Everything is controllable.

Like everything you can say, no, no one, no one is living with you to be like you good, you should go to the dinner, whatever. And so I was so shocked because I was like hiding in the like, I was hiding in a long time, but I didn't really feel like I was something to hide. I was just like, this is just what i'm doing and i'm losing weight. That's good and .

that's like.

how be yeah yeah so I didn't IT wasn't like he was hiding this huge secret that I that took my like from my parents and stuff but I just simply like, didn't I just captured to myself this is what I should be doing and .

then yeah and then cover and become your freshman .

people so that was my freshman year of college and.

Now it's like beyond full control because now you're just can't even going anywhere. And it's like I got total control over everything in the world. Yeah did you have to go to classes .

or do classes coming home from me was really hard to do because of that, because of the everything that I bought, like everything that I wanted to consume. I boy, everything was under my control. So going home for me was really like hard to do because everyone's eating dinner. No, no one's waiting anything. No one's like my mom isn't measured out the table lessons in her bottle that she's putting in the posta. So like, that was I did not like to come home that often I was like, I was like, oh, this is going to be so hard like driving home and then when I come back to be, like, time to get back on track, like, you know, that cycle of IT. So so .

your home in court. And actually we were living in like a smaller house at the time. yeah. So you and both your sisters were in one room.

yeah.

And then we eventually kicked your sister out into the living room. But this is kind of good because you ve got to hang out with your sister kind of close for a while.

Older sister, my older sister didn't really talk in high school. We like run in different groups and like just like different things. And we ve never really talk to I I don't even really remember talking to her leg at all, honestly. And then and then during coffee, we stopped on a bunk bed together and like we got super close immediately, just be like came back as like two different like people from who we were in high school and I was like, so much fun we would like coveted made us so so close which is fun this reminds .

me of um so I had this rule echo Charles, not a good thing for parenting. I had a role in my own head for when my kids were little, and that is like, I will never tell them to, like, be quiet of, they want to play guitar, play guitar. They want to play piano, play piano.

They want to sing, sing. They want to dance, dance like I was never going to be. I was never onna stifle any creativity and I kept that rule and I never stifle creativity and certainly would never disrespect my kids by telling them to shut up, right? Like I never told my kids to shut up.

In fact, I in the past twenty years, i've only told someone to shut up, I think, four times, and I was the same person, and that person, IT was really, and IT was all during coit. And each time I did IT SHE smiled and noted, said, okay, so where in this little house during code, and my two daughters, who both have really good singing voices, they were both like the lead in the school, play the musical and all this stuff, they both have really good voices. They would freak sing as loud as they could.

The dome's things over over again for hours, for hours. And ran na has an especially powerful voice in who dellis good, yes, like he can sing a delsarte and like good IT louder than adele. Adele has to use a microphone. So there was a few times during covered where these two girls would be like, scream, don't have a name for .

scream singing.

or they would be belting as loud as they could. And i'd be in my room and just come out, be like, branda shot up so he .

can have .

to come into her.

no. And each time.

each time he, my mom.

like and and this is something else I talk about. So there's different leader skills that a person can have in some of the genetic and like, like if you're going to be if you play basketball, genetically good to be taller, obviously. Well, if you're a leader, it's good to have a loud voice.

And having a loud voice is genetic. And the reason I know is genetic is because I have a loud voice and all my kids have a loud voice. And so like, there's a lot of noise that can come from my kids. So IT was cool that you ve got to hang out with your sister. IT was a little card of my ears, but um that was good.

Live by the sort, that by the sort.

So the freshman year, the covered thing, the cold on court quarantine because that the willing cows wasn't so much of that .

varying levels of accept.

yes, levels. We are kind of just getting after IT. But then but then for yourself off more yours. So this must be why you went back to slow at the begin the year, for yourself more year because you were like, oh, I don't want to be at home with all this recken butter and waited butter in the pasta.

I think IT was I think, yeah, that definitely played a part in IT. Also, just like being in a room with three of your sisters, like ages was crowded. So I just want back up, not really like looking back.

I'm sure that played an impact, but in everything made sense in my mind that what happens you you make IT makes sense. You're like doing IT for a reason and you're going especially when you don't tell your parents or don't tell anyone that close you. Everything is so like perfect in your mind like this.

This is IT. I'm on track boom. If you have a little thought, like, is is this like should I be doing? Like should I enjoy myself a little bit more? You just like, no, if I want to see progress and then IT all just makes sense in your mind.

No, I think is a really good red flag for life is what you just said about when you're not telling anyone. So when if you're doing things that you're not telling people to you here, this without alcoholic, right, like the alcoholic is drinking a bottle of wine at night alone and they don't tell anyone but they tell themselves I just wine actually there's there's very true and wine, it's kind of good for you.

And plus IT helps me sleep like that. They're just making the sense up. So if there's things in your life and i've had friends that that i've had bad issues and they don't say anything about IT and i'm like pro, that was going on.

You didn't like tell me what was happening. So I think that's a really good red flag for everybody. Remember, if there's things going on your life that you're not telling anyone and and yet you've convinced yourself that it's okay.

But you know deep inside, you know you couldn't convince anyone else to that and everyone is big, bro, what are you doing? So that's a very good red flag of of checking yourself because we can all say, know what? I just I just um like IT having a drink on the weekends.

What's the big deal? And it's just a few beers and my wife already asleep so who care? You sums just lying to yourself but and you can get away with that. But you know if you told some other people, they'd be like.

hold on and even if you even if you have the idea, you're like, well, why am I even telling someone is not that big of a deal either?

Exactly, three bears, and yes, six to be that dramatic .

person that because in your mind, you convinced this is not a big deal, you like, I don't need to go tell someone because then then because in your mind that all make sense. You think their reactions give me like, okay, well, why are you like telling me that you know like, okay, you're like making sure you'd healthy. That makes sense because in my mind, i'm like i'm just being healthy. I'm just being heavy. So that's that's good.

You good. Would you consider for just thinking back, would you because there are certain levels of this thing, right? It's not just like you, you know.

So let's say if you are breaking into three levels, one is like we will say Normal will say run in the medal just as far as you regard for, we'll call IT your relationship with food and weight and physically, whatever yeah and then you have the next level is what we might call obsession. And then the level three is a disorder. You know, I like people straight up just eating disorder. You know, seem would you say you're in the obsession scenario or not even that where let .

us continue the story?

Oh, okay.

So no, I think this is where we're getting into full obsession, brushing up against or entering into what's the what's the highest level you gave. Yeah, I get the described something around beyond disorder, which is like or there maybe something in between.

Yes, sure. I like I IT feels like it's a whole spectrum .

that when you got back up slow, were you, were you you go to classes? So now this is like twenty, twenty, the fall of twenty twenty. Could you go to classes?

No, we had remote real.

So now you're literally in your room.

oh yeah, in my room.

And now you have you have a complete control before, and now you have even more control.

And keep in mind, I was able to bring a car up so you have the dining hall of your freshman year. You can go to like the store that they have on campus, but a lot of times, and chat to Apollo, they put their calories on everything too that you eat. So like IT was pretty IT was fairly easy to do. But when I went to the grocery store lake, that was my soft for a year when I had a car and I was no classes by myself. Well.

for cycle yeah .

your .

full cycle. So you're your wearing your food .

yeah your vegetables, everything everything I .

put into my like mafia food E E.

If you now I can no mind. No, because I don't want to. Because because if you measure things, it's not that it's not accurate. If you have a table spoon, it's not accurate as opposed to a gram. And we would learn that like like I was a nutrition science major, which because I was like so obsessed with food in high school, I was looking at the options for college.

And I was like, well, I guess i'm really passionate about and that's what I would play off as passion and I just loved like, I loved like food and bobbi a so I picked a nutrition science as my my major, which made IT like so much worse and that which is so good. It's a great major like IT helps a lot of people, but IT IT is common. And I remember learning this in classic is common for people that struggle out everything to pick that major.

我 also because .

they want to go back and help like that。 Like I just saw a video of a guy who, like I did dermatology because I had really bad acting as a kid and so it's sort of that like that like you you haven't interest in IT even though even though I was in the depth of IT. I just was like, oh yeah, because i'm so passionate about IT, i'm just going to make this my job. I need to care about anything else.

So you said we could cut IT out. Basically, what you said we cut out is because I .

don't want I don't want to make people be like, okay, i'm not accurate with my playing, like with cup.

make people more paro.

I don't know just .

whatever. No, I know I anything .

you see on mine, it's like it's like people, people there's a accounts of of tips for for how people lost lost way. So like there's account for like here's here's how help you. It's like only this.

Like it'll be like meal inspiration and be like a plate of cucumber. Like i'm not even kidding. There's a side of the internet that's like it's like they .

call IT like I think they .

just call IT like anorexics like inspiration they call IT inspiration they .

way they call IT and rex.

they call IT like weight loss inspiration and reinspired like in spo like people posting there like how skinny y they are inspiration. And there's like, I know it's that's i'm like, I don't know you gotta be lightly with this cyp, but yes, is not accurate.

Well, actually I think it's I don't I don't want you to tread too lightly because there's someone that's listening this right now that would be like, oh, gosh, I think that way you think it's actually very healthy that you say this kind of stuff because someone's rationalizing right now and not being like, wait a second, a tp spoon and I was worried about, you know point four of a gram extra sugar yeah that's not very healthy to be obsessed .

around that yeah and also like going back like you if you're weighing out your baby carrots, let's like let's just like you're eating .

baby carrots that's .

like yeah yes like yeah I I would venture .

to say you can't eat too many baby carrots. But guess what, you can any know? I know that because I did so I I had like a couple bags baby carrots. I'll sit in around and there was probably nothing else to eat, so I just ching on these baby carrots and all this like four hours later, my stomach was in not and IT turns out you can't .

digest .

that many .

baby care. So be careful. The yeah well, you can eat too much of anything. You can drink much water. So okay, and I think that's where you went. That's the zone plus your you, so whatever but the calories and stuff you're allowed I think after a or whatever you know you're allowed twenty percent the way first ACC goes, you know how to give such fact you know like whatever and I think it's like twenty percent, which when you think about if you're obsessing over anything special caller's but macros as well is going like kind of a lot yeah i'm .

trying to be like .

even things that will say, well, three pieces of bread is this many calories. Two pieces of bread is this many calories. But when you put that on the scale, it's not the same weight of the serving size that that gives you. no. So like you, if you really want to be accurate, then you can do so that way because people be able they they said that thirty grams is the serving size and act three pieces of this, but it's actually thirty two if you put three pieces on the scale.

So this is when you know you have issues quite no.

I was like, well.

you didn't know to the general popular if you're like waving the two pieces of bread, which are supposed to have a way of thirty grams and they have A A way of thirty four grams and you carve off four grams.

right this is where you .

are out yeah hundred person. Um ah especially if the motivation .

is just looks .

like if you hey, i'm looking in the mirror and giving me these kinds of emotions and i'm going to go be an obsession then yeah I feel like that's kind of income.

He was like looks but also in my mind IT like scratched like when i'd have like certain like when I knew everything that was like I was eating. I was like, so satisfying, I don't know why, and I and I would save off the baby like, like, okay. IT made sense in my mind, because I could put the thirty thirty in there, and you put the amount of gram. So this this time I had a different APP when I got older and IT like was a calorie tracker and IT went back to your phone .

and you can like see .

how much yeah yeah.

And in those track. So that's even more. There are not they haven't been proven to be accurate but I was like, I just took IT at face value like this is, this is and that's way more accurate than just being like I did something for an hour like .

so what actually isn't this more accurate than just guessing?

Yeah no. My first APP would be like, if you can put in an hour of rustling and IT would do give a general. But this is like, IT has your heart rate. So I trusted IT more, which makes that right. Like it's more trust to work.

You started going to like an underground speak, easy cross fit jim at this .

point yeah so that he was during covet when when we didn't have classes and one of my friends started working out at just a warehouse that had like weight and south and and sometimes was work out classes as well. And I just started doing that instead because we because our rec center was close down.

Are you you were working out? I remember you telling me or you told me the other day that one of your friends was a scared of your workouts because you are going psycho.

Well, so that was freshman year when I live in the dorm and I would have to do like certain things, like I would be really tired and I was not like feeling myself well and I would just be like, I have to hit this this number like, sorry, like i'm not even even til I do .

whatever on the are .

super .

yeah and again, just like a warning to everyone here. This I didn't know about me this I was just like, oh, of course my ugh ter worked out he has been working out since was a literally five years old. Of course he is working out.

I didn't think twice about IT. Never thought twice about IT. Oh, she's healthy.

yeah. Do I mean, I don't know. We are like you.

I used to be like that with like, hey, kids don't need that. It's freaking garbage. Like, eat healthy, don't you know? Like I would do that, I would say that you guys for so for you to grow me like all that garbage, I want you that I want to eat us, I would be like, oh cool and then for you to be like, oh yeah, I only eat a amount because I want to be healthy. I would still this wouldn't I would. I would have had to have a lot of voluntary information from you that you would only have given me if you wanted to and I .

wasn't and .

you going .

to and like, I told you, it's not if we wasn't even like healthy foods though, it's like it's one thing. It's I mean, I I did healthy foods a lot of the time. But like, for example, this place, this grocery store next to us had this chicken off rado. And on the back is that a thousand and ten calories and that was cotten my my limits. That's that's how much I could have and so I would wait all day so that that like isn't like, oh, you know that that like like I love chicken afraid now, obviously but he wasn't like, he wasn't like, i'm eating healthfully it's like, i'm just like that that was like, no food IT was like this big and I would just save my whole day for that and just be like, okay, I got my calories and yeah but .

I wouldn't really think about that like I would see you eating chicken out you know I just like I didn't really know that you didn't eat anything else that day you know I mean yeah um but now that now that you are back up at school though, when did this happen with you you um tell me the story about how you took a cooking class so now you guys back and .

go class again my soft more years. So for nutrition science class we had to take a man and toy three hour cooking class in each. Each week you get a separate, like a menu.

three hours per week.

three hours per week, once once a week. Like I was like, I think mine was on wednesday. And on wednesday you got a menu. You had a little like, you had a team and you made this food. And we, like all had a outlook at the end of everyone's menu that you bring.

And the food was like cried chicken size, like mass potatoes with so much delicious butter Brownies, homemade, like home made, Peter, he made homeless. Like we would all make different things, and we'd all put IT on this long table. And it's a ten of we course.

I didn't not eat a buy of our food that we made IT for the whole ten weeks. And my teacher said, as a chef, as a food scientist, you have to taste your food and see what IT needs. I give a needs salt if IT needs pepper.

Now don't trick me like that. No, I was like, I, I did not try. And I said, can you try this food? I would ask my partners, can you try IT is as good enough as a salta? I wouldn't even touch IT yeah.

But in my mind, that's why I said, I know I have so much discipline, right? right? But then in my mind, as we were talking about, IT made so much sense to me like IT is not in my control and like that that's like, what are you going to track a bite? Like how you don't even know how much stuff is in that, but you don't know how much button is in the math.

Potatoes, you don't. You can, you can try IT. So Better off just leaving IT.

And I was that made so much sense in my head. I honestly was like, so proud of myself too. I was like material I like made at that time of weeks, not that.

And then IT wasn't till like a couple of weeks ago when I spoke at the woman's assembly, where I was trying to think of stories because I didn't want to say I was, I was restricting myself. I wanted to come. I wanted to a convey what what the nature of IT was. And I feel like that when I remember red, the story I was like, and I just blocked IT out because it's like, I I don't I wish I tried all the food, obviously, but you know, is what IT is.

So is that would you say that is like something? Or or how did you how did you feel like? There's what made you say, this is not correct.

I am not. This isn't healthy. This isn't good for me. What made you think that was there? Like, I saw the call back. I know that you also tell me you would like weren't going out with your friends because you are just like, well, I don't know where they're going, I don't know what they're be eating so i'd rather to stay home. It's Better and i'll be stronger.

more discipline if I just stay in my house yeah well, so basically going to college, I thought like I I would say like I struggled with food like I would say in the past tense, like talking about senior year of rustling, like I was say I struggled with food, but it's all good now and .

call exactly .

so when I was in high school, I felt a little bit more out of control in a sense that like I did, I did not measure anything in like I would be like, I guess I I guess I had like three carney out to talk as but you can't like way out like the meat, the tortillas. So I would be in class and to be like I struggle or like not in class, I would tell my friends, like all yeah struggled with this in high school. But you know it's it's fine now.

And I think in my mind, the first two years of college, I I did not really think that IT was that much of an issue until, like even in that class, I didn't think I was that much of an issue. I just thought I was like died. No, just frequent .

super squad away .

discipline, imagine. And I guess IT IT wasn't IT wasn't my behavior. IT was like my mind, that was my breaking point, my mind I could not shut IT off for like I had so much trouble falling asleep because I would just constantly think about every, like how I looked, everything that I ate, what I was going to wear, what I was going to be perceived, like the body wise to other people that I, I, I was going cri C, I was driving myself actually insane.

So IT wasn't name of the behavior that I was like, okay, maybe I should stop doing this. This is, I was like, I could not do this anymore. This is like making me go actually insane.

And I was like, I think I talked to my friend of out in my friend Bella and SHE. And I was like, I don't think I could do this anymore. Like, I, if I have to continue to live life like this, like, I can't.

Like, I remember being like, what if I have to weigh my wedding cake on my wedding? Like, I remember thinking that. Like, what if i'm worried about that on my wedding day?

Like, that was like, I was a dude. I like, this is not help you like, I yeah, this is, this is not. So wasn't IT wasn't like my behavior persave, because in my, because I was like, I was saying this was right.

Like I was convincing myself I was right my behavior, but my mind, I was like saying such negative things to myself. I was like to IT. I could not continue to like be like that so or else it's going to be a freaking nightmare, you know. So and then .

eventually you realized you wanted to get like someone to help you out through the situation.

yes. So basically after I realized I can't do anymore, I talk to my friend and I was like, I think i'm going na try to like fix IT by myself because I didn't want like same same thing like since seven third out and sudden thing really so I was a good i'm just gonna watch youtube videos about people who baby were struggling with the same things and just like try to help myself but then I I still had that back and forth of, like you're being dramatic. You don't need help because I was in my own mind, I was like, why you like why you like making IT more of a bigger deal than IT is so was like, okay, this is that sort of when I realize like I I want to reach out so that I can like, have someone that holds me, you like account table or .

like helps me, you know no, so you called me and mom, yeah and you're like, yeah, I need I need some help peers, what's going on?

Yeah, I just mean, really started ring. 嗯， but I don't think you really remember this conversation too much.

I remember too much. I remember and we talked about this day. I was like, a little bit confused 呀， because to me, you are the perfect child, you know, I mean, have you know what I mean?

To me, you are just awesome. You always like, super confident, like you did not. You are the do the most confident humans i'd ever known and so when you're like, I don't feel good about myself and i'm like, who who is this, you know?

I mean, but luckily also at that time, um you know we had Jordan Peterson on the podcast years before this and I learned something from him. What I learned from him was that there's problems that people have and there's people that not to fix those problems like I didn't understand that before in my life. I was Jordan Peterson like hanging out with him and talk IT literally on this on my part I O because he was explaining and IT was IT was um exposure therapy.

He's like, oh ah when someone scared of needles, here's what you do. You put a needle in the room, you tell that there's needle the room. You haven't walk to the door and touch the door. And then a week later, you open the door and they see that the needles on the desk. Then a week later, and and I like, oh, he knows how to do this, he knows how to fix that problem.

And by the way, if you are scared of this, or if you have trouble talking to people, or if there's all kinds of problems that you can have in your life and there's people that know how to fix those problems, and the way I ended up saying IT, I don't know if I said that to him that time. But eventually what I told people is like when you have a problem with your car, you don't just like start ah you know fiddly with IT. You go to expressing.

Nowadays you go to a mechanic. Because in the old days, you could figure out out nowadays of these new cars, you can figure anything out. There's computers, their stuff in there, you can figure out. So nowadays is you check your car, you bring to think he's got a diagnostics s machine, he plugs and he goes, oh, here's the problem and they can sort that problem now.

And then you can use your car.

then you can use your car again. yeah. And IT all turns out good. So when you were talking as like, okay, well, I was confused at first but I like, okay, well, obviously it's something that's like the fact that you were crying I was like, oh my gosh and mom, of course, is like the most uh, supportive, awesome person ever and so we would like cold do that you know, find someone that that you can talk you to help .

you out and that's what you did yeah my mom actually sent me like SHE sent me someone that that her friend recommended like SHE went out and looked for their place for me and he actually found my there nice yeah he was like, this cross doesn't have enough, doesn't isn't taking clients right now, but he has a friend who's really awesome. And I went to the front, been with her of her sense.

And so the primary thing that he does did to you is ask you questions. Is that right? Explain this to me to see, talk you about because I still don't know. I bet this conversation with a lot of people we have fed ted on the podcast couple times was like.

what do they do to you?

What do they say to you?

They don't do anything, can you? So basically, you tell them like they they don't know you. And this was over zoom because he was coated in. I I was living in slow and she's in the area. And they basically have like multiple days where they're just asking you questions. It's not they're not trying to figure anything out or at least my my um serapis wasn't, but they just ask your questions just to get to know you. And then you start like pulling threads, but they're not pulling threads.

It's you it's them asking the question, how did that make you feel about IT? And saying things out loud was like IT was all the stuff that I was telling myself in in my head and when I said out a lot, I was like, dude, that's not chill like that's that's like the biggest like help in my opinion like is you will convince your mind, like you always talk about this. You convince your mind that this is the right path and and I shouldn't work out today because I have all the stuff going on, right? So in my mind it's like I your mind was the opposite.

You should work out today IT doesn't matter how you can get them there. You need to burn these .

extra calories. You need this. Yeah, yes, but but you always talk about like excuses, making excuses very so well, I was doing that in the sense, making everything that I was doing.

OK in my mind that when I said that a lot of was like, bro, this is like, not not okay. And SHE would like ask me questions and we change, we would change subjects if I was crying to margin. SHE was like, if we can go IT like she's the nicest, but it's more just pulling out the strings.

why? why? Why did this happen? Why do you feel like this? Why do you talk to yourself like that? Try trut like, how do you think telling yourself that specific sentence? How do you think that like makes you feel? Or how do you think you can say that in a way that like is Better for yourself than than negatively? You know .

you made IT seems like you made some progress but you are also like exhausted of.

yeah because I was like coming to terms with so much stuff like we were talking about my child hod, we are talking about like all the stuff and I was like holy but I knew, like he said, it's gonna hard work. It's not going to be fixed like in a day. It's been since seventh grade till I was like twenty at the time.

Yeah so I was like, so physically and mentally exhausted I was like after therapy I ve remember just lying in bed for an hour just like bro, like what the hacks just happened, like I would just be like. And even even to the day, to this day, I will sit in my car and just be like thinking about IT just just IT just exhaust you because. They are asking you the questions you don't want to like answer you don't want to like, say, say IT out loud. You don't like, want to admit that you've ever like did that to yourself, you know?

I mean. How longer take before you stop wearing your calorie tracker? That like, did you do that? That was that quick? Or you like, holy crop, this is so jacked up on taking this thing off.

IT was like a couple of a couple of weeks after I like decided like this is I I just want to change.

what about the food scale?

The food scale? I I, I so so when I try to fix IT myself, I up to my calories, but I was still tracking everything. So I was like, okay, perfect.

I'll just give myself sixteen hundred calories like that's enough plus I work out that that give me like eighteen hundred whatever IT was fine in my had made sense to comment them of this of this. But yeah, I I pretty much immediately stopped. I I, yeah, I pretty much immediately stopped.

IT was really, really hard to, but my therapy was like, you need, why are you doing that? Like you would ask me questions about why i'm doing that. And I knew that I wanted to get Better. So I just stop wearing my watch, stopped tracking my food and stopped working out as a whole because I was like, so exhausted and I just working out at such a negative like connotation at that point.

And IT sucks because I love to working out so much like my whole life I was working out and i'd like, had I had made IT into such a thing of like, negative, like you're going to do this because you want to eat food later. You're going to do this because you ate last night, you went over so you need to do that. I was like, IT was like, I was like because I did not like how I looked or did not like I feel.

That's why i'm going to work out, not because I wanted to feel healthy, wanted to feel strong, which I felt that before. But IT just got to that point where I was like, this is not like, not one part of me wanted to go, especially not wearing the board, especially not tracking anymore. I was like, but i've just gna chill because i've been in this, in this head ping pong for so long. That was, like.

done. And then you are saying, after a few weeks of that, you were like, alright, going for a walk. yeah.

And that was kind of your reentry into the like, doing something physically that you like. H, this is kind of nice. yeah. And I notice you still go for walks.

I do I I do like going for walks. Yeah I like to I when i'm like cutting weight for a judge to, i'd like to go on walks. I think it's it's nice.

It's like I, I, I really liked just being outside, especially when I was covered. That was the only time I was outside my gym shut down or the reck shut down. And then I stopped going to that like warehouse thing because I was like, I don't want to work out anymore. So then I started going on walks and I was like, really nice. I really like to listen to podcast on the Walkers.

Did you listen to.

Jo podcast now I I listened to a variety of things. I listened. I definitely listen to jacko podcast. I listen to like. Hever men and I listen to like comedy podcast as well, and just like murdered podcasts, just a various things, and started, get my mind off of IT. Then you .

signed up for you would started going to head strong, the gm up as well. An awesome gym, by the way, it's freking awesome gym. Um you went there like now you like i'm not i'm working out because I like to because .

I like to work out. Yeah, I just wanted because it's .

kind there's a little bit of like if you're an alcohol, like can you like kind of a quit drinking and then you I know what though, just going to have a couple beers. Smit seems like, you know I mean, you could IT doesn't seem like IT would be a hard road, a slippery slope to slip back down. Yeah, we had a really good mindset change.

I think I think I was like, I felt so like free after I stopped to doing all that stuff. The issue was the nighttime because I would like a lot of times during the day I kept myself busy. I didn't want to like sitting.

Think about, think about food, think about what I looked like. And then at night I was like my hardest, like that was when I was maybe like, I would, I would say as close to that. Like I just have a few bars like, but I I just give myself two thousand.

Like, I would like that was my heart. Tst was following a sep at night because I would just go through everything and i'm i'm not following the the regime anymore. So like, I was really difficult, but I arted I started working on, I don't really remember. I think I just started working out a couple of times a week and before I was working out every day, yeah just just doing very like basic basic like like day squat and two other exercises that's IT just squat and like ideals and accessory accessory I can't believe you .

are there for you know what I what .

I was occasionally .

he gets a good hello out there, especially about something like that um so so you you start working out again. You're .

walking and you're feeling good.

That's good. You end up coming home after yourself more year for summer. And at the end of summer, we all went to the virgin jg two camp in main. Did you want to go? No, I don't think anyone will.

Well, that super of friend and I, that's what I was talking about earlier on. Friend, my sister and I were going to like nogi classes, like thursday day, just to beat each other up, like we just thought I was fun. And then my dad text in a friend, like your chat, like family origin, trip, camp, smiley, face .

free, hostile, hostile freaking family right here here and all the girls from the family.

Yeah.

the boy couldn't go. But but you've got there. And what happened?

Um magic, I was I didn't do all the session. Maybe I did. I think I did a lot of the sessions and like i'm here and then I was everyone was rolling and like, this person asked me to role and I was like, sure and I just like, I was like, well, this is so fun and I remembered stuff even though I hadn't. I did a little bit of like club rustling in college, but like nothing serious I was before covered and then um I just like I just move so fun, so much fun and I remembered stuff and I got the sense of like that I didn't get when I was a kid was .

like beating someone for what's.

And yeah, I was, I was, I was pretty awesome and also just surrounded by such a cool coaches. And like, IT was just sick and I was honestly kind of like bomb because I was like, dam, i'm like a White belt, you know and I was like, twenty, yeah so turn IT. But I came home. I when I went back to college wide.

done IT because because you didn't start earlier.

Like you do this. This is so far and i'm in I like all the girls from the family lined up and I was like, a White bet and we were all White belts. Like, I feel like David, he know. I mean, a little bit, a little bit, but I wasn't like, I wasn't like, super bombed at myself. I was just like, oh.

this is really fun. HEllen revoked yourself to White bell. How is a blue belt?

You get a, you don't lose a about I I somewhat .

agree with you, but i'm .

not going .

to want to have a rear, but I going to do what big?

We were rolling together at the camp. We were doing the technique together and I was super fun and I was like, kind of again after that.

And the thing is Helen is like really athletic and also really strong. So when he was training back in the day, SHE was like really good and and then he just got pregnant for like ten years and he was and had kids like you ve got three kids, like you're not train when you're got three kids under the age of six. Like you're you're under the the age of five, under the age of four. So SHE didn't train but he still like, I was like helping .

her with the move. And I was like, here a blue belcher and i'm IT beauty helping you.

All right? Look.

i'm make a big thing out of this, but your belt is not up to. You is not up to. It's up to the guy who gave you the belt so you can be like, k, just like you can say hi, good enough to wear a bu bet when you're still a White bill hAiling can be like, you know what, i've been kindly studying up, so I should I think I should be a purple bill can do that.

You can do IT the other way either. Can do IT anyway. You know why? Because not up to leave .

you guys with that.

You break them up to, I tell you that.

no. So then you get back to college and now you ve got a little bit like the desire to train that you get what and you go to para gon slow.

Yeah, I searched up. You just do James near me click on like the first one booked the class online and just like showed .

up at noon in the.

Ski but yeah and I I just training a couple a couple of times a week.

One time you called me after like a week and you're crying. Yeah explain.

Um so yeah, I faced on my dad in all this. I I my dad was not in my year. Like you should go try out of you to them.

You should look when a paragon's good. I was like, I looked IT up. I didn't even tell you I was going to my first class. I think I called you after something.

I think a brother paid for IT over here.

but that's .

just me that was a first after that after that invoice. Role and has a big propagate .

color um but yeah I was very fine. I just I just like I honestly always like loved fighting. I just think that things things cloud in my mind and rustling that's that's all like I think I really like did love rustling.

I just like had other other stuff in my mind that kind of kind of decrease my love IT. Like at state, I feel like I I like wasn't even present there because I was like worried about their self, you know, like I I feel like this was my second like chance because I did love fighting. So I think so I start doing just you on.

yeah, you rought that up early, brought that up early and it's going to rehash on this. You were saying that even though you would complain about you to even know a little when you would go against someone else in class .

like you would go hundred.

you like to fight and you like to win and that was evident and then we just had some kind of a mob mentality going on. Um but yes, so that I might have gotten clouded and restless in your senior year because you're like worried about weight and calories and all that stuff. So now you show up and now you realize you can just fight people.

And I saw wrestling like I just a thing to input into my like APP IT wasn't even like I was like OK bro, once our going to be over, like, so I can put down an hour of of working out, you know. But when I found Judith again, like I did, I didn't have the up. I didn't have a tracker. I would just go and I was, I wouldn't even look at the clock genuinely. The hour would go by so quickly IT was just like you just wanted to keep rolling like like to stay, you know, I mean, but it's like that shift of of doing doing something because like for the right reasons instead of the wrong in did you like help to me so much for that?

Back to the question I asked about when you call me, when you are crying after a week, just it's a .

good lesson from I was crying because no, I I think I examination my head that no one wanted to roll with me and she's been .

there for a week yeah.

i've been there for a week and I was like, I I just left ed was like, all the guys are picking each other. No one wants a role with me but no one knew me like I didn't like, introduced myself anyone that guy wasn't making. I was just like, they don't want to roll with me, even though I wasn't OK many that can we roll? I was just like in the corner, like not making eye contact like Brown.

No one wants her role with you because because especially i've heard from a lot of guys that they wait for the girl to like, make I contact you that that you can roll, right? And I was just like, you know, not looking, not looking at all and and I call my dad and no one was to be with me and everyone's friends and everyone and during the warm opposes like in their little groups and I was just like alone and but I didn't introduce myself anyone. I just walked in silent SAT down, you know, that's that but I call her mum like bowling.

I solve a picture from IT. I'm just like, no one wants up with me and he goes like he said, just stick with IT. Thousands of people coming go, especially judges, like people sign up to try IT out and then they leave these people.

These people, don't anna make friends with someone that's there for one day in the dep. Although everyone, that paragon one was really, really sweet and nice. It's just how IT is, I guess.

And then the longer I sick around, I called my dad like a couple of weeks later that I have like a front group and and i'm going to lunch with them after open that I was really cute because and also it's so pon because it's like all such people that you that I would never interact with, like i'm in college, I am like ring out with people that are twenty years old, same as me, and i'm going to lunch with like this brand dom, forty year old construction worker do and like this other guy was an engineer and then, you know, it's like, i've I wear people are like what's coming on over there. But you know, they were so awesome and like looked out for me. Like, and once once they knew that I was going to stick around, they brought me and like so quickly and we're helping me roll with me like, show me technique. Like, IT was amazing .

no yeah .

you you .

will tell me that like now this was something that you were doing where you were doing IT this like basically a non vanity exercise you're doing IT just because IT is freaking fun yeah.

hundred percent. And also we'd helped me a lot with those like with just shutting off your mind, which is not IT is not always good necessarily always to shut off your mind because you have to like confront the things that you are thinking, like that's your brain but for an hour, especially when the thoughts are like not helping in anyway, you're just you're is just going back and forth like this is not helping me.

I need to go do something that takes my mind off of IT and like lifting is just kind of monotone like I like lifting you just you're still thinking about things that like when you're living or when I was lifting at least and when I was doing digital. Like I seriously would go on be like bra. Like what was I even like?

I am like I didn't even think about one thing that is outside of the math. Like I was so, so interested in IT and like, wanted to learn and wanted to, like, get Better, wanted to fight. Like, I just thought I was so fun. And IT IT helped me so much with building back my relationship with exercise.

And you started competing soup pretty quick.

Yeah, my friend, my friend. Like, I started training. Like I trained a couple days a week and then I was training every day. And then I my friend was actually, we do this competition and we yeah I .

he was like.

let's do this competition. I'm like, right, let's sew IT IT was like judicial world league and we had to drive with three hours to get there is something and IT was fun. IT was good. I I got like .

third or second .

in gi and first nog IT was even though you're training .

mostly gey at that time.

I was training a lot of gee ah there was one day there was no gee there um more of like a traditional school. And honestly, I was really I I looked back and i'm grateful that I trained key because I think if I started anywhere else and they had no good options, I wouldn't have got I seriously whenever. And he is so frustrating, especially like as a wrestler.

And I did like when when I got the when I got the feeling to train judi, we would always be no gi like with me and my sister. And so four days of the week and open map was all g. So that .

just shows .

that I I was like, Brown, I don't like you, but i'm not like, i'm .

gonna do you want training?

Well, yeah yeah because you .

because you have the resting background and you have a some of your judi was nogi based from, yeah when when was that viral video was at that year?

That was competition yeah, my first tournament back, my god. So so you saw the video.

right? Viral .

video.

So basically he was I was like some my finals for nogi and IT was both of our first competitions. I'm pretty sure I talk to her and and I like locked in a choke and I I. Did not know I I was like how she's chilling because.

It's competition. People don't tap. And I thought IT wasn't like, secure enough. And I was just like, and he was belly down.

SHE was belley down. You had a hooks in.

I was pretty and .

but he was flattened you and you had your hooks yeah so which I was weird about that there is not important because her legs won't like laying on the ground limp because of your legs being in there. Her legs looked like he was like active, but you put her to sleep and the ref didn't .

know the of the ref was standing up and I didn't I like, didn't really know what to do. I I definitely have like all, but I was so traumatized by IT after all.

also just quick. The coaches are only coaches, but people were also all SHE was unconscious because once you watch the video, you're like, oh.

she's a sleep right?

I was looking up at the but coaches were like on of coaches but people on her side, on her her supporters, we're like, you know grab the hand, grab the hand there so you hearing people coaching her. That's another indicated views like, okay, we'll just hang on and finally her coach realized .

what was happening and ran .

in and stop but yeah .

so they like fly tower and he was like purple yeah the coach .

came in finally broke IT up and then um you know I kind of went viral because you have a person that it's choked out and it's clear that the ref was and you you both were White belts yeah you know the ref eventually figured out but or sorry, the coach came in and stop IT so there was the reason .

went viral was because the .

left the not not everyone yeah and and the coach wasn't mad at you and all no he was mad at at the rough. So yeah, you called me. You were all bombed out and like, all sad and like, as you just said, to quote, quote, traumatized.

Well, I in the moment, in the moment, I like I was, I was really like, scary. I'd never, I never put anyone out before, you know and I was like school reading that joke too like I was like, no.

and when you put a joke, we put anything .

on and .

that's a crazy thing. I tell people this when you're learning, like you teach someone that's just learning judge to the rear naked choke is like, now you can kill someone here and they are all freaked out. But you know, it's even increasing that.

Take a stake knife, you can kill someone just as easy with the stake. Now just walk up and stick IT in their freak neck. They're gonna die. But people get all freak out when there's really like every time you start up your car, you can kill somebody. Life is not, you know, that that robust and study that you can survive a bunch of things.

So, well, I remember you called me, and I was I had a, you know, be understanding but at the same time I said, hey, there's ten people that get choked out at every judge. You ten people go to sleep, ten people going to sleep. I said, no one's going to care about this.

I got the raph. I got to be some people watch IT, some people make comments, but whatever, don't worry about IT. And so I think that might have helped a little bit, but really helped you as you went to class on monday. Could recall I called you after you left class on month.

I didn't even want to train like I was. Embarrass, settle now, andy, I went to class and they were like.

good job, a good job. One even good. Hey, good job. Here, you here that I choke someone out. H, no, we don't care about anything.

And the girl is good, by the way. I like message, turn her coach and like apologizing. They argue, don't we are yeah that .

show yeah he was really nice.

Um and you and then you .

just kept competing. You've been competing, competing and you're kind of rapping up college. But what I like is, right towards the end of college, you learned one thing, very important, very important. And that was your dad, me, despite maybe not approaching in the best way, I was actually right. And the way that I was right was as part, you are a nutrition science major, but you also admit .

in what exercise sports studies.

exercise sports studies, and for one of those classes, you had to .

do .

A D C D scan. And that is, IT basically checks your your body, your bone density, your muscle density. And IT looks at you like internally and sees what you're constructed of. And you got IT done.

You've got IT done and you send me the image, the image because your actual density was off IT was the IT was the the highest possible point on the chart, like there is no one else there. IT was ninety nine point, ninety nine point, ninety, ninety percent. Tile of humans is what you are made of.

So that I was like, as you sent me that house, like I told you I was right. I was right. Like you are not Normal and like it's actually called a domett, that's what it's called densitometric. IT measures how dense you are.

And that's why when you were a little kid, I would pick you up and be like, is this girl made of metal because she's heavy? And of course, I recognize now that that is not the best wording to use specially for a girl. And this is, you are real little, but let's phone you because, you know, you've heard joe rogan and tell the story about U.

L. romero. So U, L. Romero got his, he got punch and head. I think he broke his orbital bone and they sent him to the hospital and they did x rays.

And some doctor calls, calls don White or joe rogan or something is like, you, where did you find this guy? And they're like, what he mean? They're like, where does he from? what? This is not Normal.

This what what's not Normal? They x rate him. And the tenders in his eyes were like three times the size of a Normal human.

And that's why that guy is just armenia, right? Me, he just peace built, literally built different. He's built different.

And that's that's what you are. You you're actually scientifically built different. It's a weird genetic thing and it's like some things something genetic.

You can take a little bit of genetic and you can also add some conditioning like like cold water, right? Like we were to were talking earlier about like dunk your heads and I would have contest to see you could dunk your heads, but there are some people that are naturally going to be able to handle the cold Better than other people. You ve got to see this silly.

If you have a guy that's like, maybe he's from florida, maybe he's like ripped, like shred ded, he's gonna a hard time in the cold then you get some guy from nebraska and he's well marbled and he's just like, whatever did you get that called uh, but you can also, but then you can also get used to IT. You can, you can, you can increase your ability to handle cold water like that. And you guys are always doing that.

I remember when you were little kids, we are seventy one time. And the water and assembled in out the river echo. Charles, it's coming from, you know, ice and it's put its flowing down.

So it's it's not frown anymore, but it's forty three degrees, something like that. And so I had a contest with the kids who can stay in the longest and her and her brother, we're in there. And this, this is cold water. This is a hypothermia water.

This, and whoever could stay in the longer we get an ice cream, if my kids were, do for you anything for ice cream? So I put him in there and there, in there, probably forty two degree waters freaking cold, and they're just neck deep, neck deep. Just looking at me thirty minutes.

I am looking at them, waiting for one of them to D. O. R. Neither one of them was quitting.

And so, and I look, I like getting and look at their lips there. Both their lips are blue to all their lips are blue. And I just gave them both an ice cream.

Yes.

but see there's a level of the part of that genetic part of us just mental will yeah and part of his conditioning but like you, your bone dense, your density as a human, that's different. That's like that's like a genre thing and that's what you know, rogan, I was told, rogan, because you actually ran to, told me that he had something he like said, one time I want a girl who can help me move a couch so I sent him that thing. I I actually sent him the the graph and i'm like, I circled IT with red because you if you didn't circle IT with red, it's so far off the chart, you wouldn't see IT on the border.

the edge of .

the chart there IT is there's no one else there and so I circled that and I explained IT to him and I told and I said, hey, you know you know my daughter said, you you want a girl l who can help you move a couch and um I said, what I like do if you need a couch moved this gross got IT so solo activities. But you know, the thing is though, please IT is just interesting because you have this special, you know, genetic gift, and because of society and because of me, and just like you, you are you are embarrassment of this gift that you had, you know I mean, and that's just terrible so i'm glad that restless and dudu has brought IT to a point where you recognize the the glory of IT.

But it's not just genetics though, because we've been lifting since we were like so Young and lifting we learned in like college was like helps your bones get so so strong and I think like lifting from such a Young age and really like implementing that since we were what in elementary school, you would make us get up and do workouts in the morning before a school.

I think, I think all children can get Better fit from kettle lls in the morning. I really have like these meet conn. Set up, and they would be Carrying the cattle bells up the ali like a racing. And then cattle bell swings, pull ups, sprays was real big balls was an early form of the burpy yeah you know um but at all burpy themselves but I would always have my kids. Here's here's a very solid workout for your children or every minute on the minute five birdies .

I thought IT was five, oh no.

five burpy. And then max pulled pse, or five burpy max depth, or five burpy max some other. You can pick any other exercise, but you know, five burpy takes depending, you know, fifteen to thirty seconds, depending on how hard your child is working and and how much you need to discipline but then they have very exact it's really it's a crushing way to to work out.

especially when your two siblings are doing IT with you and you they did five pipes and so yeah you .

want to do a little bit more than that. So that's good. But that's that's IT. IT was kind of redeeming when I saw that chart brows.

I was very excited about that because IT seems to like that seems so obvious, seemed real right now. It's like more there you go. Yeah science, yes, factual, practical.

And then from there, when you graduate goals and IT was time to put that gifts to use. Now you're down, down here in Sandy ago. You work at Victoria a and fitness.

You teach Judith. You train Judith. You trained primarily at Victoria A A and legion region. A J, J, sorry about that. They're keen in and me, that one. 嗯， what what are you what your schedule like when you wake up in the morning .

to see all the, all the time, every day? Yeah, I started training at legion when Victory had the fire, and I, and there was nowhere to train. I trained, I trained in my friends garage, which who had mats, and were trained the morning.

But I was at six A M. And the rest of the day was like, I didn't have a job because the gym burn down. They were finding a temporary location, and I still wanted to compete. And I really had never tried out another gym in Sandy ago, because Victories is here. And I tried out a class, a legion, because you are my dad.

You yeah me.

who is also my dad, is friends with someone and mehan ki. He would train with them, cross train. And I started taking the slows classes and j flows classes and training with page, who is insanely got a good and.

Now that there's a temporary location, I started to cross training and it's been amazing. I have such good train partners and coaches at Victory and I region so it's good, can complain. And then I love teaching.

The kids is so amazing. Yeah in my schedule. Yeah, just train to two in the morning.

Come home. Me breakfast. Go train to two again.

Do j flows classes twice a week. Get up. Have a private with page N.

J. Flow, and just left as much as I can. And yeah, teach the kids. Yeah, teaching kids.

coaching kids, you always at turning its coaching kids. Um are you are you in the sona ice bath game? Not really are you .

more you definitely do .

him sometimes but you're just like a weekend warrior when IT comes to .

those things or um in the beginning I was like .

super into IT into .

a part into the soni bus. I just slacked in bow I don't know, but I like .

doesn't make you .

feel good IT IT does but like I don't know the day is long of coming. I don't it's like you feel .

like that gives you recovery though.

Yeah, what I was going to say was when I started wrestling again, which jf love is basically only wrestling. And I hadn't really, I really did. A lot of judge was on the ground.

I in my in paraguay, we really didn't wrestle that often and I didn't really, Russell that much like since high school. And when I started taking jay for those classes, IT was a gut check, straight rounds on the feet. 嗯， no polling guard a lots of times we're just doing like wrestling rounds.

Just get your two points come back up and I might like middle back just from like my stance and holding my head up and getting my head like pushed down, getting getting slam, getting like just thrown in the most elegant way brow my middle back was really like, really hurt. And the sa, that's when I started implementing the sona ah a lot doing doing a stretching routine in the sauna for like a couple of weeks and that that like helped so much. But yeah just just training .

to just who in lifting .

what are you eating in? yeah? There's no there's no like I don't follow a strict diet or anything. There's no like specific animal base like kid, I don't do any of that, just I do we read me though lots of IT and yeah just just trying to get protein in the morning like I I Normally will have like a mock or protein pancakes or something of that or just just because I have hainous I I probably just train tanee sly and then I have hainous training after yeah um .

I can confirm that you drink a lot of freak molk in our house.

I like like I like making like smoothies, but like the powder.

Um so a few months ago I had some people visit downtown and seven ago they were making a movie called way of the world, your kid. And obviously the movie way to your kid, there's going to be kids that are doing Judith u.

And the producer and the director, or one of the producers and the director were like, hey, you know anyone I could like, help us with training the kids up in jug to and this is make g and and then ever r and like, k you know, who do you have anyone that could help us train the kid? And Judith and I said, um I think I might have the ultimate person for that. So you came up and helped out training these two kids, eva oris and jude hill who play mark and na in the movie way that were your kid and you trained, you came up and train them injured or how did .

you like that was so so so fun. That was so the last minute um because you were like we got a check on the budget for the movie in south and all all right. I teach the study to like I do, will try to get IT covered for as many weeks as I can and so I I went up I think you told me like saturday and I went up on, like monday.

And IT was so awesome. And IT was interesting because Normally judge such a long journey. I mean, think about my judi journey been like over a decade.

you just got your proper belt.

and yeah, proper belt.

But and so I was gonna be sort of different to because with the kids courses, you only want to teach to one or two moves a day because, bro, everyone just wants a role and also they're not routine. Like even I can't like even I can't pay attention to more than a couple moves in in A G D. Two class.

So but for this one, IT wasn't like we had all this time to teach them. Judith and the gavan had to be like higher rank in the movie. So we had like three hours a day of just straight up technique.

And they were they were trippers ah for real it's can be so to make IT look technical and good. And I know that that was your vision for the way of the weekend. We didn't wanted to look like silly, like marsha, like whatever. So I I was I was a cool chAllenge for me because it's it's different from teaching the kids at Victory. IT was like, we have to do this and I I wanted them to understand, understand you to do with because we did have someone prompted scenes where they were like, okay, do do something I was like, oh, and we thankfully, we went over a bunch of self that we hadn't planned .

on putting in fight, coordinated for sure. Yeah, what about even before we started filming, you came up and when you were helping, because you were right up with me, you are like sitting in meetings. You are in casting meetings and with me and mic g and ben married, just like looking at people like wasn't .

that and .

and you also were there when we are going through the script line by line, and you could see how this all comes to fruition, as you said, like like the all the things that went into IT that had to be awesome to watch. Yeah.

I was honestly crazy the whole, because when I went, I didn't know the progress of the movie yet. So like having IT caught, like the flor was all four were your kid and I all four of a building.

SHE said I control like this entire floor of .

this building and and it's a bunch of people was and maybe a couple of do it's like. Go like, alright, let's see. Let's see what's going to happen but this guy comes up to dad and is like, has the exact replica of his like glasses.

I like, boy and he's like, did I get this part right? And he faded them yeah and he made them. I was like, bro. And then he pulls out his watches and do what is going on. This is crazy that that .

was his job and .

he killed IT. Yeah yeah. And he was so like technical what he was pointing out, like, brother, there they're like, they're focusing on that little thing that's like, that must be, must be legit.

So then I SAT in on one of the script readings, and IT was so good. The the director. Mg, I, I, I, I listen to the world, your kid as I are right.

But he he would stand up in every seen you stand up, say, alright, talk to stand up with me, just what we can act this out. And I was literally like, this is so guy IT was crazy. And in that, when was when it's sort of click to me like this.

This is not just gonna be like a movie about like I I got poland digital is like there's so many more elements to IT that that are in the movie and thought by the writers. And it's so like a laborat and it's amazing and the set was crazy too, like the amount of hands needed on that side was was wild and so much fun. But coaching the kids was really cool as the first time doing judicial and their parents were watching like what the hack is going on because we we I was like, okay, these are the four positions I didn't really, because it's what i'm surrounded by all the time.

And I trained with guys. I trained with girls. Like I don't I don't pay much attention as I like shot to to things .

like that to people. We don't think of IT as this the most the most contexts that there is period in the story. There is no sport that's more close contact and digital, this is the most close contact, and I knew that. So as we are introducing like both due in evas, mom are there and I like, hey, this thing about to do is real lot of less confident, very, very.

And I almost happy I didn't really think about IT because I I was literally exactly like us coaching Victory. This is so fun, making them so comfortable, which was like my top priority because I just did. I wanted them to work like well together because same thing having someone that you have there, your partner, that's that's such a key thing and they worked so well together.

What I was going to say was, oh, when I first started training digital, I would be like confused about woman's classes. I would be confused about, like separate classes because I was like, what do you mean? Like, I I didn't. Because I grew up around IT. I literally grew up like having freaking .

yeah breathing in my year.

Like I was like, alright. And then I wrested, and I was confused. I was like, why? And and now when I start with girls, they say, i'm, I like, when they grab my wrist, unlike brow, you gotta grab my rist.

This isn't like this. You need to put your weight on me. I'll be fine, but this is what I what I realized about judge to for women is like, that is one of the main concerns.

And i'd never even really put that. I grabby your risk o it's going to be like with, like, i'm not gonna let go, you know. But like teaching, I understand the girl's class now.

I understand IT to like a level where I did. I seriously was like, why would they do that? And now I understand talking to somebody grows up for a started judge to just having, like, just learning how to put your weight on.

Someone is so foreign to a lot of women that IT feels so like weird and like, I understand that that would be weird and like a class if you've never done this before. So that's one thing that i've tried to like try to help with, especially the girls in in classes, is like even if even if they're paired with the guys, just like making them comfortable being like, brother, they are gona be fine. They're tough. You can put your weight on them.

You know, I even I even talk about that from a soft defense perspective is if if you never had someone we can grab onto you.

it's going to be there's .

three seconds to five seconds to maybe even you don't snap out of IT of shock just like like you're just not used .

to IT even even when i'm rolling now and i've trained like diet to and rustling. If I can't get a dude off of me inside control, I like freak out and i'm like the unlike so season to that you would you wouldn't think you would but I start I like, do this is a crazy G I could simply can't get him off of me. And that scary.

I feel that way sometimes. yeah. Mig, yeah. What the crazy thing is. So, mg, he like, came down here like, and met me and was like, this is what I realized, my ji had.

My ji had the vision in his head like he could see, cause I can't see a movie in my head. I can see a judge to move in my head. I can see, uh, on assault on a target in my head.

I can see suffer away in my head. But I can't see a movie in my head because I ve never done that before. But make g.

he said he could see IT.

yeah. And so that's what I realized he was when he was down here talking to me. He was to, he was trying to explain to me what he could see. And I was like even then, to be like me trying to explain to someone that didn't surface. No, the course like that, the lip starts to come over your head.

And you like, serve.

you can see that. But if you don't serve you and I didn't realize IT until, like IT was probably well as a while we were filming, we were shooting a scene, and I remembered him describing this to me. I, oh, mig, saw this in his head.

When he read the script, he saw what this would and could look like. And I was like, all he has this for the whole movie yeah the whole thing not to not every single little detail because as you see, when were up there were flexing, we're making moves and we're making changes and all that school. But he had the the framework and some of the scenes, the specifics and his head of like, I know what the supposed to look like and that's and that's we got to do. Due and eva, when you met them where you like because I was like, oh my gosh, they like there so good for .

the roles yeah and they were so they were so like eager to learn something new and and just jumping right into IT because .

we didn't have much time and and I think they may have been the most willing and actively um positive students i've ever seen like they like to be that passionate about wanting to learn is I get IT but i've never seen a kid that realizes, oh, i'm gonna have to be doing this in a very short period I need to pay attention. I need to figure that week.

Show me that again, how does that work? They were both so into IT and and worked so hard to make that happen. And then how did you feel in the filming because .

you're .

in the movie IT was IT was like, crazy. We the first day think we filmed one scene like the whole time yeah, just for hours and hours and we were just like .

chilling .

there I was yeah .

and I was .

when he takes his socks off.

oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway.

he said he had.

but he was really cool because when we were training, so so you learn moves of, judge to and then but you can tell when, not when someone hasn't like a role before because it's very stagnant, trying to do the move but when we practiced, like I was like pass her guard and after this was like two day two or day three and they were like going forward .

looking like kids.

I were in my class and I think that was a key element to IT wasn't just like here's a move, here's a move. Here's a move because yeah.

yeah that's what that's .

what java says. Movement over moves.

J I um .

but yet so they I thought the moves， but they knew that they had have be off baLance to do the city. They were just trying to do IT like coach anna told me to do this move.

And I have to, I told me, right foot here, left ARM there poll this year, they were doing both sides.

They were pulling on the collar. They were like making their way go forward, which was so crazy because IT generally like they have seen where their ruling looks good.

looks great. Echo Charles, what was your assessment of? You are also in the movie, and you brought a lot of excEllent and legitimacy to the scene. I was noted by mic g himself.

Yes.

was IT what you expected because you you obviously have a much have your background in film. And so you've done this before. What surprised you about .

the whole thing? Few thin. What IT take to to get everything going.

Um I was impressed with how efficient IT was and how IT all worked together. But I think that varies from set to set. Um the recreation of the set was very impressive.

There was a time I enough you in the same boat, ran aware I was like, man, kind of cool this time a day you know where the sun is coming perfect right now with the mist. And like, brother is going to look good and feel I remember thinking that. And then, like, hours pass, like we'd Better hurry up because when the sun starts to, you know, like the switch, physician, whatever, we're going to lose this look.

But i'm like, whatever these are professionals, they know what they are doing. They are going to hurry IT. They're and they're like, hours passed, my brother son is in the same wings spot.

And then I realized that these were like, actually is not the sun. They had blocked the sun. Actually, these are like.

actually like, they had blocked the street. yes. And outside, at the angle that the sun would be appropriate for that time a day, that they wanted to look that way, that's the sun. Like, I N I was .

a hundred person and but that was good. I remember one very specific time where we're filming in in the judge to class and you know they're talking and all the stuff and mean my family, we know the worry can books with that thing like a and so we know the lines. I know the lines are whatever in to see real professional actors with the scene with know to see, like come to life.

I remembered like getting like chicken skin, like ten. And these guys are now in here, right? And then you .

look on the monitor .

because looking Better even so oma o production yeah like another level up you know for the production so that was another one um and yeah just how good like okay. So you might not know this about me, but i've been in an acting scenario before i've been in front of the camera before. Whatever, right?

And you know how like was this dear movie?

Well, many, many different time.

And the I know .

how is the cameras are ruling. So but when you see like actual when you see actual professional actors just doing like their thing, you're like on and there's like levels to the whole deal, you know so that was very impressive yeah there from from um and also too like the uh the humility of like the professionals on on set will say like those that was impressive as well yeah .

and they made unfortunately, we couldn't film in the actual Victory M M A because the fire. So we made legacy M M A, which is a gym up there. But they made IT into a Victory and for all all the branding in there.

And it's freaking amazing. And you know like it's impressive. Even you you wrote me notes about iran a ABS said, hey, coach, ran A, I hope you're doing great.

I'm so proud of your accomplishments and you jets. I right now I watch how amazing you are on instagram. You're such an amazing coaching.

Marsh laughers, I look up to you so much, and i'm thinking about training judges when I get back home, all thanks to you and my incredible war kid experience. I know you're doing such great things. I really miss you.

And I do hope we get the chance to train together again, because I truly learned a lot from you, and I had a blast. You're so inspiring and motivating with the heart of gold, which is what I hope to do for all the north out there through our movie way of the world. Your kid, see you soon, coach, I love you and i'm so honored to know you. And jude rote, this ran na excavation point excitation point exclamation point .

x that's and he starts .

off with this. You are seriously the coolest person I know. Now I might have to talk him about that because, I mean, I guess I I think you guys .

met before that too.

He said, you are serious. Ly, the cooler personal know. Your hardworking, dedicated judges is unmatched by anyone. Even just being around you is those few weeks we spent together training will never be forgotten. I started off knowing absolutely nothing about you get so you not only taught me the fundamentals and showed me how to look good on camera, but you also inspired me to continue my training off camera back home and florida plus you are .

literally the original or .

your kid love um you got some fans from the movie. You also got some fans from the assembly, the asia on front women's assembly. So what happened was at last year you went .

and told you this right yeah so assembly oh one they asked me and um kd to help put the jug sale. Um we didn't we honestly did not know how many women we're going to show up to the G G C part and it's the last part of the the event two so we're .

going like so quick the assemblies is a woman's leadership conference that's run by Jimmy cockran and the rest of the team at asia on front. But it's four women and IT if there's been two of them and yeah so it's it's been too successful and everyone have a great time but it's a it's similar to the muster except the monster er's uh, coed and Jimmy want to create something just for women. And actually IT was judge.

That made me realized why. Because I used to not understand why same as you. I used to like, why would you have a women? Men and women costs.

It's all the same. But there's barrier to overcome in walking on the map as a woman when there's a bunch of frequent sweating dudes there. Well, a similar thing with leadership like, oh, they want to hear about leadership perspective not from me, but from another woman and or other women.

So that's essentially jme explained that me, like Roger did that go forward. So it's been awesome. But at the monster we do judge to the second night, the last night and so Jimmy said, i'll do you too so kd, who works at islam front is, uh, Brown belly and you are going to teach. Judge, so but then you ended up like getting all crazy.

So this is the thing I didn't get crazy, but I was super, super excited to teach the dig to. But jb comes up to us inside. Hey, i'm just gonna you like how you got in to digit or whatever? What have you? Just a little intro.

And the assembly was like this was one was at last year. So last year I was like like on my little healing journey, you know, and only only really spoke about IT my healing journey with like my family ended my like close his friends. But then I got this feeling inside, like, I feel like if I am just like, oh, how do I get into just my dad and my dad want to mean to do but I didn't like IT.

Then I came back to IT like IT something felt like not fully true about like being so chill about IT because IT wasn't that like chill of an experience back to judge. And so other people were were like being very vulnerability of the assembly. And i've i'm not a wonderful vulnerable.

I'd never like said anything to anyone of random people, especially so I, the night before the age to so a night one of the assembly, unlike I am going to at least share a little bit like more than the bare bones of, like what happened about me, training digest. Then I started coming up with things to say, and I just like lost IT, like I just cried. And I went into the shower and like some bed, not like coming out of my nose.

I just sobs, not even like a tear, just like, sorry, I was like how my onna do this. How am I gonna say all this stuff and i'm not telling anyone i'm doing that. So it's just gonna kind of like, and I didn't want to cry that day the day I did IT, but I was, it's gna happen like I can't if if i'm talking about such a sensitive subject, I feel like in the first time I share IT like the first time those words are coming out of my mouth is going to be so hard to not like.

I feel like now I feel more comfortable talking about IT but in that moment I was like borrow but I just felt like I wanted to share a little bit more so that that night I am like shaking the than the day after um they're like, this is ran na. They were like they said, introduced yourself. I said my name is ryne and judicial.

I have a very long relationship and I just like got very I got more personal than like I ever had gotten with like a random people or like someone that's not very close to me and I felt like so amazing to share a and there were ninety percent of the girl that was our first time training judges. I didn't want to stand up there and sort of I think IT would have been fine if I just kind of was like, yeah, you know, was IT for me and then I was IT would have been fine. I just like, I wanted to be like, they're trying something new like, I this is my like, I want to go try something new and then everyone was solving in the cloud, by the way, got the tear jokers.

But then after I just remember, like bowling, I was like a company. I did that and if I was really good, I told my therapies and she's like, now you're like, and I got a bunch of dms like, you helped me so much, I was very cute. And then are like parents, moms and that have daughters.

And then I was like, wow, this even though I didn't want to do IT at all, and even I didn't even want to tell my own parents about what was going on. I just like, I if if I can help someone. Then I guess i'll share like something that I don't want to talk about. You know so and i'm here yeah and you .

almost made IT without no, well.

I know it's going .

to help a lot, a lot of people and that's especially even from both ends, not only from like a daughter and but also from the parents. Like from my perspective and like just how things that I did and things that I did into that I just was just unintentionally doing stuff that wasn't the best way to handle things, you know. And so I think it'll be helpful for both ends of the spectrum. And hopefully, i'll just make everyone .

trying .

get to hopefully I. You even got echo Charles, get teared up.

go on down. And then the year later, I jay me message me. You said, would you like to do an interview on the assembly like assembly number two? And I was like, gosh, I really went through the first time and then I was like, I had that same feeling of, like, I went through all this. And then I want to use IT to look like, like, i'm like who I am today because I went throw IT and I would like to share to help people because I don't want to go up on like a stage and like to say how I struggle. No one .

wants to do that.

But if if you can help someone, then like all, that's fine with me. I'll take one for the team.

Did Jimmy ask you, like, did SHE set you up for the same story basically?

Yeah IT IT was like how I was basically my relationship with the confidence and and judge so and and doing not even just judge to just doing something that your like doing something for yourself that will .

help you yeah that's anything like even when you like again from my perspective, do you were on fire like with confidence as a kid?

I like wasn't though.

No, I know that this is a warning. This is like A A or at least yeah a warning. Like from my perspective to you, I would see you in a crowd.

I would see you with your friends. You are like very dynamic personality and your fondest kid and all that stuff. You did awesome in school, like everything was look so awesome. And I never had any indication that you were not the most confident person imaginable. And yeah I did you know this I didn't know. And um again, this a warning to everybody you know like as much as you think you might know what's going on with your kids, there is going to be some things that you might have to sort of try into a little bit or ask Better questions that build Better relationship because nobody wants to you know nobody wants to like say what's going on or at least a lot of times people don't want to say what's what's bad.

especially if you don't think it's that bad in your head too. And I was like, easy for me because I, because because I was very like, loud and funny in high school. And I was like, that's such an easy, like cover up.

If you start getting quiet, then it's like, bro, what's wrong with you and was I was just like, I liked that way. I just didn't. I'd knew that if there was some other tinkering that I wasn't gonna have like full saying in what I did. So I was just like, i'm going to stay like loud. No one, no one like even question that really exact one time my teacher was like, grow you good I was like, yeah, i'm just cutting wait and I got my teacher .

was like, okay.

去 mister company .

and yeah king， yeah yeah he's also yeah, he's a great teacher. But yes, this is everything you're saying. And even actually, as I was saying, IT like everything that you would.

It's not like, oh, I found a freak crack pipe in my daughters dorm room. What's like? Oh, I found a food scale in my daughter's dorm room.

Of course he did. She's a food scientist. She's going to college and he's healthy to think about like, it's not like I found a empty bottle of vodka crammed behind her bed.

No, instead I found rice cakes. You know, I mean, i'm like a color. Oh, he has a, uh, what's a bad APP that you could have on your phone? Like, uh uh, a dating up or something like, oh, my daughter has this dating up phone match, dark cog SHE got a hinge like, there must be something wrong. No, it's like, oh, he has a health .

food alth.

Yes, everything in in that category from from the surface level and even like one level, maybe even two levels deep is all good to go. It's all good to go. And that's just a bizarre thing. Even like o your daughters, your daughter is really exercising a lot, of course is course .

is is my daughters fine, yes, but like .

these things .

can not can have not a negative thing as well. It's like if if you if this APP if someone wanted to lose weight in a healthy way, say they wanted to lose like half a pounds a week or quarter upon a week, and the apps gave them, like C, E. And you can scan barcoo that that makes you so much easier, rather than thinking, oh my god, that that losing way is such a hard task to do. Like these things can make IT easier and if if people need to do IT, these things can help for sure and that exercising helped. I mean that .

we all exercise exercise often.

So you're it's not like it's just the way that it's it's just the way that is used.

Um what do your goals now? What do you not going on?

What you you want to do? Did you two world champion? And like helping, like just teaching kids like a very long time. I I, I serious ly love teaching kids. It's like you can you can literally see them like transforming in front of your eyes.

You think that you're teaching them, you would think that because you're teaching them some sort of like violent a Marshall that that is going to make them like worse. I want to fight, but like that show the opposite. I know all the kids and all the parents will tell me, like my kid, like paying attention in class, more like ever since they started training judicio like they've actually been listening to us and like more discipline than like IT.

It's like such an awesome transformation to watch IT is especially like like kids that don't want to fight in the beginning, that don't want to do IT and then you just see them like get get so into IT. I have this grown name to image SHE sex. And the first day her dad, water and SHE SHE SAT on the side with her dad, I came up to them.

I said, do you want to find? Do you want to try the love a game? And SHE said, no, no, I don't.

I don't wanna. I say, okay, that's fine. SHE has a ug c page. Now, first of all, compete at every tournament that we do. It's so fearless, like on the mats is so awesome, does all the techniques retell her to listening to us helping out kids that are like new in the class is so awesome. And SHE didn't even want to fight IT in the beginning.

And now she's like winning, like always winning friday night fights, always helping out with such a good kid, such good manners her mom is like her parents are so grateful for IT. You know it's so awesome but that's not even the one story that's I mean, yeah that's just one story like I have I teach a one of kids that have like attention issues too and they they aren't like you can see in front of your eyes like they stop getting kicked out less and less. They're like paying attention there like i'll help up the new kid. It's so awesome.

No, it's a huge part of the warrior kid thing and I just beg everyone to change this to yourself, get your kids training and to just it's just going it's so helpful for every aspect. Your life just, it's just so good for you and you ve got to be careful because you can do what I did. I knew that very thing with my own kids, and I freak blue IT. Now I I the cool thing is now all my kids train, but I grew up for A I could have done a Better.

let's say that everyone has their own path.

Yes, as we said, when you got your blue ball, everybody, it's best if they have their own path, not just in vigital, in everything in life, but putting the chromes out on the trail so they can find them is the best way to do IT. Don't push them down the path. Don't shove them down the path, don't cut off every other option besides the thing that you want.

Put the comes out there. Let them see what IT feels like, let them, let them understand IT, explain the why to them and and you're going to get your kid to be in a much Better spot. And and look, there's a bunch of other, you know, all activities.

And one of my friend's Scott, you know, he is always said he, when are all of you guys were Younger? He was like, I just want my kid to be in this. I want my kids to be into something, whether it's surfing, whether it's playing guitar, whether it's a volleyball, basketball, football, just being into something is is awesome. And support them and and enable that as much as you can. And if that thing happens to be judge to whatever .

happens is you'll be really beneficial.

And even if it's not, if they train once a week, you know know if the train once a week you're getting in there, you'll be shocked, shocked at how much people, how much kids absorb once a week over a two year period, over three year period are going to once a week on some saturdays. And by the way, they're going to win in a little bulls ying fight.

If they get attacked by some other eight year old and they been trained in judge to once a week for four months, they're winning, which is crazy. But they're going after worry about IT. So um those things are awesome. You also you're in you're going on the speaker circuit too, right? Because aren't you speaking a gabble doctor Gabriel lions event?

SHE asked me. He asked me this weekend, probably it's an April, so it's pretty far away, but just about juju and exercise and things .

like that. So echo Charles, you ve got anything else. I notice you a couple times I was looking and over, you know.

you ve got kids yeah yeah.

You look like you were thinking about, you know, what is like having kids and hopefully learn some from some of the mistakes that I made. Yeah yeah.

I think, well, I think watching you guys grow up um IT mired, especially you you meet a lot of what my daughter es to because she's like stronger than her peers and stuff um but yeah I kind of IT kind of provides like a good kind of like a track, like a path, you know something that I think that um we all can can hold on to because it's easy to compare ourselves like to other people you know um but I think a lot times that's a mistake but yeah is cool to know you and see you grow up into to who you are today. thanks.

It's interesting because you've been do you know all my kids and they were a little tiny .

kids yeah like baby.

yeah I think mabe, I think maybe you know, when we opened Victory, I think that was that was like nineteen or sorry, two thousand and IT was two thousand and eight, but two thousand and seven we were we were training here for like four months. So the two thousand seven and then we officially open to the public in two thousand eight. So how old were you in two thousand eight? Like seven dude, so yeah, my son was five. Yeah.

your older sister, frail.

was nine. So that's like, yes, you've I mean a five year old as a little kid. Seven year old is a little kid.

Yeah like, kid. Kid IT must have weird for you because you didn't have kids yet. No, so he is like, looking at these faial creatures was .

flying away at tim self. You know that picture I think I did to all you guys. Yeah timbo ia, in fact.

I think that was actually no.

And it's all you guys in the jacuzzi, my brother. And yeah, you guys like little kids. Yes, is funny. But yeah, it's fine. And the next time I saw you was a picture that jaco sent of you like, after you won wrestling, turn to me.

You're all like buff m like, but I don't remember this daughter and you kind of connect the dots as a quiet yeah, it's crazy. Ah good job. Good job. Hano, thanks. Give you right.

Well, I guess do you want to thank probably Victory and region and origin and joke fuel?

sure. Yeah, I do.

I do. What else is that could have up to speed? Working people find you run out like .

I run a willing on instagram. I goes a lot of duty too. And yeah and speaking of milk.

The train course, yeah, of course.

yes.

Uh, more train. That's protein, which you need, you know, else you need. Don't welfare? You know what you need?

Super goal Greens, go. How many girls do you drink a day? Ra, one, one.

one. If if that before .

what class jf flow .

just .

yes .

or before he teaches your kids just fans. I won't drink two in one day, but I don't drink coffee or anything like that.

Um if you want this stuff that's going to help you throughout your journey, go to jock a fuel back on hi journey, hi journey, hi healing journey, healing journey if you need stuff to help propel you down the healing journey, we got the stuff that you need, uh jog a field com where the four four, two go, we can be Better the world and 3 after were twenty six。 So do you want to come back for that if you want any either stuff? Like I said, you go to joke of full of military S S S H B down in day us mayor up in the midwest wegen.

I just had someone to tell me that they buy out vegans like I want a week there. There was like, outstanding here is teter lifetime fitness sheeling and where we're getting in a more, more places. Um small games were in judicial James always place legion Victory on autos.

Yeah so just if you .

got to school, you got across gm, H, J, F sales a joke. Feel about com hit us up and we can get you the goods that you need. Also on your healing journey of didi. Guess what you're .

going to need? Echo, Charles wasn't a healing journey .

of judi. IT was just .

like healing journey of myself.

I'm going to say.

OK we want.

我 我我我 我我我 喂 喂喂喂 i give IT a .

lot of that。

I said, I heard you say something the other day. You were like, I do not that think is you said I do not know where i'd been my life right .

now without love.

you do to go OK sorry.

said to credit .

too much credit.

No, the healing IT started with a lot, but you just to help to meet tremendously for sure. But he doesn't have to .

be judicious if this helps .

help a lot. Something that turn to that you like to do that takes your mind off things that is crazy. And if we got a lot going on in life.

you know the thing about one thing about judit is like, let's say you there's other things that you can get into that you can get obsessed with that thing and you can and when you get obsess with that thing, that makes you obsessed with a lot of other things that are ten gentle to the thing. So instead of just being a obsessed with the thing you can be thinking about, like, well, I really need of a to help you do the main .

thing but i'm saying like you can .

only get a key and a rah guard.

There's no like you can get a cute .

one from origin so so speaking, just your geese org USA dom, check IT out. We got made america, judy tuke's. We got rh cards.

We got jeans, boots, course t shirts, joggers. We got everything that you need, work out gear, hunt gear. We ve got everything that you need.

And it's all made in america. So you don't have to worry about sending money to this nation's adversary who are have actual slave labor. In twenty and twenty four, we fought against slavery in the civil war.

Let's continue to fight against slavery by buying american right now. Go to watch in U. S. A dot com. That's what I got echo Charles true.

Oh, also learn and I forget I got ta thank you for keeping us and to especially up to date with all the the current terms, terminology and expression because what's .

your guys is favorite.

That actually that was a one the one you just said when you're like hello journey, hello journey, like what I mean kind like that's a new one said that .

like sometimes joint like can be a little bit like this is my journey. I know the Jerry.

you know, I I actually sent on the family group text, said, hey everyone, rann's come on the podcast. Please send runners a vocabulary words because he has her own freaking way of speaking, which he referring from decently amount today. But maybe the next time he comes on, we will go through the entire, because the thing that was funny was he would say these words, but then, like our friends would all say these words, and then the family would say these words.

And so it's like, and even does .

even say words .

eating.

And this one one .

brings .

IT from .

popular culture.

Yeah yeah. She's like the .

profit .

that brings IT in or whatever like. And my is eleven, so he gets some of IT and I can refine my understanding and knowledge, but I think this is where I get the .

bulk of IT for car.

And you can you.

with the best .

we need to .

decimate or decision between the words that you brought into a lot of .

things I don't make, just you guys have never heard IT before, but I love when you start saying and I and then my friends like what did you to say, period yeah. So much period.

So I remember one time we are a recording your singing way and you see you were asking a question. Then you said question mark. You said the world mark.

So I I was weird, new like thing then then I like thought about IT for a little bit a day maybe too. And then I realize is IT because you you talk to text. Ala no.

I never talk to text. I think it's just like you're saying a statement but you're all so kind of asking you're like I guess i'm going to say that on the podcast question mark, you know I mean, yes, because it's like I think you are saying, I guess i'm to that but .

also you're thing like like .

so if you know if if you're like, why does my hand go here?

Question mark OK so because you kind of know .

your hand goes there, but also you're like you're not like my hand goes here because you don't know and you're asking coat. You like your coach and you just like question mark because you don't want to be like I know IT before you like I .

don't know question mark? yes. So it's not done.

It's specific. Yeah yes.

I thought I and that IT was like all these kids now is they are on their phone test and still sometimes are talking to texting. And when you say question market puts a question market. But hey, i'm glad I know.

But also, by the way, thanks, by the way, look out for any terminal. Anyway, jack was the store and you know this, I do know you know this because see you representing from time to time, which I like, by the way, it's called jock store, so you're going to joke store that time. This is freedom rush guard t shirts, hats, that is mainly t shirts as well.

We I don't want to say specializing, but we kind of specializing t shirts. Seen t shirts also shirt lucky called the shirt lucky subscription t shirts. And a new design everyone .

ran has requested certain, yeah, yes, ones of those from you. Yeah, especially toxic .

product.

Did you make up? tox? No, no. Yeah, yeah. SHE. Like, yes, i'm C E O is produced.

C E O posted.

Wait as an expression, yeah.

you were talking about something you say on the sea of the company. Like, trust me, I know, you know.

like toxic relativity.

Have you heard of IT? Dad would be like on the sea, you know.

I mean, OK, everyone must .

get shown. I requested that.

Sure, but I can't really wear IT anywhere, just like if you not know.

might be too much for some.

There are some people that didn't that were against that. Sure.

yes. But because I heard the story about that was what .

about this?

That is a cold short. Yes.

it's not sure luck. So this .

is life t shirt. You ve got the death core flag flying boldly and aggressively. There you have four strikes on your black belt in that particular thing.

Actually, this is an empty space, so represents any belt that you may have. Symbolism, the layers behind IT, unless shocks little IT outside the box designs the b next. Good fun people seem to like IT. There is one guy represent at the .

muster with the.

there was a .

sneaker d and freedom .

on the back.

I signed a toxic productivity t shirt at the monster. perfect. So ronna eat steak SHE gets her stake from primary beef dot com and called rather craft beef dot com.

If you want to get the best stake, go to those websites and get some also described. The podcast also joke or underground. We're about the record on those right now, uh, youtube channels where there's origin USA, there's jock of fuel and there's jco podcast check .

those out and clips .

talk podcast clips.

Do you run that good one? We collectively .

run IT together pressure. Okay, bro, i've writing a bunch of books. So if you want to get those books checking out, if you want IT, if look where there's a movie coming out to got away the war your kid.

directed by mig g starting .

a guiding Chris prat also features ran willink echo Charles and like and .

fact where future did IT.

Uh, sorry, you may want to be on the look out for that put, i'll tell you what, get the books, the movies, not going to come out for A A bit. So you want to introduce judiciary to your kids in real powerful way. Get the books where the war your kid you want to get, you introduce your kids to working out in a real positive way.

Get the books you want to assure your kids to healthy eating. Get the books. They don't need to be in junk food now. Do they need a frequent scale? No, they don't need to wait their food.

There's not no mention um so check those out also as in front, we sell problems that we to grow of the leading consultant y we just had about the the women assembly. We just got done with the muster down and dance IT was sold out. We was freaking epic.

Um the next one is in sanaa. Sj, ago, february twenty third. Through the twenty fifth, these things sell out, have all sold out, and they all will sell out.

So if you want to go register asp, come to sand ago and check IT out that can be february twenty three, twenty after that is uh, sane antonio apple twenty nine through may for so there you go, F T X council bottle of whether once things going on, if you want our help with your leadership, good as on front dot com, we also have online training academy. Have you spoken on one of those yet? No, James is going to have you speak on the women's one, because is a women's one.

So check IT out we have an online training academy. Go to extreme owner ship dot com. These principles that we teach, we do IT on courses.

We also alive on there. And IT has helps so many people square away their business in their life. Check IT out extreme owners dot com. If you want to help service members active and retired, you want to help their family to help goals, our families check out markedly. Mmi got an amazing charity organza.

If you want to donate or you want to get involved to go to america's mighty or years, that org also, Michael, think, I guess, latest report, he was fishing with a stack and he stabbed a salmon, pulled out the river. He's eaten right now, river side watched in the sunset. He helps our veterans find themselves by taking them up and to the wilderness.

Heroes and horses dot org, also Jimmy mays organization beyond the brotherhood, helping seals, after they get out, transition into the civilian sector. If you want to connect us on the interweaves joo 点 com， also on social media, renna is at ran a willink you on the gram anywhere else? No twitter .

x.

那 嗯。 I'm at just a willink echoes at echo Charles, just be careful, cause an algorithm that will tokyo put you sleep, you even know IT echo s any final questions for rena?

no. Does that good to see? Sister.

do you roll with? Ran a? Have I ever roll with anna? know? Yeah, yeah. How does that make you feel?

Well, i'm very happy that she's in. Glad that you are who you are.

Have you panicked around with panic?

I can say that i've panic.

Have you? Have you? You say this to me sometimes. What's the cy? Have you felt a sense of emergency with .

a various times? So I actually leave till you where. And I said this at the camp when I was teaching. I use you as example. So move jo. No, jaco dean calls IT the the the punk sweep and know something like this where it's like it's a thing where you essentially put the push the back of the guys when they do yeah like .

behind the first step .

kind of and you can get hit up and get out a side control the very effective move big, a small guy, whatever. And I didn't even remember IT because IT happens like pretty rare. But the time that I always happens is wh.

anna. So is the one thing you got to watch out for. And I know this, that you ve got to watch out for this because I almost got got .

with IT a few times .

that were the times that I experience that sense of gencer that I sometimes talk about.

yes. Ra willing. Any closing thoughts from you?

No, thanks. Having me on was very fun, very fun.

Um well, thank you for coming on and thank you for showing your stories and your lessons and thank you for being such a great person and such a wonderful daughter. And you're not only inspiring to a bunch of men and women and kids around the world, you also inspiring .

me thinks.

Also thanks all our military person all around the world. We know that you make sacrifices to keep us safe during peacetime and during war. So thank you for protecting us in a way of life.

And also thanks to police, law enforcement, firefighter, paramedic, emt, dispatch, correction offers, border patrol, secret service as well as all other first responders. We know that you sacrifice greatly for us as well, and we thank you for IT. And to everyone else out there, trust, listen, respect, influence and care, this is how you build relationships with people. You give them those things. And this not only includes the people you work with, does he know not only includes your peers, and not only includes your subordinate, and not only include your boss, most important, and includes your family .

to give .

those things to them. And of course, go train you. Ditto with them too, until next time. This is ronna and echo and jaco. I.