Ep. #694: Cheech Marin & Tommy Chong, Fmr. Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA), Kara Swisher
01:02:12 Share

At Sierra, discover top workout gear at incredible prices, which might lead to another discovery. Your headphones haven't been connected this whole time. Awkward. Discover top brands at unexpectedly low prices. Sierra, let's get moving.

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night series, Real Time with Bill Maher. Thank you, people. How are you? Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Okay. Thank you so much for putting on a brace. I appreciate it. Thank you. Please. Please. I know. I know. You're excited because it's Cinco de Mayo weekend. Cinco. Yes. Cinco de Mayo. Or as the Trump administration calls it, May 5th.

Yeah, well, Trump, he does not celebrate it too much. He's not a drinker. He does not drink tequila, you know. But he wanted to spend the day with something that had a worm, so he asked in RFK. Oh, we just... We make jokes. Oh, yes, Bobby Kennedy. Oh, my God. Bobby, I try so hard for you, but, you know, I mean, Jesus Christ. Now he's saying that chemtrails are real. This has been a conspiracy theory for the longest... You know, the things that come out of the end of a plane. Yes, planes make smoke.

But Bobby says we have to end this crime against humanity. Okay, you know what? The engine on a plane is hot and the air up there is very cold. Oh, fuck it. I don't give a shit. Believe what you want to believe. We're all going to hell in a handcart anyway if that makes you happy.

I mean, Christ, we hit the 100-day mark of the Trump administration, as you know, this week, and, ooh, the numbers are kind of in the toilet. 39% of America approval rating. That's the lowest 100-day mark for a president in 80 years. It's like America remarried their ex and remembered why they got divorced in the first place. I'm just...

I'm just giving you the facts. The S&P 500 down 7% since Trump took office. The value of the dollar is off 10%. The economy has shrunk for the first time in three years. Consumer confidence is down for the first time in five years. Kind of a high price for getting back plastic straws, is what I would say.

And, you know, this is all because of the tariffs, which are going, have been in effect now for a while. And then it's, we see it already now. The ports, I don't know if you go to the ports, I don't, but I've seen, I see, well, you always see that, you know, it's always been the bustling port of, the bustling, no bustling.

Ports are not bustling. And, you know, the containers aren't coming in, the ports aren't unloading, and then what happens? They say soon the shelves at Walmart could be 90% bare, just like the people who shop there. No, I kid the Walmart shoppers. Uh...

But, you know, Trump, he only doubles down. I mean, this guy, I got to say, the balls on him. They asked him about what's going to happen Christmas because, you know, 80% of the toys come from China. And this is the time they're starting to plan for that. Trump said, well, maybe the children this year will get $2 instead of $30 and maybe they'll cost more.

Right, so there's less on the shelf and it costs more. What's your problem, people? Just imagine you live at the airport. I mean, what... I mean, who runs on a pledge of, let's make Christmas worse for children? I... He's also opening a new Trump-branded store called Toys R Sus. And, you know...

The thing is that people in this country now, we don't understand why we're doing this. Why are we fucking putting ourselves through this to bring manufacturing back from China to make the things here that they make in China? That's the American dream? Hey, you see that squirtle hanging off that girl's backpack? My kid made that. That's really...

The new American dream? A house, a car, and a job painting the eyes on Bratz dolls? I mean, for fuck's sake. But, hey, not all bad news. We're getting a military parade for Trump's birthday, so...

I know, tanks in the street, just what we need. Yeah, and he's big on renaming. We're going to rename Veterans Day Victory Day. We're going to rename V-E Day, that's Victory over Europe Day. That's going to be Victory over World War II Day and Columbus Day.

Columbus Day is going to be just Columbus Day for a while. We went to Columbus Day and also recognizing Indigenous Peoples Day. Trump says, no, we're going to get rid of that. He said that is just something activists made up to distort the true message of the holiday, which is that it's always OK for white people to come here uninvited. All right. We've got a great show. We have Kevin McCarthy and Karis Risher. But first up...

They are the iconic comedic duo who are featured in their new documentary, Cheech and Chong's Last Movie, now in theaters. Cheech and Chong are here! Oh, my God. Great to see you again. All right. Well, great to see you again. It's been a little while, but I think you deserve that rock star welcome because...

You are truly rock star comedians. And I was thinking, watching your movie, which is fantastic, by the way.

that there's just been, I could name maybe a handful of people who I thought were comics who also kind of got the rock star life and the treatment, playing stadiums. You guys had hit singles. Yeah. I mean, Eddie Murphy did it. Steve Martin did it. Dice Clay did it. Russell Brand did it, maybe a little too much. LAUGHTER

Money, Python, Howard Stern. That's about the list. But you guys kind of invented it. Now, in the movie, you have a moment where you say, we were a band. And you say, we weren't. And you insist you were. I think you were. You were just like a rock band, weren't you? No, I've been in bands. He's a singer. Yeah. There's a difference. Yeah.

Singers have bands. Yeah. But, um, well, I mean, you're such a rock star, I think, Tommy, you had two families. Which is something I learned in the movie. Do you want to... I got so black, I married a white woman. What I love about this movie, though, most of all, I mean, we're going to get to the origin story, but you don't hide the fight.

I mean, it's a movie where you... It's a lot of great clips from the greatest hits era, which went on for a long time. The movies, the singles, the music, the stage stuff. But then it's now. You see the two of you driving in the car. That's the director. He got it out of us, you know. We didn't sign up for it. When they said movies, we thought, oh, we'll do a Cheech and Chong...

our take on it. But we got there and there was no script. And then the way he wrote it, Dave Buchel? Buchel. Got to get his name right. It's that fighting.

Well, that's interesting. I think a lot of people would have cut that out. I know. They would have just went and let's look at the old days and see how great it was. And it was. But for anyone who's ever been curious about why bands break up and why they come to hit each other's fucking guts. This is the movie for you. Because you it's all the things I think that same thing that go on in bands. Yeah. Ego.

I mean, at one point you say something like Tommy moved to France and, you know, his ego just surpassed his talent or something like that. What did you say? No, that's not what I said. I said his ego way surpassed his talent. Right. You know, I mean... That's better. No, it's okay.

There's also the kind of the, at one point you say you're the senior member. Which I'm sure pisses you off. No, not at all. Because we're way older, but he is a senior member. Right, meaning he's older than you. And that senior member isn't working anymore. Yeah.

I tried. No, no, no. Come on, guy. What's up? I mean, you have an argument about it. You say, you know, do you really think that you directed the movies more than I did? And you think you did and you think he didn't. Oh, no, I don't think he did. I mean, we had when we were making records, which is my favorite period more than the movies.

It's because we were making it up as we were going along. And this one is because the way the movies are set up, they have a director, they have a star, and they have a writer, but they're segmented. All the parts are segmented. And that's where I didn't mind not being named as director, but we were working as we always were. But Tommy wanted to be the named director, so fine with me. Like I wanted to be.

No, the thing is, you have to be. If you're a director, you have to direct. That's the way it is. And if you don't direct, you don't work. It's a talent. It's like playing music, you know. That's why music is so popular, because it's so real. You talk about truth, that's where you'll find it in music. Just the fact that they have to tune up.

Get the tune, get everything perfect in tune. And so a director has a vision and knows what he wants to see, what he has to see. And one time when we were... I can see him thinking, oh, this asshole's doing it again. LAUGHTER No, he doesn't. APPLAUSE

But one time I called Terrence Malick. I'm a big fan of Terrence Malick. His movies are incredible. Because we were looking for a director. And we had a little conversation. I knew I was bugging him, you know. I had that feeling, you know, who is this? Remind me of some of his movies. Days of Heaven. Badlands. Badlands. That's the one I really love. These are not funny.

No, no, no. I'm talking about composition. Right. I'm talking about the whole movie experience. And you thought that would have been good for a Cheech and Chong movie? Absolutely. Okay. Absolutely. And so I talked to him, and it was a short conversation. He says... It was. It was, he said. It was.

He said, did you write it? And I said, yes. And he says, well, then you direct it. And I said, okay. Right. And it makes sense to me. Did he write it? Oh, we wrote it together. We wrote all our stuff together.

But I wrote the scenes. They would come to me for what Stacy Keach was going to do. Was he in the movie? The rest of it. Up in Smoke. And the next movie. And so they had to know what the scene was. Now, Stacy wrote his own dialogue. But I wrote the scenario which he was going to do the dialogue in.

And I had to write it on a yellow page with Up and Spoke, and I did it every day. And then the script girl would come and take it, get it typed, get it to the director, Lou Adler and that. So if there's any question, ask Lou Adler or Lou Lombardo. They were the ones that directed it. I don't want to referee it. I just think fans were... Howard Brown, who was in the movie...

Was he the manager? And actually, no. Another thing rock bands fight over, I want this guy as my manager, and you want this guy, other guy, and you fought over that too. You fought over everything rock bands fight over. Yeah, exactly. We were a rock band. You were, absolutely. I mean, we were musicians all our lives. We were in bands all our lives. And you had the same kind of popularity. And by the way, Bill, I wrote the song. That makes the whole world sing? Oh, yeah.

Basketball Jones? We were writing the movie, you know, that we were going to do with Lou Adler. Right. And I came to a meeting one day and I had a song. It was called Up in Smoke. Right. And I sang it for the people and Cheech said... Am I right? Yeah, so far. And Cheech said... And Cheech told Lou...

That's the title of the movie. Lou wanted to call it Cheech and Chong's Greatest Hits. In fact, that was the working title. But when Cheech heard Up in Smoke, and then Cheech wrote the Spanish version of Up in Smoke, and it's in the movie. So, yeah, I wrote the song. Okay. See, it's important. I'll tell you why it's important. Okay, Tommy.

Does someone have a joint? I've got to get this guy to chill out.

The Rolling Stones are very successful, right? The Rolling Stones, yes. Except for two guys. Who? Bill Wyman and Charlie. Charlie Watts? Yeah. The drummer and the bass player? Why aren't they successful? They never got into the tunes. They never wrote any of the tunes. They never wrote any of the tunes. They never got any residuals. So they got paid for performing.

But they never got any Mick or Keith money. Right. Well, you don't if you don't write the songs. Yeah, but you're in the band. You're together. You've been with them all your life. Don't you think something should have come out of it? I think that's his line. But, so, which one of you is the biggest donor? This biggest donor? I mean, today and back then. Oh.

Are you the biggest donor or me? I don't know. Really? I really don't know at this point. Well, I hate to say it's me, and then he'll contradict me. Yeah. Most of the time, when we first met, I was just a meditator. I didn't smoke at all. I had smoked before, but I wouldn't. A potter, the movie says. A potter? I made pottery. How fitting. Yeah. I saw a T-shirt the other day that said, chicken pot potter.

My three favorite things. That's kind of me. But I went through... But now I smoke every once in a while. Well, all of us who smoke, some of us who've done it on TV...

We owe you such a debt. Because, you know, when you... First of all, you did invent a whole genre of comedy. It didn't exist before you. That's right. The stoner stuff. And also, it was dangerous back then. I mean, he was thrown in jail for a long time. He went to jail in this century. Yeah. For selling bongs, right? That's right. How long were you in jail for? Nine months. Wow. Did you meet any nice guys? Hmm? Did you meet any nice guys? Nice guys in prison? I was going to say, you would be...

I don't know. Why? What was that mean? I don't even get it. Okay. Anyway. Don't knock it if you haven't tried it. All right. He wouldn't, he never even visited me. I did visit you. One time. One time. That's all it took. I get it. You're in jail. Yeah.

Well, I hope you're having a good time with this. And I hope you... I mean, at the end of the movie, you say, you know, can't we just get past the past? You can't completely ever. No, not really. No one ever forgets where they buried a hatchet. But you still can love each other. And fans, whether it's... Whatever the band is, we just want...

them not to be at odds with each other. There's something emotional that's important, that the Beatles didn't hate each other at the end, and Simon and Garfunkel don't really hate each other. I think I see you today. You guys still love each other, right? All right. Well, let's end it on that. Thank you so much. The movie's fantastic, by the way. We'll see you. Cheech and Chong, everybody. All right, let's meet our panel.

Hey. How you doing? Oh, Kevin McCarthy. Wow. All right. Here's a former Republican congressman who represented California's 20th here and served as 55th Speaker of the House. Kevin McCarthy is back with us. All right. And she co-hosts the Pivot podcast and wrote the New York Times bestseller Burn Book, a tech love story. Kara Swisher, great to see you, as always. Okay. Thank you.

So much good stuff to talk about that's going on. Yeah, so much. It was May Day yesterday, and everyone on Wall Street was yelling May Day. May Day. Also, the first hundred days, and, you know, this is traditionally what they call the president's honeymoon. You know, presidents do big things in the first hundred days. Obama did Obamacare. Biden had the infrastructure thing, because you really, you get a brief honeymoon. Yeah.

So this is the honeymoon. What is the rest of this marriage going to look like? Because I just want to read some of the stats. I've read some of them in the monologues. 7% is the S&P 500 is down. Economy has shrunk for the first time in three years. Value of the dollar is down 10%. Consumer confidence down. Trucking volume starting to tank. Jamie Dimon says the best case scenario

is a recession. UPS is cutting 20,000 jobs because they expect less packages to be delivered. Even McDonald's is down 3.6%. Goldman Sachs says we will experience the lowest economic growth and the highest inflation of any big boy country in 2025, even empty seats at Beyonce's concert. I guess what I'm asking is, Kevin, so everybody knows something except Trump,

Or is it the other way around? We're all wrong, and he's got it right? We're not all wrong, but this is the point. A couple things you didn't mention. This is a stock market up for the first time nine straight days. That's only happened eight times in the last 25 years. Up from where it was way down. But you haven't been every single day for nine straight days. That's only happened 31 times in 97 years. And why did that happen, I'm asking? Well...

I think we've gotten over that we know the tariffs are a negotiation. It's not going to stay this way. I think people are seeing the investment coming back. You look at the jobs numbers today. It surpassed the second time. And if you read into the job numbers...

Yeah, jobs were up.

If it goes eight days in a row, 80% of the time, the market's up 5% in the next six months. Well, it's up because of the tech companies. It's not up for any other reason. The Magnificent Seven, these tech companies reported this quarter, and they did really well. And it was largely meta-

and Microsoft. And so a lot of the gains are there. They're not worried that all the phones come from China? Well, that's Apple. What? Well, it's for India. No, that's not true. It's China. It's China. China says it makes the phone. That's Apple computer. But Meta is not affected. Meta has a global business. Microsoft has a global business. But can't China put an end to that? Can't they? I feel like he picked a fight with a bigger bully than him.

and that we don't have the leverage. This is the problem with this strategy, in my view, is that China has the rare earth metals. China sends us the phones. China has the antibiotics, for Christ's sake, and the pharmaceuticals. This has been a massive gift to China, what's happening here, because they can go around the world and make alliances and make other...

arrangements and look like the good guy, which they certainly aren't, by the way. We were the good guy for a long time with a lot of these allies. And I think this is perfect timing for them. And they can endure pain. I mean, when Americans don't get $30, they freak out. It's not an issue for China.

Right. But this is why I created a select committee on China. We are too dependent on China. Correct. I mean, 50% of our medical supply. You're right about the critical minerals. They control 90%. But they control 95% of the processing of critical minerals. So we have to change all that. And what you really need to do is work with the allies to focus just on China. For the same reasons, when we were competing against the Soviet Union, we opened up the three communiques with China. We should embrace India with the same thought.

They're the largest democracy. They have surpassed China in population. They didn't have the one-child policy long term. And then we should do a trade agreement with Japan. We should do one with the U.K.

But we probably got the order wrong. We should have done those first. But why kick the allies in the teeth doing it? Why do that while kicking Canada, Mexico, all these different things? I don't believe we should. I think we should embrace those together. I would love to know what the strategy is, because it feels like a chaos. There's an expression in tech called chaos monkey. Well, this particular chaos monkey is throwing feces all over the planet, essentially, and saying, enjoy. So I don't get why. Okay.

Just today, China has changed a little of it. China said, let's talk about fentanyl. And what China has quietly done is they have given some waivers to some tariffs about American products as well. I think this is part of the negotiation. Look, anytime President Trump says he's going to put a 10% tariff on, it happens.

When he says 25%, that means I want to negotiate. And everything is a negotiation here. But you have a short time period. Because when you order a product from China, it takes about 60 days before it gets to the shelf.

If we sit in an economy where the shelves are empty, the American public will not be happy about that. So you've got to get that negotiations done soon. But it's the idea that you're the madman theory, this idea that he's playing, I don't know, the 4-D chess thing. I mean, as Scott Galloway on our podcast said, it's like, he's not playing 4-D chess, he's eating the chess pieces. And he's... Which is a good joke. I have to attribute it to Scott. But...

There's no point in being chaotic because businesses can't plan. They don't know what to do next. And only the businesses and the reason the stock market is because of the technology sector being more tariff resistant. Most of the technology sector is. This is S&P 500 up nine days in a row that hasn't happened. So it's more than just the tech. But I also think from one standpoint, remember, what the president is trying to do is reciprocal. Like we have a trade agreement with South Korea.

We're supposed to be able to sell our potatoes there, but they still won't. But we have a lot of Kias made, shipped over here, but also made here. He is getting a number of trillions of dollars of people saying they're going to invest here because with the tariffs, it makes it a little more profitable that they should move back. It is going to take a disruption, but you can't carry this on for a year. It has to, in the next two months, get trade agreements done.

And you've got to get China to the table. I don't think they would be coming to the table. I'll give him this. He is able to say to American people things that I just cannot imagine any other president ever saying, which is basically suck it up. I remember when Jimmy Carter was run out of town for saying malaise. Yes. You people, remember that? Malaise was the greatest scandal ever. Trump is like, yeah, your kid doesn't need 30 toys. Kid needs two toys. I'm going to tell you how many toys your kid needs.

Fucking brats. He said the other day, China made a trillion dollars with Biden selling us stuff, much of it we don't need. Is this the Republican position that the president of the United States gets to tell us what we need? It's kind of ironic. A lot of their products, a lot of the Trump products are from China, of course. And it looks like that Oval Office was completely decorated by Putin. But it is, I find it remarkable...

From the party that believes in ultimate freedom, so they say, to tell us what we need and don't need. We didn't need all that shit we got from China. And, you know, he's not completely wrong. A lot of it is a bunch of plastic. I would agree. I have so much plastic. Okay, but it's still up to us. But if you go to middle America...

They believe this exactly 100%. You go Michigan. This is why he won the swing states. About that we have moved too many jobs away, that they have lost the ability of manufacturing, especially throughout. They've watched it happen to themselves. But what I see the president doing, and he's made a little more gold in the Oval Office. Gold is best. Yes.

Well, that's what you win when you win the Olympics. But even today, you mentioned earlier, said his poll numbers were lower. There's one other poll. They asked the voters again, if you had the election today, would you vote for Trump or Kamala? And he would win again today. So, I mean, I think people will stay with him longer. And if you want to have change, and for anybody that's upset about it, he actually said he would do this in the campaign. He's doing exactly what he said he would do.

Not at all, actually. It's much more drastic. Absolutely not. He was saying different things. He was talking about the economy bringing down the price of eggs, I think, and now the biggest meme on the Internet is Trump take egg, you know, for you, which I don't know if you've seen it, but it's very funny. But he's not...

The idea that we shouldn't... Americans want to have what they want, and the idea that we're going to bring manufacturing back here, especially this cheap manufacturing, you're absolutely right, but getting... I just interviewed Lisa Su, who's the head of AMD. They make GPUs, just like NVIDIA. It takes 10 years to get a factory here, if we can get it at all. This is not a short-term thing. And if you're saying he only has a year, there's a very limited time frame. But do you think, okay, in all these countries, that we allow their products to come to America...

If he's really just talking about reciprocal, is that not fair? Is that not right that American products should be able to... We sell tech products. We're in a surplus in tech products. We're in a surplus in services. Yeah, but they close so many of these markets, like I was making with South Korea. We can't sell our own potatoes to the McDonald's in South Korea, even though in the trade agreement it says you can. So he's making a point. As with every Trump idea, not every, but a lot of them, there is some...

in a lot of them. It's just the way they do it. Why do they have to do it in this manner where it's just way bigger than it needed to be? The same thing with Doge. The same thing with immigration. I mean, let me ask you about, you know, do I think it's good that we get rid of South American gangs? Yes. Yes. What about the Russian gangs? I never hear about them. I'm afraid of them, too. What about the people who took Liam Neeson's poor daughter and take it? Yeah. Yeah.

He got her back. He got her back. He got her back. Well, he had a special set of skills. He had a special set. That was a great movie. Yeah, great movie. Not as good as Cheating Chong, but a good movie. Well, but you know what I'm saying. Like, everything is...

seems to be done in a way that is so unnecessarily over the top. Yeah, it's like a chainsaw, for example. Chainsaw versus a surgical chain. And a lie. You know, I mean, I showed the clip a couple weeks ago because I was talking about the Defense Department when he said, you know, we're going to find billions of savings there. Well, it turns out the new, this used to be your job, coming up with the budget. They came up with what they call the skinny budget, just the thumbnail sketch of what it's going to be.

Across the board cuts for everything except border security. Another thing that needed to be corrected, absolutely, border security. Again, not the way he's doing it necessarily, but yes, he got that done. But the defense budget, up over a trillion now. That's the one thing that goes up. So they just lie. Every time they lie. Also, I heard last week, the Republicans are actually thinking about raising taxes on the rich. That never really happens, does it not?

That never really happens. That was an excellent rich person's laugh. Thank you. Nothing holds you back from writing a bigger check. No. Well, don't... No. That's not going to happen. And we haven't even gotten to the corruption part of it. You know, I mean, our finances look like they're going to be screwed. My...

savings thing went down. His are better than ever. Crypto. Crypto. And also, like I read today, he's opening, they're going to build, Trump family's going to build a resort in the United Arab Emirates. Yeah. Can you imagine Obama doing that? Obama's in the resorts business now. No comment from the Republicans. That would have been okay with you guys.

That's the business he did before he was even in. But he's president now. Of course you give it up when you... But he's not involved in his business. Eric runs the resort... Oh, shut up. He's done. Stop. Stop. Stop. It is unfair... It is unfair to criticize if the Trump...

that builds resorts, still builds resorts. Fine with resorts if you want to, although it's a very thin skin. It's not fine. The crypto stuff is ridiculous and it's corrupt. It's a way to pay the president under the table in ways we do not understand and will not understand. And so he shouldn't have to do that. Right, it's a way to pay the... It's a way... It makes it feel like, and I think we'll see in time, a coin-operated president. Like, you can give him money and not know it, essentially. Yeah.

Well, that's kind of what crypto is. Yes. All right. Well, among the sectors that are shitting in their pants is tourism, because the tourism season is almost upon us, and people are just not coming here anymore, partly because some of them just want to say, fuck you for being assholes to the rest of the world. Canadians, I don't think you're going to see them here in great numbers for a long time. The prime minister's coming Tuesday. The prime minister. That's not exactly a tourist, Kevin. He's coming. He's coming.

And also, people are just afraid. They don't know what the fuck we're going to do. So they are, well, are we going to be thrown in a jail? Are we going to be sent back? Whatever. They don't want to go on an all-expense-paid trip to El Salvador. No. So in order to try to salvage the tourist season, they've come up with some tourist posters. Would you like to see them? Yes.

These are to try to get people to still come to America. I don't know if they're going to work. For example, there's Seamount Rushmore before they add Trump to it. I don't know if that's going to work. America, it's been two days since our last forcible deportation. Visit the USA, now with shower pressure restored to pre-Biden level. Visit America and make the world's most expensive omelet. Wow.

Uh, visit historic Yellowstone lumber mill. Uh, America, we've got big balls. We do have... Oh, leave that up there. They gotta see the balls. Visit America now. Wait until... Why wait until we annex you? And, of course, America, come for the scenery. Stay because Elon Musk got you pregnant. All right. Oh, gentle good fun. That's what we do. Okay. Okay.

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You might say all kinds of stuff when things go wrong, but these are the words you really need to remember. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. They've got options to fit your unique insurance needs, meaning you can talk to your agent to choose the coverage you need, have coverage options to protect the things you value most, file a claim right on the State Farm mobile app, and even reach a real person when you need to talk to someone. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

The spirit of innovation is deeply ingrained in America, and Google is helping Americans innovate in ways both big and small. Central Texas Regional Mobility Authority is using Google AI to create smarter tolling systems and improve traffic flow for Texans. This is a new era of American innovation. Find out more at g.co slash American innovation.

Hey there, travelers. Kaylee Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music, great artist BT Dubs, but wouldn't you rather be there to hear it live? With Priceline, you can get out of your dreams and into your dream concert. They've got millions of travel deals to get you to that festival, gig, rave, sound bath, or sonic experience you've been dreaming of. Download the Priceline app today, and you can save up to 60% off hotels and up to 50% off flights. So don't just dream about that trip. Book it with Priceline. ♪ Go to your happy price, Priceline ♪

So now let's talk about the Democrats and what they're up to, because there was a lot of excitement this past week because the governor of Illinois, that is J.B. I don't know what J.B. stands for, but something. He's a billionaire. I'm sure he can afford his own letters. J.B. Pritzker of Illinois.

He's been rumored to be before presidential timber. So he made a big speech, and he said,

These Republicans cannot know a moment of peace. Now, he said he wasn't calling for a national strike, but that is the description of a national strike. And I don't know if people know what a national strike is. We've seen them in other countries. We've certainly seen solidarity in Poland at one point. This is when the whole country goes on strike.

I'm not against this idea or exploring it. I just want to ask if it's feasible in America. I mean, we've seen it certainly in European countries, France. You know, a strike with a union is when one sector goes on strike. A national strike is when everybody says, fuck this. We just cannot take this government and what it's doing. Is this something that is feasible here in America? Would Americans have the discipline to do it? And

No. No. I would agree. No. Pritzker, a billionaire, wants people to go off work. Is he going to pay for them? And who's going to sustain it? And you have to have a cause and a reason why.

His cause is he wants to show that he's a leader and wants to run for president. I think the Democrats haven't quite figured out that their ideas lost the election. They've got to go back and look at new ideas. It's a civil war in the Democratic Party. If you watched Carville versus Hogue the other night, here's an 80-year-old versus a 25-year-old. Although it ended in a hug. It did. And they talked about the old Lincoln, you know. They wanted to fire Grant, and he said no because this man fights.

actually, Hogue is going to be a leader in the future. Because all he's saying, let's get out the old dead wood and let's get in with new ideas and younger people. And that's what the party needs. They all have a different one. I just interviewed Wes Moore, who is also another person who's running. He has a very different point of view. Results is his idea. Results. He just results as a governor. He has real potential. Yes, I think the Republicans are thinking about him a lot, it seems like. Very attractive in lots of ways. Military. Likeable. Likeable.

Et cetera. You know, and then you have Gretchen Whitmer, who's doing, Governor Whitmer, who's doing a different thing. Okay, well, come on, man. Well, I know, but I'm just saying, everyone has their own thing. I know, but it's so funny because, like, a couple weeks ago, she got into big trouble because she was in the Oval Office. And hid. She went, like. Hid in the Oval. Oh, yeah, there's the better. She, I mean. That means you're out live for your next one. Okay, and then this week, she, Trump, Trump,

Trump fucking punked her twice. Punked her twice. Called her up. He was in Michigan. It was something that, you know, governors need the president's help on certain things, you know? And he calls her up, which you didn't expect. And then they got a picture of her hugging him or smiling with him. Oh, there it is. And now she's...

history's greatest monster for that. And I would just like to say, I was trying to help her the other week. Just own it like a certain talk show host did when you meet the president. It's okay. He's the president. You don't have to... That should not be wrong.

It's not exactly... It should not be wrong at all. She was... She got punked, and she should have been prepared, and it should have been done in a different way. Like, come into the office. Oh, look, there's a whole bunch of reporters here. That was a little different. She did. She did a video. She's very heavy on social media, and she said, I'm working for the people of Michigan, and I'm going to do it, whether...

Right.

They have to balance their budget. They've got to run agencies. They can't print more money to balance it. I think it's a great training ground. I think members of Congress and Senate, they don't even manage their own office. So I like an idea of a governor working across party lines. Yeah, I think the issue was she was – there was a Kibnock plot. He called her that – I think it was that nasty woman or something. No, that was Hillary.

What woman? That was a lady in Puerto Rico. That's a lady. Well, that's a lot of ladies. A lot of bad ladies. Anyone who says nothing is a nasty woman. A nasty woman. But he did it. If you don't... That woman. I think it was that woman. Whatever it was. I know, but in her case, it was a very severe plot to kill her. But look, he's going to be there for another four years, okay? The idea that you can ignore him or hide in the Oval Office is just insane. Well, you don't go in the Oval Office and think you're going to hide. It's...

You shouldn't have made that decision before. Because he's a guy... She did look surprised. Everything with him is personal relationships. Yeah. So it's like, you were rude to me. Yeah, and then when you need, like, aid to Michigan, it's, well, you were very rude, you were a nasty woman. It's like...

I'm sorry, that's not right that that guy who acts that way in the office... But it is. It's who he is, and it's not going to change. So you might as well talk to the guy. It's just delirious. Although I've talked to a bunch of other Democratic governors who are like, we're not showing up in many places. Like, they're going to make sure where they are so they don't get caught. Here's what you have to understand. I have a lot of Democratic governors who call me to ask me to talk to the president. And I say, why don't you just talk to him?

Tell me about your caucus, and when I mean caucus, the people... There's not just one caucus in the Republican Party. There's like three or four. But your people... Yes.

Some I claim to be. Am I right or wrong about this? The biggest issue is that they have a very big chip on their shoulder, somewhat very understandable, about being called deplorables. Yes. And having the cool kids in the class, in the media and academia, looking down on them, thinking they're deplorable. And so they just have this, I'm going to make the liberals cry their liberal tears attitude, which kind of...

transcends everything for them. And the problem is, for the liberals, these are the kids who run the high school now, and they're stuffing your body into a locker every day. So you kind of have to talk to the deplorables, even if you think they're deplorable. Except...

I don't think the people you're saying are the cool kids are the cool kids anymore. I think they are getting themselves stuffed in a locker every day. So it's a little bit different. It's really interesting because tech people do this a lot. They're the victims when they're the richest and most powerful people in the world. And so you often get that dynamic of they always feel hurt about something or victimized in some way. And they're in no way victims. In fact, they're victims.

They're quite the opposite. And so to me, a lot of times, every accusation is a confession. So Mark Zuckerberg, speaking about somebody you write a lot about, he's talking this week about AI companionship, which I find, you know, we're talking about all these issues that have to do with what happens this month and next month. Maybe this is really the big issue, that this kind of thing. He says new programming interface for its AI models. He's talking about the fact that too many...

too few Americans have a lot of friends. He said this could help make up for the friends Americans wish they had. I don't want to live in this world where my friend is R2D2. I really don't. I think he had a bigger problem.

I thought you were going to ask about his interview with Theo Vaughn where he talks about how he raw dogs reality. But okay, we'll move on from there. I don't think he knew what the word raw dog was, but I do. One of the things that he talks about is these AI agents that are going to be your friends. They're going to be your agents. Agantic is a word all the tech people word. They've made a new word. Wow. Agantic. And they will be your friends. They will do things for you. They're using agents as a model? Agantic, yes. Whoa. Yes. It's a new word. Now you have it.

it. It's ridiculous. But what the idea is, is that they will be your friends and say a companion for an older person. And in some ways you could see that the problem Mark faces in including this amazing Wall Street Journal article this week was the

They're testing it and making it very aggressive and sexual at the same time, and some of it has gotten through to kids. And so they have to be very careful as they're starting. Making the friend sexual? Yes, and including celebrities at some point. Like, they sign deals with a bunch of celebrities, and these...

can get sexual with you. Well, I know when they created the metaverse... And by the way, what happened to that? Remember the metaverse where you put the thing on and we were all... I mean, Zuckerberg was so in on it, though he renamed the company Meta. Because he thought we were all going to live in this world. Oh, I'm riding a unicorn at work. And, you know...

Which you do. But what happened was that it got infiltrated by a bunch of horny guys who were cyber fondling the women and stuff like that. But there are benefits to it. Not that for any benefit. You...

From education? Yes. Education, like you can train people to be electricians, doctors and others. Solve cancer. No one's going to live in that. But look, I'm a believer. AI's part all the way here. It's in your phone and everywhere else.

I want AI to come and fix the things we've already screwed up, help our health care, help our logistics and others. But this having some sex bot for it, you know, this is crazy. I know. Like the Internet goes there. When the Internet started, it drove the Internet. When it started, it was going to be everything. We're all going to be together and we're all going to be friends with everybody. And then it turned into what it turned into. I think a sex bot is less harmful than a friend bot. Yeah. I mean, I mean, sex is, you know. As long as you're of age, sure.

Right. Well, I mean, you masturbate before you're of age. Fair. What's the difference? But a friend is for life. A friend is real. Sex doesn't have to be real. Okay.

You see what I'm saying? I see what you're saying. I think it's much more dangerous... I'll stick to politics. Much more dangerous to think that you can have friends who are not human. Yeah, but that's going to happen. These things are... You're going to have crazy things happen to you. I mean, today they have it on catfishing people because they think somebody's there is not human. But, yeah. But, look...

Whoever captures AI and quantum first is going to have an advantage over other countries. And so what we have to do is be smart about it. There's guidelines you can do, but you're never going to get AI unless you get the energy policy. Yes, but there's certain things we can have, like protect children from sex bots. I don't know. I feel like you could win on that. I don't think that's partisan. I think that's an easy place to get to. By the way, the sex robots need rare earth minerals to work. Right, exactly. And the idea, the thing that...

But you know what they really need? I don't know. That's... You know what your sex... They need a permitting process that they could actually produce it in America instead of relying on China. That's what they need. Yeah, but sex box don't exist. But let's not go into that. One of the things they have to do is this argument that Tech made is we've got to beat China. We've got to beat... That's always... I call it the Xi or me argument. And Mark Zuckerberg made it to me many years ago in an interview and he was essentially saying...

And I said, is that Xi or me? And he said, essentially, yes. And I said, do I have a different choice than any of those two? Because we have to be ahead against China in this thing, but it has to be in a way that's safe and that people can really use helpfully versus all the incredibly bad things that can go wrong. Yeah, but it has so many good... I mean, curing cancer, detecting cancer before... We're still here in the 21st century, so... Wrap it up now and go to Newell's.

New Rule. Now that Chubby Checker has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the hall must issue an apology to any recording artist who didn't make it in and recorded more than one song. Because here's a list of Chubby's records. Twist with Chubby Checker. Twist along with Chubby Checker. Your twist party with Chubby Checker. For twisters only. For teen twisters only. Twisting around the world. Don't knock the twist. Let's twist again and still twist it.

I mean, it was a good song, but Chubby has to admit that the twist isn't a real dance. There's no steps. There's just this. That's not a dance. It's what old Asian ladies do in the park for exercise. New Rule, instead of saying that the $67 million super plane that fell off the side of one of our aircraft carriers this week was lost at sea, just say it was promoted to submarines.

And then to Artificial Reef. And don't say it happened because they were evading some Houthis, because that's totally different than being chased. It's more like when you see your ex in a store. Never had high hopes for that one. All right. No, well, if you read the headline, like I did, that said, Meghan Markle reveals why she and Prince Harry call each other M and H, don't get your hopes up.

Yes, it could be because there's a fascinating royal tradition that dates back to the days of King Henry VIII, but it's not. It's because their names start with M and H. I know there's a lot of volatility in the world right now, but one thing you can always count on is that Harry and Meghan will never, ever be interesting. New Rule Dodge has to make a TV commercial bragging about...

How the Pope chose a Dodge Ram as his final Popemobile. That's right, Popemobiles in the past have been made by Mercedes, Fiat, Toyota, Jeep, and Renault. But when Francis needed to pick a carmaker for his last swing around Vatican City, he chose Ram Tough. Ready for the hard jobs, whether it's hauling plywood or ferrying the Vicar of Christ to the pearly gates. LAUGHTER

Pope Francis doing more for American manufacturing dead than Trump is doing alive. New Rule, the climber who had to be airlifted from near the summit of Mount Fuji because of altitude sickness then returned four days later because he thought he lost his phone there and went back and then had to be rescued again. He must be taken back up to Mount Fuji and thrown into the volcano where his last words will be shit, no service. LAUGHTER

And finally, new rule. Before they can take on Donald Trump, Democrats have to decide which wing of their own party is best to lead them out of the wilderness. And when I say that, I'm sure you can all guess what recent incident in the news I'm thinking about. The season eight finale of Love is Blind. Now, if you didn't see it, well, first of all, fuck you. It's absolutely...

The best dating show with love and blind in the title. But here's what happened. The bride, an impressive, attractive nurse named Sarah Carton, walked out on her dream wedding to sales consultant Ben Mazenga. They were at the altar, all dressed up, almost to the part where they eat cake and do the electric slide.

When Sarah broke the news to her man that she just couldn't go through with it, had he cheated on her? Abused her? Was he a folk-singing Irish vampire? No. It was because of Black Lives Matter. Because if there's one thing we know about the young liberal women of today, it's that they are very, very high in their standards. About everything. And Ben, while no racist, had not, well, he had not done the work on this issue.

And that's when Sarah realized she'd rather die alone. Because love isn't blind, it's woke. Well, now, to be fair to Sarah, it wasn't just Black Lives Matter. Ben also didn't have much to say about the vaccine. And his position on trans was basically, I don't know, I guess...

Sarah's sister is gay, and when she told that to Ben, Ben said he had, quote, "no discomfort around that community at all." Not good enough, Ben! I think what you meant to say is, "Fuck yeah, I fucking love it!" Let me tell you, folks, if the standards on the left are going to be this high, and politics is going to be this much of a cock block, we're never going to win elections or have any more babies.

This inclination from certain liberals to always and immediately excommunicate instead of communicate is what makes them so unlikable. And I'm sorry, Sarah, to make you the poster child for this, but come on. I mean, look at this stiff. What'd you expect? Okay, you're a much better person than he is. You win. And by win, I mean lose.

Christ, first we couldn't date people who had opposite political beliefs, now we can't even date them if they have no opinion at all? It's enough to make you lose faith in finding true love on a reality streaming series. Because if you're going to eliminate every 20-something who hasn't thought a lot about politics, you're going to be working from a smaller pool than roadies with no leg tattoos.

And let's be clear. Ben didn't say, you know, I have thought about Black Lives Matter and I'm with Derek Chauvin. No. He said, I'm young and dumb and full of fantasy football stats. Could we just talk about it? I'm sorry, I'm not up to the part of my life yet where I give a shit about the issues. Should he? Of course. We all should do a lot of things. I should meditate and finish Moby Dick and learn to get to sleep without a gummy.

But maybe Ben hasn't turned his life over to being a social justice warrior yet because he's preoccupied with trying to get his life going.

Possibly because he's worried about having the means to support the woman he thought he was going to marry, who seems rather demanding in particular. Which is kind of how it is these days. Did you know that on Bumble, only 15% of the women are willing to date a man under 5'8"? Wow. Women, they're like roller coasters now. You must be this tall to ride them. LAUGHTER

And that's not all. The guy must also have a nice car and make over 100K a year. Okay, but you know, how many six-foot-two Grand Prix drivers are there? I know you've all been told that you can have it all, and you're a queen and a lady boss and that bitch. But maybe your judgy ass is no prize either. And if you...

And if you jilt a guy for not thinking enough about Black Lives Matter, just tell me this. What have you actually done that made any more of a difference in any black life than what your inadequate ex-fiancee did? I asked Senator Adam Schiff here last week when the subject of Trump's sliding poll numbers came up. Okay, but how are the Democrats going to blow it this time?

This is how. Posturing, purity tests, the politics of I unfriend you if you're not exactly with me a thousand percent. Barack Obama used to preach that the perfect is the enemy of the good. Yeah, it's also the enemy of getting laid.

All right, that's our show. I want to thank my guests Kevin McCarthy, Kara Swisher, and Cheech and Chong. All right, Club Random drops every Sunday on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts. Now go watch Overtime on YouTube. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.