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cover of episode If You Want This Kind of Love, Don’t Expect It to Be Easy

If You Want This Kind of Love, Don’t Expect It to Be Easy

2025/3/5
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Modern Love
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Samaiya Mushtaq
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Samaiya Mushtaq: 我从小在传统的穆斯林家庭长大，对婚姻的理解比较传统，希望嫁给一个善良的穆斯林男人。21岁时，我嫁给了这样一个人，但婚后我发现他无法满足我的情感需求，这让我感到非常痛苦。在医学院的学习和工作中，我经历了很多艰难的事情，这让我更加渴望情感上的支持和理解，而我的前夫无法提供这些。我尝试过沟通，但最终还是选择了离婚，这让我感到非常羞愧和孤独。离婚后，我开始重新审视自己，并尝试在约会软件上寻找新的伴侣。我遇到了Mahmoud，他是一个非常体贴、细心的人，他能够理解我的情感需求，并给予我充分的支持和理解。我们结婚后，经历了疫情和Mahmoud前往加沙做志愿者的挑战，但这些经历更加巩固了我们的感情，也让我更加深刻地理解了爱的意义。Mahmoud的奉献精神和对人道主义的热爱深深地打动了我，我也因此更加成熟和独立。 Anna Martin: 作为一名记者，我采访了Samaiya Mushtaq，倾听了她关于婚姻、离婚和爱情的故事。她的故事充满挑战和波折，但她最终在服务中找到了真爱。她的经历也让我对爱情和婚姻有了新的理解，真正的爱情不是一帆风顺的，而是需要付出和奉献的。

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Chapters
Samaiya Mushtaq's first marriage ended because her husband couldn't meet her emotional needs. She felt shame and loneliness after the divorce but eventually found the strength to move on and trust her own judgment.
  • Samaiya's first marriage lacked emotional connection.
  • She felt shame and loneliness after the divorce.
  • She ultimately trusted her instincts and ended the marriage.

Shownotes Transcript

When Samaiya Mushtaq was growing up, she imagined marrying a kind Muslim man, and at 21, she did. But while studying to become a psychiatrist in medical school, she realized her husband couldn’t meet her emotional needs — something she deeply craved. Despite the shame she felt, she got a divorce.

In this episode, Mushtaq shares the twists and turns of her unexpected second chance at love, where service is at the center. From working in health care during the pandemic to building a family to undertaking harrowing service trips to Gaza, she found what she truly needed in a marriage — only after letting go of what she thought she wanted.

Samaiya Mushtaq’s memoir will be published by Daybreak Press next winter.

This episode was inspired by her 2023 essay, “Must We Feel Shame Over Divorce?)”

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