If your partner gets angry and it triggers you, listen to this one. There are a couple of basic things you can do to support each other.
QUESTION
From Kristen in Philadelphia:
Just want to thank you for everything you’ve done with the podcast - it’s had a tremendous impact on my life. I wanted to ask you a question about healthy expressions of frustration and conflict. I have a partnership with someone I really love and sometimes, in conflict when he’s extremely frustrated, he tends to pound a pillow or grunt or do some physical manifestation of his frustration. He tends to be more of a fighter - I’m more like freeze/flight. I have a history of physical and sexual abuse. I’ve done a lot of work with it, with EMDR and stuff like that, but still, when he does that in conflict, I find it super triggering, I get really afraid. *I talked to him about that and asked him if he could refrain from doing it around me and he was responsive, but I’m wondering if that’s healthy and something I should adapt to and allow for or if it is fair or reasonable for me to not want him to do it? *Any of your thoughts would be super helpful, thanks!
- What is a healthy expression of anger? [3:00]
- A powerful technique for handling things when you're triggered [7:00]
- How to deal with root-cause of anger long-term [8:00]
