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cover of episode Vol.63 如何正确“介入”别人的婚姻和感情,酷爱当感情导师和老娘舅的我们

Vol.63 如何正确“介入”别人的婚姻和感情,酷爱当感情导师和老娘舅的我们

2024/12/16
logo of podcast 黑刀鱼

黑刀鱼

AI Deep Dive AI Insights AI Chapters Transcript
People
V
Vivi
摔仔姜小黑
炯杰
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Vivi: 我热衷于参与他人的感情生活,但通常是主动介入,而不是被邀请。我经常介入朋友的婚姻,即使没有被邀请。我会像观察员一样点评他人的行为,即使对方关系比自己稳定。我经常介入关于夫妻分担家务和带孩子的争吵。在一个聚会上,我抱怨丈夫,结果被其他人指责,感到委屈。在朋友面前抱怨丈夫,结果被指责,让我感到后悔和不体面。理想的介入方式是让当事人反省自己,而不是简单地评判对错。第三方介入可以帮助夫妻双方说出不敢或害怕说的话。在一个聚会上,她抱怨丈夫,结果被其他人指责,感到委屈。在朋友面前抱怨丈夫,结果被指责,让她感到后悔和不体面。寻找专业的第三方介入需要花费金钱。喜欢当第三方介入者可能存在病态的心理满足感。作为第三方介入者,需要警惕病态的心理满足感。 炯杰: 单向沟通更容易认同一方的观点。当双方都在场时,介入者可以更全面地了解情况,并扮演“判官”的角色。即使想保持沉默,也难以避免在介入他人婚姻时发表意见。我的介入宗旨是劝和不劝离。积极主动地帮助他人可能会导致情绪上的消耗,且未必能真正解决问题。倾听有时是无效的,无法解决问题本身。婚姻需要他人介入,但前提是当事人确实有问题。即使没有被求助,适度安慰和鼓励也是可以的。喜欢当第三方介入者可能存在病态的心理满足感。作为第三方介入者,需要警惕病态的心理满足感。如果夫妻双方都能参与,效果更好,重点是沟通。介入者也可能会有失误,无法真正解决问题。劝分劝合的结果可能与预期不符,导致介入者尴尬。他不会劝分,即使劝和后对方分手,他也能接受。劝分后,可能会被双方责怪。他不会对朋友的私生活给出太多建议。介入者应该理解当事人的行为,而不是简单地否定。婚姻关系本身可能存在问题,需要双方真正的沟通和交流。 摔仔姜小黑: 她经常主动介入朋友的婚姻,即使没有被邀请。她的介入方式是“推一把”,帮助他人解决问题,并为可能出现的后果做好准备。积极主动地帮助他人可能会导致情绪上的消耗,且未必能真正解决问题。她作为旁观者,见证了父子关系的复杂变化,并感到无力感。她对这种介入感到无力,无法重塑当事人的生活。她的介入方式与节目中的介入方式不同。她分享了一个案例:朋友的感情问题,她只能倾听,无法给出建议。她很少直接劝分劝合,更多的是提供情感支持和经济帮助。她很少说别人的闲话,因为那没有用。她会提供经济上的帮助,但不会干涉朋友的感情选择。在倾听时,要先承认对方的情绪是合理的。安慰要真诚,避免否定对方的观点。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why do people often intervene in others' relationships, according to the podcast?

People often intervene in others' relationships because they feel a sense of responsibility or a desire to help, especially when they see friends or loved ones struggling. Some individuals, like the hosts, enjoy playing the role of a mediator or counselor, believing that their involvement can bring clarity or resolution to conflicts. Additionally, having a third party present can encourage open communication between partners who might otherwise avoid difficult conversations.

What is a common issue that arises when intervening in a couple's relationship?

A common issue is that the third party often only hears one side of the story, leading to biased advice. Additionally, the intervention may not solve the underlying problem, and the couple might continue to face the same issues repeatedly. The third party may also feel a sense of power or validation from being involved, which can sometimes lead to unhealthy dynamics.

What is the potential downside of involving parents in marital conflicts?

Involving parents in marital conflicts can escalate the situation, as parents may have their own biases or unresolved issues with their children or their children's partners. This can lead to further tension and even the breakdown of relationships, both between the couple and between the couple and their parents.

How does the podcast describe the role of a third party in resolving marital conflicts?

The podcast describes the role of a third party as someone who can facilitate open communication between partners, allowing them to express feelings or concerns they might not otherwise share. However, the third party must be cautious not to take sides or impose their own judgments, as this can lead to further complications rather than resolution.

What is the importance of acknowledging emotions when intervening in someone's relationship?

Acknowledging emotions is crucial because it validates the person's feelings and helps them feel heard and understood. This can create a safe space for them to open up and discuss their issues more constructively. Without this validation, the person may feel dismissed or judged, which can hinder effective communication and problem-solving.

Chapters
本期节目讨论了嘉宾们介入他人感情的经历和感受,分享了在不同情境下如何处理感情问题。
  • 嘉宾们分享了多次介入他人感情的经历,包括朋友、夫妻等。
  • 嘉宾们探讨了介入感情的动机和方式,以及可能产生的后果。
  • 嘉宾们认为,介入感情需要谨慎,要考虑自身能力和可能造成的负面影响。

Shownotes Transcript

聊聊我们给别人当感情导师和老娘舅的故事和感受 本期主播:Vivi、烱杰(小飞)、@摔仔姜小黑 合作讨论、听众群请联系:jxh19941114开头Bgm:Wish you were here—Pink Floy结尾Bgm:《莽撞》演唱(第一作曲):汪紫芸;作词(第二作曲):姜小黑