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cover of episode Vol.14 “嫌弃”父母,从他们不再高大 | 聊聊那些愧疚但真实的心里话

Vol.14 “嫌弃”父母,从他们不再高大 | 聊聊那些愧疚但真实的心里话

2024/8/28
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老派90

AI Deep Dive AI Insights AI Chapters Transcript
People
加薪
大吉
大小
表姐
Topics
加薪:家庭群是家庭成员沟通的重要媒介,但其中常常出现嫌弃与被嫌弃的现象。父母在家庭群中表达负面情绪,子女的回应方式会影响亲子关系。子女对父母信息的冷淡回应,可能反映出一种‘听不到’、‘看不见’的嫌弃心理。父母出于关心发送的信息,子女可能并不需要,甚至会觉得是一种负担。 大吉:子女对父母发送的保健品或健康信息感到厌烦,选择不回应。最初尝试用科普链接回应父母的担忧,但后来选择沉默。子女对父母转发的一些奇怪信息感到无奈,但表面上会给予积极回应。 表姐:子女与父母相处中,可能存在‘嫌弃’的时刻。父母渴望融入年轻人的世界,但沟通方式可能存在差异,导致子女感到尴尬。父母在家庭群中寻求积极回应,子女的冷淡回应会让他们感到失落。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why do children often feel a sense of 'disdain' towards their parents as they grow older?

Children may feel a sense of 'disdain' towards their parents as they grow older because they perceive their parents as less capable or out of touch with modern trends. This can manifest in frustrations over parents' inability to use new technology, their reliance on outdated habits, or their perceived lack of progress. Often, this 'disdain' is not truly directed at the parents but rather reflects the children's own insecurities or anxieties about aging and responsibility.

What role does social media play in the relationship between parents and their adult children?

Social media often becomes a key communication tool between parents and their adult children, especially in family group chats. However, it can also highlight generational gaps, as parents may share content that their children find irrelevant or outdated. When children respond positively to such content, it can encourage parents to share more, fostering a sense of connection. Conversely, ignoring these messages can lead to feelings of neglect or disappointment in parents.

How does the concept of 'double standards' apply to the way children view their parents?

Children often apply 'double standards' when judging their parents. For example, they may criticize their parents for behaviors they themselves engage in, such as spending too much time on their phones. This double standard stems from a desire to assert superiority or independence from their parents, even as they unconsciously replicate similar habits. It reflects a broader societal tendency to view older generations as less capable or progressive.

Why do parents sometimes feel the need to 'seek attention' from their adult children?

Parents may 'seek attention' from their adult children because they feel increasingly disconnected from their children's lives. As children grow more independent, parents may struggle to find ways to stay relevant or involved. Sharing content or seeking validation through social media or family group chats is one way they attempt to bridge this gap and feel acknowledged in their children's busy lives.

How can adult children better understand and empathize with their parents' behaviors?

Adult children can better understand and empathize with their parents' behaviors by recognizing the generational and cultural differences that shape their parents' actions. Acknowledging that parents may feel left behind by rapid technological and societal changes can help foster patience. Engaging in open conversations, responding to their attempts at communication, and reflecting on one's own biases can also strengthen the parent-child relationship.

Chapters
本期节目以听友在家庭群里的不回应现象展开,探讨了年轻人对父母日渐衰老的“嫌弃”心理。这种“嫌弃”并非恶意,而是源于两代人之间认知和生活方式的差异,以及对自身和父母的双重标准。
  • 年轻人对父母的“嫌弃”源于两代人认知和生活方式差异,以及对自身和父母的双重标准
  • 父母渴望融入年轻人的世界,但沟通方式有时显得笨拙
  • 子女对父母的不回应,可能源于对变化的焦虑和恐惧

Shownotes Transcript

你有没有感觉到,伴随我们的长大,同样滋生出来的还有对父母的丝丝“嫌弃”……这种隐隐的情绪会让自己觉得不应该,却又无法忽视,它切实存在着,比如说:

“手机新功能,怎么教都不会。才五十多天天玩儿手机,我爸太服老了。”

“对!我爸散步的时候打开短视频边走边没事瞄两眼,我也有点难过。”

“爸爸耳背了,问电影名字,回答三遍就不耐烦了,而且大声说话很累。”

“微信视频号好多是营销号,老人辨别能力差,很不放心。”

“我妈每次生气或不满,不直接说,要默默转发朋友圈和抖音,就……幼稚。”

这些,都是我们在“老派90”听友群(微信:plcz2023)中征集到的“嫌弃”,可谓“花样百出”。

这些是嫌弃爸妈,还是嫌弃自己?家庭群里的已读不回,是否也是我们对爸妈的“听不到”、“看不见”?我们从家庭群说起,开始反思我们嫌弃的到底是什么?加薪也发现,当她试验性地回复妈妈发的短视频,奇妙的化学反应竟然发生了。我们试图揭开嫌弃的外衣,抛去“不高级”、“退步”、“矫情”等偏见,讨论背后真实的心理动机,一步一步地发现,双标竟是我们自己……

嘉宾:表姐(没错,表姐返场啦!Vol.1 孝顺,可能是养老路上最大的绊脚石))

📝 Show Notes:

02:10 三四十岁的“夹心族”,夹在了嫌弃与被嫌弃之中

06:50 回复家庭群的短视频,结果出乎意料!

11:35 听友大笑:“我爸沉迷抖音,太服老,恨铁不成钢!”

19:04 听友切切:“妈妈矫情发朋友圈,故意给我看。”

23:00 曾经嫌弃爸妈的我,也开始信中医聊养生,啪啪打脸

32:09 嫌弃妈妈买书不看,“关你什么事?”

34:12 嫌弃父母“怕花钱”,从不解到理解

41:42 爸妈退休后开始“找事”,子女:“你吃喝不愁矫情什么?”

47:30 父母“黄昏恋”,丢脸嫌弃妈?

55:52 父母变弱,孩子变强,两条曲线的交汇时刻

1:00:25 当父母不再“无所不能”

1:05:39 我被叫阿姨,“不是你老,是他们不知道自己长大了。”

1:10:16 社会上,老年人越来越被嫌弃吗?

【关于节目】

“老派90”是由「加薪」「大吉」两个90后媒体人,创建的一档关于“养老”的播客。主播加薪,ESFJ,资深数据新闻人,曾供职于财新等多家媒体。主播大吉,INTP,前资深媒体人,重返校园,南洋理工“老年学”在读。

所谓“老派”,不是刻板守旧,而是想理解老年一派,想提前站在80岁自己的面前,说些或做些什么。有一天,我们会不畏惧老去。

【听友交流】

⭐️听友微信群:plcz2023

欢迎加入“老派90”听友群,日常会分享养老相关信息,如书籍电影、政策发布、行业信息等。

  

背景音乐:

《爸爸妈妈》- 李荣浩

封面图:

来自小红书@辛安小