Episode: 10)
_______________WELCOME
You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.
_______________SHOW NOTES
All mentors begin mentoring with a heart to make a positive difference in the life of a child. So often, we, as mentors, have in our mind what a successful mentoring relationship looks like.
Some times, success looks like:
- Academic achievements
- Dressing nicer
- Athletic success
- No sex, drugs or alcohol
- Better behavior
- No cussing
- Going to church
- Kindness, saying “yes ma'am” or “yes sir”, or handshake and making eye contact
Don’t get me wrong, these are all good things that will probably help set your child up for success in today’s world. But we cannot focus on these things. When we focus on outcomes, the enemy can make the child you are mentoring feel like a project and not a person.
When we have expectations that don’t get met, frustration can set in. When that negativity enters into a relationship, the enemy can use it to lie to you and wreck havoc on how you perceive your mentoring relationship.
Here are five keys to keep your heart in the right place while mentoring.
1. Don’t focus on outcomes.
- Focusing on outcomes leads you to see your mentee as a project
- Focus on being present more than you focus on their future.
2. People aren’t projects, they’re people.
- People don't progress like projects. We are never out of process. None are done.
- Relationships are warm and understanding. Projects are cold and calculating.
**3. No formula for mentoring. Every relationship is different. **
- "*Spend time with a kid + Teaching him wise ways = Life Transformation." *Sounds great, but it's not true
- Mentors are called to recognize the needs of the children they serve and be sensitive to God's leadership as the relationship grows
**4. Love is not performance based. **
- Our love comes with no strings attached. We love because he first loved us. We love no matter what.
5. Hope vs. Expectation
- Hope believes. Expectations assume.
- The kids we mentor should not have to carry the weight of our expectations
- Our hope in them and for them should carry their burdens, not be their burden.
