Episode 299: Finding Balance in School with Sarah Potter
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Welcome to A Delectable Education, the podcast that spreads the feast of the Charlotte Mason Method. I'm Emily Kaiser and I'm here with Nicole Williams and Liz Cattrall. And today we are having a guest interview with Sarah Potter.

Sarah is one of our oldest, not in age, but length of time, library members. So we have known her a very long time. And she's been a part of our Charlotte Mason reading groups. And I think came to almost all our seminars we used to teach in the old days and conferences and so on. And then this year was also part of our library.

large family logistics panel that we had at our annual online conference, ADE at Home. So Sarah, welcome. Thanks, Liz.

I was wondering if we could just start off today. We've been talking about, we've been in a series on balancing our lives. And so we've, each of our guests has spoken about a different way that they've had to balance their life. And so we're looking forward to that and hearing from you about that today. Could you just first off, just briefly share about your family and a little bit about your journey with Charlotte Mason?

Sure. And it really might not be that long before I am the oldest in age in the library, too. But I have six children. I've graduated two of them. So my oldest is 21, and he's currently at Virginia Tech pursuing a degree in computer science.

My second daughter is also graduated and she'll be attending Radford University next year for occupational therapy. So I have four still at home that I'm homeschooling in some capacity. And they are 17, 14, a 10-year-old, and my youngest is just five.

So I've been at it for a while and have a while to go. But we have been doing Charlotte Mason from the very beginning, largely due to you meeting Liz and Emily before my homeschooling journey even began.

I think my oldest was maybe four when I first met you, when you were first opening a library, and I just went to get some information. So I just jumped in with Charlotte Mason, and I continued with Charlotte Mason from the very beginning. But I did know that when I started homeschooling, I wanted something radically different from what I had before.

growing up for my public education. So the more I learned about Charlotte Mason, just the more I fell in love with those ideas. And I really had no reason to ever turn away. I just continued plowing through and learning as best I could and implementing it. And I knew, I always knew I was just where I wanted to be with that. Mm-hmm.

Yes, I remember when you're oldest and you had, I think, only two children at the time when you had that very first meeting in our living room about our new library venture. So, yeah, you were there at the beginning. Yeah.

Well, a few years ago, you made a big change, one that requires a lot of sacrifice of time and travel and probably mental load to be a part of a Charlotte Mason learning community. So can you tell us a little bit about what prompted that decision, especially since I think when you made that change, your second was a senior, right? So you had

Yes, that's right. So what kind of led to that and what were some of the considerations that you made when you made that decision? It was actually kind of a funny story of what prompted that. But we had been on a summer vacation out west and it was a three week vacation. We had just finished up visiting our last national park and we had this long haul of a ride home.

So on that ride home, I decided, well, I better start planning. School is going to be on me before I know it. So I got out my books. I pulled up my consult. I thought, OK, I'm going to dive in. Let's see what books I need to order. And my youngest, who was 18,

probably 18 months at the time, just started screaming. And all of a sudden there was just chaos in our van. Everything was loud. Everything was screaming. And I just remember thinking, what am I doing? And how am I going to do this for 17 more years without going crazy?

And at that moment, I remembered someone at some point mentioned there might be a Charlotte Mason community school thing opening up. And I got on my phone. I texted my friend. Did this ever happen? Is there a school? She sent me the website. I got on there and I really liked what I saw.

It was the first time I'd seen a Charlotte Mason group that seemed to seamlessly fit into the schedule that I was already doing. And I just felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit that,

this is what you should do. You need some help. You need some sanity. This seemed like an answer to the stress that I was feeling at that moment. So I sent my email of asking for information and I closed my planning books and I just kind of had some peace about everything only to find out the next day that the school was full.

And I felt a little troubled at that point because I really felt that the Holy Spirit was, you know, giving me peace about finally venturing off this road that I'd been on for so long. And I kind of felt a little disappointment.

Well, fast forward, I eventually got in, another family dropped out and I was accepted into the community. But the initial prompting, I guess I would say, was a little bit of a moment of despair was that initial prompting. But after I reflected on it and when I really had to make the decision of joining or not joining, it was a big decision. I loved homeschooling. I loved being at home with my kids.

But there were some gaps that I felt that I couldn't fill at home. And part of those gaps were friendships. My kids were alone and I didn't put much emphasis on that. I didn't know that it really mattered that much. We had a big family. We had kids that they can be friends with each other, neighbors.

But I realized quickly that my teenage girls, especially, I realized how important friends were. And that was something I hadn't sought after and looked for them or really even I didn't realize the importance of that for a teenage girl. That was a gap I couldn't fill. The other big gap was my high schoolers were doing all of the things. I provided them a feast and

But to be honest, my time was being spent with my younger kids. I read them books. I did all the schooling with them. And my older students, even though they were doing it and I could listen to their narrations, I couldn't have any valuable discussions because I wasn't reading the same books they were. And I felt like that was a big gap that I was looking for some other help in those areas that I couldn't do it all alone.

For our listeners who may not be familiar with Living Education Academy, would you just share a little bit about what the model is for the school in general? It's not a five-day week thing that you send your kids to, right? It gives you complete peace of mind while you're at home while they're gone, right? Yeah.

Right. That's correct. We are a school or a learning community that meets two days a week. So we meet on Tuesdays. We meet on Thursdays. We are still the primary educators of our kids, but we fulfill a full Charlotte Mason load by taking like on the Tuesday that we meet, we will do different subjects together, science, math, math,

literature, and then we will have home lessons that we do at home on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So we do a lot of subjects at home as I normally would. And then on Tuesdays and Thursdays, we meet together. We have different teachers, some outside the community, some moms who are passionate in their areas who provide that level of education. And then we do at home lessons. Mm-hmm.

So it sounds wonderful, but I know that you probably had to relinquish some things, maybe control of some things, or maybe there are some things that just can't get done because of what you're doing. Can you speak into that a little bit?

Sure. Absolutely. It's a big decision even now, every single year. Do I want to keep doing this? Is this the best fit for my family? So there are definitely things that I have to relinquish. And I think you are absolutely correct that the number one thing is control. I had been homeschooling for a long time, setting my own schedule and,

Picking my own lessons, my own books. We could miss a day here or there and just pick up where we left off the next day. So that control was hard to let go of. I can't start my school year when I think the best time is. I can't take my summer break when I think the best time is. So I had to kind of adapt to the other school schedule and make that fit into my life.

When my kids get sick, that can be a problem. Before I would just get sick, we just missed school and then we could add another day on to the term. Not a big deal. But now our term week is set. So if we get sick and we miss a day, we kind of need to make that day up before the end of the term. So that was a big adjustment as well.

And then, of course, the time commitment. We have to get up earlier on Tuesdays and Thursdays. For us, we drive about 50 minutes to our community. So that's twice a week there and back. I figure it's close to four hours a week that I am just spending on the road to drive there and back. I had good visions of like doing audio books in the car or doing our

I don't know, composer study in the car. And to be honest, some of that things haven't happened a lot of since I've joined the community. And that's simply because we're tired in the morning and we're tired when we drive back home.

It just doesn't, it never bit, it never worked. So there are a couple of things like that, that I feel I've had to let go of, and maybe it's not perfect, but, and I'm still trying to adjust to ways we can fit some of those things in that we've had to drop off. Well, on the other hand, since we're talking about balance, what gains have been made that have made this all worth it for you? What's been the trade-off that you've

gotten from having to relinquish a few things or sacrifice some things? Well, obviously there has to be good things or I probably would not have continued with this. So absolutely, there have been so many positive gains since we have joined this learning community. I think one of the number one things are friendships. Friendships.

true, real friendships. We weren't secluded before, but we didn't have friends that we had a lot in common with. Maybe we had our church group here. We had our sports group here, but we had some other homeschoolers here, but no one who

did Charlotte Mason, which is a completely different idea of homeschooling, and love the Lord, and just had all of these things in common. The friendships with these like-minded friends have been so valuable. Friends who love God, who can talk about good books, who

can climb trees and dig in the dirt and not think that's weird. We have a lot of fun with them and we didn't have these close relationships before.

The discussion of the books for my high schoolers, especially in the older kids, has been amazing. They read many of these books on their own and sure, they got a lot out of them. But to have that discussion with other peers,

And another teacher who's read it and not someone who's just kind of trying to understand what they're saying. I think they appreciate that so much more.

and have the expertise in certain subjects like Latin or Spanish. I did my best teaching Spanish. We did some online things, but there's nothing that is the same as someone who's passionate, who speaks Spanish as their native language, providing that expertise in these subjects that we were doing and getting buy-in, but just weren't flourishing.

So they have my my kids have really grown in these areas and the community has been just a great benefit for us. Yeah, it's so good. As an outside observer, I mean, your oldest had graduated from high school before you made this change. And I know this was always a struggle, like you always were trying to find something.

Charlotte Mason homeschoolers who had other things in common with your kids. So I think that always was a priority. But did you,

You said, I just didn't know to seek it out. Like, I think you kind of felt the lack, but maybe not until you had seen it in full fruition, you know, what it could be. Did you realize like what they had missed all those years? Would you say that's accurate? Yeah, I think that's accurate. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't think they were missing a ton or I didn't maybe put out big value on that. But one thing, um,

I've told a couple other people this story, how my girls at home, they would tell me that I don't want to homeschool my kids when I get older because they would just see me

just spending all my time with that and just thought it was just more of a burden. I'm not sure why, but they always kind of said, I don't know if I want to homeschool. And often they would even say, I don't want to have a big family. Like I want to have a small family. And I don't know if it's just the learning community or their age or

But since we have joined and they have these friends, I have heard them say multiple times, like, I can't wait to get married. I can't wait to have kids. I can't wait to homeschool my own kids. Yeah.

And I think part of that is being around other peers who are, that is normal. And that's something they can, you know, be a part of. We aren't the oddballs anymore. The ones that are, you know, doing this weird education with Charlotte Mason, homeschooling and everything.

The whole package, like they now see other families that are so much more similar to us and can appreciate these things that I was trying to give to them. But maybe they didn't see it because I'm their mom. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Well, as we wrap up, what considerations would you encourage people to really think through as they weigh, maybe they have an option for this? And we've talked to, I know our interview with Michelle Riesgraf earlier this season, she drives an hour once a week for a co-op. So, but you do twice a week, but that, and I just have moved exponentially.

an hour closer to because I could not handle the drive. Right. So, I mean, everybody's going to make different considerations, but what, what kinds of things would you encourage moms, parents to think through as they maybe have to make a choice similar to that, that requires a big sacrifice of time or distance or something like that, or, or, you know, their social life or their academic life. Yeah. Any advice, warnings, or just things to consider?

Yeah, it's a tough question. It really is a big decision. So to make a decision that's going to impact your time, I would say to not to make that decision lightly. The changes that I made and the changes that were necessary to adapt to this new schedule was huge. And every family is just so different. So you have to appreciate that.

Had this opportunity opened up 10 years ago, say, I don't think I would have made the same decision because our family was so different at that time. Our situation was different. So I guess my best advice I can give is just to make every decision now.

very carefully and prayerfully and to constantly reevaluate the needs of your family and where you're at without putting overemphasis on one area as to another area. I think I did that. I think I poured in all

all my effort into their academic needs and did not necessarily look at how important the social needs that they were lacking, how important that really was. I was happy to be homeschooling and honestly, things were going well.

And I was kind of happy to avoid teenage drama that tends to happen in a school environment. So I didn't appreciate the needs of my girls to have true friendships and only looked at the negative things like drama that I was avoiding. So yeah.

I realized my girls were missing something in their lives. And so for us, that social need at that particular time in our life was important. But that might not be the same for everyone in every period in your life.

With time, we are definitely limited on our time. So we're given the same amount of time in every day, no matter how much we pray for God to give us more hours in our day. I'm pretty sure that that's a prayer that's just not going to be answered. We're kind of set in that. So just don't make any decision lightly and fast.

especially one that's going to take as much time as this one does, but you also don't need to put all of our time in one need and overlook other needs of our family. That's kind of the best advice I can give, I guess.

Oh, thank you so much, Sarah, for sharing your story. And you're somebody who we all love and, and honor and love to see. And we know the school, but hearing your reasons and what you had to consider and balancing on both of those sides, I think it's going to be a really great help to our audience. So I really appreciate you sharing with us today. Thank you.

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