除了名字和天气，跟外国人聊点什么好？
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大家好,我是 Jenny,欢迎你又一次回来收听潘吉 Jenny 告诉你。Hey everyone, I'm Jason, and welcome to today's episode all about breaking the ice.现在天那么热,我想要冰决得很好啊,为什么还要把它打破?Well, if you want the conversation to flow, right, you gotta break the ice.

是的所以我们这里讲的这个 icebreakers 破冰呢当然就是社交场合避免尴尬这种 conversation starters 你怎么很自然的可以开启一个谈话特别是跟

你初次见面对吧不认识的人对所以今天这期节目里面所有学到的这些和陌生人避免尬聊的技巧还有实际你可以说的话呢对于

比如你下一次去什么 party 呀或者去一些职场的这些社交或者 conference 对吧会议我觉得都很有用而且呢我们今天把所有的这些可以聊的 topics 可以实际问的问题说的话分成了七个大类 That's rightWe have seven different categoriesto cover all the different scenariosyou might find yourself inwhen you want to start a conversationwith a stranger

好,那第一大类呢就是一些最 general 的自我介绍型但这个也很值得研究啊因为很奇怪的就是去跟别人说嗨,你叫什么名字,是吧?

好的,可以怎么问名字呢?

对所以刚刚 Jason 教大家这个方法就非常好然后除了这个介绍名字之外如果你是去一个朋友举办的那种 party 你认识这个主人吗你怎么认识他了

当然如果去一些什么很大的 conference 查些的时候那你就不用对方说我不知道

对所以这个就看场合 OKJason 我想问你的是你可不可以问一个人说你是自己一个人来的吗或者

有没有人跟你一起来?

对这个问题稍微有点危险可能让人会误解觉得你有点你是对我有意思吗所以这个总之你不要什么刚问他的名字然后马上就问他你是一个人在这吗 Are you here by yourself 就你们聊了一聊以后我觉得这个完全就可以问

是的,下面一种问法可能更安全一点,like did you come with anyone?Are you here with any friends, co-workers?

对对而且我觉得这是很好的一种可以 lead tomaybe they willintroduce youto the people they came with 然后你可以 meet 更多的人对

对对或者你跟别人一起来的你还能主动介绍就是说 Come I really want you to meet 谁谁谁对吧 My friend my co-worker my husband my wifeYeah exactly this can be a really nice way to introduce them to other people and make them feel welcome right

没错,好,那看完这第一大类,我们第二大类的问题呢,就是和这个 party 以及这个 event 有关的一些,比如说这东西好不好吃啊,这里有啥好吃好喝的啦。Yeah, often there's a big table with a bunch of food, whether it was catered and bought from another place or maybe cooked by the host, right?You can comment about the food and talk about the food.

对,特别是如果是你的朋友,对吧,人家自己在家里开 party,招待,那你可以说,哇,这些食物太棒了,他们做了一个很棒的工作。对,你先想尝尝食物,你先说这个,对吧,确保食物太棒,不然会很奇怪。很多时候是正好你就是拿了一些小的食物刚吃完,对吧,所以我觉得这是一个非常自然的事情,

甚至像那种大的 event 呀什么 conference 呀他茶歇的时候我就曾经说过 Oh this fruit is very fresh 然后这个什么这个小蛋糕很好吃 Oh the coffee tastes really good

对,就很自然嘛,是吧?那又回到就刚说如果你是在别人家里参加一个 party,除了说他们准备的 food and drinks are really awesome,你可以…

说他们家里很漂亮,装饰得很好,为他把这个 party 整个气氛安排得很好。Yeah, usually if somebody is hosting a party,they put a lot of effort into making the environment great for the party,so complimenting that is really natural,and of course just looks good for the host.

对,so how would you compliment 呢?您怎么说,怎么称赞呢?You could say,they've done a really wonderful job with the party, or the event, or their home.对,所以这个句是非常百搭啊。或者你就 simply,you can say,great party, great event.Yeah,this is just a classic two-word way of just complimenting the party,great party.或者这个 party 他们在那儿放音乐,你可以说,哎,这个音乐选的很好,nice playlist, nice music。

Yeah, exactly. Music is a great way to relate to other people, and often the host hopefully is choosing some good, interesting music that everybody would like.好,那刚刚这些问题呢,我觉得还可以延伸一下,比如你在讲音乐啦,或者吃的喝的啦,then maybe you can, you know, ask them what kind of food, drinks or music do they like.

就不光是这个 party 上的对吧 what do they like in generalyeah you can kind of use the first conversation about the food at the party as a segue into asking them about other food they might like

对,你刚用那个词很好,我们做节目也是,节目要顺的话,这个就得接得很好,衔接,是吧?对,要转,转话题转得好啊。OK,我很难从现在这个 segue 到下一个答类。

Jason 接到好 segue 回来

你有没有去过一些类似的活动啊我觉得这个呢就是留在一些比较职场 professional events 像 conference 啊 networking events 因为如果你是去人家家里的一个 party 就问就很奇怪你有去过别人家里的 party 吗

但是如果是职场的那种 conference 什么我觉得这个就挺好的啊

对,this is great for something like a networking event or something you have to do for work.Yeah,so you can also ask,do you often attend events or conferences like this?Yeah,exactly.好,那继续留在这个比较职场 professional setting,下一个大类呢,is all about

about work.Yeah, talking about work is a really classic way of breaking the ice with someone you don't know and you could just ask them something simple like what kind of work do you do or what do you do for work?

对所以刚才 Jason 这两种都是比较自然的口语的问法如果你直接问 What's your job?What do you do?这个就听起来有点生硬有点僵是吧嗯

对,所以他告诉你以后呢,你可以就继续问一些 follow up questions,比如说,what is it like?大概是什么样的?That's right, what's that like?You know, you give them this feeling that you're curious to hear more about their job or their work.

对,that's the key,是吧?就即使你对他这个工作没有说那么有兴趣,但是因为你已经跟人家聊起来了嘛,不能他告诉你一个答案,以后你就,oh,nice,然后就没话说了,所以就稍微问一点点。That's right,we want the conversation to keep flowing,right?So follow it up with some questions about their work,maybe relate it to your work or something like that.对,

对 是的 是的万一对方说我不工作 I'm a stay at home mom 那你怎么办 classicyou could tell themyou know which is truethat's the hardest jobin the worldexactlyby farby

millions of miles away 世界上最难的工作而且真的 I will often say something likethat's the hardestand most underappreciated jobin the world 就最应该被重视被感谢但是往往不太被重视孩子还会嫌我们烦的工作 Yeah it may not look like a traditional job right but they definitely have a lot of deadlinesand a lot of pressureand they are working 24 7

对对所以我觉得你问这句问题呢 conference networking events 问是非常恰当的但如果你就是去一个 friendly 社交的比较妈妈人群的 maybe you just don't even ask this question 因为有的时候特别在西方嘛我在温哥华的时候很多妈妈是不工作的所以你这个没什么好问的其实

对对对,所以像那样的 setting,比如我就常常会问,what kind of activities are your kids in?你的孩子参加什么课外活动啊,或者 do you recommend any good math tutors?有什么好的数学补习老师推荐之类的。

对,正确,即使他们在派对,也许他们在晚上尽可能地逃避孩子,所以你可能不想向他们提醒。没有,可是我们妈妈们都非常珍惜,我们都很喜欢有更多的信息,更多的资源。是的,那是确的。作为一名父母,我总是在派对中分享我的孩子的照片,所以很棒。好,那你觉得如何?

嗯

对因为是一个比较个人比较隐私的对吧所以我觉得那个关键还是具体看你在的这个场合是什么样的如果就是那种 conference 之类的那就不要问这类的问题那如果就是一个你大家都是差不多的这个群体而且爸爸妈妈的这个聚会那你也不用问 everyone has kids right

对对对所以我们今天教大家的很多呢 You pick and choose 看你的场合然后你去选择要用哪些还有 this next category 我觉得这个大类非常好不管你是在什么样的场合什么样的聚会

对这一大类就是赞扬赞扬

然后在这种社交场合我觉得比较安全的赞扬呢你这个衣服很漂亮啊或者女性常常会看说你戴这个耳环很漂亮丝巾很漂亮你哪里买的啊嗯

对,你刚刚这个 can I ask where you got it 就比直接问 where did you buy it 要好,是吧?就更加的有礼貌一点。Yeah, where did you buy it feels a little bit too personal maybe for some reason, but can I ask where you got it takes out the word buy.

或者我刚说那个 accessory 之类的 I love your earringsI love your necklaceThey're so beautifulThey're so unique 你不一定要问说你在哪里买但你就说一个很特别很有品味 You got great taste

对,没错或者有说你去哪里做头发啊,对,一个我一生都没有听到的问题

对因为 Jason 是光头光头对 But you pull it off really well 不是每个人都能光头这么对啊形象这么好的耶 Thank you yeah the shape of my head rightI have gotten compliments on the shapeof my head yeahOh

真的吗有人跟你说你头型真美你头长得很漂亮他们会告诉我我有一个好头型是为了变胖对吗这就是个笑话但我会接受的对 笑话就是笑话是吧表扬称赞就是表扬

我们今天最后一个大类的这个 very good icebreakers conversation starters 就是和流行文化有关的电影啦电视啦体育 yeah these ones are all about movies tv shows sports kind of popular culture stuff right

对就是总之挑一个最近比较热播的大概率很多人都会知道的对

对我们之前讲过的庆余年是吧或者你完全另类 Have you heard of this very niche director?Yeah, it might sound like you're kind of trying to show off that you have a very niche cool tasted movies or something, right?But maybe you'll get lucky and they'll love the same director.Maybe 你在的那个场合就是一场艺术家的聚会或者现在很多年轻人喜欢去看展嘛各种各样的 photography 呀然后 art 这种 exhibitionMaybe they're

对,看比自己从事门槛低一点嘛,对吧?Do you watch any sports?

对那当然如果你是想问人家具体有没有喜爱从事哪项运动对好那我们看完了七大类非常实用的这个 conversation starters 以后呢

Ending a conversation artfully, gracefully 也非常的重要啊,yes, this is a very difficult thing to do sometimes, right?but very important and a helpful skill to have 你在一个聚会嘛,有很多的 strangers 其实你跟每一个人交流不一定是很久很深入因为那样也有点尴尬所以我们可以怎么比较有理有节的很自然的结束对话呢?

人家听到这个以后他心里就知道了就 OK 了我们可以离开这个聊天然后我们可以去见别人了对吗?对,正确尤其是如果你试着说它在一个真实的声音上说说它对你很好,对吗?然后他们觉得你意味着对,对吗?然后他们离开,然后它不再感到太糟糕或奇怪了

对,甚至你也可以说,也是一个很好的方法。对,反正这里关键是一个时态,就是你要用过去时,to signal,让对方知道说你们的 conversation is ending。

而且你还可以直接就建议说 it was great

我们的聊天到此为止

对,所以 mingle 的意思就是大家其实就是混来混去 mixing,right?You're meeting different people, you're talking with different people.Yeah, it gives you the feeling that you're not going to just sit in the corner and talk to one person the whole party.You're going to move around and try to meet different people, try to have different conversations.是的,如何开启啊?

我们教大家的很有用最后呢如何 end a conversation 也非常实用 because I have definitely been in situations where neither I or the other person knew how to end a conversation gracefully 虽然我们心里都觉得已经没东西聊了很尴尬了但是还是不想伤害对方 so knowing how to wrap things up is super important

好那我们今天的节目就到这儿大家如果对这个场景还有任何问题的话都欢迎到留言专区来告诉我们好谢谢你听了我们期待下一次再见下一次