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cover of episode Ending The Anxious/Avoidant Relational Deathtrap

Ending The Anxious/Avoidant Relational Deathtrap

2025/5/29
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Connor Beaton
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Connor Beaton: 我将讨论如何识别和打破这种由亲近和疏远交替构成的关系模式。这种模式通常与双方的依恋模式有关,并且可能与过去的经历有关。如果你倾向于在亲近后退缩,这可能源于童年时期爱和赞赏被给予后又被剥夺的经历。如果你倾向于焦虑,你可能会因为害怕失去亲近感而过度依赖对方。对于回避型的人来说,亲密关系既是渴望也是威胁,他们需要努力适应亲密关系,并提醒自己这是安全的。打破这种循环的第一步是自我觉察,识别出你所体现的、促成这种推拉模式的行为。接下来,坦诚地沟通你的感受,并确认对方是否也意识到了这种模式,询问对方是否愿意一起努力打破这个循环。打破这种循环的最后一步是学会更深入地依赖自己或更深入地依赖关系。对于回避型的人来说,表达是打破回避型依恋的关键,他们需要表达比自己感到舒适的更多的情感,克服对透明和依赖的恐惧。即使只是承认自己正在退缩,也是打破循环的第一步。

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Talking points: attachment, relationships, psychology

If you're the more anxious type and you're dating someone more avoidant (or vice versa), it can create a whole realm of intensity that many people find hard to fathom. It's the best and worst of the old saying "opposites attract". Here's how to lower the temperature and move towards something more secure.

(00:00:00) - Intro and what contributes to this dynamic

(00:05:36) - The signs and signals that you’re in the cycle

(00:07:20) - How you break it, step one: figure out how you’re contributing

(00:10:13) - Two: full transparency of where you’re at

(00:12:46) - Three: learn how to lean into yourself OR the relationship

(00:16:24) - The phrase every avoidant needs to know


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