Sing along with “Million Bazillion”
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Bridget, are you sure we're ready to do a greatest hits episode? I mean, this show isn't that old and we don't even have that many episodes. Pish posh, Ryan. It is never too soon to revisit our favorite economic and finance concepts. Here, do you think this bow tie has enough sequins?

Bridget, you know the answer to that. There are never enough sequins. Great. Okay. Put this on and this top hat. I'm going to go with the sequin poncho. You feel good? You feel ready? Bridget, since the day we first met at that open casting call in this very theater, I have been waiting for this moment. Great. Because that's our cue. Come on. And now, listeners of all ages, please take your seats and get ready for the hosts of Billion Bazillion. Here's Bridget and Ryan.

Welcome to Million Bazillion, the show that answers the questions that kids and their families have about money. I'm Ryan. And I'm Bridget. And we have a very special episode for you today, Million Bazillionaires, or should I say a very musical episode. That's right. We're sharing some of the greatest hits

from the Million Bazillion Songbook. That's right. Get ready to revisit some of your favorite Million Bazillion tunes and stay until the very end for an all-new, never-before-heard-on-podcast sneak peek of the Million Bazillion Musical, created by some friends of the show. It's going to be worth the wait. Okay, now I know we all get excited to learn about money and to get the answers to your amazing questions.

Adding music just makes that all a million bazillion times better, right? If you want to sing along, and we know you do, check out the show notes for this episode for lyrics. All right, let's hit it. We're taking a musical trip down memory lane with some classic million bazillion oldie tunes from yesteryear. By yesteryear, we mean like a year or two ago or sometimes earlier this year.

Because it turns out that when you need to learn something new, sometimes music can really help. Whether that's listening to music when you're doing your schoolwork or making up a song to help you remember something. Like remember, Ryan, when you first joined Million Bazillion and we wanted to answer the question, why is it so awkward to talk about money?

How could I forget? I asked my close friend, Broadway sensation Lin-Manuel Miranda, if he'd write a song for us about how we as a society don't talk about money. And Lin agreed. Yeah, and I was like, wait, are you friends with Lin-Manuel Miranda? Yeah.

My friend is Lin-Manuel Marimba, different guy. Anyway, we learned that talking about money can be awkward for grownups sometimes because they don't always know what to say and because we have a lot of feelings and expectations for ourselves tied up with money in our own minds.

we learned some ways to overcome that awkwardness because it's actually really important to talk about money. And I got to sing a cool song. Let's pull it up here on this old-timey jukebox. Wow, a jukebox. What your grandparents probably used when they wanted to listen to music out in public. Think of the

of the biggest CD player you've ever seen, then triple that size. Hey, Ryan, does this jukebox actually work? - No, it's completely broken. But let's pretend it does. Get out those lyrics, people. It's time to learn about why it's so awkward to talk about money. Thanks again to Isaac for the question, and hit it. ♪ We don't talk about money ♪ ♪ Adults don't find it funny ♪

We don't talk about income, whether we save it or spend some. If you knew how much I make, it would make both our brains break. Our friendship could not survive it.

So we'll just keep money private. Take it, Bridget. When discussing, money tread lightly. Proceed in a way most lightly. Adult's more nervous than we seem. Money hits at the core of our self-esteem. We worry about it all the time. But we rarely discuss even when it rhymes. I can rap. I can flow. But I can't have a chill finance convo. We don't talk about dinero. My bank balance is zero. Oh, oh, oh. Now I am embarrassed.

Wow, that song brings back golden memories of summer 2022 when Encanto was kind of popular. It sure does. But we learned a lot from that adventure. Remember, we got sucked into a board game and had to figure out the best way to talk about money in a series of challenges to secure our release? Right?

Ryan, what was your favorite tip from that episode? Well, I got two, actually. The first is that you need to pick the right time and place to ask your money questions. And the second is to never trust Bridget to pick out a board game.

Oh, you. But we had fun that day, didn't we? We also learned that you can start money conversations with your grown-ups slow and easy. Just ask them what they think you should know. And we should be patient with our grown-ups. They decide how much information they want to share with you and when. That's why they call me Ryan Patience Perez. That's my middle name, Patience.

Now we'll have more classic million bazillion money music to answer all your money questions when we come back right after this. And now it's time for asking random kids not so random questions. Today's question is, if you had to make a slogan for money, what would it be?

If I had to make a slogan for money, it would be, money, money, you can buy honey and even things like a regular bunny. Money, the stuff you use to buy more stuff. Save a little, spend a little.

Save your money. Save your tummy. Kids eat too much candy. If I had a slogan for money, it would be always spendable, accepted everywhere. That was Arjun in Ohio, Sebastian in Minnesota, Cecilia in Colorado, Benjamin in Texas, and Ashwin in Washington, D.C. This has been asking random kids not so random questions.

We're back. Gee, Bridget, isn't asking random kids not-so-random questions just the best? If you had to come up with a slogan for money, what would yours be? Ryan, that's a great question. I think I'd go with M-O-N-E-Y, just trust in dollars, ain't no lie.

All right. Well, today on Million Bazillion, Bridget and I have gathered around a non-functioning jukebox, taking another listen to some of our favorite Million Bazillion classic oldie songs of yesteryear, years gone by, yesteryear, years, years. Songs that have helped us learn more about money and how it works. That's right. And Songs by the Million Bazillion.

why we have the money we do in the first place. Remember the question we got from Oliver? He wanted to know why different countries use different money. You're right. And that brings us to a beautiful song we once heard performed by the ghost of Alexander Hamilton during our ill-fated attempt to break into the U.S. Treasury. Oh, Ryan, we're not supposed to talk about that, remember?

Yes, and even though the investigation is still technically open, they have no evidence on us, and I think we'd be remiss to not share this song again here. See, the reason the U.S. has their own dollars and coins is because when this country was starting out, the founders realized that if we really wanted to be in charge of our own destiny, we'd need to be in charge of our own money. And that's what this song is about.

When America was starting out, tried to shape its destiny, we didn't want to use the British Pound, so we made our own currency. I wanted that currency centralized through a stable American bank called the First Bank of the United States. And for that bank, you have me to thank. Not everyone was a fan of my plan, including Thomas Jefferson.

He thought the bank would be a monopoly, but eventually my plan won. Then in 1792, the Coinage Act was passed, creating the U.S. dollar, and the dollar caught on fast. With that dollar, we could pay our debts and establish our independence and create a sustainable economy for our eventual descendants. Okay, well, this has been an informative polka, but we should get going.

But wait, I'm not done with the song. Really, I could listen to polka music all day, but Bridget's right, we should scram. Now grab a wad of paper cash and tell me what you see. On the single, you'll see Washington. On the ten spot, you'll see me. Wee! My polka song is almost done. I sang it just for you. With any luck, I'll sing it one day in a huge Broadway review.

I can't wait to sing it one day in a huge Broadway review. Woo! So what do y'all think? Can't you just imagine that song being a huge Broadway hit? Unfortunately, Broadway did not agree with this, but that is what I call music. Doesn't it bring back sweet memories of when you first heard it? A year ago, probably...

In your car, maybe. Memories I'll always cherish. All right, everyone. We're going to take a short break, but when we come back, it's the all-new Million Bazillion music you've been waiting for. If you have to leave your seats during the break, we understand, but you're not going to want to miss part two of this musical extravaganza.

Welcome back to Million Bazillion. Today, we're revisiting some of the answers to your money questions through song with a musical trip down memory lane. The memories are like the notes and the music is like the car and we're traveling back into time again.

We're traveling back through time in a music car. It's like the memory lane are those lines on the sheet music, and then we're encountering little notes along the way, and each of those little notes is a memory. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yes, yes, yes, exactly what you just said. Exactly, exactly what you just said. Before we get to the all-new, never-before-heard Million Bazillion musical song, let's take a moment to remember how much we've learned on this Million Bazillion journey with you all, our listeners.

Whether we're learning it in a book. Literally, the bankruptcy has so many chapters. Or from a middle schooler who started their own black market snack business.

I wonder if that kid ever got out of detention. Hey, remember the time we helped rescue all the gold at Fort Knox? Yeah, and all we got for it in thanks was a gift certificate for some pancakes. And they were great pancakes. But let's get back to the real reason we're here, the music. So far, we've had a good sing about why it can be awkward to talk about money, but we should do it anyway. And we learned a critical historical lesson about why American money exists.

Now, because I know there are probably grown-ups listening, let's turn to a song that's all about important skills. Remember when Caitlin sent us the question about Ponzi schemes, and we learned about those and the other ways that people try to scam us out of our money? Yes, Bridget. It's a funny story. Turns out I once lost millions of dollars in a Ponzi scheme and have never financially recovered, and life has been...

a bit of a struggle ever since. We did a whole episode on it. You can listen to it, actually, now that I think about it. It's not that funny. It's more sad and painful for me. But whatever. What isn't painful is the lyrical stylings of consumer advocate Brenda Hammer, who really breaks it down for us. There's people out there who are not being true. There's people out there who want to scam you. They'll put on a big show and tell you, step right up. Step right up.

Step right up and listen to a promise of great riches. If you've got some money, let me toss you a few pitches. A quick and easy cash secret I can't wait to tell you. And if you fall for that one, well, I've got a bridge to sell you. There's multi-level marketing schemes and scams of confidence. The Spanish Prisoner or the Rich Nigerian Prince. They'll promise easy payouts for a little cash advance. But you better buy it now because this will be your only chance. But they are so full of baloney.

You gotta learn to spot a pony. Like a varietal of Ponzi, that's called a pyramid scheme. It works just like a Ponzi, but you have to form a team of recruits, payday recruits, payday recruits, one layer under. Until it falls apart and dreams of wealth are torn asunder. There are many scams just like it, so it pays to be on guard when he's rarely earned. So easy, it's more often earned quite hard. But it's easier to keep if you don't fall for frauds and cheats. These are lessons Brenda's learned in the parks and in the streets.

When you see a scam, you gotta say wham, bam. No, thank you, ma'am. You gotta slam that. Yeah!

Man, that Brenda Hammer is good. Yes, as the kids these days would say, Brenda's bars are fire. And it's always smart to be a little skeptical if someone promises you something that's too good to be true. Also, never trust a squirrel with your lunch. Bridget, what's your favorite Million Bazillion lesson we've learned through song? Well, you know, Ryan, I think that might be the time Lulu sent us a question about recessions and depressions.

Because sometimes the news, especially when it comes to economic troubles, can feel really scary. And it's good to have a song that reminds us there are people whose job is to keep our economy strong. That's the Federal Reserve. When spending slows to a creepy crawl and the economy's bad, who should you call? Recession crusher. Recession crusher. When recession's knocking at your gate,

And it's time to lower those interest rates. Who should you call? Recession crushers.

Recession Crusher! Interesting fact, that song didn't win a single Grammy, and that's a big problem in my book. Well, it's always in my heart. Who knew the Federal Reserve was staffed with such talented singers? It's economics and lyrics, a winning combination. All right, Bridget, I think it's about time we give the people what they've been waiting for. A simpler tax code?

No, that's going to stay a total mess. I mean, we're going to share a song from the Million Bazillion musical.

Oh, that's right. Okay, see, folks, I want to tell you about Professor Toby Emmert at Agnes Scott College in Decatur, Georgia. So he's studying how you can use music to learn about things like money. And in fact, he wrote a whole musical based on Million Bazillion episodes to help see if those songs taught its audience more about money. Wow. How about that? Now, listeners, I know we've all heard about podcasts that have been turned into TV shows that pay TV money. Not ours, but other shows. But I want to tell you about a podcast called Money.

But how often do you hear about a podcast adapted into a musical? Not often. That's so true. Okay, let's hear one of those songs. This one is called The Dollar Bill Song. If you have a dollar on you, or if your grown-up does, pull it out and follow along. We'll wait a moment for you to get ready. I'm ready. Bridget, I don't have a dollar. What? Okay, here, borrow one from me. This is more fun if you can look at a buck while you're singing. Trust me.

Have you ever looked closely at a U.S. dollar? You'll see solemn George W. there in his collar. He's surrounded by a

oval frame with his name beneath his portrait decreeing his fame. Above his head you'll see these words. The United States of America and Federal Reserve. To his right is a name. To his left is one too. And numbers all around him that give us a clue about where and when the bill was inked. You see, maybe Fort Worth, Texas or Washington, D.C. Flip the bill on its back for another colorful scene. The word one is in the center. Outline

Outlined in green! Two Latin phrases surround a weird pyramid. The apex is an eye with a sleepy lid. The bald eagle is a symbol we all know well. It's no surprise we see one on the dollar bill. It holds arrows in one talon to symbolize war. In the other, there's an olive branch. But wait! There's more!

And his beak is a ribbon with an important note. E pluribus unum. Ever hear of that quote? It means out of many, one. A message about strength, about building a nation together, about being insane. We bet you learned a thing or two from this duller song. So let's review what you heard. Can you sing along? You've got this, Benny. There's Washington with his fancy collar. There are numbers and signatures everywhere.

Do you follow? There's info about where the bill was made. There's a pyramid, an eagle, an eye, no shade. There's the Latin phrase about unity. That's the green backstory. Don't you see? There's Washington with his fancy

There are numbers and signatures. Do you follow? There's info about where the bill was made. There's a pyramid, an eagle, and I'm no shade. There's a Latin phrase about unity. That's the green backstory. Don't you see?

Every greenback tells a story, a little mystery, a small tale about originality. If you look real close, you'll see what I mean. If you look real close, you'll see what we mean. I do. I see exactly what you mean. Oh yeah, I'm going to have that one floating around in my head for a while. Are you going to give me my dollar back?

A dollar. I didn't give you no dollar. No, just kidding. Here it is. Okay, right. It's almost time for us to go. Did you have fun singing along with this one? Of course. I think our listeners did too. And if anyone has an idea for a song they want to hear about money, they should definitely send it to us. Sure thing. Send us a note through our website, marketplace.org slash million.

And if you want to order a collection of these and more Million Bazillion songs on audio cassette for a mere $59.99, payable in monthly installments... Wait, wait, wait, Ryan. We're not selling these songs on cassettes. That's completely impractical. And $59.99 would be way overpriced. Like, maybe you could just remind them that we're part of Public Radio and this is all free, but we do take donations if they really want to show their support.

Okay, fine. Just give what you can. And if you want to listen to any of these songs again, just click play again on this episode because that's free. You can just do that for free. Yeah, that too. All right. Bye, everyone. See you next time. That's it for this episode of Million Bazillion. We hope you had fun singing along. And don't forget to sign up for the Million Bazillion newsletter at marketplace.org slash million for updates about our show and other cool things we're doing. Special thanks again to Toby Emmert at Agnes Scott College for

Thank you.

And Jason Solomon. And the rest of the music was written and performed by me, Ryan Perez, or sometimes Bridget, except when it was performed by other people. Give it up for the Recession Crushers, sung by Drew Jostad, Ponzi Scheme, sung by Francesca Levy, and Hamilton's Polka Ditty, sung by Julian Stern. Million Bazillion is brought to you by Marketplace from American Public Media. The non-singing parts of this episode were written and hosted by Ryan Perez and me, Bridget Bodner.

Jasmine Romero is our editor. Courtney Bergseeker is our producer. Marissa Cabrera is our senior producer. This episode had additional voicing by Chris Julin, and it was sound designed and mixed by Becca Weinman. Our theme music was created by Wunderly. Bridget Bodner is the director of podcasts at Marketplace. Francesca Levy is the executive director of digital. Neil Scarborough is the VP and general manager. Million Bazillion is funded in

part by the Cy Sims Foundation, partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985. And special thanks to the Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and NextGen Personal Finance for providing the startup funding for this podcast and continuing to support Marketplace in our work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy.

If Million Bazillion is helping your family have important conversations about money, consider making a one-time donation today at marketplace.org slash givemillion. And thanks for your support.

Oh, man. Oh, Ryan, that was a lot of fun. But we didn't get to your favorite Million Bazillion song. Honestly, remember that time my feelings elf encouraged me to buy a whole bunch of stuff I didn't need because it felt so good? Totally. We built a whole box fort haunted house with all the boxes from your many, many purchases. And we charged the neighborhood kids 50 cents a pop to go through. It was a real success story. Well, there's one song I can't get out of my head, mostly because Dolores keeps playing it back whenever she feels like I'm not paying enough attention to her. Oh,

What the heck? Let's play it here. Sort of like when they used to put a little bonus track at the end of a CD. That's what this is, was a little bonus track.

Money, money, spend, spend, spend. Will this feeling ever end? Let's stay in here another hour. Flexing all our buying power. Every time you hear that ding, I'll do my job. You won't feel a thing except a thrill every time you run your card at the checkout line. A designer sweater for my cat. A wolfie neck. Could he go for that? Gibbets charms for my shoes. Available in packs of twos. Plastic SPF 30. I think I'll buy a pack of...

In the mall like uptown ladies, dropping cash like it's the 80s, spending it all on me, me, me. I feel like a bonfire at Vanity in the shopping mall, my emotions steady. Uh-oh, shoe store, are we ready? Do you have anything in a flat? Cause if you do, I'll just take that. Don't need to make this all about me, just need to get from A to B. Bridget, why not spring for a heel?

For heels, spending gives you happy feels. New Air Gordons, that's my shoe. I think they look good on you. That cashier says I'm a real cool guy. She must mean it. Why would she lie? I'll take 20 of those shoes. I mean, 20 pairs, so 40 shoes. I used to be sad, but it went away when I bought this lilac body spray.

My eye! Oh, sorry, sorry. Why did you spray that on my face? I just wanted to spray a little so you could smell it. I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Yeah, fine. Just don't spray deodorant in people's faces. I'll just ring you up. Did you guys like the bonus track at the end of the show? Here's another bonus track. Just kidding. That's it. No more bonus. Show's over.

Is there a teen in your life who needs a little extra help learning how to manage their finances? Financially Inclined from Marketplace is a podcast you can trust to help Gen Z get serious about money.

I'm the host, Janelia Espinal, and each week I talk to experts about essential and practical personal finance topics, like choosing a college that you can actually afford, finding internship opportunities, and how to start a business while you're still young. Let's make sure the next generation gets these financial lessons sooner than we did. Listen to Financially Inclined wherever you get your podcasts.