TROIAN BELLISARIO — on dating Patrick J. Adams long distance while on hit shows and having her second child in a parking garage
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My dive buddy just kind of started like whacking me underwater and then he didn't know how to tell me that there's a shark so he's trying to scream shark and then eventually he just went with singing the Jaws theme tune.

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Today on the show, you know her from Pretty Little Liars and her latest Amazon Prime series, On Call. It's Troy and Bellisario. I started anamorphic into a full feral animal in the front seat of the car. Yeah, howling. Yeah, because you were giving birth. Because I was giving birth. This is Dinners on Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

The hair and makeup team is the heartbeat of almost every television and film set. It's the first stop for the actors, usually at a painfully early hour of the morning, where we roll out of bed and into the chair to be transformed. It's also where some of the best conversations happen in the hair and makeup trailer.

One of my favorite parts of any workday is settling into that chair, coffee in hand, mask patches under my eyes, and more often than not, red dye in my beard. Yes, without a little maintenance, my red beard is actually pretty gray.

Some of my most memorable chats happened in the Modern Family hair and makeup trailer, surrounded by the talented cast that I love so much. I remember one morning, in particular, listening to Sofia Vergara, Sarah Hyland, and Eric Stonestreet passionately dissect the latest episode of their new favorite show, Pretty Little Liars. They were obsessed, insisting that I had to start watching immediately. But I didn't.

But for whatever reason, I never did. There's only so much TV one can fit into a week, and my plate was already very full with RuPaul's Drag Race, Raising Hope, The Walking Dead, and Downton Abbey.

Flash forward more than a decade, and I finally watched the pilot of Pretty Little Liars, but only because I became friends with one of its stars, Troian Bellisario. Our paths crossed thanks to her husband, Patrick Adams, my co-star in the Broadway revival of Take Me Out. Patrick was also a guest on Dinners on Me a few months ago, giving us the rare chance to have bookended conversations with a couple I greatly admire.

Though Troian and I have spent countless hours together in group settings, we've never had one-on-one time until now. And I was so thrilled to take her out for a meal, chat about her Amazon Prime show on call, and finally confess just how late I was to discovering the show that launched her career, Pretty Little Liars. Which side am I coming to? You're going to the front. Hello. Hello.

I brought Troy and Belisario to Lupiat Kitchen in Los Feliz. It's in its fifth year serving the neighborhood, and the cafe is run by local filmmakers Ben Proudfoot, Brandon Sommerhalder, and David Bolin, who also collaborate next door at the Oscar-winning Breakwater Studios.

Lupiet Kitchen feels like a little Parisian escape with cozy tables, warm lighting, and the kind of atmosphere that makes you want to linger over a latte and some of their beloved soft scrambled eggs. It's got this charming French vibe and it's right in her neighborhood. I thought, why not break bread with Troian over a little slice of Paris in her own backyard? Okay, let's get to the conversation. Are you on a press tour today? I was this morning. I was on KCAL TV and I had these...

really big, like, diamond-y earrings. And I was like, I'm gonna take these off. And right before I left, I was like, I can't take these off. And I was kind of doing that, like, panic thing. Why? What do you mean you can't take them off? I couldn't figure out how to take them off. Oh. There were safety buttons. Wait, now, why would...

Oh, I was going to say, how would you get stuck in earrings? Exactly. Why would you ever get stuck in earrings? That's the dumbest thing in the world. Do they really like... There's like a safety release, but you can't see it behind your earlobe. Because if it's a diamond, you don't want it to fall out. Yes, exactly. And I just never had fancy enough earrings that they have their own safety release button. That's hilarious. Yeah. So, first time for me. You deserve those earrings. Jane Lynch, one year when she was hosting the Emmys...

We're walking out with her and I was like, you did so incredible. And she was like really distracted. She's like, I'm just really upset right now. I was like, why you did incredible? She's like, no, I lost a pair of like million dollar earrings that were put on her. And like, she was nervous about like, yeah. Owing money. Yeah. Can you imagine? I mean, that's terrifying. Every time that they've like put,

put something on me and they're like, by the way, this has its own security guard. And you're like, what? Why are you giving it to me? Don't. Don't. Please don't put this on me. Plus, I like to roll so, like, I like the lowest profile. Like, I don't want to roll with anyone. I barely want to go anywhere with Justin. So I don't want a security guard, like, following me too. Yeah, totally. Or just following, like, your wrist around for the cufflinks. Exactly. That's really all they care about.

I've never worn anything that expensive that's required one, but I've been tempted to. I mean, always. I'm starving. So, I am starving as well. Because I just did a Pilates class. Oh, yeah. Well, then let's get some food in you. So, I'm starved. I'm starved.

Let's see. I mean, I'm definitely doing something with eggs. I have to. Sorry. Oh, remember, hit your spot, hit your mark. Oh, hi. So have you guys dined with us before? Yes, we have, but a long time ago. Excellent, all right, well, welcome back. Some new, exciting adjustments to the menu. So give it a look, see if you have any questions, let me know. I definitely want some coffee, but I also want something refreshing and bubbly.

Is your lemonade sparkling? It's not. It's actually homemade. I'll do it. Squeeze it on the premises. I'm going to squeeze lemonade and I'm also going to have some sparkling water as well. All right. I'll do the same thing and maybe we can make it sparkling. Great. So two lemonades and a big sparkling water for you guys? Sure, yeah. I'll be right back with that. Thank you. I'm going to have to know what that cake of the day is too. Okay, so what are you thinking of getting? I think I might go with

I do love a club sandwich, but the quiche is sounding really good too. I'm happy to get the quiche if you want a bite of the quiche. I just want a bite of it. Yes. Okay. Then you get it. I'm going to do the club.

Yeah, I was thinking we never have had quality time together. So this is finally. It's very, very exciting. Last time I saw you, I did not get any quality time with you because it was at your incredible Boxing Day party. Oh my God. Thank you so much for coming to that and enduring the madness. So last year we came and we had to leave before...

White Elephant. The game, yes. The game. So I wasn't prepared for how insane your White Elephant gets. You weren't. So to explain White Elephant, it's like everyone brings a wrapped gift, usually under like... Under $20 or $30 or something. And what I always...

seem to remember is that it's usually like something ridiculous that you want to get rid of. But with your group, it was really great stuff. Well, when we decided to throw a Boxing Day party, I think the first year was last year. We were like, well, let's do a white elephant. Both of us were like, what is a white elephant? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look up the rules. Yeah. So we had to look up the rules. And so

so that everybody kind of comes with their own idea, which is sometimes you want to do a total joke, and then other people will bring very, very nice things. Your gifts were lovely. A Taylor Swift sweater. Yes, which was a very, very desired item. Yeah, the person who won that item left the room so it couldn't be stolen.

a little bit dodgy, I will say. She fully went missing, which is totally inappropriate because there were like several young girls in that room as well that just totally got shafted. Yeah, that's right. There was children playing and adults playing and the person that won the Taylor Swift sweater was an adult. Firmly an adult. And then just ghosted. Yeah, she was like, oh no. People were sort of saying like, where is that Taylor Swift sweater? I'd like to maybe steal it.

Yeah. Because it's part of the game. You can steal gifts for a little while until they get locked. You're supposed to steal gifts. You're supposed to, right. And then the other big ticket item was the chicken purse, which did get called back into the room. Yes, that's right. I brought the chicken purse as well. You did? Yeah, that was my gift as well. These are amazing gifts. Yeah, yeah. It was so fun, but I did not get to see you at all that night. So this is making me happy to see you. I'm very, very excited. Yeah.

I know you are promoting your new show. Have you seen On Call? Have you seen all eight episodes? I have, yes. What do you think? I mean, this is a... It's a cop show. It's Dick Wolf. It's Dick Wolf, but it's... Who's like the king of... He's the king of procedurals. But it's 30 minutes only. Oh. Yeah, it's a half hour drama. And it's kind of like...

procedural, you gotta solve the case by the end of the episode, and this one is really just about two cops kind of going from call to call to call, and there are long-standing through lines of the characters that there's one major thing that happens that some of the crimes have to do with, but it's not like we close an episode and have solved a crime. We can't solve crime. We're beat cops. So

So it's a little bit more of like an episodic, like character driven thing, which is really out of the box for Dick Wolf Productions. For sure, yeah. It's crazy. It's so fast paced and it's,

a huge change for me. Yeah, totally different. Totally different. I mean, did you have to, I mean, from what I watch, I mean, you're, you know, you're using firearms and, you know, you're running around in, like, bulletproof vests and, I mean, was there training that was involved? Yeah, but it was super fast, even though it was bizarre because it was, like, we were cast, we were up and shooting, like, two,

two weeks later, maybe a week and a half. So we got training in there as best we could. And then we were kind of doing, you know, trial by fire. Like, do you remember what to say? Do you remember how to stand? So it was...

It was a really wonderful experience, and it was just also so new for me to be, A, playing somebody my age. I know, I want to talk about that. Yeah, that was a big change. And playing somebody that's totally, like Pretty Little Liars was entirely glam. You know, it was all about the makeup, all about the clothes, all about the hair, and the drama within that container. And this was like, you know,

they do not give a shit about. All right, are we ready to order some food to start with? Yes. Yes. Do you want to go first? Yeah, sure. I'm going to do the Le Club, please. Excellent choice.

I'm going to do the vegetarian quiche du jour. Okay. The spinach and goat cheese one. Absolutely. It also comes with some zucchini, if that's okay. That's great. Fantastic. I'll put those in. You want to hold on to the menus? Yes, please. Before I talk about Pretty Little Liars, I want to... Your dad was also heavily involved in, like...

Magnum P.I. was it? Mm-hmm. Was he the, what capacity was? So he was, so for Magnum P.I., for Airwolf, Quantum Leap, NCIS, JAG, this other show that was first lived, short lived, it called First Monday. Like all of those shows were his creations. Wow. Wrote, produced, directed.

directed some episodes, but yeah, created. So like when we're talking about your dad and someone like Dick Wolf, like they're of this kind of, do they know each other? Were they competitors? So I asked my dad about this because they are like neighbors in Montecito. And it is sort of hilarious because I, so Elliot Wolf is one of our executive producers, our writers, and our showrunners of On Call. So Elliot being Dick's son-

I like have sat down with him and I'm like, can we talk about our dads and like just compare childhoods? And they do know each other. They have like past, like they've not really ever had like a sit down meeting, but there are a lot of like bizarro Venn diagram things that we found. I mean, both of them created massive shows in kind of similar genres, but

At similar times. Totally. I mean... I mean, like, 80s TV... Yeah. Like, dominate. Can I pour you some of this? Oh, yes, thank you. I think it's really fascinating. It is really weird. But, like, for my dad, it's... Because he's always been working on so many things. Like, I'll... I remember...

When I was first on Pretty Little Liars and I was like living at my dad's house because I had just graduated college. So I didn't really have enough money to like move out on my own. Yeah. So I was like living in my childhood bedroom for the first season. Are you serious? Oh my God, I love that.

Until I moved in with Patrick, thank God. Yeah, yeah. I moved in with Patrick. But there were some moments when I would like leave my childhood bedroom to go to set. To play a teenager. To play a teenager. And I would come home and have dinner with my dad. And he was like, how was set today? And like we would compare it when I told him. I was like, oh, he would ask me what the Nielsen rating for the show was. He'd be like, so what's your rating? Like what's going on? And I would tell him and he's like, okay.

That's good. And then he would like look up his Nielsen rating. I was like, this is, I have to get out of here. That is bonkers. Yeah, it was pretty bonkers. It's so funny because like, I mean, as an artist, I never want to know that stuff, but sometimes it would get thrown in my face. Like people would be talking about ratings. But to like go home and have a parent who literally is part of that world as an executive and as a showrunner and a creator, like,

I mean, that's gotta be so wild. Your parents were both pretty protective of you. Yeah. Like, you know, you had to earn your way in.

Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, his big thing, both him and my mother were, I wasn't allowed. So your mother was an actress? Yes. My mother was primarily an actress. And then when she had me and then she came on and started creating Quantum Leap with my dad, they were co-creators and writers. And then she kind of moved over more into the writing, directing, producing side. But their big thing for me was you are not allowed to leave school.

And you're not allowed to you have to graduate college before you can do any of this. So it was really like wonderful. I got to go on a few auditions and do a few things when I was younger, but I was never allowed to like take a series or even audition for something like that. So it wasn't until I fully graduated college that they were like, great, join the workforce, like out there. So that was really cool.

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Torian talks to me about what it was like to play a teenager alongside actual teenagers in Pretty Little Liars and how she and now-husband Patrick J. Adams managed the early days of their relationship while working in different countries. Okay, be right back.

This episode of Dinners on Me is brought to you by Nissan. These days, it feels like the world and our lives are moving at hyperspeed. I mean, that's why I love doing this podcast. It's a chance to slow down, to truly connect with another human being, and to enjoy the feeling of actually being in the present moment.

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Now, you know I love a good brunch, whether it's a laid-back Sunday with my husband Justin and the kids or a full-on feast with a bunch of my friends. I just love it. And when it comes to putting together the perfect spread, Whole Foods Market is my go-to. They've got everything you need to make your brunch extra special. Smoked salmon? Check. Buttery flaky quiche? You bet. And don't even get me started on the fresh berries. I said don't. Seriously, don't get me started on them. Oh, you already did. Okay.

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And we're back with more Dinners on Me. Well, it's interesting because, you know, you were just saying, you, with Pretty Little Liars, you were working with people who were substantially younger than you. Yes. But you had already had the experience of going to school. And I know Sasha, tell me how to say her last name again. Sasha Peterson. Say her last name? Peterson. Is it Peterson? Peterson. Yeah.

Sorry, it is so- In my head, it's like a French name. You said Pieterse. I was like, what? Pieterse. It's very difficult to pronounce. Pieterse. Pieterse. Now I feel like I'm saying it wrong. No.

I'm so sorry, Sasha. No, you're saying it right. I think it's Peterson. Peterson. Sasha. Yeah, yeah. She's going to call me after this and be like, Pierre, what's up? Well, no, I worked with her. She's so lovely. She's the best. We did a movie called Ivy and Bean together. I didn't actually get to have any scenes with her, but I met her on set. She's so lovely. And the first thing she said to me when she met me, she's like, I'm really good friends with Troyan. She is. She's the best. But when she started...

When you started the show, she was over a decade younger than you and you guys were playing contemporaries. It's crazy. That is wild to me. It is wild. And we, she, she was lying at the time. So she told me, cause I was 23. I just turned 24. Maybe. Yeah. And she had said that she was,

14. And how old were the characters? We were 16 and we would do flashbacks to 15 or something. Okay, got it. Or no, maybe we started at 15, flashbacks to 14, then it would like go from there. And it turned out she was 11 and a half. Oh, wow.

Yeah. My God. That bitch. I didn't know. And so at the table read, I knew she was, I thought she was 14. Actually, the table read, I didn't know. I thought she was in her 20s. What? Yep. Oh my God. Talk about versatility. She was insane. Cause she was just so like...

mature and the way she carried herself. So anyways, I told her in the bathroom after we did the first table read, I was like, God, it was so crazy. You like brought me back to the mean girls in eighth grade. And she was like, no, thanks. And I didn't realize she was yet to be. She's just wild. That is unbelievable to me. Yeah. Had you already met Patrick by the time you started? So you were like in a serious relationship. Well,

Yeah, ish. I mean, as serious as you can be when you're like 23. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 27 or something. Well, it turned out to be pretty serious. It turned out to be pretty serious. I mean, you're still married with two kids. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you're in such a different place. But I was in such, especially because the first year Patrick and I were trying to working out whether or not we were in a relationship, this, and then he got suits. And then it was like the first year of him being in suits and me being on the second year of PLL, we were pretty much in a solid committed long distance relationship. So I would shoot PLL and like on,

On Friday night or Saturday morning after we worked a Friday, get on a flight to go see him. Watch the sun come up on Warner Brothers. I had never heard that term. The people who told me about it, because we never had. You never had a Friday, did you? The people who told me about Friday's was the cast of Glee.

Because we were all at the same time and they were like, have you guys, do you ever have fratter days? I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about. But like that's when you work. You're called at like the afternoon on a Friday and you work until Saturday morning. I was like, are you kidding me? I can't believe. I mean, of course on your show, like you wouldn't, well, you have kids on the show and like you don't need to because you were working those amazing hours. Yeah, we worked great hours. So you were working really, really hard on that show.

Yeah, I learned from Pretty Little Liars, which is stupid because now I'm on another show which shoots mainly at night. But like, I was like, never take a vampire show and never take a teen mystery show because you are always working at night on a Friday. Yeah, it's so true. That's so true. I am fascinated to talk to you about that because, you know, Patrick, you know, he talked a lot about those seven years. It's one thing to like,

have a long distance relationship. It's another thing to do it as actors. It's another thing to do it while you're working and both have steady jobs. I mean, it's sort of a testament to how much I think probably

work you put into it, but, you know, commitment to one another. Because you're also still getting to know each other at this time. Oh, totally. I mean, I just, I find it really, because I was looking at the timeline of your relationship. It's like, oh, you guys were together for a long time before you got married. It's like, that's because you were working and having a long-distance relationship. Totally. We always used to joke that, like, the number of in-room hours is real low. Like, we're basically just dating. Yeah. And sometimes, you know, what we came to

give ourselves the permission to do is like sometimes you would see each other and just have a fight. Like that was the, you know, I, you always imagine when you're in a long distance relationship, like we're going to have this incredible weekend together and it's going to be romantic top to bottom. And you're going to have sex in every room and you're only going to eat the finest of food. And it's like, I would land, we'd both be exhausted. We'd immediately pick a fight with each other. And then it was like, then we were just,

Like, well, what do we do now? You know, like, I guess we go eat, you know? And then slowly you'd, like, make up and you'd be like, oh, my God, I really love this person. And then...

And you go on a plane. Yeah. Do you ever feel like when you come back, like there's almost like a getting to know you process again? For sure. It's not, I've always found that was so bizarre. Like, I guess. Yes. Yeah. We call it the re-entry period. Yeah. You know, cause you are, well, you've been living apart. So you've been living on your own and you form your own habits. Like when he comes home from shooting on location, he's like,

Does he take his coffee the same way? Maybe I've gotten used to waking up and going for a run, and all of a sudden there's somebody in my bed that I want to spend time with, but I'm like, well, this is what I do. And that's really hard to navigate with the kids. Yeah. Can I ask you, when you go do, because I haven't done theater since our kids were born, and you obviously have done a lot. What's it like?

doing theater when kids, because like, it's just so weird. Actually, I have friends. They're just like, I can't believe we were maniacs that were like doing theater until 11 p.m. Troyan, when eight o'clock comes and like, I know people are getting on stage and I'm getting into bed. I'm like, how? How do you do that? I'm about to do two plays next year. I don't know how I'm going to do it. What happens to your schedule? Like, it's everything's upended. Um,

I mean, being on stage and that process of getting to be on stage, just that rehearsal process is so demanding that it really does leach out any energy you have. And it's really hard. Yeah.

It's why I'm grateful that there are short runs with theater. Yes. And that it's just something that you put your head down and I love doing it so much. I make it work. And also the payoff of like then getting to have the days free with my kids is so wonderful. That is awesome.

And, you know, also I got to bring Beckett to the theater and like he got to stand on a Broadway stage and like ask questions about, you know, all the props. And that was so exciting for him. That's so cool. You were just talking about theater. Was the last thing that you did on stage the play that you met Patrick in or –

No, it was actually hilariously another play that I was with Patrick in. But that was the last thing I did on stage, which was a play called The Last Match. It was like the tennis play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He told me about this. Yeah, that's where he had his infamous panic attack.

Yeah, so I had just graduated college. He had, you know, we'd both just gone to USC, but we didn't know each other at USC. Okay. And we met, started falling in love with each other, and then I had to leave that show to go shoot the pilot of Pretty Little Liars. And so I was really devastated because I actually thought, I was like falling in love with this guy. And I was like, oh, fuck. And I was falling in love with the show, and I really wanted to do theater. And so...

It was kind of an amazing thing to me when I came back and we started a relationship. It was really surprising to me, very exciting for me. And then later when we did the last match, that was when he had his first.

Panic attack. How long had you, so you'd been together for? Oh my God. We just had our anniversary. Hold on. It's eight years married, 15 years together. Oh wow. Again, in the room. Yeah. Three tops. Exactly. We're such young lovers. The track record's incredible. In the room. Yeah. Honeymoon phase. What was your reaction? Were you, did you know that something was going on with him when that happened? Yeah.

So it was really, I wish that I had, when I look back on the first time it happened, because he says to me, I don't know if you remember in the conversation you had with him, he started having it on stage and then I came on to do maybe our first scene together. And he said he remembered like with his eyes, like begging me to stop the show or just begging me to do something. But I'm in a scene with him. Like I don't know. And I remember in the scene,

I think I'm like telling him that I'm pregnant and like all of this. So there's like a lot of emotions for me. And I just like walk off the stage and then I'm like going on with the play. And it wasn't until I think intermission that he came back and he was like, did you not see that I was like dripping sweat and I am dying up here? And I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. And it was...

It was horrible because it's not even like you're dealing with somebody who's dealing with an injury, you know, and you can have sympathy, but you can't have empathy because you're not in the panic with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so when they're going through something, whether it's, thank you, perfect timing for veggie quiche. Yeah, right. When they're going through something, veggie quiche. Oh, thank you. Not right now, thanks. Oh, thanks. Just so you clip this. Oh, there's some. Yeah. Do you have any? Yeah.

Yeah, it's... It's like, how do you tell them you're going to be okay? Because they literally, they feel like they're having a heart attack. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can't tell someone not to panic. It's like telling someone not to be depressed or not to be angry. Like, you can't deny their feeling. You can just sit with them and say, I'm here. And the other thing that I will say is, like, I think because...

I don't know how you and Justin do this, but, like, I have a very, like, sympathetic nervous system. Yes. Do you do that, too? And so I'll notice, like, if Patrick will come into a room and he's anxious, I suddenly am like, oh, why do I want to throw up? Like, it's just, like, immediate... Same. Yeah, so it can be... I'm so tied into that. So tied in, and so it's painful, but you don't know how to help them move through it. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I think that's just part of why, you know, if...

people find each other who have that connection. Marriage can be such a wonderful thing. Or just any sort of partnership. Because you have that person who can really intuitively just know. Yeah. You must have been... Not to talk about Patrick. We're going to stop talking about Patrick after this, by the way. But you must have been so proud of him to see him conquer that fear and stand on stage on Broadway...

doing a play that not only required nudity, but like direct address to an audience. Direct address. Opening the play. And also being brilliant in it. It was so like I could...

like a cry talking about it. Because when he was telling me about all of these things, all of the panic and the anxiety, and he was genuinely afraid. What if I never can do theater? And so to watch him up there was the most incredible thing. Because like you said,

When he's having a panic moment, it doesn't. You don't know. You don't know. That's why I'm so glad to hear that you were like literally looking at his eyes because I had no scenes with him. Yeah. Until the very end of the play. So I would always just watch him on the monitor backstage, which was a grainy television set from like 1972. But to actually be on stage and not even know. No. And, you know, you're obviously very at that point in time, you were very connected to him and.

So I'm glad to know that I'm not crazy and thinking that he was hiding it incredibly well. Incredibly well. You know, there's a whole storm going on, you know. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Troian tells me she too feels like an imposter sometimes, a health hazard on the set of Pretty Little Liars, and a labor story that truly seems right out of a movie. Okay, be right back.

Hi, it's Jesse Tyler Ferguson, the host of the podcast Dinners on Me. Spring is here, and you know what that means. Longer days, backyard hangs, and of course, firing up the grill. And when I'm planning a get-together, Whole Foods Market is my secret weapon for making it both fresh and effortless. Let's start with light or fair because, you know, sometimes you want something crisp and bright after those rich winter meals. But when I'm planning a get-together,

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anxiety as well. And that must be something you two have connected on. I mean, something that Patrick and I talk about a lot is imposter syndrome. And I was surprised to hear that you also feel like you, you know, suffer from that as well, because I feel like you do everything really well. And you throw yourself at so many things. I mean, I appreciate that, but I wonder if that's like a part of it, you know, that kind of feeling of

never rest. Like, never sit back and take it for granted. Like, I...

Yeah, every day. On this, too, like on On Call, I would show up every day and do every take. And afterwards, I was like, okay, they're coming over, and they're not just going to give me a note. They're going to tell me, like, this was a horrible mistake, and I don't know what you think you're doing here, but this isn't working. You also, I mean, I'm about to, well, I've been asked to direct a feature film. You have? In the fall. What? Yeah. I'm having a hard time, like, fully embracing it because I know, like, a million things could happen. But...

I've been thinking about you a lot because I feel like you switch roles so effortlessly. Like, you've written so many great things. You've directed so many great things. You've acted in the things that you've directed and written. Like, I want to know, like, where did that confidence come from? Or is that just all, like, fake it until you make it?

Definitely a lot of that. But a lot of it mostly came from my parents, from my dad particularly. When he was telling me about, you know, I don't know if you're going to have a career in acting. He was like, so you need to have...

you know, all of these other backup plans and you need to know how to do lots of other things. I had, I mean, I had a really wonderful director on Pretty Little Liars who was primarily an actor and then she transferred into being a director and she was like real honest with me. She was like, "You're young now, you won't be young forever. And sometimes when you're not so young, it's harder to get in front of the camera." So she was like, "Learn how to do this."

And that really stayed with me in terms of just like be able to do everything because like we talked about earlier, it's very, very lucky to get to go from job to job to job. And sometimes in my experience, my career,

I've had to make most of my jobs happen. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So that's why for me, the writing, the directing, that's all kind of come out of a, I want to work and I know it's statistically not going to always be in front of the camera. There's just so many days I remember showing up to work on Modern Family and I'd be like, they'd be,

I know the scene is really complicated. There's like a million people involved and like we'd be blocking it. I would just be thinking, I am so glad I'm not in charge of having to direct all this. And now I'm like, I'm going to be that person. And I'm excited by that challenge and terribly nervous. I have a lot of imposter syndrome because I've also never directed anything before.

At least not on that level. Here's my advice to you. Please. Okay. Acting, it's gonna be great. You will be great talking to actors because you understand what they're going through. You will have endless amounts of sympathy. You just walk in and you get to be like purely intellectually creative. So that's really freeing. Yeah.

The thing that I learned, and this is only from doing a short film, directing a short film versus the episodes of television that I've directed, the buck stops with you and it starts with you. And that is overwhelming. It's like, I think, what was that? Was it Nine? That musical that Daniel Day-Lewis was in? Yeah, right. And Judi Dench is like, she's like, what is it being a director? It's saying, yes, this, no, this. Yes, this, no, this. Yes, you know? And I think about that a lot because...

you have to know, you have to have an answer. It doesn't matter if it's the right answer or if it's a good answer, but you have to have an answer for everything. - Yeah. - And everybody's gonna turn to you. And I remember the first time I was shooting my short film, which was like, literally we shot it in our house. It was like me and five other people. It couldn't have been more low stress. And somebody like turned to me and asked me a question about a shirt. Like, should it be red or blue?

And they were like, well, what's your color palette? And I was like, my what? Like, I just hadn't thought about it because I'd always had a wardrobe department that was working on their own kind of like, you know what I mean? Like, well, it's got to be blue because this is her palette and this is. Sure. And I just hadn't thought about that at all. And so I constantly was kind of like overwhelmed by all of the possibilities of like, you haven't thought about this. So I would say like, just get in the habit of.

really getting in everybody's business. Yeah. Get with all of your keys and like no question is too small. No idea is too silly. You know, to be like, I really love this texture for this character. Like it all feeds your ideas. Yeah. And that's what you have to do as a director. That's great advice. Now, I'm excited. I'll let you know

I want to hear more about this when you are ready to share. You know, I just want to mention one thing that I wanted to say earlier. You know, when I first heard about Pretty Little Liars, it was in the hair and makeup trailer of Modern Family.

Because Eric Stone Street and Sofia Vergara were obsessed with it. No, they weren't. Yes, they were. They came in and they would like talk about it nonstop. And Eric was like, you have got to watch the show. You've got to watch the show. And I don't know why I never got around to watching it, but I started watching it.

I guess after I met you and like I... What? Yeah, so I was late to the game. I haven't gotten, I haven't finished it. I don't expect you to. There are spoiler alerts that I've learned about just from doing the research. That I'm like, this show, I got thrown into the... I was like, you have an evil twin? Bananas. She's British, by the way. She's British. I was like, I am definitely got to catch up because like this is, there's so many things that I feel like...

I know too much now. I have to see how it all comes together. It's like someone gave me all the ingredients. I was like, that can't make a pie. Yeah, you were like, this is insane. And they're like, no, it does. It's going to make a pie. I'm like, okay, I got to see how this pie has made. Yeah, it's really wild. There are genuinely plot twists that I'm sure if you told me about, I would be like, I don't remember that happening. How did that happen? That's so funny. Because it was so circuitous, Scooby-Doo, you know what I mean? Like it was, everybody was a bad guy at one point.

It's such a wild time capsule for me, you know? And every time I do see a little bit, I really have not rewatched any of it, but I'll often see pictures on social media and I'm just like, that's insane. Because along with each one of those pictures, and I'm sure you do this with Modern Family, you have a vivid memory of what it was like to shoot that day. Maybe what even was going on in your personal life. And some pictures you're like, I don't remember that day at all. Yes.

Oh, yeah. Zero recollection. Like, what was I doing? I remember just feeling, did you have this? Because you guys shot a lot of the same sets, right? Yep. I mean, did you have that feeling that your home was like your home? Yes, yeah. I mean, I slept on every surface of Spencer's, like, kitchen, living room, bedroom. Like, the number of naps I actually took in Spencer's bed was...

Oh, I have to have Raul coming on the show soon, so I'm going to have to remind him about this. But he, and on his set, he would hide things in cabinets and then forget about them. And then like literally 11 years later, he would open up a cabinet and there'd be like a moldy cup of like, he's like, oh, I remember putting that there like back in season two. Like a fully moldy coffee cup. No!

Just like artifacts. Yes, artifacts. Yeah, we had, hilariously for that, there was a jar of granola on Spencer's counter from season one until season seven. And our running joke was like, when we wrap, somebody's going to have to eat that. And we got the pot up to like,

I think nobody would go because nobody actually wanted to. So I think we got it for like $300, but nobody would take it. Yeah, it's basically mummified granola. I also, can we please touch on

The insane way that Elliot, your second, came into this world. Oh, sure. Yeah, it's still insane. It's still insane. I cannot wait till she's old enough for you to tell it to her. Well, she, I mean, she has heard the story. She does not compute the story. Of course not. No, but if you tell her, you say, Elliot, where were you born? She says, in the car. Yeah.

In that car. But what's crazy to me is that Patrick was away working. Yes. I mean, it seems, and I feel like when you were telling me this the first time, that you were really like, your body was like, not yet, not yet, not yet. Yeah. I'm going to wait until Patrick gets back. So the first time when I was pregnant with Aurora, and I guess this happens with a lot of women, the first time is like, she was fully a week late.

And so I had the experience of poor, you know, poor Patrick who had never become a dad before. He stared at me for seven days like I was a goddamn bomb. And I was like, you got to stop looking at me. Like it was like every time we would like go out to eat and he was like, this might be our last meal as children. And I was like, you have to stop. Like I can't handle this. It was just so much pressure.

And then, so when the second time around with Elliot, he was going to take a job. And the weird thing about the jobs during COVID, especially because it was a job in Canada, was that you had to do that 10-day quarantine. And then if you left, so let's say I went into labor early and he was like, I'm getting on a flight.

- You have to re-quarantine. - You literally would have to re-quarantine and he was doing it, it was a very small film and so he would not have, he would have completely blown their film. They didn't have the budget to extend for that time. So it was kind of one of those things where it was like a big risk for the film. And we were talking to my OBGYN and he was like, "Okay, so when does Patrick come back?" And I was like, "Four days before my due date."

And he was like, uh-huh. And I was like, yeah, but Aurora was so late. Like, I'm probably going to be late again. And did you have a discussion with Patrick? Like, you might miss the births.

Or was that, like, not even talked about? It was never even, like, acknowledged. Okay. Because he was like, should I not do this? And I was like, no, you're not going to miss the birth. I think I just straight up willed it. Like, that's a very me thing to do. I'm just like, it's not happening. You're going to make it back, and it'll be fine. Yeah. It was the week before her due date, and it's, like, three days before he's supposed to come home, and I start having...

I think they're Braxton Hicks contractions, which are practice contractions, basically. So I'm just like laying in bed at night and it's me and Aurora. Aurora's two at the time. And my mom was supposed to come over once Patrick came home so that if I needed to go to the hospital, she could watch Aurora. And...

And Patrick was like, "Do you think maybe your mom should come over?" And I was like, "Nope, totally fine, 'cause I don't need to go to the hospital anytime soon." And he was like, "Oh, whatever you say, babe." And as the days got closer,

I realized that I was just, I think, like willing Elliot to stay inside my body. I was just like, this is not happening. And then he landed at, he landed at like, I don't know, 10 or something, crawled into bed at midnight exactly and hugged me and passed out. And then I went into labor four hours later. Wow. Yeah.

Because I, I mean, I'm sure the, whatever it was, you know, the oxytocin or like whatever it was that I, from that hug, just knowing like I'm safe. Yeah. It's okay now. I don't have to keep waiting. Your body releases a little bit. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, so... And then it was a mad dash. It wasn't quite a mad dash because, again, I was still very stubborn. I crawled into the bathroom and I remember he kind of woke up at 4.30 and was like, where are you doing? And I was like, don't worry about it. And I went into the bathroom and I just sat in the shower for two hours, maybe. Sat in the shower and I was...

pretty much fully in labor, but with Aurora, it had been 27 hours. And so I told Patrick, I was like, "You just got home. We know it's gonna be a day. So, like, just get some sleep and I'll be fine."

And then at around 6:30, I was like, "Okay, yeah, we should definitely go to the hospital." And so we get in the car, we were calling our doula, calling our doctor, and he was like, "Here she is, she's on speakerphone." And I was moaning. And they were like, "Yup, she's in labor, can't wait to see you." And we were like, "What's the birth plan?" He was like, "What do you wanna do?"

And the one thing that I remember saying was I said, I just want either you or me to catch the baby. We didn't know at the time whether it was a boy or a girl. We just wanted to be surprised. And he was like, do what now? And I was like, I can either pull the baby up or you can catch the baby and then you can pull the baby out.

And he was basically like, "Okay, sure." And then we got to the hospital, and as soon as he pushed the ticket for the turnstile, that was when I started anamorphic into a full feral animal.

in the front seat of the car, yeah. And like, just-- Oh, like I flipped myself over onto all fours and started just howling. Yeah, 'cause you were giving birth. 'Cause I was giving birth. And I thought, I don't know if I passed out. I feel like I must have, 'cause I kind of like collapsed. But I remember immediately hearing her cry.

And I thought, it's okay, because she's crying. Like, that means that, you know, she's getting air. And this was still in the parking garage. This is still in the car. I am, like, my hands were in the child seat, and my butt was, like, facing the dash. Yeah. Yeah. And Patrick had her still attached to me via the umbilical cord. I forget...

I feel like you were both telling me that you were trying to get security footage. Oh, we definitely did. Did you ever get it? We did. Yes. Yes. We are very much not allowed to share that in a public way, but we share it to each other. I mean, it's the classiest security footage because you can't see me. Literally, it's just a wonderful shot of our car and Patrick. Yeah.

diving into the car, appearing, turning around to the poor valet gentleman who couldn't have done anything. And we found out it was his first day on the job. - Oh my God. - And you see Patrick just basically being like, you know, and then he turns around and then he reappears with a baby. And he was just covered in afterbirth. The car was covered in afterbirth.

And then he came up to me and they, the hospital actually gave him honorary scrubs because they were just laughing at his jeans and his sweater. We still have pictures. It looks like a full crime scene.

It's such a good story. It was. I mean, it's unbelievable. It really is. And it's the best because she's healthy and she's amazing. And she's such a, I call her my bull in a china shop because she's a little tourist that literally just like. Yeah, I can't wait to see what she does. Shot out in the world. Just because of the way she came, she entered this world. Yeah. Yeah. Really quite remarkable. It was. It was amazing. I'm going to turn up for a new leaf and I'm going to say that today dinner's on me. No.

No. Yes. You don't have to. I'm absolutely going to do it. Dinner is on me. That's ridiculous. It's my New Year's resolution. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. I hope I'm not setting a precedent for anything. You probably are. This episode of Dinner's on Me was recorded at Lupiat Kitchen in Los Feliz, California.

Next week on Dinners on Me, you know him from his six seasons on NBC's Community and more recently helming the Fox comedy Animal Control, which debuted its third season in January. It's Joel McHale. We'll get into his start hosting the iconic pop culture show The Soup

lying about his height to get on Will & Grace and his appreciation for drag queens. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners On Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad-free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinners On Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today.

Dinner's On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and A Kid Named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Angela Vang. Sam Baer engineered this episode. Hans Del Schee composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Ballans-Kolasny and Justin Mikita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.

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