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Bad Childhoods Make Mothering a Challenge
2025/6/30
Dr. Laura Call of the Day
D
Dr. Laura
S
Susan
Susan: 我在童年时期遭受了母亲的虐待，包括性方面的侵犯，这让我很难在情感上与我的孩子们亲近。我曾经接受过咨询，但有些事情我没有告诉我的丈夫。他希望我能更频繁地拥抱孩子们，但我因为过去的经历感到不舒服。我害怕自己会变成像我母亲一样的人，尤其是对我的女儿。我不知道是否应该再次接受治疗，或者我是否应该继续按照我自己的方式去做。我现在的拥抱频率是每周至少两次，虽然不如我丈夫的家人那样频繁，但我认为我已经足够有爱心了。
Dr. Laura: 首先，你需要告诉你的丈夫，如果你想让你像他的家人一样，他就应该和他的姐妹或表姐妹结婚。其次，你感到害怕是很正常的，因为你经历过那些事。你担心自己会变成像你母亲一样的人，但你要记住，你不是你的母亲，你永远不可能成为她。你是一个善良、有爱心的女人。你感到困惑是因为你不想在女儿面前感到自己是施害者或受害者。这种困惑可能永远不会完全消失，但通过练习可以减轻。你可以通过快速的拥抱来练习，就像对待宠物一样。最后，告诉你的丈夫，你和心理治疗师谈过了，知道发生了什么以及该怎么做，但你永远不会成为他的姐妹或表姐妹。
Deep Dive
Susan, a caller to the show, seeks advice on whether to return to therapy at her husband's request. She reveals a history of sexual abuse by her mother and its impact on her ability to express affection. Her husband wants her to be more physically affectionate with their children, but she's hesitant due to her past trauma.
- Susan's mother was bipolar and exhibited sexually abusive behavior.
- Susan previously attended therapy to address past trauma but did not disclose the full extent of the abuse.
- Susan's husband wants her to hug their children more often.
- Susan feels she is loving enough towards her children, but her past experiences make initiating physical affection difficult.
Shownotes Transcript