Cancer Is Ruining Our Lives
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Well, I just, uh, I looked through the program on and off and I just thought I would maybe try to call first time, uh, uh, talking to you. I can't believe how fast I got through to you. Um, but, uh, I just, um, I got, uh, married. I'm 52 years old. I got married, um, six years ago and I, uh,

been in fast pace these last six years, but my wife, uh, developed, uh, cancer about a year and a half ago. It was, uh, you know, and, um, she's a big fighter and everything and all that. And, and, um, and we've had our, you know, we've had arguments and stuff before she developed it and everything, but a lot has changed now that she developed it as it was just an aggressive, uh,

stage four breast cancer, but it has spread since the year and a half, the biopsy where it's spread to the lung somewhat and then it actually spread to the brain too. But the issues I'm having is just last year, year or so after she's had it, it's a lot of change.

I work, I've worked a lot of hours each week. I mean, sometimes up to 70 hours. She worked a lot too before she had it. She doesn't work anymore. But a lot has changed as far as everything, you know, financially for us, everything. You know, she's at home all the time now and I'm still going to work. But my question is,

Our marriage has changed a lot as far as loving. And I don't know if it might be 100% me. Tim, Tim, stop talking. Stop. She's dying. Yeah. And your job is to make between now and dead for her as good as you can. That's your job.

Not to think about finances, not to think about how she's not sexy, not wanting stuff, it's changed. That's so self-centered. And I understand this is awfully scary for you and uncomfortable. I get all that. But you're a man and your woman is dying. And your job is to make that process be as best as you can figure out. So working 70 hours, not a good plan. Exactly.

Got to be there for her. And, you know, and I feel bad saying this because you just said it. I think I'm working to get away as much as I am because I'm scared. I appreciate that. I don't care if you're scared. She's dying, not you.

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But you should say, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there and we'll help your growing business. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Yeah, you're right. Well, you are, but at a much slower rate because we're all dead. You have a moral obligation between now, between today and dead to be there and to tolerate.

No matter what, yeah, no matter how it makes me feel or anything. You're right. And I have that instilled in me. It just made me, this whole last year has made me feel so good.

And I know you said it doesn't matter. It's made me scared for myself. And I kind of do the run. I don't know if it's flight or fight or flight. I hear that. You said it already. And I don't care. You're right. I don't care that you're scared and it's upsetting and you're missing out on the caretaking you thought you'd be getting at this time in your life. I get all of that. But you're her man and your woman is dying. So you have to put the rest of that aside.

You don't have the luxury of hiding and being a good man. You have to pick one. You're either going to be a good man or the man you've been. Yeah, absolutely. I am. I guess I'm calling. I do know that in my heart. It's like I need you to. I guess it's needed for me to hear that from someone. I am. I don't have a much social friend base or anything.

So I guess hearing that is going to really help me for me to think about that. I do appreciate this is terrible for you. Terrible. You have to man up. Yeah. Okay. Thank you for telling me something I already know. And it's good to hear from a person, especially someone as knowledgeable as you. I'm terribly sorry. Reassure. There's something incredible there.

about being there for her in this transition between life and death. Yeah. And if you haven't tapped into hospice, do so, because they'll help support you, because this ain't easy. Okay. Yeah, I need to man up, like you're saying, my dear. You'll have fewer regrets in life if you man up now. You'll do it. I feel secure in that you will do it. And the reason I feel secure is that you're open to hearing me.

In fact, I think you asked for it, which leads me to believe you're going to man up to Israel. Yeah. But tap into hospice because they will help you. Okay. I'll do that. I didn't think of that yet. I don't know if you need that yet, but it will. If it's in her brain, yes. Definitely. Thank you, Dr. Laura. You're welcome, Tim.

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