Don't Put All Your Eggs in the DNA Basket
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Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Mary, welcome to the program. Hi there. I'm excited to talk to you. So I tend to get upset with my siblings. I don't want to be upset, but the things that I feel, I feel hurt by them.

And yet I'm just, I don't even want to feel that way. And so I just wanted to know what you thought I might be able to do. And I don't know what the hell you're feeling so hurt about. What are you so hurt about? Okay. So one example I'd given to the person who screens you is every year I plan a birthday for them. It's just to go out to eat.

One year they actually planned one of the birthdays and just said, well, that's okay. We know you can't make it, but we're just going to do it at this time. So they totally didn't include me, but it's normally me planning them. So there's a birthday in April and May and June. And then my birthday comes along in July and there's nothing. And I have said something to them, you know, do you realize every year we have birthdays and, and,

you just kind of forget mine. And then one year they remembered it. But then this past year, my sister did say, you know, for your birthday, what are you thinking? And I just said, well, I'm real busy this week. But then it was kind of left at that. And then just nothing was done. And so this morning, they want to plan Christmas for the family.

And so there's a text thread and they're all figuring when to have Christmas. And I know that the Saturdays don't work for majority of my kids. And I just said, have you thought of doing it on a Sunday?

And they're like, no, Sunday doesn't work church and we won't be able to do it in the morning. I'm even thinking, why are we even doing it in the morning? And and then the next message thread is my sister saying I talked to the other sister. So we've just decided it'll be this Saturday. So just let your family know.

And when I try to kind of say, well, I don't understand your point of view altogether. I'm not sure I understand it. They've all got lives. They're not as invested in family togetherness as you are. Everybody's different. They're not all invested as much as you are. True. Also, the last example you gave, that was your fault. You didn't get back and say which day was good. So they let it drop.

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Stay connected to all you love with Life360. Visit Life360.com or download the app today and use the code DrLaura to get 15% off. That's Life360.com, code DrLaura. When there's one matriarch, like the mother of everybody, then that's the person who lays out the plan for the year of everybody's birthday. But you don't have that. So you've got a bunch of people. So spending your time being heard, I think, is to miss the point.

The point being, nobody is as invested as you are. That's it. They're not. Yeah. Yeah. If any one of them couldn't go on that Saturday, the others wouldn't give a damn. Not just you. I do believe they want to make sure. You can believe anything you want. I'm willing to make you a bet. Yeah.

You're personalizing this too much. And if you want people, I give myself birthday parties every year. This past year, I had a barbecue. Hot dogs, hamburgers in the backyard. Invited the people I gave a damn about. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, what am I celebrating? The day I was born? What difference does that make? But I was born and I care about these people and I'm going to celebrate with them. I just look at this differently, I think, than probably a lot of people, including you. You wanted a day where everybody makes you feel special. That's not their intent. I wanted to have them feel like they value, that they have some value in what I'm saying and I don't necessarily feel like they value me. Well then, spend more time with friends.

Because they do. Yeah. Because they're related by DNA. Doesn't make them all behave in a way that we all think they ought to. Yeah. No, I appreciate that. I needed to hear that. Let go of this. Stop caring and using this every year as a measure of how valuable you are. You have a number of, leave these siblings out of it. You have a lot of people who value you a tremendous amount.

And they don't have to because of DNA. They choose to because you're wonderful. Enjoy that. Now go do the right thing. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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