I Didn't Do the Right Thing
07:03 Share

Lilybug loves to explore the great outdoors while I'm here on the radio with you. I'm able to keep track of her whereabouts, though, thanks to the Life 360 Bluetooth tile. I clipped it onto her collar.

With a longer range, louder ring, and new SOS button, Tiles can be attached to everyday things like bicycles, keys, soccer bags, and even pets. Life360 puts the real-time location of the people and things you care about most in the palm of your hand. Link your Life360 and Tile accounts, and you'll be able to see everyone and everything that matters in one place on your Life360 map.

Whether you're keeping an eye on elderly parents or waiting for your teen to safely drive home, stay connected to all you love with Life360. Visit Life360.com or download the app today. Use the code DrLaura to get 15% off. That's Life360.com, code DrLaura.

Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Ray, welcome to the program. Hi, thank you. You're welcome. What's up?

Well, I have a situation where I dated somebody for some time, about six or seven years. She lived with me with her kids. I have a child all under the age of 13. Things unfortunately didn't work out.

And we're kind of still in a situation where we want to see each other, but we don't, whether or not we should just continue or just move on. And after listening to you for quite some time the last week or so, I'm kind of thinking with minor children, it's probably best just to leave it as is and move on. But I just want your opinion.

of course that's in their best interest they lost their original family now we had a yes we have one no we don't have another makeshift one with dad paying attention to some other woman's children when we need his full attention cause we've lost our home

as a mom and dad and all of that, and getting familiar with her, getting familiar with the kids, that's ripped away again. These kinds of things are so thoughtless that adults do and don't consider. We had a call in the last hour with a woman. It was a divorce and a remarriage and new kids, and she pointed out that she's still hurt, hurt, hurt.

from what seems like a lack of concern about the impact of choices on children. So your choice to shack up and bring people together where there was no commitment, destroying first family, trying to make a last minute, let's try this, and it didn't work, and then we want what we want. I admire you tremendously to say you've been listening to the program and realize you've hurt your kids and you've helped hurt her kids.

You've hurt a lot of kids because you two adults wanted what you wanted. You wanted a feeling of family. So you pretended one and things didn't work as they usually don't when they were minor kids. 70% of the time, these situations don't work with minor kids. And so kids end up losing yet again. So I don't want to hear from one of your kids in the future that they're hurt because

Because apparently you didn't consider the impact of your choices on them. But now you are considering it. So bless you for that. So to further the point, should we continue dating and just let the children? No, get on. Raise your kids. You already destroyed their original family. Raise your kids. Come on. Don't be dealing with her. Don't be dealing with her kids. That's not fair to your kids. All right. I appreciate your help.

I mean, what do you think this all taught your kids? The divorce, the shacking up. What do you think? Be honest now. It teaches my kids that commitments don't matter. Come on, you tell me. What does this history of your choices, what impact has it had on your kids? Tell me. You're absolutely correct that we put our needs and desires in front of theirs. So I agree with you 100%.

Thank you, but you didn't tell me what it taught the kids. Tell me that. Well, it taught them that commitment's not important and you can walk away when you want to walk away or relationships aren't important. How do you think you might unteach them that? That I don't know. I have no clue. How old are your kids again? Mine is 11. Hers are 9 and 13. No, I don't care about hers. I care about yours. So you have an 11-year-old.

You have to sit down and say, you've screwed up and you've hurt him and you know it. That's how you begin. Tell him the truth. You screwed up and tell him the ways you screwed up. Hurting your original marriage, making a decision to divorce, playing games with this woman and her kids. This was all wrong. You need to teach him this is wrong. That's how you unravel it. Okay. And apologize. Yes.

And say, I'm going to focus in on you and us from now on. Because that's what it always should have been. That's how you teach him. Okay. Sounds like a good plan. And it sounds difficult at first. But once you get into it, you're going to feel very good that you could be this upfront teacher.

and this vulnerable and this open and take that much responsibility. He will respect you more for the rest of his life. We have conversations like that, so I don't think it'll be difficult. It'll just be difficult. No, but this is you admitting you screwed up and apologizing and being clear on how you screwed up. Screwed up the marriage, made this decision to shack up, still playing footsies with her. This is not going to be easy. This will be another level.

But it's what you need to do in order to help him come to another point of understanding that decisions matter to kids. It isn't all about you and your happiness. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars.

And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

Tired of listening to the same old playlists or podcasts over and over? Maybe it's time to mix things up. Try something new. Hit explore. Avoid the blah and the boring before you've even put your headphones in. Add some fun in the mix. Say yabba-dabba-doo to a bowl of Pebble cereal and enjoy by the spoonful. Fruity and Cocoa Pebble cereal. Less blah, more yabba-dabba-doo. Head to your nearest grocery store to buy Pebble cereal today. The Flintstones and all related characters and elements copyright and trademark Hanna-Barbera.