I Feel Like I Live in a Zoo
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Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Jenny, welcome to the program.

Hi, Dr. Laura. I've been listening to you for 26 years and you're the reason I was a stay-at-home mom when my baby was little. I was in San Francisco and I heard what you had to say and it's been the best listening to you so many years. Thank you. Thank you.

So I have a life dilemma and it's a little weird. I remarried four years ago. I was married to my children's father for 20. And we moved during COVID to a large ranch and we had lived in a big, big city. So my dilemma is my husband is a very sweet, kind man. However, he keeps... No, no, no. Slow down. Slow down. Slow down. How did you meet a guy who lives on a ranch?

So he lived in the big city as well. And when he was getting ready to retire, we decided, hey, why don't we randomly buy a ranch? He grew up on a farm originally, so that's what he wanted to get back to. And do you have any experience on a ranch with lots of dirt and horses? Zero. Zero.

What made you think that was interesting? You got to tell me where this came from. I think I found it. Yeah, I found it interesting. The city we were in had so many issues with fires and riots and shutdowns. And we'd walk out of our condo and there would be fires in the dumpster. So I think it was a little bit of a chance to get away from the city and do something new during the COVID time.

So whose money paid for the... And my sons had gone off to college. So whose money paid for the ranch? Me. Mine. You bought a ranch. Correct. May I ask how much this ranch cost? The ranch at the time before COVID was $900,000. And how big is it? We put about a million in. Whose million? His or yours or ours? Mine. Did you know that skincare can start in the laundry room?

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Okay. Did he have no money or did he just not want to participate financially? He has a pension and he had a little bit of money. I put the ranch in my adult children's name, so it's in a trust. So if anything ever happened, it would go to them. So I didn't feel like it was throwing away the money as much as giving them something potentially for the future.

Got it. Okay. Did you talk to an attorney or a CPA about his living there and what rights financially that gives him? Yes. And what did you discover? Well, it was in a clear prenup and a clear trust that if anything happened to us,

He would get a portion of it that he's put in with his own money. And he actually works on the ranch thing, you know, doing the plumbing, electrical and many of the upgrades. So if we were to sell it, he would get a specific portion based on what he's put in. Right. OK, so how can I help?

Okay, so we moved here and, for instance, we had, I'm actually, the question is, I'm struggling to be kind and nice and having him wake up. And I always love your saying, do something kind to make them remember why you married them. And we got one dog and then we got a dog for the dog.

And then in December, he wanted a litter. He always wanted one litter of puppies to see that. And we had decided we were giving them all away, you know, selling or giving them away. And he decided to keep two of them because he fell in love with them. So now we have four dogs. And when we first moved here, we were getting chickens. So I said, okay, let's do eight. And he ordered 80.

So I find myself very resentful because now I have so many chores where that wasn't the plan. And he participates. May I ask a few questions? He's not working. Yes. He wants these animals. Why isn't he taking care of them? Why do you have chores? Well,

When he came out here, he did get a job that he gets to. He's basically, he works in the water commissioning world. So he ended up getting a quote day job and then does other chores around the property in the evening. So why are you doing chores?

Well, because if I don't, he won't. And then I feel like I live in a, just like it's a complete shit show with everything. So I like nice things in order. I don't know that for, ma'am, I don't know that. So are the chickens the problem or the dogs? The dogs. Oh, so you're good with 80 chickens. Not too much the dogs.

Well, they're not as big of a hassle because they're not in the house with us and, you know, jumping around and they're just dirty coming in and out. Tell you what, I'm sure somewhere near where you live, there is a dog trainer who can train you to get control over the animals so it's less chaos for you. That's a simple fix. Okay.

I mean, I've seen trainers have, they have eight dogs in a row. They're all shoulder to shoulder sitting there and you call each one by name and they don't move until you call their specific name. Dogs are very readily, most of them are very readily trainable. Get a trainer. I like that. It's fun too when your dog can do all kinds of things and you can stop them from doing the things they shouldn't be doing. It's a lot of fun. Okay. I like that suggestion.

Good. Okay. Well, you are the best. And I love buying your books for these new young people who are getting married. That's always what I send them when I get the invitation. Oh, excellent. By the way, are your chickens making a lot of eggs? They make so many eggs, which is really nice. And they also, I mean, they, you know what? They're all around me right now as we speak. And all of a sudden they're quiet. It's like children. When you want them to make a noise, they don't.

Well, are you selling the eggs? You know what? I give, I, I'm a nurse. So I get, I bring a lot to the hospital and, um, uh, and I give them away basically. It's hard to sell them. Yeah. Well, I'm glad the only problem is significant problem. We can readily repair and you're going to love it when these dogs are trained, you're going to love having that control. I promise you love, love, love, love, love, love it.

My number 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

This Father's Day, help Dad be all he can be with a gift from the Home Depot. Because he's not just Dad, he's the handyman of the house, the plumber in a pinch, and the emergency mechanic. Upgrade his gear this Father's Day with the Husky Mechanics 270-piece tool set from the Home Depot. Now on special buy for $119, a $695 value. For every kind of Dad, find the perfect gift this Father's Day at the Home Depot.