I Found All the Answers I Needed at DrLaura.com
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Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Ruth, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Hi. I

had it on my calendar to call you today about a question and to help me make a decision, but I got my answer. Yesterday I was hearing a lot of your YouTube podcast and deep dives on my Spotify and on SiriusXM and I think in different phone calls I got my answer from you. So I want to thank you for

putting me in my place and helping me decide which is now to divorce my current husband of eight years. And the reason why I got the desire and courage to call you right now is because the young lady that was talking to you about her husband being addicted to porn and chickening out and you wanting her to be back on the call so that you could

tell others and have others like us hear your advice and that story. I wanted to be able to finish that conversation with my own story and my own problem. Tell me the story and tell me how you came to your current decision. Is that okay? Absolutely. Did you know that skincare can start in the laundry room?

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Are you still quoting 30-year-old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now. It pays to discover. Learn more at discover.com slash credit card based on the February 2024 Nelson Report.

Go ahead. My story is I was married before him. He was my second marriage. I was married for 23 years to a man that was gay.

I had two kids with him. I did not know he was gay. He was my only husband. I saved myself for marriage, so I had never been with anybody else. And he had childhood issues, abandonment from his mother, and...

Through the years, I did have my doubts, but and I did address them with him and he would always deny them. But I had my kids. I had two. They're now 26 and 33. And 10 years ago, almost 11 years ago, I found out that he was having an affair with my son's best friend and told. Yeah. Told my son to not tell me anything.

Because I was going to go crazy and freak out and I am by nature not like that. I don't yell, I don't scream, I try to keep it under control all the time no matter how I feel. From you I learned to control my feelings and to not act on them but to act with my head.

So I kicked him out of the house and I told him that the worst thing he could do to me was not protect our son, who was at the time 21 years old, working full time and going to college full time. But I kicked him out. He left. I moved on with my life. I was a stay at home mom.

homeschooled my kids all their life, my daughter until she went to ninth grade, out of need because I had to go and find a job. So I did and didn't know if I was going to be hired because I had been for 20 years a stay-at-home mom. My resume didn't look very good. Didn't go to college at the time because I was waiting to be able to finish college

Raising my kids and then go back to college myself. So life went on and I got a job, a really good job, started getting my life back together. And about...

A year after I was divorced and separated and going through all of those things, I get a Facebook notification from my now husband, who at the time lived in Guatemala, but we went to elementary school together. So I wasn't necessarily as strange to him. I knew his name, and I was alone at the time wondering what I would do with my life. And we started connecting and talking and talking.

I found out he was a really nice guy, gentle, completely the opposite of my ex-husband. And I put certain patterns and certain things for me to know that I was doing the right thing. So we long distance dated per se because he was in Guatemala and I was here. And I told him that if he wanted to come and visit, he would have to do it all on his own. So I never provided any information.

any money, finance, nothing. He had to do it all on his own. He worked three jobs, applied for a visa, got a visa, came to visit. My kids approved of him, loved him. My parents loved him. I said, if my parents don't approve, I don't care that I am 40-some years old. If they don't approve, you and I are not going anywhere. So I thought I was doing... It looked so good then. What happened?

Well, it was basically a dream come true and the life that I always wanted. Two years after we got married, we're laying down in bed and I see him texting another woman on an app. In bed with you? He's in bed with you texting? Yes. What? Yes. I got up.

He thought I was asleep. I got up. I go to the living room crying my eyes out and thinking, oh, no, not again. And what have I done? So he tells me, I'm sorry, I feel lonely. He was working on and off because we had him working as a subcontractor. What did he feel only about? He lived with you. Yeah.

What? Yeah, exactly. His kids, all grownups, they are all in Guatemala. So he has no family. He doesn't have anybody here. Basically just me. I see. So I told him he had to get help. I told him we need marriage counseling. I told him that we had to figure something out. And by the time that happened, I had already...

enroll myself in college and by the grace of God just last summer I finally finished my psychology I need you to jump I need you to jump to the decision to leave him jump right to that I I did I did Dr. Laura I just decided the reason you decided was is because it went on into also him starting alcohol

All right. I see the picture. Okay. And I appreciate that you went through the whole story. And what did you listen to in my podcast that made you decide it was time to hit the road? That when you love somebody, you don't do anything other than to make them happy. And in my experience, I have done all of that for him.

But he hasn't. And instead of becoming a better human being, he's just taking advantage. Well, thank you for sharing that whole story. And it makes me very happy about a sad thing, divorcing, that you found the answer without having me bug you directly, just indirectly through the podcast. I appreciate you sharing that. I hope other people hear that and will understand.

Take advantage of our podcasts. My number is 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos, and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me to. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com slash drlaura and instagram.com slash drlauraprogram.

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