We're sunsetting PodQuest on 2025-07-28. Thank you for your support!
Export Podcast Subscriptions
cover of episode I Thought We Were Happy

I Thought We Were Happy

2025/4/21
logo of podcast Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

AI Chapters Transcript
Chapters
A woman discovers her husband's emotional affair and seeks advice on how to forgive him and what to do. She is scared to be alone after 10 years of marriage and having three children.
  • 10-year marriage
  • Husband's emotional affair with an ex-girlfriend
  • Wife's fear of being alone
  • Three children

Shownotes Transcript

When Skechers says they've revolutionized how you put on and take off your shoes, they aren't kidding. I just got my first pair of hands-free Skechers slip-ins, and I want them in every color. You literally just step into your Skechers slip-ins, and they're on. No bending, no struggling. They're fantabulous. I came up with that word.

Feet gently slide in thanks to an invisible built-in shoe horn. A heel pillow feature keeps your foot secure. Slip-ins come in athletic and casual styles for men, women, and kids. They even have sandals with special features and fits like Skechers air-cooled memory foam, arch fit, relaxed fit, wide fit. Once your feet have experienced hands-free Skechers slip-ins, they won't want to wear any other shoe. They certainly exceeded my expectations.

You can find Skechers at Skechers.com slash Dr. Laura or Skechers.com. Use the promo code Dr. Laura. Valid for 20% off site-wide. Standard exclusions apply. Valid March 5th through May 30th, 2025.

Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Jessica, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thanks for taking my call. Hi. Thank you. What can I help you with?

So I am in a 10-year-long marriage, great marriage, what I thought. And recently I found out that my husband has reached out to an ex-girlfriend of 20 years ago that is also married. And they were talking for about three weeks until, like texting, she lived somewhere else, we lived somewhere else, millions of miles away. But her husband,

husband reached out to me to let me know that this was happening. I was unaware of it. So now I'm just kind of searching for some advice on what do I do? You know, he says he was happy. That's up to you. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You can't ask somebody what you should do. I know. What are you thinking? Nobody can tell you that.

You have to make an appraisal and assessment and a decision. So when you talked to him and said, you just got caught, what did he say? He, you know, took full...

I thought something was happening and I confronted him and he said, no, no, no, no. But then when I got some, a text message from a number I didn't know, which happened to be her husband, then I asked him again and he confessed and said, yes. But I just, I don't know how or why he would do it, but he's taken full responsibility ownership. You know, he said, he's sorry. Shouldn't have done it. Regrets it. Yeah.

But it's just it's one of those things like why I don't know why and I don't know how it could have happened. So because it was sexy and fun after being married for a long time, it's kind of fun to feel flirty and sexy. Yeah, that's mostly why anybody does it. So how do you get over it? Maybe that's what my question is. Not even if I should stay. Just how do I like forgive him? You will never you will never forget it. Never, never forget it. Never.

You can decide because he's a billionaire and you don't want to give up the money. You have 18 kids. You want to see them all in college. You think you're ugly, dumb or stupid or unlovable. And so you don't want to risk finding somebody else. I mean, a lot of people stay for all kinds of reasons. But we know two things. He was willing to do that and he's willing to lie to your face. That's a little disconcerting. Right. Exactly. And that's why I haven't made the decision to.

But it's yours. Nobody can give you advice on this. Nobody should give you advice on this. I hate that I can't make that decision. Not. OK, let me explain to you. Not leaving is making the decision. Yeah, you're right.

I guess I'm just scared to be on my own after 10 years and we have three little ones. Oh, my God. You're a grown woman. You're sending your kids out into the world and saying, I'm too scared, even though I'm older and more experienced than you are. You shouldn't be scared at life at all. I am more scared. Do you realize? You realize that? Yeah, I am. I know. I'm scared. That's weird. Okay. Well, then if scared is the point at which you draw the line, then you stay because you're scared. I get it. Yeah. Yeah.

Amazon Pharmacy presents Painful Thoughts. 20 more minutes to kill in the pharmacy before my prescription is ready. Maybe I'll grab some deeply discounted out-of-season Halloween candy. Hmm, I never had a chocolate pumpkin with raisins before.

Those were raisins, right? Next time use Amazon Pharmacy. We deliver. And no, those were not raisins. Amazon Pharmacy. Healthcare just got less painful. Spring is in full bloom at the Home Depot. So what are you working on? How about a quick and stylish patio furniture update? Check out a variety of on-trend dining sets with plenty of space for entertaining.

And what's outdoor dining without a shiny new grill? Find a wide selection of grills under $300, like the NexGrill 4-Burner Gas Grill for only $229. Then add a little ambiance with string lights. Transform your space this spring with everything you need from The Home Depot.

Are you still quoting 30-year-old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now. It pays to discover. Learn more at discover.com slash credit card based on the February 2024 Nelson Report.

Uh-oh. The last cookie. You can get a new box of cookies in as fast as an hour with Walmart Express Delivery. Are you my guilty self-conscious? No, I'm the voice offering you promo code EXPRESS for free delivery on your first order. Hey! Who ate my cookies? You mean these cookies? Order now. Welcome to your Walmart. Promotion ballot for first express delivery order. $50 minimum subject to availability. Restrictions apply. No one can give you advice. No one should give you advice. Right.

And I'm just looking for an answer. I don't know why. Because you don't want to have to make a decision. Because you don't want to have to make the decision. It's too hard and hurtful. Yep. You're right. It's too hard and hurtful. All right. Well, you know, you don't have to make it this month, this year. You don't have to make it this year. There's no rush. I know.

So just stay in it, feel it. Don't ask a question. Don't ask anybody that question. Don't ask anybody that question. But if I stay, I feel like I'm just saying it's okay. What you did was okay if I stay. I don't care how you frame it. You don't have to do arguments back and forth. Is he the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? Yes or no? I don't know. Well, then, don't giggle. This is important.

Then take the time. As I said, no rush. Okay. Meanwhile, while you're taking the time, you can talk to an attorney, find out what the financials would be, what that would be like, and do this privately. Don't discuss it with him. Just check, get all the information you need because that helps with decisions. So you need more information. Okay.

So talk to an appropriate attorney and find out what all your rights are and what you could expect financially. Do you have any kids under the age of 18? Three. Well, then how old is the youngest? Stop giggling. Just stop it. Nervous or not, just stop it. I don't like to take people's lives more seriously than they appear to, okay? This is serious. So how old is the youngest one? Three. Okay.

Well, then you have 15 more years, decision made. 15 more years until? Then you can divorce if you'd like to, but right now, don't tear their family apart. So stay for the kids? Absolutely. Isn't that your moral obligation to make decisions based on their... Well, they say... Hey, hey, hey! Based on their best interest, I always ask,

who call about these sorts of things, do you have any minor kids? Unless they're danger or destructiveness, you waited out for the sake of the children not to be going back and forth, you marrying somebody else, him having some girlfriends. They don't need all that crap. They need an intact home. Even if it's not a happy home? Well, you can walk around looking moody or you could walk around looking nice. You know you have that choice. Right.

You can punish the kids because you're hurt, or you can act like more of a woman, a mature woman, and do what's necessary for the best interest of your kids. Right. And it's not in their best interest to have you split up, to have two homes and no home, two places to visit but no home, and the two of you having other people in your lives. They don't need any of that if you want them to grow up healthy, happy, and focused. Okay. That's helpful. So...

I didn't think about it at first, but yeah, the decision's made. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Takes a little burden off you, but it puts another one to be morally obligated to children. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If it's not happy, don't make it happy. 20 minutes ago, before you knew about this, you were happy. They never actually connected.

They just flirted on the phone or whatever. Texts. My number are 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

Okay, we've got Katie's project, Dan's bake sale, Emma has a test tomorrow? Uh, sweetie, I'm out of my blood pressure, man. Managing the house while Mama's gone is not easy. But did you know that now, Walmart Pharmacy has prescription delivery straight to your door? Wait, what? Really? Yep, just upload your prescription to the Walmart app and keep doing your thing. We'll bring your groceries and prescriptions all in one bag and straight to your door. Thanks. Dad, when does Mom come back? In 38 hours and 47 minutes. Okay.

Now, your pharmacy comes to you. Welcome to your Walmart. Delivery not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.